This story is really sad. I hope the little girl, husband and his family are doing well. I definitely feel like someone mistreated her when she was young, she was frightened of them finding her. Just because there's no evidence of it doesn't mean it didn't happen. Especially given the fact she didn't collect over 80 grand
Yes, it raises so many questions about why someone would do this; either she was actually afraid of someone or she was extremely paranoid without cause. The fact that her parents/relatives did not try to contact her when she left for good at only 18 might say something significant about them; they may have understood why she left and if her father's behavior was the cause of her leaving, it makes sense that she did not want money she could have inherited from him. How would she have known the money was coming, anyway? If she knew, it would have blown her cover I'm sure her sister was more than happy to sit and wait
@@gigi9301 very valid point about the father. Because her parents divorced though, i thought it may have been the stepfather, but i don't want to speculate too much. It's a really sad story, i wish she could have gotten the help she needed, instead of trying to navigate the world on her own at 18.
Why hide from her friends, mistreating doesn't make sense and it isn't the catalyst for all forms of evasive or erratic behaviour. She just as easily could of had schizophrenic symptoms.
@@NoNameNomad.... You can't just assume a man is evil because he is a man, when there is zero evidence. That's just as bad as saying I bet the mother manipulated the child into paranoia because women do that sometimes....
This is profoundly sad. Something in her childhood must’ve driven her to walk away from her whole family. Just the fact that people who knew her called her “forgettable” is heartbreaking. She must’ve learned that and decided to protect her mental health by just walking away from what little connections she had.
I don’t think she protected her mental health. I think she thought changing her identity would change her into a better person and give her a better life, but in reality it made her more paranoid. Instead, she went deeper into mental illness.
something obviously caused her to seriously withdraw, something that to her was traumatic. She decided that being with anyone was too uncomfortable. I am surprised that she met a man and got married though.
She was only 19 when she obtained Becky Sue’s birth certificate. That is a very sophisticated technique for someone so young, especially in 1988 when you couldn’t just Google, “How to steal someone’s identity.” I am her age, but I would never have known how to do that back then
I am thinking of legally changing my name when I am out of my current situation. It has certainly never crossed my mind to steal somebody's identity, whether that person is deceased or still alive. In my opinion, I feel that this is a very drastic thing to do and goes to show her desperation to get away.
She might have used a so called identity broker. I see quite a few acts regarding the identity change that point towards having sophisticated knowledge: the birth certificate with out of state death, changing name before obtaining SS number...back then it wasn't that hard to change identity if you knew what to do. She probably got help for that
I totally get her because I also walked away from family years ago but I chose to share my contact info with only one of them. They do know where I am but they know not to contact me in any way, shape or form. I felt mis-understood, unappreciated, mistreated and bullied all my life so I chose to stay away from those who interfere with my peace. BTW, I have always struggled with mental health issues but I'm doing a little better now with medications.
After a teenaged pregnancy and some miscommunication of feelings my daughter walked away with my grandson. I miss her desperately. She had the best laugh. I miss every single thing about them. It will be my dying wish to see her again. It's been 12 years.
That must be very painful & 12 years is incredibly long to miss out on all that time. I'm so sorry you've gone through that. I hope one day, she changes her mind or your grandson wonders & wants to meet you..
I remember those days when it was easy to get a job without someone checking your paperwork. When I was 15 years old back in 1985 I lied about my age to get my first job at a McDonald’s. If I recall correctly, I only provided my SSN. No picture ID required. My parents had bought a car for me to learn how to drive and I had to pay them back. I was determined to pay them back ASAP and have gas money for when I turned 16. No one ever checked my age. It’s so hard to believe that things were so different back then. This was a strange and sad story. I feel awful for the daughter.
My friend did the same thing in Michigan in 1985. We were both 15, too. She got a job at Hardee’s. It didn’t last too long because they did find out her age from her paperwork and fired her over it. She wasn’t 16 like she told them and they didn’t hire below 16. I had another couple of friends that were paid under the table back then when they were 15 at a restaurant. All the other employees there were paid legally with taxes taken out, my friends told me.
Fellow Gen X here, Libra. Indeed, we grew up in a very, very different time. Although I appreciate the Internet and the historically unprecedented access to information it provides us, in my deepest heart, I miss the 70s and 80s. I agree that this story is very sad. She didn’t seem evil. If only she could have overcome her paranoia.
If I understood the story correctly, she had 4 names. So that would be 2 noids x 2. Double paranoids. 😘 She could have used a good, friendly girlfriend. Or a pet. I’m only speculating, maybe she was missing some love component in her early years, that she was never able to rectify. Kinda sad.
yeah, not to use an overused phrase, but that was a red flag for me. you don't describe a person as "forgettable" and you show concern when a loved one runs away. i wonder if she was hoping they'd be sad and ask her to stay.
That is a very tragic story. Divorce can be excruciatingly painful. The reason she found it unbearable is because she didn’t have family and friends to help support her. Her husband and daughter were everything. She probably thought of his family as competition for their affection
Read the book "The Woman in the Strongbox" by Maureen O'Hagan. She was so intrigued by Lori/Kimberly that she researched and wrote a book about her. Her childhood was pretty tragic and it didn't help that her in-laws were nosy people (however, I can't blame them as they were only looking out for their son/brother).
Yeah I dunno, I always thought he was amazing. But then I failed out of medical school because I refused to diagnose anyone, and would only speculate about what COULD be happening in a situation LIKE this. Dr. Grande led me astray.
It’s Crystal clear to me that Kimberly suffered severe trauma as a child - that caused her to mistrust everyone and everything. That’s why she didn’t want any thing that the family offered including money and that’s why she changed her identity. She was trying to escape from her pain. She wouldn’t be the first person who was viewed suspiciously by in-laws.😂 She knew it was very unlikely that anyone would understand or be on her side.
Exactly. _Something_ happened for her to walk away like that. People don't generally walk away from happy and supportive families, never to return. I suspect that there are secrets being kept within her birth family that no one will speak about.
