@@hudsondareal5431 "I never wanted to big up any drugs, because I don't reckon they deserve it. It's just something that you choose to do. I probably come across as, like, 'Yeah, acid and weed are amazing.' But I don't think that at all, really. And if I did, I wouldn't want to say it in an interview. Plus, I'm never under the influence of drugs when I make music. Whenever I have been, it's always been totally rubbish. It's a real disciplined thing, making music. When you're tripping, you're just fucked. You could never get it together to make a track. When I'm stoned, I go to bed." google some interviews
I feel like this song is truly neutral as far as emotional presentation. Not to say it is lacking but that it rides that fine line between joyous and sadness that the listeners interpretation is the deciding factor. There is nothing contrived about this piece of music, it merely brings out what lives inside of us.
almost every minor chord in this piece have a "major" note in the right hand, so someone prefer to hear the happy note, and someone hear the sad/deep minor. so the individuals pespective is what pushes it either way
R.I.P. my dear friend Brandon Scarborough. A true Aphex obsessive (as well as me of course) I wish you had lived to hear this album. Especially this track
He has heard it mate, every time you listen to it you're friend can hear it through you, through you're memories. May you're friend rest in peace and you find joy in this song 🙏❤️
Started crushing on a girl named Anastasia, came back to this song and finally figured out that aisatsana is just anastasia backwards... Thank you for your such a beautiful track, Richard.
Probably nobody will ever read this but I am so overcome by guilt and grief that I need to put into words how I feel. A year ago I moved back into my dad's house during a period of my life where I had been really low for a while. And my first friend was this stray cat named Pickle. Literally, he was already inside the house and he ran right up to me and started rubbing up on my legs and demanding attention. He was always like that, sweet and friendly, but also demanding and it was hilarious. Over the course of this year I got to know my little buddy so much better, spent hours just laying with him, petting him, and spending time. It was routine that when I'd get home, Pickle would be there yelling at me to let him in, and sometimes I would, sometimes we couldn't, but I always tried to put food and water out for him, and we got him a little kennel too and insulated it, and we put it right by our door hoping he'd come to stay in there but he rarely did. He farted a lot, and they stank badly, but no matter how terrible it was it always made us laugh. And he was beautiful, orange and white cat with these blue eyes. Everytime he'd come around he'd be covered in scabs and he loved getting them scratched, it always made me so sad when he'd come by with fresh scabs or scratches, it just seemed like the poor little guy couldn't ever catch a break. He just wanted love and warmth and it just seemed like everyone and everything was so mean to him. I guess I felt kinship to the cat in that way, as stupid as it sounds. So I tried my best to keep him clean and fed and healthy. Unfortunately, this winter it seems his luck ran out. When the cold front came through Texas is right around the time he stopped coming around the house. The other stray we care for kept coming by, but even when I'd put food out for him, the only animal eating it was the pigeons. For these last two weeks I've missed him so much, and now that I know that he's really gone I miss him even more. We found him dead on the sidewalk, laying in the dirt the same way he always used to love doing. I can't even bring myself to move him because touching him while he's so cold and not feeling his warmth anymore kills me. I've been crying non stop for two hours. I feel so culpable. I wish I had just let him stay inside, I wish he stayed in his little box, I don't know how he died but I can't stand to think about how sad and scared he must have been. And I hate thinking that he left this world thinking he wasn't loved because we didn't answer the door for him when I loved him so much. I feel so empty with my little buddy gone even though I barely knew him. I never really believed in an afterlife but I can't stand thinking that he doesn't know how much I cared for him. I want to believe just to hope that he can hear me right now while I cry in anguish over him because he deserved so much better, Pickle deserved the world and I hate that I couldn't give it to him. I just want him to come back. I wish he was still here, I wish I could go out my front door right now and listen to him scream at me while he hops my fence and walks right up to my door like he owned it, just like he always did. I'd give anything to have him walking in front of and between my legs blocking my path again. I'm just so sorry he's gone. And that I didn't help as much as he deserved.
When I was preparing to go to college, my dad a year prior had gotten a puppy named Jack. All we did was sit around and hang out, and he was so, so wild. We spent so many days indoors whether it been from an ice-storm that came through, or the hot summer days where we'd hang around in the air conditioned air, we had each other, because my parents wanted a trained, expensive dog, and he was quite the opposite. We understood each other because there was a distance between his owners, and my parents, and we somehow in some universe understood the distance there was, that's why we had each other. Animals understand, and they know, they feel the love. When my dad kicked me out of the house so I could move into college, I took everything, there was no reason to go back home except for the holidays, and I really needed that dog in my life, but I couldn't take him. A few months after I was in college. I finally got to see him, and he was so wild and happy to see me, he practically jumped in my car when I pulled up and he NEVER did that. After that day, I never found the time to go and visit him, and he wasn't being watched and was let out one day where he was hit by a car, and was forced to be put down. For the longest time it hurt, and it still hurts as this was only 2 months ago. I think about it a lot, I really do, the emotions he probably felt, knowing that his big brother left him alone, and he died alone. My dad loved him enough, but he left the world without me being at his side, and that always hurt. I think the universe let's me know that he understood I couldn't be there, but that love is always there, they understand, even after death. You don't have to believe in an after-life, whether that may be heaven, or the universe or whatever, you just have to believe their love stays with you always. Cheer up man, Pickle's love will always follow your heart, all-day, everyday.
Feel your pain man. Typing it in tear's. I hope you're doing well. I really wish you to meet some cat like your lovely Pickle in the future and give him home like he deserved. Much love!
@@jesusbrunomontesbugarin8222 I absolutely love the way that his music can be experienced in a whole new way by changing the way it's played (speed/reverse/etc)
completely out of the blue , but you should check out a (somewhat) very reflective song , _It all fades_ , which i **believe** was composed by trent reznor
At my grandfather's house, there is an old piano covered with dust. Time has not been kind to it, and it now sounds out of tune. It was his daughter's piano, which I never knew. She died suddenly, at the age of 14, when she had so much to live for. Her death left an indelible scar on the hearts of my father and grandparents. When my grandma died of cancer 15 years ago, my grandfather was left alone. It's hard to describe that kind of feeling, but this house in which so many beautiful things happened became a den of melancholy and pity. Ever since I got to know Aisatsana, this music has been directly linked to the story of my family. I imagine it played by my father's sister, in the early morning on her old piano; music that soothes souls tortured by the cruelty of the world. And this music will not stop until my grandpa is gone. Then, this house will become the tomb of stranded memories. I would have liked to love you so much, Bénédicte.
My husband told me that back when we were friends-- in relationships with other people and deeply in love with each other without realizing it-- he couldn't understand why he would think of me every time he heard this song; eventually he started listening to this piece often after we would get our regular coffee together and I had gone home.
Your description of this piece is so spot on that it kind of hurts. This is how I feel when i left my childhood hometown and moved to another place to live a new life 😔
You'd think they are peacful because you can't see how ferocious they are in real time. They are actually territorial and competitive just like animals, granted they are not as violent because of biological limitations.
Just writing this for myself. I’ve just listened to this a few times on repeat for the last hour or so. I feel intensely calm. Like maybe how I imagined weed would make me feel before I had smoked it, but this feels even nicer. My heart rate feels like it’s about 10 beats per minute. I’ve thought about some things that bother me recently and I am at ease with them. I’ve realised how not much really matters, and I should just do what makes me happy and I’m really trying to work on myself this year. I hope I can feel like this again, sometime in the near future. I want you to remember how you felt right now, when you don’t care about that which does not matter. It’s nice, isn’t it? Take it easy, Bud.
This song brings memories of my ever distancing childhood, the innocence of experiencing life, the newness, the unexpected mystery of being alive and perceiving life from our personal perception being created. Thoughts and flashbacks to the freedom I felt in the blowing wind and warming sunlight. Bike rides alone through the woods, exploring and feeling excitement for the moment without having to focus on it. The natural beauty of being alive and limitless imagination I saw in everything.
