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Why GenZ Can't Speak or Think Clearly
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 เม.ย. 2023
- Communicating effectively is a challenge for GenZ. We are inundated with information and our language abilities have deteriorated. In this video, I explore some of the common difficulties faced by GenZ and millennials when expressing their thoughts and ideas clearly. By understanding these obstacles, we can work towards improving communication skills and achieving a better clarity of thought. #genz #millennials
My Twitter/X: / joseph_tsar_
It’s also true that anxiety or the feeling of being socially uncomfortable can have a devastating impact on your ability to think and speak clearly… Goodness, people describe me as a good speaker, until social anxiety gets the better of me, then they find me particularly quiet or flat out just a mess. And with people I’m comfortable with, my baseline vocabulary skyrockets (it seems), while with others, correctly formulating a sentence is a task in itself. Odd how it works isn’t it? Sometimes it’s more about mindset and psychology than it is about your actual/natural clarity of thought and communication skills.
When you are mumbling your words and they think you are dumb but in reality you are just socially anxious..
I am exactly like this 😭
Also lack of sleep...I find I cannot recall information correctly when I'm exhausted (I'm always exhausted)
Wow I relate to this so hard. I have never really thought about it but when I am with my friends I feel like a genius with my words. When I am with strangers I feel like I cannot string together a decent sentence.
Same
Attention. All of my college classes were lectures, lasting from 55-85 minutes. During freshman year, you eventually could not only follow the lecture, but summarize it on paper at the same time. A well spoken lecture was a thing of beauty- I took a Shakespeare class where the professor would open with a thought, explore and expand, and circle around to the beginning, ending the lecture with a greatly enlarged and nuanced understanding of the beginning point. It was a giant circle, and the end was like watching a plane come in for a landing.
👒
I'm in graphic design, my lessons are around 4-5hours with breaks in-between soooo....
@@therealjesterguysI mean good for you? It’s not a competition
@@woklab159 it's the fact they're acting as if college lectures aren't as long or good as they used to be, when in actuality, (at least where I'm from) college lectures are way longer then 1-2hours. But if you really wanna add to the negativity, go for it sweety lmao
@@therealjesterguys you missed any point they were trying to make. you are the subject of this video.
Talking to one’s self is HIGHLY UNDERRATED. even if not recorded on video or voiced memo --just talk to yourself more!!! Have conversations with yourself out loud!! And yes, all these other tips are extremely true and helpful. I’ve gone thru so many similar revelations as you in recent years and it has made me sooooo much better at communicating. I only just recently feel completely comfortable and confident in my own thoughts and voice (and I’m 28 now, it’s great that you are already finding these revelations at 21)
Exactly,I start to do that when i was a kid and now im more older (16)
I walk in circles talking to myself,and trying to explain some topic that catch mi attention (maybe my parents think i have schizophrenia but anyways)
Cal Newport in "digital minimalism" and "deep work" talk about how doing long walks is very beneficial,and im surprise that anyone ever in youtube talk about this
In his books he talk about many authors who do that and gave them good benefits,some are Nietzsche,Carl Jung,Charles Darwin,Frédéric Gros,Thoreau,and Cal Newport itself
He makes a sort of strategy to use this in your favor,is what he calls "Meditate Productively" or "take long walks" not only improve the way of sharing your thoughts but also as he says "it helps strengthen your
distraction-resisting muscles, and by forcing you to push your focus deeper and deeper
on a single problem, it sharpens your concentration"
Specialy walking in nature help you in many ways,not only in a cognitive sense rather,in mood and general well being
In the book think fast and think slow,in the chapter 3 the author talks about that he have the best thoughts of his life while walking with his friend
And yeah I think is one of the most unspoken and underrated habits you can do
(Sorry if I don't speak so well,English isn't my mother lenguage,I'm try to improve the way I output my thoughts in the 3 lenguages I Know.)
Have good day :)
I have talked to myself all my life. I grew up alone and I suppose that's how it started. But it's also because I just never feel alone. I feel as if God or maybe a guardian angel is with me 24/7. I used to love taking long walks late at night talking over thought to myself. I blow myself away constantly with what seem to be new understandings and wisdom that will just flow from my mouth. I did this so often that I have rationalized and put into form my opions and theories on nearly every subject or idea that could ever be brought up by another person. Perfecting and using this self talk so much it led to making me feel good each time I do it. To the point of nearly feeling high! And the older I get the better and more confident communicator I have become. When speaking to most people I feel that I quickly make them impressed and often intermediated by the language and subjects I hit them with. This has been a massive part of my identity and feeling of self. And it is my most honed important skill and tool for use in society. I have talked my way into and out of situations that others would have failed and been subjected to things like arrest by Police, not hired in interviews... very very beneficial. What really have devistated my mindset in the last couple years though is due to years of drug addictions and abuse of my mind and body I have been losing large amounts of my ability to think and speak. This has really effected my relationships. As I can obviously see how people who typically before were seemingly captivated by my oration, are now wondering what is off with me. And lose interest quickly while speaking with me. Knowing that I have only myself to blame for destroying my brain, my greatest gift.
I really believe that face to face deep meaningful conversation is one of the top tools that must be implemented in order to begin to get our society back into a coheasive organism. Kids have not been taught how to be human! Each generation less and less was taught. Les expected from.
@@yoshua...5336 Good job, man! This paragraph is like, 95% accurate. There are only a few spelling errors, and the rest are just punctuation things-- but if you said this out loud it would be flawless. Keep it up. (P.s. if you don't meditate (normally) already, I recommend it! It would fit alongside the other good habits you're already cultivating.)
I’m 43. Mental diet is important but talking to myself has hurt more than helped. My goal is not conceptualizing everything I see. Just letting it be and accepting it as it is.
That's kinda what you do in therapy. Tho results very highly, i prefer therapists be more hands on personally but it works
I think we struggle to communicate because many of our educators discourage open-minded discussions. It makes it easier for them to cram down their own narrative of everything. Debating is extremely uncomfortable when you have to appeal to authority to save your grade. Academics (particularly in universities) have an extreme aversion to disagreement.
But do you communicate with someone outside school/uni? There are numerous interesting topics to discuss outside study, for example your own interests, and that very rarely involves the necessity to hinder your opinion to appeal to an authority of some sort. The Internet only makes it much more accessible. It is also eroding everyone's attention span, encourages engaging in consuming useless stupid information, but that doesn't have anything to do with education. Are you sure it is the school authorities that's hindering your attempts at discussion, not something else?
@@Bratjuuc That seems a little hypocritical, don’t you think?
@@FreeThePickle what exactly are you calling hypocritical? If you're talking about the OP explanation, then I would restrain myself from calling him a hypocrite to preserve my emotional hygiene
@@Bratjuuc you say the internet is eroding everyone’s attention span and giving them stupid information, and having them focus on non-educational things but in the same breath say it increases their accessibility to sharing their opinion. So is it good or bad? That’s self-contradictory at the least and undermines the intelligence of students. Speaking online also doesn’t compare at all to expressing your opinions in a public forum where all of your peers (and authority figures) can identify you and you can be retaliated against. I would argue that school is one of the most important places you should be able to express your opinion. Different perspectives allow teachers to maintain a high level of accountability and facilitate social learning.
@@Bratjuuc To me it sounds like you’re making an excuse for authoritarian teachers with agendas?
I think that reading is pivotal to improve the problem that you so perfectly are describing. Adding to this, there are a couple of exercises that I’ve practiced to better my ability. Here’s a short summary.
1. Speak as many words of a category you select as you possibly can in one minute. That can be everything related to “dogs”, “childhood”, “family guy”.
2. Practice speaking as fast on a subject as you possibly can without repeating yourself for one minute. No stops. Just maintain a steady tempo like you’re broadcasting.
3. Do the same as no.2 but without any filler words. No “kinda”, “uhmm!” Etc. i’ve found this to improve my speech the most.
I do this both in english and my native language, and I’ve seen good results in just a couple of weeks. The exercises don’t take up much time per day, you can actually do them in five minutes. Shower is perfect for it.
Do you have the idea that these exercises help with stringing words together in a sentence as well, especially the first one?
Thank you 😊
What is your native language?
@@qazxswpat I find that the exercises has made it easier to access words, when I try to make up sentences on the go. However, I cannot pinpoint which exercise has contributed to that change specifically.
@@aaronramirezgarcia9753 Swedish
As a Gen Z, I realize that I struggle with this immensely. I believe social media has a big impact in the way we communicate and think nowadays.
I try to read more, write more and overall learn more. After so much time spent on social media, I was never able to form my own opinion on things. Devoting my time into more educational activities instead of social media has been a big help.
Same 🤔
As much information and education!
I'm also gen z tryna fix this. What kind of books have you been reading?
@@iiovlayIf an insecure person sees the majority of people eating shit off the ground, they would do it too for no apparent reason
It's not just for consuming information & learning, all those social media has random information or ordered information that aligns to your preference,by using the brain for understanding ( brakedown information) and by asking questions / intract / engage with topics further ( communication ) is the best you could do! ( problem solving)
....
