the pressure to get well...get back to work..etc to meet friends etc money worries as well as all the mental physical issues ....it can be too much to bear
For me, one of the most devastating things about Complex PTSD - where trauma goes on for years and years while the brain is still growing - is the overpowering sense of hopelessness, learned helplessness, and little to no inner reward system. These things become built in. It feels almost impossible to overcome.
I’m living in that spot right now. As a kid trauma as an adult, and not having a community that I’ve tried to build over the last decade, actually fundamentally change my daily Life means that I feel very overwhelmed and hopeless right now, looking into the future.
This is so relevant and incredibly frustrating. I was getting back on track from the lowest place, been in therapy for awhile, working so hard to improve my life and mental health, and improve as efficiently as possible. Only to suddenly get depersonalization. My brain is breaking from the stress. And now I learned I’m going to be out of a job. I was so close to getting it together and it’s all falling apart again. So difficult to be patient when it feels like everything just collapses as it’s getting better. I wanted to finally start dating again and build my future. Now it feels like I can’t quite do that.
Wanted to let you know that your video on turning around negative self talk was very helpful to me. I am more consistently coaching myself better and being kinder to myself. I was awful to myself for probably 18 months and I feel like I am finally turning the corner.
@@DrScottEilers It's definitely taken time but I feel like things are turning around. Just like this video said I'm trying to be patient and remind myself that things are changing.
If all he mentioned was sleep each time, he would be right. You got to get the sleep down, The many bad decisions I made on 4 hours of sleep is endless.😮, then exercise 🏋️♂️ and eating good food. These 3 have kept my depression at bay.❤👍
Thank you. I’ve been watching most of your videos and this one is by far, the best. I’ve been told to cheer up, to leave it with God, etc. Being a Christian has made the last statement difficult because I know it takes much more than that. Major depressive disorder isn’t something I can merely “bounce back from.” Those who haven’t been where I am have no clue. Pretending they do is unacceptable. So thank you again. I didn’t intend this to be so long.
I've been depressed and in therapy for my entire adult life. I've been trying to make positive changes for 20 years. Nothing has helped. I've stuck with things for years and never had any improvement. I don't have any patience left.
@@mel3256that sounds like a bad advice but that actually helps at least a bit. Not in a sense of "do things for others even though you had plans for yourself or even though you don't want to" but it's the "focus more on others" .. like trying (im not sure yet if forcing this works long term) to be more interested in others, ask how their doing, don't compare it with yourself, just be happy for others. This helps me to be more social and to actually draw a bit energy from it while used to be really energy draining. I really have to focus on it though:D like active listening and stuff like that. And Helping others, then I at least have an argument about why I am at least a bit valuable.. unfortunately the Argument "im human so im valuable simply by being alive" doesn't count for me, it counts for others, others don't have to contribute to society in order for me to see value in them, but for myself... idk how to change that it's so deeply engrained:D
That thing you said about healthy things raising the average, but there still being swings, that's very close to how I have experienced it. I have had a tendency to go down into some dark places from time to time. But through the last decade or so I have been exercising pretty regularly. And one, I noticed that since I started doing that, the depths that I went to were not quite as deep; and two, if I take a break from the exercise for a couple of weeks to a month, I pretty quickly feel my mental health declining. So while exercise for me is not a 'fix', I do feel good doing it, and I do feel good afterward, and it does level me out quite a bit. So I can only recommend. The way I found to stick with it was to make it a social obligation with other people. That way, I'm not only going for myself, I'm also going to meet other people's expectations. That gets me out the door.
I am a HUGE believer in doing very concrete, practical things to help with depression/anxiety before running for the pills. Exercise most definitely being one of them! And when you combine it with being outdoors, it is incredible. I also notice a dip in my mood if I slack off for 2 or more weeks --- like now. It's in the single digits here in CT.
Wow how is it that exactly what I need comes to me exactly when I need it. Many many thanks from an American in the Netherlands. Thank you so much for your willingness to share your insights.. full of gratitude. Committed to slow and steady wins the race because... Well it's not a race!
I like what you said, it is not a race. From my POV, it is a journey and slow and steady is the way to continue on the journey for the long haul and not burn out.
This is gold! Pick a few things and stick with them, consistently, and for a good amount of time, to see results. So simple, but a challenge to do. I'm one of those people who jump ship when something isn't working fast enough, and I end up with no real progress or worse off than I was before. I think you said in another video that people who say that they have tried everything and nothing works are those who never stick with something long enough for it to work. And, that the things that work are the simple things people have been touting for ages, i.e. sleep, good nutrition, exercise, etc. I'm finally coming around to accepting this (there are no magic bullets, and I don't have to reinvent the wheel!). My picks are mindfulness, sleep, exercise, nutrition, and keeping my living space tidy. Starting with small steps and changes that fit me first and committing to consistency over the long haul. The key is patience with yourself and the process. Spot on, Dr. Scott! Your videos are so helpful! Thank you!!
This is not really on the topic of this video, but I just wanted to say that your videos have been really helpful. The fact that you have both theoretical and personal experience and that you know how to really combine them is so good. It feels like almost every video actually gives me some new perspectives on things. I did also want to sneakily make a suggestion for a topic. The one thing I haven‘t seen you talk about a lot, but that I think is by far the most important factor for mental health recovery and just growing as a person in general, is to find and *build* a community of people that accompany you on your journey. With community I mean more than a friend group. I mean a larger space of people that you move in that gives you a safety net and that your friendships live in. A community that is unified by their struggles in live and their fight against them. Also if you make some personal mental health progress, the best way to secure that progress is to engrain it into that community. When you have such a community you will notice how your own progress is helping other people and even better how together you can turn this fight you share into a power that you really did not think was ever possible. That was a lot longer than I wanted it to be, but I‘d be really interested in your thoughts on this topic. Edit: What makes this so sad, is that I believe humans are fundamentally made for such a space, but that our modern (capitalist) society makes such communities extremely rare.
