High Value Man/Woman Does Not Exist | @Jouelzy

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ส.ค. 2024

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  • @jouelzy
    @jouelzy  3 ปีที่แล้ว +87

    My shirt is from book club’s shop jouz.es/lit-tees 😊
    Find me on Patreon for exclusive content Patreon.com/jouelzy

    • @ahub87
      @ahub87 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      That Audre Lorde shirt has one of my favorite quotes on it.

    • @naturalQueeP
      @naturalQueeP 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      👍🏾

    • @khadijammhmm6673
      @khadijammhmm6673 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I really hope you do a video on fragile masculinity and women shaming. This simp vs alpha mentality is disgusting

    • @jamrockjamrockjamrock3106
      @jamrockjamrockjamrock3106 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Jouelzy when people refer to a high value man they're referring to finance and status. The two things that most women wouldn't admit we'll make sleeping with 99% of women a lot easier for a man. Most women visualize themselves being this type of man tall,attractive half a million or better a year and with these are the men that women consider a high value because of their financial status what should be common sense to you.Only about 10% of men in the US makes six figures or better. 1% of that are black men. It is in a woman's nature to want the top tier man. What Kevin Samuels tries to explain is that what these men wants in desire. A men who make six figures and with great status has options when it comes to women when a person man or woman has a lot of options they would naturally grow for the best picking so a man in that position I want a woman have prime 18 to 24. When a man has those type of options he looks for purity beauty fitness and cooperation a woman being submissive but not like a slave. It is biology that after 25 a woman starting to be out her prime. In America most women who are not married by 30 years old have had over 10 partners and are not as attractive as they were in the early teens to 20 life experiences having harsh and better in many cases masculine and not willing to cooperate. And these women at this point can get a average man 25 to to hopefully 50,000 a year average height 5.7 average looking no kind of status. All women no matter what age or physical appearance can find love but there's a time limit to when a woman can have the top 10% of men that they want. He's just explaining to you what what this type of man desire

    • @jamrockjamrockjamrock3106
      @jamrockjamrockjamrock3106 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      First of all specifically Kevin Samuels show addresses all women definitely goes harder on non- black women. Honestly you don't watch his show because I saw your criticism of him you women tend to the watch little snippets and base your opinion on that. Men get the horses criticism there's nobody standing up for men when they talk about body shaming there's thousands of jokes that society makes when it comes to male body image but we don't cry and complain about it men are familiar with rejection. Women are not expected to be rejected and feel entitled to any man they want and this is some of the issues that women face today truth is not something that women like very much.

  • @tricie79
    @tricie79 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1093

    There's a lot I want to say. But I'll just quote Toni Morrison "if you can only be tall when someone else is on their knees, you have a big problem"

    • @naya4607
      @naya4607 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      whewww !!!

    • @TerryJulianLive
      @TerryJulianLive 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That's literally white people in America though. They have the most resources, the most businesses and look at black americans. They are on their knees. Not all. But MOST. In fact, 50% of black people in America earn less than $15 an hour. High value DOES exist. Black people just like to live in fantasy land where we think statistics dont matter.

    • @tricie79
      @tricie79 3 ปีที่แล้ว +58

      @@TerryJulianLive interesting that you are literally monetizing the idea of value. Just because some Black people don't have resource access and some white ppl do, doesn't define their "value". Net worth yes, but not value. Because you're a market tracker I get why you'd base your response from a statistical perspective, but that's not what this conversation needs. It actually proves the point of the quote.

    • @thewhynaut5070
      @thewhynaut5070 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I love this

    • @alwaysreliable3
      @alwaysreliable3 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@TerryJulianLive Good Evening Tracing the market and good Black people. It is so important that we produce REAL FACTS and not produce numbers out of thin air, especially in an attempt to belittle our OWN PEOPLE. Tracing the market is WRONG. 28% of ALL Americans make $15 an hour or less, while BLACKS make up ONLY 34% of all people in America who make $15 an hour NOT FIFTY. Please make these people give you SOURCES for these narratives. MY SOURCE - a government agency. The Bureau for Labor Statistics Current population survey (I think they MIGHT know). If you can't find it there, just google what I said and put Washington Post. THESE ARE STATISTICS and FACTS. Not "fantasy land." Stop letting people put us at the bottom when they are WRONG

  • @kinkykoilykawaii
    @kinkykoilykawaii 3 ปีที่แล้ว +293

    People need to start flexing how good a person they are. These movements are morally and spiritually bankrupts.

    • @shahross8366
      @shahross8366 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Say it again, Sis. ✊🏿

    • @charmaineespeut4627
      @charmaineespeut4627 3 ปีที่แล้ว +55

      Good people don't flex how good they are. People will naturally see it.

    • @courtney_lol
      @courtney_lol 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      !!!!!

    • @BigGTheBusiness
      @BigGTheBusiness 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Facts I haven't heard many people say "Spiritually High Value", "Responsible", or "Highly Accountable" as a flex. I'm gonna start lol

    • @alwaysreliable3
      @alwaysreliable3 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      well said

  • @Richard-lh3te
    @Richard-lh3te 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1088

    Thank you for saying it. Anyone telling you they are “high value” are not, it’s like someone telling you they’re classy.

    • @Shalondria
      @Shalondria 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Omg! Yes! Lol

    • @a46475
      @a46475 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Are you valuable?

    • @WillieFordham
      @WillieFordham 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I disagree! I have value and I am high value. I’m direct with who I am!

    • @sashao.1534
      @sashao.1534 3 ปีที่แล้ว +105

      @@WillieFordham that term is so cringe lol

    • @19Hollisterchick90
      @19Hollisterchick90 3 ปีที่แล้ว +108

      And like how people say they're a good person or catch, alpha, etc. People who fit those words do not call themselves that.

  • @cynthialashawnchannel
    @cynthialashawnchannel 3 ปีที่แล้ว +572

    The biggest issue people think high “value” is being equaled to high earning.

    • @iamlaurengill
      @iamlaurengill 3 ปีที่แล้ว +141

      Right no character traits. No nothing. Just Money

    • @safabe96
      @safabe96 3 ปีที่แล้ว +178

      *also just for men. You're not a high value woman if you're high earning, you're only high value based on looks and whether or not you have kids (but if a man has kids, it's legacy). Smh.

    • @nanaanokye1856
      @nanaanokye1856 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Yea and by KS definition of high value that’s exactly what it is smh. Like you can’t just quantify people!

    • @wayfaringstraanger
      @wayfaringstraanger 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@safabe96 don’t forget if you’re older!

    • @mlungisiwright912
      @mlungisiwright912 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Men compete with each other if I come across a woman with kids I may be putting myself in a situation of helping the genes of a rival by financially supporting that woman. So it makes sense to try to find a woman who is fertile yet has not reproduced yet. Also unless I'm a playa a woman's money is her's and I'm not expected to gain from it. But she is expected to gain from my money because part of being a man besides being a protector is to show you can provide. Women remember carry the babies and it helps if the woman can relax and not have to worry about things while she is pregnant. that is why you treat a woman like she is pregnant already on a date so that hopefully she will actually give you some and life can continue

  • @dajona.7554
    @dajona.7554 3 ปีที่แล้ว +425

    My mom had a first kid when she was a 18 (and her family was Jehovahs witnesses so she was really outta luck) and she’s been working ever since. The other day she told me she started taking classes so that she can learn how to create generational wealth for us and I wanted to cry. Idk how to tell her she’s created all the wealth for us that she needs to, she’s really done a phenomenal job but financial markers of the world indicate different

    • @cocochanel3812
      @cocochanel3812 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      ❤️

    • @dess1220
      @dess1220 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      if it doesnt meet the financial markers then its not generational wealth. if that were the criteria for generational wealth, then more black people would have that status. we dont have it bc we dont pass on money or assets in death comparable to other groups.

    • @Ashley-bm9gc
      @Ashley-bm9gc 3 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      This is beautiful and reminded me to really appreciate my own parents. Blessings to you and your family.

    • @bawinilemtsweni5071
      @bawinilemtsweni5071 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    • @dajona.7554
      @dajona.7554 3 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      I just think we’re wealthy in ways besides money, that’s what I really want her to know. She’s built enough love for us to survive, the money doesn’t really mean much to me (but it’d be nice I won’t front)

  • @elizabethj8130
    @elizabethj8130 3 ปีที่แล้ว +384

    The only people who are “ high value” are the people who don’t need to flex to find their value.

    • @LGnLA
      @LGnLA 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣💯💯💯💯💯💯please say it louder for the folks in front AND back!!!!💯

    • @alwaysreliable3
      @alwaysreliable3 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      FACTS

    • @alwaysreliable3
      @alwaysreliable3 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      FACTS

    • @TheL19851000
      @TheL19851000 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      amen

    • @alwaysreliable3
      @alwaysreliable3 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@TheL19851000 Amen

  • @19Hollisterchick90
    @19Hollisterchick90 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1027

    One of my biggest issues with the high value/hypergamy community is they ignore the most obvious thing which is most people marry and date within their class and education level. They're selling people a dream just to make money on TH-cam, meanwhile the subscribers use the rhetoric to tear down people just as average in every way as them.

