I think the best part of this, is making me realize my slow loves are my friends the people that have always been there for me. It just reestablished for me that love isn’t always “love” but has many forms. Thank you for the vid it helps during these tough times
Thank you for giving my video a chance! 🍀 I can remember the moment I realized I had love for my friends. Life became so much less lonelier. It’s so easy to label yourself as lonely when you’re single but I stopped feeling “single” after I realized I have love. Real love. Of course romantic endeavors will still have to be met with another but I am no longer in a rush. I am so grateful my video helped your darker days 💕 you yourself are a light 💡 embrace the romance and let’s keep loving!!
i always yearned for that kind of love that is a friendship, a shoulder you can truly lean on, someone you can always count on, to laugh until the sun sets, and too confide in when you really need to be seen. i yearn that kind of love that was curiosity at first sight, the inability to stop learning about this new person. i yearn the love that slowly sets in after an afternoon of fun, the one in which i look over at them and im just left there like “oh”, and know that ive fallen. i have that kind of love, and im forever grateful for this genuine and kind and sweet boy, that makes me feel safe and loved and seen. i remember hanging out as friends and just slowly realizing that its him. its always been him since we met.
Yesterday a guy asked me if I want to be his girlfriend. We've known each other for less than a month, and although we've spent quite a lot of time together and he's done so much for me, it still feels a little rushed and I'm not ready for a commitment right now. He said that waiting for too long is not good, and we should make a decision soon. That made me feel as if something was wrong with me. After seeing this video, I realize that I would just prefer falling in love slowly. Thank you for the video ❤
Rushing things especially in love just doesn't feel good. You will just know when you're ready when everything is aligned and you feel comfortable thinking and feeling about it.
I’ve experienced something similar last year, the guy that’s asked me was like: it’s would like to have something serious with you in the future, but I couldn’t answer because we only knew each other for about a month… that didn’t end well, i told him I wanted to know each other but kept rushing into getting closer to me and the moment I said we were not going to get physically together yet( I’m waiting until marriage, you get what I am saying) he pushed me aside and totally mistreated me and that affected me deeply. Thank God I am healing and way better now, and actually with someone who really loves me and who is the opposite( this other person waited before we even discussed our feelings for each other, for almost a year); as someone who has experienced both types of love, I can 100% tell you, that when someone really loves you, doesn’t rush you and waits for you to be ready, respects your boundaries and will make efforts little by little, because love is built with time. ❤
I asked my last gf to be my gf 3 weeks after we met and it was really soon but it was by far the best relationship I’ve ever been. We broke it off because we knew moving so fast would come back to hurt us. From your situation, I assume I’m sort of in the same position as the guy, I was so infatuated with this girl that I couldn’t wait anymore and that ultimately led to the demise of what could have been something great. I’d definitely bring up some stuff in this video to him, could save some tears
Do what feels right, but I think one can also start the commitment of a relationship, if one likes that label, but nonetheless take things slow. You just need to communicate to him what you want, and what you mean with the falling in love slowly thing.
I've noticed that enduring slow love is much more rewarding and, above all, satisfying than fast love. With fast love, you do get that rush of good feelings and emotions, but those emotions are soon replaced by a sense of unfulfillment when you realize you're using that fast love as a substitute for a deeper need. With slow love, you don't place your lover as the paramount figure in your life, nor are they your savior. You're still able to keep your head on your shoulders, and because of that, you recognize areas where you lack and what you need for yourself to be a happy individual-by yourself. And a happy individual equals the potential for a happy relationship.
slow love is the way to go! i’m currently dating a guy right now and we’ve been dating for almost 3 months, and it’s so funny how we’re taking our time to get to know each other and spend time together. we’re slowly meeting each others friends too, he sleeps over couple times a week, and we’re both starting to see all the different sides of each other yet we’re still together haha. there’s not necessarily a dependence too bc we go out about with our days, go to work, hang out with our own friends, and then see each other when we can. idk i feel like we both have some sort of emotional maturity and idk i haven’t dated someone in 3 years so im not used to this ?? but it’s great, doesn’t feel too complicated, and i like where things are going :-)
Congrats on reentering the world of romantic love after your 3 yr hiatus! 🌷 this sounds like a wonderful and mature love. I hope you two continue to keep open ears for each other and the world 🗺️. Happy 2025 🌷!!
what i've learned and research also shows that the first 6 months is often honeymoon phase. i've thought that i should get to know someone for a year to go through all the seasons, getting to know eachother's friends and family to understand eachother's past and present better, with the intention to build slowly to hurt eachother less when it happens ~ without falling too much emotionally/ getting into physical stuff before that ~ it's not easy though as sometimes life is hard and we need eachother as social animals ~ i hope to practise this better and deeper 🙏
Cool video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
It's truly eye-opening for me to hear fast love being described as "getting to deeply know someone at a snapshot in time" vs. slow love being described as "getting to know someone deeply in all their forms across time". I've never understood what it meant to slow down or why it truly mattered -- until now. Thank you.
I second this! My fiancé and I have been together for 4 years, but our relationship started off (to some) super slow! We talked for about 4 months every single day, just taking our time learning about eachother, not rushing into anything. We started dating after and held hands hands a few weeks after but we didn’t kiss until 3 months in; but I was nervous and wanted to take my time 😂 After that we just went and took our time! We enjoyed our time together, and about 2 years in we finally decided to be intimate. However it was always patient, he never complained or pressured me, and never treated me any less for it. Now in 177 days I get to be his wife! I cannot be more excited!! So to this video I truly cannot second it enough. Don’t rush into things! This life goes by so fast, enjoy the moments! In our 4 years together it has FLOWN, it doesn’t feel nearly close to a year so it’s crazy that it’s been as long as it has. With the right person though that is just how time feels! I’m just grateful I get to spend time with him, even if it feels to fast, it’s still the fact we are together! That’s what it’s all about. Enjoy the moments learning about eachother, growing together, laughing together, and just living together. You will never stop learning and growing with your partner but know that good things take time. Relationships are never ending with growth and learning but what a privilege it is!! Time may look different to everyone and that’s ok! My biggest piece of advice though: you cannot love someone else properly if you don’t love yourself first. To love someone else you have to know what love is with yourself 😊 I think it’s also safe to say that in a non romantically context this is great advice for friendships and family. They are also a form of slow love, that really can be building blocks for teaching you how to love; especially loving yourself! It may look different to each person but it all holds equal value and importance 🥺
I thought watching videos like this will give me solution to forget but It made me think about my ex-fiancé more. I still love him so much and can’t imagine moving on without him. I just want him back
Wow. The timing of me seeing this video couldnt be more perfect, I was with a narcissist for 4 years, and when we stopped seeing each other, i found the love of my life, and because i was trauma bonded, i ended up ruining things but i realized my mistake and did all i could to make sure i got her back.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i am in a similar situation, and i do not know what else do to have him back, i have been dying inside, people actually think i am happy, i am not
I feel your pain , after trying out the no contact experiment that failed miserably, i had to find other means, i had to reach out to a spiritual adviser, it was brilliant idea which i never thought it was, but it worked wonders for me
fortunate to say that i learned that quick when i was still 17. 3 years passed being single, and finally recently i have found a feeling so genuine i have never felt it before.
Love is like all words to a degree or another subjective. It’s the communication of the question, “what do you mean when you say look love?” that makes a relationship loving otherwise it’s just a one sided story of egotistical want.
I think it is more so the idea of trying not to overidealize an individual rather than falling in love "slowly". The speed at which this happens doesn't really matter. Of course, prioritize yourself and your responsibilities, but you can still spend a lot of time getting to know someone.
Underrated take. In my opinion, there is no such thing as fast love. Knowing someone, uncovering the many different layers that make up another human being, will always take time. True love happens over time as you go, especially when you find out about their bad habits and it goes from being a simple feeling to a choice.
