While the overwhelming majority of my feedback has been positive, a small contingent of (mostly female) viewers has proven quite negative. And the overwhelming majority of that negativity is in response to some of my advice on how "to hook" a man. In this episode, I respond to that criticism and emphasize the importance of using sexuality intentionally and strategically. Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: th-cam.com/video/WrXBzQ2HDEQ/w-d-xo.html Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: th-cam.com/channels/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw.htmljoin Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #women #dating #relationship
oh boy… what are we gonna do with you Orion. 2:11 I wasn’t arguing that. My beef is with the notion of competing with other women for the same guy. To beat out the competition through extra sexual effort was the way I remember that ‘Hook’ episode because otherwise there is no need to be the sluttiest version… most guys are happy just getting laid and if it’s consistent guys normally progress towards a relationship to secure that sexual opportunity because otherwise they lose it. This advice if followed is going to escalate hypergamous tendencies in women. Talk about cut throat. All the other poor fellas are going to be stuck at the bottom behind the screen waiting til the days they turn 40 so that they can finally experience the real thing. Heyyy! At least they’ll have something to look forward to. Highly sought women are the ones that usually beat out the competition in normal circumstances. Guys usually want the girl that everyone wants. Men don’t let these women walk… they don’t take the risk and if they do it’s not too far because most guys will know when they have a keeper. Guys value a woman who not only adds value to his life, but a woman who has intrinsic value, internal worth. Some are better at distinguishing this than others and it takes an intelligent man to know what is truly valuable in a woman. A good woman can always gain more bedroom experience. It’s Good Qualities that are rare these days because a guy can pay for the sluttiest sex just about anywhere…. But a good woman is not something he can pay for these days. Anyone can ‘act’ useful in the beginning, but not everyone is actually useful. 9:27 Exactly. Full ⭕️ circle.
The problem with your advice is that "commitment" and "sex" are not a fair exchange, they are not even close. For a woman who gives sex there is so much more at stake than for a man who gives commitment. So there is no way you can compare these two things. A woman can get pregnant, die from the pregnancy or die from the abortion or suffer a trauma from having an abortion. Women even die from being on birth control, because these pills give them pulmonary embolism. These things will never happen to a man from having sex. But a woman literally risks her life every time she has sex, if she's aware of it or not. So, no, giving away sex in order to get commitment is by no means a fair exchange and you shouldn't perpetuate this dangerous advice to young women.
I think most of your assessment of the current dating climate are accurate. It makes perfect sense why a winning strategy is popular given 1 out of 6 people are narcissist and I can see why they will favor this kind of strategy. It is pretty clear that women are not your demographic audiences and it is fine if that is what you prefer but it makes sense why women don't see this as the method to get what they want, especially in the content of pursing after true love and happiness versus fighting to be an option for someone like P. DIDDY.
Let me simplify this: The mistake I tell my female friends that they make is: stoping their fun, free, sexual adventurous side when the decide to “settle down”. It’s a one way ticket to being unfulfilled. It’s when they find that man who they want to be with the rest of their lives that should and must get their best, freakiest, and wildest side. They will like it. He will like it. And life will be better being nasty with the one you trust.
What you should have told them is that their husband is the "only" one who should have their freaky adventurous side and no one else. If they were virgins before meeting him, this incentivises them indulging in their freakiness because their husband is the only one she can do it with. And she has no experience either, so she can't say anything like "I've been there done that, I can do without".
Logically flawless, however the reality is their wild abandonment is triggered by ideas of gain and fomo. It's completely effortless to them when those conditions are in place. Once they've got the financial commitment, kids, house and know they can retain all of that post divorce however it becomes a case of diminishing returns. No more to gain. No fomo. Thus it takes effort to get freaky. And if you haven't noticed, they're not keen on effort. It's not sexy. It isn't a 'vibe'. Sorry to say but there really are no answers in the space. It's well meaning and all but it's not going to move the dial.
Logically flawless, however the reality is their wild abandonment is triggered by ideas of gain and fomo. It's completely effortless to them when those conditions are in place. Once they've got the financial commitment, kids, house and know they can retain all of that post divorce however it becomes a case of diminishing returns. No more to gain. No fomo. Thus it takes effort to get freaky. And if you haven't noticed, they're not keen on effort. It's not sexy. It isn't a 'vibe'. Sorry to say but there really are no answers in the space. It's well meaning and all but it's not going to move the dial.
You can’t help attraction. All this doing and trying won’t cut it in the end. But you can give-and-take and “continue” in a relationship. People come and go, and sometimes they don’t.
I'll answer why: because they view relationships as struggles for power. If they give their relationship man validation (through sex), then they lose that as a tool to control him.
The more I understand women's nature, the more contradictions I find in their psyche. They want a powerful man to submit to, but (some) women simultaneously take acts to gain control in the relationship (usually through manipulation). Those two things are at odds with each other. But I think it is just women testing their man. If he asserts control and doesn't enter her frame, he then "passes" the test. But yet many women, when challenged like this, impulsively end the relationship, in order to retain that semblance of power.
@@Warbr33dRead Practical Female Psychology by Joseph W. South and David Clare. They are evolutionary biologists who deeply dived into what you said. Women DO want to submit to an alpha man, but because of their inherent need to have the most control in their relationships, they will constantly “test” him and push his boundaries, often subconsciously. This often causes the man to break down over time and become a shell of his former self. Essentially, the longer a relationship lasts, the harder it becomes for a man to maintain his alpha frame. Those traits inherently contradict the beta traits necessary to maintain a long term relationship. For men, it’s almost like a zero-sum game.
@@Khan-rz8qinone of this would be a problem if women were judged, shamed and rejected by communities according to their behavior, and with laws such that men can control such destructive behavior. the real mistake is allowing women to break families and commitments over their feelings, and them not being used to having to regulate their urges cause there is no consequence anymore. modern society allows women to behave in a way that is biologically analogous to allowing men to beat, rape and kill without consequence, and then wondering why no communities can come out of this. its also completely pointless for men to try to "maintain frame", cause if she tests you at all, she is prioritizing sexuality over family, and at that point its pointless to try.
I am dating a younger man and I have been willing to do what younger women around me don’t do which is listen to him and give him attention. That has worked for me
You really blew up man. I was following you way in the beginning but it didn’t take long for you to be where you are. Thank you for your insight and time to educate us or at least question our own beliefs and thinking
I wish I could have used some of this language 20 years ago when I instinctively understood how bad this was, but couldn't articulate as well as you do. I have told more than a few women that by being a "bad girl" with "bad boys" and then coming back around looking for a good guy, once your done being a bad girl, is insanity and leads to resentment all around the table.
Unless the man doesnt know about it. Also, alot of women find "Jesus" later in their life. Thus, giving them a clear conscious to never having to be a "slut" ever again. And married men are more than happy to get starfish sex once a month 5 years into their marriage.
@@GUITARTIME2024 A bit like men who chase hot, colorful, "vibrant" girls in high school and early 20's, only to have them snatched by the few Chads out there. In their mid 30's, even later (taking their sweet time afforded by mother nature), they are finally ready to "settle down" with a virtuous plain Jane, one they are not "really" all that attracted to but by golly, will make "a good mother for my children" and won't cheat, since Chads won't buzz around her. The wife feels it and responds in kind. People with a transactionalist mentality deserve their fate, both men and women. Try a soulmate.
Feminists is a looses term. I have a yet to meet a woman who is NOT implicitly a feminist. It’s 2nd nature to them. Why wouldn’t they advocate openly or covertly for their exclusive advantage? It’s only rational. The only difference is between the ugly or desperate/hurt ones who advocate overtly and explicitly vs your more typical woman who agrees supports and goes along silently while pretending to sound rational like “yeah, Modern Fem-ism has gone too far…etc”. Rest assured, they both feel the same way and bat for the same team.
I really wish Orion would do a breakdown of Phyllis Shlaffley’s interview from the 1970’s where a supposedly traditional, conservative, family oriented “housewife” advocates the exact same feminist values that pink haired, bra burning, screeching Betty espouses. Case in point, if it’s a woman - it’s a feminist. Don’t fall for the diff flavor
I am a woman and as a Latina, I can say that these behaviors from our friends only help us 😂🤷🏻♀️.Since the obvious still needs to be said. In Europe, it's almost a third world war to say that a woman shouldn't go around having sex with everyone. Here in England, a woman who cooks and knows how to clean a house without complaining is extremely rare. My colleagues complain about this all week at work. Which of course, in Latin America is the most normal thing. Cheers, Orion.
Personally I think a woman who has a merry heart .. enjoys washing dishes and cleaning up is what being a "helper" is all about .. and being "available" (defined as a companion .. doing many things together) "sex" can be defined as anything that comes with "making love" .. (a touch, hug, kiss, wink, sweet words, naughtiness, and more). "Making HATE" would be anything that doesn't add to the other side of the scales. Certainly we all have our chosen ones we are most comfortable with .. someone who trusts us .. as we trust them. I love some of my men friends .. but I don't see them as sexual partners .. same goes for my women friends. The emotional drain is way too taxing and complicated. Commitment means I'm here to be whatever you need and I am able to help with .. and that means things like paying bills, caring for pets, pulling the load if you have a broken limb or sick. Who would think it's a good idea to yoke up a Camel with a Goose .. an Ox with a Race Horse .. even if they are both the same .. it doesn't mean they are "paired". I enjoyed your comment. 🙂 I fix interesting meals .. and leave the kitchen clean! ;-) lol
I had noticed this very thing about European women, like in Sweden for example. Their behavior leads to PTSD, Bipolar, BPD, and other myriad of mental/ emotional maladies and despite their high IQ in other areas their emotional intelligence and wisdom is lacking. Was there some sort of brainwashing in Europe? They defend their right to self destruct with admirable passion!
Essentially western women are making you, girls of the other part of the world look better. I don't think it's necessary a bad thing, I have dealt with a lot of women and it's because of the bad one that I learned to appreciate the good one and cherish them.
I second that ! In France, God forbid if I ever dared suggesting that maybe women should try reducing on sleeping around with strangers… holy cow, I got called allllll kind of names and got told it wasn’t the middle ages anymore, that women have rights and all the generic gibberish
While reading this, I couldn't help revising this in my mind to something like, "It's all my colleagues complain about during post-sex latency (i.e. refractory period) ..." LOL 😄 Cheers.
Your argument is 100% logically valid. What I've learned though from women friends is women compartmentalize fun exploratory sex with the casual guy vs transactional sex with the relationship guy. To them from their perspective it makes 110% sense but they cannot grasp how this undermines their relationship goals especially for attractive men unwilling to get slotted into transactional relationship sex only
"To them from their perspective it makes 110% sense" I love it, even the doctor makes this type of statement trying not to highlight too harshly the extreme irrationality of woman. To a 5 year old it makes 110% sense that babies come from storks.
The problem is most women refuse to acknowledge that they have a two tier mating strategy. Chads get everything on a silver platter. While Brads get the bare minimum while having to pay the bills.
Brads have to Learn to master the GAME, be more assertive, dominant, masculine, fun, playful, and they will make their Woman all turned on ! Learn thé game and apply it. It works. No need for being good looki g liké a Chad nor rich....Just improve your Inner Game and Game! It's a CHEAT CODE....
Because for as long as humans have been around that was the ideal female mating strategy: get Brad to raise your child conceived by Chad! The second best was have Brad raise your child conceived by the same Brad.
@@Doberman_6773You can’t stop weak desperate men from being weak and desperate. Even if you expose the game they don’t care. Unfortunately simps will continue to save these women who deserve to stay alone forever.
@@perieven6357 There is no counter strategy. The red pill is the final attack, there is no counter to the red pill. Women have been practicing this for thousands of years. It’s only recently that men have made counters for it. Then knowing about it literally changes nothing for women, but it changes a lot for men. If every man collectively decided to be red pilled. Female behavior would be fixed immediately. Unfortunately weak men will always be weak and desperate.
10:23 “The cost of winning is overpaying” is a great quote. One of my IT colleagues explained that the company had a team that handled phones. He was told that you can’t say “Yes” to everything because the demands will become outrageous. He came in as the new guy trying to prove himself so he did it anyway. When the company was sold, he was the only phone guy they kept. So it did pay in the beginning but he ask do learned the hard lesson of what they were explaining. Interestingly enough, years later I went through the same thing. I’m not with a different company with slightly less pay but am appreciated, given opportunities, etc. I think this can happen in relationships as well so I think a “Be careful what you ask for” would be a great follow up to this one. He’s telling the ladies what to do to get the guy they want but they need to be able to determine if the long term goal is strictly financial or would they trade some of that for character just like I was happy to trade it for a company culture of less stress and demands.
As a female who found you from SWU's interview, your videos are the raw truth of a man's perspective of life. Something entirely different from the female experience. I see the techniques you describe in videos in my subconscious history, both good and bad (because we're all learning as we go), and i find videos that explain what my husband can experience but not fully communicate. I'm married to what one would call a high dollar man, older(but looks my age or younger at times), good money, loving, all that. When we linked i was early 20s and he was late 30s so in reality we're probably a little even on your scale of desirability. The best part is our communication. And your videos have become part of that communication. And I'm not afraid to admit that being the "sluttiest version of myself" was how I won him in the end over the other competition and got that "Facebook official" status lol. Best fish I've ever caught.
when I first started listening to your channel, it took me a moment to absorb the information that you were giving. I am a seasoned woman who can take positive criticism when it’s due, but some of the things you were stating took me aback. after thinking about what you were saying, it was easier for me to absorb some of the scenarios you were talking about. With that said, I feel like it’s only fair to say that a woman has to feel that she’s comfortable to give certain sides of herself to a man. This is why when I’m dating I tend to ask a lot of questions and ask for responses from my potential partner. What it really comes down to at the end of the day, is that potential partners need to feel comfortable expressing these innermost desires about themselves to each other. The divorce rate is very high and I find the reason why this is, is because we lack a confidence and telling our partner what it is, that we really desire. On the other end, there is a lot of men that don’t want to have our partners disapprove of us and hide these sexual/freaky Deaky desires without expressing them. So my question is why is it the women’s responsibility to bring that out instead of the man’s?