The guy whom I loved and still love, probably, introduced me to him. I have never heard of Aphex Twin, but he talked with such admiration about him, about his tracks and so on that it captivated me. But I never dared to listen to it. We are not communicating now. It really hurts and bad for me, from what a terrible person he turned out to be, but ... every time I start listening to Aphex Twin, only the best memories of him are in my head .. I'm glad that he introduced me to his work, but these songs give me pain ... as if they are part of him. I don't know how to live on
This song played through the absolute lowest point of my entire life. I hear it like a warm goodbye to life, like leaving the world behind, and finding something serene and simple waiting for you. I used to lay on my floor in the dark, and think about what would happen if I died. I imagined the faces of the people I loved, and how sad they'd be if I was gone. Those thoughts were all that kept me alive. I would just cry, and do my best to bring myself back, to relax or fall asleep. I want to cry every time I hear this song now. It's beautiful beyond what I can describe, but reminds me of such a terrible point in time. I guess I hear this track kind of fondly now. It's comforting to remember that I came back from such a place, and that whenever I may go, that hopefully there's something beautiful waiting
stay strong life is full of beautiful and ugly things/I know about wanting to give up but your right people in your life would be bummed out if you weren’t there any more trust…
My cat died today. He was more than just a pet, my family loved him, he was more like a family member to us. Shortly before, I found this song. It took me a long time to understand what this song might remind me of, but now I do. Now for me this song has become that quiet and peaceful but so sad atmosphere of an empty house that used to always have life in it. Unfortunately for me now it's realities, all that's left of my beloved cat are memories. I have spent most of my life with him, I was given a cat for my birthday when I was only 6 years old and now I am 18 and he is no longer with us. I will always remember the very day I met him. He was being sold for little money at an old junk market, I remember it being very noisy and dark. He was so scared, I thought he was afraid of everything and everyone, and I don't regret that we took him from that bad place. Over the years he gradually got used to us, and went from being that scared little kitten who was hiding from us under the table, to a very sweet and calm cat. I've had a lot of things happen to me in my life, I've been treated badly, betrayed, mocked many times. But only my cat really loved me, he never attacked or hissed at me, he always came to me when I was sad, and no matter how many times I could accidentally hurt him, he never stopped loving me. And I didn't stop loving him, either. Even when my mother punished him for his bad behavior, I never got mad at him. In all these years he had already become a part of my routine, every day when I got out of bed I would immediately go and give him something to eat, the same thing I did when I came home from school, he was very often lying in my room, he could lie on the bed, on the computer chair, on the table, just on the floor or under the bed. And when I came home tired, I would pet him and play with him. I liked it, sometimes I would call him to my room on purpose and lay him on my bed just to be near him. Often I would ask my mother if she gave him something to eat, and I often saw him running under her feet while she was cooking, even though she swore about it, but I think she was okay with it. But now that he's gone, none of that's going to happen. And now there's a special air of emptiness in my house. An emptiness that cannot be replaced. (Added a day later) But my heart is not empty, it is full of my beloved cat, and I will never forget my first best friend. I will come back here from time to time and remember him, because as long as I remember him - he will live, at least in my heart.
I recently lost my dog. Ive been waking up recently feeling that emptiness in my room. I would always come home from work i had stole or hidden, and try to get him to eat.
ive not noticed this before, but to me this mix is panned in a way a keyboard is laid out. lower notes to the left and as you go up the keyboard to higher notes it goes to the right. i have never ever thought about mixing like that but it makes so much sense for a piano composition
This shit makes me have flashbacks of the whole life I ain't even had yet, all the little happy memory's with the wife, getting married, first time at the hospital with first kid, seeing kids at each of their weddings, seeing my grandkids for the first time, saying goodbye to wife and family as I sit in a hospital bed..... Lol I'm only 19.
Absolutely beautiful comment. In case you don't know, Stone in Focus from Aphex Twin also totally fits that kind of description. Give it a listen if you haven't already.
This is the most beautifully honest, vulnerable, and melancholy song I know of aphex twin. I like all of his other stuff too. He has many layers of depth and invention.
this reminds me of growing up. from being a little baby being held in their mothers arms, to walking and talking by themselves, then going to school and learning more about the world they live in. watching them find themselves and their opinions and their ideas, realizing how much they’ve grown. life truly is a beauty, seeing someone grow up makes you realize how short life really is.
Null And while you acknowledge that you're having pseudo deep thoughts you start to realize that a few of those actually bring you into a bout of existential dread, slowly and quietly driving you to madness.
There‘s this special person i met couple months ago, and this song reminds me of her. I loved to talk to her and laugh at the most random jokes we could come up with. Seeing her happy with me was a blessing. I felt like the most wonderful person in the universe. Sadly, we had to go seperate ways very quick and lost contact. But I’m grateful that i have this wonderful song with me that reminds me of a simpler timeline in my life 🙏🏻
Nothing compares to the raw feeling Richard always creates. But this work is extra special, something so happy, thought provoking and at the same time, sad. Absolute serenity.
This is like the soundscape of a dream or a dream echo. Like the kind of music that plays in your brain a minute before waking up from a magnificent dream...
I stopped living. After trying so hard to be someone somewhere, I have grown to be just tired. Tired of people or the world, even myself. I fought so hard for me to be happy, to achieve something others wanted for me but it was constant and a daily routine to fight. For people to hear my voice, see me for who I was and love me for who I was. I stayed invisible, because it felt like shutting myself out would make the problems go away. My whole life was bringing me constant sadness and pain for wanting just simple things. I lost me in that ongoing path, I lost me in so many different ways and no one seemed to care. I tried taking my pain away but I failed and now I’m stuck. Stuck in the numbness of this life and the worst of it all, is that I don’t see a way out.
I was taking part in music therapy during my 6 months stay in a psych ward. Everyone had this task around the third month to portray ourselves and our current state of mind by using 3 instrumental songs. This was one of the songs I used. For me It’s like a grieving goodbye, but it’s not all sad. It’s like accepting something’s ending. I had to say goodbye to my personality that I thought was real, but it wasn’t. I was acting, playing someone who didn’t exist just to cover all my imperfections. I know it’s all for my good, the birds will come to me someday. But oh…how much I still miss this imaginary girl. …but how could someone love something that betrayed and destroyed someone’s whole life? How can I love something or someone that doesn’t exist? That I thought was me?
A random dude told once at a reupload of youtube music "a letter of love never readed" he said to describe this song. I can't take that out my mind yet, ever than i listen to this, i feel it, love but loneliness too. Is a strange mix, but i really love this song for that, is my favorite song of Aphex twin, thanks guys.
Idk how this is my favorite of his songs... but the simplistic and beauty articulated in this makes me feel all the world in one melody.. simply beautiful
I only found this song recently as I bought syro on vinyl. I’ve been a huge Aphex twin fan for years but this song makes me reminisce on the bad times of my life, addiction, depression, schizophrenia just to name a few and how the majority of them are over. Since being medicated I found the one true love of my life and I’m hoping that I get to play this on piano at my wedding.
Aphex Twin is the kinda band that can make a song out of Tinnitus, or whatever come to daddy was, then make a simple grand piano solo and have people wondering on life's mysteries. Definitely the best of the best, godspeed.
The feelings this gives me reminds me of how careless I was as a child. For years I had no genuine grasp of life, it was just peaceful, full of unserious moments. I had nothing to worry about nor be scared of. No personal battles to deal with. It was just beauty. My childhood didn’t last long because my depression started very early as a kid and it ruined that beauty. Now those innocent childhood memories are fading away more and more everyday. I don’t enjoy living like I did then. It feels like i’m losing that younger me who was full of life and wanted to keep the beauty alive. So in love with the world and wanting to feel everything. No one expects to stay innocent forever, but no one ever expects to have their world clouded by that grayness that ruins it for us. I just want that beauty back.