I’ve started talking to this girl online, and when we first met we probably spent almost every waking moment for 5 straight days talking to each other and now we’ve slowed down a bit but every time we do speak throughout the day it’s like a little sweet treat and I enjoy every single one. We’re going to meet next month for the first time and I’m really excited, I’m sort of glad in a way that the physical distance between us (and our values) keeps our love at a steady slower pace, I think the love we have for each other and our relationship is growing at a steady rate
I can relate to this. Having distance between me and the girl I'm dating has created a slow burn effect that I've decided to just enjoy and take time to get to learn little things about her. We've met once so far and it felt like we've been around eachother for a long time. Having those small moments to send a text or have a nice night call before you both sleep has become such an amazing little sweet treat
It came across my mind when you mentioned a beautiful bow tie versus a shipping tie. Both can be beautiful. A bow tie is made of silk and LOOKS beautiful and yet fragile (doesn't matter how slow or fast we tie, in the end the same results), versus a shipping tie which LOOKS normal yet strong when it takes time to tie it down, and that's where the beauty is deep down on the inside (the quality and the function). Exciting type of content I just came across in my feed. Thank you for easy digesting daily bread.
Thank you for giving my video a chance 🍀! I loved the word you used "function" to further describe the shipping rope metaphor. Because I do see my long term friendships as such. A logical word doesn't take away from the emotional connection. It's a functional love 🌟 I am glad I was able to provide insight people can walk away with. I never thought my words would have such an impact. Thank you for your watching eyes and kind comment 🌷
Your perspective on 'slow love' is so refreshing, Lucy! 💕 Rushing love might feel exciting, but slow love lets us savor the journey and avoid the pitfalls of unmet expectations. Thank you for sharing such thoughtful insights!
wow this was so eye opening. i’m starting to date my friend of 2 years now and we kinda have both slow & fast love. now that we realized we’re such a good match, we’re going a little crazy and moving a bit fast. it’s probably a good idea to step back and take it nice & easy.
Same here! But I'm experiencing slow love rn, the first mth was fast love but now we're busy with our lives but we still keep in touch and talk or text whenever we can...
hank you for giving my video a chance 🍀! I loved the accountability in your comment. No blame of the other partner and no hate. Just pure analysis and intentionality. I am glad I was able to provide insight. I never thought my words would have such an impact. Thank you for your watching eyes and kind comment! 🌷
a weird questions but if somehow you have a multiple crushes, how do you know which one to start to do the slow love? Or am I spoiled or malfunctioning to have multiple crushes ...
1:45 Ugh you explained the difference btwn slow and fast love really well, fast love is exactly what I don’t want in a relationship. I want to be a growing and changing person with someone and not static to a partner/friend. I want someone to know me in my moods and states, when I’m idealistic and also practical. To know me in the ways I have changed over time and the ways that I haven’t changed. I just have a hard time meeting many people that share this sentiment with me today, so it’s discouraging to both want this and also date in today’s society. (I still have some hope tho)
The small love: they are the sweet treat at the end of the day, but we still fulfill the main course which were our responsibilities and ambitions. (A well balanced meal = a well balanced love) This is so true! ❤️
i'm about to go on a date tomorrow for the first time in a while. this video came up very perfectly timed, reminding me to be patient no matter how strong the crush is. thank you lucy.
All consuming love is great when you are young without responsibility, as you get older you realise you need to keep some of yourself separate from a relationship. You still need to sustain your own wants and needs, you never want to leave a relationship having given all of yourself and not know what or who to be without it. Great video ☮️
Mmmhh you definitely young...there's alot you got to learn...there's no perfect guide on how to live life...Slow love is also susceptible to break ups...
I dated a girl for the first time this summer. ironically, the first date was to a bookstore. I went way to fast and she broke it off, even though we had great chemistry and got along really well. I was going for a fast love and looking to hide all of my insecurities and lack of discipline in a relationship.
You’re doing an amazing job of taking that step back and assessing. Congrats on your 1st date!! May you continue to spend time with others who you want to connect with 🌷 Happy 2025 🌟
I am 16 and recently i finished a relationship with a girl that was my best friend, and we really had this beautiful connection, but suddenly both parties just didn´t know what to do. When we entered an official relationship we just felt overwhelmed about everything and it just turned into a mess. Her fears and insecurities played against her favour, and my intense love just didn´t seemed to work. I really wished that we could have been something pretty. But, now that this video appeared suddenly, everything just turned clearer. I don´t know how dumb i was to not see how i was acting, and some of my actions were too overwhelming to my partner. I really want to thank you Lucy for opening my eyes at my very young age, and i really want to thank you again, because you made this video to help understand what this "love" thing is. It is really something scary, but it is indeed, beautiful. We just need to understand it ;)
I think "fast love" is less risky and more common as we get older because we know more about what we want and who we are and are less likely to change.
She told me she loved me 2 weeks in and i really believed it, turns out she was lying and her lie made me love her for real, months later i still ain't over that !!!
@Zoella-xo I dont think she did it with bad intentions at all, i was just unwinding in the comment over there lol, it also felt pretty rushed and stuff... She had plenty of reasons and i am honestly glad for her for leaving, i would NOT forgive myself if i kept someone in a relationship they didn't want... Everyone loves different, some people like myself get attached really easily, you could even say i was doing the "lovebombing" or wathever, but i had no intentions of leaving
I feel like I used to have that tendency of falling in love quickly and often. Don't know when are how that changed. But a year ago I starting talking to this sweet handsome charismatic and kind boy who was my crush at the time, and I'm pretty sure it was love at first sight as some people say. But getting to know him over this past year (as my boyfriend) I would say that I fell in love a second time. But this time it was progressive and deeper, something I've never experienced before. I'm sure is love, slow love, progressing, changing and growing bigger and bigger each day. I'm so so grateful and thankful for it. I really want to cherish it forever. I really hope we can.
Your video resonated deeply with me. I got into a relationship recently with a girl that i had a crush on for quite some time and i boarded the ship immediately when the opportunity came. It sinked quickly as well, and you are right. I barely knew her in the fundamental level and it felt like i was just looking for ways to escape my loneliness in hindsight. A painful lesson but i learned alot as well. Keep up the good content!
The only key thing to highlight is dont mix up slow love with dismissive attachments. Understand why you're taking it slow and what you need to see from them to see how the relationship can grow. My previous breakup made me reflect how self sufficient I am because I grew up not wanting to rely on anyone. But I dont regret breaking up knowing that I know in my heart the relationship was moving too fast with issues still up in there and she was becoming really dependant on me to fullfill her void which given our situation I couldnt fill when I wanted to. Love is difficult. What I can confidently say if you want to find someone and stay loving them long term is 1. At your lowest moment, no matter what its about, they'll support you, even if its about them 2. Find someone outside of people that you love. I think people always forget about this one but its the most critical for a successful relationship with a person. Like a passion for a hobby. A Hobby cant say "i dont love you" its always there to make you feel good and you can work on it to become greater at it. I know therapists would say something like "get a pet" because yeah its honestly the easiest way to make yourself feel better. But it doesnt boost your self confidence. Something that you love doing that helps you grow is when you become more confident in your choices. Which ties into making better decisions for your relationship because you know what you need and also doesnt drown your partner.
Hi, I came across your video and found some of your ideas truly insightful. They helped me better understand the value of waiting for a slow and meaningful love, which is ultimately for the best. It also reminded me of the Biblical teaching: 'Love is patient, love is kind.' On the other hand, I believe that fast love often stems from selfish desires, such as seeking someone to avoid loneliness or to satisfy carnal desires, which sadly tend to fail in the long run. Stay solid guys - wait!