Good question. A good sex life takes 2. Too much of this docs content and too much of the comments that follow blame women. Men have work to do too because there is an Orgasm Gap between lesbians and heterosexual women. That gap says it all, that women should not shoulder all of the responsibility for sexual fulfillment. This disproportionate responsibility placed on women is a big factor in the divorce rates.
''So my question is why is it the women’s responsibility to bring that out instead of the man’s?'' Because these are your emotions and your manifestation of yourself. I give you my nastiest side by becoming just that, being myself around you, like in any other situations. If you treat it as responsibility or as something to ''give'' then you still think of yourself as parts that you can sell. You are still a problem. ''What it really comes down to at the end of the day, is that potential partners need to feel comfortable expressing these innermost desires about themselves to each other.'' The problem is women. I either got vanilla sex or freaky sex. It depended on how i acted. for 15 years i never managed to merge a gentleman and a beast in one person. So i came to conclusion that women categorize me in those two brackets and once she makes up her mind, i cant behave one or the other, otherwise she will be put off by it. because we lack a confidence and telling our partner what it is, that we really desire. MILLIONS of men would love to have better sex or atleast more of it. Keep putting blame on men. Women want emotionally intelligent man until they get it.
@@amourelamonica8121 @amourelamonica8121 No folks, look. Women are the gatekeepers to sex. Their power lies in saying 'no.' When a man loves a woman, he'll respect her [sexual] boundaries & may not try experimenting. It's then up to her to communicate her desires, as he has likely given up trying new things after so long. It also depends on personality, some men may get bored & start communicating about new ideas. Personally, i think most women may turn new ideas down. But if women are smart, & those ideas do not infringe on her boundaries (and are healthy for the relationship), she should consider pursuing.
Agreed with both of you, and much respect for having an open mind and engaging with content like this. Men certainly have work to do in this category - when I started, I was blown away by what I didn’t know. I think a lot of men don’t even realize that there are resources to improve in this area. Additionally, the man is absolutely just as responsible for making these desires and preferences known, and of course listening to his partner’s with equal enthusiasm. I don’t want to disclose too much personal information, but this is a very sensitive topic, and there needs to be a good deal of safety present in the relationship for it to happen. Yes, men need safety too! Like OP said, the conversation is way too important to never have, and neglecting this is probably a major factor in the amount of unhappy marriages that we see.
@@tarablue4472 I understand what you’re saying. But, women are indeed the gatekeepers of sex’ opportunity. And I think I can speak for a lot of men saying that it is a pretty rare occurrence that a women would come to you (a man) and asks/offers sex right away without any prior investment of any sorts. Past your 20's spring break time, we men mostly usually have to work, quite hard, to get to that point. Whereas women know that a man showing interest would most likely jump on a sex opportunity at the first sign. Hence, the gatekeepers, hence the advice directed to women. Also, divorce among lesbians are the highest among any groups, and by far. At an alarming 80/85% in the western world. So i guess ‘orgasms’ aren’t the definitive seller, couple’s security or the ‘happy marker’, you may assume it to be. Not to mention that the topic here is pre-couple life, during the courting phase. Finally, even if you do not understand, or agree, with Orion’s take on men’s perspective, rest reassure, as you can judge by the feedback and popularity, that it does indeed represent quite a large cohort of men. Now, I do not understand, agree or even appreciate, all the hows and whys women behave the way they do, but I have to face reality and accept that it is what is. And conduct myself in accordance. This is a friendly attempt at opinion’ exchanges, please no gaslighting. Wishing you the best.
As a man viewing this, I've gotta say he's 100% right. I'm in my 40's and while I might not always want sex, a partner who is engaging and expresses a full interest in me, including wanting my sex will definitely stand out in a crowd. A partner who then is so interested in me they are compelled to take it a step further and not only be a lover but a partner in my life's journey is like finding a needle in a haystack. Even if, for whatever reason, we don't work out, it's someone that will be hard to forget.
I couldn't have said it better!! I'm in my early 40's and it is hard to find a partner for life. I have to put it in God's hands and pray!! 🙏 It's not always in our time. Finding Dt. T and watching his videos has been a blessing. 😊
Wisdom in these comments. I feel your full hearts as good men, speaking truth of deep desires us men don’t always get to express - Unless its just shitty locker room talk lacking substance, or its otherwise bottled up. Well put.
I know the doctor and I would get on well... we both enjoy mid century furniture for starters.. I have two of those Barcelona chairs and a Eames Lounge chair to go with them... Good taste Doc.
If he's got a recorded response to their 2 canned criticisms? He only needs to address them once. After that? He can just point to this link forever, because they all shop for canned arguments at the same store. (Read: timtom's Chinese impulse buy emporium.)
As a guy who's never casually slept with women, and only done serious committed long-term relationships, here is the best advice I can give you ladies if a real relationship is what you're looking for - * Keep your body count low - do not sleep around. Your Vag has a lot of value; do not give it away to men you are not in a committed relationship with. * Do not date lots of men at the same time even if you're avoiding sex - this is a red flag to men and just looks bad. * Do not maintain relationships with your exes. Most men will not tolerate this kind of nonsense if they have even the slightest semblance of self-respect. * Make sure the guy knows you're interested. Don't play mind games - to borrow something Orion said in a previous vid - you want to keep the fun to hassle ratio high. Be a good woman, date quality men and you'll be fine. * Be fit, feminine, and friendly. If you're a pain in the rear end to deal with then quality guys won't deal with you.
Your list is good. A low body count and absence of orbiters goes a long way. But in reality the entire effort boils down to being "fit, feminine, and friendly". Period. My own advice to my daughter is "be nice, don't get fat". Not much else is needed.
And if you don't like this advice and wish you could do all of those things and still get the high-value man you want, well I have bad news, you will have to learn the hard way that your wishes are not always fulfilled no matter how entitled to them you feel you are.
Once, I went to dinner with some colleagues from work. On the way to the restaurant, another guy was driving, and three girls were in the back seat. The girls were talking about one of the girls' upcoming wedding. I distinctly remember the bride-to-be saying something to the effect of, “I can't wait to be married and live together when sex isn’t so important.” It was a jaw-dropping moment. I looked at the other guy driving, and he looked at me in disbelief. At this point, I just had to interject. I said, “You really should be honest with your fiancé, tell him how you feel, and let him know that sex is not important to you.” The response from the three was, “It's all about the wedding dress, don't you know? They were serious. I feel eternally blessed that I'm married to a Caribbean Latina girl. If anybody has a headache or wants to take a break from amorous activities, it's me! When my wife hears stories like this, she looks at me and says, “What's the problem with these gringas?”
Holy.. wow.. I feel sorry for the poor fellas who are in relationships with these women. Sex with your lover and partner isn't important, but a wedding dress is the epitome of importance? Their priorities are all wrong. Wow.. as a woman, I sincerely apologise for some of these women's actions, thoughts, and feelings. It is all wrong. A dress is just a dress, sex and intimacy with your partner are deeper, more connected, loving and so much more important than any object, dress included, will ever be. Things are so wrong in this world when these women think and feel this way. An object will never, ever be as important as intimate time spent with your lover and partner.
Lots of people, both men and women, probably shouldn’t be in relationships at all. That goes double for marriage. If a woman doesn’t actually enjoy hanging sex (whether in general or with the specific partner in question) then she shouldn’t marry the guy, unless he’s on the same sexual wavelength (which is rare but not impossible). Just like a man who isn’t actually all that interested in being a provider and all that probably shouldn’t get married either. This is probably most people.
Right?! I was so weak at that. What makes it even funnier is that that statement is SO SO true. For a young, inexperienced woman, the gap between what they’ve done and the most they can do is so wide. You can experience/try so many different things without actually letting a man inside you that are pleasurable for both of you. If it doesn’t work out with Tom and y’all just did toe stuff then try ear stuff with Bradley.
I really just understood the first point you made as being intimate with guys who have committed (either via marriage or another binding means) This explanation clears stuff up by explaining that intimacy is very relative and will depend on the people in question
Women are not mad at the advice, i.e. the way to a man's heart is through his trousers. Women are just angry that you are revealing their grift. Women are just angry that you are revealing their true strategy because it reduces their leverage and power. They have been rumbled and exposed.
Wimmin figure out early on that I've long seen through their grift, and I'm therefore immune to their games and tactics. They really, really don't like it, so they go after an easier mark.
@@Alexxx492desire and respect are directly related, almost indistinguishable, for a woman. If she "respects" you but doesn't desire you, she doesn't respect you at all. Random one night stand? Desired and respected. Repeatedly.
@@systemshock869 lots of women will run their mouths at men they want a relationship with. Furthermore complaining all the time, even if it isn't about the man isn't very attractive.
After you've gotten to know him a couple months and still think you want to have a relationship with him and you take time in getting to know him sexually as well because bedroom tastes can vary widely and can make one change their mind about wanting that relationship. Once these two have been decided then your advice is spot on.
It's the nature of women “A woman quickly gives herself to the one who she doesn't love and resists the one she loves, because to the loved one she wants to seem good, and with the unloved she isn't ashamed to seem bad.” --John F Kennedy
A woman who lacks self-respect may easily give herself to someone she doesn’t care about, while holding back from the one she truly cares for. This hesitation comes from a desire to protect her emotions and appear ideal to the one she loves. Paradoxically, sex can sometimes feel freer and more uninhibited when she doesn’t care. Yet, the most profound and fulfilling intimacy occurs when she deeply desires and genuinely wants a man.And a man can always sense when a woman has genuine attraction and deep desire for him. It’s an energy that’s almost impossible to disguise, no matter how much one might try.
I noticed this about myself non-sexually when I was about 24 and decided to take a couple years off to really sort myself out. I always thought it was just a me thing, so it's interesting to hear JFK opine that this happens on other levels (and ... he knew).
This advice definitely works. I left my wife after 20+ years of marriage because I just got tired of disrespect, lack of sex, and being taken advantage of. The girl I just stared at relationship is incredible in bed, respects me, and is helpful.
the mistake many men make is letting themselves be mistreated cause of fear of loneliness. if you are ready to rather be alone than to accept poor behavior right from the jump, the trash will take itself out very quickly, such that you are either left with a good situation, or you know that you arent missing out on anything worth having. be careful though, her being good in bed to me is a red flag, cause while she might be attracted to you now, how many men did she have sex with to be comfortable with this much sexual expression? that would atleast be my immeadiate thought
Being willing to do what your competition won't could also include "not sleeping with anyone until you are married" if you're attractive and still a virgin i think a lot of high value men will appreciate you because you have shown self-control and even if the sex in marriage is relatively mundane it is ALL his and his alone.
Excellent ! Keeping your body count low and even waiting until marriage Is a meaningful strategy. A rare one nowadays, so you stand out. Additional advice : if you're a Virgin, be open to learn, and try New and New, hotter and hotter things with your husband. Give him amazing sex ! Give him his REWARD, his PRIZE ! 🎉😂
@@miahconnell23 the best solution is for both to be virgins, your dog loves his dog food, he eats it everyday. He isn't aware that its dogfood because this is the only food he knows. If both of you are sexually inexperienced your aren't aware its "bad sex" this is the only sex you know and you'll happily eat your dog food everyday
@@PSAqi6kh 🤔 Seems like you & I don’t disagree, TBH. I just want men (and women) to know that you can find a partner whose needs and preferences can be very similar to your own. It’s possible.
You have stated nothing but Actual Facts! The women criticizing this truth, are the one who believe that everything is ONLY about them...ladies get over yourself and listen to the real crap that your mom will never tell you
Ladies, if you won't take it from doc, take it from my personal experience: The love of my life was a girl who just wanted to have sex as much as we could, as often as we could, and made conscious and noticeable efforts to make sure I was happy. It didn't work out because she had to go across the country for med school. I was upset for a long time after it ended, but I'm coming to terms with it now-- despite some differences, she was the best partner I ever had, and I hope my next partner is as enthusiastic and caring as she was. JUST GIVE IT UP TO YOUR MAN, IF YOU WANT TO KEEP HIM. IT'S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE. HE'LL GO TO HELL AND BACK FOR YOU IN RETURN, I GUARANTEE IT.
But they want to keep their man WITHOUT sex bc they might not want sex to that degree in the future and if they give it up easily it'll be expected easily in the future so they have no power. They don't want to keep you, they want to conquer you and make you their subject for as long as you're useful.
For those who might be offended in the first minute, he gets to the point by minute 5. You don't have to go 0-100, but you do need to ramp-upward away from 0 as time goes on and you're looking for a relationship.
I think most women know this. Unless there's a generational gap here. I personally like to take it slow and steady, slow and steady. Ramping up closer and closer to 100 OVER TIME. Not all men like to take their time and I've met quite a few men, low value men who want a fast woman, and that's not me. I have a hard time telling a LOT of men, not all but a LOT, that sex is not out of the question but I need to gradually get there with INCREMENTAL steps of sensuality. This is EXACTLY along the lines of what Dr. Taraban was getting at when he said "LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time". So there is a challenge for us women in dating, we ramp upwards from 0-100 but many, many stupid men want instant gratification. They then don't understand why they get dumped. I can't tell you how many men I've had to get rid of because he couldn't understand that taking things slow and steady is the best way to stoke her sex drive.
