You know what, I have always thrived on praise. I also always berated myself for it, thinking it meant I was ‘relying on external validation’ or being shallow or vain or something. And I’ve been baffled that any compliment could switch off the bleakest head state like a switch. Thought it was bipolar or something. Or just a sign of inconsistency, weakness, a lack of backbone and integrity… how easily we believe such horrible undermining self talk. I’ve been sitting with this since I listened to it this morning, and I just want to say how much I love it. So simple to be validated, so freaking comforting. But also so exciting ! How easy to tap into motivation ! Makes me want to work and perform and achieve… look out world… lol
A little comment upon the “positivity” of VAST over ADHD. Some of us struggle over good food behaviours and weight gain. Being such a person who is sensitive about my increasing size, I would far rather have the unambiguous ADHD label than to call myself VAST! 😂
I would add to this is when people believe in me. When they give me big responsibilities, because they believe I can do it. I have done things greater than I ever thought possible! Loved this video! ❤️
2 days ago I self diagnosed ADD. 1 day ago I discovered RSD. Today I learn I can rename it VAST and pour my energy into praise and euphoria. Its been a roller coaster few days but I'm feeling great.
I suggest you get diagnosed by a professional, it's easy to misdiagnose as there are other conditions with similar symptoms. Even professionals misdiagnose, let alone self diagnosis.
@@crazygreenlady7907 I was pretty confident I had adhd. After seeking professional help I was diagnosed with: bipolar, adhd and autism. Sometimes it’s not as simple as one condition. I had no idea it could be bipolar but as soon as I started on mood stabilisers I felt so much better! After my adhd diagnosis, I started on stimulants and I feel like, for the first time in my life, I can function like ‘normal’ people do. Diagnosis was expensive, involved quite a bit of travelling to appointments and took close to 6 months but was the best investment I’ve ever made.
Day 3 of my “journey” 😮😊😢🤯🙌🏼🤗 I’ve GOT to speak with my son (13) & daughter (11). My heart breaks for them, learning what I have in these 72 hours. THERE’S SO MUCH HOPE & SOOO MUCH HELP 💪🏼❤ And so much to still study & learn…
I deleted a lot of people who weren't good for me. Including my parents. I run my own business, where I have jobs that last 3 or 4 days. The job aspects is great, as people are more tolerant of me being late, when it's only 3 or 4 days, compared to a boss who gets "sick of this shit". My partner is the most supportive person ever, and since I worked up the courage to start watching these videos with her, I am able to hear, and feel, compliments. For me, I've noticed, that compliments from people who I truly trust and respect (rare) sink in. It's SO hard to set up the environment, and I actually stumbled into it, if I'm honest Once you're there, it feels magnificent.
Everyone needs praise but being uncomfortable receiving it is just low self esteem. I used to get so embarrassed when someone gave me a gift. I think it made the people who gave me things feel badly because I was so uncomfortable. Even just a compliment would make me feel embarrassed.
I wish the audio quality was better. I can’t make sense of half of what the one guy is saying and I was really interested to watch this when I saw it pop up.
I really liked this presentation. So many even insightful videos still leave me at a loss. This gave me more than hope, which fades. This gave me a healthier perspective which I can see gaining motivation from, which I've needed for a very long time.
To my fellow ADHD people, an attitude adjustment. Rejection, is navigation. It keeps you moving until you find the place where you really belong. It prevents you shaving off the corners of your square peggedness to fit into their round pigeonholes. Find your passion, and you may find that creates a space for you with all the yummy recognition.
This helps me so much!! Like he said, I can now take this and recognize that I don’t have to stay in a state of shame and guilt. I learned early on to get away from the leeches because it really is true that it drains me!
My sister has ADD diagnosed. My mum not, but obviously now. It took 27 years of darkness, and in the middle of hell I found God. He was there all the time. It took another 4 years for me to accept that I can't do it alone without sacrificing my health and others close to me. I can do anything I want. Compose, athelticism, writing...geez I know finishing that list takes forever. I hated to say I'm intelligent. But since 3 months I recognize my struggles matching so seamlessly with ADHD symptoms, and through one conversation with my mum (which is rare) I accepted that I HAVE intelligence, BUT that doesn't make me smart. The shit that I held up in myself all these years. The intensity. I thought I was so blind that I self-diagnosed me as narcissistic, but in reality, intent, thoughts, practical and the response from my environment is "We are disappointed in you, because you showed us better, and then are lacking, and it seems like you don't care", which broke me over and over and over and over again. Not that it was noticeable when studying neuroscience msc after not opening a book before 21 and work my way up FROM NOTHING AND NO SUPPORT, when being sponsored in my sports, ran a company for 5 years with more than 100k+ a year a profit in psychology and healthcare with 6 psychiatric nurses working for me, learning to code in 3 months and now succesfull programmer (blockchain, engineer) that works as an ANALIST for the Gov while ex was pregnant, learned bach mozart chopin in 5 lessons of 30 mins over a period of 6 months EFFORTLESSLY, perfected Wing Chun within 2 years, became European Championship Taekwondo, teach statistics to bsc students on uni, played on national level football (KNVB, AJAX, FEIJENOORD), delved into the depths of my soul and mind and Spirit...GEEZ, I never stop(ped) improving, doing better and at least leave this earth a bit better then when I came and left it. Right now, I'm combining my statistical knowledge, pattern recognition, neuropsychological knowlegde that ranges from cell biology to collective consciousness and beyond to MAKE money. I'm a trader now and I'm also making bots. Oh yea, I was a CTO of a FinTech company and raised 600k+ in 10 days. I was miserable 99% of the time or dissociated or found ways to NOT deal with it emotionally, because the pain was unbearable and that it was in my own hands was confirmed every day too. Nobody was there. Until I found God, which is love, and self-love, which is not necessarily a feeling. So, love is a state. If it's your time and you meet me once I could answer SO many things about LIFE AND DEATH. But that's another story, albeit related to God. I know I'm spilling a lot of my life here, but I hope that if you read this and you did not find that hope based on the undeniable truth that YOU ARE DIFFERENT AND ARE IN PAIN, then I hope this sparks you with some recognition. Coz, I dont' care about any material thing in the world. All of my effort and intent is related from the small to the big. And not because I grew in that opinion, but because that's how I ACTUALLY function. Don't beat yourself up too much, you are a warrior experiencing life on higher and lower than average dimensions. You need love. Lot's of it. You deserve it. Fuck, I don't know what to say but to hold on and allow to be with love, which is accepting what is in you. Don't do it yourself. Hyperfocus on not doing anything when feeling BUT feeling. Let it rise and find where it's stuck, stay with God. Believe me, that's where the answers lie. I hope this reaches whoever needed to reach this. NVDL out
I told my therapist that we need to build the fundament of positive reinforcement but she kept exporing my RDS wound (of course no naming it like that) and it led nowhere so we split up. I was also told that labeling my impairment is of no use, I felt deeply misunderstood and ignored. IDDitude Magazine makes a great work exploring this hard subject and sharing the knowledge with people from all around the world. ADHD is very democratic, like depression -affects people's lives internationally.