I'm kinda in fast love right now? I'm from Norway and I met this sweet american soldier, who is training in Norway. We really hit it off. And this guy doesn't hesitate to show and tell how much he likes me. He starts thinking about the future, like if I could ever move to america. And I ofc panic a little from how fast everything is going. I tell him just that. I'm open and honest about my feelings. I tell him that I want to take it slow. He understands and calms down a little, but also explaining that showing how much he admires me is how he works. I really like him. And I tell him that. And about 2 days ago, I thought, why not actually make it official? I'm scared that I've kinda jumped into it to quickly, he is my first ever boyfriend. But at the same time, I'm very stubborn about one thing; that my life won't revolve around him, that I won't let this swallow me up. God knows how this work out. Am I mean for thinking about enjoying the present? Am I doomed for, I guess, eating my cake and not my vegetables?
honestly i really needed this, i’ve been struggling to balance my new ‘relationship’ and was putting too much into it and ignoring the other aspects of my life like school, thanks a lot
My boyfriend and I have only been dating for about a month but I have known him for over 7 years. Even then, it has only been 3 months since I started to view him as more than a friend; he claims he has liked me for more than a year. During the beginning of the transition from friend to boyfriend I was confused why it was moving so slowly. (Even now, it’s still moving slow) It wasn’t until my close friends and family told me that I was experiencing a slow burn kind of love. I’ve had two boyfriends before him and each relationship began within mere months of first meeting them. Both relationships were toxic and full of dependency on each other. On the other hand, when you build a long-lasting friendship which blossoms into a relationship you will find that it is so much more stable and there’s a deeper appreciation for your partner. Fast love is a quick fix. Trust me when I say, the slow burn is worth it.
That sounds lovely! 😊 If I may ask - How slow does it start? I'm wondering because, while I am genuinely not pressuring the formation of a relationship if it doesn't work out, it seems like we are very slowly working on planning a date but not calling it that - just hanging out the as the two of us, which we have never done before. I think maybe we are both a bit unsure of what to call it yet but while it is definitely a slow love if it is even one (too much context to give hehe), it definitely isn't like what I read about if you know what I mean😂 like someone asks someone on a date and boom instant love. We definitely are connected and are very similar so there is definitely potential for a relationship eventually. I hope this makes sense 🤣
I’ve never been in a relationship. But I just asked my best friend of 2 years out on a date and now we’re dating, still taking things slow. It’s actually the best feeling in the entire world. I’ve done the superficial lust shit. It’s nothing, absolutely nothing compared to this feeling. I can’t even believe he ‘likes’ me back, and it makes me feel so good. I always knew this is the love I want. This cute real raw shit. He’s seen me at my worst and best and every which way in between, so i don’t have to pretend. He loves me for me. And I for him. 😪💓
I have watched a few videos around this topic but this one resonated with me. The balanced meal and rope/bow analogies are so good. Thank you for taking the time to make this and be vulnerable to share!
Thank you for giving my video a chance! 🍀 I am so grateful my analogies made sense :)) may this year be filled with knots that overtime will prove it’ll withstand the weather changes ☔️ 🌷 happy 2025 🌟
This video resonated so much with me. I truly believe slow love is so much more fulfilling in the long run than fast love. Seeing them grow and change as a person, perhaps as a friend first puts so much of their personality into perspective
I love the metaphors that you’ve used here! When you compared getting to know someone at one point in time versus witnessing their growth and change over a longer period really puts things into perspective for me. It’s not like I never knew that falling head over heels too quickly is unrealistic for the longer term, I just never knew how to deal with the overwhelming emotions & feelings that came with it. I started to avoid putting others on a pedestal and constantly remind myself that the image that I have of them is created by me, and that I’m not seeing the full picture yet, which makes a huge difference. I can like someone without idealising them and it’s beginning to feel easier to have that “well-balanced meal” that you’re talking about!
Thank u for such a calming video! I think this video really made me evaluate my friendships; i’ve grown more open and confident the past year and its led me to trying a lot of new things and meeting new people. I sometimes feel like rushing that connection and just going head first into spending more time with them, “forcing” the deeper and vulnerable conversations. I also noticed that the people i meet nowadays probably see the more confident and secure version of me, but a lot of my high school and early college friends have seen me at my vulnerable, stressed, anxious, and insecure moments. And thats just the nature of building and maintaining long lasting bonds! The beautiful part of staying friends from an early age is seeing multiple versions of each other in so many stages of life, especially the young adult years😓😅 Time is something we never have enough of and are always racing against, and that sorta applies to new friends and connections as well. The people we meet later in life are seeing this current version of ourselves after the length of time has allowed us to grow and evolve. And thats also quite beautiful, but it doesn’t give the full picture of a person, and it just simply takes time and patience to build a strong relationship foundation. Sometimes its sad knowing people dont want to have that patience, but i wonder if social media and the perception of “the next best thing” just makes people want to move on quicker. Im rambling but thanks for this video! I really liked it and now have some material to journal😆
Thank you so much for giving my video a chance! What wonderful news to hear you have been more comfortable with yourself and experiencing the light of life 🌟 People will always see different versions of ourselves because we live through to many deaths of ourselves. WOW your statement of "the full picture of a person" is true. Someone will only see one brush stroke of a singular color when first meeting you. It does take a curiosity on their part and openness on yours for both to see the full painting. In terms of social media, i'm curious to hear more about your viewpoint on that question. I love the rambles! Thank you so much for watching and commenting. It is truly an honor to have been featured in a journal entry. 🌷I hope to continue seeing your name in my notifications. Sending you peace.
As a fellow runner who's always chasing speed, I tend to approach everything in life at a fast pace. However, I've come to realize that true love needs to be taken slowly, and I deeply relate to many points you've made. Your analogy about sugar is spot-on - like taking that special moment to savor a sweet treat at the end of the day without overwhelming our system, we learn to maintain that desire for more while practicing moderation in all aspects of life. This creates a beautiful balance that keeps us coming back for more without excess. Thank you for sharing these insights! Wishing you a wonderful 2025, continued success, and may God continue to watch over you!
this video just popped up for me as i’m currently experiencing a slow love. the spark was there instantly, but it has been months and months of getting to re-learn everything about each other and it’s so amazing to not rush. i was starting to wonder if i’m making this go on too long, but falling back in love with myself and everything around me, as well as really learning true patience and not letting it fully consume me is such a magical feeling. i thank the universe for sending your message to me 🖤
This is something I have been feeling for such a long time. I didn’t know how to explain it, but your explanation is so beautiful and true. I have many ambitions and goals, learned so much patience but there’s always a need for something. I just know I will be patient and not let it rush to me. It’s very hard to not fall into fast love. Thank you.
Wow I haven’t even watched the whole video yet but with the fast love explanation, I didn’t even realize when you get to know everything abt someone so quick, we subconsciously put that person in a box. 👏🏾 great explaining skills 😭
I’m a fast love kind of person, I don’t really understand slow love but you explained it so well. I always rush into things to an extend I forgot to enjoy and relish the moments I have, thankfully I understand it now. Recently, I just broke up and starting to realised my mistakes and rather than punishing myself, I took the steps of wanting to learn and improve myself. This video came at the right timing for me to understand myself. I hope I’m able to rebuild myself again and be a better person than I was before :)
As an older guy, yeah this is it. We all had our share of people making our hearts race, but it only does for some time. Go beyond that, after the lust, find connection in facing everyday life. Find someone that has your back, through and through, that's what makes sense. In this crazy world it's really nice to have blind trust towards someone else.
After running myself too thin, I don't have the energy for direct dating. So, when someone expressed their interest in me, they understood my position and now we're committed to eachother and slowly learning. I want to see this person more and more as more than a friend, but also as a friend. Her liking me in a time when I'm burnt out actually gives me so much hope
i really like the example that people have know u for years, or at least a period of time, will find out the different dimension of you and how will u change under various conditions, thus, they can know what is the true elements inside you. to be honest, few years ago im a result oriented person, even in romantic relationships, but non of these last, it makes me realize, maybe too fast is not a right way to start a relationship. and as you mentioned, love should not be the biggest part in our lives, balance everything is important.