@@tarablue4472 Most men don't mind waiting for sex if they like the woman. A man will even be happy to wait until marriage if the woman is a virgin. What men simply cannot accept is a woman making him wait for sex if she had in one night stands or casual sex in her past. That is disgusting to most men.
Any man that has ever lost a girl that they really liked knows that it isn’t necessarily the girl that was the prettiest or had the nicest body. Losing the one that was the nasty lil mf hurts the most
I wish I could agree but I cannot. The nastiest, sluttiest women I have been with have all shown very early that they are also completely lacking in long-term relationship skills and values. More specifically, they were all 🦇💩 crazy, wanting me to do things to them that would put me greatly at risk.
Only Dr. Orion, who has built his reputation via personal experience, getting a Ph.D., and created a massive following, has the most credibility to give out this well spoken advice
I don’t know if a logical response to an emotional reaction is going to change the feelings involved here, Dr. Taraban. If it could, this wouldn’t be the piece of advice that women object to. You explained it very reasonably in several earlier videos. If you have a way to explain it and have it make emotional sense, rather than using pure logic, I would try that.
Agreed, as men we fully understand and respond to logic. Women mostly don't. I tried this for 10 years being married and finally gave up and divorced her so that I wouldn't go insane with the lack of logic on her end. Like almost all other women around her.
To say that is to misunderstand his entire message and probably even the entire situation. First, he is addressing a small portion of his female audience. This means most women are catching up to the changes in the game and are interested to varying degrees in becoming more reciprocal partners, which is actually awesome and gives out an optimistic view of the landscape. The women he is addressing, are those that are having trouble with the process of integrating awareness of their and men's underlying value structures (aka animalistic instincts) and how they interact with drastic changes society is going through. If he has proof that there are good faith women learning and integrating these truths successfully, it's only fair that he attempts to help those women having trouble with it. So, instead of being a cynical imbecile, Orion sees that just as many men haven't adapted to the changes, many women are experiencing enough trouble in their lives that is moving them towards this type of content, which means the whole problem right now comes down to: how can you help everyone adapt? Things are changing in the red pill landscape dude. I get that it has been really hard to articulate the issue and the solutions, which justifies why most of the things men were saying came out as criticism towards women, but now that we have figures like Taraban, the time to move on from that is coming and the more women catch up with these truths, the more important it becomes to help them play the game fairly. Taraban himself said it at the very beginning, the goal of this channel is to navigate these topics WITHOUT alienating women. You have to extend your hand to them because that's how we figure the whole thing out.
@@v8superspecial He did use the term "nastiest, sluttiest" a lot without an attempt at a more palatable preamble. The first half of the video involves a "sh!t test" at least.
On the face of it, your analysis that a woman must be useful to a man's life is correct. Unfortunately what most women get from that is "I should ACT useful until I get what I want" If you are a man that is currently in a relationship with a woman and you are wondering how overnight... "she suddenly changed". Brother, she didn't change... she just got tired of acting. Worse... she did her 10 years and now she doesn't NEED to act any more. Say hello to the State Family Court System.
No, she didn't get tired of "acting". The fact is that too many men NEGLECT her sexual needs. She is also saddled with a disproportionate amount of the domestics which fatigues her. Fatigue is the number one libido killer for women. Over time her libido drops but not for the reasons you stated but because her sexual needs are unmet and she is fatigued.
And on the other side: men can often STOP doing any REAL EFFORT after they've gotten the gf/wife. Like it's "not fair" that a woman expects him to contiue to make any effort--just like men DO seem to expect continued effort. In recent years, there seems to be a lot more ZER EFFORT men around. How about BOTH women & men GIVE IT OUR BEST?!
Thank you! I am 71, have been married 3 times, and have had enough pain trying to make relationships work and picking the wrong person! I can use all of the advice I can get. I am just starting a new one and you have given me many ideas on how to handle things this time.
May I just add that this is good advice under the premise that woman generally has a "dating goal" of coupling up with someone. I wonder why we always take this as a given. We have a sexuality even if we don't want a committed relationship
Dr. Taraban, your advice is great. My thought? It’s *too* logical. As a fellow fan of rational, pragmatic approaches to things, this pains me to say. Women don’t want to think or be logical about this. I recently had a woman tell me she feels cornered by my logicality, that she dislikes hypocrisies being pointed out and criticized. This is a professional woman who has also demonstrated her intelligence personally. I thanked her for her candor, and realized: women truly don’t want to think, don’t want to reason. They want to feel. They experience it as offensive that logic should be applied to how they manage their sexuality, rather than pure heat of the moment. As such, while I applaud your efforts, I don’t think any amount of reasonableness will get through to a woman who rejects reason itself.
I entirely understand what you’re saying, and agree & sympathise with your experience. Which I share. But as well, I believe that communicating and being honest, truthful and factual is never a lost cause. As such, I thank you for giving me the opportunity to be optimistic and candid myself on this subject for once. If I may, I found in my experience, over 2 decades of marriage so far, that you are partly right, in the sense that you cannot just bring hard cold logicality-causality of human behaviour (to women especially, if I may risk the mention) at just about any time and at any place. But instead, there has to be some emotions, temporality and setting attached to it indeed. As your comment should intuitively points out. One must find the right time and mood, spirit and disposition to discuss and patiently unthread the strings of our complex lives with his partner. And still, most likely than not, one has to wait a certain time for the message to be absorbed and eventually agreed upon by the receiver. So... easier said than done I concede. Just the rambling of an internet random Georges... o_0
@ I agree. I’m still learning, it seems that it might be possible to communicate rationality to women if you engage their emotions first. But I’ll need more experience before I make up my mind
He’s got a valid point when it comes to staying attached to the man. I had to drop both my ex girlfriends when they became arrogant or disrespectful when it comes to my time and money. They thought I would stay with them because they offered some sexual provisions and they were pretty.
Ok i get your well articulated point. The problem is that relationships are a moving target just like hunting or fishing or gardening. You will never have solid relationships with anyone if you constantly frame the beginning goal as the end goal. Being your nasty self with someone in order to open up the door in some ways is the same as overly trying to impress someone with love bombing when you know you cannot sustain it. You want to get the attention with someone then be yourself and the attention will come if its a real connection. Think about dude, getting someone on the hook with bait never lasts. Sooner or later your life will be about the bait. When someone really is into you no bait is necessary.
Good point. I didn't see the video that this video refers too but I do find that he articulates in a round about way and that may get him misunderstood. It's bad strategy to act our "nastiest" prematurely, that's baiting like you said and it's not sustainable. Make sure the guy is the one for us and that he's into us before signalling that we're ready to take it to the next level. I think the doc would agree but he didn't articulate it well.
The bait is just part of it but not enough. Make yourself useful and don’t disrespect man. High value man will not commit and waste time giving you what you want before you show class and value. I sense some disrespect for the Doc. It’s unnecessary to call him a DUDE. Probably he is much more than you ever be in every aspect of life.
Because women tend to hate the men that commit to them. In their subconscious they view the man that commits as lesser than the one that doesn't. It doesn't matter that it isn't true what matter is they do not acknowledge the less flattering parts of their subconscious and let it run amok filling in the blanks. Its like the old adage if you think someone is a thief then they are, and if you think the same person isn't a thief then they aren't.
It seems women want a submissive alpha male. So they are in an never ending inner battle with themselves. From one side they want a docile, committed man, and in the same time they crave a dangerous leader aka *Real Man*™
Please @Orion, continue what you are doing, it is so helpful to so many. Don't allow others to push you on the defensive. You don't owe any explanations to those who do not try to understand. Avoid defensive videos like these, please. You are giving your critics more than they deserve, to your own detriment.
I have had female friends, and know a little bit about it, from the male side... And I know that I have had to consciously relate very differently, because I have felt sexual attraction for all of them 😎.... Male friendships are possible, and beneficial, providing he has - preferably both sex - 'integrated their sexuality'. He needs to have this for his own protection, in a friendship situation, because he needs to be capable of navigating the highly likely eventuality of sexual attraction arising for said female friend. He needs this for his own protection, because without a degree of skill in this domain for himself, he will more than likely pursue relationship with said female friend, not for friendship, but for sex. This is a deceitful strategy, which seems innocuous at first, but means, ultimately, that there was no friendship to begin with - he was only interested in sex, it was all a ruse...Even to himself... Human relationships are complicated, and one can relate in many ways, but if the goal is friendship, then he needs to be aware of his own desire for sexual expression - it is much easier for 'older' gentlemen, who have matured past their sexual prime (even if they still have a high sex drive) to have more beneficial friendships with women, simply because they're not as likely to be fooled by their desires for sex - it does not overwhelm their addled brains like it did when they were 18, or even 30 years old... There is also 'a degree of distance', that any lady needs to show and express with male friends - the desire for emotional connection must be 'lowered'. Not necessarily given up, but 'taken down a notch': men will get confused the more emotional content is 'flowing between the two'. This is usually reserved for intimate partners, therapists, and family (if the family members are mature enough to deal with it). They will be confused, because the more emotional content within the relationship will 'trigger arousal' and may incite desire in the man. So, briefly, if the desire is to establish a strong emotional connection with another man (is this why friendship is desired? Strong emotional content, support, 'flow of intimate details', without sex?), then definitely reconsider 'friendship' with another man. Establish strong emotional connections with other people who can handle it - other women, therapists, family members, and perhaps older gentleman who have 'been around the block', etc... By all means, explore and test. Just be very discerning and learn from experience. Things can get real weird, real fast when you try 'to be friends' but have sexual tension literally busting out your nut sack for the other person - I have had to communicate very directly (I was scared as hell, and was received well) about it all, and have to navigate differently to live truth, and not a lie.
Found your channel yesterday you’re absolutely right and realistic! THANK YOU for not watering things down or just telling people what they want to hear like most of these red pill stupid brainwashed ideologies. 🙏🙏
My perspective on this is that respect and desire are directly related for a woman. If she "respects" you but does not desire you (think sexless marriage where she pretends nothing is wrong but her own low sex drive), you are actually not respected at all and are being used as a meal ticket/ status quo/ puppy dog/ emotional tampon/ tree branch, etc. If she desires you, as you have said in one of your other videos, she will do anything for you because she actually respects you. Most men aren't going to believe this until they witness it for themselves. Believe me, I was (am) as beta "best friend" nice guy as they come. Seeing the other side of the duality of woman opened my eyes so hard I will never go back. If she's not displaying active desire for you, you are being used. Full stop. The sickening part of the whole thing is when you realize that pretty much all women desire and respect *someone* - to your point about she has to be her "nastiest, sluttiest version of herself" for someone. If you're not getting that, she doesn't respect or desire you. End of story. And how many guys before you has the "love of your life" respected and desired on orders of magnitude more than she respects or desires you? And how many of those guys were random fucking strangers? Time to unplug fellas.
I know it's not popular to say it. However I'm of the belief that sleeping around and having non-comitted sex is actually damaging to a woman. The only ones benefitting from it are predatory men. We call them pick-up artists.
I have found this channel to be very insightful, but I knew from the get-go that it would get a lot of flak because of the to-the-point nature of the videos. Our culture has a real problem with people that are direct. People are overly focused on how they’re made to feel rather than the ideas being offered. I’m glad to hear that most of the reception has been positive.
9:06 but from this interaction, a woman can not tell the difference between a narcissist man who only engages in short term mating and a man who just needed some convincing. And unlike men who can have a hundred mating partners and experience little/no emotional harm, women DO get hurt from feeling used or unwanted after a sexual encounter. Your stategy has the potential to cause many heartaches for women with little change to the status quo for men.
You are quite right. But 1, I trust you haven't, or shouldn't, meet a hundred men that you feel strongly are The one, that you deploy the mentioned strategy. Or the problem lies somewhere else. And 2, the thing is, finding a, or 'The', partner of your life will always be a tricky-never-entirely-foreseeable gambit anyway, no matter how you go about it. And for both parties. Still, there are strategies that leads to higher success than others. I think that's the point here. But I hear you. Just try and understand it is also a gambit for men, we're not having it any easier. You best believe. Wishing you the very best. Cheers
I've listened to quite a few episodes of PsycHacks, and the logic reason, and... psychology behind why people do the things they do, in the way they do them, and the reasons behind those actions, are not only fascinating to dissect, but also so incredibly spot on. And I think the only reason somebody would ever be upset with this content, is because they either have the inability to understand a "different" perspective, due to what I would probably classify as a lack of emotional intelligence, or they; in another way of saying it, straight up just don't like hearing the truth.
One thing Dr. Taraban didn’t seem to explicitly point out in his analogy, although it may have been implied, is that we can’t just go above and beyond in any fashion. We have to research and inquire about the very specific ways we can demonstrate our suitability for the job and behave accordingly. With regard to women towards men it isn’t enough to simply prove useful. Women must take steps to find out exactly what the man wants in or out of the potential relationship. It’s how some “red pillers” might say: She has to be able and willing to get on HIS program!
The main thing most men want is a woman who doesn't complain, control or nag. If you don't treat him poorly, maybe do the dishes or laundry once in a while and provide him with good sex, most men are happy 😊
Us men really *are* simple creatures. Invite him over at least one weeknight per week for a home prepared meal. Invest in good lingerie. *Ask him* about his life - is he traveling? Offer to drive him to the airport, and pick him up. Sneak something intimate into his luggage, and call him that first night to discuss it. Etc.
If I could write him a Million dollar check, I would. On the same note, all the invaluable advice given, I somehow already knew. Would have saved soo much money, time and effort. Orion is the man, thanks!!