Reading & writing as the information in this video,gen Z can write stuff but still struggles to present an idea/ communicate with it..... Meaningful because gen Z might can't handle live teaching or brakingdown information while a communicating with a person,to my observation they still can because of the data on their brain from social medias, e.g if you talk to a person who never saw a diagram of sound waves,they can't imagine it in their brain therefore they just don't understand what's going on
Having ADHD and being critiqued for my way of expressing myself caused me to turn so much of my thoughts and ideas inward that I now have trouble making sense of them. I’ve realized that the longer you house your thoughts and ideas the more abstract and vague they become. The same thing applies to emotions. It’s hard to identity something you never had the space to express. I never realized how important it is to take up space in the world because if you don’t you can almost feel yourself disappear and everything you think feel and believe disappear
so true dude
ADHD is fake
Real
Keep an eye out for someone who is comfortable enough to be a sound board, typically someone who is comfortable with silence and enjoys your presence and values ya’lls friendship and is open to have deep conversations. I’ll be praying for your friendships and the processing of thoughts, you got this and I hope you find someone you can trust and enjoy being around!!!
I am the same, I spent so many years suppressing my self just so I come across as normal and fit in, I now have become a socially awkward mess... preferred it when I had no filters and was unchained, at least I was entertaining rather than this boring dull husk.
You approached this topic with such compassion. It's easy to look down on people struggling with something you have solutions to (even if you used to or sometimes still struggle with the same thing). There's this comfort in subconsciously/consciously distancing yourself from someone you might deem weaker, less knowledgeable. You managed to get past that and that's respectable af
This is how I felt towards my guy friend. I'm not saying he is bad however, the way he thinks and only based on biases kinda gives me the creeps instead what I wanted to hear from him.
I truly want him to change but I guess that won't happened unfortunately
“We have the information but lack the wisdom”
You have found such a beautiful way of reflecting on something that is causing so much confusion, strife and mob mentality…. I’m subbing ❤
you are sobbing. you are not subbing you are sobbing. Unless you ARE subbing in which go off queen
Ahahahaha
Honestly, I'm not trying to be rude, but this isn't a huge revelation that "we have the information, but lack the wisdom." This is a very obvious statement that my own generation (GenX) and all others older than myself have been saying for quite a few years now. Previous generations didn't have nearly the level of technology that is available to us today, and yet we somehow had more wisdom to go with the knowledge.
I'm glad someone his age has figured this out, and is making an effort to better himself. Other millenials and GenZ'ers would do well to follow suit. I say this because as someone who talks to the general public all day every day, I can't even begin to tell you how painful some of the conversations are. Having to ask a million and one questions at the beginning of a phone conversation to guide the young person on the other end of the line to just get their name out of them and the reason for their call is frustrating to say the least. It's almost as if they don't have any idea as to why they called in the first place.
We can find out anything nowadays thanks to the Internet, I’ve learnt so much from how to cook something, playing the piano to building stuff but people would rather watch prank videos or people dancing badly
In my own case, it’s likely due to my own insecurities about processing and retaining that which I hope for the love of God is valuable in some way.
I deliberately tune out that which I would enjoy more of, out of fear that I don’t have the capacity to truly appreciate it. That I can never be on the same level as them.
I love the type of long form videos where there is only talking no animation no clickbaits nothing. Feels more connected.
I also agree with you.
Kind of scary that this type of talk is becoming more rare. In the age of social media information is boiled down to 40s and stripped off nuance and complex thought.
It’s rare right? Well creators are kind of forced to adapt. A creator can make connected material…However, the creator risks being thrown into the back of yt algorithm with a small chance of blowing up (a much needed discussion like this ) 3 years later..
If you love this type of commentary make sure to support and engage because platforms aren’t prioritizing it as often. It sucks and why it feels rare.
People have become more attracted to flashy editing. Only if the video gives them dopamine, their short attention span will be captured.
No clickbait? Have you read the title of the video? An obvious clickbait in the form of a great overgeneralization. I did not watch the video, one who is creating such clickbait does not deserve my view. I came here to comments to read critique and only saw people who can't think clearly.
This topic has been on my mind for a while now. I had no idea if it was generational or just a domain I seemed to struggle in. As I am researching Ph.D. programs to apply to, I feel I cannot convey my ideas verbally, as I can on paper. It makes me a bit anxious about interviews and future presentations I may have to do because when I am trying to convey my ideas verbally, I find myself constantly reaching for words in my head. It's comforting to know I am not the only one struggling, but it is also nothing to be excited about.
I relate to this a lot
See how you flawlessly expressed your point through text without going on a tangent? I feel the exact same way as you do. Had I put this text/thought into speaking I would be all over the damn place, evening if I was talking to the person I'm closest to who I'm not afraid of sharing my thoughts with.
Despite that my words and thus meaning would begin to slowly but surely string into of a buncha mumbo jumbo and as soon as I began to realize I've already forgotten what I was saying in the first place...
Its generational and was done intentionally to all of you. The difference between my Gen Z employees and my millenial employees is night and day. Well I guess Jedi and Sith is more accurate, I get a lot of ultimatums and absolutes from Gen Zs. Millennials use actual diplomacy and usually get what they want, Gen Zers use demands and threats and usually are let go. Social media REALLY messed up the egos of a lot of you. I've met a few exceptions, the most impressive and unique Gen Z I've hired? She was home schooled and didn't have a FB until she was 17. So there's your culprits. A school system more concerned with making social justice warriors than educated adults, and a social media system run by algorithms that are designed to keep you addicted by feeding your ego and keeping you riled up.
I'm so glad I'm not alone on this 😭 I feel so dumb sometimes and incompetent when it comes to speech. When I was 12, a speech therapist told me that I had the vocabulary of a 30 year old in my native language, now I feel incompetent in both English and my native tongue.
I definitely realized that speaking slowly helps, and I learned to care less if I get interrupted or to directly tell someone that I'm still speakig.
I think the highlight from this video was the output thing. I've tried journaling and it helped, but I think I need to learn journal methods so I can sort out the closet more effectively 😅
“Depression is synonymous to lack of clarity” I never thought of it this way.
Depression is also anger turned against the self
@@audreydoyle5268I’ve always felt the opposite, anger towards the world
Depression is lack of control of your life. If you were in control you wouldn’t be depressed
@@heydani6678That’s the dumbest comment i’ve ever seen. Go see a psychiatrist and tell me if they think you’re right.
@@heydani6678we’re all being controlled by the government lmao, you’re never actually free
This is blowing my mind. I'm GenZ (22yo), and I have had these exact struggles and pointed them out to myself. I knew that I wanted to improve in speech articulation because I'd always be so frustrated with myself for not being able to put my point across clearly during my time in college, still even during my graduate program. It has been one of my biggest insecurities when in an intellectual environment or even with people I respect a lot. In written communication, I almost always re-read and spell-check everything I send out, but no one has that opportunity during spoken communication, and yes, I instead ramble on too quickly and end up speaking gibberish because I can't go any deeper than the "me" depth in thought.
Honestly, thank you Joseph. It's relieving to know that other people my age are having the same issue. That point you made about how therapists piece together the thoughts of their patients really interested me, too. They are essentially being a surrogate to that person's clarity. I'm sure actually attending therapy may help the patient improve in being their own sources of clarity.
You've articulated my situation pretty well here! I'm also 22 and increasingly aware of my poor speech and communication skills. It's such a hit to my self-esteem and confidence especially, as you noted, being in intellectual circles or merely giving presentations or having interactions with teachers in university. Definitely a pain point that i can no longer afford to ignore.
And as you pointed out- it gives me much solace on recognizing here that I'm not the only one!!
As a 22 yo myself, I'm also going through the same thing. I can barely have normal conversations, let alone a college presentation. It's tiring...
I’m 21 and never really gave it much thought, when in reality, I’m in the same boat as you guys. It’s a sad realization, but a good one.
23 here and get exactly the same feeling. It’s very nice to know I’m not alone in this struggle as it seems like all my peers from the same program are thriving and I vomit word salad in every professional setting or like you said, just with people i respect
23 here, highly recommend therapy from personal experience , it’s a great way to work past that frustrating disconnect of weather you are expressing yourself clearly. Working with someone who is trained to get you to connect your words with how your feelings in a way that really resonates has been v healing personally. Even reading psych self help books is nice. If you can’t find or afford a good therapist.
You hit the nail on every single head. Nails I didn’t realize were even sticking out.
Seriously, I wish more people my age (23) and honest more people in general, had this same perspective on everything. Language is so important it’s tied very heavily into our spirituality and psychological understanding of ourselves and the world we live in. The story behind the words, the experience attached to words both personal and shared, they create everything we are. The arts are also a form of language, aiding to communicate what we can’t with words, another layer of expression.
Thank you for posting this stuff for free and for everyone to see.
I have observed this issue as well. It’s important to acknowledge that communicating effectively is a skill that requires practice, a solid vocabulary, and control over your tone and body language to communicate the message you are trying to say. Words actually play less of a role in communication than nonverbal communication does because we are emotional creatures. This means recording yourself, practicing in front of a mirror, and asking your friends for feedback on your audible tone are all extremely useful. As you said, slowing down what you say and willingly pausing to find the words is also just as important, because it communicates that you value the information enough to think through how to say something, and what you want to say. Charisma is usually not something people naturally have, and usually it’s something we have to train
Charisma is a TH-cam channel that I love and it helps with communication!
I feel like if I dwell on the exact word that I’m trying to say, I forget what I was even thinking about. It also causes a break in the fluidity of my speech which makes it come off awkward, which locks me in when it occurs.