From a first time listening this high i get a vision for this song and i decided to share. While listening with my eyes closed i felt a story of the song. Its like you are very old man lying in your bed in your house alone in a room. You are lying and feeling that this is probably your last day. For a time you cant stop thinking about it in the sad way. But later some old memories kicks in and you see some scenes from your life. After dreaming like this for a short while, you started to think about dying again. Eventually you fall asleep and see moments of your lifetime again but in a dream. Waking up from the dream you realising that you lived happy life and you dying a happy man. While lying on the bed with new great thoughts you fall in the net of trying imagine all the beautiful moments of your life and suddenly you fall asleep forever.
Listening to this makes me feel like i've returned home after many years of traveling, after seeing things most wouldn't believe, facing great challenges and seeing the end of the world, and finally returning to my now overgrown, quiet and old wood cabin out in the forest, to sit down in a garden chair and finally died in peace. Like a last fleeting image of a world that once was and now only exists as a pale and empty shell of itself, this song captures the feeling of being alive, the feeling of walking in plains of grass after a violent storm, the feeling of watching old pictures of yourself, back when you were happy. The feeling of finally letting go someone you cared about and accepting that life is short, people come and go, they live and they die. the beauty of life in it's essence, this song is it.
Sometimes, we just need a break - an escape - from the sometimes harsh realities of life. And that escape, for me at least, is perfectly encapsulated in this one song. Just... sitting and taking in a simple ambience of the birds chirping and a piano playing. It's simple, and yet, it tells a lot.
When I first heard this song I cried tears of sadness as I was at a very low point in my life and now when I listen I sometimes cry tears of joy as I've changed so much since the first time I heard it. This song reminds me of that dark place and how I escaped it. The song is no longer one of despair but now I feel the birds and the resonance and embrace it's beauty just like how I embrace the beauty of everyday I'm here.
This song, particuarly with the birds and the type of piano, feels like a small, one room protestant church sunilt by the windows. No stained glass, just regular windows with the sun and sound of birds pouring in
I know no one will read this and I think that gives me the ability to be honest for once in my life. I found this song years ago when I was first learning piano and I can't forget it. I've never been good at communicating with words and this is the song that convinced me that you don't need words to convey how you feel. In fact, this proves that words fail to communicate half of our intended meanings. We're all scattered upon the jagged rocks and our broken pieces are hastily reassembled out of necessity, yet there's still an undenianble beauty to this cascade of life. The morning birds sing along to a familiar beat despite what may have happened the night before. Even now, I find myself craving the closeness that comes with being more than friends, but I am burdened with the knowledge that I will break whoever comes close to me. To Isabella, I'm sorry that I couldn't be more than I am. To Patrick, I'm sorry that I won't be able to be who you want me to be. And to anyone reading this, thank you for indulging the ramblings of a dead man. Please learn to love each other *because* of our immense differences. Hearing how others live is what makes life worth living: it doesn't validate any assumptions, it doesn't prove that how you choose to live is superior; your life is just one of the many beautiful ways to express your refusal to take all the bullshit laying down. Learn from me. Chase your dreams. Even if it costs everyrhing. Because rolling over is nothing but apathy. And as all my 2000's babies know, "Apathy is death."
The second I heard this piece I began to cry hard. Something I havent done in a long time. I immediately thought of my grandmothers house, that place was magical. And I only realized it when it was sold. I still dream of it frequently and I never forget those dreams. It is definition of peace for me and I dont think I will never find anything that compares. If a concept like heaven truly exists it would be that place for me. Thank you for this piece, I am going to treasure it.
I went on a trip with friends recently. In the first days, I started to have feelings for one of them, who was my friend for 2 years and strangely started to attract me on an emotional level. As stars quite literally aligned ti create the best possible scenario for me to shoot my shot, i confessed my feelings to her under the tropical nightsky, in a kid's playground. We came to the conclusion that our situation would make a relation between us difficult, but she seemed curious nonetheless. We then went back to our room silently to avoid waking up our other friends, who had left us a twin bed. i rolled to the side and played this song in my earphones to help me fall asleep. That's when i felt her soft fingernails gently start to rub my back, which put me in the most relaxed mood i can remember experiencing. This lasted for the whole song and strangely ended in sync with the song. This song will forever remind me of the moment i fell in love with her. Today, i asked her to be my girlfriend, and she said yes. I'm hoping this is finally the one. I love you, E.
Listening to this makes me think of grandma, i lost her around the summer of 2023, i recently visited her grave for the first time and it was that moment where it clicked, that she was gone now, under the ground below where i was standing. This song kinda feels like that moment, somberness, acceptance, knowing that she's gone but I'll always be able to go visit those resting grounds not too far from home.
I don’t know how to feel, I don’t know what to think. I don’t know how long I’ve loved her. But she’s always been in the back of my head. Her smile, her laugh, her eyes. I moved away for a while and all I did was think about this girl. I don’t know if she ever thought about me the same way I did about her, though. Regardless, I think I love her. But I’m scared that it’s been fading. I’ve come to realize that her life kept on moving while I was stuck on the idea of her. Now all I can do is move on as well. I don’t know how to tell her any of my feelings because it’s been so long now. I think I miss her voice, but I don’t know how I can hear it again.
I used to play this song whenever I felt about to commit suicide. Once I played it at 4 a.m., while my ex partner was sleeping, and I silently apologized to him for being a chaotic burden, and whispered goodbye while tears rolled down my cheeks. I saw sunlight coming subtly behind the curtains. Death was as close as it has been before.
Anyone that likes this song will probably like Brian Eno's Music for Airports. Aphex Twin's SAW II is also great and kinda similar to this but less tranquil
I love this song so much... (It’s getting worse day by day, manifesting my own body and mind. I can’t even stop it from happening. It gets better, and then it all falls apart again. It will never be as good as it originally was, nor as normal as I was when I first started. All I can do is sit and wait for my mind to stop, and all I feel during this is sadness. It’s like I can’t even feel any other emotion, I’m stuck with this for the rest of my life. I’m drowning in sadness and it gets worse day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. I can’t do anything. All I know is sadness. All I know is this worthless excuse of a body, and hell of a life. No one will ever listen if I try and make them. Nothing that happens to me is ever good, and I’m a pathetic excuse of a person. I’m not even a person at this point. All I do is sit in my room and bask in the mess of life that I myself have created. I am to blame for all that’s happened to me. No one will ever know this except me. No one will ever know what I go through everyday and continue on like it never happened. I hate it on this stupid excuse of hell on this world. I know no one that I hate more than myself. I’m growing more and more distant from my personality that I’m not even sure I have one. I will never be a first choice, even if I am “loved.” I wish it would end already. This is pathetic and I’m only a dumb excuse.)
listening to this and reading the comments makes me truly cry. But somehow that crying feels totaly okay. What a beautiful sound thats coming through my iPhone speakers right now.
This song feels like your greatest success one day, and the next day feels like your greatest failure. it encapsulates everything there is to life - the fleeting moments of happiness you feel when you win, when you strike it big, when you see all your hard work pay off. But it also is reminiscent of the times you failed. The times you disappointed those around you, disappointed your loved ones far away, and disappointed yourself. I have cried the happiest tears to this song, and have weeped to it out of sheer dejection and feelings of worthlessness. I love it.
this song, makes me think extensively about my childhood. the sounds of outside, mixed with this melody... really captivate, and evoke strong feelings of dreaded nostalgia
When I had my first meeting with my girlfriend (now ex) it was around 6:30 am, there was a party last night but she had to leave early, all night I was thinking about her, she suddenly texted me asking how i was. She told me to go to her house, without a doubt I went quickly there, we were the only ones awake, I have known this song for a while, the first thing I did was play this song, I remember looking at her, looking at her hair, her eyes, her skin , I was in love with her, our whole relationship this was our song, every time I listen to it it brings back all kinds of memories.