    • @MontserratGyal
      @MontserratGyal 3 ปีที่แล้ว +181

      I have been seeing this “high value” thing everywhere and I always felt like it unnecessarily over complicates everything. It also seems to enable constant bashing/blaming of the other gender as Joulezy mentioned. Why can’t people just date, form connections, fall in love authentically in their own way? They don’t need checklists of what they have to be in order to be deserving of love or companionship.

    • @19Hollisterchick90
      @19Hollisterchick90 3 ปีที่แล้ว +97

      @@MontserratGyal There's literally check lists in some online spaces for people to adhere to and it's sad that many adults actually apply them to their dating and friendships. They're cutting off friends as well because people online tell them not to hang out with folks in a certain tax bracket, then they wonder why all their relationships are bad. It is ridiculous.

    • @MontserratGyal
      @MontserratGyal 3 ปีที่แล้ว +84

      @@19Hollisterchick90 I see this too!! Why are so may people just believing of everything some random stranger on the internet is convincing them to do to further their lives?

    • @itsnotgonnawork
      @itsnotgonnawork 3 ปีที่แล้ว +95

      @@thechubbypuertorican917 are you lost???

    • @MontserratGyal
      @MontserratGyal 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      @@itsnotgonnawork 🤣😂

  • @chrrislowe9919
    @chrrislowe9919 3 ปีที่แล้ว +247

    “It doesn’t become a definition of who am I including and how am I cultivating community, it becomes a definition of who can I exclude to make myself feel more powerful and more valuable?” A WORD.

    • @alwaysreliable3
      @alwaysreliable3 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Good evening. Thank you for the insight. FACTS

    • @stanleyball2615
      @stanleyball2615 ปีที่แล้ว

      High Value Men are just describing men #1 Are making $100,000 a year or more. Thus giving them way more options than other men to pick and choose which women they want to have sex with. And way more options than other men when it comes to who they will marry. #2 High Value Men have plenty of women willing to take another women's place if they get dumped by that High Value Man. Most men do not have multiple women willing to take another women's place if they would dump their wife or girlfriend. #3 High Value Men are often shared by other women in Polygamous type of relationships. Other men are not able to pull this off. So they more have to lie and creep. High Value Men often are not even challenged by the women they have sex with if they are seeing other women. The vast majority of women just roll with it.

  • @1kaytee4
    @1kaytee4 3 ปีที่แล้ว +868

    The convo around being high value is extremely capitalistic. This remixed version of Capitalism has convinced people to look at themselves like objects rather than human beings with needs that go beyond financial support. For example, someone in the comments compared “high value” people to cars. More specifically, all this does is create the mindset that if you don’t have this very specific amount of wealth, or at the very least display that very specific amount of wealth, then you’re not worthy of love and companionship. It’s tired, boring and always gets extremely misogynoiristic.

    • @kah023
      @kah023 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Facts !

    • @shaunatuck27
      @shaunatuck27 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

    • @kholim8528
      @kholim8528 3 ปีที่แล้ว +69

      Very dehumanizing indeed, comparing people to objects is sooo common in these “high vs low value conversations”

    • @LoneWulf278
      @LoneWulf278 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      THANK YOU! 👏🏾

    • @princessobuzor1992
      @princessobuzor1992 3 ปีที่แล้ว +57

      I found what you said about seeing people as "objects" to be interesting. Imagine how depressing it would be to be in a 'hypergamous' relationship thinking "i can be dispose of for some richer n**ga" (as a guy) OR "I can be disposed of for some prettier b**ch"(as a woman)?! I don't see being in such an unstable relationship as a 'win' 😬

  • @TW-in4uv
    @TW-in4uv 3 ปีที่แล้ว +151

    Capitalism won’t save anyone...

    • @abnormpsych17
      @abnormpsych17 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Capitalism isn't the answer but lets be real, neither is Christianity 🤷🏿‍♀️

    • @a.ros12
      @a.ros12 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      This is crony capitalism at that. These markets aren't even free anymore, just manipulated to benefit a small group at the top of the pyramid and these fools are basing their own value as a human on this flawed system. Smh.

    • @alwaysreliable3
      @alwaysreliable3 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hello TW Not the way it is practiced here

  • @Word-Smithy
    @Word-Smithy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +302

    "Are we really slandering black people for trying to survive in a system that was built to crush us?"
    So many gems here from Jouelzy.

    • @KevinSmith-xt8xr
      @KevinSmith-xt8xr 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      If someone report this comment... On god ima pull up to address

  • @mari6294
    @mari6294 3 ปีที่แล้ว +668

    It feels like bootstraps talk repackaged for black people to use against one another. “If only you did X, you could get a partner. Youre not trying hard enough.”

    • @kath1017
      @kath1017 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Yes

    • @naturalQueeP
      @naturalQueeP 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      It’s definitely some repackaged theory, but I wouldn’t refer it to the bootstrap theory.

    • @MissTeaq
      @MissTeaq 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Oooh yes!!! 💯‼️🎯

    • @AS-tb2mo
      @AS-tb2mo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Agreed! All of this advice and it's annoying.

    • @nancykerrigan
      @nancykerrigan 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@naturalQueeP how so?

  • @jessambres8808
    @jessambres8808 3 ปีที่แล้ว +718

    Jouelzy, I marvel at your intelligence. You’ll be a credit to any doctoral program (if you still choose to pursue one). Thank you for being a voice of reason!

    • @slayingmantis
      @slayingmantis 3 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      @@thechubbypuertorican917 Did you even watch this video?

    • @sashad1076
      @sashad1076 3 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      @@thechubbypuertorican917 I don’t think you know anything about doctoral programs. You won’t increase your debt because you don’t pay for a doctoral degree.

    • @justjanies
      @justjanies 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Agreed she is brilliant

    • @sashad1076
      @sashad1076 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@thechubbypuertorican917 Then you can get a job. There are tons of ways to supplement your income with an academic job within or outside of your institution (the postings are enormous and many aren’t time consuming) I have zero debt and zero family help. I’m guessing they aren’t aware of what’s available to them, and that’s a problem Also, you can pair up with someone in grad school. How does pursuing an advanced degree act as obstacle? I met my fiancé in grad school. It’s perfect, lots of educated, passionate, inquisitive people everywhere.

    • @sashad1076
      @sashad1076 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@thechubbypuertorican917 I didn’t know that they literally banned people from working outside their departments that’s messed up especially if the stipend is low. I don’t think everyone has my outcome, but I do think people should know and research their options, and they should apply accordingly.

  • @christnasumpter3619
    @christnasumpter3619 3 ปีที่แล้ว +175

    I find that I no longer find it productive to engage with or listen to a lot of conversations revolving around dating, high value, wealth, etc. because they usually are not based in fact or data but instead opinions, sexism, and socioeconomic statuses. I appreciate that you brought up wealth disparities, education, and even how loans differ based on race. People love to act as though that has nothing to do with relationships and dating but it absolutely does. Everything is not the black woman or black mans fault. A lot of these issues will not be resolved overnight or even in the next five years because it has everything to do with the oppressive American system. Unless that is reconstructed there will be limitations on progress for the black community.

    • @channiballecter
      @channiballecter 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Exactly.

    • @ayana3602
      @ayana3602 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I’ll disagree for the sake of a healthy conversation. In my opinion, we as a community need to seriously stop blaming everything on the government. If only the government wasn’t so oppressive then maybe we could pull ourselves up by the bootstraps? then we could get an education and be wealthier? Yes, race plays a factor in life and sadly the history of this country. But let’s not act like in 2021 the white man is stopping anyone from studying and applying for higher education. the white man is not stopping us from working out. and the white man isn’t forcing us to have kids out of wedlock (which is like 70% of us). it’s 2021, we have more opportunities and knowledge than ever. the world is literally at our fingertips. majority of our problems in the black community today come from a lack of accountability from men and women. And that accountability starts at home and the values we as a black community subscribe too.

    • @christnasumpter3619
      @christnasumpter3619 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@ayana3602 So where do these issues stem from lol? Do you understand what history is? History covers both past and current events. You cannot isolate modern history from past history. Yes, slavery may have ended hundreds of years ago. Jim Crow happened decades ago. That doesn’t mean that just because these events are in the past that they don’t impact current issues in education, finances, race relations, gender equity, marriage, etc. Yes, it is 2021 but things do not got fixed over night. America was not built over night and neither was the government. There are systems. Do you know the purpose of a system? Just because black people have more privileges than our ancestors does not mean that we can succeed at the same rate as white Americans. Black Americans have “pulled ourselves up by the bootstraps” in many circumstances but there are still instances of racism that either delay or destroy that hard work (look up the black Wall Street). The white man has not stopped anyone from applying for higher education? Lol OK, so what is this? www.americanprogress.org/issues/education-postsecondary/reports/2018/05/23/451186/neglected-college-race-gap-racial-disparities-among-college-completers/

    • @ayana3602
      @ayana3602 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@christnasumpter3619 you’re still taking 0 accountability. I’m well aware of the racial implications that exist and have existed in this country. I have a bachelors degree in the subject. the fact remains that sitting on your butt, crying, blaming the system will fix nothing. taking action and accountability will. it starts with us as a community instilling values of family, education, and health above all. the white man isn’t forcing us to value out of wedlock children, poor health consideration, poor money management, flashy materialism, etc. do these have some historical implications? yes. But in present day, they stem from a a plethora of personal choices such as the values we subscribe to, the music we teach our youth, the homes we bring them into, not taking initiative to educate ourselves, and the failure of us to check ourselves as a community. these are all personal choices that take individual action, not systematic change. We can instill values within our cities and build our own spaces if you want, but we don’t. Not because we can’t but because we don’t. This is a result of us as a community not taking accountability while pointing fingers.

