"Every survivor...the first thing they wanted is for the people who mattered to them to support them." Not attainable for the multitude of survivors who have had no choice but to cut off contact with their abusers and other family members.
so read this as a callout to parents who parented traumatically because they never dealt with their own trauma. if you need to go no contact, do what makes you feel safe. let this comment be directed at whoever mattered to you, and hope that they can heal too. maybe then they can come to you.
As a psychotherapist in private practice who works with survivors (because so many people are), thank you for all of these excellent reminders, and for all of your work.
I do wish there were more groups for processing our trauma for the reasons you both are citing. We decrease shame when we share it with others who empathize or can relate.
The initial trauma was bad enough but then to have a justice system that empathized with the perpetrator more than me because "he has a hard life" and "I should have known better" was a slap in the face that I still haven't healed from. The perps get their rehabilitation paid for by the state while I'm left piecing my life back together on my own dime... somethings got to give.
Problem with trauma is that when you go through it, whatever the traumatic event is, it releases this feeling and even when the event is over, your body sometimes releases that horrible feeling again, like some kind of emotional memory.
We also really need more conversations about mothers sexually abusing their children. Female abusing others is rampant and barely a word about it and most definitely therapists generally are not equipped to help the survivors heal this depth of betrayal.
“Acknowledgement of the survivor’s truth, acknowledgement of the harm she has suffered, and full apology, with remorse and without excuses-for many survivors, these are the requisite actions by which perpetrators and bystanders can begin the process of healing, moving from truth to repair." This is simply not realistic for the vast majority of survivors. Deciding that this is essential for repair places recovery beyond the reach of most survivors.
A full apology? We don't need it..nor do we want it from people who are not willing to offer, genuinely. If it's genuine, looking at you mom and dad, then sure. If not, then fuck off and continue and stay out of my way
Perhaps it is essential and in that case it's not a matter of "deciding that it is". Put the burden on healing on the justice system and the abusers, instead of putting the burden on science and human rights to comply with the current political and social climate.
I'm a trauma survivor and I struggle many days to cope with the abuse Ive endured in my late adolescence and early childhood. I had a pretty normal upbringing by a family who loved me, but I quickly realized the people who ultimately control our daily lives are vengeful parasites with elite academic credentials. Politicians, lawyers, mental health "doctors" and a wide variety of media thugs with a deep-seated hatred for average Americans seem to have a lot more power despite a constant call back to certain events or histories they felt wronged. I do not care. I will never care. I'm navigating the trauma and surviving the best I can.
My father was a veteran, and both grandfathers. Counting uncles- going back 14 or 15 people. could not call that a culture of denial. More like buried trauma. My hunch is that those who succumbed to PTSD had history going back to childhood. Deep intractable senses of abandonment by the world.
In terms of circumscision mutilation , for the men at the protest having females there , standing with them , and telling stories of fighting to allow their sons to remain intact , or regretting remorsefully allowing the penis to be cut into when their infant was born really helped them a lot . Trust in the community is seriously important .
This is so much of the problem with psychiatry. The psychiatrists, psychologists don't understand the reality of the situation of living with a victimizer. Especially if that victimizer is a psychopath who holds themselves to no rules of proper behaviour. There is nothing like living in a situation, being responsible for children and walking a line that feels like you are always trying to protect your own or your children's personal safety.
The reason why PATTERNS of abuse continue is because most psychosis is actually an ADDICTION . It is a way that the deformation of the character becomes externally expressed . The human being is a creative entity . If the creator is deformed , they will create deformity all around them . That is because the deformity creates such a mal-adaptive behavior , that it requires a crutch to funcction , to have the sensation of stability . All addiction is quest for STASIS in a spinning world . The reason why deformed people grab onto an addictive behavioral pattern , be it raping the child in the house they live in , or washing their hands 100 times a day , is because that is a point of stasis that they then can rely on . They need that artificial balance point because they cannot locate it inside themselves . When Hillary Clinton joyously announced the killing of another Human Being , " We came he died " or whatever she said , and I use her as an example because she is a female , she was fully empowered , and still , totally crazy . So why . Because that point of death , is a point of stasis in a tornado of inner confusion that that person existed in since a point in her growth and development when she had normal continuity broken or , was not given the tools to develop her own character or continuity . All psychosis is arrested develpment , and as we study the progression of child growth and development , it becomes very simple to see at which point in the little animal of the theta state , that the charachter was broken into , or broken , and a crutch of behavior pattern , rather than relational or interactive behavior was grabbed onto .