This song makes me want to reflect on my life the good and bad. It also makes me think of my beloved dog who passed away, I will always love you my boy ❤️
Same It can feel happy, as if like you're in a park watching the sun rise, or in the beach watching the sunset. It can feel sad, like it sounds like mourning the loss of your loved one, or the last dance with your loved one before she dies. It can feel calming, like your father is playing to you a lullaby. It can feel natural because of the birds in the background. It can feel scary, as if it's like playing in an empty house where no one lives, and it's playing by itself It can feel anything.
When I was rlly depressed constantly going out, bad relationship with family, and doing drugs, I’d be listening to this song envisioning what it’d be like feeling at peace with life. Exploring and growing authentically and being unapologetic about who I am without second guessing or criticizing who I am. I imagined myself independent with friends that care about me, achieving and working toward goals, feeling fulfilled and content with what is when I became an adult. Felt impossible for me at the time but it Gave me room to reflect on how I could adjust what I did to start being happy in the present. When I shifted the way I thought about myself, my values, and actions, I released all the sadness that fueled these negative things in my life. I grew close with family and became best friends with my parents and siblings, turned around in school, and took care of my healthZ Now I graduated high school this summer and I ghosted everyone and am saving my money, attending a college enrolled in classes that would help me get my masters faster and open opportunities for studying in France. I always wanted to study in France as a kid and now next summer I’ll be studying at the same university my grandma did in France and meeting my family members that got separated from eachother during war. Makes me happy I’m pursuing what I dreamed of as a kid as the last few years I was incredibly depressed and lacked confidence in what I could do limiting myself and tried so hard to be liked by others. I’m at peace currently alone and doing my own thing treating myself like my own friend. It’s refreshing and i realized when I’m invested in myself, care for myself and really live accordingly to my values it truly boosts my esteem and naturally I meet quality ppl along the way of my own journey. I remember always fearing change and always cared about social validation, drugs and going out etc with no hope for my own future. Now I’m off most social media, working and saving money and spending quality time with those around me w love. It just brings me joy living more simple like I’m a kid again. Instead of getting drunk every weekend I garden and cook with my grandparents for our family members and neighbors.I grow each day with more gratitude and love for life. And the moments this song reminds me of changes at each diff stage as I grow up. This song makes me want to go back in time and give my younger hurt self a big hug as I’m becoming the person I needed when I was younger.
hello guys, some of you guys won’t probably read this but, i have come back here for the 21th time again at night having a breakdown and I thought I should decide to leave something in the comment section. i come here everytime after a argument i have with a “someone” or when i just think about life, it’s 10:25 pm out here and i haven’t really ate anything today even yesterday, im just out here laying down on my bed typing this out. i’ve been “strange” these past few days, i think im losing myself, its getting all worse man, i don’t know if it’s just me or it’s something else but it’s just getting all to junk. I’ve been falling to a hole which inside is just a dark space where darkness surrounds me, no way out, like bro i can’t do this no more. it’s all bullsh*t. i don’t know what’s wrong with me, i don’t know what’s gotten into me but i just feel so different and more worse man. okay that’s all I’m gonna write might come back ig lmao.
I'm not one to repeat songs but I've been doing it constantly for this one. It takes me to such a familiar place but also gives me something new every time. When I play this, my life just stops and I'm there and there's nothing else. Thank you RDJ.
![aisatsana [102]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/p0Wva6X0ruM/mqdefault.jpg)
![Audiomodern Soundbox Instrument Platform Tutorial - Getting Started [GIVEAWAY]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/WufvsOsFw8U/mqdefault.jpg)
Love the fact that this comes from the same man who gave us Come To Daddy and Windowlicker... Aphex Twin is a whole world to be explored
There's also Avril 14th and Nanou2, if you're interested
Was gonna say, this is not the only brooding, sombre piece he's done on the piano...
Rhubarb, lichen, stone in focus. All fantastic
Maybe drugs 🤣
@@hudsondareal5431 "I never wanted to big up any drugs, because I don't reckon they deserve it. It's just something that you choose to do. I probably come across as, like, 'Yeah, acid and weed are amazing.' But I don't think that at all, really. And if I did, I wouldn't want to say it in an interview. Plus, I'm never under the influence of drugs when I make music. Whenever I have been, it's always been totally rubbish. It's a real disciplined thing, making music. When you're tripping, you're just fucked. You could never get it together to make a track. When I'm stoned, I go to bed." google some interviews
I feel like this song is truly neutral as far as emotional presentation. Not to say it is lacking but that it rides that fine line between joyous and sadness that the listeners interpretation is the deciding factor. There is nothing contrived about this piece of music, it merely brings out what lives inside of us.
Well said, my friend.
wow..
I've been obsessed by this idea recently
dang thanks!
almost every minor chord in this piece have a "major" note in the right hand, so someone prefer to hear the happy note, and someone hear the sad/deep minor.
so the individuals pespective is what pushes it either way
R.I.P. my dear friend Brandon Scarborough. A true Aphex obsessive (as well as me of course) I wish you had lived to hear this album. Especially this track
some piece of him that's in you heard it
god damn
Long live his memory
He has heard it mate, every time you listen to it you're friend can hear it through you, through you're memories.
May you're friend rest in peace and you find joy in this song 🙏❤️
Started crushing on a girl named Anastasia, came back to this song and finally figured out that aisatsana is just anastasia backwards... Thank you for your such a beautiful track, Richard.
Same.....
Me too bro but sadly my crush is married
also, Richard's girlfriend is called Anastasia.
*Wife
Same Bro
Richard wrote this piece for his wife. Listening to this with that in mind makes it all the more sweet.
Wait, I just realised the name of this song is the first name of his wife but backwards.
Second wife, right?
Probably nobody will ever read this but I am so overcome by guilt and grief that I need to put into words how I feel. A year ago I moved back into my dad's house during a period of my life where I had been really low for a while. And my first friend was this stray cat named Pickle. Literally, he was already inside the house and he ran right up to me and started rubbing up on my legs and demanding attention. He was always like that, sweet and friendly, but also demanding and it was hilarious. Over the course of this year I got to know my little buddy so much better, spent hours just laying with him, petting him, and spending time. It was routine that when I'd get home, Pickle would be there yelling at me to let him in, and sometimes I would, sometimes we couldn't, but I always tried to put food and water out for him, and we got him a little kennel too and insulated it, and we put it right by our door hoping he'd come to stay in there but he rarely did. He farted a lot, and they stank badly, but no matter how terrible it was it always made us laugh. And he was beautiful, orange and white cat with these blue eyes. Everytime he'd come around he'd be covered in scabs and he loved getting them scratched, it always made me so sad when he'd come by with fresh scabs or scratches, it just seemed like the poor little guy couldn't ever catch a break. He just wanted love and warmth and it just seemed like everyone and everything was so mean to him. I guess I felt kinship to the cat in that way, as stupid as it sounds. So I tried my best to keep him clean and fed and healthy. Unfortunately, this winter it seems his luck ran out. When the cold front came through Texas is right around the time he stopped coming around the house. The other stray we care for kept coming by, but even when I'd put food out for him, the only animal eating it was the pigeons. For these last two weeks I've missed him so much, and now that I know that he's really gone I miss him even more. We found him dead on the sidewalk, laying in the dirt the same way he always used to love doing. I can't even bring myself to move him because touching him while he's so cold and not feeling his warmth anymore kills me. I've been crying non stop for two hours. I feel so culpable. I wish I had just let him stay inside, I wish he stayed in his little box, I don't know how he died but I can't stand to think about how sad and scared he must have been. And I hate thinking that he left this world thinking he wasn't loved because we didn't answer the door for him when I loved him so much. I feel so empty with my little buddy gone even though I barely knew him. I never really believed in an afterlife but I can't stand thinking that he doesn't know how much I cared for him. I want to believe just to hope that he can hear me right now while I cry in anguish over him because he deserved so much better, Pickle deserved the world and I hate that I couldn't give it to him. I just want him to come back. I wish he was still here, I wish I could go out my front door right now and listen to him scream at me while he hops my fence and walks right up to my door like he owned it, just like he always did. I'd give anything to have him walking in front of and between my legs blocking my path again. I'm just so sorry he's gone. And that I didn't help as much as he deserved.