@ I‘m sorry to tell you, but you live in a world and maybe just maybe the fact that almost everyone has mental health issues should actually have some political implications. The way we feel is not just human nature and mental illness is not just genetics. Capitalism has provably eliminated 3rd places (something like a community center or a park where you regularily meet new and old people, that is not your home and not your workspace or school) almost completely. And that changes how you feel. People sitting in their rooms all day and developing depression is not just their fault. It is also not just a law of nature that some people just have a life that sucks. There are always societal reasons for someones struggle and so the fight against them has to be societal, i.e. political, to some degree. You rejecting the political aspects of mental health is frankly invalidating invalidating everyone whose mental health issues are actually grounded in reality. And the thing is, they always are. I‘m sorry for getting a bit angry, but the sentiment that mental health could ever be separated from politics is probably the one thing that makes me the angriest. That really is just a lie to keep you from actually looking up and demanding a change from the billionaire profiting from your f***ed up life. Just helping the people around you with their struggles is already political. Anyways I hope your life is not actually so bad and I wish you only the best. (Unless you own a billion dollars) Edit: you could say the politics have been inserted into Dr. Eilers‘ talks the moment that someone developed mental health issues for an unjust reason
@@li__on6403i agree with you! Thanks for laying it out so clearly. The loss of 3rd places is a massive factor in the loneliness of many people who develop depression as a consequence
Thank you for this video. I've found all of it to be true in my own journey, as well. It's why I've been in my DBT-based group therapy program (STEPPS and then Stairways) since the fall of 2019, and continue to stay in it. In the last 6 months, I've felt like I went from level ground to running downhill, and it's an amazing feeling! And absolutely, I want to keep going! Healing is addictive, once you start seeing big results. You just have to keep going, making those small, sustainable changes and being patient with the process.
Your videos are making such a difference to my mental health. You really understand the issues involved and your approach is refreshing. Thank you for what you do and keep doing it.
Mine are a little different. I can’t exercise much at all due to health reasons. I try to eat right and get restful sleep. I also immerse myself in praying and studying my Bible, and attending church when able. I’m also an artist which is helpful.
You could give the same exact talk to people who try content creation. If they dont see success right away theyre out. As you know it takes time and consistency. I'm preaching to myself.
I either cant sleep most night or sleep through day.. I am already eating healthy but feeling really depressed. And its January.. Idk how ill get drivers license I get so much anxiety and am scared ill get sick again. Staying inside feels most safe to me..
Just do your best ...lots of us are in a similar situation. This morning i pretty much had to force myself to get up and get back to my regular routine after isolating all weekend. But you do a get a sense of pride when u force yourself to put yourself out there. Pulling for you ...the winter months are the toughest for me. January is cold and dark and here in February my mom and dad passed away 10 years apart in 2013 and 2023 so Feb is obviously a tough month.
I am begging you: do not give in. If you never force yourself to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, your world will be very small. I was so anxious when I got my first job, for the first week I was quietly ducking into the bathroom to throw up. But in time, you will gain confidence. I love the saying, "get comfortable with being uncomfortable." You have to tell yourself, I won't die. When I was in my early 20s, I developed a bit of agoraphobia also. I would turn red and start to hyperventilate in the supermarket. I pretty much treated myself by doing this: I wrote a list with 12 or 13 things on it. I would write them in order of where they were in the supermarket, so I could get in and out in ten mins. or so. One day, I found myself standing in the aisle reading a label, not rushing to get out. I realized: I am not panicky anymore. Make "I can do hard things" your mantra. I was also so anxious about getting my license. Remember that although it sucks to spend so much $ on it, you can flunk and take that damn test as many times as you need to! So don't worry one bit about flunking. Also: one of my goals this year is fixing my sleep schedule. I go to bed at 3 am and get up at noon, ugh!! But I know I can do this.
My family is unstable. My mom got mad and I did too at 10 pm.. I started raging my dad came home late again he drank alcohol or something. Now they are arguing. Its late again. I will never forget the pain I went through. I also wont forget how most people left me in pain and picked on me. I have rage problems and depression. I cant change or idk how to. I have to stay with them for noow
Im in the progress and i really have to keep telling me its allright. I turned the critical voice in my head of or at least i try to.. but sometimes I really wonder if im sugarcoating it and its actually not good :D I have an alarm that says in the morning "wake up sleepy head, riiiise and shine" and its so much better than the firm "how long are you going to sleep? WAKE UP!" From my former favourite character. I tried to go back to it but nope.. the gentle one is definitly causing me to be more productive and happy throuhout the day :D
I moved to a new place and started walking to to train station, 20 minute walk, 2 days a week, sometimes three. To get to appointments. I managed to do it for over half a year. I even lost weight. And I still didn't manage to keep it up. Taking the car now.
I've had, so far, 3 courses of cbt and a course of transactional analysis group therapy for my chronic anxiety disorder. My 2nd counsellor asked me "why aren't you doing the things that keep you feeling better?" Because I'm depressed and riddled with anxiety and struggling with it alone. If I could fix myself, I wouldn't be here.
CBT cannot work for anxiety. It's based on the premise that you can use thought to change the way your limbic and endocrine systems process sensory data. I'm telling you this to save you time and frustration.