I wonder about this, but what if you are constantly ignored.
I wish to express myself clearly, but if I pause, others take the discussion away without waiting more than 10 seconds.
Because of that, I'm constantly trying to rush to get my words in, even if majority of the meaning is lost.
@@4thofjuly395 I hate that, I just disassociate from the conversation after that.
A large vocabulary to draw from shouldn’t be a necessity.
I have that kind of vocabulary in spades, though it’s a detriment for me socially as much as it is a boon. I’m often perceived as condescending; just for speaking as I do naturally.
Being autistic, I don’t think tone and body language ought to have so much weight ascribed to them. There is so much room for ambiguity and misinterpretation - and I’m pretty sure allistic (non-autistic) folks often make the same pitfalls we do; but tend to prioritize saving face over pure information exchange - meaning they’re less likely to clarify misunderstandings with each other.
I’m also somewhat hesitant to conflate clear interpersonal communication, an unambiguous good, with professionalist poise; considering how articulateness and diction have long been weaponized by white supremacy against minoritized and impoverished communities. We all deserve to be taken seriously, regardless of the means through which we communicate.
I’m also fascinated by historical instances of gripping oration from people who never once learned to read - such as the Wyandot chief Kandiaronk, who apparently on the topic of human rights talked circles around even the most pedigreed Catholic missionaries.
Literacy in the written word is no requirement to be intellectually vigourous.
TBH I think most folks living on the street, and people living with literal brain damage, learn to be conscientious of themselves in relation to others in a way that many bourgeois assimilationists lack any frame of reference for. Even without eyes that see, one can develop blindsight.
I went to rehab and I was there for 9 months. Having no social media, interacting with people on the daily, attending meeting where we had to speak in front of everybody on a podium, and the constant wisdom being fed to us helped me greatly at opening up and speaking clearly and having more charisma. Before this I related with what was said at the beginning where I felt like I could not voice my opinion clearly. It also has a lot to do with mindset and reducing the anxiety and fear of speaking one's mind. When you speak freely you feel amazing and liek you have nothing to hide, and that you can connect on a much deeper level with everybody in your life.
I can definitely see this with my students from different generations. I've taught middle school, highschool, and college. I can see the youth really struggling to communicate their thoughts appropriately and clearly. I say appropriately because it seems like the lack of a filter online is starting to creep into the way the youth thinks they should speak in the physical world. It's incredibly sad to see the huge decline in baseline vocabulary. I do miss having good conversations and not having to figure out what some of the new terms are... I recently moved back to teaching at a trade college and I almost forgot what it was like to have real conversations. I've been surrounded by the youth and I have felt like I have been juggling chainsaws trying to keep their attention as a teacher. It's awful trying to compete with social media. I'm most grateful for my students that are 40 and older... They are so understanding and I love the way they communicate. It's been nice listening to someone tell a story and not hearing, "yaaaas queen slay!" Or some other random saying from the latest tik tok. 😂
what up gang gang, mm ice cream so gud! yeah you would have to immerse yourself in that world, and I think you could gain a better understanding of what you're dealing with, that being said I probably won't touch tiktok ever unless I have a monetary incentive. tiktok always filters it's way down to me eventually anyway. I think people are destined to reinvent the wheel to describe a vibe or idea or feeling, time and attention is valuable whether they realize it now or not and they inadvertently behave in such a way when information is so vast
I also feel like parents nowadays talk less with their children and thus children and teens nowadays have a smaller vocabulary. Many teens and children are starting to say that they "have no friends" which only further prevents them from engaging in coversations and thus expending their vocabulary. I think it is quite concerning
@@Givebackthescarf"I used to be with ‘it’, but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I’m with isn’t ‘it’ anymore and what ‘it’ is seems weird and scary. It’ll happen to you!"
-Grandpa Simpson
Language is fluid though. You say prefer proper English instead of what ever the kids are saying however none of us these days speak proper English and are always going back in fourth between using new terminology while also using words that are considered ‘standard’ English.
sounds like youre just out of touch, at least on the language side of things
I like to describe the difference between Verbal and Non-verbal thinking as Linear vs. Non-linear. When you put thoughts into words, you are obligated to choose a sequence for your ideas, since they cannot all come out at once, and that sequence has to describe the relationships that all of the parts of the idea had with each other. It's really quite an amazing task of translation, to have complicated ideas in your mind get squeezed out through the small tube of your mouth and then somehow arrive intact.
Then you'll also be taking in account of the other person's understanding this adding a smaller 2nd tube
💯
I’ve been trying to speak my mind and been frustrated with my inability to properly do so for quite some time recently.
The truth is that you need to generaly try to talk more. Reading books or learning new words might help but, as you said, we should focus on expressing ourselves more rather than consuming more information.
We tend to listen more than create new ideas and it may lead us to adapt someone elses whole conclusion rather than make our own because we only need some of those points to agree with ours because we can’t fully complete ours. Basically opening a way for some to manipulate, control or influence us (without us noticing)
That’s my opinion.
I’d like to add that I’m very thankful for your video. It brings relief knowing that someone else has the same problem. You described it very well here.
One trick I have with homeschooling my kids is oral narration after every reading vs writing it down. They have to put the information their brains just processed and form a narration using their own vocabulary and sentence structures. I always reiterate the benefits of each sibling conveying the same information in different ways. It shows the beauty of different learning styles, the way they view different senerios, and how they approach a conversation. So keep this in mind for yall who are trying to find your speech pattern goals. Everyone learns and expresses themselves differently, and that's a strength!
this is genuinely a good tactic, and due to inflated class sizes in public education, something that even publically educated children can miss out on- there's not enough time in the day for the teacher to make sure every single kid has the space to not only try to articulate their thoughts out loud, or even get a chance to read things aloud outside of specific classes like literature or poetry- but that all has a very different cadence to it than speaking about or even reciting non-fiction language.
in the information age, we have a lot of opportunities to learn how others express themselves and thus how to express ourselves in turn, but especially for youngsters who haven't yet realized that a lot of their favourite content makers online are using a script or do multiple takes, if they don't see how the sausage is made, they're going to become rather self conscious when they can't seem to speak off the cuff like some of their favourite video essayists or entertainers who might only be a couple years older than themselves, or try to imitate them to the exclusion of other types of speaking styles because other forms of speech are just less prominent in their spheres. When, in previous decades, most of the time there was a very clear delineation between speaking styles even in mass produced media like television and radio- it was way more clear what was scripted, what was organic, what was intended to entertain, and what was intended to inform. That shifted as I was growing up even in television in the late 90s, 00s and even 10s with the rise of reality tv and stuff that was obviously fake and scripted and intended to entertain, but sold itself like it was true or 'gritty reality' and now with the freedom to produce whatever you want to online, that blur between seemingly extemporaneous, casual language while talking about reality that wasn't really common in decades prior is often an artistic choice- one that really works and helps folks learn new information- but can leave younger folks not learning to codeswitch as fluently when *everything* is delivered in that same tone, with that same pool of vocabulary.
Im a millenial and I have a stammer sometimes- i have adhd and a *lot* of trauma from growing up ND in a neurotypical world, as well as general social abuse and CSA happening to me when I was younger. I never had trouble articulating myself as a child, but when I got older, I clammed up due to being repeatedly scolded or laughed at for conveying my thoughts and having it be wildly different to my neurotypical peers, and Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria - which is totally a thing that Neurotypical people can experience just to be clear- in ND people causes a physical sensation of pain or discomfort. it's wild. So I very much lost some of my confidence in speaking. I did alright in university when it came to writing papers, but I was so on guard after the trauma of high school that it made what otherwise could have been competent presentations to class a panic-inducing clumsy nightmare.
So that is all to say- starting your own kids out with a really healthy relationship to speaking their thoughts aloud, reading different material aloud with different intentions for information conveyance, I think, may help them a lot in the long run- in the same way that raising kids with a healthy, curious attitude to food-as-fuel and food-as-joy, will help their bodies stay nourished and their minds less likely to be plagued by disordered eating like anorexia and guilt all through their lives.
I love this. thanks for the tip!
Totally so!
in Iran we call it "dictation" and it's part of the Farsi literature curriculum since 1st grade. I've never been more grateful for a difference in methods to cement knowledge.
That sounds like a great idea!
Laughing like a maniac in my room b/c of how many people ALSO have and noticed this problem, AND are doing similar things to combat it. Inability to form your own opinions on things, difficulty w/ articulation and expressing your thoughts, etc; I feel crazy validated knowing it's not just me w/ these issues. Your analogy w/ not having enough colors to paint a meaningful picture is spot on. Journaling, reading more, and actively consuming content as opposed to passively doing so on autopilot has really made a difference for me.
Haha me too. I’m glad we are all going through this realization and becoming more
self aware of what is happening to us.
Maybe don't call it "consuming" as well
I’m 24 and a military linguist, I can understand Korean now at a college level, but I still only speak at like an elementary school level. One thing all my classmates and I always complained about is that the high level talking that was being required of us to do in a foreign language was stuff that we couldn’t even talk about in English. It’s not that I can’t translate my thoughts into Korean- it’s that is no thought to translate at all. In order to get a higher score on my speaking test, I have to explain and defend my opinions on a variety of topics, but it’s hard when I don’t even know how to form an opinion, much less translate it to a second language…
Quite literally what this video is about, but it’s been a problem that I could feel but couldn’t explain. Thanks for giving me the words to do so.