When I was preparing to go to college, my dad a year prior had gotten a puppy named Jack. All we did was sit around and hang out, and he was so, so wild. We spent so many days indoors whether it been from an ice-storm that came through, or the hot summer days where we'd hang around in the air conditioned air, we had each other, because my parents wanted a trained, expensive dog, and he was quite the opposite. We understood each other because there was a distance between his owners, and my parents, and we somehow in some universe understood the distance there was, that's why we had each other. Animals understand, and they know, they feel the love. When my dad kicked me out of the house so I could move into college, I took everything, there was no reason to go back home except for the holidays, and I really needed that dog in my life, but I couldn't take him. A few months after I was in college. I finally got to see him, and he was so wild and happy to see me, he practically jumped in my car when I pulled up and he NEVER did that. After that day, I never found the time to go and visit him, and he wasn't being watched and was let out one day where he was hit by a car, and was forced to be put down. For the longest time it hurt, and it still hurts as this was only 2 months ago. I think about it a lot, I really do, the emotions he probably felt, knowing that his big brother left him alone, and he died alone. My dad loved him enough, but he left the world without me being at his side, and that always hurt. I think the universe let's me know that he understood I couldn't be there, but that love is always there, they understand, even after death. You don't have to believe in an after-life, whether that may be heaven, or the universe or whatever, you just have to believe their love stays with you always. Cheer up man, Pickle's love will always follow your heart, all-day, everyday.
Aint reading allat
@@dwk607 i was gonna say “i aint readin allat (i read allat😿)”
Feel your pain man. Typing it in tear's. I hope you're doing well. I really wish you to meet some cat like your lovely Pickle in the future and give him home like he deserved. Much love!
Forgive yourself, even if it takes some time.
Only Aphex Twin's piano can stop me in the middle of everything and make me just listen, motionless.
MonoTheLuke have you heard Avril 14th reversed?, you should if you havent
@@jesusbrunomontesbugarin8222 I absolutely love the way that his music can be experienced in a whole new way by changing the way it's played (speed/reverse/etc)
completely out of the blue , but you should check out a (somewhat) very reflective song , _It all fades_ , which i **believe** was composed by trent reznor
@@jesusbrunomontesbugarin8222 Thank you for exposing me to this unexpected wonder
thats why yo momma dead
Aphex Twin is the only proof needed to convince anybody that music can communicate what words could never hope to.
yeah he even says in an interview…
This😢
I'm convinced I like or atleast listen to instrumental music more often
The birds in the background are so quiet, yet add so much. This song feels like being a little girl. Grass stains, clouds, and princess nightgowns
It's like a field recording
@@tdgtto it IS a field recording
@@tdgtto RATIOED
:(
At my grandfather's house, there is an old piano covered with dust. Time has not been kind to it, and it now sounds out of tune. It was his daughter's piano, which I never knew. She died suddenly, at the age of 14, when she had so much to live for. Her death left an indelible scar on the hearts of my father and grandparents. When my grandma died of cancer 15 years ago, my grandfather was left alone. It's hard to describe that kind of feeling, but this house in which so many beautiful things happened became a den of melancholy and pity. Ever since I got to know Aisatsana, this music has been directly linked to the story of my family. I imagine it played by my father's sister, in the early morning on her old piano; music that soothes souls tortured by the cruelty of the world. And this music will not stop until my grandpa is gone. Then, this house will become the tomb of stranded memories.
I would have liked to love you so much, Bénédicte.
ayooo what netflix series is that its straight up fire ️🔥🔥🔥
@@oiseauidiotetcidénéb [102]
@@isaie7144 clever
Heartbreaking bro
this made me cry a bit, it's a really beautiful story
My husband told me that back when we were friends-- in relationships with other people and deeply in love with each other without realizing it-- he couldn't understand why he would think of me every time he heard this song; eventually he started listening to this piece often after we would get our regular coffee together and I had gone home.
Wow 😮 that is a beautiful comment! Thanks for sharing Jess
Being deeply in love with someone without realising it might be the greatest feeling in the world
wholesome
thats why yo momma dead
Very sweet comment, I feel the same way about a particular person
Typically, you listen to a song.
This is a song that listens to you.
Typically, you make a comment
This is a comment that makes you
@@willb1405 incredible
Cringe
@@epidemic1207 you’ll figure it out one day friend
Amen man
This song makes me think about a person who has lost everything and is now wandering around the world...that feeling of wistfulness...
You absolutely nailed it.
that was me 5 years ago. i listened this song everyday while doing it.
@@postblue6296 I hope things are better now for you, my friend
stop talling about me
thats why yo momma dead
This song feels like saying goodbye to everything you loved, without knowing what to say
Your description of this piece is so spot on that it kind of hurts. This is how I feel when i left my childhood hometown and moved to another place to live a new life 😔
This track is basically watching the same object from different angles and this object is a person he loves.
plants are basically our ancient cousins who found a simpler and more peaceful way to live
Can't like this comment enough.
that's the kids crying now, nice one
Mindroamer Theta yo what the fuck
Mindroamer Theta was that hit hard
You'd think they are peacful because you can't see how ferocious they are in real time. They are actually territorial and competitive just like animals, granted they are not as violent because of biological limitations.
Just writing this for myself.
I’ve just listened to this a few times on repeat for the last hour or so. I feel intensely calm. Like maybe how I imagined weed would make me feel before I had smoked it, but this feels even nicer. My heart rate feels like it’s about 10 beats per minute. I’ve thought about some things that bother me recently and I am at ease with them. I’ve realised how not much really matters, and I should just do what makes me happy and I’m really trying to work on myself this year. I hope I can feel like this again, sometime in the near future. I want you to remember how you felt right now, when you don’t care about that which does not matter. It’s nice, isn’t it?
Take it easy, Bud.
I've been thinking recently about how no drug has ever made me feel truly peaceful and reflective like how I feel every now and then when I'm sober
I hope you're doing well in your life journey. Love!
thats why yo momma dead
Everybody wants their own little place in the world .
And maybe mine is here…
Loving you from a distance…
this isn't your place
@toby wong wouldn't you get bored of canada after a while?
well said
This song brings memories of my ever distancing childhood, the innocence of experiencing life, the newness, the unexpected mystery of being alive and perceiving life from our personal perception being created. Thoughts and flashbacks to the freedom I felt in the blowing wind and warming sunlight. Bike rides alone through the woods, exploring and feeling excitement for the moment without having to focus on it. The natural beauty of being alive and limitless imagination I saw in everything.
holy shit Man, i thought of the same. Also, thanks for reminding me of that
the distancing, especially
And now it feels gone forever.
* Kills you * 🗿
Exactly this… makes me a little bit sad
the closing track on an Aphex Twin album that we waited 13 years for, and haven't had one since... Food for thought
thats why yo momma dead
Nanou2 was equally sad
I mean... if you're starved for RDJ music just go looking and I'm sure you'll find something you've not heard before.
This sounds like watching your kids grow up... I love life.
The guy whom I loved and still love, probably, introduced me to him.
I have never heard of Aphex Twin, but he talked with such admiration about him, about his tracks and so on that it captivated me. But I never dared to listen to it.
We are not communicating now. It really hurts and bad for me, from what a terrible person he turned out to be, but ... every time I start listening to Aphex Twin, only the best memories of him are in my head ..
I'm glad that he introduced me to his work, but these songs give me pain ... as if they are part of him.