Life is a delicate flower - you have to plant the seed and take care of it before it can blossom into something beautiful, even then you have to take care of it as it can be crushed to easily I remember you saying the words plant the seed, I invented this nearly 3 years ago, there is a photo of several tiny flowers on my desk at work to remind me of this, also has a feather given to me from my love that we were apart for 29 of the 30 years I knew her. I think we are very much alike - intelligent, well educated and extremely analytic, we analyze everything upside down and backwards. I encourage you to consider something I tell myself everyday Forget what happened before, forget what is happening now. Do not underestimate the power of positive thinking and suggestion. You have to believe you can do it before you can do it. There is no substitute for being inventive, resourceful, and downright clever. Ask yourself are these the words of a loving father before you speak. Do not seek external validation - strength comes from within. Happiness is a decision and comes from within. Only you can find this person inside you screaming to come out because inside is where you will find the motivation to transform your life into something incredible and that is what I think life is all about.
I think your biggest problem with this is word choice. “Nasty” and “slutty” are generally used as pejoratives, right up there with “skank” and “whore.” You clarified that there is a very great range with regard to the behavior you are espousing, so why not just say “most sensual and passionate version of yourself“?
Because this is vague, euphemistic nonsense. How about we just say what we mean instead of wrapping it up to generate more confusion? What the hell does that even really what you wrote? How is anyone going to figure out what that means?
@@LisaCulton No, the commenter said they had a problem with Orions clear, to the point and understandable language, only to then offer a more vague and less clear replacement. People with even a modest command of the English language would understand what I meant when I pointed this out. And at the core of it this isn't a problem with the linguistics, it is a problem with emotions.
Love your content, Orion! I do agree with much of your insightful messages, even as a woman!! I've noticed a little short-sightedness among the many comments from men, though, in that they disdain women's tendency to operate less from an analytical stand-point and more from the realm of emotionality. Both genders, in my humble subjective, could improve significantly by attempting to view relationships through the others' gender lenses. What seems like "common sense" to a man or a woman should not be a given. We are not the same! It is understandably not an easy pill to swallow to understand and accept that men view women as a pretty sex object and women view men as a meal ticket.
That’s a valid point. Men do need to understand the differences just like we expect women to understand them. We expect a women to make the “smart” decision and pick the safer man, who does nothing for her emotionally. But the bad boy that drives her emotions, we expect her to leave him alone. 😂. That’s because we believe women should be more analytical…..until they are. Then We say they’re being too masculine. 😂😂.
I think that the fallacy in the Dr.'s argument is that having "slutty sex" is going to change a man's feelings toward a woman. A man will feel a certain way about a woman, and that won't change with sex. It will just offer him temporary relief from his desires, and not much more. It is not going to suddenly make a man highly attracted to a woman. Even if a woman were lousy in bed, that wouldn't prevent a man from loving her deeply. Coversely, regarless of how good a woman is in bed, that won't buy love. If a woman thinks that it will, then she's likely to end up feeling used.
@@completelymindfucked That is kind of a curious statement. What I suspect is that when people get involved with intimate relationships, they don't conciously think of the transactional nature what occurs. We, usually gain something from releationships, and particularly from romantic relationships. If there is no gain in a relationship, there is less incentive to have that relationship. One of the things that I used to see in the personal ads, placed by women, was a refernce to finances. They would put something like: "must be financially secure." Almost all of the ads from femalss had that kind of line in it. The ad from men, almost never had a reference to finances. You can see right there that the women were interested in the financial gain aspect of a relationship. this makes sense as women, were for thousands of years, dependent on security from a man (cavemen had no 911 or police.) So, they needed the biggest strongest male to protect them and create and protect offspring. The modern itterations of that is women looking at money as security. This should come as no surprise. Very young women won't display this "characteristic" when looking for a boyfriend, but they very quickly learn to look at money. So, I don't think that the Dr. is wrong on this, I just think that women (in particular) don't like to be reminded of the transactional nature of their behavior. Men do transactional stuff too, but it frequently involves sex, as a high priority.
> A man will feel a certain way about a woman, and that won't change with sex It definitely will - but not in the way you thought. If a boyfriend or husband found out that his partner had one night stands and casual sex with some men but made him wait weeks/months for sex then he will likely start looking at her with disgust. The relationship would probably end shortly after.
@@cyrusp100 You took a quote from me, and that was this: "... A man will feel a certain way about a woman and that won't change with sex... " It has nothing to do with the statement that I said. What you're proposing is an entirely different situation. You're adding in a third person.
The issue is that many people think that sex is a commodity to be traded and they are not interested in sex, only a relationship, or taking away time money energy and attention. The whole concept of taking a wild beast and taming them that and public image who wants that image
Dr Taraban, thanks to you I have been the slutiest version of myself in the bedroom with my BF and let me tell you how much happier both of us have been. Your analysis and advice on relationships are all spot on! 👍🏻
I think an important distinction is between being the "nastiest" in intimate moments vs being "nastiest" in conversation and social engagements. It's good marriage advice that partners have no inhibitions between them - you should explore sex more deeply with your spouse than with any previous partners. (Not long ago, it would have been the ideal that your spouse is the *only* person you ever have sex with - and the Buddhist and Christian thinkers that Orion sometimes cites in other contexts would agree.) But that doesn't mean a man wants to marry a woman who talks salaciously or dresses provocatively when they're together in public. Put that way, I think most women would agree with Orion's advice. Explore sex freely, boldly, and confidently with the man you love - but don't embarrass him by acting like a skank when you're out together.
Maybe it sounds crass, but logic is logic. You broke it down perfectly. It's really no different than saying a man should be the KINDEST, most PROTECTIVE, and most GENEROUS version of himself to the woman with whom he wants to be in a relationship. If either assertion offends you, maybe you should stay single.
that seems like common sense, but then you have to confront that women have a burning hatred for men that are kind, protective, and generous. I think you are a little delusional if you think that this is currently a 50/50 issue.
@@divababy4463 funny that you ask this when you have another comment on this channel saying “only a small percentage of men have resources so women have to make sacrifices”. Your statement explains why not much emphasis is placed on women’s character.
Hey, I think I didn't listen carefully, is that possible? He didn't say that ladies' feedback is not substantive, he said that much of the feedback was not substantive (you know, the usual hateful comments without nuance, depth or constructive arguments).
Where you went wrong was... " The man she WANTS to have a relationship with" instead of "the man that she's in a relationship with" .... That's a HUGE difference. And women with class would never do the first but always do the second 😉
I think this might be good advice for this "market place" concept he's talking about. To me it sounds like stategy for a video game but not actual physical reality. There wasn't a single mention of the wisdom of listening to your body. I'd suggest including intuition and somatics in decisions around sexuality and relationships over something conceptual some guy on the internet said. No mention either of a womans desires changing with rhe stages of her cycle. Talking therapy isn't going to fix endometriosis, period pains or IBS etc if you disconnect from your body.
Part of the problem is word choice. “Nastiest, sluttiest” would you choose ”most shameful, most disgusting, dirtiest, sinful, whorish?” No. Perhaps if you said “sexiest, shameless, uninhibited, responsive, physically loving, demonstrative, enthusiastic, aim for the moon, do it all” You are talking about sex as dirty. That belongs to the nineteenth century. ( I’m a psychologist too) also…you entire approach is, yes, utilitarian. When I say entire it’s because you do omit words such as compassionate, fun living, daring, empathetic, which add depth of caring. You may be in favor of these things but I heard no mention of them in your remarks.
Orion is a lot of things but dumb isn’t one of them. I think he chose those words specifically because they’re spicy and to get people talking about him.
Thanks. Even at an advanced age, this is very good advice for the ladies i encounter. For example, although I know that my current woman has been around the block (or several), she still insists on my 'commitment' before action. In her dreams.
I'm at 3:11 in the video and I want to hazard a guess that most women who don't like the idea to be the most sexually active and enthusiastic with a long term partner/prospect are those who form relationships with men they don't really find attractive, like gold diggers or ones who have casual sex with very attractive men but can't hold them down for LTRs. These women would of course be annoyed by the idea that they should be the most enthusiastic with subpar men, from their point of view.
This episode took me back to the temple at the top of a mountain 🏔️ by Chiang Mai, Thailand 🇹🇭 where the monks in orange 🍊 robes would be chanting and humming for hours on end 🙏
I think, while you often talk about "high value men", you never talk about those "low value men" and their perspective. "Low value" often only means not being a certain height or income. And they are the majority. And in the end, the majority of women will need to settle with them. Maybe there are even some women, that are actually after something else then just income. Here is another point you never say: Many men also WANT to have a family. They want to commit. They aren't tricked into it, but want it. And some have a hard time finding a women. So the problem for most women is less how to secure a "high value man", but how to find happiness with a nice guy, that in your metrics is only "low value".
You're right that he goes on about high value man when most men are mid value at best. My advice to these men is to have something in the bedroom to offer. Be seductive and be a really good lover, don't be selfish. Know that it isn't just men who want sex. Make sex as effortless as possible for her, don't place demands on her. Give her lots of foreplay, make sex really fun for her and you've got one up on Chad.
as an arab the condition is not that difficult or complicated for men to have comitment towards their pasrtners or for women to be usefull and try hard to stay in the house as you expressed but a good video to know how it works in "competitive industries and other markets" and i wish there is someone who presents such content that suits my culture and market as some of your stratigies and advices will just ruin the whole thing if applied as it is here
He's dropping game that mothers (and fathers) used to drop to their sons and daughters...Especially, the one about holding hands..Think of it as 10 steps...People jump straight over steps 1-9 - You can do and express ALOT on those first few steps...Hand holding was one of them....
While the overwhelming majority of my feedback has been positive, a small contingent of (mostly female) viewers has proven quite negative. And the overwhelming majority of that negativity is in response to some of my advice on how "to hook" a man. In this episode, I respond to that criticism and emphasize the importance of using sexuality intentionally and strategically.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
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Love your home decor! That floor is nice & shiny.
Give good 'hand holding'. It's sensuality is VERY underrated.
oh boy… what are we gonna do with you Orion. 2:11 I wasn’t arguing that. My beef is with the notion of competing with other women for the same guy. To beat out the competition through extra sexual effort was the way I remember that ‘Hook’ episode because otherwise there is no need to be the sluttiest version… most guys are happy just getting laid and if it’s consistent guys normally progress towards a relationship to secure that sexual opportunity because otherwise they lose it.
This advice if followed is going to escalate hypergamous tendencies in women. Talk about cut throat. All the other poor fellas are going to be stuck at the bottom behind the screen waiting til the days they turn 40 so that they can finally experience the real thing. Heyyy! At least they’ll have something to look forward to.
Highly sought women are the ones that usually beat out the competition in normal circumstances. Guys usually want the girl that everyone wants. Men don’t let these women walk… they don’t take the risk and if they do it’s not too far because most guys will know when they have a keeper.
Guys value a woman who not only adds value to his life, but a woman who has intrinsic value, internal worth. Some are better at distinguishing this than others and it takes an intelligent man to know what is truly valuable in a woman. A good woman can always gain more bedroom experience. It’s Good Qualities that are rare these days because a guy can pay for the sluttiest sex just about anywhere…. But a good woman is not something he can pay for these days. Anyone can ‘act’ useful in the beginning, but not everyone is actually useful.
9:27 Exactly. Full ⭕️ circle.
The problem with your advice is that "commitment" and "sex" are not a fair exchange, they are not even close.
For a woman who gives sex there is so much more at stake than for a man who gives commitment. So there is no way you can compare these two things. A woman can get pregnant, die from the pregnancy or die from the abortion or suffer a trauma from having an abortion. Women even die from being on birth control, because these pills give them pulmonary embolism.
These things will never happen to a man from having sex. But a woman literally risks her life every time she has sex, if she's aware of it or not.
So, no, giving away sex in order to get commitment is by no means a fair exchange and you shouldn't perpetuate this dangerous advice to young women.
I think most of your assessment of the current dating climate are accurate. It makes perfect sense why a winning strategy is popular given 1 out of 6 people are narcissist and I can see why they will favor this kind of strategy. It is pretty clear that women are not your demographic audiences and it is fine if that is what you prefer but it makes sense why women don't see this as the method to get what they want, especially in the content of pursing after true love and happiness versus fighting to be an option for someone like P. DIDDY.
Legend says Dr. Taraban is still saying "loooooong" till this very day.
Lmao there’s a universe out there somewhere where this is true
I felt a Crazy Frog moment coming at that point. :-)
😂
oooooooooooooooooong
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Let me simplify this: The mistake I tell my female friends that they make is: stoping their fun, free, sexual adventurous side when the decide to “settle down”. It’s a one way ticket to being unfulfilled. It’s when they find that man who they want to be with the rest of their lives that should and must get their best, freakiest, and wildest side. They will like it. He will like it. And life will be better being nasty with the one you trust.
What you should have told them is that their husband is the "only" one who should have their freaky adventurous side and no one else. If they were virgins before meeting him, this incentivises them indulging in their freakiness because their husband is the only one she can do it with. And she has no experience either, so she can't say anything like "I've been there done that, I can do without".
Logically flawless, however the reality is their wild abandonment is triggered by ideas of gain and fomo. It's completely effortless to them when those conditions are in place. Once they've got the financial commitment, kids, house and know they can retain all of that post divorce however it becomes a case of diminishing returns. No more to gain. No fomo. Thus it takes effort to get freaky.
And if you haven't noticed, they're not keen on effort. It's not sexy. It isn't a 'vibe'.
Sorry to say but there really are no answers in the space. It's well meaning and all but it's not going to move the dial.
Logically flawless, however the reality is their wild abandonment is triggered by ideas of gain and fomo. It's completely effortless to them when those conditions are in place. Once they've got the financial commitment, kids, house and know they can retain all of that post divorce however it becomes a case of diminishing returns. No more to gain. No fomo. Thus it takes effort to get freaky.