I’m never validated since I’m no longer in school, I’m a widow and my husband was my major support. He wouldn’t indulge in flattery and he also never indulged in the cruel criticism the jobs and my family are so generous providing.
I find it helps me when I stop and give myself some praise, based on what my husband would say if he were here. I figured I might as well have my supportive husband’s voice and words in my head rather than my mother’s/ family’s voices bouncing around in there!
My hubs of 30 years was the other half of my brain - literally supplying the praise, confidence, structure and reasoning my head and heart needed to survive. Widowhood in the tangled web of ADHD is like a perpetual vertigo where trying to think, work and survive is exhausting and mostly hopeless. Hugs my friend 🤗
I've noticed that when i get praised, genuinely, by an authority figure, i rest on my laurels and stop trying. Maybe I'm worried i can't live up to that praise again.
Intrinsic motivation comes from feeling good about our actions for the own merit the action contains. Tasks that lead to a desirable outcome lead to intrinsic motivation. There needs to be a balance between intrinsic and external motivators when the motivators are not embedded in the tasks.
This was awesome to hear. I'm 46 and recently became aware of having ADHD, VAST, whatever you want to call it. I have been trying to learn all I can so far about this and this is the first majorly positive thing (to me at least) I have come across. So much confirmation in this discussion on what I've observed of my life at different times. Thank you very much for sharing!
Anyone knows what the book that they refer to is called? HDHD 2.0 perhaps? Balled my eyes out with this and the RSD video. Found them at the right moment. Had 2 incidences with good friends and a work related thing in a timeframe of 1,5 weeks. Was glad to learn about it and cognitively reframe myself. Still had to live through the feeling that my chest was crushed and the veins in my arms were torn out via my armpits though. Luckily I have a vacation coming up and friends that are beyond joy that I’ll be visiting them again. Hope the feeling has resided by then.
Encoragement for me is only effective if it's genuine/constructive. I am instantly demotivated by cheerleading. I would rather you provide constructive criticism than vacuous encouragement.
It's only effective if it comes from someone who knows what they're talking about, because what we're looking from is permission from an authority figure to be proud of ourselves.
Tip from person imagining accepting this idea. It must be specific. Vague praise just because you think we need it will feel condescending. I (we?) really hate that. The general "I know you can do it" does not make me feel good. But a gold star for good work is real, in fact a favorite early memory is a virtual gold star from my dad, on my forehead, pressed with his thumb till he knocked me over. 🥰
Some call it artists geniuses disorder, like that better? I do. If you are trying to make it in the 9-5 world then you will suffer. You need to find the thing you most love in the world (Barbara Sher's "Wishcraft" can help) because if you don't love it you won't be able to stick with it long enough to turn it into a successful career. Self employment, keep your own hours, work when you are focused. Become successful enough to hire people to do the stuff you suck at. Joseph Campbell's "Follow your bliss" is imperative, not optional with ADHD because only your passion, will get enough focus to stick with it long enough to be successful. I found my bliss as a mystic teacher, I am off-the-charts intuitive and I get sweet praise for my excellence helping people move past their emotional issues. Last winter I got a breakthrough in resolving PTSD, I found a simple way that people can erase their own trauma scars. It takes minutes to learn, seconds to apply. It is solidly Jungian, to be accessible to anyone. I am giving it away to the world, for free because compassion, and because I have learned that when you teach people to become happier, their gratitude is bankable. I was in my 20s when I set the big goal, make the world a happier place, now I am nearly 60 and have a viable plan. Teach everybody to clear their emotional traumas and those of others. I am starting a world peace movement to get the message out. "Peace on Earth, one troubled mind at a time" is the motto. ADHD passion is a gift to the world. We have purpose. ADHD people all have trauma scars, because the world is not kind, in its expectations. Kick the scars, get your power back, let your art and genius unfold unimpeded and see where it goes. kundalini-teacher.com/karma/retroprevention.html
People only see and praise the success or the successful, they don't or won't recognize the support structure that got them there, or all the bruises and splinters inflicted or prevented during the climb which likely also involved a bit of falling as they learned and improved. Each successful person is holding onto the very top branch of an entire tree, full of obstacles and supports and other people that helped them get up there to be recognized. Standing on the shoulders of giants and all that.
Some people just can't acknowledge or accept the recognition. Even when it's sincere and well-intended some people just can't believe or accept it. How do you propose this can be overcome? It does not seem realistic to think its possible for a person to just immerse themselves in nonstop praise to overcome the self-loathing. And it might be quite tiresome to those around that person.
I have ADD … not a kind that benefits from stimulants. Exercise is helpful, but n the last year I have had a huge task to accomplish, and I did it by rewarding myself with encouraging self talk. Also I will go over my accomplishments with trusted friends and a sister, because they reinforce the positive encouragement. If only This was understood from childhood for everybody.
I was just thinking about this yesterday that how much some funny aspects of my personality is totally dependent upon me being super sensitive and triggered by very small things. I've been told that "I'm the type of person who says what everybody see's but nobody says" and that sometimes results in laughter. I think i'm very dependent upon my RSD for that.
Why do people like us have such serious problems/difficulties with this blasted brain problem? What was the “original cause” of these brain issue(s) difficulties & differences? I hear you talking about these leaches, Ech, what’s that? Oh yeah, being & feeling stuck is a very accurate description here. have to comment or I’ll loose my chance to get comment there.