"Love is like a sweet treat, we want to be able to pace ourselves so we don't get sick" ok that didn't have to go so hard 😭 really needed to hear that because in dating i've felt like i shouldn't give a man a chance unless he is absolutely obsessed with me and wanting me almost to the point of desperation... but now i'm trying to relearn and realize that it's ok for things to move slow and to feel things out over time
You are so sweet. The timing of this video is extremely accurate bc i just came home from spending the night at my friend's house for the first time. I've known him for like 5 months now and there's always been this chemistry between us but it's the first time i'm single in years filled with fast loves so with him i want to make sure we create a solid base before rushing into another fast love relationship that, as you say, they always end as quickly as they began. So i take this as a signal to keep appreciating the sweet treats as i keep eating my veggies hehe. Great reflexion 💕
YESSS let’s keep the 🥬 routine going! Thank you for sharing your story! I’m kind of invested 🤭. May this year cultivate a safe space for you two to continue the journey of further developing your friendship (with a sprinkle of sweet romance) 🍰 happy 2025 🌷
You made some really awesome points here. Especially talking about how a love interest shouldn't be the main focus of your life. Your other goals and priorities shouldn't be ignored. Ive made that same mistake and have been disappointed too. I relate to a lot of the themes. So I went for the whole slow love thing, having that distance. Telling people to give me time. But in reality, and in hindsight, I think from the beginning I just wasn't feeling inspired enough by them to want to lock into a relationship. People mistake their idealizations of someone as a "fast love". People mistake their lack of passion for someone, that eventually grows on them, as a "slow love". There's a middle ground here. Love shouldn't be rationed. If two people get along really well, find each other not just "alright," but irresistible, and are in a good state of mind. Then they should surrender themselves to the honesty of their emotions and go for it. The passion will eventually die down. It ebbs and flows. The first year versus the second, right? We've all been there. It's not a bad thing. If you eat enough sugar it won't taste as sweet after a while. So set that expectation. You don't just fall for someone, you fall for the future you mutually envision as well. Stay disciplined and endure the lows, endure the neutrals, and enjoy the highs. Make an effort to stay romantic. Don't get complacent. I went on a long tangent, but this is a great topic so I wanted to make a contribution to the discussion somehow.
I really love this. I feel like nowadays, most people view finding a lover as conquest; they "need that" and they must get as soon as possible or else the person will go away. It's like they want to tie them down and or conquer them for glory. I don't know if that's a good expression...but this is sort of how I view this, especially with the stuff that you see on social media. They spend so much trying to "have" the person then get to know them. I never been in a relationship but I often think about the love that I want to receive hopefully. If a guy looks at me, I wouldn't want them to be like "She's so bad, i just gotta have her". I want some to truly get to be curious about my world. Who I am as a person. Understand me fully. I already have such a natural curiosity for people, so I would like this. I get overwhelmed so easily...so I would love to take things slow. To be loved is to be known.
your video completely changed my perspective on love and my current relationship 🥹😭 thank u so much!! ❤️ ig mine is a fast typa love and now i just saw who he truly is. i thought he has changed but no…it’s just my expectations for him getting higher. what rlly hit me hard is when i realized im starting to neglect my hobbies, interests, friends, family ☹️ im putting my all into this relationship becuz i love so hard…and i never learned how to tone it down. this marks the day where i prioritize my own needs first! 🥰 thank u so much again for your amazing video!! u practically saved our relationship hahahahaha
wow. this is beautiful. i struggled with a lot of chronic mental and emotional issues growing up, so i assumed i was too much for people in the dating scene. i met my current partner a while back and he was the first individual to want to get to know me and meet me where i was. he properly asked me out. fast forward later, we are almost 2 years together. but even then, i would consider this a slow love. i am so used to the fast-paced, quick witted, disastrous love. due to my environment and how relationships were in my childhood, i build this belief that this is how "love" was supposed to be. my partner has met all versions of me and still has all of his cards on the table lol! i still have my moments, wondering when the shoe will drop. there are random occasions where i ask myself "why doesn't this relationship feel like my past ones?" but thankfully, i am self aware of my habits and negative thoughts, so i challenge them. great video!! i loved it :D
This video helped me understand a lot. This year I got out of a fast relationship that I still think about but looking back at it we should have taken our time.
I love this video, thank you so much for sharing these insights so honestly! I've always been a "fast love" kind of person, and I think I'm experiencing slow love for the first time in my life. At times I feel afraid that the person might disappear because the pace is so slow, but, no matter how long it takes, she always returns, and that's something I'm learning to appreciate. It's my own anxiety about checking boxes--by this time we have to be this, and by this age I need to have done that, etc.--that has been weighing me down. Your video made me realize that it might be a good thing to be experiencing something that I never have before. Time and trust might show me a more beautiful story than I have ever seen, if only I have the patience to keep listening! Also, I subscribed! Looking forward to more of your wisdom Lucy!
Thank you for giving my video a chance! 🍀 What a wonderful step it is to take it backward and analyze. Not only the situation, but of your own past habits. Recognizing the pressures of deadlines and anxious thoughts. You are not alone. But you are making a mature decision of not acting rash and allowing your current slow love to speak for itself. I send you peace 🌷 Thank you for your kind comment and subscription! 🌟
Thanks, it's a good reminder to keep some healthy distance. We've been together for a month and it feels like we know each other deeply. It's funny because one month doesn't sound like a long time. But neither of us fall in love like this often so we really wanted to make the most of it and not lose interest. But for the long term obviously we need to take it easy.
All my relationships were slow love. My longest relationship was my most toxic. I married my spouse less than a year after meeting, and I have been so happy. I think it’s just different for different people/relationships.
thank you so much for this explaination now I’m getting better with how i feels and how he feels too will repeat this video more and more to remind me how it feels to be in slow love 💚
Its a great video overall with the ambience, music, and sound quality, the topic researched is important to discuss too since not a lot of creator talking about it, but it does make me learn a lot, thank you :D
this is so much needed and appreciated for different generations 🙏 what i've learned and research also shows that the first 6 months is often honeymoon phase when there might be more of illusions about eachother's romantic ideal sides on the good days i've thought for quite a long while that i should get to know someone for a year to go through all the seasons, getting to know eachother's friends and family to understand eachother's past and present better, with the intention to build slowly to hurt eachother less when it happens ~ without falling too much emotionally/ getting into physical stuff before that ~ it's not easy though as sometimes life is hard and we need eachother as social animals ~ i hope to practise this better and deeper 🙏
The silk vs shipping rope made me laugh -- it's a very good analogy! Maintaining slow friendships feels so special, especially as the years have added up in the long run.
Love is not like a treat. A treat can be like something to make you feel better, but Love is not a feeling. Love is a Choice to Love, it is a Gift, you either got It or you do not. If you got It, you can give It. Love does not depend on emotion or how you feel, Love is enduring to love forever, even in the midst of the worst torment and suffering, for the sake of Love. Love is not able to be put into Words. You cannot comprehend it with the intellect, nor can you know a person intellectually. You can know who someone is on the intellectual knowledge level, but true knowledge comes through experience of that person, and you cannot read that in a book or gain that experience by answering the right questions.
Absolutely amazing video, I recently got into a relationship a couple weeks ago and im noticing my parter is fast loving while i realised im slow loving, she sometimes thinks im losing attention for her but im js slowly admiring her, ill definitely send this to her 😊❤ Youve earned a sub 😅
The way i needed thisss! My partner of 3 years and i broke up in November last year. I started 2025 off with someone that i really like and I've been struggling to figure out if its infatuation or love, or just me liking him. I don't want to be in another relationship but i feel for him i would forget that... But this video gave me a different perspective. Thank you❤
I used to be the type to always rush into deeply falling fast in love with people without fully understanding who they are as a person. Now, I’ve been more focused on letting things be when it comes to love. If something happens I’ll acknowledge it, but won’t reciprocate until I know for certain. The slow and steady pace of love is the best path to follow.