    • @christnasumpter3619
      @christnasumpter3619 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@ayana3602 Fabulous and I am currently getting a Master’s in Higher Education Administration. I just took a history of higher education class. It is not by chance that certain people (white people) have gotten ahead in terms of education (the more educated, the more money you tend to generate). You should know that. What do you think education is? How do you think that impacts decisions such as money management, priorities, even food? You have provided zero citations or evidence to back your point so I don’t know why you’re going back and forth me when you don’t have any data or resources to pull this idea from. In my first comment I said everything is not the black man or woman’s fault. That does not mean we are absolved from making errors that have nothing to do with race or gender. I also said a lot, not ALL issues will not be solved overnight. You just have poor critical reading skills. You also forgot the context of my comment. I am making a comment based on the discussion initiated by Juelzy in the video. Did you watch the video at all?

  • @Gnarleyy2
    @Gnarleyy2 3 ปีที่แล้ว +134

    I like the part of the movement that tells us to value ourselves & don’t settle. But all the other stuff it’s just like “oh great more people telling black women what to do & how to live their lives.” I say just do what makes you happy, you wanna sit in a bath all day & file your nails do that. You want a rich man to take care of you, get one. You wanna be an activist & advocate for others do it, you enjoy playing sports & outdoor activities, do that too. You wanna have a short haircut, you want locs, you wanna wear your 4c hair without much manipulation and products, that’s awesome. Whatever you want black women the world is yours to experience, do it the way you want to. 💗

    • @carofantastic
      @carofantastic 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Ameeeeennnn👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

    • @ChristinaLove844
      @ChristinaLove844 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Period lol

    • @missekevu33
      @missekevu33 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Exactly! I’ll take the good stuff from the topic... keep that garbage for the folks who need it..

    • @larissalaflore7202
      @larissalaflore7202 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      That's it!!!

    • @dcryptospace1284
      @dcryptospace1284 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      THANK YOU!!!!!!

  • @berryair
    @berryair 3 ปีที่แล้ว +98

    High value is relative. I say do what is right for you on a personal level.

    • @fedup4190
      @fedup4190 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Exactly and if you want to go for someone "not on your level" you have every right, just as they have every right to reject you i don't understand this whole trend of humbling people bc "they need to understand how the real world works"

    • @BuddleDuddle
      @BuddleDuddle 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@fedup4190 The whole "you need to understand how the real world works" rhetoric seems to simply be an excuse to maintain shitty systems and allow shitty people to continue being shitty without consequences. No, we can demand better in our own personal relationships and we can push for cultural shifts that benefit everyone, including the abolishment of traditional demands and roles placed on men and women that create these dehumanizing views of "high-value" and "low-value" people.

  • @marishajames3581
    @marishajames3581 3 ปีที่แล้ว +104

    Love this. I can’t stand that this notion of being high value is ideal but having integrity, good character, good personal qualities, faithfulness, loyalty, financial literacy etc.. isn’t factored in. Someone can believe they’re high value and be low quality internally. Edit: Thank you for putting us on this book!

    • @kxlot79
      @kxlot79 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      You’re “high value” to the person who really wants you. Or you *feel* “high value” if lots of people want you.
      It’s not more complicated than this.

    • @ojames1983
      @ojames1983 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Value and quality are two different things. There’s plenty of quality people with little income and are simply “valuable” to those who desire a person at that level in life and/or directly with them who values them. It is what it is.

    • @Mikedread876
      @Mikedread876 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Morals vary globally, so you cannot apply universal morals to something that is so defined.

    • @marishajames3581
      @marishajames3581 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@Mikedread876 True, I guess that’s relevant. As African Americans this is being viewed from a very skewed western lens especially when we have 14% of the wealth that white households have. We’re struggling just to have actual households lol. We’re focused on the wrong things right now as a community. If we had more wealth that wasn’t invested in consumerism, I’d feel different. I’m not sure if other communities are actually having this conversation. If they are, they’ll pursue what’s valuable within their community, culture, sub culture, etc...

    • @KevinSmith-xt8xr
      @KevinSmith-xt8xr 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      i agree, like us average niggas need love too

  • @Etherealswxn
    @Etherealswxn 3 ปีที่แล้ว +205

    i been waiting for someone to have this convo! this whole feminine journey and high value woman/man thing is such a trend especially right now (on instagram and youtube) and idk ... theres so much of it i didnt agreed with but could never find someone who shared a similar stance on it as me

    • @zipporah7085
      @zipporah7085 3 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      I agree with your take on this trend as well. Honestly, I don't remember people male or female using the word feminine this much. Everytime I watch a youtube video I hear people using the word now 😌. I started watching these videos not realizing that these forums could be brainwashing. I understand the importance of not letting men take advantage of you or combatting the masculinization of black women, but it also seems like they're promoting one type of femininity which creates insecurity within women.

    • @joezic
      @joezic 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      that has always been a thing, now its being talked about

    • @sunshinejewel2952
      @sunshinejewel2952 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Lol it’s never been a trend for me! This is something everyone should embody

    • @fabbeyonddadancer
      @fabbeyonddadancer 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      What didn’t you agree with exactly

  • @mecca337
    @mecca337 3 ปีที่แล้ว +98

    Thank you Jouelzy. Most of us don’t have the range to discuss these types of issues with thorough analysis you have provided here. I think we use terms like ‘high value’ as a catch all, not realizing the harm it causes our community especially black women. Your insights are always appreciated. Happy Birthday!

  • @tiffyq7794
    @tiffyq7794 3 ปีที่แล้ว +292

    The term of High Value is ridiculous, my husband is a higher earner, grew up well to do, College educated and is a Senior exec and he thinks the term High Value is comical. I was a single mother when we met and he didn't care about that but according to these redpill men I wouldn't have any chance with my hubby🙄.
    Only people who aren't use to money think the way they do as if their money is their personality

    • @19Hollisterchick90
      @19Hollisterchick90 3 ปีที่แล้ว +80

      Exactly! These men are so frightened by the idea of losing a penny of the $100k careers they're always braghing about. Meanwhile, I know actual millionaires who are step-fathers. Men with actual wealth aren't the ones scared to take on an additional family. Then again, most of the viewers are average earners, so they're speaking from a mindset of lack.

    • @amirah2369
      @amirah2369 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Your situation is the exception, not the norm.

    • @tiffyq7794
      @tiffyq7794 3 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      @@amirah2369 it's actually the norm for the ppl I know

    • @19Hollisterchick90
      @19Hollisterchick90 3 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      @@tiffyq7794 Same for many families I know. These people aren't around any high earners besides an occasional Tinder date, so they go off the word of TH-camrs. Plenty blended families with sizeable bank accounts.

    • @logicandwisdom
      @logicandwisdom 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Same experience here and I'm around high earners with big bank accounts and stock portfolios.

  • @roxywyndham
    @roxywyndham 3 ปีที่แล้ว +162

    Intellectual conversation make be tingle all over 😍😍. Girl when you started quoting, I think I passed out from the overwhelming pleasure of hearing such intelligence. 😩🥰

    • @JacquelynJoyce
      @JacquelynJoyce 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I was listening to this with my man and it wasn’t triggering for him at all because how scholarly this video is

    • @Solomonlike
      @Solomonlike 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That’s not the reason. He doesn’t want to cause any conflict and wants to keep getting what’s between your legs. Unless of course he has erectile dysfunction.

    • @minxmade
      @minxmade 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Seriously, I sincerely appreciate the balance of scholarly insight and relatable colloquialisms in these discussions. Truly one of my favorite channels to have newly discovered on youtube.

    • @alwaysreliable3
      @alwaysreliable3 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      AMEN. From a Black Man

  • @user-hq6gt6wr9k
    @user-hq6gt6wr9k 3 ปีที่แล้ว +106

    I always had an issue with the term, because what is really meant is "high-earning," not high-value. We all have innate and EQUAL value as humans on this Earth. We can assign high or low value to inanimate objects, sure, but to call people high-value is giving very much slave auction for me.

    • @kimleemoon
      @kimleemoon 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      And unless a woman is a gold digger, most of us prefer “high QUALITY” over “high VALUE”

    • @alwaysreliable3
      @alwaysreliable3 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Good evening K. That is the misinterpretation that people are making. It should not and does not mean "high earning."

    • @fabbeyonddadancer
      @fabbeyonddadancer 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That’s not what it really means . High earning is only one aspect of it . The Majority of the critics here arguments are base on misconceptions and misinformation.

    • @breannajoseph2018
      @breannajoseph2018 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      THIS IS THE ONE

    • @Haramu-Fal0
      @Haramu-Fal0 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@fabbeyonddadancer Precisely. Many BW understand HV as being simply HE and misnomer the two. Instead of trying to ACTUALLY understand the concept they take talking points out of context because there cherry pick definitions according to their FEELINGS on the word and not the ACTUAL meaning of the word itself.

  • @ornenow4703
    @ornenow4703 3 ปีที่แล้ว +231

    Happy Birthday! I'm so over the high value man argument. Value is subjective to whatever has meaning to you. There's no cookie cutter way to be in a relationship. And its heteronormative af.

