ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 ก.ย. 2024
- Autism or shyness? They are different, but they can look the same on the outside. The difference is what's going on inside!
(I feel like I put a lot of jokes or humorous moments in my other autism videos but the truth is it's not a very funny story so I tried to stay tonally serious on this one. Hopefully it paid off. I'm improving maybe? Please let me know.)
Special thanks to Melissa Chen for Asset Animation / / sourlimeart
MY OTHER AUTISM ANIMATIONS:
I’m Autistic, Here’s How People React To My Autism: • I'm Autistic, and Here...
Why I Can't Stop Fidgeting: • Why I Can't Stop Fidge...
Autism Animation Playlist: • I'm Autistic, and Here...
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#autism #animation #autistic
"The air conditioner was too loud for me, my clothes were too itchy, I struggled to put my socks on today, and the only thing that was getting me through this was that I was playing a Sonic the Hedgehog game for the 40th time."
YOU GET IT.
Same, but for me, it is bioshock
arent these just normal people feeligns
kinda but not rlly@@religiousindustrialaliens
I GET ITTT WTF (i’m neurotypical but bro, over sensoring / or being over sensible IS ARRHGHHHG I HAYE IT.
@@religiousindustrialaliensit is
I used to think adults could do no wrong and knew everything... I don't think that anymore
Hi Jesse I learned that when I was 10
I learned that as soon as I saw that my principal was on my side, not the bad sped ed teachers sides, when he refused to force me to wear a jacket when I wasn't cold, and I didn't like wearing long sleeves.
I then knew, if he was their boss and agreed with me... then what does that mean about them?
I learned that around age 4, when an adult accused me of lying and stealing.
Hey bro! I love your content
I always knew they were full of it... well specific ones at least. I kinda thought there were really good ones out there somewhere...
"I can't believe my girlfriend has the same thing as that...freak."
That must have been heartbreaking to hear. You have my condolences, and I hope you're doing better now. Looking through the comments on your videos, I can tell that a lot of people like you, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. There will always be unkind people in the world, so try to focus on the people who make you feel good about yourself.
I would be so mad if someone said that to me or one of my friends, I would genuinely be yelling and cut all contact from them. Ugh it infuriates me how some people are.
"this is exactly what I've been trying to *fix* about you" is f*cked up too
@@FBManimations I was shocked for a second, cuz that’s more of a mother or father thing to say to their ASD kid thing (not that it’s that much better). I had to rewind to verify that it was her boyfriend saying it. Just wow.
I would have been like "not anymore, you no longer have a girlfriend."
@@anticringehero nah bro's electric⚡⚡
I sympathize with this as an autistic person who fears eye contact
Eye contact is scary!! 🫣
@@Cypopps Like when I meet someone I don’t know, I will be looking down and away hunched over in the most uncomfortable position
@@Cypopps Eye contact is one of the worst things in the world, gladly if you have a cat you can watch them instead and maybe the person won't think you're ignoring them, it works for me
@@CypoppsAgreed, I used to have eye contact as a kid, but now it seems awkward ;-;
@@yoshepop same- I was more comfortable with eye contact as a child
I used to get abused for having autism and my teachers would usually poke fun of me infront of the whole class saying things like “now class this kid isn’t who you wanna be like”. It made me feel like I was alone until I met another autistic person and we bonded. Were still friend ls today.
Funny enough, growing up with ADHD I was treated the same by my 4th grade teacher. I had trouble paying attention alot and often spoke out of turn but couldn't help it as in my eyes I saw it as normal. My teacher made fun of me for it and got in front of me almost everyday waving her hand at me saying "hEllOoooOoooo! aRe yOu StILL wItH uS!?" And the whole class just laughing at me. I had no friends and for a long time I didn't know what was wrong with me until I was diagnosed with ADHD in middle school.
Same thing I felt like they saw me the same way and took advantage of me.
I have adhd, and my teachers say the same thing.
I'm so sorry. Ugh this infuriates me. You all dont deserve to be treated like that.
@@LuluDaDodooIts okay bro we all have eachother at least
The autistic friends is something I think about constantly… most of my friends are neurodivergent, and there’s so much comfort in them. It’s only when I interact with others that are deemed “normal” or “popular” that I slowly start to realize that I don’t fit in with many people, and that I don’t interact or behave like the average person does. They don’t always make me feel unwelcome, but there always feels like there’s an understanding that I’m not like them, even if we get along.
i’m so jealous of you ngl. all i wanted was another friend like me but i only knew nuerotypicals
yknow. maybe neurotypical people just suck
That's the weirdest feeling! Like, the people don't necessarily shut you outside or do anything wrong, and neither do you. You're all motivated to get along, you're friendly, polite, do the effort to chat with each others etc. However, even without saying, everyone knows there's this invisible wall between you and them that prevents you from connecting fully and genuinely with them. While you'll connect perfectly with the neurodivergent people and they'll connect perfectly with the neurotypical people. The weirdest feeling, like different cultures that don't mix or something.
ikr! like i still have freinds w/ neurotypicals and neurodivergents and we are super close. but i feel me w neurotypicals, we both now that we just have this difference
I felt this in so manny levels
My parents refuse to this day to believe that I have autism.
They just scream at me and tell me that "the phone is the problem", despite the fact that I barely use my phone
wow that sounds shitty. will your familys insurance cover a diagnosis?
BRO WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE PHONE PARENTS BLAME? Don't they realize they're on their phones even more?
Autism I have too, but ofcourse acting weird is something you learn.
I assume that my own narcissistic mother neglected me into social awkwardness, isolated me into allergies, gaslit me into anxiety and depression, abandoned me into borderline, and was more than happy to let the docs say it was because I have bad genes.
That way, she could blame me, my genes, and the dad she left the moment she found out I was concieved. I have an uncle on his side who was hidden from the world for being "weird," which of course, only made him weirder. Perfect scapegoating opportunity for a neglectful, narcissistic, overworked parent.
But, we're not allowed to say that, because some sexist once attributed the neglect just to moms, as if dads bear no responsibility whatsoever.
Perfect straw man for an establishment that benefits from a growing population of socially inept (and I'm sorry to say, gullible) people.
sounds like my mom complaining . i wanted to do diagnosis too but i have no clue how
as I got diagnosed with autism I had to accept the “shy” label to make it easier in others who couldn’t understand
Yeah I will still say I’m shy sometimes if I don’t feel like getting into a whole discussion about it lol
@@CypoppsA lot of my family is the conservative type and i would rather not try to talk to a brick wall, doesn’t really effect me much especially in my inner circles since I still communicate
I feel like its a term to justify neglect or disinterest in the development of their child.
Everything they said about me wasn’t true. They just needed a scapegoat for their lack of caregiving.
0:46 That info dumping was relatable! It’s literally the “No one:” moment
I was genuinely so captivated by the information that i didn't realized it was weird until the other person call it weird lol
This is so real. To be honest, I have no idea how NTs can just seriously talk about the most boring everyday occurrences or gossip when the world is so fucking fascinating and filled with so much wonder and amazing things to discover. How do they not reali
Like, I do not care about who Patricia is dating, or the cute new girl that Bob is into, or whatever new song came out from whatever generic pop artist, etc.