I practice transcendental meditation. It helps to slowly create strength and reduce stress in the background in an ongoing way. Gradually becoming more strengthened then helps me to take in Dr. Scott's skilled encouragements into my brain. (p.s. There is a big centre in Fairfield, Iowa.)
The only worthwhile meditation is to problem solve or to connect to karra, Donna Douglas or Heather O'Rourke or even Slackjaw, of she wants to stop by.
oof, hits close to home. I actually have implemented small gradual changes that have now caused me to become way healthier n lose weight . I didn't even realise how my small efforts compounded into this because i was doing things that aligned with my love for cooking n sports. it was the same for having social life. Yet, when it comes to other areas of life like career and romantic relationships, i struggle and just tune out this philosophy in favor of quick 180s. nothing sticks and i fall into the cycle of resolutions and disappointments even when i achieve things.
I don't know what to do i have been in my bed for about 6 years and I have tried. different kinds of medicine and nothing seems to be working I don't have the desire to do anything i don't even know when the last time I took a shower i just lay in my bed and watch movies are i search for things to try and help me get out of this i hate it im very creative and used to paint and make things but I lost the will to do anything but my brain never stops thinking of things i want to do i just can't make myself get out of bed and start doing anything i try once in awhile to get up and try to start cleaning but I get overwhelmed after just a few minutes and I get right back in my bed and im. So tired of being this way i just don't care what happens anymore im about to be 56 and I been living this way so long trying to find a fix and I just give up on everything I barely cry anymore because I just don't care what happens to me anymore and my son just says im lazy which i have never been lazy i use to clean over stuff i already cleaned and as I don't even know what it's like to be happy i don't even remember what that feels like I sleep but not for a long time without waking up because my brain won't shut up im disabled and don't get much money it's not even enough to pay all my bills so I'm always behind and my son stays here and he makes me worse because he's always putting me down every single day and I just can't deal with it anymore i need serve serious help but I don't even have the will to do anything i pay my bills over the phone i go to my drs once in awhile but I cancel them alot because i can't get out of my bed much less go outside
I also suffered from low motivation to do simple tasks . Sometimes I binge watch whole day and ruminate about it next day. I came to know recently from Scott videos that those are symptoms of Depression . I found it after many years of struggling.
I am not expecting you to change for me. I expect you to change for you. It can be baby steps but what feels right to you? If you proved you could walk one mile in a week, why not set a goal to walk one mile per day? That is 1.6 km or 2000 steps or 20 minutes of walking. Can you walk for 20 minutes each day? This is how I interpret what Dr. Eilers is saying. Take the smaller incremental steps to get to your goal and you will likely stick with it better.
I'm 21, I've been struggling with depression for more than 3 years. In 2024 I started having a healthy diet (trying to slowly gain weight bcs I'm a stickman), and I've been running and practising callisthenics with a friend two times a week for about 6 months. My sleep schedule is improving a bit but I'm still struggling with that (mostly because of the fear of waking up and having to live through the next day) I'm going out with friends, I keep trying to do as much as I possibly can at my own pace, but no matter what every time the dark clouds keep coming back. No matter how hard I try to connect with others, to feel content with myself, to appreciate the little things life is giving me, it just doesn't work. I really want to know what should I do to recover from this 😭
Be patient and don't give up. I've been struggling with depression for 30 years or so and will probably never get rid of that condition for the rest of my life. But it gets better over time if you don't give up and keep going. I have my own family and kids now and they keep me alive. Most days are all right. Some are even really enjoyable. Some suck. But it's probably sustainable and worth sticking with it for a few more decades. Maybe you're luckier than me and can actually overcome it, but i guess what i'm trying to say is - you can also learn to live with it and have a somewhat normal life. You learn to appreciate the small things. I wish you the best.
Are you seeing a counselor or psychiatrist? Some people with severe depression really do need medication while they're building healthier habits. Some people never do get off the medication, but it's just like a chronic health problem. There's no shame in needing a med for your physical health; neither is there shame for needing a med for your mental health.
Congratulations on getting the healthy diet and fitness into your life. The sleep schedule progress as well. Please give it all some more time, I know 6 months may seem long, but you have years ahead of you to see improvement. Dr. Scott has videos, and a pdf download on tips for improving sleep, if you haven't already, check them out. Best of luck to you, you are making progress!
21 too here,suffering from about 4 years plus OCD. Man now i'm so much better than how i was one year ago and even worse,2-3years ago.Still have much to improve but honestly i feel safe finally,so really dont worry,i'm sure you will be okay.Take your time,listen and treat yourself as a good friend would.Keep the contact with your inner self and slowly you will be your biggest support.
The insurance companies are only paying for 6-ish sessions due to the evidence based flavors of CBT. CBT may be nice but 6 to 8 sessions is barely enough to get to know and trust a therapist much less work on anything of substance.
God gave you a free will.. and with that comes a lot of responsibility.. you are what you settle for... You are only what you saddle for.. don't count on people to help you. It's a rat race out there.. you just need to realize that you are special.. and you have to protect the life that you were given.. and not let anything attack it. Be true to yourself.. your body is your temple.. other than that there is no magic solution.. God gave you a free will to do that. I'm not saying it's easy.. if you try harder you'll get it.. and you'll really appreciate. That you conquered it yourself.. taking all these drugs. Can be a crapshoot.. but I'm not a doctor.. be true to yourself.. you're the one that can do the best job at that...😊.one last thing idle hands is the devils workshop .staying busy is the best thing to keep your mind healthy. So your mind does not wander on anxiety thoughts.. it's very important to stay busy and find things that you love to do that make you feel good... That's the most important thing.😊
Honey, I know what you mean… the people who know you don’t seem to care… At one time someone might have said that about me… I was ignorant about depression… even though I had it. But I notice Dr Scott cares. .. about all of us alone with our challenges. That’s why he does this. Don’t give up… I care
Is taking STD And LTD a good thing to do for severe depression? When your job is highly stressful bc of poor management it becomes harder to recover under such severe stress
I know many people, myself included, who developed severe depression and anxiety during COVID. Not sure if it's the isolation or something in the virus that caused it.