I felt humbled by this. When you talked about cutting and pasting and the importance of internalizing ideas before being able to communicate effectively, I realized that I was asking someone to effectively speak about experiences they never had. I dated someone who never had the same experiences or had the chance to internalize the same thoughts. How do you deal with the loneliness of having a larger box of crayons in a relationship? When it's just a matter of people having a smaller box of crayons, if they've at least seen or felt the things you have, it registers in their eyes when they hear you speak. Even if they don't say much their eyes will speak instead. When they haven't been through something similar, you're just met with a very blank expression.
Hey Joseph, As a tutor of English and a father of five GenZ children, I must say that this is by far the most profound, insightful, and helpful video I've seen in the past 40 years. Yes . . . I'm old, but I know things, and now I understand things better through your explanation. I've just had my 16 year old son sit with me and listen to your oration. He can truly identify with what you said, and it's helping him to rethink his communication skills and improve his self-confidence.
This was 20+ minutes of jumbled word salad 😂
@@mvito39 Perhaps for some, that's true, but for those of us who experience this issue on a daily basis, it all makes perfect sense. I teach ESL students and have found that I have had to modify my speech to be broken and slower so that my students can have time to translate what I'm saying in their mind and understand me. This has worked well for my ESL students, but I find that people who speak English fluently are impatient and get annoyed, so I must modify my speech patterns for them. Moreover, my children think before speaking. I know . . . it's a rare disorder. Yes. My children think before speaking and, when they do speak, they utter the most profound comments. However, while in school, the teachers wanted to label them retarded . . . sorry . . . "learning impaired" because they, my children, didn't just open their mouths immediately and spit out whatever mental flagellation they were programmed to say. I've had to take my children out of school because it was dumbing them down and robbing them of their sovereignty. It's quite difficult being a fully thinking human being in this modern-day world.
@@mvito39why? Do you have any actual criticism?
Ahahahaha you wanna make your credibility well known eh?
@@Lucidtundra You seem to be a joker bot?
Reading and writing have helped me immensely with my articulation. I started reading again at the start of this year and I've also started journaling my thoughts. By simply doing those two things I've noticed that I've become much much more articulate. I've also actually started to think before I speak, it sounds weird but most people just spew out words on autopilot. It takes me a little longer to get my sentences out, but they're much more accurate and precise.
Being able to verbally express your ideas makes you a killer out in the world, people just natural pay more attention to you and take you more seriously when you have what seems like a natural ability to mean what you say and say what you mean.
Yeah this anecdote really holds true with myself, I’ve started writing down thought trains and different things and even just putting down some emotions on paper has helped my speech
I think a big part of spewing words on autopilot is being afraid of pauses to stop and think in fear of being looked at like they're stupid and the fear of losing their space to talk, so everybody uses filibuster to buy time to finish their thought.
same huge difference
I’m an 18 yr old who was battling with this thought for months-probably a year or more. I feel like I’m getting dumber and dumber as I “grow up”. I’m so glad I found this video because I didn’t know others could actually understand what I’ve been going through. I’m currently taking Public Speaking in college rn to challenge myself and get out of my comfort zone. I get soooo nervous when it comes to speaking, because I don’t know how to convey my thoughts into words and keep a person hooked. It has ruined my confidence, and this is pretty ironic because growing up, my mom and others said I should become a lawyer because of how I articulate my words. But now, I’ve gotten way less compliments on how I’m speaking. I use to be so confident when it came to debates. But now when an English professor or any authority opens a debate for the class, or just any debate setting, all of my thoughts go away, and all of a sudden I don’t know how to defend an argument. Hopefully I start growing. And I pray those who are also struggling with this will be able to overcome this battle with me
Learning to be able to read a book, then making reading into a habit can help with this pretty dramatically. It's much easier to articulate what you're trying to say when you've got a pretty broad memory bank of other people trying to articulate similar thoughts and feelings. The intuition is something that can be developed through effort, like muscles in a gym.
I am 21 years old, Gen Z, community college drop out to work after a year and I have felt this so much lately. My ability to explain my thoughts or feelings or even form thoughts that I could understand myself is so limited. I can’t even write this comment with ease, I can hardly put my thoughts into words. Ive been in the gaming world for a few years too so you can imagine my vocabulary is even more horrible. My vocabulary is severely limited and lately I’ve felt so frustrated not being able to communicate effectively. I am definitely going to try and increase my vocabulary and try and read so much more because I can’t keep going like this.
I’m in the same boat. I feel as if my brain has been deteriorating since I started gaming at a young age and when I began using social media.
Find a balance with gaming alongside bettering yourself. Do not beat yourself up either for it, a lot of us are in the same boat. You got this! It takes time and practice.
Jordan Peterson's Maps for Meaning and Self Authoring courses are fantastic for giving you a framework in which to start. It helps you organize your thoughts, get a better idea of who you truly are, and improve your writing/communication.
He has been a somewhat controversial figure lately, but this is from before all that and is his magnum opus in my opinion.
Also read books that are hard for you but are enjoyable, don't rush, really let them sink in.
@@crispybatman480 thank you so much for the advice 🙏
@@subconscii the specific games I play, I don’t play a game where you read dialogue, I play a moba game primarily or games like animal crossing, where yeah there is reading but it’s not made with some beautiful poetic or thought provoking sentences. And in terms of games where you talk to teammates, everything is said in shortened slang words, I don’t know if you know but gamers vocabulary is literally “rip bozo” “L” “deez nutz” like… being around gamers and being one myself is not enhancing my vocabulary whatsoever 😂 my problem is not speaking to others, I have plenty of confidence in that with growing up in team sports my whole life, it’s more that I struggle with finding the right combination of words to convey my thoughts or feelings.
I get what this guy is saying in the video but please keep in mind - Just because your vocabulary is large, doesn't mean you would know how to use it properly. Expanding vocabulary is great, but also basic psychology to understand why others behave the way they do (like Napoleon complex for example), and building basic critical thinking skills and recognizing fallacies will help you much more and you will learn new words along the way too.
For example, if your PE teacher says "cookies and ice cream are good for you because I said so as your teacher", you have to recognize the appeal to authority that the teacher is trying to present to you in order to articulate the argument that 'just because you're an authority figure, it doesn't mean you're correct about cookies and ice cream being healthy for me'. Just because they know about fitness, doesn't mean they also know a lot about nutrition. Same idea can apply to many arguments in the real world that are much more complex. This guy's video is a great start but it's not the full picture in my opinion.
Thank you so much. I've noticed my own lack of clarity when speaking, and I want to improve my clarity of speech to better communicate what I actually think. I will definitely practice and really extrapolate the values that you've stated in this video to expand my vocabulary, take more pauses, record myself, speak slower, speak with intention, read more, and further output my thoughts on certain topics. Time and time again, I've noticed how limited my vocabulary is in my everyday speech, which seems to limit how I'm able to express my thoughts.
this comment summed my entire problem.
Facts bro I can’t tell you the amount of girls I lost for the way that I speak I either speak to fast or I stutter or just don’t know what to say in general I’ve also been struggling with corn addiction I sometimes go 2 weeks with out watching it but I can never break a month with out watching it It never used to be like this during COVID I lost all communication skills I’m slowly getting back to how I was it’s a process
@@javviiithink of it like this, 5 years of progress in self improvement, or 5 years of regret.
1 year of bettering yourself or 1 year of continued corn usage, remember there are side effects to your health if you continue.
Do you really want the next five years to be just like the last five?
bro teaches chat gpt how to comment
@@javviiiif you have nothing to talk about, you need new hobbies.
Thank you so much for making this video!! I've always been struggling with vocalizing my thoughts out loud. It always feels like there's a thick wall of fog in my head and a lot of the time, I think there's something wrong with me. It's really nice to know that I'm not the only one having these issues.
As for GenZ, I think we were born in an era when everything in life has become so convenient and easy that people started to create their own issues, making basic things like communication or relationships a hurdle. We might not have to struggle with famine, pandemic or war as much as our ancestors or recent generations did, but we are facing an internal war within ourselves and in society.
This comment reached a deep part of me. It's oddly comforting but also unsettling that so many people are going through such a similar experience.
The internal war will lead to the creation of external problems later on that this generation and the next will have to battle. It’s a cycle of life.
I'm very grateful that you took the time to think this through and articulate it so well. You're doing both generations a great service ❤
After periods of deep isolation and content consumption, I noticed a drastic drop in my oration skills. I think video content, in this style/format specifically, is actually the biggest offender because we adopt a passive role in a conversational setting. Our mind doesn't have to formulate responses expediently, if at all. You touched on this a bit with your input/output sentiment, as well as your copy/paste of other opinions point. 2-way communication is perhaps our most important ability, and we've been letting it atrophy with content consumption.
I’m 28, so technically a millennial, but this issue has been a theme in my life over last decade and for me it IS my greatest struggle. Most people in my life think I share my thoughts well, but within my inner experience, that delta between my actual inner state and what i can get to come out my mouth in huge. Not being able to articulate my thoughts (esp as someone who loves to share their thoughts and ideas more than anything) is what I can only describe as a torturous intellectual constipation lol. Only recently have I considered that this is something that is not too late to improve and that I can develop.