    • @alwaysreliable3
      @alwaysreliable3 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      No not all value is subjective. But you are right there is no cookie cutter way to be in a relationship

  • @africanabella
    @africanabella 3 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    A lot of people leave out character when discussing high value. What's the point of any of it if the person of high value has good economic status but poor character. I will take someone with integrity any day! 🤷🏿‍♀️

    • @sunnydaze80
      @sunnydaze80 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      That's the biggest flaw with hypergamy. A comfortable lifestyle isn't the end all, be all. You can definitely have a great partner who can provide a comfortable lifestyle, but I think hypergamy assumes that men ain't ish, so you might as well get as much benefit from them financially as you can.

    • @shahross8366
      @shahross8366 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      The sad fact is, 90% of the people (men & women) involved in hypergamy, are pretty terrible people.

    • @mrsmaul2010
      @mrsmaul2010 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      THIS all day!!!

  • @daezhabrooks4145
    @daezhabrooks4145 3 ปีที่แล้ว +290

    *sigh* We can literally always count on Jouelzy to say what needs to be said so eloquently.

  • @kehnaturalista8959
    @kehnaturalista8959 3 ปีที่แล้ว +82

    There were so many gems dropped in this convo. Once we as a people begin to truly know ourselves, know our worth without putting a house, car, degree, expensive purse & shoes as our stigma to “show” our wealth we will have developed true worth. There is nothing wrong with attaining “things” but we’ve got to know who we are. Some important items to consider as an individual: What legacy do I want to leave on the earth once I’ve transitioned? How have I helped to empower others? These are some things that truly matter...

    • @MK_ULTRA420
      @MK_ULTRA420 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      If what you said was true than Diogenes would have died a married man.

    • @MK_ULTRA420
      @MK_ULTRA420 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @Ms Neef It is your problem if you want that mythical low-earning high-value man women keep talking about.

    • @kxlot79
      @kxlot79 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@MK_ULTRA420 🤣🤣🤣 *thank you for this!!!!!*

    • @MK_ULTRA420
      @MK_ULTRA420 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@kxlot79 Cheers! 👍👍👍

    • @shahross8366
      @shahross8366 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@MK_ULTRA420 Yall go right back to referencing whyte ppl as the standard. You didnt watch the video, did you?

  • @briguy991
    @briguy991 3 ปีที่แล้ว +95

    Your analysis and commentary is always so refreshing because it's balanced, data driven, and theory informed. Happy birthday and thank you for sharing your gifts with us.

  • @TM-ocean
    @TM-ocean 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Why is it that no one ever brings up the fact that the average black man makes 25k a year. HIGH VALUE?? Like Jouelzy said, it doesnt exist for us in that way. Unless dating outside of your race, finding a high value man would be as likely as winning the lottery.

    • @channiballecter
      @channiballecter 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      People don't want to believe the data. They want to follow these social media influencers and celebrities, and live an aspirational, fantasy world.

    • @larissalaflore7202
      @larissalaflore7202 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      And many schools and neighborhoods are still racially segregated. Most people date and marry within their own kind because that's who they interact with. The majority of white families are not what people would call wealthy. Even internet pages like this and others are segregated. It's about being realistic.

  • @robertabenson621
    @robertabenson621 3 ปีที่แล้ว +113

    My thing with all this high value stuff is they talk about get a “high value” partner but what they don’t talk about is how to maintain a long last marriage! There’s a reason why the divorce rate is so high. High value or not we all need to learn how to maintain long healthy relationships that are not toxic cause it’s like now I have this high value partner but now what? How do we cope when a parent dies? A child dies? How do we cope if we suffer major financial set back? Getting a high value partner is great but I rather a have a high value long lasting marriage with an amazing “average” man than a terrible marriage with a “high value” man.

    • @TrueMystique
      @TrueMystique 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      💯💯💯

    • @cinderea
      @cinderea 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Divorce reduces with income. High income have extremely low divorce rates

    • @kdh1830
      @kdh1830 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Shalala this is so true. They don’t consider mental health or emotional intelligence or stability at all. I’d take that over all that other stuff any day. Money can be made, careers can be attained but. That mental stuff? That’s the gotcha. You can be extra rich and extra pretty and extra messed up in the head

    • @maggiescarlet
      @maggiescarlet 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@cinderea correlation ≠ causation

    • @19Hollisterchick90
      @19Hollisterchick90 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      And set backs are quite normal with rich men. I don't know one who hasn't loss it all at one point. I've seen some women say if their men lose it all they'll start secretly dating again or leave him altogether. On the flip side, there's men talking about seeing other women or leaving if their wife gains weight or stops putting in the same effort as she did in the beginning with her looks. The high value crowd isn't teaching anyone how to be a husband or wife. It's all incredibly superficial and unrealistic.

  • @TheLeah2344
    @TheLeah2344 3 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    I don’t supoort the movement as a whole because all movements become toxic but I do believe in women embracing their femininity if they choose to. Also I believe in not settling for a man who has a bad character and no ambition. My definition of a good man is a man with good character, values, financially stable, and is ambitious.

    • @kdh1830
      @kdh1830 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      I love how you just said this in the most non problematic way I’ve seen so far. So maybe that’s the issue, all these “movements” are just a tad too extreme

    • @alwaysreliable3
      @alwaysreliable3 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Good evening Black lavish girl. GREAT description of a good man. I hope that I and my brothers strive to manifest those attributes. Thank you for the thought leadership

  • @ruffey1748
    @ruffey1748 3 ปีที่แล้ว +175

    You know you've inhaled Capitalism when you're talking about people's "market value on the dating scene". We're supposed to make financial / economic systems work for us, not emulate them. Boy am I glad I'm a bookworm who doesn't like men.

    • @Heyu7her3
      @Heyu7her3 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      It predates capitalism, too

    • @ruffey1748
      @ruffey1748 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      @@Heyu7her3 That's true, the whole concept of "marrying well" in the past, especially when women weren't allowed to work. I suppose under Capitalism in our current era, wealth appears more accessible to more people, not just the established wealthy classes, and regular folk are trying to reflect that in their choice of partner.

    • @13579hee
      @13579hee 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@Heyu7her3 I agree I just thing the language used makes it seem extra weird to somevpeople. Im a fat Black man in my late 20s and I've never dated anyone. I KNOW that to MOST WOMEN I am simply undate-able. It does matter it someone uses language like "no value on the dating market" or not, my position still stays the same. But I do think the referring to humans like they are objects kinda grosses people out

    • @MK_ULTRA420
      @MK_ULTRA420 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      They have political marriages in socialist societies too. The dating game never really ends...

    • @shahross8366
      @shahross8366 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Being a bookworm that doesnt like men doesnt preclude you from being effected by this, though. In your statement, you just became the thing you abhor, without even realizing it. Hubris is really a thing. Good luck with that though.

  • @rayee4341
    @rayee4341 3 ปีที่แล้ว +53

    Someone commented, “ the biggest issue people think high value is being equaled to high earning.”
    Exactly my thoughts , I was just explaining this to my boyfriend last weekend. I don’t understand why some men (not all) get in an uproar about how they’re tired of women basing their value based off of their pockets and financial class, and then turn around and use the phrase, “high value” as an equivalent of a man who is high earning, then want to be grouped into that category. While also, consciously using this as a way to degrade women for their economic status like they already don’t know how that feels... seems very toxic in my opinion. I don’t understand this competition we Black women and black men have against each other but it’s ridiculous. It seems kind of hypocritical and wishy washy in my opinion. The same vice Vera the high value women. I don’t know if we’re all living on the same planet, but I think some men and women now a days are creating these false narratives in order to justify some of the nonsense that they believe in order to prove why their “right”. I also think this high value mess when it comes to men is also another way for men to degrade women even further than they already have. I myself am not a single mother but I honestly feel bad for all of the single mothers who are being told their basically worthless. I don’t understand as a race who has been through so much, why do we purposely try divide ourselves even more? Continuing on, honestly I feel as though the need to appear like you have a certain status or come across as well off, comes back to the traumas of slavery. Because if you look at it, other races aren’t necessarily grouping themselves into these categories, it’s either you got it or you don’t. But I noticed that black people are constantly trying to do so. I’m glad you made this video because I feel the same way, but I couldn’t articulate my words or figure out the proper term to explain this, thank you.

    • @dess1220
      @dess1220 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      bc black people are too busy with the "appearance" of wealth and success rather than actually achieving it.

    • @noirfit9721
      @noirfit9721 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Des S say it again!!!! I see it all the time within my own family. My own mother has said it out her mouth. Since they don’t have the wealth, they gonna at least LOOK like they have it!

    • @MK_ULTRA420
      @MK_ULTRA420 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      There are no low-earning, high value men. It's like having to explain why 2 + 2 = 4.

    • @Intellectualrigor
      @Intellectualrigor 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Read Veblen. All groups participate in conspicuous consumption.

    • @alwaysreliable3
      @alwaysreliable3 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Good Evening Rayee, your analysis was great. Thank you for sharing it WE NEED each other BM and BW, if we are to elevate our families and communities. The war must stop

  • @stephanielee370
    @stephanielee370 3 ปีที่แล้ว +77

    '...to not be people who rely on any sort of terminology that seeks to dispose of other folks as a way to value ourselves". Amen!