Has anyone ever been driven insane? I try to explain but no one understands or cares. My mom was pushed to insanity after the VA butchered my stepdad and a nursing home finished him off. She had a false belief for 6 years day and night that she signed her house over to the VA hospital. There was never any justice. She went to her worthless lawyer about 10 times a month for 6 years!!! (Except the pandemic for a year but called him). Her life was miserable and so was mine. Then she died from many things but the stress and worry. Then I went insane. Felt like after a near miss car accident... that horrible fight or flight but it never went away. Then a few months later her house was destroyed. I really went insane. It’s like you’re going to pass out but don’t and it stays that way for months. Like a delirious stupor.
What if I am in a catch 22? I sleep badly because my arms get num, so I wake up every hour and have to turn. It will not get better until I lose a significant amount of weight, around 15 kilos. But I can't brink myself to excercise or eat less because I am stone dead tired all day.
It took most, Years and Years to get to the point of Depression... It's going to take at least a few years to get back to half normal, of ever... just my opinion and experience...
Somewhat off topic but yet it's not. I decided a couple years ago that I was finding myself having difficulty dealing with deaths of loved ones so i requested Wellbutrin specifically because of something I read upon. I decided ok not going to take it but it starred at me until it expired. Last month I reminded a newer doctor what I chose but he said prozac may be a better one. So anyone in these comments have any comment re prozac?
For a very short period of time. It actually was never intended to be a long-term medication. It's meant to get you out of a funk and then you get off of it.
Lexapro was the very first antidepressant I tried, and it worked gloriously for around 2 years, then seemed to stop. (Nothing I've tried since then worked so well.) Looking back, I feel like I was maybe hypomanic, b/c my mood seemed "too good," but it was so great to feel that black cloud lift off of me for a while. BUT.... Lexapro is hard to go off of. I didn't have it too bad: weird feeling of 'brain zaps' for a week or so.
@@leinbajr It started with Lexapro, and then I was on one or more meds for nearly 20 years. I think what happens is, even if you don't really know for sure if a med is helping, you end up fearing going off of it in case it makes things worse. I no longer put a lot of stock in antidepressants for a couple of reasons. First, we found out a few years ago that we don't really know quite how depression works, or antidepressants, in terms of serotonin. Also, it seems that antidepressants are most helpful if you are severely depressed, as in "can't get out of bed" depressed. I am not that bad (thank God.) I recently was feeling low again and debating going back on Wellbutrin again --- the last med I was on, maybe 6 or more years ago. I really don't want to, but I would be willing to try it, and REALLY pay attention to see if it is actually helping. Wellbutrin is one that for me is a breeze to stop abruptly if I want to go off of it. (Unlike Lexapro.)
the pressure to get well...get back to work..etc to meet friends etc money worries as well as all the mental physical issues ....it can be too much to bear
For me, one of the most devastating things about Complex PTSD - where trauma goes on for years and years while the brain is still growing - is the overpowering sense of hopelessness, learned helplessness, and little to no inner reward system. These things become built in. It feels almost impossible to overcome.
I’m living in that spot right now. As a kid trauma as an adult, and not having a community that I’ve tried to build over the last decade, actually fundamentally change my daily Life means that I feel very overwhelmed and hopeless right now, looking into the future.
I find that staying consistent is vital to making progress. Just one thing done per day will equal about 30 things done in a month.
Love the thought❤
This is so important. As is giving yourself grace on the days you miss that one thing. ❤
This is so relevant and incredibly frustrating. I was getting back on track from the lowest place, been in therapy for awhile, working so hard to improve my life and mental health, and improve as efficiently as possible. Only to suddenly get depersonalization. My brain is breaking from the stress. And now I learned I’m going to be out of a job. I was so close to getting it together and it’s all falling apart again. So difficult to be patient when it feels like everything just collapses as it’s getting better. I wanted to finally start dating again and build my future. Now it feels like I can’t quite do that.
As my therapist wisely said, a drop in the bucket is still a drop more than you had yesterday
Wanted to let you know that your video on turning around negative self talk was very helpful to me. I am more consistently coaching myself better and being kinder to myself. I was awful to myself for probably 18 months and I feel like I am finally turning the corner.
I’m so glad it helped!!!
@@DrScottEilers It's definitely taken time but I feel like things are turning around. Just like this video said I'm trying to be patient and remind myself that things are changing.
If all he mentioned was sleep each time, he would be right. You got to get the sleep down, The many bad decisions I made on 4 hours of sleep is endless.😮, then exercise 🏋️♂️ and eating good food. These 3 have kept my depression at bay.❤👍
Thank you. I’ve been watching most of your videos and this one is by far, the best. I’ve been told to cheer up, to leave it with God, etc. Being a Christian has made the last statement difficult because I know it takes much more than that. Major depressive disorder isn’t something I can merely “bounce back from.” Those who haven’t been where I am have no clue. Pretending they do is unacceptable. So thank you again. I didn’t intend this to be so long.
Religion is a mental illness.
I've been depressed and in therapy for my entire adult life. I've been trying to make positive changes for 20 years. Nothing has helped. I've stuck with things for years and never had any improvement. I don't have any patience left.