Let's talk about immortal jellyfishes, and black holes, and population graphs, and WW2 history, and mythology, and videogames, and about how amazing it is that any of us are even alive and can breathe and can think and that we weren't wiped out by previous extinction events or supernovas or gamma ray bursts or solar storms or asteroids.
How unlikely it is to be alive and how miraculous life is, and i'd rather spend my time relishing in this cosmic beauty than learning about your silly gossiping.
@@qwertydavid8070 I care about both who Patricia is dating and the wonders of the universe. These two things aren't mutually exclusive, you know.
@@solar0wind I envy you. Petty human problems just seem so small and insignificant compared to everything else. It's not like I haven't tried, I do try to at least pretend that I care, but it always feels fake and forced. I tried, I really did try, but I simply can't force myself to care, those things just aren't interesting. Which sucks because most people want to talk about those things, which means I'm always stunted socially.
Yep. And now I'm a communist, lol.
The idea of socializing through a filter is so real. I was always the one to listen in school, so people who felt ignored latched onto me like flies on fly paper. They felt this connection that didn't exist, because it was a very one sided relationship. The social balance was way off, and they didn't really know me. Which made it awkward when I would grow apart and they would feel abandoned. It makes it really difficult to be my real self now, even with my genuine friends, bc all I needed to do growing up was smile and listen. I don't really know how to talk anymore.
The worst part is when you actually get really attached to those sorts of people, so you try to reciprocate by ALSO sharing your own problems and hardships. Of course, inevitably, they get weirded out or uncomfortable by your problems, and they slowly start to distance themselves from you.
To be entirely fair, I get it. You really shouldn't trauma-dump on people. But it sucks because when people get close to you they just PRY AND PRY to get something out of you. It's only human, they just want to get to know you better at the end of the day. The problem is that I don't really have the same sort of silly problems or slight annoyances to share.
My personal life is, frankly, very depressing. I carry a lot of emotional baggage with me, it's always on my mind.
This is why phrases like "just say what you think" are extremely misguided. I get where they're coming from, for the average person just sharing what they're thinking is a legitimate strategy that works. Because their problems are also relatable to the average person, so it all evens out.
And worse, the only other thing that's on my mind apart from my internal trauma, is just random facts or analyses about the world around me. I'm just not really paying attention to "what stacy is wearing" or "the cute girl from chemistry" or "the chick with the rich parents". My mind is just not really occupied with the stereotypical social things, which SUCKS because that's the type of stuff that people expect you to talk about. In the end, you really can only have sincere and honest social interactions with people that are also like you, and those people will always be the minority and harder to find.
Your life will always be a little bit lonelier than than that of the average person. And "talking more" or "going to parties" won't fix it, because that's not the problem. The real problem is that you just simply can't relate to normal social people who lived normal lives, you simply can't, because you're simply not normal. You're different, and no matter how much you try to conform to them, you'll always be reminded of it. It'll always feel fake, they'll always be better at it than you ever could.
Sorry for the essay, I guess I just had to let my thoughts out..I hope you at least related to it too!!
@@qwertydavid8070That was a very sad read.
I feel bad for you.
And good comment.
So, can you give me a random fact about the world that is on your mind?
I just Want to see what you know.
@@AldinRamic Haha, I couldn't really come up with anything on the spot like that, it kinda just happens I guess. I can't really just pull out facts like that, but I guess I can try.
Well, I was actually thinking of something interesting recently, about photons. I recently learned in school about newton's equation for force "f=m*a", and we had to do a lot of conceptual problems regarding it.
It was interesting to notice how both mass and acceleration affect the force. For example, a bullet has very little mass, but because that little mass gets multiplied by an extremely high acceleration, the force becomes very strong!
Similarly, an object with very little acceleration can still exert a great amount of force if it has a great mass, for example road roller. It goes very slowly, but due to it's high weight it could easily crush your bones.
This, consequently, got me thinking about instances where either the acceleration or weight were zero. If an object is not moving, it has no force, because any number multiplied by zero, is just zero!
So then, what if the mass is zero? Nothing has zero mass, obviously, is what I thought. But then I remember that photons, the particles of light, are actually massless. It's a fact I always hear when photons are mentioned, so of course, I deducted that the force a photon would exert on any object would be zero, since they have no mass.
However, things weren't adding up. Because I've always heard about how "light-sails" are a thing, how you can power a space craft by having a giant sail that gets pushed by solar wind. But that didn't make sense, how the hell could the craft be moved if the force was zero??
I looked up into it, and it led my down a fascinating rabbit hole. Basically, it has to do with quantum mechanics and the weird properties of objects that move at the speed of light. Apparently, photons have something called "virtual mass", that they get from their kinetic energy. The best explanation I found is that newton's equation is incomplete. It works for most simple classical problems, but when you start talking about subatomic particles, it's a whole different world that requires different physics to explain it. In this case, there's apparently another formula for force that is more robust and allows things that are massless to still exert a force, somehow. This was a satisfying enough answer to me, as I admittedly had trouble understanding the explanations I found, since anything related to quantum mechanics gets really technical really fast.
I am not smart enough to comprehend nor explain any of this,
I only understand this at a very basic surface level, so encourage you to read more about it on your own!
There are lots of science journals out there that make this sort of information digestible to the average person.
This was just a random internet rabbit hole I fell into, I tend to have little explorations like this on random topics of this sort multiple times per day. My google search history is just filled with the most random questions, if you're okay with it I could even share a bit of them lol.
@@qwertydavid8070Nice, tho this was a month ago and you didn't get a teply, but maybe the other person had just too many messages.
@@qwertydavid8070 I forgot to respond to this sorry it's been like a month wow
super interesting I would like to hear more
this reminds me of another comment I read about how autistic people are just information and they thought they were easier to talk with than neurotypical people
I would like to hear more maybe we should find a way to contact each other?
maybe that's not a good idea I know too many people and I get the feeling that you're not the very social type?
either way this was nice!
For 15 years everyone thought I was just shy, at most socially anxious. I didn’t really mask, my autistic traits just weren’t really recognizable (I know it’s not a preferred term anymore, but the best way to put it is that I’m _very_ high functioning). Then I saw Illymation’s first autism video, and realized the things she was talking about were… unreasonably relatable. A year later I got diagnosed. Videos like this are so important- if they didn’t exist, I never would’ve known what was up, and wouldn’t have been able to get the support I need (I was even in therapy for like 6 months before I realized, and my _licensed therapist_ didn’t recognize that I was autistic). Thanks for making this. :)
I’m glad to hear the videos people post online are helping!
I have autism too (I'm also really high functioning, nobody can tell unless I say something)
I used to stim a lot more, however. I was diagnosed at the age of five. I also have ADD and anxiety on top of that.
I'm glad you got diagnosed. I had to switch school districts because my old district treated me badly. I needed better support.
Anyway, I finally have the support I needed. I hope you're doing good, too :)
if you want an alternative to high functioning, use low support! :D
The ilymation video also helped me figure out i was autistic. :]
Exactly the same. Except i had been seen by 10 different therapists since i was 2. Therapists seem to study very little about autism during college worldwide; no shame on the therapists themselves, but rather the education they get. And also some symptoms, like struggling with relationships, can be seen as symptoms of other issues you may have that caused you to seek a therapist; which has been my case so far, but it'd be nice if they were more willing to take concerns of autism seriously or do research themselves.