  • @KaliyahKayoni
    @KaliyahKayoni 3 ปีที่แล้ว +64

    If the word "value" is attached to something, i think we all need to look at it side ways and critic it until we include it in our lives. What people value change like the seasons, when new IPhones come out they're worth over a grand after a year you could buy it for $500. If how you value yourself is based off the value on a materialistic items, I think you got more problems going on then whats on the surface lol..

    • @jouelzy
      @jouelzy  3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Such a good point!

    • @ojames1983
      @ojames1983 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Everything has a value on it, a rating or ranking, it is what it is.

    • @BuddleDuddle
      @BuddleDuddle 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@ojames1983 "It is what it is" is not an argument to continue maintaining something as it is now.

    • @ojames1983
      @ojames1983 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@BuddleDuddle nice projection stated as what I said is merely a statement of fact, reality, which neither persuades or opposes anything, and is only an “argument” to a delusional viewpoint.

  • @Kathdee251
    @Kathdee251 3 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    This is coming from a husband, and like I told my wife. I wouldn't take anyone serious who listen to Kevin Samuels or Derrick Jaxn. Just look at the women who call Kevin and the Male who follow him.

    • @alwaysreliable3
      @alwaysreliable3 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      That is not fair to judge listeners. Do you judge "Houseife shows" and Love and Hip Hop show listeners. It is not science it is entertainment with some strong opinions

    • @Kathdee251
      @Kathdee251 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@alwaysreliable3 I have no clue what a Love and Hip Hop show is and I don't watch Housewives, my opinion is my opinion just like your welcomed to your own opinion

    • @alwaysreliable3
      @alwaysreliable3 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Kathdee251 You may not watch it, but they are the most watched programs by Black America. I simply asked you a question. You made a criticism, posted it, and I sought to understand it. So I asked a question. RESPECT

    • @lemonscenic6207
      @lemonscenic6207 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@alwaysreliable3 But it’s different because it involves more so of a mindset. If you seen comments on their videos, you would understand why the original commenter stated what he said. I’ve heard the most ridiculous things and people follow behind it. When people watch love and hip hop or housewives, they never take it serious because it’s not real but the drama is entertaining. But watching those shows are draining.

    • @alwaysreliable3
      @alwaysreliable3 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@lemonscenic6207 Good evening. Thank you so much for your thoughts. I must disagree as someone who lives in Atlanta and has seen a generation of young woman AM Hale love and hip hop and begin to think those lives are real and have expectations based on the falshoods. I think those shows are dangerous and the fact that it was created by a black woman that I know is disappointing. Mona used to manage Missy Elliott back in the day. What she is done to the black woman projection Is terrible. You can't condemn Mr. Samuels listener's reaction and that condemn what is happening one housewives and love and hip hop. He is not responsible for the mis interpretation of his message. But the visual nature of those other 2 shows makes the creators extremely responsible. I have not looked at the comments 2 KS show. But I will take your recommendation and do so. Thank you so much for your contribution to my Enlightenment

  • @soniadanielsphd
    @soniadanielsphd 3 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    Yes yes and yes. I paused this video at the point when you said "how do you show wealth" and that's a challenge with the hypergamy/high-value movement. The wealthiest folks don't always wear their money. Furthermore, my struggle is when did we stop connecting with people based on character and personality instead of focusing on materialism and faux concepts of wealth.

    • @alwaysreliable3
      @alwaysreliable3 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      FACTS. Thank you for your thoughts Sonia, I appreciate it

    • @alwaysreliable3
      @alwaysreliable3 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Just trying to learn more about how BW are thinking

  • @maggiejerome4843
    @maggiejerome4843 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Chasing high value while most of us struggling to keep any value in our bank accounts

  • @tmitriowens4271
    @tmitriowens4271 3 ปีที่แล้ว +64

    I appreciate you encouraging us all to think beyond the surface level when faced with cultural developmements. The idea of the high value person is either based on the true internalization of american capitalism or the true internalization of enslavement. It is the fight to be seen as valuable to someone based on what others think of you, which is just sad.

    • @kxlot79
      @kxlot79 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That’s not what it is at all.
      It’s the fight to see YOURSELF primarily as valuable. And how would any of us REALLY move if we felt that way about ourselves???

    • @babygirla5717
      @babygirla5717 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@kxlot79 Ummm no that not what it means at all the top comment is correct. 🤷🏽‍♀️💯

    • @naya4607
      @naya4607 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@kxlot79 see I knew you were BS from your other comment and now look. Desperate to uphold systems that deem groups of people as disposable. Please, heal. Why do you need to do any presentation to see yourself as valuable? Let that question marinate. Reflect on that. Don't reply to me.

    • @shahross8366
      @shahross8366 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@kxlot79 You didnt actually watch the video, did you?

  • @alt4374
    @alt4374 3 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    My biggest problem with the mvmt is their insistence upon being classist and anti poor despite the fact that MOST black Americans will at some point in their life be poor and that under capitalism shifts in socio economic class are almost impossible and that having less money in their eyes LITERALLY makes people less "valuable". Its a disgusting black pipeline to economic fascism and it really disappoints me that there isnt a bigger counter force to these messages because they are harmful.
    Also it pisses me off that they e co opted the conceots of luxury and leisure which are things that AALLLLL people are deserving of regardless of their income.
    Lastly I have also noticed these communities tend to be very anti intellectual and rely far too heavily on rhetoric that juat makes them no different than the many anti poor anti WOMAN cults within the black community.

    • @pumpkin03
      @pumpkin03 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Most Black people don't realize they are "poor". Many think they are one invention or idea away from being Oprah. Also many place a heavy burden on their children to become high earners via sports, entertainment, etc. And yes, I'm Black despite my avi pic lol

    • @alwaysreliable3
      @alwaysreliable3 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Good evening. I will have to listen to theis content creator, because the intellectual level of her listeners is outstanding. Your analysis is great. I would with the anti-woman assessment, but everything else is accurate. I think that the way that the concept is being promoted (inaccurately) is causing misunderstanding and elitism. Thank you for your analysis and thought leadership

    • @fabbeyonddadancer
      @fabbeyonddadancer 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I find it unfortunate that you critics continuously try to make arguments on subject matters you all obviously don’t have a proper in-depth knowledge base understanding on but hey

  • @Zikomo7
    @Zikomo7 3 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    KS, Derrick Jackson, and Quavo are all “high value” men and look what they do.

    • @kxlot79
      @kxlot79 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      High value to fools. 👀
      Look what fools do?👀

    • @Zikomo7
      @Zikomo7 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@kxlot79 There’s 2 types of hypergamous women. The ones who are ok with what a man does as long as he stays rich and the ones who expect a man to be rich and kind without vetting

    • @Ash2theB
      @Ash2theB 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@Zikomo7 there isn’t just two. Everyone has there individuals requirements or standards that fit hypergamous definition.

    • @jamessmith-zk4co
      @jamessmith-zk4co 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      What have they done? I've seen the Derrick Jaxn stuff .

    • @Zikomo7
      @Zikomo7 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@jamessmith-zk4co Cheat and/or belittle women.

  • @chloea9824
    @chloea9824 3 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    I was waiting for your perspective on this! I find that the average black woman does not fit into the standards that "supposedly" attract high value men. What bothers me is the people who watch the videos and try to align themselves to the lifestyle and may never actually attain the lifestyle, which is okay. People need to realize that you can still live a happy and fulfilled life. It does not have to look like what is presented in the media when the stuff presented is an illusion anyways!

    • @chloea9824
      @chloea9824 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Strongj exactly!

  • @thepoorblackman
    @thepoorblackman 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Thank you! This video keeps getting better and better. I always tell people.. most of us are not very far from being homeless. Even if you're making 300K a year. If you lost that job how long could you maintain your lifestyle.
    We see it happen with celebrities all the time. People have gone from millionaire to homeless.
    I've done well, but I remain humble. Sure I can quit my job because I invested in real estate. But what happens when my tenants stop paying rent? We might have a problem.

  • @VENIKA
    @VENIKA 3 ปีที่แล้ว +62

    Using “high value” to describe women/men/non-binaries is extremely problematic especially when this term is based on factors such as economic status, education and disposable income, if someone doesn’t have these are they “low value” then? It’s important that we don’t place value on things that can always change. Also, I may be wrong but I believe the idea of college education making somebody middle class is based on the old class system which was present here in England before the 20th century.

    • @shahross8366
      @shahross8366 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Pretty sure that non-binaries are not on the radar for the Black men that you're talking about.

  • @kennethiavail1719
    @kennethiavail1719 3 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    You hit it right on the head. “High value” is just another way to divide us (black folks). If you aren’t college educated and live in some nice city with a 6 figure job than what are you? Less than? These things start off with a clear message, like hypergamy then completely loses its course and turns into something else.

  • @KhaliahAli
    @KhaliahAli 3 ปีที่แล้ว +218

    It’s just extremely degrading how the “high value, expert” goes in on women. So sickening and to think his suits do not make him any more attractive or likable. Where did all these constructs, titles, boxes, gender roles and classes that we put on ourselves come from?!?!