With all due respect to Bessel van der Kolk the situation has not changed for women. Women are still isolated by men - see the Hague Convention. What has changed is that mothers are even more likely to lose custody in family court.
Thank you so much for writing this book 📕. I love you so much for doing so to help our planet for The Godhead. I’m a trauma survivor (CPTSD) since birth and recently by my own husband and tfdmsm and his sadist and sociopath ex wife, dominatrix, sex worker medical worker, and stalker of me & my children, and him. And why me and my husband are getting a divorce. ⭐️🌟🌸💕🎥🌷🎥💕🌸🌟⭐️✨✨✨☎️🍿⏰🌈🌜📕🚪🌧️⛈️🥲
![“อ.เบียร์ คนตื่นธรรม” มาตามคำเรียกร้อง แหกศาสตร์ฮวงจุ้ย เตือนสติอย่างมงาย | แฉ 7 พ.ย. 67 [1/3]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/5fc4S3xBNfc/mqdefault.jpg)
"Every survivor...the first thing they wanted is for the people who mattered to them to support them." Not attainable for the multitude of survivors who have had no choice but to cut off contact with their abusers and other family members.
so read this as a callout to parents who parented traumatically because they never dealt with their own trauma. if you need to go no contact, do what makes you feel safe. let this comment be directed at whoever mattered to you, and hope that they can heal too. maybe then they can come to you.
I read that s book and how do I speak with the writers as I work with the most vulnerable and need help to
I am a survivor praise the Lord but the I am fighting the justice system myself !! With the DOJ which seems to get bo where
I am meeting ng with government and they do not understand how do we get them tomorrow listen
Social justice does not exist with northern Ireland
As a psychotherapist in private practice who works with survivors (because so many people are), thank you for all of these excellent reminders, and for all of your work.
I do wish there were more groups for processing our trauma for the reasons you both are citing. We decrease shame when we share it with others who empathize or can relate.
Why not creating it ? ;-)
Groups like ACA D-F fade and shine... ...but we are gradually finding ways of keeping going... and learning by the day!
I find it interesting how all the oldies come out before they die
Thanks
The initial trauma was bad enough but then to have a justice system that empathized with the perpetrator more than me because "he has a hard life" and "I should have known better" was a slap in the face that I still haven't healed from.
The perps get their rehabilitation paid for by the state while I'm left piecing my life back together on my own dime... somethings got to give.
Thanx for putting these 2 pioneers together 👏
DBT should be widely available to the general public.
Problem with trauma is that when you go through it, whatever the traumatic event is, it releases this feeling and even when the event is over, your body sometimes releases that horrible feeling again, like some kind of emotional memory.
Yes, because it's etched in the brain .
Imagine deliberately exposing yourself to abusive caregivers who never got therapy and are still just as damaging and destructive.
I did it. It sucked.
Also, many bystanders didn't know, particularly in cases of emotional neglect and abuse.
We also really need more conversations about mothers sexually abusing their children. Female abusing others is rampant and barely a word about it and most definitely therapists generally are not equipped to help the survivors heal this depth of betrayal.
Peer support groups are essential for survivors of trauma to know "It's not just me and it's not my fault."
Yes, we should have a Trauma Anonymous.
“Acknowledgement of the survivor’s truth, acknowledgement of the harm she has suffered, and full apology, with remorse and without excuses-for many survivors, these are the requisite actions by which perpetrators and bystanders can begin the process of healing, moving from truth to repair." This is simply not realistic for the vast majority of survivors. Deciding that this is essential for repair places recovery beyond the reach of most survivors.
A full apology? We don't need it..nor do we want it from people who are not willing to offer, genuinely. If it's genuine, looking at you mom and dad, then sure. If not, then fuck off and continue and stay out of my way
Thank you for this.
Perhaps it is essential and in that case it's not a matter of "deciding that it is". Put the burden on healing on the justice system and the abusers, instead of putting the burden on science and human rights to comply with the current political and social climate.