And despite of the improved awareness about autism, i still regularly have issues with relationships or my environment because of autism, that are blamed on me by people fully aware i have autism. Earlier today, someone in my friend group wasn't directly saying they don't want to do X activity while making plans, and instead would say that i don't realize it's impratical or they'd ignore it as an option; and then while one friend ended up telling me the reason we crossed out X was because they didn't want to do that, another group member told me it was obvious and i should've took the clue. And upon bringing up autism, they shut down the conversation, when autism or not, people shouldn't have to guess what someone else means.
I also still often hear some idiots throwing around the term autist as an insult, as if it meant weirdo or stupid. Thankfully a few listened to my explanation of what autism actually is, so it's both concerning they didn't find out until that day despite having the freedom to look it up themselves or reassuring they're open minded enough to try and listen.
" The adults also hated me. " I felt that😢
too real 😢
Very relatable 🫤
It's not my fault they're wrong most of the time lol
Due to my autism, people everywhere will still not know what by disabilities are, and they end up judging me if I am in their way.
THEY NEED TO KNOW THAT WE ARE PEOPLE, TOO!!!! I FEEL CRITICIZED WHEN THEY JUDGE ME EVEN IN THE SLIGHTEST!!!!
I have anger/anxiety issues, and I'm barely getting the treatment I want.
Watch out for the narcissists. They are the most likely to dehumanize.
@@Solscapes. Those fucking people.
God damnit.
4:52 That part was SO triggering because i had a boyfriend who openly tied to "fix" me, but i feel so seen!! This video is SO IMPORTANT
what I wanna know is if the boyfriend actually said that. "I just wanna talk to him"
seriously though, one of my ex-bfs felt like the perfect time to tell me he wasn't attracted to me was in the middle of sex. also sorry to hear about that ex, it's all shitty all around
"This is like a list of all the things I keep trying to fix about you"
Look, I'm a single man with a light case of aspergers, and *_even I_* am savvy enough to know that sounds disturbingly wrong -- regardless of whether he meant it or not.
Sorry but what is a "light case of asperger's" 😭
@@ashleyredsheep opposite of a heavy case, duh
@@ashleyredsheepi think he meant low support needs autism
Uhmm, aspergers does not exist 😭😭
@ashleyredsheep diagnosed before people realised all these things were all part of neurodiversity.
That part with your boyfriend calling you a freak hit in all of the worst ways. I've never had a significant other, but I've had the same kinds of things said about me my whole life. I was a bit different in a few ways. I was simultaneously loved and hated by adults. I was somehow too immature and "an old soul", rude and incredibly polite, and annoying, but also a joy to be around. These statements came from the same people depending on the day. I was diagnosed much later in life. Despite getting along better with autistic people for years, it wasn't until I was about 34 that I realized* that I might have it, and 35 when I got my diagnosis. I'm also a guy, but I just ended up hearing comments suggesting that I wasn't a "real man". Until I was diagnosed, I was always in this perpetual no man's land of being too strange to be considered normal, but too normal for people to realize I had real problems. I was often accused of lying about my sensory issues or making up other issues to get attention. At best I had people think I was normal with some quirks, but at worst relentless bullying and even credible death threats.
This video was great btw. It needed the more serious tone. Overall, I think you've found a good balance between being able to be serious and able to have levity.
*That realization scared me immensely. So much so, that I tried desperately to prove the hypothesis wrong. That didn't work out obviously. By the time I was diagnosed I was extremely relieved to have an answer.
Hello, sorry to bug you 😅
.
I am a female of middle age(undiagnosed)
Was your diagnosis helpful in a social sense?
I am apprehensive about pursuing a diagnosis...the fear of making things worse is all to real and realistic.
(It's totally OK to not answer my question. I don't want to be intrusive 😅 either way have a great day 😊)
@@whowhat.wherewhen Your question doesn't bug me at all, and I don't consider it intrusive. There is always a chance of making things worse*, but I was rather fortunate. For me, it has made understanding myself and explaining some of my issues to others easier. It has also helped majorly with Impostor Syndrome. Most people I talked to about my diagnosis have been extremely supportive. If people are going to treat you badly over a diagnosis, that is a good sign they aren't worth being around.
*Some places are not as accepting of people with autism. In such places, having diagnosis can be heavily detrimental. I have heard this is pretty bad in several East Asian and Southeast Asian countries for example.
I dont blame you, I also have autism
Sometimes it feels rough when your forced to get along with someone your to shy to know
The masking part just hits so hard. Most autistic kids were taught by the people around them saying they were weird, annoying, rude, etc., so they taught themselves to mask
My personal experience was that my stepmum taught me to mask. She taught me to be ashamed of myself. She taught me that everyone would make fun of me for being myself. And with that, she made me hate being autistic. I was constantly looking for a cure because she basically taught me that my disability was like a curse. It took YEARS for me to love and accept myself as an autistic person, but all I can say right now is thank God I do, because it boosted my confidence. It boosted my mental health. It just... boosted me
To anyone out there who is still masking: Don't be afraid to show your true colours. You're perfect just the way you are. There are people who will make fun of you for who you are, but there are also people who will love and accept you for who you are. People you can relate to. People you can be colourfully yourself with. You'll find them eventually, it just takes time
I don’t know how to stop masking! Even when I try, I’m just met with a lower maintenance mask. Social expectations and unnatural trained behavior under the guise of “politeness” are so deep ingrained within me that I don’t know how to undo it. I only stem when I’m not aware of it or when I’m making a point to let myself. I make excessive iContact, because apparently my parents trained me as a toddler to stare at peoples eyeballs when they’re talking to me because I would not truly avoid doing so. So when someone’s talking to me now, I automatically stare at them only blinking about 2 or 3 times a minute. I only break Eye Contact when I’m tired, or mentally struggling. The worst part is my parents taught me how to mask deliberately. I got diagnosed when I was in preschool. They didn’t tell me until I figured it out on my own when I was 13. What ironic is I’m certain that both of them are Neurodivergent in different ways. My dad closer to me neurologically. But this is an impossible topic with him, because he has a strange self sacrifice complex when it comes to relationships. He masks at all times because he sees it as his duty. As if it were the bare minimum to interact socially. Obviously, he has a high stress level. Taking that self sacrifice attitude to an extreme he could be in pain or discomfort for days before telling me because he doesn’t want to be a burden or a downer. This is all quite sad for him but unfortunately, he expects me to do the same; or at least he thinks I would be a better person if I did.
@@rangercommandervelvlarumai7589Jesus, I'm really sorry to hear that. I wish I could help you, but unfortunately idk how to help in a situation like this as it took years to get over my own masking issues.
All I can say is that you'll learn to stop masking eventually, it just takes time (usually a long time)
I mean... Autistic people are weird.
i still hate my autism
i don't even know if i'm stimming or not anymore... that's how long i've been masking
This is why it is way more comfortable for me to be alone. I can be friendly with people and the things I say get passed off as a joke usually, but I cannot be fully comfortable with anyone. It is so tiring to feel that way, but I truly am not safe unless I hide. I wish people would leave me be, but they're so hung up on how you say things or trying to interpret what you mean instead of actually listening.
