I live in Cyprus and I’m a dual citizen of both Canada and Scotland. I look forward to your videos very much every Thursday! Thank you so much. I have learned a lot and I continue to share it!
Around 53 minutes in, really appreciated your balanced answer about how it's not just a choice between purity culture and hedonism. Ironically the way purity culture has been used to give power to men and to blame women is powered by obligation sex thus ends up being absolutely hedonistic. Using purity culture to control and use people is not treating sexuality as sacred.
I’m a little late listening to this episode, been in the process of moving. I’m really glad someone asked about why continue to go to church with past hurt. It really helps me to hear your guys’ answers. And your reasoning encourages me. ❤
I loved your take on homeschooling! I’m a teacher in the public school system in Ontario and so my kids also attend public schools- and our experience has been great, but it’s just a different choice! For your toddler: I know two people whose toddlers used one of those plasma car things to get around when they broke a leg!
As to how to navigate dating, I don’t know if you’ve heard of the Burned Haystack Dating Method, but you should check it out - she does some phenomenal analyses of communication patterns (that’s her PhD), which helps a lot in understanding who is or is not a good potential date, and she has a huge following, so she’s really resonating. It’s VERY good material.
Ok I know this is my purity culture indoctrination coming out but when you said just go to each other’s houses and hang out I nearly choked. Lol. If you are planning to wait for sex till marriage I guess it’s not impossible but definitely hard to wait if you are hanging out that much in private. Sure there might be other people there but my husband and I both had our own place so if we went to each other’s houses we were alone. Sorry like I said that’s the purity culture in me screaming 😂
There are some men I can be around and would sooner lick the bottom of my shoe than try any you know what . . . I get that it's different for when you're in a dating relationship with someone you're attracted to and not just friends, but couples need to decide for themselves what would be wise boundaries 😊
@@FireflowerDancer oh certainly I agree! I wasn’t implying that every man is a temptation just as I don’t believe every woman’s body is a temptation. But certainly if you are in love and attracted to each other and you are trying to save yourselves, hanging out together alone is risky, it was for me at least.
I get what you mean about the purity culture in you screaming. I have had so many talks with my mom about purity culture and the harm it inflicts and it took years to help her uproot the fear based teachings she was given that caused the purity culture scream. One thing to consider is that purity culture doesn’t prepare young girls especially in navigating relationships. Advice I received from purity culture advocates was to date for 3 months, get engaged, and rush to the alter in 9 months. Because that way there’s less time to “burn with lust.” This is very unrealistic for so many reasons but the biggest, most dangerous reason is that it allows so little time to get to know the person you are going to need to trust the most in the whole world. Especially if you follow the rules and are never alone with them it is impossible to actually get to know someone under those conditions. Abuse is so common and we should be arming against it by telling our young people what wholehearted, genuine consent looks like, what love-bombing is, what the abuse cycle looks like, what qualities should they be looking for in a romantic partner, what to do if they find themselves in a relationship with an abuser, not “don’t ever, ever have sex or God will be mad at you.” The fear tactics the church uses especially on young girls and the topic of sex is intense and it is hard to root out. But God does not give us a spirit of fear. Freedom from this fear is possible. So let purity culture scream out its death rattle as you heal from it.
@@brighidmcmullen9577 I agree. My first marriage was like that. We were together about 4 years but always chaperoned. We were virgins when we married or at least I was, as soon as we were married and living alone he became a monster. There’s no way to know someone if you are always chaperoned.
For Rebecca - have you heard of sensory tiles or sensory squish mats? They are these squishy mats filled with liquid and sequins or tiny plastic charms and children love them. They're dry and they can stomp on them or squish them and they are very satisfying as well as stress relieving. Otherwise I would say play dough - there's make at home recipes as well as packs you can buy.
Christian homeschoolers should also seriously think about Charlotte Mason style homeschooling which is a rich liberal arts style of classical. The podcasts, The Literary Life Podcast and The Mason Jar talk about it. Ambleside Online is a free Charlotte Mason style curriculum online. And read John Holt and John Taylor Gatto, who were public and private school teachers. Sheila is right that homeschooling is for broadening your kids opportunities, and in my state my kids could take high school and college classes for free just like a public school student. And participate in sports.
QUESTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you PLEASE review the book "Discovering the Mind of a Woman" by Ken Nair, specifically chapter 13 titled "I'm Just Weird" ? A man at church was handing this out to several brothers and gave one to my husband. I decided to open it to see if it was correctly telling him what I am thinking and this chapter made me so angry that I told my husband it was junk and why and, thankfully, he believed me and let me throw it away. However, I would be VERY grateful for you to do a video review of it (including with your evidenced based data regard woman having a "responsive" drive) that we could possibly share with the other men whom he has given it to and also for the folks in web-land who may be looking for reviews for this book. The author seems to have good intentions, trying to take the load of responsibility off wives and encourage husbands to educate themselves on how women think, but he fails miserably regarding $ex and I'm concerned that his apparent good intentions will mislead people. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi! It sounds like a terrible book, but it also doesn't sell very well. Right now we're focusing on books that have really high Amazon rankings, meaning that a lot of people are still getting suckered in. That doesn't mean that we don't agree the book is bad--but we're trying to focus on the big things first. But hopefully as we bring awareness to these issues (since they all seem to have very similar problems) people will be able to start identifying those problems in other books they see!
@@SheilaWrayGregoire That makes sense, thank you! We have watched many of your videos and cannot remember which one that most contains your evidence-based data/statistics, could you point us to the best one?
There are a lot of numbers/stats in their book, The Great Sex Rescue. I think they mentioned recently that Amazon had it on sale if you don't already have it!
Hi, Sheila I want to get your opinion how you understand the “House hold Codes” that Paul writes about. I am referring to where Paul uses “Head” in his letters to refer to marriages. I have noticed that there are two views on how to understand the word and to be honest I am having a difficult time to understand it.
I'm sure Sheila can explain the egalitarian view of the word "head," and I totally agree with that view. A secular video, though, really helped me see the whole submission/headship in a healthier light than what conservative churches teach. First, everything must go back to a teaching of Christ, in my view, plus there is nothing about hierarchy and being the boss in the Ephesian verses. I watched this secular video and others to help heal my femininity since conservative Christianity teaches that it's subordinate, etc. This video explained that in general, femininity receives and supports, and in general, masculinity provides and that mentally healthy men in general like to do things to support their partner, in other words, their "leadership" is to provide and benefit, just like a husband's headship is to be like how Christ loves the church. So, under the umbrella of equality (submit to one another), wives receive and support while husbands lead by carrying out acts of service to benefit and support. Now, none of this should be used legalistically. This goes back to loving one another as Christ commands and touches on aspects of femininity and masculinity. Just my two cents.
Sociopaths are typically charming and have a good public image, so the advice to "look at their friends" is not a good marker to sus out someone based on their friend circles -- maybe this advice is applicable if you are a teenager
It was originally written with special needs students in mind, so it may be more regimented than what many of us look for. I really liked Singapore math, but it only goes through 6th grade.
Odd that your FB page is going through exactly the same thing that NakedPastor's FB page went through just recently. Coincidence, or is someone targetting voices talking about healthy faith, deconstruction, etc etc?
![CAMPปลิ้น | EP.83[2/2] ประสบการณ์ขนหัวลุกจากตำนานวงการผี!](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/T_kFecQw7Ds/mqdefault.jpg)
I live in Cyprus and I’m a dual citizen of both Canada and Scotland. I look forward to your videos very much every Thursday! Thank you so much. I have learned a lot and I continue to share it!
Around 53 minutes in, really appreciated your balanced answer about how it's not just a choice between purity culture and hedonism.
Ironically the way purity culture has been used to give power to men and to blame women is powered by obligation sex thus ends up being absolutely hedonistic. Using purity culture to control and use people is not treating sexuality as sacred.