I think she felt that her trauma was nobody's business. She loved her husband and child. I wish they would have been left alone to just love each other and raise their child together. 😢
The thing is that maltreatment of a member(s) of a family unit was very often not reported (especially back in those days) - therefore, there was no evidence (record) of maltreatment. The only time the evidence presented itself was when Law Enforcement or CPS (or their equivalent back then) became involved and there was a death and/or hospitalization related to that maltreatment. In those days, if LEO or CPS became involved, authorities always believed the Parent unless there were obvious and significant signs of maltreatment and/or neglect - this I know from personal experience. People don't usually walk away from family never to return unless _something_ has happened, and that something may have been at the root of her effort to stay hidden, as well as her mental/emotional issues.
I completely get where you're coming from. However, as a person that has suffered severe abuse and neglect as a child, you cannot blame this in environment. Lots of people go through horrible childhoods and this doesnt happen. People have great childhoods and turn out doing awful things too. CPS should've been called so many times it was ridiculous while I grew up in the 70s and 80s. This is not typical behavior even from somebody who is severely abused. I have a laundry list of mental health disorders, including CPTSD, anxiety, and depression. I am even autistic + ADHD and I would never do something like this. In my opinion, and obviously I'm not a doctor, this is antisocial and sociopathic. Every single thing she did was done AND PLANNED to harm those that she said she loved. She wanted them to know who she really was and to be hurt by that information Otherwise she would've gotten rid of it and not killed herself by in front of her Father-in-law. Take it from somebody who has been suicidal for years at a time.... It is a dark and scary place To be. However her main purpose was to harm others, not free herself. It's never ok; i want To be clear about that. It is an illness, nonetheless. Obviously she wasn't working on her treatment, and blamed others. 😢
@@angelasanchez4413 You have made very good points - ultimately, it is up to the individual to decide to do or not to do something wrong, whether or not mental health plays a part. I do hope that in spite of your challenges that you are doing ok❤❤
@@aheimdahl5201 I have had to work on myself for 27 years; and work very very hard. However, I have found that despite my challenges, life is worth living. It is not easy most days, but there is ALWAYS something to be grateful for. There is ALWAYS someone whom has had it worse than me. I can always contribute to community somewhere 🤘🏼💕 Thank you so much for asking 😃 We are all ultimately responsible for our own path
@@aheimdahl5201 I would just add that mental health issues make some things in life uncontrollable and so the choices we all make vary depending on our mental state. A "good" person can do something "wrong" as it is too difficult for them mentally to do the "right" thing, if they even really know what the "right" thing is. We don't all really have control over our fate by our decisions. The idea that we each control ourselves and our future 100% is comforting to those capable of making usually good decisions. There is too much chaos in the universe for a person to control 100% over themselves.
The summary is based on the assumption it was her family that she was hiding from in which case the identity theft seems excessive. Setting up a plan like this and executing it takes a lot of for thought and planning, she was no spoon, why take the excessive risk when like you say, the family wasn't looking for her. I bet there was a bigger skeleton in her closet.
Ah you switched up your wording in the intro this time lol. I'm autistic and speak the entire intro with you, outloud, for every video you post. Thank you Dr. Grande!!! I hope the good doctor and the Mrs are having a great weekend!!! 🙌
i like to speak the intro too. i do it with a lot of things. steve lehto is good at doing the same intro 😂 “Welcome once again to Lehto’s Law! Here’s Steve Lehto.” gets me every time esp bc he usually uploads twice a day.
Thank you Dr Grande for your work with helping people with mental issues. My opinion is with these TH-cam videos you also help people understand others who have psychological problems. I just want to end this with I am so grateful that I have so much. These stories really do help me appreciate my life.
@@perhapsbutmaybedid someone hand out acid and tell people to watch this video? What the hell are some of these replies? Some guy talking about seeing the top of her head and then this comment which is just fucking weird. What do you even mean? He fucking likes his cactus. How would waiting until the end of the video have benefited him?
This case has fascinated me for years. I’m from the DFW area - I was born in Carrollton, and in my early 20s I would sometimes go to a town near Leonard for work. Thank you for covering this.
This is one of the most fascinating stories you have presented. It is amazing what genetic geneaology is capable of doing. Thank you for presenting this.
I dunno, this woman sounds a little like myself. There may not be any evidence of mistreatment when she was a child but you wouldn't find any with me either. That certainly wasn't the case. I'm really not liking his thought process in this one.
Projecting your own experiences & feelings onto a stranger, after hearing a pretty limited amount of backstory probably isn’t the best way to go. “There’s no evidence of childhood mistreatment, but because I went through it, I’ll assume she did too” 😬
@@isitoveryet9525 assuming she didn’t is also incorrect. There is the event of her leaving so suddenly, so I would say there is evidence of something happening more than there isn’t.
Someone in her family abused her so badly that she was terrified of being found by the abuser. She most likely told her mother or someone she thought she could trust & that person betrayed her. I hope Jessica gets the inheritance from her mom's family estate
That is pure speculation. There are many other possibilities. For instance, she may simply have been on the autism spectrum. Her social awkwardness could be evidence of ASD. She may have been a narcissist who was trying to punish her family members for not giving in to her; her willingness to commit identity theft would support that theory.
@@jamesbowman6925 Yes, that's possible. She could have had undiagnosed autism. Descriptions suggest she had difficulty with communication and interpersonal relationships and didn't feel like she belonged. Autism was very rarely diagnosed in women back then unless behaviors were fairly severe. It's possible though that she could have had ASD and been abused in some way. I guess no one will really ever know. Quite tragic.
Excellent work Dr Grande , as always. This case has always stuck with me. I can’t help but feel sympathy for her. She seemed so sad and lonely. I wish she could have expressed how she was feeling…. What was going on in her mind. It seemed like she wanted more than anything to have a family. The fact she didn’t even collect her inheritance speaks volumes about how badly she wanted to stay hidden.
How would you know whether she’s suffered emotional or physical neglect ? Or brought up in a dreadful environment if it’s not been reported, you know some of us have had childhoods that have damaged us to present day saying there is no evidence of it doesn’t mean it did not happen . I feel for her actually as I feel that she was unable to express her emotions and her feelings came out as bad behaviour and copied behaviour, she was misunderstood and never understood or felt loved .
I have to wonder if her motive had to do with the stepfather. There’s just something very, very odd about anyone just wanting to disappear like that. Perhaps she suffered from some disorder, but either way, there’s a real sadness to this story.