Really don’t know exactly what to say with all that I’ve been going through. I’m sick of the many issues I’ve been told I’ve definitely got. ADHD, now just found out the next 1 is emotional dysregulation, probably something else too that I can’t think of rt this min. Just gonna listen. But am growing tired of all this info but not getting any correct/personalized treatment that I need! Now I’m in my 60’s! This is pushing it. 😑🙄😭
I pray the Lord renews your strength, & all who are feeling beyond weary, beyond frustrated, & heavy. May you look to Him & receive new hope & life. In the name of Jesus, amen 🙏🏽
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:05 🎙️ *Introduction of Drs. Hallowell and Ratey and the topic of ADHD energy and motivation.* - Doctors Ned Hallowell and John Ratey discuss the lesser-explored aspects of ADHD, including euphoria and energy. - Introducing the concept of Recognition Responsive Euphoria (RRE) as a positive aspect of ADHD. - Mentioning the importance of creating an environment that supports individuals with ADHD. 04:53 🧠 *Understanding ADHD as Variable Attention Stimulus Trait (VAST).* - Proposing the term "Variable Attention Stimulus Trait" (VAST) to describe ADHD. - Emphasizing the need to recognize ADHD as a trait with both positive and negative aspects. - Discussing the importance of managing and harnessing the energy associated with VAST. 16:52 🧭 *Recognizing Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) and its impact.* - Explaining the concept of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) and its negative effects. - Highlighting the significance of naming and acknowledging RSD as a step toward managing it. - Mentioning medication options like guanfacine (Intuniv) to reduce the impact of RSD. 19:42 🧠 *Understanding the Default Mode Network and its role in ADHD.* - Introducing the Default Mode Network as a key brain network involved in ADHD. - Discussing how individuals with ADHD often struggle with mind-wandering and rumination. - Exploring the potential for shifting from Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) to Recognition Responsive Euphoria (RRE) with the right mindset and encouragement. 25:56 🚀 *The Positive Side of VAST (Variable Attention Stimulus Trait)* - ADHD can be seen as VAST, not just a disorder. - Many successful individuals have VAST traits and benefit from encouragement and support. - Building on strengths and pursuing interests is essential in managing VAST effectively. 27:42 🧠 *Unlocking the Daemon of the Default Mode Network* - Exploring the role of the Default Mode Network (Daemon) in motivating people with VAST. - Praise and criticism can influence one's engagement with the Default Mode Network. - The importance of creating positive and supportive environments. 29:36 🌟 *Focusing on Developing Strengths* - Emphasizing the development of strengths rather than fixating on weaknesses. - Encouraging individuals with VAST to pursue their talents and interests. - Highlighting the resilience of people with VAST due to their history of overcoming challenges. 32:33 💪 *Nurturing Resilience and Positive Thinking* - Discussing the importance of resilience and positive thinking in managing VAST. - Encouraging the creation of environments that promote encouragement and positivity. - Recognizing the transformative power of hope and motivation in driving success. 35:12 🤝 *Seeking Encouragement and Connection* - Emphasizing the role of encouragement and connection in managing VAST. - Removing shame from the lives of people with VAST and embracing their uniqueness. - Highlighting the potential for personal growth and self-discovery throughout life. 38:51 🌅 *The Transformative Power of Positive Feedback* - Exploring the impact of positive reinforcement and praise in motivating individuals. - Acknowledging that motivation often starts extrinsically and can evolve into intrinsic motivation. - Encouraging parents and teachers to provide extrinsic motivation when necessary. 42:04 🧘♀️ *Cultivating Acceptance of Positive Comments* - Addressing the challenge of accepting positive comments for some individuals with VAST. - Advocating for an education process to help individuals recognize and embrace positive feedback. - Encouraging open discussions about the need for positivity and encouragement. 46:05 🌟 *Pursuing the Seemingly Impossible* - Sharing a personal story of embracing a seemingly impossible challenge. - Highlighting the transformative power of attempting and achieving the seemingly impossible. - Encouraging individuals to stay in the game of life and keep pursuing their goals. 49:10 🧪 *Exploring Emotional Swings in ADHD* - Addressing the question of why emotional swings occur in individuals with ADHD (VAST). - Seeking a medical explanation for the emotional fluctuations associated with VAST. 49:38 🧠 *Understanding ADHD emotional swings* - ADHD individuals often experience intense emotional swings, going from high energy to deep lows. - These swings can happen within a day or even an hour, triggered by positive or negative events. - Learning to control and balance these emotional fluctuations is a significant challenge for those with ADHD. 51:17 🧲 *Neuroimaging and ADHD-related emotional sensitivity* - FMRI scans can show the brain regions involved in Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). - RSD can be recognized through changes in the default mode network in the brain. - Mild euphoria related to ADHD hasn't been extensively studied using FMRI yet. 52:40 🤔 *Distinguishing between ADHD and bipolar disorder* - ADHD's emotional fluctuations, including euphoria, can sometimes be mistaken for bipolar disorder. - Bipolar disorder involves prolonged manic states with severe symptoms, whereas euphoria in ADHD is transient and motivating. - A thorough evaluation is needed to differentiate between the two conditions. 55:40 💊 *Effect of ADHD medication on pros and cons* - Properly used ADHD medication doesn't diminish the positive aspects of the condition. - Medication should enhance the ability to channel creativity and manage daily tasks effectively. - If medication causes undesirable effects, it can be adjusted, switched, or discontinued. 57:54 🙌 *Positive impact of ADHD awareness and diagnosis* - Late ADHD diagnosis can break negative cycles and provide clarity to individuals. - The discussion sheds light on the upsides of ADHD, fostering understanding and self-acceptance. - Gratitude for the awareness and advocacy efforts in the ADHD community. Made with HARPA AI
When it actually counts. Here’s what I mean: For example when a person with VAST/ADHD completes a specific but very important step in a project, it’s on the encourager to know and recognize the importance of that step so that the praise given will be seen as authentic. Don’t worry if you mess up in some way the experienced VASTer will know you meant well. By the way, VASTers are quite hard on themselves meaning they are less likely to be narcissistic so be targeted with your praise cause they’ll smell inauthenticity right away but don’t be hard on yourself if 1 out of 10 words of encouragement fall flat.
The difference is that a person with ADHD will accept and embrace the credit/praise for their specific part of the project or endeavor, and recognize everyone else's effort as well. Whereas a person with narcissistic personality disorder (or maybe even just subclinical) will feel entitled to more praise than the actual portions they have contributed.
I’m interested in the idea of it really being more about recognition than praise. So for instance, even when someone has failed in some way, it should ideally be possible to acknowledge why they struggled, recognise the effort, and frame the feedback in a way that tries to avoid blame and offer support. I think when people offer praise that doesn’t seem entirely sincere or justified, rather a superficial attempt to bolster in some way, that it doesn’t feel particularly meaningful. There can still be that sense of not being properly recognised that I can find quite dissatisfying, often patronising and in fact the internal response can be to feel that even though praise was given, rejection was what was truly justified or meant. Neurodiverse people should be able to face reality, own their successes and failures just as well as anyone else, but we need to work more on developing the tools and communication strategies that will allow that to happen, especially for children.
In my humble opinion: Praising and supporting anyone for their great efforts and achievements is a good thing. Believing they can do better is a good thing. Even narcissistic people should be treated fairly. Giving undeserved praise to anyone is a bad idea. ADHD person can tell an undeserved praise from genuine. A narcissistic person will crave all praises, no matter how undeserved and disingenuous. So, being authentic at expressing genuinely deserved praises, gratitude, and the potential you see in someone is the answer. You can't miss with seeing the good in people.
@@xinaesthetic I'm sorry but saying neurodiverse people should be able to face reality is like saying people with cancer should figure out how to treat themselves for it.
I never have any energy or euphoria... Basically I have hated life my entire life. Got dx with ADHD at 47 years old.... life sucks and now I have a defective brain too
Sorry to hear that. The gentlemen here dispute the "defective brain" part. Your brain can do things other "neurotypical" brains cannot. Every. Day. What kind of things have you accomplished with your atypical style of rolling through life?