I’m a little late listening to this episode, been in the process of moving. I’m really glad someone asked about why continue to go to church with past hurt. It really helps me to hear your guys’ answers. And your reasoning encourages me. ❤
I loved your take on homeschooling! I’m a teacher in the public school system in Ontario and so my kids also attend public schools- and our experience has been great, but it’s just a different choice!
For your toddler: I know two people whose toddlers used one of those plasma car things to get around when they broke a leg!
As to how to navigate dating, I don’t know if you’ve heard of the Burned Haystack Dating Method, but you should check it out - she does some phenomenal analyses of communication patterns (that’s her PhD), which helps a lot in understanding who is or is not a good potential date, and she has a huge following, so she’s really resonating. It’s VERY good material.
YES! I loved her TED talks and spent a whole evening following rabbit trails about her stuff a while ago.
0:33 Love Rebecca’s braided ponytail!
There is a lot wrong with public schools but the answer isn’t misogynistic religious teachings
I think one good way to sus people out of dating options is to look at how they respond to difficulties in life.
Ok I know this is my purity culture indoctrination coming out but when you said just go to each other’s houses and hang out I nearly choked. Lol. If you are planning to wait for sex till marriage I guess it’s not impossible but definitely hard to wait if you are hanging out that much in private. Sure there might be other people there but my husband and I both had our own place so if we went to each other’s houses we were alone. Sorry like I said that’s the purity culture in me screaming 😂
There are some men I can be around and would sooner lick the bottom of my shoe than try any you know what . . . I get that it's different for when you're in a dating relationship with someone you're attracted to and not just friends, but couples need to decide for themselves what would be wise boundaries 😊
@@FireflowerDancer oh certainly I agree! I wasn’t implying that every man is a temptation just as I don’t believe every woman’s body is a temptation. But certainly if you are in love and attracted to each other and you are trying to save yourselves, hanging out together alone is risky, it was for me at least.
I get what you mean about the purity culture in you screaming. I have had so many talks with my mom about purity culture and the harm it inflicts and it took years to help her uproot the fear based teachings she was given that caused the purity culture scream. One thing to consider is that purity culture doesn’t prepare young girls especially in navigating relationships. Advice I received from purity culture advocates was to date for 3 months, get engaged, and rush to the alter in 9 months. Because that way there’s less time to “burn with lust.” This is very unrealistic for so many reasons but the biggest, most dangerous reason is that it allows so little time to get to know the person you are going to need to trust the most in the whole world. Especially if you follow the rules and are never alone with them it is impossible to actually get to know someone under those conditions.
Abuse is so common and we should be arming against it by telling our young people what wholehearted, genuine consent looks like, what love-bombing is, what the abuse cycle looks like, what qualities should they be looking for in a romantic partner, what to do if they find themselves in a relationship with an abuser, not “don’t ever, ever have sex or God will be mad at you.”
The fear tactics the church uses especially on young girls and the topic of sex is intense and it is hard to root out. But God does not give us a spirit of fear. Freedom from this fear is possible. So let purity culture scream out its death rattle as you heal from it.
@@brighidmcmullen9577 I agree. My first marriage was like that. We were together about 4 years but always chaperoned. We were virgins when we married or at least I was, as soon as we were married and living alone he became a monster. There’s no way to know someone if you are always chaperoned.
I purchased this book! I love it, as women, we need to see ourselves! Thank you for letting us know about this book!
For Rebecca - have you heard of sensory tiles or sensory squish mats? They are these squishy mats filled with liquid and sequins or tiny plastic charms and children love them. They're dry and they can stomp on them or squish them and they are very satisfying as well as stress relieving.
Otherwise I would say play dough - there's make at home recipes as well as packs you can buy.
Oh we adore snarky Rebecca lol 😂
Christian homeschoolers should also seriously think about Charlotte Mason style homeschooling which is a rich liberal arts style of classical. The podcasts, The Literary Life Podcast and The Mason Jar talk about it. Ambleside Online is a free Charlotte Mason style curriculum online. And read John Holt and John Taylor Gatto, who were public and private school teachers. Sheila is right that homeschooling is for broadening your kids opportunities, and in my state my kids could take high school and college classes for free just like a public school student. And participate in sports.