I don't know how to live on
You’re beautiful, and from the comment you left I can tell you also have a beautiful soul. You’ll find somebody. Just keep your head up
This song played through the absolute lowest point of my entire life. I hear it like a warm goodbye to life, like leaving the world behind, and finding something serene and simple waiting for you. I used to lay on my floor in the dark, and think about what would happen if I died. I imagined the faces of the people I loved, and how sad they'd be if I was gone. Those thoughts were all that kept me alive. I would just cry, and do my best to bring myself back, to relax or fall asleep. I want to cry every time I hear this song now. It's beautiful beyond what I can describe, but reminds me of such a terrible point in time. I guess I hear this track kind of fondly now. It's comforting to remember that I came back from such a place, and that whenever I may go, that hopefully there's something beautiful waiting
stay strong life is full of beautiful and ugly things/I know about wanting to give up but your right people in your life would be bummed out if you weren’t there any more trust…
My cat died today. He was more than just a pet, my family loved him, he was more like a family member to us. Shortly before, I found this song. It took me a long time to understand what this song might remind me of, but now I do. Now for me this song has become that quiet and peaceful but so sad atmosphere of an empty house that used to always have life in it. Unfortunately for me now it's realities, all that's left of my beloved cat are memories. I have spent most of my life with him, I was given a cat for my birthday when I was only 6 years old and now I am 18 and he is no longer with us. I will always remember the very day I met him. He was being sold for little money at an old junk market, I remember it being very noisy and dark. He was so scared, I thought he was afraid of everything and everyone, and I don't regret that we took him from that bad place. Over the years he gradually got used to us, and went from being that scared little kitten who was hiding from us under the table, to a very sweet and calm cat. I've had a lot of things happen to me in my life, I've been treated badly, betrayed, mocked many times. But only my cat really loved me, he never attacked or hissed at me, he always came to me when I was sad, and no matter how many times I could accidentally hurt him, he never stopped loving me. And I didn't stop loving him, either. Even when my mother punished him for his bad behavior, I never got mad at him. In all these years he had already become a part of my routine, every day when I got out of bed I would immediately go and give him something to eat, the same thing I did when I came home from school, he was very often lying in my room, he could lie on the bed, on the computer chair, on the table, just on the floor or under the bed. And when I came home tired, I would pet him and play with him. I liked it, sometimes I would call him to my room on purpose and lay him on my bed just to be near him. Often I would ask my mother if she gave him something to eat, and I often saw him running under her feet while she was cooking, even though she swore about it, but I think she was okay with it. But now that he's gone, none of that's going to happen. And now there's a special air of emptiness in my house. An emptiness that cannot be replaced.
(Added a day later) But my heart is not empty, it is full of my beloved cat, and I will never forget my first best friend. I will come back here from time to time and remember him, because as long as I remember him - he will live, at least in my heart.
I recently lost my dog. Ive been waking up recently feeling that emptiness in my room. I would always come home from work i had stole or hidden, and try to get him to eat.
I'm progressing loss at the moment and this helps me through.
alexam97 same
hii, i'm with u^^
i relate
Well that was unexpected. Beautiful piece of music.
That's Aphex for ya
Yes
@@FoundGod well in 5 years you changed your username. What else changed for you in that time?
@@stitcha123 it’s a different account lol
@@chestcavity_ dammit
ive not noticed this before, but to me this mix is panned in a way a keyboard is laid out. lower notes to the left and as you go up the keyboard to higher notes it goes to the right. i have never ever thought about mixing like that but it makes so much sense for a piano composition
its more like the low end is on the left and high end on the right
Timeless.................................can make a grown man weep....................peace........
Skamosmusic* feels
This shit makes me have flashbacks of the whole life I ain't even had yet, all the little happy memory's with the wife, getting married, first time at the hospital with first kid, seeing kids at each of their weddings, seeing my grandkids for the first time, saying goodbye to wife and family as I sit in a hospital bed..... Lol I'm only 19.
A lot of poetry in your comment. Great and good kid.
Too many movies, dude! Nice script but...it is the Hollywood effect.
Calin Petrescu I know but still it is nice to get in the zone, and let the music kick in.
Absolutely beautiful comment. In case you don't know, Stone in Focus from Aphex Twin also totally fits that kind of description. Give it a listen if you haven't already.
logicalfallacy234 thanks man, i'll check it out.
I don't know why, but whenever I hear this one, I come to a pause and find myself weeping.
This is the most beautifully honest, vulnerable, and melancholy song I know of aphex twin. I like all of his other stuff too.
He has many layers of depth and invention.
this reminds me of growing up. from being a little baby being held in their mothers arms, to walking and talking by themselves, then going to school and learning more about the world they live in. watching them find themselves and their opinions and their ideas, realizing how much they’ve grown. life truly is a beauty, seeing someone grow up makes you realize how short life really is.
i’m scared to grow up. i’m graduating high school in 6 months and i really have no idea what’s next
@@jamiesykes8852 Same bro I graduate next year and I've got no idea what to do with my life
thats why yo momma dead
Nobody has a signature like Aphex Twin. This track is just nice and relaxing, like dying in my sleep. I hope he does more, energetic or not.
Sometimes I like to look sadly out of a rainy bus window, while having pseudo deep thoughts
Exception
also cocks
Null And while you acknowledge that you're having pseudo deep thoughts you start to realize that a few of those actually bring you into a bout of existential dread, slowly and quietly driving you to madness.
a night bus ...
M E T A
that final bass note
tears every time
love this track so much!
Listening to this with the birds singing in the background is almost perfect.
There‘s this special person i met couple months ago, and this song reminds me of her. I loved to talk to her and laugh at the most random jokes we could come up with. Seeing her happy with me was a blessing. I felt like the most wonderful person in the universe.
Sadly, we had to go seperate ways very quick and lost contact.
But I’m grateful that i have this wonderful song with me that reminds me of a simpler timeline in my life 🙏🏻
glad it’s a good memory/somethings can last forever in your mind
Nothing compares to the raw feeling Richard always creates. But this work is extra special, something so happy, thought provoking and at the same time, sad. Absolute serenity.
Yeah, this makes me think if the tracks "rhubarb" and "Avril 14th" had a child.
ilulzalot thats actually quite accurate cool thought friend
Lee absolute serenity. You've described it perfectly.
Yup.... many’a’more like this I hope..
thats why yo momma dead
so good
Man I ain’t safe from your comments even if I’m not listening to bladee
Why are you everywhere
@@deadinfebruary because I love you
@@OhMyPulse and I do too
The birds chirping, the peaceful steadily building melody. This piece is so beautiful it makes me cry.
yes right up there with Avril 14th and A5 em2500 M253X
@@vico805 Nanou2 also
I live in constant fear,Guilt,And Grief And hoping for a better tomorrow…
This is like the soundscape of a dream or a dream echo. Like the kind of music that plays in your brain a minute before waking up from a magnificent dream...
I stopped living.
After trying so hard to be someone somewhere, I have grown to be just tired. Tired of people or the world, even myself. I fought so hard for me to be happy, to achieve something others wanted for me but it was constant and a daily routine to fight. For people to hear my voice, see me for who I was and love me for who I was. I stayed invisible, because it felt like shutting myself out would make the problems go away. My whole life was bringing me constant sadness and pain for wanting just simple things. I lost me in that ongoing path, I lost me in so many different ways and no one seemed to care. I tried taking my pain away but I failed and now I’m stuck. Stuck in the numbness of this life and the worst of it all, is that I don’t see a way out.
I’ll never understand how such beautiful music is created
with the heart and soul
I was taking part in music therapy during my 6 months stay in a psych ward. Everyone had this task around the third month to portray ourselves and our current state of mind by using 3 instrumental songs. This was one of the songs I used.
For me It’s like a grieving goodbye, but it’s not all sad. It’s like accepting something’s ending.
I had to say goodbye to my personality that I thought was real, but it wasn’t. I was acting, playing someone who didn’t exist just to cover all my imperfections.
I know it’s all for my good, the birds will come to me someday. But oh…how much I still miss this imaginary girl.
…but how could someone love something that betrayed and destroyed someone’s whole life? How can I love something or someone that doesn’t exist? That I thought was me?
Sunday morning... countryside... fields... windows open... coffee... piano... chilling...
stfu
no u
Horse fucking in old Johnny's barn. Sweet country yee haw yo.
...cold...