@@bananian you can’t restart your life however you can use all of your collective life experiences to learn from and propel you towards your new life🙏🏼💗
Dear Fifty Something, I am 74 and I am so relieved to find out I have a typical type of untypical brain!!! It explains so much of the rotten part of my life. I can stop beating myself up and stop labeling myself as a failure and accept the fact I survived and I learned so much along the way. Also, after I completely melted down, I was relieved to discover Prozac worked wonders for me.
Does anyone else resonate with this present and also feel immune to "platitude praise"? I feel insightful and direct feedback deeply, but i find the generic encouragements insulting and undermining. Wondering if thats a personal quirk or related trend
Personally I find the RRE (elsewhere - Acceptance Sensitive Euphoria) as debilitating as RSD. Both states are exaggerated examples of normality. Both lead to shame. Both lead to dysfunction. Both are uncontrollable and untappable. Both are useless as anything other than a rapid drain on energy, resilience and patience. Here's the problem with "RRE". Speaking as someone with the emotional dysregulation associated with ADHD. These are flip sides of the same coin - RSD and its opposite. The word opposite is important here. Thus - the opposite of Rejection is Acceptance and the opposite of Dysphoria is Euphoria. So - Acceptance Sensitive Euphoria and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria are opposites ends of the emotional spectrum. The ADHD means regulation varies from often available if a little unreliable to more or less absent entirely. Lack of emotional regulation in adults will often be hard to detect because the person learns to internalise everything if they grow up in/find themselves living in, a hostile, unsympathetic environment. If that happens in childhood, persistently, the person will have internalised almost every aspect of their true thoughts and desires and will then have problems in relationships being able to open up or knowing what they want. "People pleasing" often takes the place of self actualisation, being by far the safer option. "RRE" is misleading, because it disassociates it from RSD, which further complicates things. What's needed is an umbrella term for spectrum based emotional dysregulation, and one that preferably avoids words like dysregulation/disorder.
You’re offended by this? That’s the problem these days and why I don’t participate in ADHD groups. It’s all participation trophies and MUH FEELINGS 100% of the time. I have RSD worse than anybody and you fuckers discouraging both my whiteness and the way I speak truth is a big reason why
I LOVED this talk. BUT why are the American "colonizers" lauded here? This offends me, and I'm sure many others. :( (This is a talk I'd love to share, but now I can't and won't. Please think through these statements and consider your BIPOC audience and the fact that you've got a wide sphere of influence.)
The perspective presented here is interesting and helpful, but I think the material could have been presented in half the time or less. The speakers seemed to repeat their main point several times and I did not hear detailed recommendations for specific circumstances or interested parties. I was also left wondering about the danger of narcissism because the perspective and recommendations here could encourage extreme self-interest. Some people with ADHD/VAST have great difficulty showing appropriate consideration for other people and they inflict a lot of disruption and distress on those near and close to them. Training and encouraging them to further ignore negative feedback and only listen to praise may not produce the best outcomes.
Wow, your comment is very truthful and insightful. I've experienced harm from the self-centeredness that some with this disorder can fall into. They can hyper-focus on hiding their flaws and show an extreme lack of empathy to loved ones.
Misleading to compare ADHD to narscicism. adhd and narscisim are not the same thing save possibly at times appearance of selfishness, from the outside...., Extreme-self interest? Same as someone drowning, which is not pathologized. Based on the comments alone, I'd say most people are hurting and looking for answers. The methodology is not new, but the difficulty is feeding the "good" voice and not tapping into the "bad" voices..., especially from those significant others in one's orbit..., who are struggling to understand, ...perhaps someone like you?
Can I offer some constructive criticism? Need to provide more visuals. I got agitated trying to watch this. Where are the slides? Or the speakers? How can you give a presentation to ADHD people showing the same slide for 10 minutes? One of the speakers also needs their volume adjusted. I had to watch at 1.5x speed and then gave up. Also, RSD often makes the task of surrounding yourself with "family" "friends" who will give you praise a very difficult road to begin with lol. I also don't relate to feeling good about praise, it has to be deserved, and it has to be genuine, otherwise it is ridiculously infuriating.
Exactly!! Dr. Hallowell has used this analogy another time too, for example with Jessica at the "How to ADHD" TH-cam channel. I have ADHD and it's real, but sometimes I wonder about how ADHD is weaponized by white clinicians and patients: "Look, ADHD is great, it allowed me to colonize and succeed." Then when you give feedback: "I have RSD and don't need your bad energy. I need encouragement."
He probably meant colonists. It's funny how Polynesians who spread out to all the islands were adventurers, but Europeans who spread across the ocean at great personal risk are "colonizers." I believe he's speaking about the genetic concentration of people who take risks being more common in North America since just to get here voluntarily, one had to take the risk of living far from help if they avoided shipwreck. There are a bunch of viking genes in Northern Europe and England, but if one mentions that, it's not like you're praising rape and pillage. African tribes conquering others or going into dangerous areas to explore probably have the same traits. No offense intended by him, I believe.
@@OrthodoxInquirer Immigrants and refugees exist though, with all those same traits. It was a strange choice, even if he didn't intend to offend anyone
I’m terrified of praise and recognition. I’ve quit jobs because my performance was publicly praised. In fact, I prefer to be recognized by quietly giving me cash for my efforts. (private) Praise plus MONEY allows me to trust that the praise is honest. Otherwise, I assume someone is trying to butter me up in order to harm me.
I have often had this thought: I really don’t need any medicine for my despondency, but a healing word from a friend or stranger!
the Psalms like the 23rd - many people know and Psalm 139 - i am fearfully and wonderfully made. bible.
You know what, I have always thrived on praise. I also always berated myself for it, thinking it meant I was ‘relying on external validation’ or being shallow or vain or something.
And I’ve been baffled that any compliment could switch off the bleakest head state like a switch. Thought it was bipolar or something. Or just a sign of inconsistency, weakness, a lack of backbone and integrity… how easily we believe such horrible undermining self talk.
I’ve been sitting with this since I listened to it this morning, and I just want to say how much I love it. So simple to be validated, so freaking comforting. But also so exciting ! How easy to tap into motivation ! Makes me want to work and perform and achieve… look out world… lol
ditto… identical… cheers… enjoy the mind blowing and mind healing journey! 💪🏼🚀🙌🏼 #solidarity 👈🏼
A little comment upon the “positivity” of VAST over ADHD. Some of us struggle over good food behaviours and weight gain. Being such a person who is sensitive about my increasing size, I would far rather have the unambiguous ADHD label than to call myself VAST! 😂
I would add to this is when people believe in me. When they give me big responsibilities, because they believe I can do it. I have done things greater than I ever thought possible! Loved this video! ❤️
2 days ago I self diagnosed ADD. 1 day ago I discovered RSD. Today I learn I can rename it VAST and pour my energy into praise and euphoria. Its been a roller coaster few days but I'm feeling great.
I suggest you get diagnosed by a professional, it's easy to misdiagnose as there are other conditions with similar symptoms. Even professionals misdiagnose, let alone self diagnosis.
Maybe, a good first step would be to take "crazy" out of your user name.