I feel like in a sense being autistic and being shy do overlap. I often put up a mask with people at first, but it depends how comfortable I am with people. I am autistic but I mask my autism so people don’t just see me as anything but a normal person. It feels like a defense mechanism in a way. Love your cute videos as always Cy. I’m learning a lot from these :] ❤🖤
Yes they definitely do overlap! Yet are different ! :>
The "adults hating you" thing was too real. In the church I grew up in, I was pretty regularly bullied by peers, and nearly every time adults would just back them up instead of doing anything about it. I was explicitly told that it was "sinful" for me to not be constantly engaged in tiring social activities in the church community. I ended up moving schools early in elementary school because my teacher had a vendetta for me and would keep me in from recess every single day as punishment. It's one thing to get bullied, but it kind of fucks you up when adults are acting like they're _right_ to bully you. You're never told what it is that you've done wrong, or why you deserve any of it, you're just made to feel that something about you made you deserving of it.
Meanwhile, concerns like lights being too bright, or certain materials being extremely unpleasant to touch, are ignored and you're told you're "overreacting" or that "everyone deals with it but you're the only one complaining". I had almost no comfortable clothes until the middle of highschool because my parents would act like I was overreacting when I told them that certain clothes I had were uncomfortable. So I learned that what I feel isn't important and I should just repress everything, to the point that it became my brain's automatic behavior. This kind of treatment permanently damages your ability to understand or feel emotions in a healthy way. I've had to put in a lot of effort just to get to a point where I can sometimes tell _why_ something feels wrong, oftentimes I don't consciously identify anything and just end up depressed or extremely anxious for an extended period of time.
I wasn't diagnosed with autism until later, but unless I'm putting in effort to hide it, people can "tell" there's something "off" about me.
Those church goers should be ashamed, no one should be bullied, or pointed out just because they don't want to join in social activities, which is ultimately not the point of the service. Though I understand some churches are less friendly then others. I have Gods' grace that mine is as welcoming as it is.
💜 Similar story here. Choir boy, bullied by peers and adults and mom. Regularly got punished in gradeschool for being beaten up. It's narcissism (not the same as npd).
We are easy targets for peoples' sadistic attempts at obtaining narcissistic supply, at least in my case, in part because I was conditioned to be a good little enabler.
"I outgrew my autism."
No, Trevor. You still have it, you've just gotten dependent on masking, dude. 😅
That's unfortunate. It's not really that funny. Maybe they just have to learn to better manage their symptoms. I have a mother who wouldn't do that, it was often difficult to live with
I have Autism, and I can relate to some of this. My first couple of years in secondary school weren't smooth - I had primary teachers who couldn't connect with me very well. It made for some frustrating memories that look like child abuse in hindsight. But the past is behind me, what's important now is the present.
I was diagnosed in middle school. Everyone who knew started treating me differently. My mom especially. She treats me like I'm broken. It takes time for me to get comfortable in new situations, so when I moved to be closer to her and my dad, her idea by the way, she got upset that I wasn't going out like I used to. Of course now I can't due to my health, so now she'll make me feel bad by pointing out how other people with my health issues have jobs. I can only hold a part-time job to begin with!
At least you have a job
@@RandomSkyeRoses Well I had a job, but until my health gets better I can't work. But even neurotypical people stopped working while on dialysis. Please take care of your kidneys.
@@saphiriathebluedragonknight375 Where did you work previously? Was it minimum wage? If you still need money while on dialysis, there are jobs you can do from home such as medical billing and coding
@@saphiriathebluedragonknight375 Where did you work previously? Have you tried to learn medical billing and coding? The job is flexible and you could work from home
@@saphiriathebluedragonknight375 I hope you get better
I believe I may be autistic and I'm scared others will think I'm faking or something cuase I've seemed "normal" all my life. I'm supposed to be going and seeing a professional soon so we'll see if my suspicions are true.
Same
Me as well and my therapist is helping out with it my mom says I have adhd but never had gotten that checked for me I show autism and adhd traits I have autistic and neurodivergent friends as well and you’re not alone :)
I say the same, but my parents would say that I’m normal. I’ve told them about it in a subtle way. “Am I normal?” Type of question, and my dad would be confused on why I would ask that. My mom on the other hand, I’ve asked. “Do you believe in mental illnesses?” And she said yes, but “They’re excuses that people in the world would say to excuse their behavior.”
Of course, I have lots of context behind these. This is not all of the story, and my parents aren’t any knowledgeable of mental Illnesses.
My parents know about how other people would behave if they have something ‘wrong’ with them, but it seems that my symptoms are very subtle. Rather, subtle to people that aren’t informed of it.
I may be just “trying to find an excuse” and claiming that I am Autistic (or Audhd, because I have ADHD symptoms aswell.), which I am not really doing so. I prefer to keep quiet, but the internet would be a ‘safer’ and informative place where no one would really be ignorant about these type of things.
I have this sensitivity to lights that other people don’t quite understand as they think that it’s just light. I have certain textures that I wouldn’t like at all. My skin is sensitive, and if it would make me stimulated, my emotions would go out of my control. Then after my outburst, I would completely shut down.
Whenever I come home, I’d close all the curtains, the lights, and the doors. Having the fan slightly away from me as I would be in my fluffy blanket.
My mom said that it’s bad for me because my eyes are already blurry, but I can’t help it. I get upset easily if things aren’t in places that I would want them to be.😅
I’d end it here, because I’ve been told that I write too long and that they’re lazy to read. So, if you do think so, I apologize. 🙂
Have a nice day.
@@AJTheShawgI FEEL THE EXACT SAME WAY WHAT?? EVERY LAST WORD??
@@smal5504 Haha, I wouldn’t be surprised if we lived the same lives/j XD
This is actualy relatable, I have Aspergers and anxiety, I got diagnosed when I was 5, and I was the most extroverted kid in from k-4, but once I got into fifth grade I realize that people have grown up and matured, so I decided the best option was to be the quiet kid, this video touched me, and taught me a lot, thanks for making this video👍🙂.
You've done a great job, Cypopps! I was diagnosed at a young age, but masking was something I still dealt with. I'm glad to see you're in a better place and it's okay to feel nervous. If people like you then good on them. If not they didn't deserve you anyway. You're amazing as you are and just keep being you.
Thank you!!! ❤️
@@Cypopps I'm glad to see you make a video again. I enjoy watching them!
The earliest thing I that happened to me that was a sign of autism was, when I was younger during all the fire drills the alarm would go off and I’d just cover my ears. Teachers told me to stop but my ass didn’t really care. When I was actually diagnosed my parents brought that up as a trigger thing and I just kept saying “Wait didn’t everyone do that?” I thought everyone found it loud and annoying. I’m 14 now and while I have VERY bad anxiety issues I won’t go into. But I accepted really easily that I’m autistic. Great video
Wait not everyone covers their ears during the loud blaring fire alarms?! Uh-
Depending on how loud the decibels are
This is honestly one of these NT superpowers that will never cease to amaze me. The fact that they can just ignore loud blaring noises like that. I have no idea how they can tolerate concerts, parties, crowds, etc. Even restaurants can be a bit overwhelming, and they are just completely chill with that. As if there weren't a million different noises all happening at the same time and overwhelming you from each direction.
How freaking lucky they are, to just be able to filter out all that over-stimulation like that.
that's really weird because yeah. everyone DOES do that. it seems like literally everyone was gaslighting you there. shit sucks.