I was thinking that yesterday-nothing really helps lol fuck
Please give yourself another chance;
You have the ability to help yourself.
Stop focusing on yourself. Get out of your head by doing things for others
@@mel3256that sounds like a bad advice but that actually helps at least a bit. Not in a sense of "do things for others even though you had plans for yourself or even though you don't want to" but it's the "focus more on others" .. like trying (im not sure yet if forcing this works long term) to be more interested in others, ask how their doing, don't compare it with yourself, just be happy for others. This helps me to be more social and to actually draw a bit energy from it while used to be really energy draining.
I really have to focus on it though:D like active listening and stuff like that.
And Helping others, then I at least have an argument about why I am at least a bit valuable.. unfortunately the Argument "im human so im valuable simply by being alive" doesn't count for me, it counts for others, others don't have to contribute to society in order for me to see value in them, but for myself... idk how to change that it's so deeply engrained:D
A Ph.d level psychologist changed my life. Anything under that didnt help me.
That thing you said about healthy things raising the average, but there still being swings, that's very close to how I have experienced it. I have had a tendency to go down into some dark places from time to time. But through the last decade or so I have been exercising pretty regularly. And one, I noticed that since I started doing that, the depths that I went to were not quite as deep; and two, if I take a break from the exercise for a couple of weeks to a month, I pretty quickly feel my mental health declining. So while exercise for me is not a 'fix', I do feel good doing it, and I do feel good afterward, and it does level me out quite a bit. So I can only recommend.
The way I found to stick with it was to make it a social obligation with other people. That way, I'm not only going for myself, I'm also going to meet other people's expectations. That gets me out the door.
I am a HUGE believer in doing very concrete, practical things to help with depression/anxiety before running for the pills. Exercise most definitely being one of them! And when you combine it with being outdoors, it is incredible. I also notice a dip in my mood if I slack off for 2 or more weeks --- like now. It's in the single digits here in CT.
Wow how is it that exactly what I need comes to me exactly when I need it. Many many thanks from an American in the Netherlands. Thank you so much for your willingness to share your insights.. full of gratitude. Committed to slow and steady wins the race because... Well it's not a race!
I like what you said, it is not a race. From my POV, it is a journey and slow and steady is the way to continue on the journey for the long haul and not burn out.
This is gold! Pick a few things and stick with them, consistently, and for a good amount of time, to see results. So simple, but a challenge to do. I'm one of those people who jump ship when something isn't working fast enough, and I end up with no real progress or worse off than I was before. I think you said in another video that people who say that they have tried everything and nothing works are those who never stick with something long enough for it to work. And, that the things that work are the simple things people have been touting for ages, i.e. sleep, good nutrition, exercise, etc. I'm finally coming around to accepting this (there are no magic bullets, and I don't have to reinvent the wheel!). My picks are mindfulness, sleep, exercise, nutrition, and keeping my living space tidy. Starting with small steps and changes that fit me first and committing to consistency over the long haul. The key is patience with yourself and the process. Spot on, Dr. Scott! Your videos are so helpful! Thank you!!
This is not really on the topic of this video, but I just wanted to say that your videos have been really helpful. The fact that you have both theoretical and personal experience and that you know how to really combine them is so good. It feels like almost every video actually gives me some new perspectives on things.
I did also want to sneakily make a suggestion for a topic. The one thing I haven‘t seen you talk about a lot, but that I think is by far the most important factor for mental health recovery and just growing as a person in general, is to find and *build* a community of people that accompany you on your journey. With community I mean more than a friend group. I mean a larger space of people that you move in that gives you a safety net and that your friendships live in. A community that is unified by their struggles in live and their fight against them.
Also if you make some personal mental health progress, the best way to secure that progress is to engrain it into that community. When you have such a community you will notice how your own progress is helping other people and even better how together you can turn this fight you share into a power that you really did not think was ever possible.
That was a lot longer than I wanted it to be, but I‘d be really interested in your thoughts on this topic.
Edit: What makes this so sad, is that I believe humans are fundamentally made for such a space, but that our modern (capitalist) society makes such communities extremely rare.
Please don't insert politics into Dr. Eilers' talks.
@ I‘m sorry to tell you, but you live in a world and maybe just maybe the fact that almost everyone has mental health issues should actually have some political implications.
The way we feel is not just human nature and mental illness is not just genetics. Capitalism has provably eliminated 3rd places (something like a community center or a park where you regularily meet new and old people, that is not your home and not your workspace or school) almost completely. And that changes how you feel. People sitting in their rooms all day and developing depression is not just their fault. It is also not just a law of nature that some people just have a life that sucks. There are always societal reasons for someones struggle and so the fight against them has to be societal, i.e. political, to some degree.
You rejecting the political aspects of mental health is frankly invalidating invalidating everyone whose mental health issues are actually grounded in reality. And the thing is, they always are.
I‘m sorry for getting a bit angry, but the sentiment that mental health could ever be separated from politics is probably the one thing that makes me the angriest.
That really is just a lie to keep you from actually looking up and demanding a change from the billionaire profiting from your f***ed up life. Just helping the people around you with their struggles is already political.
Anyways I hope your life is not actually so bad and I wish you only the best. (Unless you own a billion dollars)
Edit: you could say the politics have been inserted into Dr. Eilers‘ talks the moment that someone developed mental health issues for an unjust reason
I think better social connections are crucial to mental health as well.
@@li__on6403i agree with you! Thanks for laying it out so clearly. The loss of 3rd places is a massive factor in the loneliness of many people who develop depression as a consequence
Thank You for the video, Dr. Scott!!!!!!