I suspect she either stumbled onto family shenanigans that made her fearful of retaliation if they knew she found out, perhaps witnessing something horrific, or they made her childhood unbearable. Regardless of whether or not they actively did something to her, or she thought they might do something eventually, they certainly failed her in every way possible. Not looking for your teenage child after they abruptly leave (even if that's what she told them she wanted), waiting until it was a business matter of discharging an estate, is not the action of a caring family. Even if it was 100% pure paranoid delusion, you'd think a mother would report someone grappling with serious mental problems missing.
@@weaviejeebies agreed, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to bait her into revealing her location and making it that much harder to relocate and start all over again
It’s not odd! Some people just don’t like or want to be around their family! Whether it’s due emotional,physical, substance or sexual abuse. It’s obviously one of those reasons so how is that odd? There are many messed up families out there and some people just want no part of them.
My personal opinion/speculation- I think she probably had a very traumatic childhood which led her to want to change her identity so she could feel removed from whatever happened to her, but because she didn’t deal with that trauma it lead to increasingly severe mental illness
Another great video, no surprise. This is off-topic, but Doc, if you see this comment, would you be willing to consider Bob Crane? If anything needs the Grande treatment, it's that case. Thank you either way.
I remember the headlines when Bob Crane turned up dead. I was shocked. I had watched many reruns of Hogan's Heroes after school, sometimes with my dad.
Her lies seemed to have caused her paranoia. Her husband finally felt there just wasn't something right and was probably afraid to sleep in the same house. Great story, thanks Dr G !!
I have a former friend that did something similar. After marrying for the second time she decided to cut all ties with her family and current friends, move out of the country and change her name. We met and became friends as teens and as far as I know she was not abused in her childhood, but her mother was extremely critical of her and they did not have a good relationship. While I understood her desire to get away from her mother, cutting off perfectly good friendships was just bizarre to me. Idk.
One of my favorite shirts looks great against the dark background curtain. The quick glimpses of your closet are so fun! We need a 400,000 over a million special video with wife and puppies! ( always interested in everything Grande!)
He asked for opinions and thoughts about the video to generate dialogue. The only dialogue you're going to create is people saying they like the dude. Did you even watch the video
@@perhapsbutmaybe In addition to creating interesting dialogue, the purpose of commenting is to show engagement so that the TH-cam algorithm will recommend it to others! I love to support channels that I am grateful for.
Admittedly, a very, very sad case; however, the outcome could have been far different with her fractured ability to cope with life. Instead of turning the gun on herself, she could have easily turned it on others.
Something traumatic happened to this woman during her childhood/teen years. She distanced herself from family and considers them all deceased. I wonder what they did to her? Or perhaps, what she found out about them. I hope she’s at peace now.
sorry but No she clearly feared for her life and well being if she took such measures to separate from her biological family. why would her abuse, if any, be documented? how can you sincerely blame her mental health (something which does not exist in a vacuum) for her evasive, defensive behavior. most mentally ill people do not have the wherewithal, the premeditation to deliberately steal someone's identity and travel cross country in order to conceal themselves
She must have had a bad experience with her father at a young age and it compelled her to leave early and sever all contact. It even explains why she didn’t want the inheritance; it came from him.
Hard to feel sorry for someone so duplicitous. She was fixated on the grandparents when what she really needed was someone to slap her back into reality.
Her sister is the person I'd try to talk to, assuming that she would want to. Maybe her daughter would like to, or maybe it's a case of ' let sleeping dogs lie '
this is a 'paper trip' look it up Dr Grande 'the paper trip' it's a book on how to steal an identity to disappear that used to be sold out of the backs of magazines
This case is so interesting to me have followed it from back in 2015. When I heard the story from back then , the only reason they found out she wasn't who she said she was, because the parents called about getting her daughter her social security benefits. This has always been the saddest story.
That's interesting. So Lori's inlaws wanted to trace her true identity so they could collect benefits? That's revolting. I wondered why they went to so much trouble to contact friends in govt in D.C.. Good grief. They tormented her in life. In death, they just wanted a pay out.
Strangest case ever from Dr. Grande. Apparently this woman wanted to be so alone that she was willing to do anything to make sure no one knew her. In the end she still chose to be alone. This reminds me of "No man is an island"...no woman is either.
I was born in Longview and lived about 30 miles away most of my life. It's not a very eventful town, surprised to hear a story from there on the channel.
I wonder what could have happened in the relationship with her father that caused her to be standoffish at school, distrusting of family connections, reject free money when he died and change her name to prevent her being found if looked for. As well as being over protective of relationships her daughter had opportunity for. They point to 1 likely thing in my opinion.
Her Dad is the person she would go to when she ran away from her mother & stepdad. Her Dad is the only person who had her last contact info. This was revealed in his will. He died a year after she left Philly for good. She changed identity AFTER his death. She loved her Dad.
Been with Dr Grande from the start! On his patreon and reading his books!! ❤ it's crazy how fast this channel grew!! Dr. Grande, please consider a speculation of Boss Man Jack. I think you'll find it funny.❤
I think this is your BEST Hawaiian shirt, Dr Grande! Maybe add a little something to your desk to increase the ambiance -- like a pineapple with a little paper umbrella in it, or a ukelele? 🤔 Some Ray Ban (or Maui Jim) sunglasses would be awesome too! 😎
I would say between the time leading up to her leaving her family and changing her identity something sinister took place and that something has probably never been reported though time will tell.
That seems possible. That could explain her difficulties dealing with everyday social situations. Another explanation could be a cluster A type personality disorder. Schizofrenia seems less likely, it would manifest in less subtle ways.
I would find it interesting if As a psychologist, you provide a presumptive diagnosis , with the appropriate disclaimer For example-‘ Schizoaffective disorder, paranoid type. Or other s, rather than just recapping the symptoms
Wow! In one year (1988-1989) she grew 4" (ID license lists height at 5' 6", TX one at 5' 10"), at alleged age 19! What a late growth spurt!! Also interesting that TX license does not list date of issuance on front -- maybe on the back? Anyone know what was in the other letter? Dr. Grande doesn't mention anything about it, maybe because it was kept private?
Someone with mental health issues like this could easily have turned this into a murder/suicide. In fact it's probably just pure luck (and very sad) that in the end she only took her own life, and left he in-laws to live, considering she blamed them for her failed marriage.