EDIT: Not about being autistic, but about it being exclusive to autistic people.
Not everybody covers their ears?!?!?
I don’t have autism, but I had social anxiety. I was literally too scared to even talk and do anything, but at least I’m way better now.
the social anxiety can sometimes hit like a truck. There have been instances where hiding or fleeing the scene were the only options.
In highschool, I would have to write things down to communicate with others because I was that scared to talk. Similarly, it got better later on in life, but a lot of effort, pain, and regret had to come beforehand.
This felt really familiar. Thanks for posting this. Autistic creators sharing their experiences really helps with the impostor syndrome
4:53 "This is like a list of all the things i keep trying to fix about you."
and here i am inspired by the lowest point in my life to create emotionally vulnerable art. I was always under the impression that i had to be a mindless machine with no personality to speak of, and now i live in constant paranoia about what would happen if i took the mask off and started being myself, hell even TH-cam restricts my actions because of how i word things when i leave a comment on a video.
I relate to this so much. I usually don’t talk very much because my interests are so niche that I don’t feel comfortable talking with anyone about them. I don’t really know anyone who would be able to listen to me describe the entire Skylanders franchise or whatever Breakcore I’ve been listening to recently in depth. I just don’t feel like there’s anyone I personally know who really gets me. At least there’s always the internet and videos like this.
Thing is even with other autistic people is not easy to get along. I'm never comfortable to talk about my niche interests either unless the person i'm talking to mentions them beforehand
Every time I hear someone else's stories about their autism, it really sheds a light on just how lucky I am that I was was supported and encouraged throughout my childhood. I was called weird and all those other things, but people liked that and had fun with my random ramblings about obscure topics. They would engage with my interests and encourage my obsessive hyperfixations. All autistic people should have this kind of support and encouragement. I shouldn't be considered "lucky" for having a good environment growing up. It's really upsetting.
Even before I could do basic math, I struggled with sensory issues. When my preschool class watched a movie together, I cried and covered my ears, but when we read the book version, I sat and listened attentively and excitedly. And yet the only thing my doctors, friends, family saw as I grew older was a kid with social anxiety. The earliest I remember masking is around second grade (6-7 years old), and I suppose it makes sense now why everyone just saw me as the shy one. This video is relatable on so many levels.
A bit off topic fun fact: Eye contact actually goes against natural behavior of our ancestors. Eye contact was viewed as an act of aggression or challenge. Our culture of modern civilization now take it as a sign of respect.
In the west, anyway. The lands of lead poisoning.
Did you just explain my whole life in a video what the fuck.
I am happy to have someone relate! It is a hard experience but it’s nice to know others out there have had similar!
You also explained my life as well
When I started going to middle school, I was promoted from "The Shy Kid" to "The Quiet Kid".
It got people to leave me alone, so I suppose it was a good thing.
_Info: Autistic + bonus ADHD_
I learned I was autistic right before moving into high school, apparently I was already diagnosed and my family already knew. Except no one knew what it meant, I was threatened to be put in a mental institution whenever I had a meltdown, even some at home thought my behaviours are weird, my mom even to this day thinks teaching me how to behave like others do will make me fall in line with those behaviours. Heck, up to this point I thought I was shy, and although I may be introverted, everyone reacts the same even when I explain myself and that’s why I grow silent. It’s a seed that was planted since birth, my melt downs caused me to distance myself from friends, I choose not to say anything cause I know what happens when I do. The only ones who know the real me are the ones who shared these tribulations all before, just in different ways. I’m often told I don’t care what people think, and I don’t, but I care not to cause problems so I l lock everything regardless of meaning in my own Pandora’s Box, only ones who can handle what lies inside can open it.
Wow... Your family members are a bunch of fools
Very relatable, I don’t know whether or not I have autism, but I do know how it feels to not want to talk because you’re afraid of ruining what little social interaction you’ve managed to achieve. I have a fear of socializing yes, but it has a very strong foundation built on years of rejection and isolation.
5:02 oh my god dude that hit hard. the face cracking... i literally felt that in my soul
This happened to me with social anxiety. My parents were convinced I was being overdramatic with my panic attacks.
I can relate... I feel like I'm in a place where my anxiety is so bad that its destroying my life, my health, productivity, relationships and happiness, but I'm so anxious about leaving my comfort zone and doing anything about it that just taking the first step working towards change is enough to send me into a deep depression. I haven't had panic attacks in a few years but the obsessive "worrying" alone is enough to derail my life. My dad doesn't even understand why I have meltdowns over "little" things and it must look so odd and frustrating to a non-anxious person.
It's so bad that I've strongly considered neurodivergence as being a cause or as exacerbating it.
In six minutes, you've basically just described my life.
I’ve always been seen as shy, but I never thought of myself that way. I knew I was quite a lot but never thought of it as being shy. I’ve also been thinking that im autistic for a while now. The dots are starting to connect!
I myself am a very anti-social person and diagnosed on the spectrum. But it is very important that many autistic people have a social heart and desire.
I kept getting this recommended to me but after watching it it feels almost therapeutic in a way..
As of writing this I have nightmares and constant depressive thoughts about my time in school. trying to be friendly but always being alone; wondering what is wrong with me and where did I mess up?
Having people ask how my day was or what my opinion is and as I got to answer having them turn their backs to me walking away or talking to someone else. being treated as subhuman or as a object is something I thought about a lot.
Now I don't really want to go outside anymore or think about the past but it's hard not to.
only getting along with other autistic people is so real, the only friend i have thats not is my childhood friend with adhd
3:20 this part where you talk about your hobbies was scarily accurate to the things I did back then before I had a diagnosis. I was a huge zoology buff who would try to learn as many different animal facts as possible, I kept a journal where I would write down my notes for games I like and eventually that evolved into me redisigning almost every game I've ever played on paper, and I write songs for the piano, but I never even learned to read the sheet music properly.
I dont have autism, however i have been diagnosed with ADHD since the 6th grade, and now that im 19 into adulthood, it feels as if it gets worse as you age. Its difficult for me to have conversations with new people because just like you, i know they wont like my real self. I often stutter because i have a speech impediment and get made fun of for it. So i often isolate myself from others just to avoid those things.
I'm with you, brother! As an autistic teen, I say that you should resist the urge to mask your 'disabilities' and show them the real you. And if they reject you, that's their fault!
Used to be introverted. By age 16, I was like "screw this" and started saying and doing whatever I wanted. Complete extrovert now with a bunch of crazy insane friends.
I love it.
btw, keep uploading. You're a better channel than Illymations.
Nice to read this. Good.
The hell did she do?
Iirc she had beef w a youtuber about body positivity @@DeathnoteBB
@@emilpersidski She had no beef, the other guy was super pressed.
I wonder how different it is being diagnosed with Autism as a child vs as an adult. I was diagnosed at the age of 5 in Kindergarten (back when Asperger's Syndrome was the term/phrase). Though I didn't personally find out that I had it until I was in 8th grade (age 13), and the way I found out was through eavesdropping in a conversation between my mom and the SPED specialist at my middle school at the time. But living through it as an adult, knowing that I have been having it, surely I have come to accept that I'm into my hobbies and that I'm not the best at socializing, but I try. Though it is a bit easier with people who also have autism, or at least understand how to communicate with people like us. Not treating us like aliens or outcasts, but actually sitting down to listen to what we have to say without judging (hopefully).