    • @dickersonr6172
      @dickersonr6172 3 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      On top of that he told women with education and who make a certain amount shouldn’t worry about that in their men bc more likely them theirselves are not physically attractive. He’s an idiot and those that call in are idiots too

    • @rayee4341
      @rayee4341 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      In my opinion I’m starting to think they come from slavery, if you really think about it it kinda mask sense.

    • @niaiman9763
      @niaiman9763 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@thechubbypuertorican917 are you competing sir?

    • @niaiman9763
      @niaiman9763 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@thechubbypuertorican917 so if you want a return on results and higher value, you need to to put investments & hard work into the things you want to be higher valued in? Do you ever feel like crap when you don’t meet the requirements you feel like you needed to or wanted to?

    • @niaiman9763
      @niaiman9763 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@thechubbypuertorican917 and to the people you want to appear higher value to?

  • @Blahgirl283
    @Blahgirl283 3 ปีที่แล้ว +98

    That was such a heartbreaking story to hear, that professor’s experience losing her child at the hands of a racist medical system

    • @taginefc3189
      @taginefc3189 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Which goes to show you the concept of “high value” is within our Racial construct.. White Supremacy can care less .. we all the same to them.

    • @kxlot79
      @kxlot79 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@taginefc3189 if you’re implying the professor equated “high value” with Whiteness, wouldn’t that imply blame with her *metric* for high-value (by equating it with Whiteness), and not an issue with the notion of “high value” itself?
      Cause for me, “high value” would have me looking at patient surveys and outcomes and data available in public records- which still only tells you so much, but would it be a less bitter pill to swallow that the statistical data available publicly rarely skews for racism with any kind of accuracy? Cause the clinic with the lowest maternal death could so happen to be one of the most racist where a Black mother still had a low likelihood of faring well.

  • @markita.hardenhome
    @markita.hardenhome 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I AGREE with ALL you said. On the surface I think people (men) saw me as "low value" from judging me at a distance. I don't speak much, seemingly single mother with 3 kids, average car, put together but never wearing ANYTHING to display "wealth". No fake nails, no designer shoes, no designer bags, no fake hair, never bragging about who I am or what I do. I wear my hair natural and mostly receive positive comments on my hair. I know men found me beautiful but there was always reluctance.
    A church group had a gathering at my house. And I was annoyed about the sense of "shock" some had about my home. Like.... what did you expect????🤔
    I then realized that because I had children and my income wasn't on display... folks ASSUMED many many things. I think they thought I was the average stereotype...single struggling black woman with kids.
    I earn more than most average two parent homes, I have two degrees, I own my home, in the suburbs in a great part of town and don't receive child support or alimony. I don't talk about my career, my wealth, or display my wealth ON PURPOSE. And when asked I intentionally downplay what I do. I don't wanna be liked because of my career and profession. Or cuz of my degree, or car or handbag, or overly fluffed up beauty, etc.
    I didn't realize folks made assumptions about me because I had 3 children and no husband??? But I was married, not wearing my ring (worth $5K) because I was going through a divorce which lasted 3 long years.
    These assumptions came from our own community. I am happily remarried now....But I'm sure black men overlooked me based on their assumptions about me just because I had kids and didn't wear symbols of wealth. Not realizing that I've been in a better financial position than every man I've met and ALWAYS out earn them. And I was only 35 yrs old at the time.
    "HIGH VALUE" is a stupid concept. It's all about displaying wealth, and appearances. But some of us well off people don't want to attract people based on these things and intentionally don't buy status items. I could have a mercedes but I choose paying for college for my children over buying a fancy car. I could upgrade my home but my 4 bedroom older home is plenty for my family.
    You might miss out on a blessing because you're looking at outter appearances and making WRONG assumptions.
    I'll retire at 57... while these "high value" men who judged me, will be still working, paying for their expensive "high value " wives🙄.
    Value is more than wealth and fake appearances. Our community is so lost...especially our men.

  • @itsroween
    @itsroween 3 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    Thank you! For a minute I thought I was in the twilight zone. frfr

    • @memyself2630
      @memyself2630 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Me too and I’m happily married but scared for my daughters!

    • @cedricadaniels7983
      @cedricadaniels7983 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Same... I was beginning to feel like I woke up from that nap that was only supposed to be 15 minutes and woke up 20 years later 🤣😭

    • @cgaskin00
      @cgaskin00 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@memyself2630 omg same! I'm divorced and "hit the wall" in KS terms. But I was actually worried for my two boys! Not wanting them to have this jaded view of the world.

  • @bodidley2033
    @bodidley2033 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    This is the most intelligent and truthful breakdown of all this bull crap. 👋🏾👋🏾👋🏾

  • @TheMichelex20
    @TheMichelex20 3 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    Love how you shake the table and not only that you do the research. I’m a licensed social worker so I live for your analysis.

    • @cocochanel3812
      @cocochanel3812 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Ayeeee social worker here 🤙🏾

    • @MaNnYxFrEsHh
      @MaNnYxFrEsHh 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Social worker here - taking that LSW test (again) soon !!!!!

    • @cocochanel3812
      @cocochanel3812 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@MaNnYxFrEsHh you got this 💕

  • @chantel794
    @chantel794 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I have followed you since I was in high school and I am now out of undergrad for coming on 3 years. I’ve been noticing that having these conversations outside of a “scholarly” bubble is really difficult. Watching your videos really feels comforting and educational, especially for someone who believes in citations and historical context. Thanks for putting in your time and effort into every topic.

    • @goldn_k
      @goldn_k ปีที่แล้ว

      Totally agree!

  • @llubu001
    @llubu001 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Listen that part about going to the “good” area to get care hit home. The whole high value situation is so odd. Living in LA California and seeing how segregated Los Angeles continues to be, it’s very clear that no matter your income these spaces are not meant for you.

  • @nikkipooh9
    @nikkipooh9 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I THOROUGHLY enjoy witnessing you tie all these texts together and having you share your thoughts and realizations.

  • @DoraWinifred
    @DoraWinifred 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I think people are mixing up night NET WORTH with high VALUE.
    high value men aren’t millionaires, they are hard working men with a good work ethic, earn good money with MORALS and treat women and girls fairly with dignity and respect. If you want a high value man look at how he treats the women in his life - so mother, sisters, aunties, nieces.

    • @ojames1983
      @ojames1983 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      That’s called quality - yet there’s plenty of good brothers out there that women don’t want them like that because that would equate to nice guys finishing first and not last. Men with money and assets and then some have generally been more desirable than the ones who aren’t. Let’s quit the delusions.

    • @DoraWinifred
      @DoraWinifred 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@ojames1983 lots of nice guys aren’t actually nice, they act kind and think that this act mean they have a right to have romantic access to a woman. Then there’s the other type of nice guy who is a complete push over neither of those types are attractive to women. Let’s be real.
      Yes there are some nice gentleman that a women overlook but men are the same when comes to women who are wife material (good values, good home, well educated) and chase after the bad bitches. So this issue isn’t exclusive to a gender.

    • @dumfriesspearhead7398
      @dumfriesspearhead7398 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@DoraWinifred Preach. One guy on another channel derided wanting a church going woman for a potential wife, but wanted a "baddie with character".

    • @yougotgamesonyourphone6947
      @yougotgamesonyourphone6947 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ojames1983 I never understand why men bitch about being nice men and not getting laid, when in reality some of y’all are entitled and want pussy after paying for a $10 meal. Let’s also be real here, there are a lot of women that are friendzoned or put in a fuck buddy zone because some of y’all think with the wrong head

  • @thesoftestrevolution5626
    @thesoftestrevolution5626 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    The disposability factor is the main thing that turned me off from it. Like y'all really out here shepherding yourselves AND OTHERS into the same false hierarchies that are to blame for our subjugation and dehumanization? It's gonna be a no for me, dawg lmao.

  • @lyrablack8621
    @lyrablack8621 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    You are so well-spoken. I'm going into nursing - I'll be sure to avoid stereotypes etc and hear patients out

  • @RobertDGordon
    @RobertDGordon 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    This whole high value man conversation has become more of a marketing tool than a motivational tool.
    A lot of these “high value man” gurus and commentators are simply attempting to make merchandise of their followers without giving them anything tangible or applicable that differs from the plethora of self help and visualization literature and lectures which have existed for decades.
    It’s just another attempt to repackage and represent idioms that are readily accessible and monetize it for their own betterment.
    For the most part they’re preying on people’s lack of self esteem, lack of self accountability and delusions of grandeur and entitlement.

    • @Steph2da
      @Steph2da 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Well put

    • @goldn_k
      @goldn_k ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Very well said 💯

  • @coilyheadedbby
    @coilyheadedbby 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    as individuals, we all literally place value on different things. We want different things. So saying money, appearance and status are the only things on the value spectrum is dead ass wrong. Money may be valuable to some, money may not be valuable to some. There are some people that don’t give a damn about appearance and there are people that do. People shouldn’t just LABEL and STAMP high value/low value on any damn body because trust this person is of high value to somebody. The shit is not concrete.

    • @jouelzy
      @jouelzy  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      No where in this video did I say that people can’t decide what is valuable to them.

    • @coilyheadedbby
      @coilyheadedbby 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@jouelzy this wasn’t in reference to you at all, but to society in general. When I said ‘you’ I meant ‘people’.

  • @123cutieputtie
    @123cutieputtie 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Lmfaooo you and Kim gonna have the high value girlsss pressed 💀😭😭😭 all bent out of shape.