I am in the process of doing just this! I am taking things so so slowly! We met. We clicked. Sort of soul mates feeling. So many things in common.. she makes my brain go to a stop. I think of nothing while with her. 0 thoughts. And she too! We spent the afternoon cuddling with 0 thoughts in complete silence. Love it! ❤ I wish people were doing more of this! Ps, I did understand this 2 heartbreaks later
I love her so much, in fact I never meet her in real life. I fall in love with her personality. She is so unique, and that is what sets her apart from other girls, and because of that she makes other girls become unattractive. I want to do life with her, it is so complex within me when I realised I'm not gonna fall in love with someone, yet I fall for her. I want to take things slow, I always said to her that we will have so much time together, not just tomorrow but for the rest of our lives, because I want to commit to her and just in case I get bored, I'm not gonna run away, I will choose to stay with her and we can find a way to spice things up. But long distance it isnt for everyone, she said she's not ready to do it, I can't blame her and somehow I should respect her decision. For the first time in my life, my life was colorful for a moment when she was around. I hope I can meet her again in the future and when that time come, we will do it right.
Love the way you articulate, and this met me at just the right moment. Currently on the cusp of figuring out what to do with a current crush. I love the reminder to take it a step at a time. The focus being more of building and developing a relationship rather than just trying to get somewhere or even just get something out of the relationship.
Love is like a knot. But knots are made of silk and can be undone. ... Girl what did you smoke to come up with these metaphors and can I have some? In all seriousness, as a person who's never been prone to "fast love" but have seen others do it, this is very illuminating. I feel like I can understand these people a bit better now. Thank you.
Girll I really loved your video, your narrating style amd explaining thoughts so easily yet in an impactful way really resonated with me. Thankyou for this gentle reminder ❤️
I broke up with my first girlfriend back in August and after watching this it brings a lot of clarity as to why it didn't work. She basically fell head over heels for me 2 days into knowing eachother, and i even recognized that was too fast then, but it was my first relationship and i was excited. I started to feel that heavy fatigue (for more reasons than just the fast love) so after a year I broke up with her. I will be keeping this in mind for my next relationship whenever that occurs
Beautifully spoken and in an articulated way that's simple enough to understand. Even though I felt like I knew this already, it wasn't until you shared your thoughts and experiences that I gained a better perspective and understanding. Thank you!
Im an 18 year old boy, and mentally still a kid and i found this video kinda helped me i think in understanding what im doing with this girl im interested in.
I've had my own kind of slow love just a month ago, it's the first that I ever had. It feels like this kind of platonic love that it just feels different in ways that it develops in contrast to fast love. You really do need to keep the balance as it is key to pay attention to the different aspects of life contrary to just one thing alone. We've been looking out for each other and things go well for the both of us, it's a new experience for me and it is beautiful as far as I can say :)
Yo u spitting so hard 😭😭 thanks for this. I really needed to hear all of this, as there’s a potential connection in my life and I’ve been really anxious and this helped me realized because I was taking things too quick in my own head. This was more than insightful
I think the best part of this, is making me realize my slow loves are my friends the people that have always been there for me. It just reestablished for me that love isn’t always “love” but has many forms. Thank you for the vid it helps during these tough times
Thank you for giving my video a chance! 🍀 I can remember the moment I realized I had love for my friends. Life became so much less lonelier. It’s so easy to label yourself as lonely when you’re single but I stopped feeling “single” after I realized I have love. Real love. Of course romantic endeavors will still have to be met with another but I am no longer in a rush. I am so grateful my video helped your darker days 💕 you yourself are a light 💡 embrace the romance and let’s keep loving!!
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.”
1 Corinthians 13:4
Was just thinking about this, great passage
❤❤❤
Bro, the bible really has everything. We just dont be listening.
@@Hector_FilmSchool true
Who’s author of the book?
i always yearned for that kind of love that is a friendship, a shoulder you can truly lean on, someone you can always count on, to laugh until the sun sets, and too confide in when you really need to be seen. i yearn that kind of love that was curiosity at first sight, the inability to stop learning about this new person.
i yearn the love that slowly sets in after an afternoon of fun, the one in which i look over at them and im just left there like “oh”, and know that ive fallen.
i have that kind of love, and im forever grateful for this genuine and kind and sweet boy, that makes me feel safe and loved and seen.
i remember hanging out as friends and just slowly realizing that its him. its always been him since we met.
This is so sweet omg 😭 I hope your love comes to fruition! All the best in your discovery of feelings 💗
I'm slowly catching feelings for a twelve gauge
This is literally so poetic and a reflection of how much of a amazing soul you are I'm taking this as a inspo for my lil writings:)
This made me cry. I wish you guys the best.
good luck bro friends to lovers is the best trope
scarily perfect timing
I personally don't believe in coincidences 🍀😳 Sending you luck and peace 🌷
Fr
was just abt to comment this, very grateful for this video
For me too
Same
“love is a well-balanced meal.” poetry. pure poetry.
Yesterday a guy asked me if I want to be his girlfriend. We've known each other for less than a month, and although we've spent quite a lot of time together and he's done so much for me, it still feels a little rushed and I'm not ready for a commitment right now. He said that waiting for too long is not good, and we should make a decision soon. That made me feel as if something was wrong with me. After seeing this video, I realize that I would just prefer falling in love slowly. Thank you for the video ❤
Rushing things especially in love just doesn't feel good. You will just know when you're ready when everything is aligned and you feel comfortable thinking and feeling about it.
Love is patient and kind, to be honest with you that might be a red flag in the guy look further into his character
I’ve experienced something similar last year, the guy that’s asked me was like: it’s would like to have something serious with you in the future, but I couldn’t answer because we only knew each other for about a month… that didn’t end well, i told him I wanted to know each other but kept rushing into getting closer to me and the moment I said we were not going to get physically together yet( I’m waiting until marriage, you get what I am saying) he pushed me aside and totally mistreated me and that affected me deeply. Thank God I am healing and way better now, and actually with someone who really loves me and who is the opposite( this other person waited before we even discussed our feelings for each other, for almost a year); as someone who has experienced both types of love, I can 100% tell you, that when someone really loves you, doesn’t rush you and waits for you to be ready, respects your boundaries and will make efforts little by little, because love is built with time. ❤
I asked my last gf to be my gf 3 weeks after we met and it was really soon but it was by far the best relationship I’ve ever been. We broke it off because we knew moving so fast would come back to hurt us. From your situation, I assume I’m sort of in the same position as the guy, I was so infatuated with this girl that I couldn’t wait anymore and that ultimately led to the demise of what could have been something great. I’d definitely bring up some stuff in this video to him, could save some tears
Do what feels right, but I think one can also start the commitment of a relationship, if one likes that label, but nonetheless take things slow. You just need to communicate to him what you want, and what you mean with the falling in love slowly thing.
I've noticed that enduring slow love is much more rewarding and, above all, satisfying than fast love. With fast love, you do get that rush of good feelings and emotions, but those emotions are soon replaced by a sense of unfulfillment when you realize you're using that fast love as a substitute for a deeper need. With slow love, you don't place your lover as the paramount figure in your life, nor are they your savior. You're still able to keep your head on your shoulders, and because of that, you recognize areas where you lack and what you need for yourself to be a happy individual-by yourself. And a happy individual equals the potential for a happy relationship.