Maybe her parents were abusive and narcissistic and she'd rather say they had passed instead of that they were estranged? And changed her name so her parents could no longer find her and hurt her? And maybe she ended things as she did so there was no question how or where she passed and so the letters were in a way delivered by her. How tragic to go that way. She must have been in so much pain to want to end things in a such a horrible way. Her poor daughter has to live with knowing that whole scene happened right outside the house they were staying in. Tragic story.
It’s not odd for someone to disconnect from their family. Where do you all live? The Land of Make Believe? Some people just don’t like or want to be around their family! Whether it’s due emotional, physical, substance or sexual abuse. It’s obviously one of those reasons she chose to change her entire life, so how is that odd? There are many messed up families out there and some people just want no part of them. She also seemed to have some type of personality disorder as well.
But, folks, listen to what Dr grande says about her personality traits. Like the passive aggressive way she killed herself. And the way she treated her daughter, even after all she did to birth her. Yes, a severe child abuse survivor might try to disappear from their abusive family. But, also, they don’t want to have children of their own. Unless, she was doing it desperately to keep her husband. Sounds borderline personality and manipulative to me. She gets little sympathy from me mistreating her own child.
*When family came to visit she went off to nap* she was probably exhausted and hoped they would take her kid and give her a break but instead they whined about her not being their servant and entertainment. If you are visiting a mom with a young kid then be prepared to help and understand that she's probably physically and mentally exhausted or dont visit at all. She married into a selfish and entitled family.
👋 Hi Dr. Grande. Thank you for another good video. It always ends well with your clear analysis of the people's lives. I hope the best for all , ✌️ ☮️ 🕊, Miss Janine 🆒️ ♏️🛝🌊💎🧸
One thing this case really underscores is how it was way, way easier to commit this kind of long term identity fraud a few decades ago, prior to digital records
Why are everybody so adamant about finding out "the truth" about someone else. Family dynamics are so toxic. What does it matter where someone graduated high school? I transcribe depositions as a living and I always wonder why they ask that question. Why does it matter? Lori did nothing wrong. Identity is not set in stone or chosen for you by your parents, circumstances or otherwise. Maybe she just had bad memories of her childhood. Maybe she didn't like her name. We only have one life. Imagine spending it with a name you dislike or that is tied to trauma. Which millions of people do due to societal norms. Anyone can choose who they are. Let people be. Mind your own business.
"During family gatherings Lori would go and take a nap"
I think we've all been there.
😂
Omg yes! Many times.😂 I announce it “ You exhaust me I am going to nap!”
Truth😆
I can totally relate. I had inlaws from he!!, too. I used to take refuge in the bathroom!
Family members do this all the time......😅
Walking away and taking a nap is sometimes the only way to get through a family gathering 😂
Just because you’re paranoid, doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.
😂😂
Life is just too hard for some of us
This story is really sad. I hope the little girl, husband and his family are doing well.
I definitely feel like someone mistreated her when she was young, she was frightened of them finding her. Just because there's no evidence of it doesn't mean it didn't happen.
Especially given the fact she didn't collect over 80 grand
Yes, it raises so many questions about why someone would do this; either she was actually afraid of someone or she was extremely paranoid without cause. The fact that her parents/relatives did not try to contact her when she left for good at only 18 might say something significant about them; they may have understood why she left and if her father's behavior was the cause of her leaving, it makes sense that she did not want money she could have inherited from him.
How would she have known the money was coming, anyway? If she knew, it would have blown her cover I'm sure her sister was more than happy to sit and wait
@@gigi9301 very valid point about the father. Because her parents divorced though, i thought it may have been the stepfather, but i don't want to speculate too much.
It's a really sad story, i wish she could have gotten the help she needed, instead of trying to navigate the world on her own at 18.
Why hide from her friends, mistreating doesn't make sense and it isn't the catalyst for all forms of evasive or erratic behaviour. She just as easily could of had schizophrenic symptoms.
@@NoNameNomad.... You can't just assume a man is evil because he is a man, when there is zero evidence. That's just as bad as saying I bet the mother manipulated the child into paranoia because women do that sometimes....
@@kingcosworth2643, I agree with you, a schizophrenic woman.
This is profoundly sad. Something in her childhood must’ve driven her to walk away from her whole family. Just the fact that people who knew her called her “forgettable” is heartbreaking. She must’ve learned that and decided to protect her mental health by just walking away from what little connections she had.
I seen the top of her head
@@dajoker8998profound.
I don’t think she protected her mental health. I think she thought changing her identity would change her into a better person and give her a better life, but in reality it made her more paranoid. Instead, she went deeper into mental illness.
@@dajoker8998 congratulations for failing at passing off a joke from a crappy movie as your own.
something obviously caused her to seriously withdraw, something that to her was traumatic. She decided that being with anyone was too uncomfortable. I am surprised that she met a man and got married though.
She was only 19 when she obtained Becky Sue’s birth certificate. That is a very sophisticated technique for someone so young, especially in 1988 when you couldn’t just Google, “How to steal someone’s identity.” I am her age, but I would never have known how to do that back then
Government agent?
I am thinking of legally changing my name when I am out of my current situation. It has certainly never crossed my mind to steal somebody's identity, whether that person is deceased or still alive. In my opinion, I feel that this is a very drastic thing to do and goes to show her desperation to get away.
There were , and probably still are, several underground pamphlets on changing identity... advertised in underground newsletters.
She might have used a so called identity broker. I see quite a few acts regarding the identity change that point towards having sophisticated knowledge: the birth certificate with out of state death, changing name before obtaining SS number...back then it wasn't that hard to change identity if you knew what to do. She probably got help for that
The impressive part is that she had to have found a dead person's identity to be able to get the birth certificate in the first place.
Man, she's extreme yet so relatable to me. I often think that I would be better off as a recluse in the woods rather than a mother with in-laws.
She seemed like such a sad and lonely woman. What a tragic story.
I agree 😢
Dr Grande seems to be introverted but his shirts are definitely extroverted. Love your choice of attire.
Obviously, she was a very disturbed individual. She wasn't trying to run from others, she was trying to run from herself.
Very sad story. Makes us realize how lucky we are if we don’t have to contend with such circumstances and tragedy in our lives.
I totally get her because I also walked away from family years ago but I chose to share my contact info with only one of them. They do know where I am but they know not to contact me in any way, shape or form. I felt mis-understood, unappreciated, mistreated and bullied all my life so I chose to stay away from those who interfere with my peace. BTW, I have always struggled with mental health issues but I'm doing a little better now with medications.