And if you haven't noticed, they're not keen on effort. It's not sexy. It isn't a 'vibe'.
Sorry to say but there really are no answers in the space. It's well meaning and all but it's not going to move the dial.
You can’t help attraction. All this doing and trying won’t cut it in the end. But you can give-and-take and “continue” in a relationship.
People come and go, and sometimes they don’t.
Yes but its easier said than done. A man becomes a security blanket, a father. Not some fun guy he was, when dating.
I'll answer why: because they view relationships as struggles for power. If they give their relationship man validation (through sex), then they lose that as a tool to control him.
Ding ding ding
The more I understand women's nature, the more contradictions I find in their psyche. They want a powerful man to submit to, but (some) women simultaneously take acts to gain control in the relationship (usually through manipulation). Those two things are at odds with each other. But I think it is just women testing their man. If he asserts control and doesn't enter her frame, he then "passes" the test. But yet many women, when challenged like this, impulsively end the relationship, in order to retain that semblance of power.
@@Warbr33dRead Practical Female Psychology by Joseph W. South and David Clare. They are evolutionary biologists who deeply dived into what you said. Women DO want to submit to an alpha man, but because of their inherent need to have the most control in their relationships, they will constantly “test” him and push his boundaries, often subconsciously. This often causes the man to break down over time and become a shell of his former self. Essentially, the longer a relationship lasts, the harder it becomes for a man to maintain his alpha frame. Those traits inherently contradict the beta traits necessary to maintain a long term relationship. For men, it’s almost like a zero-sum game.
Nice
@@Khan-rz8qinone of this would be a problem if women were judged, shamed and rejected by communities according to their behavior, and with laws such that men can control such destructive behavior. the real mistake is allowing women to break families and commitments over their feelings, and them not being used to having to regulate their urges cause there is no consequence anymore. modern society allows women to behave in a way that is biologically analogous to allowing men to beat, rape and kill without consequence, and then wondering why no communities can come out of this.
its also completely pointless for men to try to "maintain frame", cause if she tests you at all, she is prioritizing sexuality over family, and at that point its pointless to try.
Thanks!
I am dating a younger man and I have been willing to do what younger women around me don’t do which is listen to him and give him attention. That has worked for me
You really blew up man. I was following you way in the beginning but it didn’t take long for you to be where you are. Thank you for your insight and time to educate us or at least question our own beliefs and thinking
lol he literally said he has been doing this awhile.😂
@@CaliforniatoWestAfrica on TH-cam?
Made me check, he is on the road to 500K subs
How many did he have when you started watching and listening to his advice?
@@CaliforniatoWestAfrica what? On TH-cam?
@@danielkrawczyk3341 I don’t quite remember, 2 or 3 years ago, it was a few hundred
I wish I could have used some of this language 20 years ago when I instinctively understood how bad this was, but couldn't articulate as well as you do. I have told more than a few women that by being a "bad girl" with "bad boys" and then coming back around looking for a good guy, once your done being a bad girl, is insanity and leads to resentment all around the table.
True but it's their biology
Unless the man doesnt know about it. Also, alot of women find "Jesus" later in their life. Thus, giving them a clear conscious to never having to be a "slut" ever again. And married men are more than happy to get starfish sex once a month 5 years into their marriage.
@@GUITARTIME2024 A bit like men who chase hot, colorful, "vibrant" girls in high school and early 20's, only to have them snatched by the few Chads out there. In their mid 30's, even later (taking their sweet time afforded by mother nature), they are finally ready to "settle down" with a virtuous plain Jane, one they are not "really" all that attracted to but by golly, will make "a good mother for my children" and won't cheat, since Chads won't buzz around her. The wife feels it and responds in kind.
People with a transactionalist mentality deserve their fate, both men and women.
Try a soulmate.
It doesn't matter how you put it - they just don't wanna hear it
Men are sleeping around more and not exactly with nuns, should we be resentful too?
Once again the good Dr handing out 5 star advice and the feminist can’t handle it.
He must be protected at all costs
Feminists is a looses term. I have a yet to meet a woman who is NOT implicitly a feminist. It’s 2nd nature to them.
Why wouldn’t they advocate openly or covertly for their exclusive advantage? It’s only rational. The only difference is between the ugly or desperate/hurt ones who advocate overtly and explicitly vs your more typical woman who agrees supports and goes along silently while pretending to sound rational like “yeah, Modern Fem-ism has gone too far…etc”. Rest assured, they both feel the same way and bat for the same team.
I really wish Orion would do a breakdown of Phyllis Shlaffley’s interview from the 1970’s where a supposedly traditional, conservative, family oriented “housewife” advocates the exact same feminist values that pink haired, bra burning, screeching Betty espouses. Case in point, if it’s a woman - it’s a feminist. Don’t fall for the diff flavor
@@mr.t993 the OP brought up the buzz words and I just responded with
🙋♀️ feminist here. I agree with him 🤷♀️ Generalizing people isn't helpful. You, I'm sure, are not like EVERY other man, right?
I am a woman and as a Latina, I can say that these behaviors from our friends only help us 😂🤷🏻♀️.Since the obvious still needs to be said. In Europe, it's almost a third world war to say that a woman shouldn't go around having sex with everyone.
Here in England, a woman who cooks and knows how to clean a house without complaining is extremely rare. My colleagues complain about this all week at work.
Which of course, in Latin America is the most normal thing.
Cheers, Orion.
Personally I think a woman who has a merry heart .. enjoys washing dishes and cleaning up is what being a "helper" is all about .. and being "available" (defined as a companion .. doing many things together) "sex" can be defined as anything that comes with "making love" .. (a touch, hug, kiss, wink, sweet words, naughtiness, and more). "Making HATE" would be anything that doesn't add to the other side of the scales. Certainly we all have our chosen ones we are most comfortable with .. someone who trusts us .. as we trust them. I love some of my men friends .. but I don't see them as sexual partners .. same goes for my women friends. The emotional drain is way too taxing and complicated. Commitment means I'm here to be whatever you need and I am able to help with .. and that means things like paying bills, caring for pets, pulling the load if you have a broken limb or sick. Who would think it's a good idea to yoke up a Camel with a Goose .. an Ox with a Race Horse .. even if they are both the same .. it doesn't mean they are "paired". I enjoyed your comment. 🙂 I fix interesting meals .. and leave the kitchen clean! ;-) lol
I had noticed this very thing about European women, like in Sweden for example. Their behavior leads to PTSD, Bipolar, BPD, and other myriad of mental/ emotional maladies and despite their high IQ in other areas their emotional intelligence and wisdom is lacking. Was there some sort of brainwashing in Europe? They defend their right to self destruct with admirable passion!
Essentially western women are making you, girls of the other part of the world look better. I don't think it's necessary a bad thing, I have dealt with a lot of women and it's because of the bad one that I learned to appreciate the good one and cherish them.
I second that ! In France, God forbid if I ever dared suggesting that maybe women should try reducing on sleeping around with strangers… holy cow, I got called allllll kind of names and got told it wasn’t the middle ages anymore, that women have rights and all the generic gibberish
While reading this, I couldn't help revising this in my mind to something like, "It's all my colleagues complain about during post-sex latency (i.e. refractory period) ..." LOL 😄 Cheers.
Your argument is 100% logically valid. What I've learned though from women friends is women compartmentalize fun exploratory sex with the casual guy vs transactional sex with the relationship guy. To them from their perspective it makes 110% sense but they cannot grasp how this undermines their relationship goals especially for attractive men unwilling to get slotted into transactional relationship sex only
“They cannot grasp how this affects their relationship goals”. Exactly, because they aren’t as logical and rational as us.
"To them from their perspective it makes 110% sense" I love it, even the doctor makes this type of statement trying not to highlight too harshly the extreme irrationality of woman. To a 5 year old it makes 110% sense that babies come from storks.
Doctor, i am a woman and i think that your advices are amazing and i did not find any negative one! Keep up the good work!
The problem is most women refuse to acknowledge that they have a two tier mating strategy.
Chads get everything on a silver platter. While Brads get the bare minimum while having to pay the bills.
Bc it's subconscious. They just act like the feel like acting.
Sorry but dating is not fair, just accept it
Brads have to Learn to master the GAME, be more assertive, dominant, masculine, fun, playful, and they will make their Woman all turned on ! Learn thé game and apply it. It works. No need for being good looki g liké a Chad nor rich....Just improve your Inner Game and Game! It's a CHEAT CODE....
Because for as long as humans have been around that was the ideal female mating strategy: get Brad to raise your child conceived by Chad! The second best was have Brad raise your child conceived by the same Brad.
@@williambontrager2349 That's why they should never hold power. They obviously can't deal properly with having autonomy and choice.
Of course they criticize you because you’re exposing their games and they can’t control the simps no more
Exposing the games means less simps - at least, it should...
@@Doberman_6773You can’t stop weak desperate men from being weak and desperate. Even if you expose the game they don’t care.
Unfortunately simps will continue to save these women who deserve to stay alone forever.
@@Price-kl3lb I know; I always get optimistic on Fridays.
@@Price-kl3lb Every strategy gets a counter-strategy. This is the main theme, that you should have learned in these redpill-circles.
@@perieven6357 There is no counter strategy. The red pill is the final attack, there is no counter to the red pill.
Women have been practicing this for thousands of years. It’s only recently that men have made counters for it. Then knowing about it literally changes nothing for women, but it changes a lot for men.
If every man collectively decided to be red pilled. Female behavior would be fixed immediately. Unfortunately weak men will always be weak and desperate.
10:23 “The cost of winning is overpaying” is a great quote. One of my IT colleagues explained that the company had a team that handled phones. He was told that you can’t say “Yes” to everything because the demands will become outrageous. He came in as the new guy trying to prove himself so he did it anyway. When the company was sold, he was the only phone guy they kept. So it did pay in the beginning but he ask do learned the hard lesson of what they were explaining.
Interestingly enough, years later I went through the same thing. I’m not with a different company with slightly less pay but am appreciated, given opportunities, etc.
I think this can happen in relationships as well so I think a “Be careful what you ask for” would be a great follow up to this one. He’s telling the ladies what to do to get the guy they want but they need to be able to determine if the long term goal is strictly financial or would they trade some of that for character just like I was happy to trade it for a company culture of less stress and demands.
I love the way you deliver messages with clarity and objectionability. Thank you! Another great video.
As a female who found you from SWU's interview, your videos are the raw truth of a man's perspective of life. Something entirely different from the female experience. I see the techniques you describe in videos in my subconscious history, both good and bad (because we're all learning as we go), and i find videos that explain what my husband can experience but not fully communicate.
I'm married to what one would call a high dollar man, older(but looks my age or younger at times), good money, loving, all that.
When we linked i was early 20s and he was late 30s so in reality we're probably a little even on your scale of desirability.
The best part is our communication. And your videos have become part of that communication.
And I'm not afraid to admit that being the "sluttiest version of myself" was how I won him in the end over the other competition and got that "Facebook official" status lol.
Best fish I've ever caught.
You’re one of the few smart ones. Hence catching one of the biggest fish. Kudos.
Thanks for being truthful and not pious.
fish I have ever caught
I am married to what u would call a high dollar man
So this is what dr.orion teaches females to be gold diggers
@@perpetualprocrastinator Dito. Thanks for your comment. Wishing you the best.
Moral of the video: “LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONGGGGG DISTANCE”
That "The Demise of F*ngering" comedy clip came to mind as he said it
I will definitely use that trick to explain something looooooooong! :-D
when I first started listening to your channel, it took me a moment to absorb the information that you were giving. I am a seasoned woman who can take positive criticism when it’s due, but some of the things you were stating took me aback. after thinking about what you were saying, it was easier for me to absorb some of the scenarios you were talking about. With that said, I feel like it’s only fair to say that a woman has to feel that she’s comfortable to give certain sides of herself to a man. This is why when I’m dating I tend to ask a lot of questions and ask for responses from my potential partner. What it really comes down to at the end of the day, is that potential partners need to feel comfortable expressing these innermost desires about themselves to each other. The divorce rate is very high and I find the reason why this is, is because we lack a confidence and telling our partner what it is, that we really desire. On the other end, there is a lot of men that don’t want to have our partners disapprove of us and hide these sexual/freaky Deaky desires without expressing them. So my question is why is it the women’s responsibility to bring that out instead of the man’s?
Good question. A good sex life takes 2. Too much of this docs content and too much of the comments that follow blame women. Men have work to do too because there is an Orgasm Gap between lesbians and heterosexual women. That gap says it all, that women should not shoulder all of the responsibility for sexual fulfillment. This disproportionate responsibility placed on women is a big factor in the divorce rates.
''So my question is why is it the women’s responsibility to bring that out instead of the man’s?'' Because these are your emotions and your manifestation of yourself. I give you my nastiest side by becoming just that, being myself around you, like in any other situations.
If you treat it as responsibility or as something to ''give'' then you still think of yourself as parts that you can sell. You are still a problem.
''What it really comes down to at the end of the day, is that potential partners need to feel comfortable expressing these innermost desires about themselves to each other.''
The problem is women.
I either got vanilla sex or freaky sex. It depended on how i acted.
for 15 years i never managed to merge a gentleman and a beast in one person.
So i came to conclusion that women categorize me in those two brackets and once she makes up her mind, i cant behave one or the other, otherwise she will be put off by it.
because we lack a confidence and telling our partner what it is, that we really desire.
MILLIONS of men would love to have better sex or atleast more of it.
Keep putting blame on men.
Women want emotionally intelligent man until they get it.
@@amourelamonica8121 @amourelamonica8121 No folks, look. Women are the gatekeepers to sex. Their power lies in saying 'no.'