This really hit home. The reality of the recovery process can be a powerful deterrent to seeking out help because of unrealistic expectations.
Thank you Dr Scott! Really needed to hear this today. 🙏
Thank you for this video. I've found all of it to be true in my own journey, as well. It's why I've been in my DBT-based group therapy program (STEPPS and then Stairways) since the fall of 2019, and continue to stay in it. In the last 6 months, I've felt like I went from level ground to running downhill, and it's an amazing feeling! And absolutely, I want to keep going! Healing is addictive, once you start seeing big results. You just have to keep going, making those small, sustainable changes and being patient with the process.
Your videos are making such a difference to my mental health. You really understand the issues involved and your approach is refreshing. Thank you for what you do and keep doing it.
Thank you brother. I am also getting better. Other people may not get it but I certainly am improving.
Excellent video. Very reassuring. Patience is key to good mental health. Thank you Dr. Scott!
Practical. helpful. Encouraging. Thank you
Thanks you this is just the motivation I needed to stay patient. Wishing everyone who sees this patience on there mental health journey
Thank you. Coming up 3 months of quitting. This makes a lot of sense.
I love your honesty. It is really hard to be a human. Not sure what I wanted to say in this comment anymore
My four goals for better mental health
1. Exercise
2. Improved Sleep Pattern
3. Improved diet choices
4. Dont isolate
Sounds good! Lets gooo my dude!
Mine are a little different. I can’t exercise much at all due to health reasons. I try to eat right and get restful sleep. I also immerse myself in praying and studying my Bible, and attending church when able. I’m also an artist which is helpful.
@gailreineke7186 going to church and attending bible study is a really good idea ... it will def help with the social component we all need 👍
Same, friend. Simple and powerful.
@@johngallagher72 going to church to waste your money and be criticized and bullied by a lying preacher?
These videos are so helpful. I am learning a lot, and adjusting my expectations and attitude in a helpful way.
You explain things so easy for me to understand
Thank you
This video was exactly what I needed to see right now. Thank you. Your videos tend to work like that for me and I appreciate it so much.
You could give the same exact talk to people who try content creation. If they dont see success right away theyre out. As you know it takes time and consistency. I'm preaching to myself.
As always, thanks, Doc! You give good advice. Babysteps for the win! 😄
So true. Little by little 😊
Your video is very helpful, as always!👍👍
I needed to hear this today, even though I rolled my eyes when clicking on the video.
escapism
they say there is no escape
only resolving past issues by making new choices
and starting the process over again and again
So useful. Thank you 😊
I think this is exactly my issue. Persistence has never been my strong point.
Thank you very much for this very good , sensible and vice advice!!😊🌹🌞
I either cant sleep most night or sleep through day.. I am already eating healthy but feeling really depressed. And its January.. Idk how ill get drivers license I get so much anxiety and am scared ill get sick again. Staying inside feels most safe to me..
Just do your best ...lots of us are in a similar situation. This morning i pretty much had to force myself to get up and get back to my regular routine after isolating all weekend. But you do a get a sense of pride when u force yourself to put yourself out there. Pulling for you ...the winter months are the toughest for me. January is cold and dark and here in February my mom and dad passed away 10 years apart in 2013 and 2023 so Feb is obviously a tough month.
I am begging you: do not give in. If you never force yourself to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, your world will be very small. I was so anxious when I got my first job, for the first week I was quietly ducking into the bathroom to throw up. But in time, you will gain confidence. I love the saying, "get comfortable with being uncomfortable." You have to tell yourself, I won't die. When I was in my early 20s, I developed a bit of agoraphobia also. I would turn red and start to hyperventilate in the supermarket. I pretty much treated myself by doing this: I wrote a list with 12 or 13 things on it. I would write them in order of where they were in the supermarket, so I could get in and out in ten mins. or so. One day, I found myself standing in the aisle reading a label, not rushing to get out. I realized: I am not panicky anymore. Make "I can do hard things" your mantra. I was also so anxious about getting my license. Remember that although it sucks to spend so much $ on it, you can flunk and take that damn test as many times as you need to! So don't worry one bit about flunking. Also: one of my goals this year is fixing my sleep schedule. I go to bed at 3 am and get up at noon, ugh!! But I know I can do this.
Suplement vitamin D 2000iu during winter Times.
Im so sorry this happened. I feel guilty for complaining now
My family is unstable. My mom got mad and I did too at 10 pm.. I started raging my dad came home late again he drank alcohol or something. Now they are arguing. Its late again. I will never forget the pain I went through. I also wont forget how most people left me in pain and picked on me. I have rage problems and depression. I cant change or idk how to. I have to stay with them for noow
Im in the progress and i really have to keep telling me its allright. I turned the critical voice in my head of or at least i try to.. but sometimes I really wonder if im sugarcoating it and its actually not good :D
I have an alarm that says in the morning "wake up sleepy head, riiiise and shine" and its so much better than the firm "how long are you going to sleep? WAKE UP!" From my former favourite character. I tried to go back to it but nope.. the gentle one is definitly causing me to be more productive and happy throuhout the day :D
I love the idea of shifting your alarm’s tone! Such a small thing, but such a big impact :)
I moved to a new place and started walking to to train station, 20 minute walk, 2 days a week, sometimes three. To get to appointments. I managed to do it for over half a year. I even lost weight. And I still didn't manage to keep it up. Taking the car now.
I've had, so far, 3 courses of cbt and a course of transactional analysis group therapy for my chronic anxiety disorder. My 2nd counsellor asked me "why aren't you doing the things that keep you feeling better?"
Because I'm depressed and riddled with anxiety and struggling with it alone. If I could fix myself, I wouldn't be here.