Exactly satisfying 👌🏻🤍
slow love is the way to go! i’m currently dating a guy right now and we’ve been dating for almost 3 months, and it’s so funny how we’re taking our time to get to know each other and spend time together. we’re slowly meeting each others friends too, he sleeps over couple times a week, and we’re both starting to see all the different sides of each other yet we’re still together haha. there’s not necessarily a dependence too bc we go out about with our days, go to work, hang out with our own friends, and then see each other when we can. idk i feel like we both have some sort of emotional maturity and idk i haven’t dated someone in 3 years so im not used to this ?? but it’s great, doesn’t feel too complicated, and i like where things are going :-)
happy for you!
Congrats on reentering the world of romantic love after your 3 yr hiatus! 🌷 this sounds like a wonderful and mature love. I hope you two continue to keep open ears for each other and the world 🗺️. Happy 2025 🌷!!
This is great. Wishing y'all the best👍🏾
what i've learned and research also shows that the first 6 months is often honeymoon phase. i've thought that i should get to know someone for a year to go through all the seasons, getting to know eachother's friends and family to understand eachother's past and present better, with the intention to build slowly to hurt eachother less when it happens ~ without falling too much emotionally/ getting into physical stuff before that ~ it's not easy though as sometimes life is hard and we need eachother as social animals ~ i hope to practise this better and deeper 🙏
@heyaiamcam yes this is what I'm looking to do to
Cool video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
It's truly eye-opening for me to hear fast love being described as "getting to deeply know someone at a snapshot in time" vs. slow love being described as "getting to know someone deeply in all their forms across time". I've never understood what it meant to slow down or why it truly mattered -- until now. Thank you.
love is patient, love is kind
Amen
I second this! My fiancé and I have been together for 4 years, but our relationship started off (to some) super slow! We talked for about 4 months every single day, just taking our time learning about eachother, not rushing into anything. We started dating after and held hands hands a few weeks after but we didn’t kiss until 3 months in; but I was nervous and wanted to take my time 😂
After that we just went and took our time! We enjoyed our time together, and about 2 years in we finally decided to be intimate. However it was always patient, he never complained or pressured me, and never treated me any less for it. Now in 177 days I get to be his wife! I cannot be more excited!!
So to this video I truly cannot second it enough. Don’t rush into things! This life goes by so fast, enjoy the moments! In our 4 years together it has FLOWN, it doesn’t feel nearly close to a year so it’s crazy that it’s been as long as it has. With the right person though that is just how time feels! I’m just grateful I get to spend time with him, even if it feels to fast, it’s still the fact we are together! That’s what it’s all about. Enjoy the moments learning about eachother, growing together, laughing together, and just living together. You will never stop learning and growing with your partner but know that good things take time. Relationships are never ending with growth and learning but what a privilege it is!! Time may look different to everyone and that’s ok! My biggest piece of advice though: you cannot love someone else properly if you don’t love yourself first. To love someone else you have to know what love is with yourself 😊
I think it’s also safe to say that in a non romantically context this is great advice for friendships and family. They are also a form of slow love, that really can be building blocks for teaching you how to love; especially loving yourself! It may look different to each person but it all holds equal value and importance 🥺
perfectly put
I love this, it’s far more better than those Wattpad dreams romance story. Godspeed to you and your beau 🔥🤍
4 months is already slow? Me and my better half were on that boat for almost 3 years. This generation is so impatient.
I thought watching videos like this will give me solution to forget but It made me think about my ex-fiancé more. I still love him so much and can’t imagine moving on without him. I just want him back
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’ve been in a similar situation, and I know how painful it is
Did you find a way to get your partner back? I feel so lost
I did. I reached out to Father Akabu. He’s a spiritual counselor who helps people restore broken relationships. He’s truly amazing
Do you think he could help me too? I just want my fiancé back so badly
I’m confident he can. He’s helped so many people like us. You can look him up he’s truly gifted
Wow. The timing of me seeing this video couldnt be more perfect, I was with a narcissist for 4 years, and when we stopped seeing each other, i found the love of my life, and because i was trauma bonded, i ended up ruining things but i realized my mistake and did all i could to make sure i got her back.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i am in a similar situation, and i do not know what else do to have him back, i have been dying inside, people actually think i am happy, i am not
I feel your pain , after trying out the no contact experiment that failed miserably, i had to find other means, i had to reach out to a spiritual adviser, it was brilliant idea which i never thought it was, but it worked wonders for me
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him/ her?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
This generation doesn’t know what love is it’s just lust
Hopefully we can be the ones to change that 🌷
Sadly most of the people just wanna hock up.
fortunate to say that i learned that quick when i was still 17. 3 years passed being single, and finally recently i have found a feeling so genuine i have never felt it before.
Love is like all words to a degree or another subjective. It’s the communication of the question, “what do you mean when you say look love?” that makes a relationship loving otherwise it’s just a one sided story of egotistical want.
Add limerence and you’ve got a delicious recipe.
I think it is more so the idea of trying not to overidealize an individual rather than falling in love "slowly". The speed at which this happens doesn't really matter. Of course, prioritize yourself and your responsibilities, but you can still spend a lot of time getting to know someone.
Underrated take. In my opinion, there is no such thing as fast love. Knowing someone, uncovering the many different layers that make up another human being, will always take time. True love happens over time as you go, especially when you find out about their bad habits and it goes from being a simple feeling to a choice.
I’ve started talking to this girl online, and when we first met we probably spent almost every waking moment for 5 straight days talking to each other and now we’ve slowed down a bit but every time we do speak throughout the day it’s like a little sweet treat and I enjoy every single one. We’re going to meet next month for the first time and I’m really excited, I’m sort of glad in a way that the physical distance between us (and our values) keeps our love at a steady slower pace, I think the love we have for each other and our relationship is growing at a steady rate
^_^
I can relate to this. Having distance between me and the girl I'm dating has created a slow burn effect that I've decided to just enjoy and take time to get to learn little things about her. We've met once so far and it felt like we've been around eachother for a long time. Having those small moments to send a text or have a nice night call before you both sleep has become such an amazing little sweet treat
looooooooool
It came across my mind when you mentioned a beautiful bow tie versus a shipping tie. Both can be beautiful. A bow tie is made of silk and LOOKS beautiful and yet fragile (doesn't matter how slow or fast we tie, in the end the same results), versus a shipping tie which LOOKS normal yet strong when it takes time to tie it down, and that's where the beauty is deep down on the inside (the quality and the function). Exciting type of content I just came across in my feed. Thank you for easy digesting daily bread.
Thank you for giving my video a chance 🍀! I loved the word you used "function" to further describe the shipping rope metaphor. Because I do see my long term friendships as such. A logical word doesn't take away from the emotional connection. It's a functional love 🌟
I am glad I was able to provide insight people can walk away with. I never thought my words would have such an impact. Thank you for your watching eyes and kind comment 🌷
Your perspective on 'slow love' is so refreshing, Lucy! 💕 Rushing love might feel exciting, but slow love lets us savor the journey and avoid the pitfalls of unmet expectations. Thank you for sharing such thoughtful insights!
wow this was so eye opening. i’m starting to date my friend of 2 years now and we kinda have both slow & fast love. now that we realized we’re such a good match, we’re going a little crazy and moving a bit fast. it’s probably a good idea to step back and take it nice & easy.
Same here! But I'm experiencing slow love rn, the first mth was fast love but now we're busy with our lives but we still keep in touch and talk or text whenever we can...
hank you for giving my video a chance 🍀! I loved the accountability in your comment. No blame of the other partner and no hate. Just pure analysis and intentionality.
I am glad I was able to provide insight. I never thought my words would have such an impact. Thank you for your watching eyes and kind comment! 🌷
We love finding love and keeping it while life goes on! 🌺
a weird questions but if somehow you have a multiple crushes, how do you know which one to start to do the slow love? Or am I spoiled or malfunctioning to have multiple crushes ...