When a man loves a woman, he'll respect her [sexual] boundaries & may not try experimenting. It's then up to her to communicate her desires, as he has likely given up trying new things after so long.
It also depends on personality, some men may get bored & start communicating about new ideas.
Personally, i think most women may turn new ideas down. But if women are smart, & those ideas do not infringe on her boundaries (and are healthy for the relationship), she should consider pursuing.
Agreed with both of you, and much respect for having an open mind and engaging with content like this. Men certainly have work to do in this category - when I started, I was blown away by what I didn’t know. I think a lot of men don’t even realize that there are resources to improve in this area. Additionally, the man is absolutely just as responsible for making these desires and preferences known, and of course listening to his partner’s with equal enthusiasm. I don’t want to disclose too much personal information, but this is a very sensitive topic, and there needs to be a good deal of safety present in the relationship for it to happen. Yes, men need safety too! Like OP said, the conversation is way too important to never have, and neglecting this is probably a major factor in the amount of unhappy marriages that we see.
@@tarablue4472 I understand what you’re saying. But, women are indeed the gatekeepers of sex’ opportunity. And I think I can speak for a lot of men saying that it is a pretty rare occurrence that a women would come to you (a man) and asks/offers sex right away without any prior investment of any sorts. Past your 20's spring break time, we men mostly usually have to work, quite hard, to get to that point.
Whereas women know that a man showing interest would most likely jump on a sex opportunity at the first sign. Hence, the gatekeepers, hence the advice directed to women.
Also, divorce among lesbians are the highest among any groups, and by far. At an alarming 80/85% in the western world. So i guess ‘orgasms’ aren’t the definitive seller, couple’s security or the ‘happy marker’, you may assume it to be. Not to mention that the topic here is pre-couple life, during the courting phase.
Finally, even if you do not understand, or agree, with Orion’s take on men’s perspective, rest reassure, as you can judge by the feedback and popularity, that it does indeed represent quite a large cohort of men. Now, I do not understand, agree or even appreciate, all the hows and whys women behave the way they do, but I have to face reality and accept that it is what is. And conduct myself in accordance.
This is a friendly attempt at opinion’ exchanges, please no gaslighting. Wishing you the best.
Thanks
I love how you referenced at least 4 of your other videos in this one!
And communicating that the opportunity is available is different than just giving the opportunity away for"free".
As a man viewing this, I've gotta say he's 100% right. I'm in my 40's and while I might not always want sex, a partner who is engaging and expresses a full interest in me, including wanting my sex will definitely stand out in a crowd. A partner who then is so interested in me they are compelled to take it a step further and not only be a lover but a partner in my life's journey is like finding a needle in a haystack. Even if, for whatever reason, we don't work out, it's someone that will be hard to forget.
I couldn't have said it better!! I'm in my early 40's and it is hard to find a partner for life. I have to put it in God's hands and pray!! 🙏 It's not always in our time. Finding Dt. T and watching his videos has been a blessing. 😊
Wisdom in these comments. I feel your full hearts as good men, speaking truth of deep desires us men don’t always get to express - Unless its just shitty locker room talk lacking substance, or its otherwise bottled up. Well put.
I know the doctor and I would get on well... we both enjoy mid century furniture for starters.. I have two of those Barcelona chairs and a Eames Lounge chair to go with them... Good taste Doc.
My dude even give lectures to his haters 💜
😂
Wanted to give more than just a like to your comment. Hell ya, it's a rare thing to respond substantively to substantively criticism.
Yep. When you're right, you're right, there's not 3 ways about it o_0
Why bother responding, Dr. Taraban? Do you think they will ever take accountability for their actions?
If he's got a recorded response to their 2 canned criticisms? He only needs to address them once.
After that? He can just point to this link forever, because they all shop for canned arguments at the same store.
(Read: timtom's Chinese impulse buy emporium.)
Clicks
As he said, he actually wants to help those who criticize him.
Content... ... ... and _you_ are the target.
He's not "bothering", he's working and earning. DUH.
Never underestimate discourse and debate.... The comment directly below yours is an exact reason why.
As a guy who's never casually slept with women, and only done serious committed long-term relationships, here is the best advice I can give you ladies if a real relationship is what you're looking for -
* Keep your body count low - do not sleep around. Your Vag has a lot of value; do not give it away to men you are not in a committed relationship with.
* Do not date lots of men at the same time even if you're avoiding sex - this is a red flag to men and just looks bad.
* Do not maintain relationships with your exes. Most men will not tolerate this kind of nonsense if they have even the slightest semblance of self-respect.
* Make sure the guy knows you're interested. Don't play mind games - to borrow something Orion said in a previous vid - you want to keep the fun to hassle ratio high. Be a good woman, date quality men and you'll be fine.
* Be fit, feminine, and friendly. If you're a pain in the rear end to deal with then quality guys won't deal with you.
"basically" 😂😂😂
@@GrnXnham hah thanks, that was poorly worded. I fixed. Thanks for pointing it out.
Your list is good. A low body count and absence of orbiters goes a long way. But in reality the entire effort boils down to being "fit, feminine, and friendly". Period. My own advice to my daughter is "be nice, don't get fat". Not much else is needed.
And if you don't like this advice and wish you could do all of those things and still get the high-value man you want, well I have bad news, you will have to learn the hard way that your wishes are not always fulfilled no matter how entitled to them you feel you are.
Your words are wisdom and thank you for not using women you have no commitment too. All you said was truth.
Once, I went to dinner with some colleagues from work. On the way to the restaurant, another guy was driving, and three girls were in the back seat. The girls were talking about one of the girls' upcoming wedding. I distinctly remember the bride-to-be saying something to the effect of, “I can't wait to be married and live together when sex isn’t so important.” It was a jaw-dropping moment. I looked at the other guy driving, and he looked at me in disbelief. At this point, I just had to interject. I said, “You really should be honest with your fiancé, tell him how you feel, and let him know that sex is not important to you.” The response from the three was, “It's all about the wedding dress, don't you know? They were serious.
I feel eternally blessed that I'm married to a Caribbean Latina girl. If anybody has a headache or wants to take a break from amorous activities, it's me! When my wife hears stories like this, she looks at me and says, “What's the problem with these gringas?”
Holy.. wow.. I feel sorry for the poor fellas who are in relationships with these women. Sex with your lover and partner isn't important, but a wedding dress is the epitome of importance? Their priorities are all wrong. Wow.. as a woman, I sincerely apologise for some of these women's actions, thoughts, and feelings. It is all wrong. A dress is just a dress, sex and intimacy with your partner are deeper, more connected, loving and so much more important than any object, dress included, will ever be. Things are so wrong in this world when these women think and feel this way. An object will never, ever be as important as intimate time spent with your lover and partner.
Lots of people, both men and women, probably shouldn’t be in relationships at all. That goes double for marriage.
If a woman doesn’t actually enjoy hanging sex (whether in general or with the specific partner in question) then she shouldn’t marry the guy, unless he’s on the same sexual wavelength (which is rare but not impossible).
Just like a man who isn’t actually all that interested in being a provider and all that probably shouldn’t get married either.
This is probably most people.
Doc, That protracted syllable @4:46 is quite impressive! And keep up the good work. Greetings from Southern California.
Bro that "LOOONNNGGGGG" shit killed me 🤣 I'm at work laughing way too hard
Right?! I was so weak at that. What makes it even funnier is that that statement is SO SO true. For a young, inexperienced woman, the gap between what they’ve done and the most they can do is so wide. You can experience/try so many different things without actually letting a man inside you that are pleasurable for both of you. If it doesn’t work out with Tom and y’all just did toe stuff then try ear stuff with Bradley.
@@nivh hahahahaha
I don’t think he’s stopped yet.😱
Some people say he’s still saying looooooooooooooooong
@@nivh Let him cook
I really just understood the first point you made as being intimate with guys who have committed (either via marriage or another binding means)
This explanation clears stuff up by explaining that intimacy is very relative and will depend on the people in question
Women are not mad at the advice, i.e. the way to a man's heart is through his trousers. Women are just angry that you are revealing their grift. Women are just angry that you are revealing their true strategy because it reduces their leverage and power. They have been rumbled and exposed.
Yup. I dated a w0man in 2013 who's motto was: keep his sack empty, and his belly full.
His strategy isn't just about sex. The most important thing is not disrespecting the man you want to be in a relationship with.
Wimmin figure out early on that I've long seen through their grift, and I'm therefore immune to their games and tactics. They really, really don't like it, so they go after an easier mark.
@@Alexxx492desire and respect are directly related, almost indistinguishable, for a woman. If she "respects" you but doesn't desire you, she doesn't respect you at all. Random one night stand? Desired and respected. Repeatedly.
@@systemshock869 lots of women will run their mouths at men they want a relationship with. Furthermore complaining all the time, even if it isn't about the man isn't very attractive.
After you've gotten to know him a couple months and still think you want to have a relationship with him and you take time in getting to know him sexually as well because bedroom tastes can vary widely and can make one change their mind about wanting that relationship. Once these two have been decided then your advice is spot on.
It's the nature of women
“A woman quickly gives herself to the one who she doesn't love and resists the one she loves, because to the loved one she wants to seem good, and with the unloved she isn't ashamed to seem bad.”
--John F Kennedy
I guess that's how he pulled marilyn monroe
the quote kind of doesn't make sense
very well said.
A woman who lacks self-respect may easily give herself to someone she doesn’t care about, while holding back from the one she truly cares for. This hesitation comes from a desire to protect her emotions and appear ideal to the one she loves. Paradoxically, sex can sometimes feel freer and more uninhibited when she doesn’t care. Yet, the most profound and fulfilling intimacy occurs when she deeply desires and genuinely wants a man.And a man can always sense when a woman has genuine attraction and deep desire for him. It’s an energy that’s almost impossible to disguise, no matter how much one might try.
I noticed this about myself non-sexually when I was about 24 and decided to take a couple years off to really sort myself out. I always thought it was just a me thing, so it's interesting to hear JFK opine that this happens on other levels (and ... he knew).
Actually gave USEFUL
insight on how to
interpret cues from
different women
This advice definitely works. I left my wife after 20+ years of marriage because I just got tired of disrespect, lack of sex, and being taken advantage of. The girl I just stared at relationship is incredible in bed, respects me, and is helpful.
Maintain masculine frame and remove your attention when you see negative behavior.
the mistake many men make is letting themselves be mistreated cause of fear of loneliness. if you are ready to rather be alone than to accept poor behavior right from the jump, the trash will take itself out very quickly, such that you are either left with a good situation, or you know that you arent missing out on anything worth having.
be careful though, her being good in bed to me is a red flag, cause while she might be attracted to you now, how many men did she have sex with to be comfortable with this much sexual expression? that would atleast be my immeadiate thought
For now…
@@my_callExactly. That's the honeymoon phase he's talking about with the new girl, it'll pass
@@zusk8556and if it passes then onto the next one
I fully appreciate this advice. Thanks Dr ❤
Being willing to do what your competition won't could also include "not sleeping with anyone until you are married" if you're attractive and still a virgin i think a lot of high value men will appreciate you because you have shown self-control and even if the sex in marriage is relatively mundane it is ALL his and his alone.
Excellent ! Keeping your body count low and even waiting until marriage Is a meaningful strategy. A rare one nowadays, so you stand out. Additional advice : if you're a Virgin, be open to learn, and try New and New, hotter and hotter things with your husband. Give him amazing sex ! Give him his REWARD, his PRIZE ! 🎉😂
But how will a couple know if they’re sexually compatible if one of them doesn’t have experience ?
@@miahconnell23 the best solution is for both to be virgins, your dog loves his dog food, he eats it everyday. He isn't aware that its dogfood because this is the only food he knows.
If both of you are sexually inexperienced your aren't aware its "bad sex" this is the only sex you know and you'll happily eat your dog food everyday
@@PSAqi6kh 🤔 Seems like you & I don’t disagree, TBH. I just want men (and women) to know that you can find a partner whose needs and preferences can be very similar to your own. It’s possible.
Members of the same species and opposite sex are compatible by default.@@miahconnell23
Thank you I have been a fan of your insights since you started your channel. Happy to see it grow you deserve it and more.
You have stated nothing but Actual Facts! The women criticizing this truth, are the one who believe that everything is ONLY about them...ladies get over yourself and listen to the real crap that your mom will never tell you
Ladies, if you won't take it from doc, take it from my personal experience:
The love of my life was a girl who just wanted to have sex as much as we could, as often as we could, and made conscious and noticeable efforts to make sure I was happy. It didn't work out because she had to go across the country for med school. I was upset for a long time after it ended, but I'm coming to terms with it now-- despite some differences, she was the best partner I ever had, and I hope my next partner is as enthusiastic and caring as she was.
JUST GIVE IT UP TO YOUR MAN, IF YOU WANT TO KEEP HIM. IT'S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE. HE'LL GO TO HELL AND BACK FOR YOU IN RETURN, I GUARANTEE IT.
But they want to keep their man WITHOUT sex bc they might not want sex to that degree in the future and if they give it up easily it'll be expected easily in the future so they have no power. They don't want to keep you, they want to conquer you and make you their subject for as long as you're useful.
Careful with "shes the best partner i ever had". I made same mistake. Your dopamine history bank will lie to you.
To hell and back but not across the country with her to med school? Hmmm
@@ssykes7🧐
@@ssykes7 distance sucks dude it doesn't need to ne romanticized
Brian you are literally doing Gods work. Thank you .
Orion
For those who might be offended in the first minute, he gets to the point by minute 5.
You don't have to go 0-100, but you do need to ramp-upward away from 0 as time goes on and you're looking for a relationship.