@@SunnyGirlFlorida you could be onto something there!
@@crazygreenlady7907 I was pretty confident I had adhd. After seeking professional help I was diagnosed with: bipolar, adhd and autism. Sometimes it’s not as simple as one condition. I had no idea it could be bipolar but as soon as I started on mood stabilisers I felt so much better! After my adhd diagnosis, I started on stimulants and I feel like, for the first time in my life, I can function like ‘normal’ people do. Diagnosis was expensive, involved quite a bit of travelling to appointments and took close to 6 months but was the best investment I’ve ever made.
Day 3 of my “journey” 😮😊😢🤯🙌🏼🤗 I’ve GOT to speak with my son (13) & daughter (11). My heart breaks for them, learning what I have in these 72 hours. THERE’S SO MUCH HOPE & SOOO MUCH HELP 💪🏼❤ And so much to still study & learn…
I hate that I crave praise/recognition, but it makes me uncomfortable when it is received
Yes… so awkward. 🥴🥴🥴
Same here..😣
Relate
I deleted a lot of people who weren't good for me. Including my parents.
I run my own business, where I have jobs that last 3 or 4 days.
The job aspects is great, as people are more tolerant of me being late, when it's only 3 or 4 days, compared to a boss who gets "sick of this shit".
My partner is the most supportive person ever, and since I worked up the courage to start watching these videos with her, I am able to hear, and feel, compliments.
For me, I've noticed, that compliments from people who I truly trust and respect (rare) sink in.
It's SO hard to set up the environment, and I actually stumbled into it, if I'm honest
Once you're there, it feels magnificent.
Everyone needs praise but being uncomfortable receiving it is just low self esteem. I used to get so embarrassed when someone gave me a gift. I think it made the people who gave me things feel badly because I was so uncomfortable. Even just a compliment would make me feel embarrassed.
I wish the audio quality was better. I can’t make sense of half of what the one guy is saying and I was really interested to watch this when I saw it pop up.
I really liked this presentation. So many even insightful videos still leave me at a loss. This gave me more than hope, which fades. This gave me a healthier perspective which I can see gaining motivation from, which I've needed for a very long time.
To my fellow ADHD people, an attitude adjustment. Rejection, is navigation. It keeps you moving until you find the place where you really belong. It prevents you shaving off the corners of your square peggedness to fit into their round pigeonholes.
Find your passion, and you may find that creates a space for you with all the yummy recognition.
I enjoy your take on this !
Thanks for sharing this. Bit of a paradigm shift. Hope I remember it.
This helps me so much!! Like he said, I can now take this and recognize that I don’t have to stay in a state of shame and guilt. I learned early on to get away from the leeches because it really is true that it drains me!
My sister has ADD diagnosed. My mum not, but obviously now. It took 27 years of darkness, and in the middle of hell I found God. He was there all the time. It took another 4 years for me to accept that I can't do it alone without sacrificing my health and others close to me.
I can do anything I want. Compose, athelticism, writing...geez I know finishing that list takes forever. I hated to say I'm intelligent. But since 3 months I recognize my struggles matching so seamlessly with ADHD symptoms, and through one conversation with my mum (which is rare) I accepted that I HAVE intelligence, BUT that doesn't make me smart.
The shit that I held up in myself all these years. The intensity. I thought I was so blind that I self-diagnosed me as narcissistic, but in reality, intent, thoughts, practical and the response from my environment is "We are disappointed in you, because you showed us better, and then are lacking, and it seems like you don't care", which broke me over and over and over and over again. Not that it was noticeable when studying neuroscience msc after not opening a book before 21 and work my way up FROM NOTHING AND NO SUPPORT, when being sponsored in my sports, ran a company for 5 years with more than 100k+ a year a profit in psychology and healthcare with 6 psychiatric nurses working for me, learning to code in 3 months and now succesfull programmer (blockchain, engineer) that works as an ANALIST for the Gov while ex was pregnant, learned bach mozart chopin in 5 lessons of 30 mins over a period of 6 months EFFORTLESSLY, perfected Wing Chun within 2 years, became European Championship Taekwondo, teach statistics to bsc students on uni, played on national level football (KNVB, AJAX, FEIJENOORD), delved into the depths of my soul and mind and Spirit...GEEZ, I never stop(ped) improving, doing better and at least leave this earth a bit better then when I came and left it. Right now, I'm combining my statistical knowledge, pattern recognition, neuropsychological knowlegde that ranges from cell biology to collective consciousness and beyond to MAKE money. I'm a trader now and I'm also making bots. Oh yea, I was a CTO of a FinTech company and raised 600k+ in 10 days.
I was miserable 99% of the time or dissociated or found ways to NOT deal with it emotionally, because the pain was unbearable and that it was in my own hands was confirmed every day too. Nobody was there. Until I found God, which is love, and self-love, which is not necessarily a feeling. So, love is a state. If it's your time and you meet me once I could answer SO many things about LIFE AND DEATH. But that's another story, albeit related to God.
I know I'm spilling a lot of my life here, but I hope that if you read this and you did not find that hope based on the undeniable truth that YOU ARE DIFFERENT AND ARE IN PAIN, then I hope this sparks you with some recognition. Coz, I dont' care about any material thing in the world. All of my effort and intent is related from the small to the big. And not because I grew in that opinion, but because that's how I ACTUALLY function. Don't beat yourself up too much, you are a warrior experiencing life on higher and lower than average dimensions. You need love. Lot's of it. You deserve it. Fuck, I don't know what to say but to hold on and allow to be with love, which is accepting what is in you. Don't do it yourself. Hyperfocus on not doing anything when feeling BUT feeling. Let it rise and find where it's stuck, stay with God. Believe me, that's where the answers lie.
I hope this reaches whoever needed to reach this.
NVDL out
I told my therapist that we need to build the fundament of positive reinforcement but she kept exporing my RDS wound (of course no naming it like that) and it led nowhere so we split up. I was also told that labeling my impairment is of no use, I felt deeply misunderstood and ignored. IDDitude Magazine makes a great work exploring this hard subject and sharing the knowledge with people from all around the world. ADHD is very democratic, like depression -affects people's lives internationally.
Not only was she uninformed on ADHD, but also trauma. You don't need to explain the details of the trauma to heal from it.
I’m never validated since I’m no longer in school, I’m a widow and my husband was my major support. He wouldn’t indulge in flattery and he also never indulged in the cruel criticism the jobs and my family are so generous providing.
I find it helps me when I stop and give myself some praise, based on what my husband would say if he were here. I figured I might as well have my supportive husband’s voice and words in my head rather than my mother’s/ family’s voices bouncing around in there!
My hubs of 30 years was the other half of my brain - literally supplying the praise, confidence, structure and reasoning my head and heart needed to survive. Widowhood in the tangled web of ADHD is like a perpetual vertigo where trying to think, work and survive is exhausting and mostly hopeless. Hugs my friend 🤗
This was incredible!!