...and cloudy...
from IDM to a soft piano solo... talent.
Luis Ramos this is IDM, just listen those artificial beautiful birds (:
the term IDM is so corny
A random dude told once at a reupload of youtube music "a letter of love never readed" he said to describe this song. I can't take that out my mind yet, ever than i listen to this, i feel it, love but loneliness too. Is a strange mix, but i really love this song for that, is my favorite song of Aphex twin, thanks guys.
Idk how this is my favorite of his songs... but the simplistic and beauty articulated in this makes me feel all the world in one melody..
simply beautiful
I only found this song recently as I bought syro on vinyl. I’ve been a huge Aphex twin fan for years but this song makes me reminisce on the bad times of my life, addiction, depression, schizophrenia just to name a few and how the majority of them are over. Since being medicated I found the one true love of my life and I’m hoping that I get to play this on piano at my wedding.
A reflection about growing up, friends moving on, but realising that nostalgia still tugs on the heartstrings.
Aphex Twin is the kinda band that can make a song out of Tinnitus, or whatever come to daddy was, then make a simple grand piano solo and have people wondering on life's mysteries. Definitely the best of the best, godspeed.
My best friends from childhood have passed away.
I will always cherish the times we spent together.
They live on in my heart and in my mind.
The feelings this gives me reminds me of how careless I was as a child. For years I had no genuine grasp of life, it was just peaceful, full of unserious moments. I had nothing to worry about nor be scared of. No personal battles to deal with. It was just beauty. My childhood didn’t last long because my depression started very early as a kid and it ruined that beauty. Now those innocent childhood memories are fading away more and more everyday. I don’t enjoy living like I did then. It feels like i’m losing that younger me who was full of life and wanted to keep the beauty alive. So in love with the world and wanting to feel everything. No one expects to stay innocent forever, but no one ever expects to have their world clouded by that grayness that ruins it for us. I just want that beauty back.
this song has such a complex and ambiguous emotional tone to me. I can't describe how it makes me feel
From a first time listening this high i get a vision for this song and i decided to share.
While listening with my eyes closed i felt a story of the song.
Its like you are very old man lying in your bed in your house alone in a room. You are lying and feeling that this is probably your last day. For a time you cant stop thinking about it in the sad way. But later some old memories kicks in and you see some scenes from your life. After dreaming like this for a short while, you started to think about dying again. Eventually you fall asleep and see moments of your lifetime again but in a dream. Waking up from the dream you realising that you lived happy life and you dying a happy man. While lying on the bed with new great thoughts you fall in the net of trying imagine all the beautiful moments of your life and suddenly you fall asleep forever.
Listening to this makes me feel like i've returned home after many years of traveling, after seeing things most wouldn't believe, facing great challenges and seeing the end of the world, and finally returning to my now overgrown, quiet and old wood cabin out in the forest, to sit down in a garden chair and finally died in peace.
Like a last fleeting image of a world that once was and now only exists as a pale and empty shell of itself, this song captures the feeling of being alive, the feeling of walking in plains of grass after a violent storm, the feeling of watching old pictures of yourself, back when you were happy.
The feeling of finally letting go someone you cared about and accepting that life is short, people come and go, they live and they die.
the beauty of life in it's essence, this song is it.
Sometimes, we just need a break - an escape - from the sometimes harsh realities of life.
And that escape, for me at least, is perfectly encapsulated in this one song. Just... sitting and taking in a simple ambience of the birds chirping and a piano playing. It's simple, and yet, it tells a lot.
When I first heard this song I cried tears of sadness as I was at a very low point in my life and now when I listen I sometimes cry tears of joy as I've changed so much since the first time I heard it. This song reminds me of that dark place and how I escaped it. The song is no longer one of despair but now I feel the birds and the resonance and embrace it's beauty just like how I embrace the beauty of everyday I'm here.
Congratulations, you can be proud of yourself ❤
This song, particuarly with the birds and the type of piano, feels like a small, one room protestant church sunilt by the windows. No stained glass, just regular windows with the sun and sound of birds pouring in
This has put my sweet son to sleep for 7 years
beautiful!
#3 rhubard and stone in focus are great also!
I know no one will read this and I think that gives me the ability to be honest for once in my life.
I found this song years ago when I was first learning piano and I can't forget it. I've never been good at communicating with words and this is the song that convinced me that you don't need words to convey how you feel. In fact, this proves that words fail to communicate half of our intended meanings.
We're all scattered upon the jagged rocks and our broken pieces are hastily reassembled out of necessity, yet there's still an undenianble beauty to this cascade of life. The morning birds sing along to a familiar beat despite what may have happened the night before. Even now, I find myself craving the closeness that comes with being more than friends, but I am burdened with the knowledge that I will break whoever comes close to me.
To Isabella, I'm sorry that I couldn't be more than I am. To Patrick, I'm sorry that I won't be able to be who you want me to be. And to anyone reading this, thank you for indulging the ramblings of a dead man.
Please learn to love each other *because* of our immense differences. Hearing how others live is what makes life worth living: it doesn't validate any assumptions, it doesn't prove that how you choose to live is superior; your life is just one of the many beautiful ways to express your refusal to take all the bullshit laying down. Learn from me. Chase your dreams. Even if it costs everyrhing. Because rolling over is nothing but apathy. And as all my 2000's babies know, "Apathy is death."
The second I heard this piece I began to cry hard. Something I havent done in a long time.
I immediately thought of my grandmothers house, that place was magical. And I only realized it when it was sold. I still dream of it frequently and I never forget those dreams. It is definition of peace for me and I dont think I will never find anything that compares.
If a concept like heaven truly exists it would be that place for me.
Thank you for this piece, I am going to treasure it.
I went on a trip with friends recently. In the first days, I started to have feelings for one of them, who was my friend for 2 years and strangely started to attract me on an emotional level. As stars quite literally aligned ti create the best possible scenario for me to shoot my shot, i confessed my feelings to her under the tropical nightsky, in a kid's playground. We came to the conclusion that our situation would make a relation between us difficult, but she seemed curious nonetheless. We then went back to our room silently to avoid waking up our other friends, who had left us a twin bed. i rolled to the side and played this song in my earphones to help me fall asleep. That's when i felt her soft fingernails gently start to rub my back, which put me in the most relaxed mood i can remember experiencing. This lasted for the whole song and strangely ended in sync with the song.
This song will forever remind me of the moment i fell in love with her.
Today, i asked her to be my girlfriend, and she said yes. I'm hoping this is finally the one.
I love you, E.
Thanks for sharing. Lovely story man. Hope you two doing well and will be
@@CatWithGamepad currently making rings at a workshop with her. she's the best. thank you!!
listened to this song for the first time while on acid and cried.
I came back and listened to it sober and cried again.
beautiful.
'Aisatsana' --> presumably a reference to Aphex's wife, Anastasia
Yes, you're right. It's an anagram for Anastasia.
Listening to this makes me think of grandma, i lost her around the summer of 2023, i recently visited her grave for the first time and it was that moment where it clicked, that she was gone now, under the ground below where i was standing.
This song kinda feels like that moment, somberness, acceptance, knowing that she's gone but I'll always be able to go visit those resting grounds not too far from home.
I don’t know how to feel, I don’t know what to think. I don’t know how long I’ve loved her. But she’s always been in the back of my head. Her smile, her laugh, her eyes. I moved away for a while and all I did was think about this girl. I don’t know if she ever thought about me the same way I did about her, though. Regardless, I think I love her. But I’m scared that it’s been fading. I’ve come to realize that her life kept on moving while I was stuck on the idea of her. Now all I can do is move on as well. I don’t know how to tell her any of my feelings because it’s been so long now. I think I miss her voice, but I don’t know how I can hear it again.
I hope to talk to her once more.
Ok
I used to play this song whenever I felt about to commit suicide. Once I played it at 4 a.m., while my ex partner was sleeping, and I silently apologized to him for being a chaotic burden, and whispered goodbye while tears rolled down my cheeks. I saw sunlight coming subtly behind the curtains. Death was as close as it has been before.