Dang, I hope you’re doing okay. For real.
Bless you ❤
After a teenaged pregnancy and some miscommunication of feelings my daughter walked away with my grandson. I miss her desperately. She had the best laugh. I miss every single thing about them. It will be my dying wish to see her again. It's been 12 years.
That must be very painful & 12 years is incredibly long to miss out on all that time. I'm so sorry you've gone through that. I hope one day, she changes her mind or your grandson wonders & wants to meet you..
@@mraereed i will pray for reconciliation. 🙏🏼
I remember those days when it was easy to get a job without someone checking your paperwork. When I was 15 years old back in 1985 I lied about my age to get my first job at a McDonald’s. If I recall correctly, I only provided my SSN. No picture ID required. My parents had bought a car for me to learn how to drive and I had to pay them back. I was determined to pay them back ASAP and have gas money for when I turned 16. No one ever checked my age. It’s so hard to believe that things were so different back then.
This was a strange and sad story. I feel awful for the daughter.
My friend did the same thing in Michigan in 1985. We were both 15, too. She got a job at Hardee’s. It didn’t last too long because they did find out her age from her paperwork and fired her over it. She wasn’t 16 like she told them and they didn’t hire below 16. I had another couple of friends that were paid under the table back then when they were 15 at a restaurant. All the other employees there were paid legally with taxes taken out, my friends told me.
I am surprised she even got a ssn in reverse. I would think that would be hard to do.
Fellow Gen X here, Libra. Indeed, we grew up in a very, very different time.
Although I appreciate the Internet and the historically unprecedented access to information it provides us, in my deepest heart, I miss the 70s and 80s.
I agree that this story is very sad. She didn’t seem evil. If only she could have overcome her paranoia.
Summer is almost here - Dr. Grande's Hawaiian shirts are in full bloom.
That was an excellent comment!!!
Love his shirts and home decor..they hv a beautiful home 🏡 ❤️
If I understood the story correctly, she had 4 names. So that would be 2 noids x 2. Double paranoids.
😘 She could have used a good, friendly girlfriend. Or a pet.
I’m only speculating, maybe she was missing some love component in her early years, that she was never able to rectify. Kinda sad.
And notice his thing for cactuses. They are all around him!
Dr G’s cactus is a awesome collection they have been with him forever. He constantly changes the position of the cactuses.
I feel for this girl... Something about her tragic existence resonates with me... Can't quite put a finger on it..
So sad that her original family seems to have just excepted her "im leaving dont try to find me "😢 somthing very dysfunctional there
yeah, not to use an overused phrase, but that was a red flag for me. you don't describe a person as "forgettable" and you show concern when a loved one runs away. i wonder if she was hoping they'd be sad and ask her to stay.
Most likely they knew her strange behaviour and just accepted that she wanted to leave.
@@mini_skinny0296I was a strange teenager, my dad still made an effort
That is a very tragic story. Divorce can be excruciatingly painful. The reason she found it unbearable is because she didn’t have family and friends to help support her. Her husband and daughter were everything. She probably thought of his family as competition for their affection
This only your theory your opinion
@dajoker8998 that's just about the only way you can form a theory. You are strange.
Actually studies have consistently pointed to a necessity for a strong support system. Socialization is strongly recommended for every age group
@@dajoker8998 But was it item #5 or #6? 😊
@@dajoker8998 you are a terrible troll
This adds a whole new layer to "you never know who people really are."
Her letters and her suicide prove she was a nice person, not a predator. Have some respect 😠
True, but in this case I feel like there were definitely a lot of red flags that the ex-husband ignored.
Read the book "The Woman in the Strongbox" by Maureen O'Hagan. She was so intrigued by Lori/Kimberly that she researched and wrote a book about her. Her childhood was pretty tragic and it didn't help that her in-laws were nosy people (however, I can't blame them as they were only looking out for their son/brother).
Thank you!
Thanks for the info 🙏
Thanks for the info.
I see also that Wikipedia has an article on her, under Lori Erica Ruff.
Any mention in the book about what was in the other letter? Dr. Grande doesn't mention anything about it, maybe because it was kept private?
@@jimgutt749 It was only said to be gibberish and mad ramblings. Perhaps the family wants to keep it private so that’s all they’re saying.
The ultimate introvert.
I have followed Dr Grande for years. He is truly amazing with the content he provides. 👏👏👏
I know everyday it’s insane I wait everyday and watch him while eating breakfast after gym
And hilarious.
I watched all his non-true crime videos multiple times, except of the ones about statistics.
Yeah I dunno, I always thought he was amazing. But then I failed out of medical school because I refused to diagnose anyone, and would only speculate about what COULD be happening in a situation LIKE this. Dr. Grande led me astray.
@@jackdanson2😂😂😂😅😅😅
It’s Crystal clear to me that Kimberly suffered severe trauma as a child - that caused her to mistrust everyone and everything. That’s why she didn’t want any thing that the family offered including money and that’s why she changed her identity. She was trying to escape from her pain.
She wouldn’t be the first person who was viewed suspiciously by in-laws.😂
She knew it was very unlikely that anyone would understand or be on her side.
Or maybe she killed somone
Exactly.
_Something_ happened for her to walk away like that.
People don't generally walk away from happy and supportive families, never to return.
I suspect that there are secrets being kept within her birth family that no one will speak about.
I think she felt that her trauma was nobody's business. She loved her husband and child. I wish they would have been left alone to just love each other and raise their child together. 😢
Absolutely, there were probably skeletons in that family's closet. Very sad story.
I don’t see that here.
I’m with Dr. G.
The thing is that maltreatment of a member(s) of a family unit was very often not reported (especially back in those days) - therefore, there was no evidence (record) of maltreatment.
The only time the evidence presented itself was when Law Enforcement or CPS (or their equivalent back then) became involved and there was a death and/or hospitalization related to that maltreatment.
In those days, if LEO or CPS became involved, authorities always believed the Parent unless there were obvious and significant signs of maltreatment and/or neglect - this I know from personal experience.
People don't usually walk away from family never to return unless _something_ has happened, and that something may have been at the root of her effort to stay hidden, as well as her mental/emotional issues.
I completely get where you're coming from. However, as a person that has suffered severe abuse and neglect as a child, you cannot blame this in environment. Lots of people go through horrible childhoods and this doesnt happen. People have great childhoods and turn out doing awful things too.