That's pretty similar to my experience. I was diagnosed at age three, so I never had that 'nagging feeling' phase. I also never realized people's opinions on me (or against me) and went on with my life through elementary and high school. However, I did have increasingly intense phases of self-consciousness and self-actualization. I found out from my parents about my being autistic at 15, but it wasn't until my twenties that I found out what being autistic meant to the way I think and perceive and what it meant to the way others perceive me. That and moving to a new town where I barely had time to meet anyone new before the Unprecedented Times hit and people hated on me for wearing a literal mask did not help matters. Neither did having the police stop me (thrice) while searching my dorm room (twice) in college. Nor the rest of my family seemingly keeping their distance from me socially.
Despite having the early diagnosis, I'm still new at understanding my neurotype. I have met a few autistic people through college, but not nearly enough to dissipate the stereotypes of 'slobby kids' I have in my head. And as much as I like finding these experiences of people being diagnosed as adults, my experience makes me feel left out as all I can find in a Go-Ogle search is 'autistic adults who have been diagnosed after getting their kids diagnosed' rather than 'autistic adults who were diagnosed at the age of childhood'. I still feel left out even among my supposed 'community'.
Hopefully I get a job soon to at least give me something to do. ADA help me.
When I tell someone they are annoying, I get called rude
this is like the twentieth video about neurodivergence that i've found relatable
i think my previous idea that i'm neurotypical is falling apart
happy autism acceptance month!!! :D
The childhood part is so relatable
I was diagnosed at 19 years old so this completely resonates with me. I always thought i was just shy because of kids that told me mean things. At home or with people i knew well i was a totally different person. I was scared of being ridiculed for anything i did so when i changed school i never spoke to anyone not even teachers until i graduated and got out of here. There's nothing worse than feeling like a failure when it's really not your fault. Hope you keep making these kind of videos.
Was it easiwr or quite hard to not speak to people in your school? Sorry if this os too personal or too late.
@@turkoositerapsidi No that's fine, i had a phobia of talking to people in my school, because i was scared of what they would think of me or judgement (school people are mean), so i just never spoke to anyone.
@@Daniele63 Thank for info. Hope you are doing fine now.
@@turkoositerapsidi Yep. I'm not scared of talking to people anymore, though i still try to avoid starting conversations with people i do not know
@@Daniele63 I see, I hope I did not bother you too much with the comments I did choose to delete, because I felt like you may not have been interested or I was not comfortable to leave them on internet. I just thought that I might have been able to understand your situation a bit, even tho it was not like that extreme at all for me.
At least in my culture it's usually thought of rude to just go random people and talk too much in most situations.
Sorry if that was too disturbing, I can write English, but was the wording understandable? And nice pokémon Celebi picture by the way.
Yeah this is right.
I found myself playing the same ninjago flashgame for the 40th time whilst when i spoke, my parents would call me rude and say I wasn't normal.
I love this video. As a child who grew up (and is growing up) with autism, it's been, and was, really hard for me. Especially since my mom didn't want me to be autistic because she has it from genetics.
I was never a social person, I was always laughed at and made fun of for "talking too much" (aka, I blabbed on and on about things that interested me a bit too much) and I was never socially.. in the norm. I was always called ""shy"" by my parents because I hated eye contact, talking with people, communicating properly, and generally just preferred being alone with my stuffed animals or my siblings or nature.
I never liked, and still hate, eye contact; I was never able to autonomously adjust into social norms; and I would literally break down into panic attacks/temper tantrums from certain itchy clothes or things like that. My mom finally admitted I was autistic a few years ago and helped me with my etiquette issues, but I felt a bit worse knowing I was autistic.
I am still discovering new things about myself that reassure me and make me feel more understood as a human being.
We need more autism awareness. Kids like myself shouldn't have to live their lives growing up in fear that nobody will like them, or that adults will ridicule and make fun of them. It's awful.
We need real organizations for this sort of thing, so more autistic children don't have to grow up like us.
Sorry for the book, I got a bit caught up here.
I feel weird because I can't relate to the introverted and shy experience other autistic women go through. I'm extremely outgoing but instead I'm perceived as an ice queen (despite the fact I'm outgoing, friendly, and smile a lot). I do think to some point, all of us autistic women share the common experience of feeling like we don't fit in, like permanent culture shock.
Nope, not just you. 22 year old Aspie-lad here and the "permanent culture shock" thing is one that hit WAY too deep as soon as i read it. Saving that for later lol.
Oof. That bit where the kids left you because you were talking about animal facts hit too hard, back in 5th grade a new kid transferred to our school and I was feeling isolated since during this new school year my friends were all in different classes than me and most of the other kids either didn't like me or I thought I was weird so I thought it'd be easier to make friends with this new kid since he didn't know anything about me. For a few weeks I was sitting next to him at lunch every day and talking to him until one day I was telling him about how dolphins die (which in hindsight, probably isn't the best fact to share with someone who you met just recently) and I just remember him shouting at me to stop talking to him about things like that, he stopped sitting by me and I didn't really talk to anyone for the rest of the year at lunch. It really stuck with me because I thought that we had become friends. (Me and the kid are on better terms now, we're much older and I told him about this story a few months ago and he said he didn't remember and apologized)
I didn't get my ASD diagnoses until I was 35 years old. My Narcissistic Father refused to believe there was anything different with me. I was supposed to become his basketball star son. I thought I was just an introvert. I struggle with social situations, it takes about a year for me to be comfortable with new people. I commiserate with your experiences, I had many like them. I am blessed though. I found a job that loves me for my quirks. I also found patient friends who help me socialize. I also find most people are super understanding if I'm open and willing. The hardest part is I feel nearly burnt out by the time I make it home from work, errands or anything outside my routines. Thank you for sharing your experiences, I'm happy we are not alone.
Got autism and social anxiety and it’s not the most fun. My mom thought I had autism and wanted me to get diagnosed but didn’t get the diagnosis. My sister got diagnosed with autism a few years back and my mom asked if I wanted to also go and get diagnosed. Growing up I didn’t have to many problems with having friends and I had alot of friends and different friend groups but lately I’ve gotten more and more “shy” or scared of being judged. I’ve always had kind of a hard time maintaining friendships and calling or texting people I also used to isolate myself a lot (still do) and I think I was depressed as a kid but didn’t get the diagnosis and I still think I’m somewhat depressed but I can maintain it pretty well. As a kid I always thought I had ADHD but I don’t have the diagnosis and I still sometimes suspect I do have it and I never suspected I had autism. When I got the diagnosis I was just like “okay cool I guess”.
As someone with autism I feel like I have a lot in common with the X-Men and the outsider characters in other media
1. People call me a freak a lot more often than you'd think
2. There's still people that are uncomfortable and Strait up don't like people like me
3.And Tom Kenny(the voice actor of Spongebob)said in an interview that having Autism is your superpower.....Also SpongeBob is confirmed to have autism by the way so that's another win for the community
I got my Autism (Asperger's) diagnosis when I was 25. It wasn't really a surprise per se, more like an, "Oh, that's why. That makes sense," moment. I figured out I was different when I was 7, and never told anyone.