@@bisaiya87nah it’s normal to have multiple just pick one
1:45 Ugh you explained the difference btwn slow and fast love really well, fast love is exactly what I don’t want in a relationship. I want to be a growing and changing person with someone and not static to a partner/friend. I want someone to know me in my moods and states, when I’m idealistic and also practical. To know me in the ways I have changed over time and the ways that I haven’t changed. I just have a hard time meeting many people that share this sentiment with me today, so it’s discouraging to both want this and also date in today’s society. (I still have some hope tho)
The Lord will provide you with a partner or friend that will adhere to your wishes and heart desires.🙏
The small love: they are the sweet treat at the end of the day, but we still fulfill the main course which were our responsibilities and ambitions. (A well balanced meal = a well balanced love) This is so true! ❤️
i'm about to go on a date tomorrow for the first time in a while. this video came up very perfectly timed, reminding me to be patient no matter how strong the crush is. thank you lucy.
All consuming love is great when you are young without responsibility, as you get older you realise you need to keep some of yourself separate from a relationship. You still need to sustain your own wants and needs, you never want to leave a relationship having given all of yourself and not know what or who to be without it.
Great video ☮️
Mmmhh you definitely young...there's alot you got to learn...there's no perfect guide on how to live life...Slow love is also susceptible to break ups...
I dated a girl for the first time this summer. ironically, the first date was to a bookstore. I went way to fast and she broke it off, even though we had great chemistry and got along really well. I was going for a fast love and looking to hide all of my insecurities and lack of discipline in a relationship.
Thanks foe sharing your experience! This was helpful in helping me understand fast love
You’re doing an amazing job of taking that step back and assessing. Congrats on your 1st date!! May you continue to spend time with others who you want to connect with 🌷 Happy 2025 🌟
Love this self awareness. I was the woman in this situation and it was so painful bc I liked them but was so overwhelmed
I am 16 and recently i finished a relationship with a girl that was my best friend, and we really had this beautiful connection, but suddenly both parties just didn´t know what to do. When we entered an official relationship we just felt overwhelmed about everything and it just turned into a mess. Her fears and insecurities played against her favour, and my intense love just didn´t seemed to work. I really wished that we could have been something pretty. But, now that this video appeared suddenly, everything just turned clearer. I don´t know how dumb i was to not see how i was acting, and some of my actions were too overwhelming to my partner. I really want to thank you Lucy for opening my eyes at my very young age, and i really want to thank you again, because you made this video to help understand what this "love" thing is. It is really something scary, but it is indeed, beautiful. We just need to understand it ;)
I think "fast love" is less risky and more common as we get older because we know more about what we want and who we are and are less likely to change.
She told me she loved me 2 weeks in and i really believed it, turns out she was lying and her lie made me love her for real, months later i still ain't over that !!!
I had a similar experience. At this point i despise love bombers
@Zoella-xo I dont think she did it with bad intentions at all, i was just unwinding in the comment over there lol, it also felt pretty rushed and stuff... She had plenty of reasons and i am honestly glad for her for leaving, i would NOT forgive myself if i kept someone in a relationship they didn't want...
Everyone loves different, some people like myself get attached really easily, you could even say i was doing the "lovebombing" or wathever, but i had no intentions of leaving
I love the self reflection in this comment ^ 🌟 may this year allow the opportunities to connect with people who resonate 🌷 happy 2025 🌟
@@lucyvolume Thank you Lucy !!!! Happy 2025 to you and loved ones, too !!!
this video is crazy timely for me actually wow.
Thank you for giving my video a chance!🍀 May this year bring you connections who you resonate with 🌷 happy 2025 🌟
Samee here lolll
I feel like I used to have that tendency of falling in love quickly and often. Don't know when are how that changed. But a year ago I starting talking to this sweet handsome charismatic and kind boy who was my crush at the time, and I'm pretty sure it was love at first sight as some people say. But getting to know him over this past year (as my boyfriend) I would say that I fell in love a second time. But this time it was progressive and deeper, something I've never experienced before. I'm sure is love, slow love, progressing, changing and growing bigger and bigger each day. I'm so so grateful and thankful for it. I really want to cherish it forever. I really hope we can.
dont know why but it made me cry... 😭
Your video resonated deeply with me. I got into a relationship recently with a girl that i had a crush on for quite some time and i boarded the ship immediately when the opportunity came. It sinked quickly as well, and you are right. I barely knew her in the fundamental level and it felt like i was just looking for ways to escape my loneliness in hindsight. A painful lesson but i learned alot as well. Keep up the good content!
The only key thing to highlight is dont mix up slow love with dismissive attachments. Understand why you're taking it slow and what you need to see from them to see how the relationship can grow.
My previous breakup made me reflect how self sufficient I am because I grew up not wanting to rely on anyone. But I dont regret breaking up knowing that I know in my heart the relationship was moving too fast with issues still up in there and she was becoming really dependant on me to fullfill her void which given our situation I couldnt fill when I wanted to.
Love is difficult. What I can confidently say if you want to find someone and stay loving them long term is
1. At your lowest moment, no matter what its about, they'll support you, even if its about them
2. Find someone outside of people that you love. I think people always forget about this one but its the most critical for a successful relationship with a person. Like a passion for a hobby. A Hobby cant say "i dont love you" its always there to make you feel good and you can work on it to become greater at it.
I know therapists would say something like "get a pet" because yeah its honestly the easiest way to make yourself feel better. But it doesnt boost your self confidence. Something that you love doing that helps you grow is when you become more confident in your choices. Which ties into making better decisions for your relationship because you know what you need and also doesnt drown your partner.
Hi, I came across your video and found some of your ideas truly insightful. They helped me better understand the value of waiting for a slow and meaningful love, which is ultimately for the best. It also reminded me of the Biblical teaching: 'Love is patient, love is kind.'
On the other hand, I believe that fast love often stems from selfish desires, such as seeking someone to avoid loneliness or to satisfy carnal desires, which sadly tend to fail in the long run. Stay solid guys - wait!
I'm kinda in fast love right now? I'm from Norway and I met this sweet american soldier, who is training in Norway. We really hit it off. And this guy doesn't hesitate to show and tell how much he likes me. He starts thinking about the future, like if I could ever move to america. And I ofc panic a little from how fast everything is going. I tell him just that. I'm open and honest about my feelings. I tell him that I want to take it slow. He understands and calms down a little, but also explaining that showing how much he admires me is how he works. I really like him. And I tell him that. And about 2 days ago, I thought, why not actually make it official? I'm scared that I've kinda jumped into it to quickly, he is my first ever boyfriend. But at the same time, I'm very stubborn about one thing; that my life won't revolve around him, that I won't let this swallow me up. God knows how this work out. Am I mean for thinking about enjoying the present? Am I doomed for, I guess, eating my cake and not my vegetables?
So it’s long distance as ur first relationship?
I wish u very good luck since it’s rlly rlly hard to maintain (speaking out of experience)
The moment i saw this video, i was so down for it. The location, the aesthetic filter, the vintage music & are we talking about love? PERFECTTTTT ✨
honestly i really needed this, i’ve been struggling to balance my new ‘relationship’ and was putting too much into it and ignoring the other aspects of my life like school, thanks a lot
My boyfriend and I have only been dating for about a month but I have known him for over 7 years. Even then, it has only been 3 months since I started to view him as more than a friend; he claims he has liked me for more than a year. During the beginning of the transition from friend to boyfriend I was confused why it was moving so slowly. (Even now, it’s still moving slow) It wasn’t until my close friends and family told me that I was experiencing a slow burn kind of love. I’ve had two boyfriends before him and each relationship began within mere months of first meeting them. Both relationships were toxic and full of dependency on each other. On the other hand, when you build a long-lasting friendship which blossoms into a relationship you will find that it is so much more stable and there’s a deeper appreciation for your partner. Fast love is a quick fix. Trust me when I say, the slow burn is worth it.