CPS should've been called so many times it was ridiculous while I grew up in the 70s and 80s. This is not typical behavior even from somebody who is severely abused. I have a laundry list of mental health disorders, including CPTSD, anxiety, and depression. I am even autistic + ADHD and I would never do something like this. In my opinion, and obviously I'm not a doctor, this is antisocial and sociopathic.
Every single thing she did was done AND PLANNED to harm those that she said she loved. She wanted them to know who she really was and to be hurt by that information Otherwise she would've gotten rid of it and not killed herself by in front of her Father-in-law. Take it from somebody who has been suicidal for years at a time.... It is a dark and scary place To be. However her main purpose was to harm others, not free herself. It's never ok; i want To be clear about that. It is an illness, nonetheless. Obviously she wasn't working on her treatment, and blamed others. 😢
@@angelasanchez4413 You have made very good points - ultimately, it is up to the individual to decide to do or not to do something wrong, whether or not mental health plays a part.
I do hope that in spite of your challenges that you are doing ok❤❤
@@aheimdahl5201 I have had to work on myself for 27 years; and work very very hard. However, I have found that despite my challenges, life is worth living. It is not easy most days, but there is ALWAYS something to be grateful for. There is ALWAYS someone whom has had it worse than me. I can always contribute to community somewhere 🤘🏼💕
Thank you so much for asking 😃 We are all ultimately responsible for our own path
@@aheimdahl5201 I would just add that mental health issues make some things in life uncontrollable and so the choices we all make vary depending on our mental state. A "good" person can do something "wrong" as it is too difficult for them mentally to do the "right" thing, if they even really know what the "right" thing is. We don't all really have control over our fate by our decisions. The idea that we each control ourselves and our future 100% is comforting to those capable of making usually good decisions. There is too much chaos in the universe for a person to control 100% over themselves.
I was looking for this comment. You have real empathy.
The summary is based on the assumption it was her family that she was hiding from in which case the identity theft seems excessive. Setting up a plan like this and executing it takes a lot of for thought and planning, she was no spoon, why take the excessive risk when like you say, the family wasn't looking for her. I bet there was a bigger skeleton in her closet.
I think her stepdad had something to do with it.
Ah you switched up your wording in the intro this time lol. I'm autistic and speak the entire intro with you, outloud, for every video you post. Thank you Dr. Grande!!! I hope the good doctor and the Mrs are having a great weekend!!! 🙌
That's just your theory, your opinion.
I speak the intro too, except I'm not autistic. Only theorising what it could be like being autistic in a situation like this.
i like to speak the intro too. i do it with a lot of things. steve lehto is good at doing the same intro 😂 “Welcome once again to Lehto’s Law! Here’s Steve Lehto.” gets me every time esp bc he usually uploads twice a day.
I just always respond "Hi Dr. Grande!!!" after he introduces himself Lol
Thank you Dr Grande for your work with helping people with mental issues. My opinion is with these TH-cam videos you also help people understand others who have psychological problems. I just want to end this with I am so grateful that I have so much. These stories really do help me appreciate my life.
How very sad. She really did have it rough! Thanks for posting.
I like your cactus and silly sense of humor. I started listening on road trips. My wife and father tell me to hush during your show
Hell yeah! Dr. Grande broke out da party shirt!
Yeah, I saw some cactus stuff at target and I thought of Dr. Grande
Keep the commentary till the end. Hell you didn't even watch this video before commenting.
@@perhapsbutmaybedid someone hand out acid and tell people to watch this video? What the hell are some of these replies? Some guy talking about seeing the top of her head and then this comment which is just fucking weird. What do you even mean? He fucking likes his cactus. How would waiting until the end of the video have benefited him?
@@perhapsbutmaybe since my comments get deleted. What the hell are you even talking about?
This case has fascinated me for years. I’m from the DFW area - I was born in Carrollton, and in my early 20s I would sometimes go to a town near Leonard for work. Thank you for covering this.
A woman drastically separated from herself
This is one of the most fascinating stories you have presented. It is amazing what genetic geneaology is capable of doing. Thank you for presenting this.
Your voice and manner are extremely calming. I also appreciate your droll injections of humor in your videos.
There’s no evidence she was abused except for all the evidence she was abused
Some people are born with crossed wiring, and behave in a bizarre to downright deadly manner no matter what their environment.
I dunno, this woman sounds a little like myself. There may not be any evidence of mistreatment when she was a child but you wouldn't find any with me either. That certainly wasn't the case. I'm really not liking his thought process in this one.
I agree. I feel really bad for this lady.
Projecting your own experiences & feelings onto a stranger, after hearing a pretty limited amount of backstory probably isn’t the best way to go. “There’s no evidence of childhood mistreatment, but because I went through it, I’ll assume she did too” 😬
@@isitoveryet9525 assuming she didn’t is also incorrect. There is the event of her leaving so suddenly, so I would say there is evidence of something happening more than there isn’t.
She is dead and cannot defend herself. She stole an identity, but didn't commit other crimes. RIP.
Someone in her family abused her so badly that she was terrified of being found by the abuser. She most likely told her mother or someone she thought she could trust & that person betrayed her. I hope Jessica gets the inheritance from her mom's family estate
That is pure speculation. There are many other possibilities. For instance, she may simply have been on the autism spectrum. Her social awkwardness could be evidence of ASD. She may have been a narcissist who was trying to punish her family members for not giving in to her; her willingness to commit identity theft would support that theory.
@@jamesbowman6925There's nothing wrong with speculating about a situation like this.😊
@@jamesbowman6925 Yes, that's possible. She could have had undiagnosed autism. Descriptions suggest she had difficulty with communication and interpersonal relationships and didn't feel like she belonged. Autism was very rarely diagnosed in women back then unless behaviors were fairly severe. It's possible though that she could have had ASD and been abused in some way. I guess no one will really ever know. Quite tragic.
My bf and I are still watching! Been with u for a long time! Ty for such a great channel and covering such a great variety of cases !
Really sad story…
Excellent work Dr Grande , as always.
This case has always stuck with me. I can’t help but feel sympathy for her. She seemed so sad and lonely. I wish she could have expressed how she was feeling…. What was going on in her mind. It seemed like she wanted more than anything to have a family. The fact she didn’t even collect her inheritance speaks volumes about how badly she wanted to stay hidden.