Intellectual constipation should go away little by little as you mature and learn to focus, but it is surely a problem that has been had by many humans throughout history so you’re not alone. It’s a part of the human condition.
Are you by chance an infp?
@@g_5083 I'm not the same person, but I am and also face this challenge on a daily basis
@@g_5083is this an infp thing? now i’m curious (as an infp who has this problem)
what you described is me I feel so bad when it happens
This is absolutely true. And I think bilingual/multilingual people struggle with this a lot. Not only because we don’t put on practice the usage of all of our colors. But sometimes we do have them, but instead of having them as crayons we have them as, let’s say, watercolor. So we are aware of what we are lacking in the language we are speaking in yet we cannot still fill that gap.
Another thing I’ve noticed in my personal experience with this is that, as a performing artist, the talking slowly and clearly tip is kind of tricky for me because I know that I can easily do that, but as soon as I come back to my day to day life, I speak so fast that is not even understandable what I’m saying. And I really struggle of being present and being aware of it as I’m having a typical conversation. So I think that’s what I would have to work on the most.
Thank you so so much for making and sharing this video. I hope to remember all of this to also improve my ability to put into words what I do want to say and come back with good news ahahaha.
So, im 20 years old, and ive personally found that when i was in school, i was so fluid with my communication with other people and didnt stutter much. Now that ive been out of school for 2 years, ive found myself stumbling over my words more often than not. That, and my vocabulary really has been smaller and, thus, ive had a difficult time just having a normal converstation because i havent been able to get stuff across. Its been an interesting experience. Seeing this video made quite a few thoughts and experiences click with eachother and, now, i actually have something to define this... happening. i guess, for lack of words. Really awesome video that i didnt know i needed until now. Many thanks.
This is why our parents used to go to Toastmaster. It was (is?) a global network of these weekly/monthly classes that taught people how to speak better and gave them the chance to do so on stage, with constructive criticism too.
I think Toastmasters needs a Gen Z revival.
that sounds amazing
No i will not go to your reddit meetup. You can do the same thing with people
@@BASEDHITLORLOVER14n88 ??? 😂
The problem is, just the act of going to toastmasters is extremely daunting for someone who has issues with meeting new people / public speaking
@@TJ-ck3fp I agree, it’s daunting, but not impossible. Everything worth achieving is daunting, but if someone backs away from what would benefit and grow them as a person just because it’s daunting or uncomfortable, where would that leave them? Empty and unfulfilled. I think that’s worse.
If someone has issues talking to others, it’s all the more reason to go! Problems are meant to be overcome, not avoided :)
This guy will be on a TED talk one day
Edit: I realize that TED talks aren't all that great now, I was not trying to insult him. This guy is bringing awareness to something I have been searching for a while. Being able to think, write, and speak fluently are all things I am striving for. I look forward to see where this journey takes everyone!
No doubt.
Hopefully not, in my opinion Ted Talks are too structured and manicured and mute the impact of the speaker’s experience.
@@atl3630 It's more about the platform than the comprehensiveness of the message, I think.
@@atl3630 your opinion on him doesn't quite matter as much as you might think it does, many of us would love to see him be on TED one day
@tedtalk
Really enjoyed your video man. I'm 26 years old, and have been active in public speaking since I was about ten, bringing devotionals and, later on, Bible lessons to my church. And then for the last year-and-a-half I've been fairly active preacher. Through all that, one thing that I have noticed that I still struggle a lot in my day-to-day life to articulate my thoughts most of the time. Yet, when it comes time to bring the Bible lesson or a sermon, my thoughts and articulation become much more synchronized. All of that to say, in my experience, building a deep understanding of what you are trying to talk about, as well as just working at becoming comfortable talking about the subject, goes a VERY long way in aiding the ease and clarity of discussion. As you brought up in your video, knowledge on a topic does not mean you will be effective or efficient at conversation, however taking time to contemplate and meditate on the information you gain as you learn it, as well as learning to have confidence in your knowledge and understanding does help significantly. I think this is really just a restating of some things you brought up in your video, but that's just a snippet of my personal experience. And of course that experience is built as much on the implementation of what I have found works, as it is built on repeated failure when that time and effort haven't been afforded to whatever subject was at hand.
Thanks for your outputs Joseph, i definitely resonate with this predicament of not being able to think and communicate effectively in conversation. Its definitely affected my self-esteem and your channel is a reminder of the importance of effective and skillful communication and how powerful exercising output to process, retain and communication information amd ideas is!
Parenting obviously has a big impact on a child!Children that don’t get attention or their parents talking to them enough will result in anxiety and lack of ability to communicate effectively! I’ve seen it in myself, I was severely neglected and ignored growing up which caused incredible panic inside me when speaking to others. Thankfully I’m better now as an adult. I still am awkward and really shy around certain people though. I’ve personally seen it so many times, the difference in children. It’s so important to talk and do things with your children as much as you can.
My mom was an alcoholic and I actually ended up moving out at 17 my junior year of highschool because it ended up being too much for me to handle. She would always say things like "I don't even actually love you, I only care because of your dad" and my dad was always quiet and would be pretty harsh and not have an understanding for emotion because he was too closed off and throughout school I struggled alot. Ended up trying to be a class clown and I just ended up being annoying and so I just started being quiet then it got to a point I wouldn't talk to anyone, not even my friends. I wish I was raised to be more social. Now I work at a damn grocery store trying to figure my life out and go to college while I work on my social skills but it's hard because now I'm having a hard time not being high on weed all the time. Been sober the past 2 days and only because I technically have to because I'm too broke to buy more. I still feel super anxious and stressed out about what other people are thinking at work and such. On my break right now and still stressing. At this point this is my therapy session I'm sorry lmao
True. Same for me. But it has nothing to do with Gen Z. I am millenial, same feeling. We lack attention because of our Electronic devices and social media, it's all too fast for our brains and has nothing to do with age, i have the same problem from attention because of social media. We unlearn how to be social and whatever you are an introvert or not (i am an inteovert) we need socialization for pur health.
i think the factor for Gen Z for not speaking and thinking Cleary is that the feeling of "we must respect everyone's thoughts" that they almost don't question what the other person's saying because it fits into their ideals. Speaking against it or having a discourse will have people speak against you like calling people vile names even though it doesn't fit into the narrative. This causes people to keep in their thoughts to themselves and shut themselves in so they can fit into society. Furthermore, people have to go outside and communicate with people. I've realized that people spend almost a quarter of their day using social media communicating with their online friends. However, I'm also a guilty of this tbh but I do not own a smartphone, and this helped me tremendously (I'm 17 btw). I've seen students getting an A+ in their language subjects but can't even convey their thoughts clearly and stutter halfway in their sentence. Keep in mind, That this is just my opinion...
This is an excellent point in my opinion!!
@@selenathesparklycabbage :)
You’re so right! I’m 23 and I agree. But people needa realize they can speak their mind without being disrespectful and ppl are still gona get offended.
@@laylajackson99 2023 program gg
As a millennial I will say, age helps with this. You reach a point where you start valuing your thoughts and opinions above those of other people. You don’t have to be insensitive. But you have to acknowledge when others are being hyper sensitive.
I usually never comment on videos but I had to say something. thank you so much for this. everything you addressed in this video is something i’ve been personally struggling with for a long time now; being able to put my thoughts so clearly into written words but nowhere near as much as when i’m verbally speaking, and i have a major disconnect between my inner self and the person that i am on the outside to the observers. added on top of the fact that i have social anxiety and a major lack of social skills and experiences in the first place - even when i am not necessarily feeling socially anxious and i *am* in a comfortable environment, i still lack the abilities to express and present myself as i desire to and mean to inside my head.
when you mentioned us being on autopilot 90% of the time; that is something i immediately understood and i think it’s part of why this in particular is such a huge and easy problem to have. my brain processes information slowly. i need extra time to perform what is commonly considered simple tasks. in public social situations, or even social situations with my closest friends, it is hard for me to say exactly what it is i need to say and get across properly without using the wrong words or swapping out words in a hurried state. and this is something i’ve noticed about myself more as of recently. for example, whenever a stranger says a simple phrase like thank you, have a goodnight, have a nice day, etc. rather than defaulting to a typical response like you’re welcome, you too, have a nice night, i pause for a few seconds involuntarily, almost like it catches me off guard, as my brain immediately is scrambling for what specifically to say in return, and is processing the information in such an “instant” manner, i usually fall short and end up almost not saying anything at all in return to the other person. maybe you could just chalk this up to basic social anxiety and lack of social experience, but i personally believe it is more than that. and i’ve known that for a while now.
this video has done an excellent job at perfectly articulating absolutely everything i have had issue with the past year or so into words. usually, whenever i try to watch or listen to a video like this, i get sidetracked halfway through, completely losing the flow of information and getting confused trying to understand what the other person is explaining. but this is the first video in a long time where i have genuinely had no issue following along with *everything* you were saying. i felt like you just understood everything i’ve been meaning to say and spelled it all out for me instead. i can tell that you have put in time and effort to better your speaking abilities and, although i don’t know you personally, in what ways you have intricately experienced this or to what extent you’ve viewed it as something to work on and improve, it seems you have done an incredible job with it so far, just in how confident and clearly you seem to be speaking in this video. even with every pause and word-stumble; it’s not as if these are “flaws” or things to be fixed, but rather a natural and given part of the human brain and function.
thank you for this video. you are very, very inspiring. the crayon box analogy made more sense than anything i’ve read or heard in a long time. i will keep this video with me for a long time and i hope i can come back to it in the future when i feel more like i’ve gotten closer to expressing myself accurately. 🩷
Hi, I just wanted to thank you for your wonderfully articulated comment. It resonates with me on a deep level, and I'm glad I'm not the only one experiencing this dilemma.
