For all 3 years I'm the rejected one but I give it everything and am there the most, after all that still am the least wanted. It eventually breaks you no matter what.
I was always unloved and rejected so when i got pregnant i felt like finally i will be able to feel unconditional love where the baby will think i am his whole world. Turns out i am also unfavored by my own baby. Its so sad and hurtful.
Love this all. I’ve been getting sad/upset with my son for rejecting his daddy for no reason and all of this video has made us feel ALOT BETTER. Thank you! Will be watching all of your videos
Watching this just bawling my eyes out. The mom guilt is so real. She’s even started hitting me and telling me NO, when I even just approach her. I do my best, I work so hard, work from home so I can always be around her and get up from my chair when she calls for me. But yet she prefers my husband bc he’s the more fun one, I guess. He has more energy and more free time alone with her. Hope to get some insights and feel less guilt after this video.
My kid goes between wanting mummy more and daddy more. We didn't have the best relationship with our own parents so we are happy for each other when she gravitates toward one or the other ❤️
Thank you! How should I specifically respond when I am with my 3yo trying to help them get dressed/brush teeth/get in the bath - and they demand their father instead of me? Do I simply say "ok let me get him" if he's available (which he usually is) -- but I feel weird just "giving in". I understand trying not to take it personally, does that mean complying every time if he asks for the other parent? Let him dictate who does what every time? I don't know how to set this boundary without getting into the power struggle lose-lose you describe - Do I let go and let him rule the roost? Thank you!
Thank you for opening up my mind to view things in a different perspective I often get upset inside when my kids chose there mother over me but now I understand and feel a lot better about handling it in the future !
Thank you Dr. Jasmine. Could you do a video on what the current data is on crying it out from a psychological standpoint? There seems to be so much different information on the internet.
Thank you Dr Jasmine. That was a very helpful video. Im the non favourite parent (mumma) infact I come 3rd in the list, daddy, grandma and then me. You've give me some useful things to think about.
My daughter goes to her father for schooling and I see her on the weekend unless she is sick, now I have to take her to the doctor while her father just sits at home while I have worked all day.
My question is - I’m currently a work from home mom (thanks COVID) and my hubby is the stay at home parent. Problem is my daughter wants me and sometimes I’m in a meeting. It’s becoming work disruptive. Thoughts?
POSITIVE PARENTING CHECKLISTS! These printable checklists are designed to help you through the most difficult moments, including tantrums, defiance, and risk taking. www.themompsychologist.com/bundle
As the parent being favored in the moment, how do we support our spouse or generally inform our child it's 'not nice' to say hurtful things like that? My son is 2.5 years old and sometimes on the way home we get excited talking about Daddy being home. We walk in the door and it's 'nooooooo daddy!' Which is hurtful, my husband can't even say hello without our son screaming no in our faces. What should I say as a response to that behavior? I don't want to feed into it and reinforce the behavior but I feel a need to let him know he's hurt someone's feelings. Thanks!
I know this is an old post and old question, but I also could use some advice in this area. Was sad there was no response to this. I Would be very great full if you responded to Maggie’s questioned so I could learn as well!
I’m currently on the same page . I agree it’s so challenging ! I feel horrible because my 3 yo daughter also preffers me and does not let her dad come around her but only when I’m around . I know it makes him really sad and upset I just want to help in any way . I prep talk to her every day before he gets home reassure her that her daddy loves her just as much as I do & that he’s excited to come home to see her & well that doesn’t work😔
My heart is broken ...my son is preferring dad because his dad is letting him play videogames in the week and the house is where he started being raised. :(
My 3 year old prefers me over my husband. My husband said he is sick of the disrespect. He said if our child doesn’t like him, he’s going to start taking his toys away to teach him a lesson. I told him I didn’t think this was a good idea. Thoughts?
Yeah, @6:25 you're definitely high on something.. avoidance and tantrums are a sign of feeling comfortable? Lol. Yeah my kid screams bloody murder, kicks and punches anytime I interact with her, so that means she loves me?
Well,...what about when the other parent is 'preferred' because they do NOT discipline the child but enable whatever they want. The 'unpreferred' is simply in that position because the other parent has no boundaries. My wife was raised in a cult away from her parents in India from age 6 to 18! She smothers our only child and I have to be the 'adult'. Guess who the child favors?