CBT cannot work for anxiety. It's based on the premise that you can use thought to change the way your limbic and endocrine systems process sensory data. I'm telling you this to save you time and frustration.
Thanks for this
Great advice dude!
So helpful.
Nobody is better to giv me us such advice than you 🌞
THANK YOU. ..
NEW SUBSCRIBER HERE. ...
I practice transcendental meditation. It helps to slowly create strength and reduce stress in the background in an ongoing way. Gradually becoming more strengthened then helps me to take in Dr. Scott's skilled encouragements into my brain. (p.s. There is a big centre in Fairfield, Iowa.)
I started practicing meditation to get myself to sleep. It has really helped.
The only worthwhile meditation is to problem solve or to connect to karra, Donna Douglas or Heather O'Rourke or even Slackjaw, of she wants to stop by.
oof, hits close to home. I actually have implemented small gradual changes that have now caused me to become way healthier n lose weight . I didn't even realise how my small efforts compounded into this because i was doing things that aligned with my love for cooking n sports. it was the same for having social life. Yet, when it comes to other areas of life like career and romantic relationships, i struggle and just tune out this philosophy in favor of quick 180s. nothing sticks and i fall into the cycle of resolutions and disappointments even when i achieve things.
I've never found anything easy or quick on the search for relief.
I miss the pictures on your wall. They were interesting
I’m in a transition period with my studio 😂 it will look more interesting soon!
I don't know what to do i have been in my bed for about 6 years and I have tried. different kinds of medicine and nothing seems to be working I don't have the desire to do anything i don't even know when the last time I took a shower i just lay in my bed and watch movies are i search for things to try and help me get out of this i hate it im very creative and used to paint and make things but I lost the will to do anything but my brain never stops thinking of things i want to do i just can't make myself get out of bed and start doing anything i try once in awhile to get up and try to start cleaning but I get overwhelmed after just a few minutes and I get right back in my bed and im. So tired of being this way i just don't care what happens anymore im about to be 56 and I been living this way so long trying to find a fix and I just give up on everything I barely cry anymore because I just don't care what happens to me anymore and my son just says im lazy which i have never been lazy i use to clean over stuff i already cleaned and as I don't even know what it's like to be happy i don't even remember what that feels like I sleep but not for a long time without waking up because my brain won't shut up im disabled and don't get much money it's not even enough to pay all my bills so I'm always behind and my son stays here and he makes me worse because he's always putting me down every single day and I just can't deal with it anymore i need serve serious help but I don't even have the will to do anything i pay my bills over the phone i go to my drs once in awhile but I cancel them alot because i can't get out of my bed much less go outside
I also suffered from low motivation to do simple tasks . Sometimes I binge watch whole day and ruminate about it next day. I came to know recently from Scott videos that those are symptoms of Depression . I found it after many years of struggling.
I need this approach to time and expectation with regards to recovering from ptsd
Thank you Dr. Eilers
You’re a hero Dr’scott
I am not expecting you to change for me. I expect you to change for you. It can be baby steps but what feels right to you? If you proved you could walk one mile in a week, why not set a goal to walk one mile per day? That is 1.6 km or 2000 steps or 20 minutes of walking. Can you walk for 20 minutes each day? This is how I interpret what Dr. Eilers is saying. Take the smaller incremental steps to get to your goal and you will likely stick with it better.
I'm 21, I've been struggling with depression for more than 3 years.
In 2024 I started having a healthy diet (trying to slowly gain weight bcs I'm a stickman), and I've been running and practising callisthenics with a friend two times a week for about 6 months.
My sleep schedule is improving a bit but I'm still struggling with that (mostly because of the fear of waking up and having to live through the next day)
I'm going out with friends, I keep trying to do as much as I possibly can at my own pace, but no matter what every time the dark clouds keep coming back.
No matter how hard I try to connect with others, to feel content with myself, to appreciate the little things life is giving me, it just doesn't work.
I really want to know what should I do to recover from this 😭
Be patient and don't give up. I've been struggling with depression for 30 years or so and will probably never get rid of that condition for the rest of my life. But it gets better over time if you don't give up and keep going. I have my own family and kids now and they keep me alive. Most days are all right. Some are even really enjoyable. Some suck. But it's probably sustainable and worth sticking with it for a few more decades.
Maybe you're luckier than me and can actually overcome it, but i guess what i'm trying to say is - you can also learn to live with it and have a somewhat normal life. You learn to appreciate the small things.
I wish you the best.
Are you seeing a counselor or psychiatrist? Some people with severe depression really do need medication while they're building healthier habits. Some people never do get off the medication, but it's just like a chronic health problem. There's no shame in needing a med for your physical health; neither is there shame for needing a med for your mental health.
@@martinkunz7155 Well-done!
Please stay well.
Congratulations on getting the healthy diet and fitness into your life. The sleep schedule progress as well. Please give it all some more time, I know 6 months may seem long, but you have years ahead of you to see improvement. Dr. Scott has videos, and a pdf download on tips for improving sleep, if you haven't already, check them out. Best of luck to you, you are making progress!
21 too here,suffering from about 4 years plus OCD. Man now i'm so much better than how i was one year ago and even worse,2-3years ago.Still have much to improve but honestly i feel safe finally,so really dont worry,i'm sure you will be okay.Take your time,listen and treat yourself as a good friend would.Keep the contact with your inner self and slowly you will be your biggest support.
The insurance companies are only paying for 6-ish sessions due to the evidence based flavors of CBT. CBT may be nice but 6 to 8 sessions is barely enough to get to know and trust a therapist much less work on anything of substance.