Bro, thank you so much for making these videos, My biggest insecurity as a person is the way I express myself, even though everyone I express this insecurity with says "you express yourself fine." They don't understand that it's not about the inability to communicate with others, it's about not having enough crayons to paint an accurate picture with my words. That was such a great analogy. Simple but made so much sense. I look forward to more you your content, please don't ever stop!
would you like them to not tell you that you express yourself fine?
I'm not a GenZ. I'm 40 more with Ph.D. in science. I have high-Ed diplomas in two distinct languages. Neither can I speak or think clearly. What you said resonated with me. Thank you for saying things I wanted to say, but don't know how to say it.
Generation X
1965 to 1984, both years inclusive.
@@traditionalfood367 Gen X is 1965-1981
@@Pink_pr1ncess
"A generation is not a period of media influence. A generation is a reproductive period of at least 20 years lest teenage pregnancy be encouraged."
Boomers are indisputably born between January '46 & Dec. '64.
Millennials are born on both sides of the millenia change, otherwise they're not Millennials; a k a Gen. Y born 1985 to 2004, both years inclusive.
Wow! I have always wondered why I have had such a challenging time turning thoughts into words… there are some points in your video that I have never pondered before!! It hit home when you mentioned that thoughts are not only words but pictures, feelings etc.. It seems at times I have a very high understanding of an idea but I have an impossible time articulating that. Or what you said about therapists helping people paint a clear picture of their issues through words.. so many great points here! I will have to watch this again 🙌🏽
holy shit dude you just defined every single thought and worry that I have had about my own communication. Especially about trying to represent my own intuitions and feelings with words. Writing clearly is something that I'm really struggling with right now (even in this this TH-cam comment) Sometimes I think I've got the wording right and then I try to write it down or say it and it doesn't make sense, but it makes perfect sense in my head which combines words and lots of visuals too. And it's true I've noticed it about other people too. The amount of times my friends (and I) have tried to describe a feeling or a person and just give up and say "you know what I mean." And normally I do know, but it just leaves room for error and miscommunication and it leaves things unsaid when maybe they should have been said.
As a person with synesthesia I loved your analogy of colours as well.
Either way this video was so beautiful and so valuable, imma go binge watch a bunch of his other videos now!
As a traumatic brain injury survivor I have really been working on my speech through therapy and communication with endless medical professionals. This especially resonated with me. Thank you.
Joseph, I cannot tell you how refreshing this video is. The last 30 mins went by so fast because I was entirely captivated by what you were saying and how you were saying it. It makes me motivated to improve my own speech and language.
I'd like to share a different viewpoint (my personal experience if you will) on this idea of building our vocabulary. I play piano and have done so for over 15 years. Whenever I get stuck on a learning difficult part of a piece, the most effective way to overcome it is by slow, deliberate and repeated practice. Practice is not enough, you have to break things down and focus on individual notes (analogous to individual words in language) one at a time. Communication, just like music, is a skill that we can improve on by slow, deliberate and repeated practice.
I greatly appreciate your presentation on this important issue. I have been an Adjunct Professor at two art colleges over the past several years. I was called out of retirement earlier this year and noticed more communications issues in the student's papers. Aside from a lack of mastering basic 6th Grade grammar, the thought process and work usage was awkward and confused.
Many of the points made here explain the reasons for these problems. I am considering showing your video to my students in the upcoming semester to help them come to a greater understanding of how their writing and verbal communication needs to be improved upon. Since today's college students are supposed to be preparing to fill positions in society, one of the first things that they should have mastered by the time of graduation is the skill of effective communication. Unfortunately, many complete Terminal degrees without this skill, some even making it to the PhD level. This is how we have devolved.
This is wonderful. I feel that this is an issue that many of us realize within ourselves, but have trouble processing and finding a solution to.
It's fascinating how something as simple as slowing down our speech to allow our brains those extra milliseconds to articulate a thought more clearly changes not only our tone, but our lexical focus. How many times have we stopped typing a message to contemplate a more tactful term?
Personally, I find myself stumbling over a sentence while I'm speaking, only to require two more equally as jumbled sentences to hopefully clarify the first enough to get some semblance of a point across. It's like carpentry; measure twice, cut once. It creates a much more refined finish that enhances your intuitive approach, clarifying with specificity. With enough practice, it becomes natural and precise.
I have been pondering about this idea of a lack of clarity in my speech as well. I became very aware of my speech recently when a professor noted that I used many filler words during a presentation of mine. Since then, I have become more fixated on my lack of communication skills and would like to work on improving them. Your thoughts put into words what I have been experiencing and made me feel heard. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
I am 22, but have avoided almost all social media except TH-cam and discord, two platforms that struggle less with communication issues. This has made me realize something. I have always struggled to articulate to my roommate, who does spend time on TikTok and other apps like that. I think the reasons we struggle are two-fold. One is because my own vocabulary is fairly limited. I’ll admit that right from the start. I think the other is because he attaches different meanings to words. The difference is slight, but significant enough to matter a lot when it covers such a broad range of our vocabulary.
One of the issues you cite is the intrusion of more and more profanity used as a figurative replacement for proper nouns. Words that name things has been the foundation of language.
@@RayPointerChannel I don’t use profanity actually, and neither does my roommate
Thank you for your ideas and the care that you put forth to convey them. Much value here!
After realizing my problem with communication, I’ve started to take a step back, and allow myself to think, just for myself. I want to learn based off information gained and experienced. So stepping back to form words has become so, so, so helpful.
Love this. I also think we are running out of low stakes social environments (related idea; "3rd places", or places you go besides work and home) to playfully develop our language. Now we go to work, the store, then home. Hell, it's looking more and more like we'll just be home. Sometimes I find myself in a social flow state after a few hours in one of these environments.
One of the meta-skills when it comes to learning is that you should train as closely to the final environment as possible. When you're learning how to drive you don't just sit in class, you get in a car and drive it.
I think we need to create these environments for social development.
The “It” 3rd place social environment is not likely video games, yet we seem to gravitate to them. While they are inferior to personal interaction (if they are played online and physically separated), they do offer the 3rd place sensation in spades. They are also not for everyone though but it depends on the game. I think when everyone is working towards a goal like winning the match it could increase social cohesion. There are still many arguments and factors to be considered when it comes to using the internet as a replacement for in person interaction, too.
I agree with this especially in America. I went overseas to Morocco if u don’t know it’s very similar to Europe and France as it was occupied previously. They have no parking spaces only human spaces. A very social and demanding kind of environment
I’m so thankful that my parents encouraged me to read a lot as a child because I am now able to speak and articulate my thoughts well with little to no effort.
The way you approached these situations really helped me understand where my lack of satisfaction when speaking to people comes from. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with us
This video makes me feel so seen. As someone whose 23 and having to relearn a lot of topics I was blind sighted by, it’s good to know with continual practice I can get better at communicating the ideas I want to express in an eloquent way. Ty for your time and the video, found it super helpful.
This is something I noticed myself struggling with recently. Part of it for me, I think is dealing with mild anxiety and withholding myself from speaking a lot i.e to myself or people sometimes. The short form of consuming information is also something that has contributed to it. It really became apparent when I had to speak about topics that I felt I had quite a bit of knowledge on during presentations and interviews and I just find myself stumbling over my words and having no real direction in what I’m trying to convey. I’m still looking for the solution but I will definitely start recording myself more and reading. Awesome video man!
I’m about to turn 21 in a couple of days and I can say, I really admire how mature the thoughts you express are. I’ve been seeking to increase my vocabulary, as well as improve the way I share my thoughts with others. I’ve always struggled with sharing the thoughts I have with others and like you said i’m very capable of writing a good paper, but I feel my lack of vocabulary has set me back far too many times. I appreciate the video and can say that I’m glad there’s people like this who can see all of these things and are working towards getting past them.
I think social media has a huge impact on all of this! We aren’t seeing people face to face as much anymore so we don’t have to talk as often or have to go out to meet new people. So we aren’t practicing communicating as well. I noticed I had a severe decline after a few months I spent mostly on my own and was using social media/texting as my main form of communication with other people. I feel like it has come back or at least a lot better now that I am steadily talking to people in person again.
I truly think we are using something that we have no idea about and will have huge consequences for all of us. Not even in the “robots are taking over the world so let of way. Just look at my generation. You can already see the difference
I find myself struggling with this all the time and I’m a millennial. I often watch videos from maybe the 60s and think, why don’t we express ourselves like they could back then? With such smoothness and clarity? This video was very eye opening!
Thank you so much for making this video. I have had this problem for as long as I can remember, but I‘ve never been able to figure out why, because I don’t feel I lack the requisite vocabulary to express myself in writing. This video (in particular, your slow speech rate) helped me identify what my main problem is: I rarely allow myself enough time to find the right words when communicating orally.