Which state?
I have a friend who is using the Charlotte Mason method and I found it fascinating.
We pretty much did the Charlotte Mason method!
QUESTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you PLEASE review the book "Discovering the Mind of a Woman" by Ken Nair, specifically chapter 13 titled "I'm Just Weird" ? A man at church was handing this out to several brothers and gave one to my husband. I decided to open it to see if it was correctly telling him what I am thinking and this chapter made me so angry that I told my husband it was junk and why and, thankfully, he believed me and let me throw it away. However, I would be VERY grateful for you to do a video review of it (including with your evidenced based data regard woman having a "responsive" drive) that we could possibly share with the other men whom he has given it to and also for the folks in web-land who may be looking for reviews for this book. The author seems to have good intentions, trying to take the load of responsibility off wives and encourage husbands to educate themselves on how women think, but he fails miserably regarding $ex and I'm concerned that his apparent good intentions will mislead people. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi! It sounds like a terrible book, but it also doesn't sell very well. Right now we're focusing on books that have really high Amazon rankings, meaning that a lot of people are still getting suckered in. That doesn't mean that we don't agree the book is bad--but we're trying to focus on the big things first. But hopefully as we bring awareness to these issues (since they all seem to have very similar problems) people will be able to start identifying those problems in other books they see!
@@SheilaWrayGregoire That makes sense, thank you! We have watched many of your videos and cannot remember which one that most contains your evidence-based data/statistics, could you point us to the best one?
There are a lot of numbers/stats in their book, The Great Sex Rescue. I think they mentioned recently that Amazon had it on sale if you don't already have it!
Hi, Sheila I want to get your opinion how you understand the “House hold Codes” that Paul writes about. I am referring to where Paul uses “Head” in his letters to refer to marriages. I have noticed that there are two views on how to understand the word and to be honest I am having a difficult time to understand it.
I'm sure Sheila can explain the egalitarian view of the word "head," and I totally agree with that view. A secular video, though, really helped me see the whole submission/headship in a healthier light than what conservative churches teach. First, everything must go back to a teaching of Christ, in my view, plus there is nothing about hierarchy and being the boss in the Ephesian verses. I watched this secular video and others to help heal my femininity since conservative Christianity teaches that it's subordinate, etc. This video explained that in general, femininity receives and supports, and in general, masculinity provides and that mentally healthy men in general like to do things to support their partner, in other words, their "leadership" is to provide and benefit, just like a husband's headship is to be like how Christ loves the church. So, under the umbrella of equality (submit to one another), wives receive and support while husbands lead by carrying out acts of service to benefit and support. Now, none of this should be used legalistically. This goes back to loving one another as Christ commands and touches on aspects of femininity and masculinity. Just my two cents.
Painting, clay, coloring, educational kids shows
You should do a debate with Lori Alexander " The Transformed Wife".
“She who must not be named.”
@21:54 lol I bet Rebecca thought that Sheila was going somewhere else. Some husbands sure do like that extra 10.
Sociopaths are typically charming and have a good public image, so the advice to "look at their friends" is not a good marker to sus out someone based on their friend circles -- maybe this advice is applicable if you are a teenager
You mentioned Saxon math. My brief foray into Saxon math was not positive, but I thought that was just me being stupid. What's wrong with Saxon math?
We actually really really liked it and that's what Rebecca and Joanna use! Many people find it too rigid though.
It was originally written with special needs students in mind, so it may be more regimented than what many of us look for. I really liked Singapore math, but it only goes through 6th grade.
She Who Will Not Be Named 😅😂
Odd that your FB page is going through exactly the same thing that NakedPastor's FB page went through just recently. Coincidence, or is someone targetting voices talking about healthy faith, deconstruction, etc etc?
hmm... that's a good question. !!!
Too funny about ripping girl nonsense out of your Bible. This is the same reason I don't go to women's conferences at my church very often.
I thought that was kind of awesome. Rebecca’s got some spirit that’s for sure!