What do you do when the other parent encourages the child to not want you (the mom) purposely so they can take them from you? What do you do when the other parent is constantly programming the child to prefer them over you as a strategy to have your kid not want you in the end. I do every for my child to keep them happy and thriving but it feels theres no point when im dealing with an immature parent they blocks anything i try with my child on purpose. And he has a whole team of people including other kids (my sons siblings on his dads side) that help this happen. Its the worst feeling i can describe but feels like ive lost my child.
What's heartbreaking is I'm going through this with a month old and he prefers his dad more he feels a lot safer with him dad it just hurts so much because I carried my son for 9 months took care of him for a whole month my husband was always busy and always working and almost didn't have time for him I feel so damn hurt and so damn rejected im literally in tears right now 💔 I legit wanted a son who would be attached to me
i know how you feel.. my 2 month old son is also attached to my husband. im the primary caregiver but he doesnt like me to carry him. he cries for an hour. but when his dad picks him up from me, he stops crying. it really hurts i cry every time he does that. 2 month old is still to early for attachment😢
@@jinjin3702 I am so sorry you are going through that it actually hurts like hell what we want is the best for our children and our children to know they can feel safe and secure with us and they can trust us and look up to us but I guess as time goes by they will understand that
I'm going thru the exact same thing with my 4.5 month old son. He's fine with me while his dad is gone, but screams bloody murder if I come within 5 feet of him when "Daddy" is home. I'm heartbroken, and my husband doesn't care. 😢
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For all 3 years I'm the rejected one but I give it everything and am there the most, after all that still am the least wanted. It eventually breaks you no matter what.
100% sending love
100% feel this
Yep true
I totally agree. I'm in the same situation and no matter what they say, it's very hurtful
We have 50/50 custody. My daughter prefers her dad and it breaks my heart its so painful to be rejected as a mom.
I was always unloved and rejected so when i got pregnant i felt like finally i will be able to feel unconditional love where the baby will think i am his whole world. Turns out i am also unfavored by my own baby. Its so sad and hurtful.
Love this all. I’ve been getting sad/upset with my son for rejecting his daddy for no reason and all of this video has made us feel ALOT BETTER. Thank you! Will be watching all of your videos
Watching this just bawling my eyes out. The mom guilt is so real. She’s even started hitting me and telling me NO, when I even just approach her. I do my best, I work so hard, work from home so I can always be around her and get up from my chair when she calls for me. But yet she prefers my husband bc he’s the more fun one, I guess. He has more energy and more free time alone with her. Hope to get some insights and feel less guilt after this video.
My kid goes between wanting mummy more and daddy more. We didn't have the best relationship with our own parents so we are happy for each other when she gravitates toward one or the other ❤️
Thank you! How should I specifically respond when I am with my 3yo trying to help them get dressed/brush teeth/get in the bath - and they demand their father instead of me? Do I simply say "ok let me get him" if he's available (which he usually is) -- but I feel weird just "giving in". I understand trying not to take it personally, does that mean complying every time if he asks for the other parent? Let him dictate who does what every time? I don't know how to set this boundary without getting into the power struggle lose-lose you describe - Do I let go and let him rule the roost? Thank you!
I’d love to see a response to this. Have the same question
Thank you for opening up my mind to view things in a different perspective I often get upset inside when my kids chose there mother over me but now I understand and feel a lot better about handling it in the future !
Aww so glad this video was helpful! Thanks for watching :)
Definitely interested in another video about attachment theory!
I am literally going through this right now & absolutely needed this! Thank you Dr Jasmine.
Aww you're welcome. Glad to help!
Thank you Dr. Jasmine. Could you do a video on what the current data is on crying it out from a psychological standpoint? There seems to be so much different information on the internet.
Thank you Dr Jasmine. That was a very helpful video. Im the non favourite parent (mumma) infact I come 3rd in the list, daddy, grandma and then me. You've give me some useful things to think about.
My daughter goes to her father for schooling and I see her on the weekend unless she is sick, now I have to take her to the doctor while her father just sits at home while I have worked all day.
sooo helpful! thank you for this video Dr.Jazmine!