When I started socializing with a lot of other kids in first grade (age 7 in my country) I noticed eventually that no matter if I was myself or tried to fit in and act the same as the other kids a lot of my social interactions with my peers exploded in my face, often with them getting mad at me, despite me doing and saying the same as I observed other kids doing and saying (that got them positive results). Or at least I thought I was doing and saying the same things, as far as I was able to tell.
After I figured that out I spent what felt like a long time observing other people's interactions, as well as experimenting with my own, and it seemed like everyone else was insane. After some reflection I reasoned that it was more likely that I was insane rather than, what seemed to be, everyone else on the planet.
So, I set about learning their ways. Studying, conducting social interaction experiments, making and testing hypotheses, the whole shebang. From the age of 7.
The more I learned the more I saw that there was to learn, but I persued my goal of understanding the insanity of normal people with obsessive zeal.
. . . Actually, right up until this moment when I was writing this I thought I hadn't had an Autistic "special interest," but it just occurred to me that understanding neurotypical people's thought process, feelings, and social interactions might have been, and still is, my "special interest." I have spent my entire life on it, spending every free moment that I wasn't doing anything else from age 7 to age 15 on it. Literally sitting quietly for 6-8 hours a day during a lot of those years just thinking it through, running scenarios in my head, etc. Huh.
Anyway, as I said, I spent a lot of time, my best estimate is 20 000 hours+ during my life, just thinking about how other people's minds worked, plus constant observation and experimentation during my day, all in an effort to understand, fit in, and succeed in life.
I used to have a lot of difficulty in fitting in, in communicating, and in understanding what other people meant when they spoke. It's rare that I have such issues now, but they still come up, maybe once every other year. There is still the rare social interaction that explodes in my face or doesn't go the way I intend for it to go.
I had sensory issues, but as with everything else I saw it as an obstacle to overcome, not something I should accept. Those issues never went away, but I . . . well, essentially tortured myself with them until I developed coping strategies that allowed me to disregard them and function at or near normal capacity regardless of sensory stimulus, pain (physical and non-physical), stress, distraction, or anything else. I even spent years grinding myself down to the bone mentally in order to train in the ability to choose what I focus on and also eventually to multitask.
And then there's my efforts to control, moderate, and understand my own insane, extreme, explosive, haywire emotions. The best method I found turned out to be a near copy of cognitive behavioral therapy. Yes, it is a (not so) humble brag of mine that I independently invented CBT on my own before age 12. (I am allowed to feel proud of my legit achievements, alright?)
My childhood and early adulthood was a combination of brutal and hellish bootcamp combined with the sort of long term reasearch you do for a college master's degree, all of it self-inflicted.
All of it in the effort to fit in, function, and succeed in neurotypical society.
People throughout my life have told me that I'm one of the smartest people they've every met. People throughout my life have told me that I am an excellent communicator. People throughout my life have told me that I am one of the calmest and most level-headed people they have ever met.
None of that is innate. I fought, struggled, worked, cried, and bled my way towards being something like the person I wanted to be.
And all of it has been in vain.
I am much better off than I would have been if I had made no effort or an average effort, but I'm still a failure by my metrics.
I've had a shit job for more than a decade. I am and have always been single. I don't have a house with a white picket fence, 2.8 kids, a wife, a dog, and two cars. I have none of that, despite my best efforts. I expect to die alone, the only ones to mourn me being family and three friends.
After putting myself through the bootcamp from hell.
For nothing.
I am so goddamn tired of working so incredibly hard and getting crumbs for my effort.
I do realize that a large part of my failure to reach my goals is common and simply how things are nowadays. People, especially men, are single. People cannot affort to buy a house. People are stuck in dead-end shit jobs.
Edit: Sorry to be a downer.
You need to write a book ASAP
@@BoredCapturer Why?
I imitated the actors on TV to figure out how to act irl. So when I started acting at 9, I was a natural. It was so easy for me to completely transform and I had zero stage fright whatsoever, even on my first performance. It wasn't until much later, after my diagnosis, when I looked back and realized I was so good because I'd been acting my whole life, practing 24/7, 365.
I'm autistic too, but overall i stopped masking it and just let it all out.
Better than living a lie imo.
If anything i've started to enjoy being a social menace.
If someone feels uncomfortable over the petty things in life, they should be made more uncomfortable.
This feels so real to me, I don't have an official diagnosis but I have been diagnosed with ADHD. I know they correlate often and I've been doing a lot of looking into my own symptoms. Maybe I'll get a diagnosis eventually but it's comforting knowing others have gone through this same experience.
hearing these kind of stories from autistic people makes me realize how normal I am (as an autistic) compared to other autistics, sometimes i feel like i can't really relate with these problems and it makes me feel a little bad
this resonates with me a lot, thanks for making this
Something I hear a lot about autistic people is "Oh YoU wEaR hEaDpHoNeS aLl ThE tImE!!!"
Make everything stop being so loud and THEN come talk to me, KAREN.
EXACTLY!!!!!! IF THIS PLANET DIDN'T WANT ME WEARING HEADPHONES IT WOULD SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!! also they sometimes just feel nice on my head (:
I agree with that like sometimes people are just too loud
I was pretty quiet growing up. I never really felt satisfied with living that way though. I found my outlet through fencing. I’d put on that fencing mask and I didn’t have to keep projecting an image. I could take off the social mask while the real mask shielded my face. I’d be able to let loose and let my body and blade do the talking. I’d feel the flow of combat and between rounds I’d pose and do little flourishes with my weapon. The best part is that people loved it! I felt legitimately validated for what felt like the first time ever. When you pretend to be someone you’re not so often for others’ approval it’s euphoric to get validation for something genuine like that.
I remember being in highschool my favourite place to be was in the library and one of the girls from my class that was super social came over and sat with me and her guy friend (who I didn't know) was with her. They were chatting up a storm and I was just happily listening... then the guy looked at me and said "why are you so quiet?"....
I didn't think I was being quiet, I just didn't have anything to add to the conversation. I didn't know what to say so I just awkwardly stared at them in silence.
I felt the same way so thank you 😊 ❤
That must’ve felt so frustrating. Told your whole life to socialise and that you’re too shy, only to realise all of that was because of a disorder.
I was also the "shy / weird kid." I didn't really start to "get" how to talk to people until college, yet even now I struggle with social situations frequently.
I didn't get my diagnosis until age 31, and I wish medical science had been far enough along when I was a kid to be diagnosed then. Reading through lists of symptoms was like reading through a bulleted description of myself.
I'm sure others have already said this but this is just such a great representation of autism and autism masking in general, also late diagnoses.
Ngl this is like *kinda* real
Im like 95% sure i actually have ADHD bc it explains my entire life so well like to the point i cried bc i finally felt understood i was always weirdly obsessed with things and randomly lost interest and i was always talking abt and researching things to the point ppl would think im insane i always kinda questioned "hey maybe i have ADHD" bc my sister always explained it as not being able to focus as well (which i couldnt) but she also said it went beyond that so i kinda pushed the thought back until this yr i was bored after i finished a test so i took a little ADHD quiz and then it said i had a high chance of having it and with that i started researching it and ive also noticed a rlly good portion of my friends are neurodivergent which might not mean anything but like maybe it does lmao another thing that really sparked it was the first friend i knew had autism and AD(H)D (a lot of my friends are neurodivergent but i only learned that recently) and i didnt really know what either was and i wanted to make sure i understood my friend well and wont upset them and stuff
Anyways sorry for the partial rant lmao im actually getting tested soon tho so i hope that can help me finally understand myself better
"the adults also hated me" thank you. I 8/10 teachers I meet hate me, when I started my first job I felt like all my older coworkers hated me, specially the older ones.