Love Dr Grande! This is a whole new way to watch true crime stories, from a psychological viewpoint
How would you know whether she’s suffered emotional or physical neglect ? Or brought up in a dreadful environment if it’s not been reported, you know some of us have had childhoods that have damaged us to present day saying there is no evidence of it doesn’t mean it did not happen . I feel for her actually as I feel that she was unable to express her emotions and her feelings came out as bad behaviour and copied behaviour, she was misunderstood and never understood or felt loved .
I have to wonder if her motive had to do with the stepfather. There’s just something very, very odd about anyone just wanting to disappear like that.
Perhaps she suffered from some disorder, but either way, there’s a real sadness to this story.
I agree.
I suspect she either stumbled onto family shenanigans that made her fearful of retaliation if they knew she found out, perhaps witnessing something horrific, or they made her childhood unbearable. Regardless of whether or not they actively did something to her, or she thought they might do something eventually, they certainly failed her in every way possible. Not looking for your teenage child after they abruptly leave (even if that's what she told them she wanted), waiting until it was a business matter of discharging an estate, is not the action of a caring family. Even if it was 100% pure paranoid delusion, you'd think a mother would report someone grappling with serious mental problems missing.
@@weaviejeebies agreed, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to bait her into revealing her location and making it that much harder to relocate and start all over again
It’s not odd! Some people just don’t like or want to be around their family! Whether it’s due emotional,physical, substance or sexual abuse. It’s obviously one of those reasons so how is that odd? There are many messed up families out there and some people just want no part of them.
My personal opinion/speculation-
I think she probably had a very traumatic childhood which led her to want to change her identity so she could feel removed from whatever happened to her, but because she didn’t deal with that trauma it lead to increasingly severe mental illness
Another great video, no surprise. This is off-topic, but Doc, if you see this comment, would you be willing to consider Bob Crane? If anything needs the Grande treatment, it's that case. Thank you either way.
I remember the headlines when Bob Crane turned up dead.
I was shocked.
I had watched many reruns of Hogan's Heroes after school, sometimes with my dad.
Her lies seemed to have caused her paranoia. Her husband finally felt there just wasn't something right and was probably afraid to sleep in the same house. Great story, thanks Dr G !!
I live in the next small town over from Leonard TX and none of us locals ever heard about this case.
Excellent analysis. The absence of a financial motive for the identity theft is bizarre.
I love how Dr. Grande is posting videos every day
I have a former friend that did something similar. After marrying for the second time she decided to cut all ties with her family and current friends, move out of the country and change her name. We met and became friends as teens and as far as I know she was not abused in her childhood, but her mother was extremely critical of her and they did not have a good relationship. While I understood her desire to get away from her mother, cutting off perfectly good friendships was just bizarre to me. Idk.
One of my favorite shirts looks great against the dark background curtain. The quick glimpses of your closet are so fun! We need a 400,000 over a million special video with wife and puppies! ( always interested in everything Grande!)
Thanks!
When Sir Grande asks me to leave a comment I will! Read your book years ago and loved it! I appreciate you, helps my work go by much quicker.
He asked for opinions and thoughts about the video to generate dialogue. The only dialogue you're going to create is people saying they like the dude. Did you even watch the video
@@perhapsbutmaybe In addition to creating interesting dialogue, the purpose of commenting is to show engagement so that the TH-cam algorithm will recommend it to others! I love to support channels that I am grateful for.
Dont be weird
Admittedly, a very, very sad case; however, the outcome could have been far different with her fractured ability to cope with life. Instead of turning the gun on herself, she could have easily turned it on others.
Something traumatic happened to this woman during her childhood/teen years. She distanced herself from family and considers them all deceased. I wonder what they did to her? Or perhaps, what she found out about them. I hope she’s at peace now.
The like buttons are immediately pressed, upon clicking on your videos, Dr.Grande. Thank you!
I do that too so I don’t forget. I like the length of his videos and his calming voice. This case was very odd, right up my alley
I do too.
@Dm_DrGrande nope, spam
i do that with all videos that i start. if something changes my mind (like cursing God). i then change it to thumbs down and stop watching it.
Only you could sort a situation like this ..
Ty Dr Grande❤
sorry but No
she clearly feared for her life and well being if she took such measures to separate from her biological family. why would her abuse, if any, be documented? how can you sincerely blame her mental health (something which does not exist in a vacuum) for her evasive, defensive behavior. most mentally ill people do not have the wherewithal, the premeditation to deliberately steal someone's identity and travel cross country in order to conceal themselves
I’m surprised no one has come forward now to say they used to know her
Her family of origin was found through research & DNA. The full story is told in the short story, "The Woman in the Strongbox".
Absolutely fascinating Dr G, love learning about cases like this. Very sad story.
Love the shirt today 😍 and, of course, thank you for delivering another interesting analysis of real life stories! 🙏😊
Love the "clothing challenged" quip😁Another strange person & case with a great analysis. Thanks Dr G😊💜💜
She must have had a bad experience with her father at a young age and it compelled her to leave early and sever all contact. It even explains why she didn’t want the inheritance; it came from him.
I would take every penny from the family members who abused me, but I get your point.
@@valkyriehutton4556Totally get it.
She loved her Dad. He's the only person who had her contact info. She only disappeared for good after his death.
The person Lori did not get along with was her stepdad & her mother.
The comments on Dr Grande videos never disappoint. he has managed to attract such a strange demographic
Hard to feel sorry for someone so duplicitous. She was fixated on the grandparents when what she really needed was someone to slap her back into reality.
Wow. What a sad story! It sounds like she might have had a personality disorder. Perhaps on top of abuse.
Sounds like BPD. I have it and relate
Her sister is the person I'd try to talk to, assuming that she would want to.
Maybe her daughter would like to, or maybe it's a case of ' let sleeping dogs lie '
Lori's mother and only bio sister are pretty tight-lipped.
Her daughter was just 2 when her mother died. And she's still a minor.
Man, this one bamboozled me.
This was a interesting one, and still good questions to wonder about. Thanks. 🎉
this is a 'paper trip' look it up Dr Grande 'the paper trip' it's a book on how to steal an identity to disappear that used to be sold out of the backs of magazines
This case is so interesting to me have followed it from back in 2015. When I heard the story from back then , the only reason they found out she wasn't who she said she was, because the parents called about getting her daughter her social security benefits. This has always been the saddest story.