I've noticed that when i get praised, genuinely, by an authority figure, i rest on my laurels and stop trying. Maybe I'm worried i can't live up to that praise again.
Intrinsic motivation comes from feeling good about our actions for the own merit the action contains. Tasks that lead to a desirable outcome lead to intrinsic motivation. There needs to be a balance between intrinsic and external motivators when the motivators are not embedded in the tasks.
You both have uplifted me!! I thank you so much!! Vast is me! Plus you have hit it right on the nail! Thank you!
This was awesome to hear. I'm 46 and recently became aware of having ADHD, VAST, whatever you want to call it. I have been trying to learn all I can so far about this and this is the first majorly positive thing (to me at least) I have come across. So much confirmation in this discussion on what I've observed of my life at different times. Thank you very much for sharing!
I use "Bragging Rights" for my completed tasks now.
Anyone knows what the book that they refer to is called? HDHD 2.0 perhaps? Balled my eyes out with this and the RSD video. Found them at the right moment. Had 2 incidences with good friends and a work related thing in a timeframe of 1,5 weeks. Was glad to learn about it and cognitively reframe myself. Still had to live through the feeling that my chest was crushed and the veins in my arms were torn out via my armpits though. Luckily I have a vacation coming up and friends that are beyond joy that I’ll be visiting them again. Hope the feeling has resided by then.
Encoragement for me is only effective if it's genuine/constructive. I am instantly demotivated by cheerleading. I would rather you provide constructive criticism than vacuous encouragement.
It's only effective if it comes from someone who knows what they're talking about, because what we're looking from is permission from an authority figure to be proud of ourselves.
Tip from person imagining accepting this idea. It must be specific. Vague praise just because you think we need it will feel condescending. I (we?) really hate that. The general "I know you can do it" does not make me feel good. But a gold star for good work is real, in fact a favorite early memory is a virtual gold star from my dad, on my forehead, pressed with his thumb till he knocked me over. 🥰
I feel like anyone who has succeeded with ADHD has done so in spite of the disease. Not because of it. At All. It's absolutely miserable
Some call it artists geniuses disorder, like that better? I do. If you are trying to make it in the 9-5 world then you will suffer.
You need to find the thing you most love in the world (Barbara Sher's "Wishcraft" can help) because if you don't love it you won't be able to stick with it long enough to turn it into a successful career. Self employment, keep your own hours, work when you are focused. Become successful enough to hire people to do the stuff you suck at. Joseph Campbell's "Follow your bliss" is imperative, not optional with ADHD because only your passion, will get enough focus to stick with it long enough to be successful.
I found my bliss as a mystic teacher, I am off-the-charts intuitive and I get sweet praise for my excellence helping people move past their emotional issues. Last winter I got a breakthrough in resolving PTSD, I found a simple way that people can erase their own trauma scars. It takes minutes to learn, seconds to apply. It is solidly Jungian, to be accessible to anyone. I am giving it away to the world, for free because compassion, and because I have learned that when you teach people to become happier, their gratitude is bankable.
I was in my 20s when I set the big goal, make the world a happier place, now I am nearly 60 and have a viable plan. Teach everybody to clear their emotional traumas and those of others. I am starting a world peace movement to get the message out. "Peace on Earth, one troubled mind at a time" is the motto. ADHD passion is a gift to the world. We have purpose.
ADHD people all have trauma scars, because the world is not kind, in its expectations. Kick the scars, get your power back, let your art and genius unfold unimpeded and see where it goes. kundalini-teacher.com/karma/retroprevention.html
I was with you until the “one world” jargon
People only see and praise the success or the successful, they don't or won't recognize the support structure that got them there, or all the bruises and splinters inflicted or prevented during the climb which likely also involved a bit of falling as they learned and improved.
Each successful person is holding onto the very top branch of an entire tree, full of obstacles and supports and other people that helped them get up there to be recognized.
Standing on the shoulders of giants and all that.
Some people just can't acknowledge or accept the recognition. Even when it's sincere and well-intended some people just can't believe or accept it. How do you propose this can be overcome? It does not seem realistic to think its possible for a person to just immerse themselves in nonstop praise to overcome the self-loathing. And it might be quite tiresome to those around that person.
Correct.
Wow I’ll give this a shot. Might even work for self talk if you don’t have a support network.
I have ADD … not a kind that benefits from stimulants. Exercise is helpful, but n the last year I have had a huge task to accomplish, and I did it by rewarding myself with encouraging self talk. Also I will go over my accomplishments with trusted friends and a sister, because they reinforce the positive encouragement. If only This was understood from childhood for everybody.
I was just thinking about this yesterday that how much some funny aspects of my personality is totally dependent upon me being super sensitive and triggered by very small things. I've been told that "I'm the type of person who says what everybody see's but nobody says" and that sometimes results in laughter. I think i'm very dependent upon my RSD for that.
Thank you for this talk, but the audio is bad and makes listening hard?
If it is still a neurological based Condition so meds may be needed in order to do the things that make us proud of ourselves.
The long intro should probably be at the end.
😂
Why do people like us have such serious problems/difficulties with this blasted brain problem? What was the “original cause” of these brain issue(s) difficulties & differences? I hear you talking about these leaches, Ech, what’s that? Oh yeah, being & feeling stuck is a very accurate description here. have to comment or I’ll loose my chance to get comment there.
Thank you
Really don’t know exactly what to say with all that I’ve been going through. I’m sick of the many issues I’ve been told I’ve definitely got. ADHD, now just found out the next 1 is emotional dysregulation, probably something else too that I can’t think of rt this min. Just gonna listen. But am growing tired of all this info but not getting any correct/personalized treatment that I need! Now I’m in my 60’s! This is pushing it. 😑🙄😭
You are so precious, dear friend! May you find that true praise and encouragement that you need to turn your trials into gold!
I pray the Lord renews your strength, & all who are feeling beyond weary, beyond frustrated, & heavy. May you look to Him & receive new hope & life. In the name of Jesus, amen 🙏🏽
You are right, there are tons of info and well meant jargong, but very little of any real practical help.
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
00:05 🎙️ *Introduction of Drs. Hallowell and Ratey and the topic of ADHD energy and motivation.*
- Doctors Ned Hallowell and John Ratey discuss the lesser-explored aspects of ADHD, including euphoria and energy.
- Introducing the concept of Recognition Responsive Euphoria (RRE) as a positive aspect of ADHD.
- Mentioning the importance of creating an environment that supports individuals with ADHD.
04:53 🧠 *Understanding ADHD as Variable Attention Stimulus Trait (VAST).*
- Proposing the term "Variable Attention Stimulus Trait" (VAST) to describe ADHD.
- Emphasizing the need to recognize ADHD as a trait with both positive and negative aspects.
- Discussing the importance of managing and harnessing the energy associated with VAST.
16:52 🧭 *Recognizing Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) and its impact.*
- Explaining the concept of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) and its negative effects.