Thank you, that’s really helpful
Yes attachment video please
You got it!
My question is - I’m currently a work from home mom (thanks COVID) and my hubby is the stay at home parent. Problem is my daughter wants me and sometimes I’m in a meeting. It’s becoming work disruptive. Thoughts?
POSITIVE PARENTING CHECKLISTS! These printable checklists are designed to help you through the most difficult moments, including tantrums, defiance, and risk taking. www.themompsychologist.com/bundle
As the parent being favored in the moment, how do we support our spouse or generally inform our child it's 'not nice' to say hurtful things like that? My son is 2.5 years old and sometimes on the way home we get excited talking about Daddy being home. We walk in the door and it's 'nooooooo daddy!' Which is hurtful, my husband can't even say hello without our son screaming no in our faces. What should I say as a response to that behavior? I don't want to feed into it and reinforce the behavior but I feel a need to let him know he's hurt someone's feelings. Thanks!
I know this is an old post and old question, but I also could use some advice in this area. Was sad there was no response to this. I Would be very great full if you responded to Maggie’s questioned so I could learn as well!
I’m currently on the same page . I agree it’s so challenging ! I feel horrible because my 3 yo daughter also preffers me and does not let her dad come around her but only when I’m around . I know it makes him really sad and upset I just want to help in any way . I prep talk to her every day before he gets home reassure her that her daddy loves her just as much as I do & that he’s excited to come home to see her & well that doesn’t work😔
My heart is broken ...my son is preferring dad because his dad is letting him play videogames in the week and the house is where he started being raised. :(
What if it's a teenager
Where does unconditional love turn into enabling i.e. Mackenzie Shirilla?
My 3 year old prefers me over my husband. My husband said he is sick of the disrespect. He said if our child doesn’t like him, he’s going to start taking his toys away to teach him a lesson. I told him I didn’t think this was a good idea. Thoughts?
Such a kid ( your husband) your kid may need quality time from your husband
Yeah, @6:25 you're definitely high on something.. avoidance and tantrums are a sign of feeling comfortable? Lol. Yeah my kid screams bloody murder, kicks and punches anytime I interact with her, so that means she loves me?
Well,...what about when the other parent is 'preferred' because they do NOT discipline the child but enable whatever they want. The 'unpreferred' is simply in that position because the other parent has no boundaries. My wife was raised in a cult away from her parents in India from age 6 to 18! She smothers our only child and I have to be the 'adult'. Guess who the child favors?
Same situation here :(
What do you do when the other parent encourages the child to not want you (the mom) purposely so they can take them from you? What do you do when the other parent is constantly programming the child to prefer them over you as a strategy to have your kid not want you in the end. I do every for my child to keep them happy and thriving but it feels theres no point when im dealing with an immature parent they blocks anything i try with my child on purpose. And he has a whole team of people including other kids (my sons siblings on his dads side) that help this happen. Its the worst feeling i can describe but feels like ive lost my child.
Do you have an email address that I can reach you!
What's heartbreaking is I'm going through this with a month old and he prefers his dad more he feels a lot safer with him dad it just hurts so much because I carried my son for 9 months took care of him for a whole month my husband was always busy and always working and almost didn't have time for him I feel so damn hurt and so damn rejected im literally in tears right now 💔 I legit wanted a son who would be attached to me
i know how you feel.. my 2 month old son is also attached to my husband. im the primary caregiver but he doesnt like me to carry him. he cries for an hour. but when his dad picks him up from me, he stops crying. it really hurts i cry every time he does that. 2 month old is still to early for attachment😢
@@jinjin3702 😞 the same thing happens to me
@@jinjin3702 I am so sorry you are going through that it actually hurts like hell what we want is the best for our children and our children to know they can feel safe and secure with us and they can trust us and look up to us but I guess as time goes by they will understand that
@@jinjin3702 may I ask you when you had your baby
I'm going thru the exact same thing with my 4.5 month old son. He's fine with me while his dad is gone, but screams bloody murder if I come within 5 feet of him when "Daddy" is home. I'm heartbroken, and my husband doesn't care. 😢