Kurt! I've been watching you with Kyle for a long time. You are one of the best standups I've seen. You make me think of if a Jewish Tom Segura had a baby with an even more Jewish David Wain. You got the goods. Come to Houston, pleeeeeeze?
People are always in the comments saying stuff like your art saved my life, and I'm not saying that. But I'm also the kind of person who's not going to listen (for better or worse) and sometimes the best message is seeing someone who's honest about how fucked up life can be and nobody is going to make your choices for you. I fucking love being high and hate being sober. It's not at all worth it cause I am so moody I can't concentrate. Even weed breaks the tension but I'm dry on that too. Drugs weren't the problem, my personality and emotions are the problem, but I'm also perfectly fine with myself which is the main thing that keeps anyone alive.
Billy Heaning I mean yeah they look alike but any proof they’re brothers? If I could see the head of their penises I could totally make a match. But alas I have seen neither.
Billy Heaning unfortunately that’s one of the biggest problems writing in a text format, I totally get it now, if you look at their faces, they both have this like 2 week old baby bird with large eyebrows effect.
This guy is the BEST!!!
Great story!
Kurt! I've been watching you with Kyle for a long time. You are one of the best standups I've seen. You make me think of if a Jewish Tom Segura had a baby with an even more Jewish David Wain. You got the goods. Come to Houston, pleeeeeeze?
I like this guy, style is original and gets ya off guard haha
this is by far the best story I've ever heard!!!
Yooooooo Kurp!!
People are always in the comments saying stuff like your art saved my life, and I'm not saying that. But I'm also the kind of person who's not going to listen (for better or worse) and sometimes the best message is seeing someone who's honest about how fucked up life can be and nobody is going to make your choices for you. I fucking love being high and hate being sober. It's not at all worth it cause I am so moody I can't concentrate. Even weed breaks the tension but I'm dry on that too. Drugs weren't the problem, my personality and emotions are the problem, but I'm also perfectly fine with myself which is the main thing that keeps anyone alive.
He is speaking the truth.
“Lebanese-Dutch” 😂
*Mr Bean is one of my favorite comics*
That’s a pretty good Rich Vos impression
love his twisted humor,
volume needs a boost tho, please?
That was pretty funny
Kurt is a national treasure.
The first time I ever did coke was in Canada and the dude that git it for me didn't want to do any of it with me either 🤣😂🤣😂
This sounds like something Randall would do.
anybody know who mike stoklasa is, from red letter media? he's like kurt metzger's brother or something
Wait what, I love mike stoklasa. And I love Kurt metzger.
Zach White Look at pics of em side by side
Billy Heaning I mean yeah they look alike but any proof they’re brothers? If I could see the head of their penises I could totally make a match. But alas I have seen neither.
Zach White ah, vocal intonation doesn’t come across via text. He’s “like”, as in, similar to. Not Valley girl “like”. Not literally.
Billy Heaning unfortunately that’s one of the biggest problems writing in a text format, I totally get it now, if you look at their faces, they both have this like 2 week old baby bird with large eyebrows effect.
4:20 when he says, "some other shit," and nobody laughs?? Are you people
Wow-so funny.
He sounds like that Indian-Canadian guy. And they look similar.
Bad audio.
Can you imagine doing blow with this guy what a nightmare, And I said that before I listened to the story
Joke thief
Who...
Amy Schumer
Kurp !