Have heeded some of the advice you gave towards the end of the video - allowed myself to speak more slowly, recorded myself - and man, I’m only a few days in and the results are already tangibly positive. The ideas you expressed here were very simple / intuitive to understand, but I suppose I just needed someone to convey the message to me clearly enough to actually take it to heart. I really can’t thank you enough.
Thank you so much for making tthis video. This is a concept that I've been pondering a lot myself and (quite fittingly lol) have been struggling to articulate. Something that I've been doing recently to improve my ability to communicate my thoughts has been to take video diaries. This was a natural progression from traditional journaling as well as audio journaling. As an introvert, I tend to keep a lot of my deepest thoughts to myself, so I am not often talking out loud to many people. Something I found interesting about audio and video journaling was the benefit of being able to clarify how I am thinking without even needing to go back and analyze what I was saying retrospectively (a benefit I link to writing thoughts down or typing them out).
Simply the act of forcing myself to say what I am thinking out loud naturally helped me figure out what I am thinking, which then led to a natural motivation to research, read, or consume of other forms of media to learn more about other perspectives to further clarify my own point-of-view. I believe this may be due to what you touch on about that intuitive feeling that appears when you recognize that what you're saying out loud doesn't quite align with your internal thoughts. This practice trying to align what I say out loud to what I feel inside has really helped me develop my sense of self and consequently, facilitated my journey towards self-improvement, self-acceptance, and self-love.
I think that in our modern society, we are constantly bombarded by so much information, opinions, thoughts, feelings. This is augmented by an alarmingly increasing sense of loneliness and lack of intimacy in society. Paradoxically, we feel alone, so we do not want to be alone, but this leads us to feeling even more alone. For when we are surrounded by too many people, too many ideas that are not our own, we struggle to develop that relationship with self. Everything is so loud that we cannot even hear ourselves. We cannot listen to ourselves. How can we relate to others if we cannot even relate to ourself?
I'm a former teacher (credentialed k-8) and also worked with adults learning English as a 2nd language and the best was to improve vocabulary (you mentioned) is to READ. It also improves focus & concentration. Read topics that interest you, it doesn't need to be dry boring topics you don't care about.
Please do more of this. I’ve struggled for nearly a decade articulating this. This video made me feel at ease knowing I’m not alone.
You must not be an intellectual being if you’ve felt you were alone in this dilemma.
I love that this is provoking me to capture my thoughts and to learn to express my experiences, in whatever way that is, as an antidote to the constant consuming of experiences without output
Thank you for making valuable content. I’ve felt this for a while and struggled with the shame of having to pause during my speaking. I am grateful to know I am not the only one. I like hearing you process your own thoughts while you speak. It’s authentic.
Also it’s ironic that you say “I think” this or that… you KNOW it. You’re ahead of the curve.
I love this!!! I love that the pauses and search for the correct word was left in. Felt natural
THANK YOU, THANK YOU! It was meant for me to run across your video at this specific time. You nailed it!
Very well said and great points. I was surprised to hear you're only 21! We have access to a plethora of information, but we not only lack the wisdom on how to apply it appropriately, we often simply lack the drive or focus to think about it. Never in the history of the world have humans been exposed to so much information at one time; I almost think that this ADHD mentality that's on the rise, is like a self-defense mechanism to help us check out in order to cope with being innundated with more information than we can process. I think the first step to taking back our minds is to step away from all the content and distractions that do not serve to build us up.
A note about speaking quickly: I'm a Millenial but my sister is Gen Z. When I began spending time with her friends in my mid-20s, I found that if I wanted them to listen and hear me, I had to speed-talk. I had 7 seconds before their attention was gone. Just another symptom of this digital age. I'm trying to unlearn this habit now.
Too much input is a problem. Meditation can solve this problem.
I’ve also noticed how quickly people want to interrupt your speech, could very possibly be attributed to their habituation to short-form videos and it deteriorating their attention span.
@@blindyoutubeuser I agree, but I think there's even more to it than that. Not only have attention spans shortened, but memory. People are often afraid they're forget what they want to say if they don't say it right away.
@@Lalalauren1117 i thinks its more becouse the topics change very fast,if you want to say what you want without it being off or forced a way is to try to force yourself in the conversation Aka cutting people off.
also,not everthing should be attributed to being a attentions span&memory problem,that simplifies why someone does something...
@@KURENANI I certainly didn't mean to imply those are the only reasons. I used the word "often" because that has been my general experience. Many people have told me they're afraid they're going to forget what they want to say if they don't interrupt to say it.
It feels comforting to listen to you seeking to express what you actually think and putting into words the vast metalinguistic complexity of this topic. I really admire that, and I think everybody should try to improve in this aspects because I find it extremely important to output all this magnificent complexity that we all have inside our minds and which is begging to come out.
Entire video is on point. Especially love the points of having information but lacking wisdom, as well as speaking quickly and compromising clarity for speed, obsessed with capitalizing the silence. I have noticed all the same throughout my own experience, as well as observing others.
Other than reading and journaling, one of the things that were most helpful to me were "deep" conversations with friends (often when we are drunk HAJD- but not only). We all are able to listen to other people and give everyone time to speak their mind; this way it's easier to talk slowly and really think about what we are saying. With time, this helped me thinking and speaking more clearly. Thank you for the video btw, this was very interesting
i am mind blown by how good you were able to verbalize and rationalize the ideas you have in this video. especially at 18:23 where it resonates with me so much because it really answers why I'm not able to live by a certain set of rules I am striving to set for myself even though I know that it's true (able to intellectually understand it). Like you said, I have to arrive upon an idea/philosophy/way of lfie to be able to practice it consistently. The output/input way of thinking about this is also a super useful tool in making you a more clear and articulate person whose able to communicate almost clearly how they feel/think about a certain topic.
I just discovered your channel and let me say, the way you speak, so precisely and elegantly, is like listening to a musical piece. It evokes a sense of artistry that I really admire!
i love this! i had always been self-conscious re: frequently pausing as i spoke. i'm autistic & adhd so poor word recall and getting tongue-tied are frequent
i was surprised that others viewed me as being intentional and thoughtful when speaking - like i never just talked to talk. now i know why i get everyone's attention when i do speak up! its thru speaking w. intentionality that when i choose to chime in or add comment, i'm always heard! 😊
Totally agree with you. Coming from a place of recovery, reading has been vital for me understanding and affirming thoughts I have that seem unclear to me. Having conversations where you’re trying to listen more that you speak, understanding others wisdom more than trying to prove your own has helped me a lot. As a counselor, I help people speak their thoughts out loud. Often the thoughts between your ears and just that, chaos in your mind. You have the navigate listening the worlds input to chose your output/next move, not focus so much on the noise between your ears.
This was an amazing video!
You hit on topics that I have struggled with and couldn't find anyone on TH-cam who addressed these important issues regarding why communication fails. And how we can be better communicators.
This is a concept I don't hear getting discussed enough. You did a great job conveying your thoughts, and bringing insight onto this topic. I am definitely going to bring more attention onto this day to day in my own life.
I rarely watch a "talking to camera" type video that is more than a few minutes long, unless it's a tutorial. I have watched and enjoyed all of this video. I have also posted to my Facebook page.
The journey we all just went on is itself an illustration of the problems of spoken language and how to convey our thoughts and feelings. You did get your thoughts and feelings across even if at times you were unsure of yourself. You have done a fine job in covering this subject in the 30 minutes. I look forward to seeing your other videos.
It's especially difficult for me to get a verbal thought out there because I have ADHD. Sometimes I'll pause and forget what I was saying, or forget a word, which is frustrating. I'm not sure why this happens, but I figure it's attributed to ADHD. I get distracted. It's embarrassing when I'm talking to someone. I don't have anxiety when I talk to people, in fact I'm sociable and love to engage in conversation! And I'll admit I write better than I speak, because when I write, at least I can pause and think of the words however long I need to. Can't do that when you're face to face with someone.
I'm exactly the same, I have ADHD and it really affects my ability to converse, verbally and written are both challenging for me, especially when writing an email in a work setting that requires a professional response, I can take an age to find the words and then when speaking in person whether that's on the phone or face to face I find it hard to be ahead of what i'm going to say so the words just come out and then I can't find a word or I just stop as I get so confused and then finish it but I envy people who can play with words it actually irks me when I hear articulate people who pause and play with words because of the frustrations I feel because that has not been within my realm of imagination. And your symptoms are attributed to ADHD, it's because it affects our executive function and our working memory, so we are not able to hold information for long before we forget so we have to get it out as quick as possible hence why when I speak I am short and to the point and people think i'm quiet or shy but that isn't the case it's just I can't express myself so well and speaking face to face with someone is hard as looking in someone eye's then distracts you from what you are saying or being able to take in what they are saying as you just look at their eyes and don't know what is being said
I’ve had this feeling for awhile, it’s almost normal to have a manic search for the right words, because sometime somewhere we heard a concept clearly articulated, yet it’s just out of reach in our memory. So our cognitive ability gets overwhelmed and anxious
I am really screaming silently at how insanely accurate your statement is. Bro, the feeling you are describing is "not understanding something". I find it incredibly shocking that you aren't able to connect the inability to explain something that you don't really get but you feel like you almost "get it". I'm sure you realize everyone has that feeling sometimes. When you understand stuff, you can break it down and explain it to others in your own words. If you can't do that, you don't understand it.
@@rw5622
I've seen this a lot in college students in the last few years and also my teenage brother who watches youtube many hours a day.