That's interesting. So Lori's inlaws wanted to trace her true identity so they could collect benefits? That's revolting. I wondered why they went to so much trouble to contact friends in govt in D.C.. Good grief.
They tormented her in life. In death, they just wanted a pay out.
Strangest case ever from Dr. Grande. Apparently this woman wanted to be so alone that she was willing to do anything to make sure no one knew her. In the end she still chose to be alone. This reminds me of "No man is an island"...no woman is either.
Dr. Grande you said my hometown name!! I grew up in Longview, Texas and all my family still lives there.
I was born in Longview and lived about 30 miles away most of my life. It's not a very eventful town, surprised to hear a story from there on the channel.
I wonder what could have happened in the relationship with her father that caused her to be standoffish at school, distrusting of family connections, reject free money when he died and change her name to prevent her being found if looked for. As well as being over protective of relationships her daughter had opportunity for. They point to 1 likely thing in my opinion.
Her Dad is the person she would go to when she ran away from her mother & stepdad. Her Dad is the only person who had her last contact info. This was revealed in his will. He died a year after she left Philly for good. She changed identity AFTER his death. She loved her Dad.
What did she say in her letter to her daughter? Surely law enforcement wasn't required to abide by the stipulation that it not be opened...?
Happy to see Dr Grande!❤ with a head for business and a shirt for fun...EVEN though I KNOW that something bad always happens..😚
Been with Dr Grande from the start! On his patreon and reading his books!! ❤ it's crazy how fast this channel grew!!
Dr. Grande, please consider a speculation of Boss Man Jack. I think you'll find it funny.❤
This one was a wild ride, I’d never heard of this case before!
I think this is your BEST Hawaiian shirt, Dr Grande! Maybe add a little something to your desk to increase the ambiance -- like a pineapple with a little paper umbrella in it,
or a ukelele? 🤔
Some Ray Ban (or Maui Jim) sunglasses would be awesome too! 😎
Since the Coleen Ballinger incident, a TH-camr would be more likely to call their first born child Karen than have a ukelele in their video.
I would say between the time leading up to her leaving her family and changing her identity something sinister took place and that something has probably never been reported though time will tell.
Love the shirt, Dr. GRANDE
Interesting case. Nice shirt, Dr. Grande !
I wonder if Lori would have been considered to be on the autism spectrum.
That was the first thing that came to my mind.
yup. perhaps not that, but she was a very odd, come, disturbed person.
That seems possible. That could explain her difficulties dealing with everyday social situations. Another explanation could be a cluster A type personality disorder. Schizofrenia seems less likely, it would manifest in less subtle ways.
Autism would not explain her last talkative weeks.
@@cesarincamendozaloyola4407 You think folks with autism are not chatty? That's not true at all!
I would find it interesting if As a psychologist, you provide a presumptive diagnosis , with the appropriate disclaimer For example-‘ Schizoaffective disorder, paranoid type.
Or other s, rather than just recapping the symptoms
Great video Doc. What a weird mystery.
Excellent video
DEPRESSION
Wow! In one year (1988-1989) she grew 4" (ID license lists height at 5' 6", TX one at 5' 10"), at alleged age 19! What a late growth spurt!!
Also interesting that TX license does not list date of issuance on front -- maybe on the back?
Anyone know what was in the other letter? Dr. Grande doesn't mention anything about it, maybe because it was kept private?
Someone with mental health issues like this could easily have turned this into a murder/suicide. In fact it's probably just pure luck (and very sad) that in the end she only took her own life, and left he in-laws to live, considering she blamed them for her failed marriage.
Nice shirt, Dr Grande!
This is one of the most bizarre cases of this sort of thing happening.
Maybe her parents were abusive and narcissistic and she'd rather say they had passed instead of that they were estranged? And changed her name so her parents could no longer find her and hurt her? And maybe she ended things as she did so there was no question how or where she passed and so the letters were in a way delivered by her. How tragic to go that way. She must have been in so much pain to want to end things in a such a horrible way. Her poor daughter has to live with knowing that whole scene happened right outside the house they were staying in. Tragic story.
Exactly. My parents are abusive narcissists and I've thought about telling people the same thing
Great shirt Dr. Grande!
Poor Lady .May she rest in peace
It’s not odd for someone to disconnect from their family. Where do you all live? The Land of Make Believe? Some people just don’t like or want to be around their family! Whether it’s due emotional, physical, substance or sexual abuse. It’s obviously one of those reasons she chose to change her entire life, so how is that odd? There are many messed up families out there and some people just want no part of them.
She also seemed to have some type of personality disorder as well.
But, folks, listen to what Dr grande says about her personality traits. Like the passive aggressive way she killed herself. And the way she treated her daughter, even after all she did to birth her. Yes, a severe child abuse survivor might try to disappear from their abusive family. But, also, they don’t want to have children of their own. Unless, she was doing it desperately to keep her husband. Sounds borderline personality and manipulative to me. She gets little sympathy from me mistreating her own child.
Appreciate your videos.
*When family came to visit she went off to nap* she was probably exhausted and hoped they would take her kid and give her a break but instead they whined about her not being their servant and entertainment. If you are visiting a mom with a young kid then be prepared to help and understand that she's probably physically and mentally exhausted or dont visit at all. She married into a selfish and entitled family.
I agree. Her inlaws had to be rather stressful for a sweet, quiet person who just wanted to be left alone.
👋 Hi Dr. Grande. Thank you for another good video. It always ends well with your clear analysis of the people's lives. I hope the best for all , ✌️ ☮️ 🕊, Miss Janine 🆒️ ♏️🛝🌊💎🧸
One thing this case really underscores is how it was way, way easier to commit this kind of long term identity fraud a few decades ago, prior to digital records
Why are everybody so adamant about finding out "the truth" about someone else. Family dynamics are so toxic. What does it matter where someone graduated high school? I transcribe depositions as a living and I always wonder why they ask that question. Why does it matter? Lori did nothing wrong. Identity is not set in stone or chosen for you by your parents, circumstances or otherwise. Maybe she just had bad memories of her childhood. Maybe she didn't like her name. We only have one life. Imagine spending it with a name you dislike or that is tied to trauma. Which millions of people do due to societal norms. Anyone can choose who they are. Let people be. Mind your own business.