- Highlighting the significance of naming and acknowledging RSD as a step toward managing it.
- Mentioning medication options like guanfacine (Intuniv) to reduce the impact of RSD.
19:42 🧠 *Understanding the Default Mode Network and its role in ADHD.*
- Introducing the Default Mode Network as a key brain network involved in ADHD.
- Discussing how individuals with ADHD often struggle with mind-wandering and rumination.
- Exploring the potential for shifting from Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) to Recognition Responsive Euphoria (RRE) with the right mindset and encouragement.
25:56 🚀 *The Positive Side of VAST (Variable Attention Stimulus Trait)*
- ADHD can be seen as VAST, not just a disorder.
- Many successful individuals have VAST traits and benefit from encouragement and support.
- Building on strengths and pursuing interests is essential in managing VAST effectively.
27:42 🧠 *Unlocking the Daemon of the Default Mode Network*
- Exploring the role of the Default Mode Network (Daemon) in motivating people with VAST.
- Praise and criticism can influence one's engagement with the Default Mode Network.
- The importance of creating positive and supportive environments.
29:36 🌟 *Focusing on Developing Strengths*
- Emphasizing the development of strengths rather than fixating on weaknesses.
- Encouraging individuals with VAST to pursue their talents and interests.
- Highlighting the resilience of people with VAST due to their history of overcoming challenges.
32:33 💪 *Nurturing Resilience and Positive Thinking*
- Discussing the importance of resilience and positive thinking in managing VAST.
- Encouraging the creation of environments that promote encouragement and positivity.
- Recognizing the transformative power of hope and motivation in driving success.
35:12 🤝 *Seeking Encouragement and Connection*
- Emphasizing the role of encouragement and connection in managing VAST.
- Removing shame from the lives of people with VAST and embracing their uniqueness.
- Highlighting the potential for personal growth and self-discovery throughout life.
38:51 🌅 *The Transformative Power of Positive Feedback*
- Exploring the impact of positive reinforcement and praise in motivating individuals.
- Acknowledging that motivation often starts extrinsically and can evolve into intrinsic motivation.
- Encouraging parents and teachers to provide extrinsic motivation when necessary.
42:04 🧘♀️ *Cultivating Acceptance of Positive Comments*
- Addressing the challenge of accepting positive comments for some individuals with VAST.
- Advocating for an education process to help individuals recognize and embrace positive feedback.
- Encouraging open discussions about the need for positivity and encouragement.
46:05 🌟 *Pursuing the Seemingly Impossible*
- Sharing a personal story of embracing a seemingly impossible challenge.
- Highlighting the transformative power of attempting and achieving the seemingly impossible.
- Encouraging individuals to stay in the game of life and keep pursuing their goals.
49:10 🧪 *Exploring Emotional Swings in ADHD*
- Addressing the question of why emotional swings occur in individuals with ADHD (VAST).
- Seeking a medical explanation for the emotional fluctuations associated with VAST.
49:38 🧠 *Understanding ADHD emotional swings*
- ADHD individuals often experience intense emotional swings, going from high energy to deep lows.
- These swings can happen within a day or even an hour, triggered by positive or negative events.
- Learning to control and balance these emotional fluctuations is a significant challenge for those with ADHD.
51:17 🧲 *Neuroimaging and ADHD-related emotional sensitivity*
- FMRI scans can show the brain regions involved in Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD).
- RSD can be recognized through changes in the default mode network in the brain.
- Mild euphoria related to ADHD hasn't been extensively studied using FMRI yet.
52:40 🤔 *Distinguishing between ADHD and bipolar disorder*
- ADHD's emotional fluctuations, including euphoria, can sometimes be mistaken for bipolar disorder.
- Bipolar disorder involves prolonged manic states with severe symptoms, whereas euphoria in ADHD is transient and motivating.
- A thorough evaluation is needed to differentiate between the two conditions.
55:40 💊 *Effect of ADHD medication on pros and cons*
- Properly used ADHD medication doesn't diminish the positive aspects of the condition.
- Medication should enhance the ability to channel creativity and manage daily tasks effectively.
- If medication causes undesirable effects, it can be adjusted, switched, or discontinued.
57:54 🙌 *Positive impact of ADHD awareness and diagnosis*
- Late ADHD diagnosis can break negative cycles and provide clarity to individuals.
- The discussion sheds light on the upsides of ADHD, fostering understanding and self-acceptance.
- Gratitude for the awareness and advocacy efforts in the ADHD community.
Made with HARPA AI
Is the book out yet? Is the title the same or different? Sounds absolutely great!
In my case the need for recognition exacerbates the RSD. So if recognition never comes I give up.
Where can I listen to this outside of youtube, please?
www.additudemag.com/webinar/recognition-responsive-euphoria-adhd-podcast-278/
Makes so much sense... "WORDS OF AFFIRMATION" has always been my LOVE LANGUAGE!🥹💕
wow. this is me
What's the difference between offering constant praise and encouragement vs the constant adulation that narcissists seek?
When it actually counts.
Here’s what I mean:
For example when a person with VAST/ADHD completes a specific but very important step in a project, it’s on the encourager to know and recognize the importance of that step so that the praise given will be seen as authentic. Don’t worry if you mess up in some way the experienced VASTer will know you meant well.
By the way, VASTers are quite hard on themselves meaning they are less likely to be narcissistic so be targeted with your praise cause they’ll smell inauthenticity right away but don’t be hard on yourself if 1 out of 10 words of encouragement fall flat.
The difference is that a person with ADHD will accept and embrace the credit/praise for their specific part of the project or endeavor, and recognize everyone else's effort as well. Whereas a person with narcissistic personality disorder (or maybe even just subclinical) will feel entitled to more praise than the actual portions they have contributed.
I’m interested in the idea of it really being more about recognition than praise. So for instance, even when someone has failed in some way, it should ideally be possible to acknowledge why they struggled, recognise the effort, and frame the feedback in a way that tries to avoid blame and offer support. I think when people offer praise that doesn’t seem entirely sincere or justified, rather a superficial attempt to bolster in some way, that it doesn’t feel particularly meaningful. There can still be that sense of not being properly recognised that I can find quite dissatisfying, often patronising and in fact the internal response can be to feel that even though praise was given, rejection was what was truly justified or meant. Neurodiverse people should be able to face reality, own their successes and failures just as well as anyone else, but we need to work more on developing the tools and communication strategies that will allow that to happen, especially for children.
In my humble opinion: Praising and supporting anyone for their great efforts and achievements is a good thing. Believing they can do better is a good thing. Even narcissistic people should be treated fairly. Giving undeserved praise to anyone is a bad idea. ADHD person can tell an undeserved praise from genuine. A narcissistic person will crave all praises, no matter how undeserved and disingenuous. So, being authentic at expressing genuinely deserved praises, gratitude, and the potential you see in someone is the answer. You can't miss with seeing the good in people.