Me too…
Then I found out the reason… NT people need to feel they can understand what you’re doing, otherwise they will tend to avoid you. The worst case is they’ll try to push you out of their “zone”. No matter if you’re doing good or bad. It is very difficult for them to accept or admit their mistakes, too. They only do things that make them feel better, not doing things more efficiently or logically(as like most autistic people)
I also have autism.
and I don't know if I've already said this but I wish maybe I had a friend like you, you're cool and maybe you understand me just like I understand you.
Thank you for making videos about your autism makes me feel less alone
I had a similar experience as a kid, I just wasn’t that shy kid, I was “rude” and kids would call me “violent “ wen I tried to interact with them I ended up with a lot of anxiety in the end of grade school and saw a psychologist who immediately knew I was autistic and got the final diagnosis at 14 I’m Turing 18 now and in a specialised school witch I love
Autistics deserve understanding do.
And, it also is no excuse for being bad to others is.
Both can very much coexist.
Maybe that guy knew no better. Maybe not. Either way, your comfort matters as much as his does, and as he was following you, he was causing unequilibrium.
Even had he known no better, you still had every right to least try and make him understand that his following you was uncomfortable for you.
I can be nervous and I can relate to this a lot. I'm very different from other people. I can feel nervous and I try to control myself but it can be hard for me. I see that you're also into sonic the hedgehog. I'm in therapy which feels alright but I play chess/checkers or legos. People focus on my anxiety but not my autism. The air conditioner can be a little loud for me. 5:08 me when I feel too much pressure or when I feel triggered. I've been masking for a while and it's true that family members and doctors miss the fact about the person having autism. I've been bullied before for being different. I really liked this video a lot. You're a great autistic youtuber. Just keep doing what you're doing.
I relate a lot to the things you said, it's nice that we are able to talk more about autism now.
Plus, your channel is amazing, keep up with the videos if you want to, don't give up!! :)
My parents actually noticed when i was very young that i was "acting different and alone alot" so they got a psychiatrist to look at me, it took many years of going through many systems but i did eventually get my diagnosis around middle school, so thankful for my parents for actually understanding :)
I'm not autistic but I can only imagine how hard it was for you to grow up. Thanks for sharing how it's like. Hopefully, we can let other people know how to handle those with the same case.
This video is too relatable for me it’s crazy
I am glad you are making a video about Autism Spectrum since tomorrow is Autism Awareness Month.
I'm so lucky to be diagnosed with autism when I was born, so everyone already knew I was autistic, even then I didn't have many real friends, most of them were just people who I rarely spoke to, but that's okay, I'm not really interested in talking to other people.. When I get home I play Roblox and watch TH-cam or do something else, and then i just wait for something interesting happen in my life.
that's my daily routine, sometimes it changes but its normally like that, also idk why but autistic youtubers are always nice to watch
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in the past few days i realized ive been masking with my friendships, even if I don't have many autistic friends IRL rn, its nice to be able to surround myself with positive understanding messages thanks to creators like you! thank you
I go to school and I am autistic. Life is hard for me. I can't handle loud noises yet I can listen to hard rock and death metal, I can't stand socks because it feels weird on my feet and I am scared to be myself in front of people. I can't do eye contact but I can force myself because I was yelled at for not looking at their eyes
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I am also autistic and I think it's interesting to hear experiences from someone else. It's difficult for me to tell when people have bad intentions, but hearing people use words that were made specifically to insult specific people(bastard and retard are examples)in casual conversation is a bright signal that lets me know that they are immature. 1:21 Judging someone with expectations based on their gender is sexist and terrible.
Enjoy your summer!
“It wasn’t shyness it was autism.” 😂😅
So she was shy the whole time? Are you said as a joke
A lovely essay!!
For a long time I've seen other kids who were more on the spectrum get regularly misunderstood or ostracised. So... I learned to associate any interaction with them as annoying and dangerous to my really precarious social life, as well as put a blank wall in front of my whole personality. Ableist comparison like the kind you experienced is just... so cruel and damaging
What a coincidence with this topic, I've been reminded of it just yesterday. Basically some relatives visited yesterday, one tried one of those friendly kiss on the cheek as hello thing, and I'm not used to that even though I'm 22, I never interacted that much with the opposite gender, last time something like this happened I was still in highschool, it was my birthday and in our country we have this stupid thing of sharing candy or chocolates during it and literally all girls in class kissed me on the cheeks. I hated it and it was one of the most awkward and uncomfortable experience I've had in high school. And yeah the relative tried to approach me and do that but I just stepped back and my mom said how I've always been really shy and it just clicked in my head and I started remembering every time I got called shy by people and how much it screamed autism but no one knew ir cared enough. And yeah, that's all, I find it funny seeing a video about it right after that. I'll watch the video now. Edit half way through the video: wow, my experience on the other hand was sooo much different, people never came and connected with me like that, quite the opposite, it felt like they avoided me. Maybe it's because I'm a guy and it's usually like the guys always approach those around eachother and girls wait for people to approach or something, I'm not sure, but to me it didn't feel like I was different at home vs in public because I wouldn't share things with others when talking with them, it was more like because I never talked with anyone in the first place. And when I was late into my child years and early preteens, I might sometimes have been called mature, but when I was way younger like 5 or 6 I was called annoying or energetic. A close relative even sometimes mentions today how it's like I lost all my energy when I was a kid and now I'm really sluggish. Edit after watching the whole video: yeah, soo soo different, I kind of envy you. I wish I'd be comfortable enough to talk to strangers, connect and make friendships even while masking just like that. But for me it seems like the wall is too high to climb. Great video nevertheless.
its so nice to see someone else go through a similar experience to what I went through as a kid! Late-diagnosis gang untie
I hate eye contact
Welcome to my world
(Me, not the president I’m cosplaying as)
The more i hear about Autism and Asperger's, the more i feel like i am not crazy afterall, just autistic. Or both.
Get a diagnosis, don't self diagnose
omg i relate so much to adults hating you as a kid. "why are you beefing with a 5 year old" was my exact thoughts about it too. it was so weird because i was really well behaved and smart, and i am shy along with being autistic so i didnt talk much too, i just cried a lot. Like imagine being mad at a 5 year old for crying lmfao. its sad other autistic people have to go through this too :-(
it's weird how just having the terms and knowing what's going on in you're brain can help so much but it sure as hell does
For me the answer to "how did no-one ever notice?" Is: they did, they just either didn't want to acknowledge the fact that I and they needed help to deal with that, or just felt like it wasn't their place to intervene. I never really exhibited any major symptoms I think, it was just always 'managable'. I got by good enough and that was that. Now I live with the consequences of that inconsequence and I still haven't been diagnosed officially yet. A child without friends in a not quite hostile enough environment to call it bullying who's just about not normal enough to melt into the crowd is apparently just about not helpless enough to receive help.