😔😔
powerful testimony. of your strength, and this music's quiet power.
Absolutely beautiful.
I always listen to this in the autumn, when life starts to slow down.
Anyone that likes this song will probably like Brian Eno's Music for Airports. Aphex Twin's SAW II is also great and kinda similar to this but less tranquil
ay bruh I was just thinking the same thing ! He was definitely channeling eno in this one
I love this song so much...
(It’s getting worse day by day, manifesting my own body and mind. I can’t even stop it from happening. It gets better, and then it all falls apart again. It will never be as good as it originally was, nor as normal as I was when I first started. All I can do is sit and wait for my mind to stop, and all I feel during this is sadness. It’s like I can’t even feel any other emotion, I’m stuck with this for the rest of my life. I’m drowning in sadness and it gets worse day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. I can’t do anything. All I know is sadness. All I know is this worthless excuse of a body, and hell of a life. No one will ever listen if I try and make them. Nothing that happens to me is ever good, and I’m a pathetic excuse of a person. I’m not even a person at this point. All I do is sit in my room and bask in the mess of life that I myself have created. I am to blame for all that’s happened to me. No one will ever know this except me. No one will ever know what I go through everyday and continue on like it never happened. I hate it on this stupid excuse of hell on this world. I know no one that I hate more than myself. I’m growing more and more distant from my personality that I’m not even sure I have one. I will never be a first choice, even if I am “loved.” I wish it would end already. This is pathetic and I’m only a dumb excuse.)
I feel the same way
I promise you it 100% gets better after a while. Just stick through it, work on yourself and you WILL start to improve. You've got this man.
real
to have my feelings be put into words in a way that fits precisely is so scary to see
Real
listening to this and reading the comments makes me truly cry. But somehow that crying feels totaly okay. What a beautiful sound thats coming through my iPhone speakers right now.
thats why yo momma dead
It's okay to cry, crying is apart of being human bro, keep living strong
This song feels like your greatest success one day, and the next day feels like your greatest failure. it encapsulates everything there is to life - the fleeting moments of happiness you feel when you win, when you strike it big, when you see all your hard work pay off. But it also is reminiscent of the times you failed. The times you disappointed those around you, disappointed your loved ones far away, and disappointed yourself. I have cried the happiest tears to this song, and have weeped to it out of sheer dejection and feelings of worthlessness. I love it.
beautifully put my friend
Nothing compares to the raw feeling he always creates. Aphex Twin is a whole world has to be explored
this song, makes me think extensively about my childhood. the sounds of outside, mixed with this melody... really captivate, and evoke strong feelings of dreaded nostalgia
Erik Satie would be proud
So true!!!
+malcom middle who is that? :)
+Noctis Sama Just type Erik Satie into TH-cam there. Or to be even better Erik Satie, Daniel Versano, Gymenopedies
+malcom middle Richard did mention Satie as an influence in an interview some ages ago.
Planck Epoch you think?
one of he's most beautiful tunes
When I had my first meeting with my girlfriend (now ex) it was around 6:30 am, there was a party last night but she had to leave early, all night I was thinking about her, she suddenly texted me asking how i was. She told me to go to her house, without a doubt I went quickly there, we were the only ones awake, I have known this song for a while, the first thing I did was play this song, I remember looking at her, looking at her hair, her eyes, her skin , I was in love with her, our whole relationship this was our song, every time I listen to it it brings back all kinds of memories.
bellissimo pezzo! uno di quegli artisti che sai non ti deluderà mai!!
I’ve cried with this
I miss her and what we could’ve been
You will find peace
I love you, person who's reading the coments
I love you too
back atcha babe :-*
:3
Love is all we have and we wouldn’t be here without it
Thank you. c:
When I listen to this and look outside everything is in the right place.
There’s a strange loneliness to this song
So much emotion in this track! I still love it.
This song makes me want to reflect on my life the good and bad. It also makes me think of my beloved dog who passed away, I will always love you my boy ❤️
This makes me feel so many emotions all at once
Same
It can feel happy, as if like you're in a park watching the sun rise, or in the beach watching the sunset.
It can feel sad, like it sounds like mourning the loss of your loved one, or the last dance with your loved one before she dies.
It can feel calming, like your father is playing to you a lullaby.
It can feel natural because of the birds in the background.
It can feel scary, as if it's like playing in an empty house where no one lives, and it's playing by itself
It can feel anything.
this song makes me think about the only person who ruined my life was myself
praying for your life to turnaround god bless
I hear you
This is still my favorite song. Gets me every time.
Syro is a good album.
When I was rlly depressed constantly going out, bad relationship with family, and doing drugs, I’d be listening to this song envisioning what it’d be like feeling at peace with life. Exploring and growing authentically and being unapologetic about who I am without second guessing or criticizing who I am. I imagined myself independent with friends that care about me, achieving and working toward goals, feeling fulfilled and content with what is when I became an adult. Felt impossible for me at the time but it Gave me room to reflect on how I could adjust what I did to start being happy in the present. When I shifted the way I thought about myself, my values, and actions, I released all the sadness that fueled these negative things in my life. I grew close with family and became best friends with my parents and siblings, turned around in school, and took care of my healthZ Now I graduated high school this summer and I ghosted everyone and am saving my money, attending a college enrolled in classes that would help me get my masters faster and open opportunities for studying in France. I always wanted to study in France as a kid and now next summer I’ll be studying at the same university my grandma did in France and meeting my family members that got separated from eachother during war. Makes me happy I’m pursuing what I dreamed of as a kid as the last few years I was incredibly depressed and lacked confidence in what I could do limiting myself and tried so hard to be liked by others. I’m at peace currently alone and doing my own thing treating myself like my own friend. It’s refreshing and i realized when I’m invested in myself, care for myself and really live accordingly to my values it truly boosts my esteem and naturally I meet quality ppl along the way of my own journey. I remember always fearing change and always cared about social validation, drugs and going out etc with no hope for my own future. Now I’m off most social media, working and saving money and spending quality time with those around me w love. It just brings me joy living more simple like I’m a kid again. Instead of getting drunk every weekend I garden and cook with my grandparents for our family members and neighbors.I grow each day with more gratitude and love for life. And the moments this song reminds me of changes at each diff stage as I grow up. This song makes me want to go back in time and give my younger hurt self a big hug as I’m becoming the person I needed when I was younger.
hello guys, some of you guys won’t probably read this but, i have come back here for the 21th time again at night having a breakdown and I thought I should decide to leave something in the comment section.
i come here everytime after a argument i have with a “someone” or when i just think about life,
it’s 10:25 pm out here and i haven’t really ate anything today even yesterday, im just out here laying down on my bed typing this out.
i’ve been “strange” these past few days, i think im losing myself, its getting all worse man, i don’t know if it’s just me or it’s something else but it’s just getting all to junk.
I’ve been falling to a hole which inside is just a dark space where darkness surrounds me, no way out, like bro i can’t do this no more.
it’s all bullsh*t. i don’t know what’s wrong with me, i don’t know what’s gotten into me but i just feel so different and more worse man.
okay that’s all I’m gonna write
might come back ig lmao.
If I was taught how to help another man with feeling somewhat similar to mine I promise would
A raw beautiful piece of music. Like listening to the cosmic heartbeat of the universe.
i can’t get over how much this sounds like C418’s Excuse
Yeah, it actually does. 9/10
@@moodstorm7 lmao hi again
@@parakodraws hello 👋
Almost a year now, and i think about you every day Big Roobs.
the fact that even Kendall Jenner can recognize the greatness of this piece should speak volumes about this man's talent
I'm not one to repeat songs but I've been doing it constantly for this one. It takes me to such a familiar place but also gives me something new every time. When I play this, my life just stops and I'm there and there's nothing else. Thank you RDJ.
medium.com/@metalex9/generating-more-of-my-favorite-aphex-twin-track-cde9b7ecda3a