I think most women know this. Unless there's a generational gap here.
I personally like to take it slow and steady, slow and steady. Ramping up closer and closer to 100 OVER TIME. Not all men like to take their time and I've met quite a few men, low value men who want a fast woman, and that's not me. I have a hard time telling a LOT of men, not all but a LOT, that sex is not out of the question but I need to gradually get there with INCREMENTAL steps of sensuality. This is EXACTLY along the lines of what Dr. Taraban was getting at when he said "LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time".
So there is a challenge for us women in dating, we ramp upwards from 0-100 but many, many stupid men want instant gratification. They then don't understand why they get dumped.
I can't tell you how many men I've had to get rid of because he couldn't understand that taking things slow and steady is the best way to stoke her sex drive.
@@tarablue4472 Most men don't mind waiting for sex if they like the woman. A man will even be happy to wait until marriage if the woman is a virgin.
What men simply cannot accept is a woman making him wait for sex if she had in one night stands or casual sex in her past. That is disgusting to most men.
Any man that has ever lost a girl that they really liked knows that it isn’t necessarily the girl that was the prettiest or had the nicest body. Losing the one that was the nasty lil mf hurts the most
I wish I could agree but I cannot. The nastiest, sluttiest women I have been with have all shown very early that they are also completely lacking in long-term relationship skills and values. More specifically, they were all 🦇💩 crazy, wanting me to do things to them that would put me greatly at risk.
Only Dr. Orion, who has built his reputation via personal experience, getting a Ph.D., and created a massive following, has the most credibility to give out this well spoken advice
I don’t know if a logical response to an emotional reaction is going to change the feelings involved here, Dr. Taraban. If it could, this wouldn’t be the piece of advice that women object to. You explained it very reasonably in several earlier videos.
If you have a way to explain it and have it make emotional sense, rather than using pure logic, I would try that.
Agreed, as men we fully understand and respond to logic. Women mostly don't. I tried this for 10 years being married and finally gave up and divorced her so that I wouldn't go insane with the lack of logic on her end. Like almost all other women around her.
because this is not a response to the ladies.. but a PSA for everyone else to understand their thought patterns
To say that is to misunderstand his entire message and probably even the entire situation.
First, he is addressing a small portion of his female audience. This means most women are catching up to the changes in the game and are interested to varying degrees in becoming more reciprocal partners, which is actually awesome and gives out an optimistic view of the landscape.
The women he is addressing, are those that are having trouble with the process of integrating awareness of their and men's underlying value structures (aka animalistic instincts) and how they interact with drastic changes society is going through.
If he has proof that there are good faith women learning and integrating these truths successfully, it's only fair that he attempts to help those women having trouble with it.
So, instead of being a cynical imbecile, Orion sees that just as many men haven't adapted to the changes, many women are experiencing enough trouble in their lives that is moving them towards this type of content, which means the whole problem right now comes down to: how can you help everyone adapt?
Things are changing in the red pill landscape dude. I get that it has been really hard to articulate the issue and the solutions, which justifies why most of the things men were saying came out as criticism towards women, but now that we have figures like Taraban, the time to move on from that is coming and the more women catch up with these truths, the more important it becomes to help them play the game fairly.
Taraban himself said it at the very beginning, the goal of this channel is to navigate these topics WITHOUT alienating women. You have to extend your hand to them because that's how we figure the whole thing out.
@@v8superspecial He did use the term "nastiest, sluttiest" a lot without an attempt at a more palatable preamble. The first half of the video involves a "sh!t test" at least.
This is exactly what I was about to mention. Orion makes perfect sense with this point, but that isn't enough. They'll get emotional anyway
On the face of it, your analysis that a woman must be useful to a man's life is correct.
Unfortunately what most women get from that is "I should ACT useful until I get what I want"
If you are a man that is currently in a relationship with a woman and you are wondering how overnight... "she suddenly changed".
Brother, she didn't change... she just got tired of acting.
Worse... she did her 10 years and now she doesn't NEED to act any more.
Say hello to the State Family Court System.
Why a woman should be "useful" for a man?
Oh so very true!
No, she didn't get tired of "acting". The fact is that too many men NEGLECT her sexual needs. She is also saddled with a disproportionate amount of the domestics which fatigues her. Fatigue is the number one libido killer for women. Over time her libido drops but not for the reasons you stated but because her sexual needs are unmet and she is fatigued.
@@rgj8044 Not true. Read my other reply.
And on the other side: men can often STOP doing any REAL EFFORT after they've gotten the gf/wife. Like it's "not fair" that a woman expects him to contiue to make any effort--just like men DO seem to expect continued effort. In recent years, there seems to be a lot more ZER EFFORT men around. How about BOTH women & men GIVE IT OUR BEST?!
Thank you! I am 71, have been married 3 times, and have had enough pain trying to make relationships work and picking the wrong person! I can use all of the advice I can get.
I am just starting a new one and you have given me many ideas on how to handle things this time.
May I just add that this is good advice under the premise that woman generally has a "dating goal" of coupling up with someone. I wonder why we always take this as a given. We have a sexuality even if we don't want a committed relationship
Dr. Taraban, your advice is great.
My thought? It’s *too* logical. As a fellow fan of rational, pragmatic approaches to things, this pains me to say.
Women don’t want to think or be logical about this. I recently had a woman tell me she feels cornered by my logicality, that she dislikes hypocrisies being pointed out and criticized. This is a professional woman who has also demonstrated her intelligence personally. I thanked her for her candor, and realized: women truly don’t want to think, don’t want to reason. They want to feel. They experience it as offensive that logic should be applied to how they manage their sexuality, rather than pure heat of the moment.
As such, while I applaud your efforts, I don’t think any amount of reasonableness will get through to a woman who rejects reason itself.
I entirely understand what you’re saying, and agree & sympathise with your experience. Which I share. But as well, I believe that communicating and being honest, truthful and factual is never a lost cause. As such, I thank you for giving me the opportunity to be optimistic and candid myself on this subject for once.
If I may, I found in my experience, over 2 decades of marriage so far, that you are partly right, in the sense that you cannot just bring hard cold logicality-causality of human behaviour (to women especially, if I may risk the mention) at just about any time and at any place. But instead, there has to be some emotions, temporality and setting attached to it indeed. As your comment should intuitively points out. One must find the right time and mood, spirit and disposition to discuss and patiently unthread the strings of our complex lives with his partner. And still, most likely than not, one has to wait a certain time for the message to be absorbed and eventually agreed upon by the receiver. So... easier said than done I concede. Just the rambling of an internet random Georges... o_0
@ I agree. I’m still learning, it seems that it might be possible to communicate rationality to women if you engage their emotions first. But I’ll need more experience before I make up my mind
Kudos to you on the “lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng distance” performance. You are the mvp, lol
Don't worry about them, they're haters and hate on everything no matter what.
Thank you for another excellent video Dr. Orion 👍👍
Dr Taraban hands out sound advice. There will always be someone(s) who object, but as he said it's a small percentage of his viewers.
He’s got a valid point when it comes to staying attached to the man. I had to drop both my ex girlfriends when they became arrogant or disrespectful when it comes to my time and money. They thought I would stay with them because they offered some sexual provisions and they were pretty.
Ok i get your well articulated point. The problem is that relationships are a moving target just like hunting or fishing or gardening. You will never have solid relationships with anyone if you constantly frame the beginning goal as the end goal. Being your nasty self with someone in order to open up the door in some ways is the same as overly trying to impress someone with love bombing when you know you cannot sustain it. You want to get the attention with someone then be yourself and the attention will come if its a real connection. Think about dude, getting someone on the hook with bait never lasts. Sooner or later your life will be about the bait. When someone really is into you no bait is necessary.
Good point. I didn't see the video that this video refers too but I do find that he articulates in a round about way and that may get him misunderstood.
It's bad strategy to act our "nastiest" prematurely, that's baiting like you said and it's not sustainable. Make sure the guy is the one for us and that he's into us before signalling that we're ready to take it to the next level. I think the doc would agree but he didn't articulate it well.
The bait is just part of it but not enough. Make yourself useful and don’t disrespect man. High value man will not commit and waste time giving you what you want before you show class and value.
I sense some disrespect for the Doc. It’s unnecessary to call him a DUDE. Probably he is much more than you ever be in every aspect of life.
Thanks Jesus
The expanded multi measure whole note - was impactful 😊
Doc explains it perfectly…..
Women : REEEEEE!
Based
Keep it up Doc. You’re having a positive effect.
Growing up I used to hear all the time the phrase find a woman who’’ es una dama en la calle una pura en la cama”.
This clarification was so needed!
Because women tend to hate the men that commit to them. In their subconscious they view the man that commits as lesser than the one that doesn't. It doesn't matter that it isn't true what matter is they do not acknowledge the less flattering parts of their subconscious and let it run amok filling in the blanks. Its like the old adage if you think someone is a thief then they are, and if you think the same person isn't a thief then they aren't.
it hate to say but it’s true… makes me kinda depressed
That hits hard brother. 🤜
It seems women want a submissive alpha male. So they are in an never ending inner battle with themselves. From one side they want a docile, committed man, and in the same time they crave a dangerous leader aka *Real Man*™
“I wouldn’t be a member of a club that would have me” Groucho Marx
Plus, FOMO aka The Husband Store aka innate hypergamy aka 'settling'
I'm nominating Dr. Taraban for the Nobel Peace Prize and the Presidential Medal of Freedom! God bless the good Doctor on Good Friday!
Nobel Pussy Prize?
Please @Orion, continue what you are doing, it is so helpful to so many. Don't allow others to push you on the defensive. You don't owe any explanations to those who do not try to understand. Avoid defensive videos like these, please. You are giving your critics more than they deserve, to your own detriment.
Dr. Taliban they probably just read your name and judged a book by the cover. Keep up the good work! Haters gonna hate.
He doesn't have a recognizable name so what you talking about.
Yeah I wouldn't expect anyone to know about the Taliban, or news, or history, or facts@@tarablue4472
can we have advice for male friendship?
and your advice for finding friends was so good man ❤❤❤
@@beowulf_of_wall_st but im a guy
I was referring to male friendship
I have had female friends, and know a little bit about it, from the male side...
And I know that I have had to consciously relate very differently, because I have felt sexual attraction for all of them 😎....
Male friendships are possible, and beneficial, providing he has - preferably both sex - 'integrated their sexuality'. He needs to have this for his own protection, in a friendship situation, because he needs to be capable of navigating the highly likely eventuality of sexual attraction arising for said female friend. He needs this for his own protection, because without a degree of skill in this domain for himself, he will more than likely pursue relationship with said female friend, not for friendship, but for sex. This is a deceitful strategy, which seems innocuous at first, but means, ultimately, that there was no friendship to begin with - he was only interested in sex, it was all a ruse...Even to himself...
Human relationships are complicated, and one can relate in many ways, but if the goal is friendship, then he needs to be aware of his own desire for sexual expression - it is much easier for 'older' gentlemen, who have matured past their sexual prime (even if they still have a high sex drive) to have more beneficial friendships with women, simply because they're not as likely to be fooled by their desires for sex - it does not overwhelm their addled brains like it did when they were 18, or even 30 years old...
There is also 'a degree of distance', that any lady needs to show and express with male friends - the desire for emotional connection must be 'lowered'. Not necessarily given up, but 'taken down a notch': men will get confused the more emotional content is 'flowing between the two'. This is usually reserved for intimate partners, therapists, and family (if the family members are mature enough to deal with it). They will be confused, because the more emotional content within the relationship will 'trigger arousal' and may incite desire in the man.
So, briefly, if the desire is to establish a strong emotional connection with another man (is this why friendship is desired? Strong emotional content, support, 'flow of intimate details', without sex?), then definitely reconsider 'friendship' with another man. Establish strong emotional connections with other people who can handle it - other women, therapists, family members, and perhaps older gentleman who have 'been around the block', etc...
By all means, explore and test.
Just be very discerning and learn from experience. Things can get real weird, real fast when you try 'to be friends' but have sexual tension literally busting out your nut sack for the other person - I have had to communicate very directly (I was scared as hell, and was received well) about it all, and have to navigate differently to live truth, and not a lie.
Found your channel yesterday you’re absolutely right and realistic! THANK YOU for not watering things down or just telling people what they want to hear like most of these red pill stupid brainwashed ideologies. 🙏🙏
My perspective on this is that respect and desire are directly related for a woman. If she "respects" you but does not desire you (think sexless marriage where she pretends nothing is wrong but her own low sex drive), you are actually not respected at all and are being used as a meal ticket/ status quo/ puppy dog/ emotional tampon/ tree branch, etc.
If she desires you, as you have said in one of your other videos, she will do anything for you because she actually respects you. Most men aren't going to believe this until they witness it for themselves. Believe me, I was (am) as beta "best friend" nice guy as they come. Seeing the other side of the duality of woman opened my eyes so hard I will never go back. If she's not displaying active desire for you, you are being used. Full stop.
The sickening part of the whole thing is when you realize that pretty much all women desire and respect *someone* - to your point about she has to be her "nastiest, sluttiest version of herself" for someone. If you're not getting that, she doesn't respect or desire you. End of story. And how many guys before you has the "love of your life" respected and desired on orders of magnitude more than she respects or desires you? And how many of those guys were random fucking strangers?
Time to unplug fellas.
Why waste a video to respond . I appreciate your wisdom and knowledge. Continue to do the good work 👍🏼
I know it's not popular to say it. However I'm of the belief that sleeping around and having non-comitted sex is actually damaging to a woman. The only ones benefitting from it are predatory men. We call them pick-up artists.
He never once argued for that.