"Man, I totally know all about this, if only I could remember they said it in that one video"
They don't actually understand the subjects they want to talk about at all, but will try to speak authoritatively because that's how popular youtubers speak
This has always been false. If you *have* to be able to verbalize something to understand it, basically every person I've ever met who's been good at anything must have secretly been a dumbass.@@rw5622
@@rw5622Exactly. I hated to admit that I simply couldn’t explain how some things worked because I did not understand how they work. I understood what I could recognize-nowadays I notice college students think that having a loose idea of an idea’s OUTLINE is enough to fully grasp the subject material. As for this video, the author shows the same tendencies as the very people he talks about!
Putting a topic with this depth is hard for relatively new channels. You clearly passed that threshold point. Keep it up brother.
I agree that we have become highly focused on getting more information but don’t spend enough time to put our thoughts into the subject.
Thank you for not putting adds in between. Great content gentleman 👌
This is what uni students like I need. This guy channel is exactly what I need. I have searched the internet for long. as a uni student in a highly selective uni, I have flunked a lot cuz of low articulate thoughts, and 'cannot express my thoughts clearly' to my classmates+potential friends or even cannot think/plan clearly to help myself. Or I often cuss (in my head and in my mouth) instead of think. bro, it is enlightment.
You made a great point on pace of speech. This is something I’ve negatively developed through years of isolation (throughout COVID) and non stop doing TH-cam. The pursuit of a high audience retention and not wanting viewers to leave has led me to develop insecurity in my speech with others and increase my pace of speech, outpacing my mind. Which furthers the disconnect you spoke of. This is something I’ve thought about before plenty, but luckily I finally found someone with the right color crayons to illustrate it. I appreciate this video a lot. Subscribed, and I’ll definitely be checking out your others.
Hey HawksNest bit off-topic but I love you.
When I look at my parents, they articulate themselves so well. My siblings and Ion the other hand struggle to convey our emotions and thoughts in words. This probably has a lot to do with technology and how everything is being dumbed down in my opinion.
Yes exactly. My parents speak so fluently like they can keep talking and talking and keep an interesting conversation for hours it seems like
🎯🎯🎯
@@crazy-iq-genius3840So what does the name Crazy IQ genius mean to you? You listen to Lil Baby and call yourself that? 😂Jesus.
We speak now worrying the judgement of others, being too heavy or ignorant, not real enough or pure depending on the trending mood, now we have nothing, we don't do our best because we want the safety of accepted as we are 1st. Learning from youtube and tv actually made me get ahead as a child because I never thought of who I am when absorbing it, instead of thinking my moral compass will let me avoid x and z if I put everything to the wind, because that's so special. Thinking about whether you are supposed to react to this or that or let it sink in to feel it really slows you down. Especially since we're trying to appear empathetic. And trying to preemptively account for others that might misinterpret your words also slows you down. We could have poets that move our hearts to feel whole, or a speech to believe in, we really are missing out on heartfullness, even though we say we can live without it for safety. There doesn't have to be some grand universal meaning to a simple act of lending help to a granny and that doesn't demean it's genuiness anyso. But don't we want to see the extents our hearts can go and wrap the actions of our lives in a nice blanket, to carry a feeling to keep us going to the next step, to feel sympathy when it comes and avoid being a jerk at all. maybe simplifying our language to communicate and be in with others but now we say nothing at all.
I'm just a gen z that's losing faith for being seen as cold and trying to act in the safety of others minds, not trying to make them think too much and walking around them. Waiting for the chance to be myself or be shown something better.
Edit: from the comments it also seems like we can't see a set 'system' we can go along with or step up from, like a really official and professional essay to higher up professors in suits. It's easy to pretend we're in some fancy parliament where things actually matter or a mob, or a higher up in business.
We can explain but we cannot say what we need to affect. We assume if don't keep a certain wool over the eyes that it lessens our effect like we can't assume or we can't instill good nature. Or if we don't use raw emotion in the right place we are unoptimized. Or if we're trying to push for raw emotion to be enough.
You are the channel I didn’t know I needed, thank you for explaining this in a very digestible way. I have struggled with my words aligning with my thoughts for so long and I thought there was something medically wrong with me!
Same 😢
I think what often separates good from bad speakers is whether they think their thoughts with language or just with thoughts, basically having an internal monologue. The way an animal would think would be without language and just a logical process of ideas and imagery, some people think like this and they only ever have to exercise their language skills when they have to speak. When you think in words not thoughts your practically in a constant state of learning how to structure words, as if your constantly rehearsing for when you do speak.
This isn't a bad hypothesis a priori, but my existence is evidence against it. I'm pretty well spoken, and have been widely acknowledged by others as being especially articulate. both in speech and written language. But when my internal thoughts are more often mediated by visual imagery than by language. There's a meme about shape-rotators vs wordcels, and i definitely fall into the shape-rotator camp.
Although i do spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about how to translate my thoughts into speech for future use, so there's probably something going on there.
My existence is also evidence against it, as I think with language and have horrible speaking skills.
Unlike the other two commenters, my existence supports your hypothesis. I tend to fall into the trap of trying to describe what I'm visualizing in my head, and end up elaborating excessively with no clear logical order. It feels like I'm trying to paint with my words.
I like this a lot. I am going to try to think with words more
Yes this has been proven in research
17 year old here, I've always been annoyed at how awful I was at expressing my thoughts to other people, and I feel like so much potential has been wasted because of it. I have been thinking about this over the past year, particularly about how different I am when I'm by myself in the "pondering state" vs debating state, (or most social environments) and I've always believed that once I could figure out how to be "by myself me" all the time it would solve so many problems.
I haven't heard anyone else talk about what you did in this video, it's a bittersweet feeling because I'm delusional and convinced myself I was a minority for these ideas
Thanks for this video. This isn't a subject that you see addressed too often and you've given me something to think about.
Ah, a like minded long-thought person. Thank you so much for the time and effort you put into making this video. Topics such as this are ones I crave to dissect and discuss, but rarely am graced with someone who has the patience or inclination to ponder with me. I usually am talked at, not to or with. And when I do speak I am usually scolded for taking too long or being “rude” if I am too blunt and concise, or scolded for not taking part in the conversation at all. To use an over-used cliche, I usually fall into the “damned if I do, damned if I don’t” category when it comes to actually speaking with other people. A lifetime of that does not promote an abundance of self-esteem or confidence.
I'm sorry you experienced that. People can be cruel. If you want some unsolicited advice, communication is a very important skill that anyone can develop. If you are struggling with self esteem and expressing thoughts clearly, don't give up, keep trying.
Yes the lack of understanding that comes with not actively pursuing ways to improve our vocabulary is something I’ve noticed among my peers and myself. Being used to default surface level expressions influenced by tiktoks or influencers sometimes severely limiting the connection you feel with someone. I agree that more public speech and reading would certainly help remove some of those limitations this ages media bombardment has cast upon us. Selecting information useful to you and implementing it instead of passively consuming anything to store somewhere deep in the brain and bring up in shallow conversations.
I hope I expressed myself with clarity
I’ve been struggling with this for a long time. I can put my thoughts into writing very well through poems, journaling, etc.. but I have a difficult time articulating myself verbally. I think I have beautiful thoughts to share but who’s going to take me serious reading from a piece of paper. I loved this video thank you for the sharing this with us .
This was one of the key reasons behind debates at university. It wasn't so much the ability to develop an argument - that was a factor - but rather the ability to accurately present your ideas amidst the chaos of accumulated information.
You are absolutely spot on. I'm a male English teacher (32) and have struggled with this myself to this day. Yes, I've gotten better, but I am always wanting to improve. Others in the past have said I articulate myself well--and sometimes that's true--but I intuitively know when I am not 'in the zone,' so to speak. Being in front of 12-18 year olds on a daily basis is a real help though; over time the uncomfortable moments become less frequent while the moments of articulating something well become more frequent. To state the obvious, it certainly helps when you are (1) not winging it and (2) know what you're talking about.
When it comes to Gen Z--and Gen Alpha!--I see the exact same thing happening. Typically, when they are beginning an assessment and are feeling clueless (and afraid that their work won't be perfect immediately), I sit down with them and say, "Just start talking to me, it doesn't matter how it comes out, it doesn't matter how it sounds at the moment--just talk to me, I want to hear what you're thinking." This works every time. Everyone needs someone more competent than they are who guides them through their thought process. You also need to give them the time and space to think and speak in front of you (can be tricky as a busy teacher, but not impossible). Once they start talking they eventually open up and ideas create even more ideas. I don't care if they don't have the right vocabulary or conceptual grasp yet, it's about them doing the work of grabbing the mental clutter and ordering it.
I hasten to add that the students who do well are often able to hold a sustained conversation with myself and other adults--more often than not, they are reading much more than other students as well. Your illustration with the coloured crayons is actually perfect. Mark Edmundson in an interview on YT titled "Why Read" (CSPAN Booknotes, 2004, timestamp 42:43) quoted a scholar and poet (R. P. Blackmur) who spoke about reading and writing and new words and metaphors as "increasing the stock of available reality." That's exactly what we all want. We want to perceive, understand, and commnicate as precisely as possible, but you can only do that with an ever-increasing set of coloured crayons. So, go and add more and more and more crayons.
Nobody reading all of this 😳
@@h3cz_I did.