@@xinaesthetic I'm sorry but saying neurodiverse people should be able to face reality is like saying people with cancer should figure out how to treat themselves for it.
I never have any energy or euphoria... Basically I have hated life my entire life. Got dx with ADHD at 47 years old.... life sucks and now I have a defective brain too
Sorry to hear that. The gentlemen here dispute the "defective brain" part. Your brain can do things other "neurotypical" brains cannot. Every. Day. What kind of things have you accomplished with your atypical style of rolling through life?
Yup, too bad I can't quit and restart
Try intermittent fasting, regular walking and reducing carbs. It might change your life.
@@bananian you can’t restart your life however you can use all of your collective life experiences to learn from and propel you towards your new life🙏🏼💗
Dear Fifty Something, I am 74 and I am so relieved to find out I have a typical type of untypical brain!!! It explains so much of the rotten part of my life. I can stop beating myself up and stop labeling myself as a failure and accept the fact I survived and I learned so much along the way. Also, after I completely melted down, I was relieved to discover Prozac worked wonders for me.
This presentation is, sadly, not hearing aid-friendly.
Does anyone else resonate with this present and also feel immune to "platitude praise"?
I feel insightful and direct feedback deeply, but i find the generic encouragements insulting and undermining.
Wondering if thats a personal quirk or related trend
💜
Why can I not find a drug that works, after three years I am the same.
Personally I find the RRE (elsewhere - Acceptance Sensitive Euphoria) as debilitating as RSD. Both states are exaggerated examples of normality. Both lead to shame. Both lead to dysfunction. Both are uncontrollable and untappable. Both are useless as anything other than a rapid drain on energy, resilience and patience.
Here's the problem with "RRE". Speaking as someone with the emotional dysregulation associated with ADHD.
These are flip sides of the same coin - RSD and its opposite. The word opposite is important here.
Thus - the opposite of Rejection is Acceptance and the opposite of Dysphoria is Euphoria. So - Acceptance Sensitive Euphoria and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria are opposites ends of the emotional spectrum. The ADHD means regulation varies from often available if a little unreliable to more or less absent entirely. Lack of emotional regulation in adults will often be hard to detect because the person learns to internalise everything if they grow up in/find themselves living in, a hostile, unsympathetic environment. If that happens in childhood, persistently, the person will have internalised almost every aspect of their true thoughts and desires and will then have problems in relationships being able to open up or knowing what they want. "People pleasing" often takes the place of self actualisation, being by far the safer option.
"RRE" is misleading, because it disassociates it from RSD, which further complicates things. What's needed is an umbrella term for spectrum based emotional dysregulation, and one that preferably avoids words like dysregulation/disorder.
Great talk! One note: the old white guys might want to consider that the genocide of Native Americans isn't the most inspirational example
Not the place for this.
@@zerosoma33 sorry, it's always the place for this! ignoring or avoiding uncomfortable facts is a cognitive distortion.
@@aosidh you can avoid facts if they are not facts.
Vincent, THANK YOU for this comment. I posted about it above as well. It really offended me and made what was an important discussion moot. :(
You’re offended by this? That’s the problem these days and why I don’t participate in ADHD groups. It’s all participation trophies and MUH FEELINGS 100% of the time. I have RSD worse than anybody and you fuckers discouraging both my whiteness and the way I speak truth is a big reason why
I LOVED this talk. BUT why are the American "colonizers" lauded here? This offends me, and I'm sure many others. :( (This is a talk I'd love to share, but now I can't and won't. Please think through these statements and consider your BIPOC audience and the fact that you've got a wide sphere of influence.)
Shut up.
I can't stand hearing a speaker say uh forty thousand times in one hour. I absolutely can't handle it
The perspective presented here is interesting and helpful, but I think the material could have been presented in half the time or less. The speakers seemed to repeat their main point several times and I did not hear detailed recommendations for specific circumstances or interested parties. I was also left wondering about the danger of narcissism because the perspective and recommendations here could encourage extreme self-interest. Some people with ADHD/VAST have great difficulty showing appropriate consideration for other people and they inflict a lot of disruption and distress on those near and close to them. Training and encouraging them to further ignore negative feedback and only listen to praise may not produce the best outcomes.
Wow, your comment is very truthful and insightful. I've experienced harm from the self-centeredness that some with this disorder can fall into. They can hyper-focus on hiding their flaws and show an extreme lack of empathy to loved ones.
Misleading to compare ADHD to narscicism.
adhd and narscisim are not the same thing save possibly at times appearance of selfishness, from the outside...., Extreme-self interest? Same as someone drowning, which is not pathologized. Based on the comments alone, I'd say most people are hurting and looking for answers. The methodology is not new, but the difficulty is feeding the "good" voice and not tapping into the "bad" voices..., especially from those significant others in one's orbit..., who are struggling to understand, ...perhaps someone like you?
Can I offer some constructive criticism? Need to provide more visuals. I got agitated trying to watch this. Where are the slides? Or the speakers? How can you give a presentation to ADHD people showing the same slide for 10 minutes? One of the speakers also needs their volume adjusted. I had to watch at 1.5x speed and then gave up. Also, RSD often makes the task of surrounding yourself with "family" "friends" who will give you praise a very difficult road to begin with lol. I also don't relate to feeling good about praise, it has to be deserved, and it has to be genuine, otherwise it is ridiculously infuriating.
Why is this man praising colonisers?
Yeah adhd experts really need to stop saying "ADHD has positive sides - like, we made great colonisers!" It's like please choose another example
Exactly!! Dr. Hallowell has used this analogy another time too, for example with Jessica at the "How to ADHD" TH-cam channel.
I have ADHD and it's real, but sometimes I wonder about how ADHD is weaponized by white clinicians and patients: "Look, ADHD is great, it allowed me to colonize and succeed." Then when you give feedback: "I have RSD and don't need your bad energy. I need encouragement."
He probably meant colonists. It's funny how Polynesians who spread out to all the islands were adventurers, but Europeans who spread across the ocean at great personal risk are "colonizers." I believe he's speaking about the genetic concentration of people who take risks being more common in North America since just to get here voluntarily, one had to take the risk of living far from help if they avoided shipwreck. There are a bunch of viking genes in Northern Europe and England, but if one mentions that, it's not like you're praising rape and pillage. African tribes conquering others or going into dangerous areas to explore probably have the same traits. No offense intended by him, I believe.
i was like.... what am i hearing
@@OrthodoxInquirer Immigrants and refugees exist though, with all those same traits. It was a strange choice, even if he didn't intend to offend anyone
I’m terrified of praise and recognition. I’ve quit jobs because my performance was publicly praised.
In fact, I prefer to be recognized by quietly giving me cash for my efforts.
(private) Praise plus MONEY allows me to trust that the praise is honest. Otherwise, I assume someone is trying to butter me up in order to harm me.
At 5:56 the speaker mentions stigmata right after mentioning criminalized behavior.
Listening now because this should be interesting 😅
💜
💜