I have found this channel to be very insightful, but I knew from the get-go that it would get a lot of flak because of the to-the-point nature of the videos. Our culture has a real problem with people that are direct. People are overly focused on how they’re made to feel rather than the ideas being offered. I’m glad to hear that most of the reception has been positive.
9:06 but from this interaction, a woman can not tell the difference between a narcissist man who only engages in short term mating and a man who just needed some convincing. And unlike men who can have a hundred mating partners and experience little/no emotional harm, women DO get hurt from feeling used or unwanted after a sexual encounter. Your stategy has the potential to cause many heartaches for women with little change to the status quo for men.
You are quite right. But 1, I trust you haven't, or shouldn't, meet a hundred men that you feel strongly are The one, that you deploy the mentioned strategy. Or the problem lies somewhere else. And 2, the thing is, finding a, or 'The', partner of your life will always be a tricky-never-entirely-foreseeable gambit anyway, no matter how you go about it. And for both parties. Still, there are strategies that leads to higher success than others. I think that's the point here. But I hear you. Just try and understand it is also a gambit for men, we're not having it any easier. You best believe. Wishing you the very best. Cheers
I've listened to quite a few episodes of PsycHacks, and the logic reason, and... psychology behind why people do the things they do, in the way they do them, and the reasons behind those actions, are not only fascinating to dissect, but also so incredibly spot on. And I think the only reason somebody would ever be upset with this content, is because they either have the inability to understand a "different" perspective, due to what I would probably classify as a lack of emotional intelligence, or they; in another way of saying it, straight up just don't like hearing the truth.
One thing Dr. Taraban didn’t seem to explicitly point out in his analogy, although it may have been implied, is that we can’t just go above and beyond in any fashion. We have to research and inquire about the very specific ways we can demonstrate our suitability for the job and behave accordingly.
With regard to women towards men it isn’t enough to simply prove useful. Women must take steps to find out exactly what the man wants in or out of the potential relationship. It’s how some “red pillers” might say: She has to be able and willing to get on HIS program!
The main thing most men want is a woman who doesn't complain, control or nag. If you don't treat him poorly, maybe do the dishes or laundry once in a while and provide him with good sex, most men are happy 😊
Us men really *are* simple creatures. Invite him over at least one weeknight per week for a home prepared meal. Invest in good lingerie. *Ask him* about his life - is he traveling? Offer to drive him to the airport, and pick him up. Sneak something intimate into his luggage, and call him that first night to discuss it. Etc.
What the man whants? Obviously: sex and peace of mind.
Beautiful analogies, good sir.
If I could write him a Million dollar check, I would. On the same note, all the invaluable advice given, I somehow already knew. Would have saved soo much money, time and effort. Orion is the man, thanks!!
Life is a delicate flower - you have to plant the seed and take care of it before it can blossom into something beautiful, even then you have to take care of it as it can be crushed to easily
I remember you saying the words plant the seed, I invented this nearly 3 years ago, there is a photo of several tiny flowers on my desk at work to remind me of this, also has a feather given to me from my love that we were apart for 29 of the 30 years I knew her.
I think we are very much alike - intelligent, well educated and extremely analytic, we analyze everything upside down and backwards. I encourage you to consider something I tell myself everyday
Forget what happened before, forget what is happening now. Do not underestimate the power of positive thinking and suggestion. You have to believe you can do it before you can do it. There is no substitute for being inventive, resourceful, and downright clever.
Ask yourself are these the words of a loving father before you speak. Do not seek external validation - strength comes from within. Happiness is a decision and comes from within. Only you can find this person inside you screaming to come out because inside is where you will find the motivation to transform your life into something incredible and that is what I think life is all about.
I think your biggest problem with this is word choice. “Nasty” and “slutty” are generally used as pejoratives, right up there with “skank” and “whore.” You clarified that there is a very great range with regard to the behavior you are espousing, so why not just say “most sensual and passionate version of yourself“?
Because this is vague, euphemistic nonsense. How about we just say what we mean instead of wrapping it up to generate more confusion? What the hell does that even really what you wrote? How is anyone going to figure out what that means?
@@masterTigress96People with even a modest command of the English language would understand what the words passionate and sensual imply.
@@LisaCulton No, the commenter said they had a problem with Orions clear, to the point and understandable language, only to then offer a more vague and less clear replacement. People with even a modest command of the English language would understand what I meant when I pointed this out.
And at the core of it this isn't a problem with the linguistics, it is a problem with emotions.
Love your content, Orion! I do agree with much of your insightful messages, even as a woman!! I've noticed a little short-sightedness among the many comments from men, though, in that they disdain women's tendency to operate less from an analytical stand-point and more from the realm of emotionality. Both genders, in my humble subjective, could improve significantly by attempting to view relationships through the others' gender lenses. What seems like "common sense" to a man or a woman should not be a given. We are not the same! It is understandably not an easy pill to swallow to understand and accept that men view women as a pretty sex object and women view men as a meal ticket.
That’s a valid point. Men do need to understand the differences just like we expect women to understand them.
We expect a women to make the “smart” decision and pick the safer man, who does nothing for her emotionally. But the bad boy that drives her emotions, we expect her to leave him alone. 😂. That’s because we believe women should be more analytical…..until they are. Then We say they’re being too masculine. 😂😂.
I think that the fallacy in the Dr.'s argument is that having "slutty sex" is going to change a man's feelings toward a woman. A man will feel a certain way about a woman, and that won't change with sex. It will just offer him temporary relief from his desires, and not much more. It is not going to suddenly make a man highly attracted to a woman. Even if a woman were lousy in bed, that wouldn't prevent a man from loving her deeply. Coversely, regarless of how good a woman is in bed, that won't buy love. If a woman thinks that it will, then she's likely to end up feeling used.
This guy uses the word "marketplace", that should be enough to keep people away...
@@completelymindfucked That is kind of a curious statement. What I suspect is that when people get involved with intimate relationships, they don't conciously think of the transactional nature what occurs. We, usually gain something from releationships, and particularly from romantic relationships. If there is no gain in a relationship, there is less incentive to have that relationship. One of the things that I used to see in the personal ads, placed by women, was a refernce to finances. They would put something like: "must be financially secure." Almost all of the ads from femalss had that kind of line in it. The ad from men, almost never had a reference to finances. You can see right there that the women were interested in the financial gain aspect of a relationship. this makes sense as women, were for thousands of years, dependent on security from a man (cavemen had no 911 or police.) So, they needed the biggest strongest male to protect them and create and protect offspring. The modern itterations of that is women looking at money as security. This should come as no surprise. Very young women won't display this "characteristic" when looking for a boyfriend, but they very quickly learn to look at money. So, I don't think that the Dr. is wrong on this, I just think that women (in particular) don't like to be reminded of the transactional nature of their behavior. Men do transactional stuff too, but it frequently involves sex, as a high priority.
> A man will feel a certain way about a woman, and that won't change with sex
It definitely will - but not in the way you thought.
If a boyfriend or husband found out that his partner had one night stands and casual sex with some men but made him wait weeks/months for sex then he will likely start looking at her with disgust. The relationship would probably end shortly after.
@@cyrusp100 You took a quote from me, and that was this: "... A man will feel a certain way about a woman and that won't change with sex... " It has nothing to do with the statement that I said. What you're proposing is an entirely different situation. You're adding in a third person.
The issue is that many people think that sex is a commodity to be traded and they are not interested in sex, only a relationship, or taking away time money energy and attention. The whole concept of taking a wild beast and taming them that and public image who wants that image
Dr Taraban, thanks to you I have been the slutiest version of myself in the bedroom with my BF and let me tell you how much happier both of us have been. Your analysis and advice on relationships are all spot on! 👍🏻
🔥
Thank you for clarifying info and for caring a lot about the viewers and their responses!!! 🤗😊 It means a lot to me!!
I think an important distinction is between being the "nastiest" in intimate moments vs being "nastiest" in conversation and social engagements. It's good marriage advice that partners have no inhibitions between them - you should explore sex more deeply with your spouse than with any previous partners. (Not long ago, it would have been the ideal that your spouse is the *only* person you ever have sex with - and the Buddhist and Christian thinkers that Orion sometimes cites in other contexts would agree.) But that doesn't mean a man wants to marry a woman who talks salaciously or dresses provocatively when they're together in public. Put that way, I think most women would agree with Orion's advice. Explore sex freely, boldly, and confidently with the man you love - but don't embarrass him by acting like a skank when you're out together.
He advocates for hook up culture
@@susanhaines7358 I think he just came to terms with it.
@@roses6564 Exactly. He's addressing the world as it is, not as one might wish it to be.
Great video with an excellent explanation of that dynamic.
Maybe it sounds crass, but logic is logic. You broke it down perfectly. It's really no different than saying a man should be the KINDEST, most PROTECTIVE, and most GENEROUS version of himself to the woman with whom he wants to be in a relationship. If either assertion offends you, maybe you should stay single.
Why is all of men’s traits based in having good character and women’s based only on sex?
that seems like common sense, but then you have to confront that women have a burning hatred for men that are kind, protective, and generous.
I think you are a little delusional if you think that this is currently a 50/50 issue.
@divababy4463 kindness, generosity, and loyalty ARE good character... Inside and outside the bedroom.
@@shaolinotter some women. True. Sad...
@@divababy4463 funny that you ask this when you have another comment on this channel saying “only a small percentage of men have resources so women have to make sacrifices”. Your statement explains why not much emphasis is placed on women’s character.
I think you are right on!
Ladies' feedback and criticism not being substantive???? I'm shocked. SHOCKED! Well, not that shocked.
These are not ladies. They are angry and bitter women.
Yeah.... Dr. Taraban not applying his own 'lesson': you can't argue logically and reasonably with a disgruntled/offended/hurt/feminist woman! LOL
@@ibubezi7685 Can you argue logically with a disgruntled/offended/hurt macho? No!
@@perieven6357 the disgruntled/offended/hurt macho doesnt get a free house for destroying his children, to be fair
Hey, I think I didn't listen carefully, is that possible? He didn't say that ladies' feedback is not substantive, he said that much of the feedback was not substantive (you know, the usual hateful comments without nuance, depth or constructive arguments).
This lighting makes your skin glow like an orange spray tan. 🏖️🐚⛱️
Great content as always!
Where you went wrong was... " The man she WANTS to have a relationship with" instead of "the man that she's in a relationship with" .... That's a HUGE difference. And women with class would never do the first but always do the second 😉
I think this might be good advice for this "market place" concept he's talking about. To me it sounds like stategy for a video game but not actual physical reality.
There wasn't a single mention of the wisdom of listening to your body. I'd suggest including intuition and somatics in decisions around sexuality and relationships over something conceptual some guy on the internet said. No mention either of a womans desires changing with rhe stages of her cycle.
Talking therapy isn't going to fix endometriosis, period pains or IBS etc if you disconnect from your body.
Part of the problem is word choice. “Nastiest, sluttiest” would you choose ”most shameful, most disgusting, dirtiest, sinful, whorish?” No. Perhaps if you said “sexiest, shameless, uninhibited, responsive, physically loving, demonstrative, enthusiastic, aim for the moon, do it all” You are talking about sex as dirty. That belongs to the nineteenth century. ( I’m a psychologist too) also…you entire approach is, yes, utilitarian. When I say entire it’s because you do omit words such as compassionate, fun living, daring, empathetic, which add depth of caring. You may be in favor of these things but I heard no mention of them in your remarks.
Orion is a lot of things but dumb isn’t one of them. I think he chose those words specifically because they’re spicy and to get people talking about him.
Thanks. Even at an advanced age, this is very good advice for the ladies i encounter. For example, although I know that my current woman has been around the block (or several), she still insists on my 'commitment' before action. In her dreams.
women of every age are on tiktok now, encouraging each other to be the worst version of themselves
Spot on. It's just common sense, really.
I'm at 3:11 in the video and I want to hazard a guess that most women who don't like the idea to be the most sexually active and enthusiastic with a long term partner/prospect are those who form relationships with men they don't really find attractive, like gold diggers or ones who have casual sex with very attractive men but can't hold them down for LTRs. These women would of course be annoyed by the idea that they should be the most enthusiastic with subpar men, from their point of view.
This episode took me back to the temple at the top of a mountain 🏔️ by Chiang Mai, Thailand 🇹🇭 where the monks in orange 🍊 robes would be chanting and humming for hours on end 🙏
I think, while you often talk about "high value men", you never talk about those "low value men" and their perspective. "Low value" often only means not being a certain height or income.
And they are the majority.
And in the end, the majority of women will need to settle with them. Maybe there are even some women, that are actually after something else then just income.
Here is another point you never say: Many men also WANT to have a family. They want to commit. They aren't tricked into it, but want it. And some have a hard time finding a women. So the problem for most women is less how to secure a "high value man", but how to find happiness with a nice guy, that in your metrics is only "low value".
You're right that he goes on about high value man when most men are mid value at best. My advice to these men is to have something in the bedroom to offer. Be seductive and be a really good lover, don't be selfish. Know that it isn't just men who want sex. Make sex as effortless as possible for her, don't place demands on her. Give her lots of foreplay, make sex really fun for her and you've got one up on Chad.
as an arab the condition is not that difficult or complicated for men to have comitment towards their pasrtners or for women to be usefull and try hard to stay in the house as you expressed
but a good video to know how it works in "competitive industries and other markets" and i wish there is someone who presents such content that suits my culture and market as some of your stratigies and advices will just ruin the whole thing if applied as it is here
This has nothing to do with religion or culture but a normal relationship between man and a woman
He's dropping game that mothers (and fathers) used to drop to their sons and daughters...Especially, the one about holding hands..Think of it as 10 steps...People jump straight over steps 1-9 - You can do and express ALOT on those first few steps...Hand holding was one of them....