    • @channiballecter
      @channiballecter 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Their feathers are always ruffled when Kim and Jouelzy speak on this topic. Some of them are bullies, which isn't at all "feminine" and "ladylike." I hate they way they've been harassing Kim. Some of them are obsessed with every little thing that she does.

  • @sandrallewellyn2632
    @sandrallewellyn2632 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Yes! This was the analysis I didn't know I needed to hear. The way you broke this, past the transactional nature of these "high value" conversations but the reading & presentation of wealth & class, black women being associated with low class, not considering who we're excluding/discarding as opposed to including and so much more... You beautifully gave words to EVERYTHING I've been feeling and observing and frustrated by that I couldn't quite name(it's to the point now that I'm slightly triggered by that term "high value" tbh lol)

  • @doggybag11
    @doggybag11 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I’m going to have to rewatch this video multiple times. Such good analysis!

  • @Vanessarashelle
    @Vanessarashelle 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I’m extremely tapped out of the mentality that many are displaying at this time. Thank you for being DIFFERENT. ✨💕

  • @peacejones7648
    @peacejones7648 3 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    TEAM ARIESSSSSS 🎈🎈🎈♈️♈️♈️♈️ Happy Birthday 🎂

    • @katrina2010renee
      @katrina2010renee 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      April Aries here♈♈♈! Happy birthday my Aries sistas

    • @peacejones7648
      @peacejones7648 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@katrina2010renee same!! 4.4

    • @katrina2010renee
      @katrina2010renee 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@peacejones7648 I'm 4.15 my niece is 4.4 !!

    • @Stylishheart101
      @Stylishheart101 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you!! Happy Birthday!

  • @19Hollisterchick90
    @19Hollisterchick90 3 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    Speaking of generational wealth, someone should call out all these parents trying to make their children become entrepreneurs. I've seen way too many posts from parents making their children authorized users on their credit accounts not to make sure they have good credit and are able to get apartments, but so they can buy rental property. People have teens and believe when they're become 18, they can force them into purchasing multifamily homes with FHA loans and become landlords. I'm all for setting kids up to have to financially sound, but I'm seeing way too many people trying to live vicariously through their children and eventually off them. If they know so much about becoming a landlord, why are they not one themselves...? Nevermind them ignoring the other qualifications to own property.

    • @19Hollisterchick90
      @19Hollisterchick90 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@Flowergoatflower It's like the ultimate goal in some spaces for kids to retire their parents. They're using Entrepreneurship like parents used to use basketball and football.

    • @pumpkin03
      @pumpkin03 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I haven't heard about parents using their kids' credit to purchase homes but I have heard some say they hire their kids in their LLCs & help build their credit up for them. Idk if any of this will work out how these parents think it will.

    • @19Hollisterchick90
      @19Hollisterchick90 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@pumpkin03 It won't, because you can not hire your children and claim the $12k refund without having a lucrative business. It doesn't matter how much you spend on your business and what records you have. People repeat the same information, but none of them actually have applied it, so the advice is futile.

    • @alwaysreliable3
      @alwaysreliable3 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Well said

  • @KurlyKB_2023
    @KurlyKB_2023 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Say it for the low budget men and women in the back 🗣. I had to leave this “goddess lounge” group because all these women wanted a high value man while doing absolutely nothing. Like how?! It’s beyond annoying. Enough with the nonsense 🗣

    • @19Hollisterchick90
      @19Hollisterchick90 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      "I'm the prize. I bring nothing to the table. I AM the table." Then the next post is trashing women with educations and success, then asking us where we find high value men😂

    • @missekevu33
      @missekevu33 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Don’t call yourself low budget though....Say you like the simple things 🤣😂

    • @KurlyKB_2023
      @KurlyKB_2023 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@missekevu33 idk who you’re referencing

    • @thotsannprayers
      @thotsannprayers 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I was getting into the femininity side of TH-cam and I heard one of these women say that she doesn't change her car tiers because she feels like the men around her could do that, when I heard that I decided to take a step back.

    • @charmaineespeut4627
      @charmaineespeut4627 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@thotsannprayers That's an example of toxic femininity: a strong sense of entitlement and co dependence.

  • @kimleemoon
    @kimleemoon 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I feel sorry for people who only value salaries (which does not translate to wealth) and looks. You can have a man so called “ high-value man” making 6-figures & he could be verbally, emotionally & physically abusive, he could be a drug user or an alcoholic, a cheater, etc. A beautiful woman with a nice body could be a horrible mom to your kids, someone that spends more than you can earn, someone that doesn’t support you spiritually. There are things mor important than money & beauty bcos both can fade. Also poor men/women can change their financial outlook, fat men/women can lose weight, uneducated men/women can go to college. When choosing a mate, the focus should be on love, honesty, loyalty & generally how the person treats you. This whole notion of “high value” men/women is just disgusting🤮

  • @Borahborah9139
    @Borahborah9139 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Have we not learned that every time we bring Capitalistic practices into social/communal relations, shit goes left? This high value stuff is toxic.

  • @ReincarnatedStargazer
    @ReincarnatedStargazer 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Thank you for this. I've been over here meditating, moisturizing, hydrating and trying to logically wrap my head around the factors of entitlement for a "high value man/woman". So now I realize it's just basic azz people with delusions of grandeur making up shid based on their own insecurities. Okay. Got it.💅

  • @thepoorblackman
    @thepoorblackman 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Speak on it! One of my so-called baller colleagues went from bragging about money to needing assistance with burying his grandmother. ....
    Subcribed. Notifications turned on. Thank you for the content.

  • @emilywood6830
    @emilywood6830 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    KS literally said once, don't get the "off brand", dollar store cleaning supplies. Buy the brand name soaps and laundry detergent. 😂 What in the hell. He's all about consumerism and capitalism. It's scary how many young boys look up to and follow his channel.

  • @xr2kid
    @xr2kid 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Thank you for starting this off with a class analysis lord knows most ppl lacking it.

  • @Tessitura9
    @Tessitura9 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I'm sorry but I cant help but notice that black women have to do the most for a decent partner whereas wyt women can just be wyt and get the most. They dont even have to be cute, let alone "high value". The standards are completely different

  • @craigfox1572
    @craigfox1572 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I’m so Glad Jouelzy talked about the impact of slavery and wealth theft’s impact on Dating. People don’t know just how poor Black people are

  • @pinky15ification
    @pinky15ification 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Happy Birthday Jouelzy!!! Thanks for always bringing awesome and thought-provoking content.

  • @KayB_719
    @KayB_719 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This is probably the BEST video speaking on this new movement of “high value” individuals...I said this earlier whyyyyy is this new generation and society so obsessed with money, how much stuff cost, and how much money others have smh it’s weird I don’t count anyone else’s pockets but my own

  • @bunnipop1867
    @bunnipop1867 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    I had no idea that this conversation was even taking place tbh lol. II think for me I go by the standards for which I was raised to seek. They have to be college educated, they have to be a good person and make me happy. But I'm also in a unique situation with a family that's white, while I am black, so I'm unsure where I would fit here~

  • @batisebraxton8767
    @batisebraxton8767 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I have had this conversation with my sister and a friend. The way women are rated as "deserving" of a high value man cuts so many Black women out.

    • @Roccofan
      @Roccofan 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      You have this very wrong. If you’re talking about Kevin Samuels, the women call him and state their desired outcome. AFTER THAT they walk down the path of what it takes to get to that outcome. If you want a man that makes $250k and you want be a stay at home wife/mother, you’ll have to compete for him. The same way you compete for other men, except that higher caliber women want the man you want. Kevin simply tells women what they need to do to get a man at that level or whatever level they’re looking for. If you’re over weight, yes, it will be harder to get that kind of man. THEN AGAIN, if a man is broke and fat, and you’re very pretty, how much of a chance does he have with you?

    • @batisebraxton8767
      @batisebraxton8767 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@Roccofan I don't watch any of them. I have heard of how some women are chopped down. I think that we have many things to offer to the world. Who is to say what weight is too much or too little? Who is the "word" on rating 1-10 for look? Some people actually prefer to make a choice of a partner based on shared values, morality, shared interests etc.

    • @Roccofan
      @Roccofan 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@batisebraxton8767 I understand and I fully agree, but the fact remains that men have preferences and options. Kevin is NOT the arbiter of these things, the men decide and too many black women who want husbands are without husbands. Values, morality and shared interests are all good and well, but at the end of the day, men are visual creatures. My daughter is 18 and will head off to college in the fall. I’ve raised her to be a woman of substance, but I also make sure to tell her to keep herself in shape. There are plenty of smart, pretty black girls running around, best to put herself in the best position to get a great man like her daddy. :)
      I highly recommend you watch a bunch of Kevin’s full videos. Too many people only watch sound bites.

    • @tiffyq7794
      @tiffyq7794 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Roccofan I actually feel sorry for your daughter, do you also tell your daughter to have sex by the third date like KS says? Would you be ok with your 18 year old dating a man in his 50's? Any grown man sitting on TH-cam for hours watching another grown man talking pure trash has some issues of his own. Hope you don't have your daughter watching it

    • @Roccofan
      @Roccofan 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@tiffyq7794 Your disingenuous argument saddens me. Kevin does not tell women to have sex by the third date. He also doesn’t tell 18yr olds to marry 50 yr olds. If you dislike his content and disagree, then you’re the one that should do some reflection on why you’re watching. Then again, your ill-informed comment here says that you really haven’t been watching, just reacting to 3rd or 4th hand information. At the end of the day, it comes down to are you getting the outcome you desire. If not, look in the mirror and reflect on your attitude and actions and see if something in the physical or mental has to change for you to get what you want out of life. It really isn’t that radical a concept.