@@Knightgil I am working on a youtube channel that will be discussing all of this in great detail. 🙂
I'm a trauma survivor and I struggle many days to cope with the abuse Ive endured in my late adolescence and early childhood. I had a pretty normal upbringing by a family who loved me, but I quickly realized the people who ultimately control our daily lives are vengeful parasites with elite academic credentials. Politicians, lawyers, mental health "doctors" and a wide variety of media thugs with a deep-seated hatred for average Americans seem to have a lot more power despite a constant call back to certain events or histories they felt wronged.
I do not care. I will never care. I'm navigating the trauma and surviving the best I can.
My father was a veteran, and both grandfathers. Counting uncles- going back 14 or 15 people. could not call that a culture of denial. More like buried trauma. My hunch is that those who succumbed to PTSD had history going back to childhood. Deep intractable senses of abandonment by the world.
If only we could all write an apology for dead abusers and instantly be healed.
Are you implying we should forgive our abusers and be healed? Not sure what you mean but I think my parents are irrelevant to my healing.
Wait, what??? Apology for dead abusers?
In terms of circumscision mutilation , for the men at the protest having females there , standing with them , and telling stories of fighting to allow their sons to remain intact , or regretting remorsefully allowing the penis to be cut into when their infant was born really helped them a lot . Trust in the community is seriously important .
Uncut males are gross
An added burden i have is that my trauma is different than most ppl's. I have never heard of parents like mine.
43:30 I don't apply for a job if I find the keyword "frat boy culture" in employee reviews like Glassdoor. They must be toxic.
What about psychiatric violence?
This is so much of the problem with psychiatry. The psychiatrists, psychologists don't understand the reality of the situation of living with a victimizer. Especially if that victimizer is a psychopath who holds themselves to no rules of proper behaviour. There is nothing like living in a situation, being responsible for children and walking a line that feels like you are always trying to protect your own or your children's personal safety.
The reason why PATTERNS of abuse continue is because most psychosis is actually an ADDICTION . It is a way that the deformation of the character becomes externally expressed . The human being is a creative entity . If the creator is deformed , they will create deformity all around them . That is because the deformity creates such a mal-adaptive behavior , that it requires a crutch to funcction , to have the sensation of stability . All addiction is quest for STASIS in a spinning world . The reason why deformed people grab onto an addictive behavioral pattern , be it raping the child in the house they live in , or washing their hands 100 times a day , is because that is a point of stasis that they then can rely on . They need that artificial balance point because they cannot locate it inside themselves . When Hillary Clinton joyously announced the killing of another Human Being , " We came he died " or whatever she said , and I use her as an example because she is a female , she was fully empowered , and still , totally crazy . So why . Because that point of death , is a point of stasis in a tornado of inner confusion that that person existed in since a point in her growth and development when she had normal continuity broken or , was not given the tools to develop her own character or continuity . All psychosis is arrested develpment , and as we study
the progression of child growth and development , it becomes very simple to see at which point in the little animal of the theta state , that the charachter was broken into , or broken , and a crutch of behavior pattern , rather than relational or interactive behavior was grabbed onto .
With all due respect to Bessel van der Kolk the situation has not changed for women. Women are still isolated by men - see the Hague Convention. What has changed is that mothers are even more likely to lose custody in family court.
Protect women's spaces-stop the national gas-lighting campaign.
Stop misspelling Bessel's name!
Ronald Reagan took my pell grant when I was a homeless mental patient.
Vessel need protection frin government rules abd policies... Help start a movement
" ... From the Bystanders " Community Crimes .
i find the aggressive body language of the lad on the right very offputting
We can't stop this abuse - check out the bible.
It is all money making to look like tgey are helping
Thank you so much for writing this book 📕. I love you so much for doing so to help our planet for The Godhead. I’m a trauma survivor (CPTSD) since birth and recently by my own husband and tfdmsm and his sadist and sociopath ex wife, dominatrix, sex worker medical worker, and stalker of me & my children, and him. And why me and my husband are getting a divorce.
⭐️🌟🌸💕🎥🌷🎥💕🌸🌟⭐️✨✨✨☎️🍿⏰🌈🌜📕🚪🌧️⛈️🥲