God gave you a free will.. and with that comes a lot of responsibility.. you are what you settle for... You are only what you saddle for.. don't count on people to help you. It's a rat race out there.. you just need to realize that you are special.. and you have to protect the life that you were given.. and not let anything attack it. Be true to yourself.. your body is your temple.. other than that there is no magic solution.. God gave you a free will to do that. I'm not saying it's easy.. if you try harder you'll get it.. and you'll really appreciate. That you conquered it yourself.. taking all these drugs. Can be a crapshoot.. but I'm not a doctor.. be true to yourself.. you're the one that can do the best job at that...😊.one last thing idle hands is the devils workshop .staying busy is the best thing to keep your mind healthy. So your mind does not wander on anxiety thoughts.. it's very important to stay busy and find things that you love to do that make you feel good... That's the most important thing.😊
Do you think I'm being censored by TH-cam the far left wing organization.... Do you think
I needed help with serious problems and NO ONE CARES.
Few care. That's how "society" is. There are still some nice folks around though.
Honey, I know what you mean… the people who know you don’t seem to care…
At one time someone might have said that about me… I was ignorant about depression… even though I had it.
But I notice Dr Scott cares. .. about all of us alone with our challenges.
That’s why he does this.
Don’t give up… I care
Is taking STD And LTD a good thing to do for severe depression? When your job is highly stressful bc of poor management it becomes harder to recover under such severe stress
I know many people, myself included, who developed severe depression and anxiety during COVID. Not sure if it's the isolation or something in the virus that caused it.
Has anyone ever been driven insane? I try to explain but no one understands or cares. My mom was pushed to insanity after the VA butchered my stepdad and a nursing home finished him off. She had a false belief for 6 years day and night that she signed her house over to the VA hospital. There was never any justice. She went to her worthless lawyer about 10 times a month for 6 years!!! (Except the pandemic for a year but called him). Her life was miserable and so was mine. Then she died from many things but the stress and worry. Then I went insane. Felt like after a near miss car accident... that horrible fight or flight but it never went away. Then a few months later her house was destroyed. I really went insane. It’s like you’re going to pass out but don’t and it stays that way for months. Like a delirious stupor.
What if I am in a catch 22? I sleep badly because my arms get num, so I wake up every hour and have to turn. It will not get better until I lose a significant amount of weight, around 15 kilos. But I can't brink myself to excercise or eat less because I am stone dead tired all day.
It took most, Years and Years to get to the point of Depression... It's going to take at least a few years to get back to half normal, of ever... just my opinion and experience...
Lexapro did not help me
it might work for you..that was just my experience ♥
Everyone is different. It worked ok for me. But there are many different antidepressants out there.
@@Catlily5all are trial and error. There is no scientific explanation for why A works for one and not for another.
@ranjittyagi9354 We do know that different people react differently to the same medications. Whether you consider it science or not.
Somewhat off topic but yet it's not. I decided a couple years ago that I was finding myself having difficulty dealing with deaths of loved ones so i requested Wellbutrin specifically because of something I read upon. I decided ok not going to take it but it starred at me until it expired. Last month I reminded a newer doctor what I chose but he said prozac may be a better one. So anyone in these comments have any comment re prozac?
I have been using Prozac for many yrs with good effect. As i have an overeating disorder I took 60 mg/day :)
@ElisabethEriksen63
So did it help with over eating? No weight gain no sleepless nights?
Thanking you in advance! 😊
Has lexapro helped anyone?
For a very short period of time. It actually was never intended to be a long-term medication. It's meant to get you out of a funk and then you get off of it.
Lexapro was the very first antidepressant I tried, and it worked gloriously for around 2 years, then seemed to stop. (Nothing I've tried since then worked so well.) Looking back, I feel like I was maybe hypomanic, b/c my mood seemed "too good," but it was so great to feel that black cloud lift off of me for a while. BUT.... Lexapro is hard to go off of. I didn't have it too bad: weird feeling of 'brain zaps' for a week or so.
It didn't help me. I really gave it a good try. I was on it for a year, and it was very hard to wean off of it. Best of luck to you❤
@@snu3877I had a similar experience to you. It worked great for me for several years, but it conked out and I’ve been in a pit since.
@@leinbajr It started with Lexapro, and then I was on one or more meds for nearly 20 years. I think what happens is, even if you don't really know for sure if a med is helping, you end up fearing going off of it in case it makes things worse. I no longer put a lot of stock in antidepressants for a couple of reasons. First, we found out a few years ago that we don't really know quite how depression works, or antidepressants, in terms of serotonin. Also, it seems that antidepressants are most helpful if you are severely depressed, as in "can't get out of bed" depressed. I am not that bad (thank God.) I recently was feeling low again and debating going back on Wellbutrin again --- the last med I was on, maybe 6 or more years ago. I really don't want to, but I would be willing to try it, and REALLY pay attention to see if it is actually helping. Wellbutrin is one that for me is a breeze to stop abruptly if I want to go off of it. (Unlike Lexapro.)
It takes 100 days of daily practice to make a new habit. Tying the new habit to an old one is the secret how to end up with long rituals lol😂
aaaaaaaaaahhhh the background is the same room at a different angle
The only thing that matters is work.
Pretty sure my brain is beyond repair and given up on life at this point.
14:44
So you think I can’t do it myself? Challenge accepted.
He didn't say that
❤
If they self help they will self help themselves into what they know best to help themselves in. And that's disaster.
You spend half your life in abuse and struggles, it can't be fixed in a week. Unless you're rich. But the rich don't have mental illness.
Who says the rich don't? 🤷🏻♂️
I was the 666th like ❤