  • @roddenak
    @roddenak 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    You spoke a word!!! God forbid getting into a life-altering accident or health crisis. All the money people think they have goes by quick due to medical costs. People are so focused on material things instead of something like a good character, honesty, loyalty, kindness, etc. Those things are priceless and seemingly rare these days.

  • @yolandagrant8414
    @yolandagrant8414 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    The high value movement isn't perfect. It should be used more as a guideline. Embracing your femininity, working on your diet, taking care of your hair, skin, etc. It doesn't take oodles of money to do these things. Realistically, not all women will be able to snag a "high value man". And that's okay. But there is nothing sexier, than a black man in a suit! As opposed to some 40 yr old still sagging his pants. Aspiring to make more money and be classy is good. If it helps us to move away from our current ratchet culture....I'm all for it!

  • @Da1fromabovesNapps
    @Da1fromabovesNapps 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I think you're making it way deeper than it needs to be. High value is relative. Hypergamy simply means to date someone on or above your socioeconomic level. A man who a 21 yr old college student finds to be high value may not be the same for a 35 yr old CPA. A man having the ability to lead, provide, protect, etc. makes him high value. The value of women isn't necessarily judged by their income but the lifestyle they are living will usually determine which men they have access to. Their appearance, energy & cultural knowledge will play a big part in who is interested in them. At the end of the day..relationships are transactional.. that's just what it is. We gotta stop scaring black women into accepting struggle love..men do enough of that. Find someone who makes you feel safe & puts you & your future family in the best position to win. Lets level up ladies!

    • @kxlot79
      @kxlot79 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You’re making too much sense to this set.
      But A+ for effort!

  • @Sinnum
    @Sinnum 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    "I really wanna caution us all to not be people who rely on any sort of terminology that seeks to dispose of other folks as a way to value ourselves." I was captivated all the way through this video and this was the perfect, the PERFECT way to cap it off.

  • @diaking2845
    @diaking2845 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    People are craving his type content, that is why he's growing so fast. The women that call in are looking for a "strong hand," some dominance, and pimpin in their lives. He's giving them what they're looking for. He's putting "The Mack Down" and they like it! Otherwise they wouldn't call.

    • @cgaskin00
      @cgaskin00 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      From a woman's standpoint I think many of them also call in to try to disspell him with their personal stories, but theyfall short.

  • @kdh1830
    @kdh1830 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    So I have been. Quite vocal. About the issues with the high value theory and I think you summed it up for me just now. I hate that it discards people who do not have what you have. It makes it seem like A is better than B. When yes A is different from B but none of us are better than anyone else. A college education or a high income or a pretty face. Or a lack of children. Owning properties. Does not make you any better than anyone else and I just realized. That’s why that argument makes me uncomfortable.
    I do think that dating comes down to values that match. A man should date a woman that shares similar values and vice versa, so for a man to say id like a woman who is college educated or who makes around the same money as me or whatever. Okay cool. That’s one thing. But to say there’s a sector of women OR MEN. let’s be clear this goes both ways. That are somehow not worthy or not good enough is quite terrible. I’m a firm believer in everybody. Every single one of us. Has their shit. Wether it be loans or kids or mental issues or whatever kind of “baggage”. Hell Barack Obama had loans until he was in the White House so. Idk it also creates a false sense of humanity because nobody is perfect.
    I will also add this (and it’s gonna make some people mad). From the friends I’ve talked to who are dating. And have run across people, men or women, who are all into the high value thing. I’ve gathered most of the people spewing this about themselves are kind of. Wack. Lol like they aren’t good people and a lot of times, it’s like an OVER inflated sense of ego. Not to say they aren’t like. Doing okay for themselves but in some instances I’ve heard stories of how this person was talking about how high value they are and then when I hear their story I kinda go, wow I expected more. Not to say they aren’t doing great but. They’re doing just as great as everybody else. You know what I mean? Most of those people also, from what I’ve noticed. Have deep. Deep. Issues with insecurity that is later revealed. Which leads me to my final point. I think that’s where all this is rooted. It’s a way to validate yourself outwardly because a lot of people shouting out they are high value have been deeply wounded at some point in their lives and now carry this banner as a way to feel powerful.

  • @dess1220
    @dess1220 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I dont think there is a problem with High value man/woman concept. I think the problem is that too many black people define it as some materialistic BS. HVM or HVW should go beyond financial but finances are important. the point of the conversation with this term is to determine which people will add to your life instead of detract from it. marriage is not a boon for BW, why? having children may mean death in childbirth, why? BM who have more money or education are less likely to marry BW, why? for me, it is more about the struggles BW face in dating/life as well as the issues we have with the BM counterpart. the point: however, we define I just want BW to want more for themselves.

  • @zs9710
    @zs9710 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Thank you soooo much for this video 🙌🏾 I’ve had so many frustrations about the femininity community. I feel like what’s being talked about relies on the assumption that black women aren’t already feminine and just this really narrow and limited idea of what femininity and masculinity. When they say woo woo things like balancing masculine energy and feminine energy, I’m like just stop 🤦🏽‍♀️ I heard this one femininity YTer say that she believed that black women would be treated with more respect if more of them thrived in their femininity and were less of the angry, loud stereotype. Like...sis, I don’t think Meghan Markle sitting in her femininity saved her, but ok 🥴

    • @dumfriesspearhead7398
      @dumfriesspearhead7398 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Oh but it has, as she's got away from the RF back to her homeland and doing alright for herself and family. If she'd been a dark skinned black woman, no e of this would have happened of course.

  • @Only_phillysophical
    @Only_phillysophical 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You have blessed my ears with a truth I needed to hear. I work so hard on "bettering myself" but It consistently makes me feel unworthy.
    Ashè

  • @jngfree
    @jngfree 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    A lot of these High-Value individuals will claim it has nothing to do with money, but it always does.

  • @kevingranberry5983
    @kevingranberry5983 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    It is odd that we act like this is purely a Black thing when all throughout time Women have always sought out men who are providers. It is easy to understand how the men who are best providers are the most sought after aka "High Value".

    • @realkr8324
      @realkr8324 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      It's been like that for centuries, in all cultures hack even in the animal kingdom. The difference is the terminology.

    • @kimleemoon
      @kimleemoon 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Men don’t have to make 6-figures to be good providers (“high value”). A man making 6-figures could spend every dime on clothes, cars, jewelry, etc….things that depreciate in value. While a man making $50k is paying all the bills, investing in real estate, contributing to his 401k & savings, etc. High Salary does NOT equal High Wealth!

  • @veliciawilliams5865
    @veliciawilliams5865 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Happy Birthday Jouelzy 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🌸🦋❤️.

  • @youngprincess1128
    @youngprincess1128 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    this is one of the most insightful videos I have seen in a long time. I recently got off social media because I am so tired of seeing wealth be pushed on me. We are in the middle of a global pandemic, I could not continue to watch people portray that they are having the time of their lives.

  • @taginefc3189
    @taginefc3189 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    FYI. Every human being is born with value. We all emerge from the womb worthy of love. If we didn’t allow these Western Man - made systems of determining worth turn us inside out... then something as natural as finding romantic companionship wouldn’t be so contrived & convoluted.

  • @__CJLORRAINE__
    @__CJLORRAINE__ 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Beautifully and so thoughtfully expressed. Sharing this 👌🏾. Thanks so much for your work and general encouragement of us all to think critically, about the world we live in, and about ourselves and how we see ourselves in relation to others (how we treat people and the resulting impact).

  • @monicaDD
    @monicaDD 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    HBD! Thanks for elevating this topic!

  • @grazielaalmeida8438
    @grazielaalmeida8438 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    We become high value when we treat our partners with consideration and really care about them, we have to think more in others then we think in us.

  • @TheL19851000
    @TheL19851000 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Stay Beautiful my sister Jouelzy. I agree with you. I am really disturbed by this disturbing trend about high value man and woman.

  • @lacefrontstbmoth
    @lacefrontstbmoth 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Honestly the high value movement started off with good intentions imo. I mostly heard it from female youtubers trying to uplift other women and stop them from dealing with toxic men. Then of course a toxic man came across one, felt butthurt cuz he didn't meet the qualifications and made a rebuttal/revenge video. Then other males caught on and ran with it. Now that the two genders are fighting it is kinda toxic. I'm not going to disown the movement tho cuz the initial movement was about more than just money or materialistic things. Just a baseline of not being broke and asking the woman for money.

    • @alwaysreliable3
      @alwaysreliable3 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Well said. Thak you for the teaching

  • @higherlearning7651
    @higherlearning7651 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I find it quite interesting how she includes "black queer and trans folks" in the same space as black women. When did this happen?

  • @sekhmet420
    @sekhmet420 3 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    you got a gift girl you clarified so much so easy all this mess thats just been sitting in my mind unexplained

  • @vickipowe1724
    @vickipowe1724 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for your voice and opening my eyes to how deep rooted these issues are; eyes wide open!