That sounds lovely! 😊 If I may ask - How slow does it start? I'm wondering because, while I am genuinely not pressuring the formation of a relationship if it doesn't work out, it seems like we are very slowly working on planning a date but not calling it that - just hanging out the as the two of us, which we have never done before. I think maybe we are both a bit unsure of what to call it yet but while it is definitely a slow love if it is even one (too much context to give hehe), it definitely isn't like what I read about if you know what I mean😂 like someone asks someone on a date and boom instant love.
We definitely are connected and are very similar so there is definitely potential for a relationship eventually. I hope this makes sense 🤣
I’ve never been in a relationship. But I just asked my best friend of 2 years out on a date and now we’re dating, still taking things slow. It’s actually the best feeling in the entire world. I’ve done the superficial lust shit. It’s nothing, absolutely nothing compared to this feeling. I can’t even believe he ‘likes’ me back, and it makes me feel so good. I always knew this is the love I want. This cute real raw shit. He’s seen me at my worst and best and every which way in between, so i don’t have to pretend. He loves me for me. And I for him. 😪💓
The loss of a relationship built from slow love has sent me down the rabbit hole of relationship content on youtube.
I have watched a few videos around this topic but this one resonated with me. The balanced meal and rope/bow analogies are so good. Thank you for taking the time to make this and be vulnerable to share!
Thank you for giving my video a chance! 🍀 I am so grateful my analogies made sense :)) may this year be filled with knots that overtime will prove it’ll withstand the weather changes ☔️ 🌷 happy 2025 🌟
This video resonated so much with me. I truly believe slow love is so much more fulfilling in the long run than fast love. Seeing them grow and change as a person, perhaps as a friend first puts so much of their personality into perspective
I love the metaphors that you’ve used here! When you compared getting to know someone at one point in time versus witnessing their growth and change over a longer period really puts things into perspective for me. It’s not like I never knew that falling head over heels too quickly is unrealistic for the longer term, I just never knew how to deal with the overwhelming emotions & feelings that came with it. I started to avoid putting others on a pedestal and constantly remind myself that the image that I have of them is created by me, and that I’m not seeing the full picture yet, which makes a huge difference. I can like someone without idealising them and it’s beginning to feel easier to have that “well-balanced meal” that you’re talking about!
Thank u for such a calming video! I think this video really made me evaluate my friendships; i’ve grown more open and confident the past year and its led me to trying a lot of new things and meeting new people. I sometimes feel like rushing that connection and just going head first into spending more time with them, “forcing” the deeper and vulnerable conversations.
I also noticed that the people i meet nowadays probably see the more confident and secure version of me, but a lot of my high school and early college friends have seen me at my vulnerable, stressed, anxious, and insecure moments. And thats just the nature of building and maintaining long lasting bonds! The beautiful part of staying friends from an early age is seeing multiple versions of each other in so many stages of life, especially the young adult years😓😅 Time is something we never have enough of and are always racing against, and that sorta applies to new friends and connections as well. The people we meet later in life are seeing this current version of ourselves after the length of time has allowed us to grow and evolve. And thats also quite beautiful, but it doesn’t give the full picture of a person, and it just simply takes time and patience to build a strong relationship foundation. Sometimes its sad knowing people dont want to have that patience, but i wonder if social media and the perception of “the next best thing” just makes people want to move on quicker.
Im rambling but thanks for this video! I really liked it and now have some material to journal😆
Thank you so much for giving my video a chance! What wonderful news to hear you have been more comfortable with yourself and experiencing the light of life 🌟
People will always see different versions of ourselves because we live through to many deaths of ourselves. WOW your statement of "the full picture of a person" is true. Someone will only see one brush stroke of a singular color when first meeting you. It does take a curiosity on their part and openness on yours for both to see the full painting.
In terms of social media, i'm curious to hear more about your viewpoint on that question.
I love the rambles! Thank you so much for watching and commenting. It is truly an honor to have been featured in a journal entry. 🌷I hope to continue seeing your name in my notifications. Sending you peace.
As a fellow runner who's always chasing speed, I tend to approach everything in life at a fast pace. However, I've come to realize that true love needs to be taken slowly, and I deeply relate to many points you've made. Your analogy about sugar is spot-on - like taking that special moment to savor a sweet treat at the end of the day without overwhelming our system, we learn to maintain that desire for more while practicing moderation in all aspects of life. This creates a beautiful balance that keeps us coming back for more without excess.
Thank you for sharing these insights! Wishing you a wonderful 2025, continued success, and may God continue to watch over you!
this video just popped up for me as i’m currently experiencing a slow love. the spark was there instantly, but it has been months and months of getting to re-learn everything about each other and it’s so amazing to not rush. i was starting to wonder if i’m making this go on too long, but falling back in love with myself and everything around me, as well as really learning true patience and not letting it fully consume me is such a magical feeling. i thank the universe for sending your message to me 🖤
This is something I have been feeling for such a long time. I didn’t know how to explain it, but your explanation is so beautiful and true. I have many ambitions and goals, learned so much patience but there’s always a need for something. I just know I will be patient and not let it rush to me. It’s very hard to not fall into fast love. Thank you.
Wow I haven’t even watched the whole video yet but with the fast love explanation, I didn’t even realize when you get to know everything abt someone so quick, we subconsciously put that person in a box. 👏🏾 great explaining skills 😭
I’m a fast love kind of person, I don’t really understand slow love but you explained it so well. I always rush into things to an extend I forgot to enjoy and relish the moments I have, thankfully I understand it now.
Recently, I just broke up and starting to realised my mistakes and rather than punishing myself, I took the steps of wanting to learn and improve myself. This video came at the right timing for me to understand myself.
I hope I’m able to rebuild myself again and be a better person than I was before :)
This just reminded me of something! This book called “The Seduction Alchemy by Sophie Carter”. My confidence shifted in a whole new way.
Are you a bot?? I've seen some bots recommending this book here and there without context
Plus, the fact you've joined 1 day ago
OK DETECTIVE 🌟🌷
@@srishti_s I've read the book and I have nothing but praise for it. Anyone interested should give it a read.
Literally what I’ve been journaling and thinking about, the timing of this video is crazy!
As an older guy, yeah this is it. We all had our share of people making our hearts race, but it only does for some time. Go beyond that, after the lust, find connection in facing everyday life. Find someone that has your back, through and through, that's what makes sense. In this crazy world it's really nice to have blind trust towards someone else.
May true eternal genuine love rain over all of those who watch this video and the wonderful woman who made this video 🙏
After running myself too thin, I don't have the energy for direct dating. So, when someone expressed their interest in me, they understood my position and now we're committed to eachother and slowly learning. I want to see this person more and more as more than a friend, but also as a friend. Her liking me in a time when I'm burnt out actually gives me so much hope
i really like the example that people have know u for years, or at least a period of time, will find out the different dimension of you and how will u change under various conditions, thus, they can know what is the true elements inside you. to be honest, few years ago im a result oriented person, even in romantic relationships, but non of these last, it makes me realize, maybe too fast is not a right way to start a relationship. and as you mentioned, love should not be the biggest part in our lives, balance everything is important.
"Love is like a sweet treat, we want to be able to pace ourselves so we don't get sick" ok that didn't have to go so hard 😭 really needed to hear that because in dating i've felt like i shouldn't give a man a chance unless he is absolutely obsessed with me and wanting me almost to the point of desperation... but now i'm trying to relearn and realize that it's ok for things to move slow and to feel things out over time
Thank you for your support! 🌷 hoping to see you more in the comments. Please lmk what next to talk about🌟 Sending peace 🍀
You are so sweet. The timing of this video is extremely accurate bc i just came home from spending the night at my friend's house for the first time. I've known him for like 5 months now and there's always been this chemistry between us but it's the first time i'm single in years filled with fast loves so with him i want to make sure we create a solid base before rushing into another fast love relationship that, as you say, they always end as quickly as they began. So i take this as a signal to keep appreciating the sweet treats as i keep eating my veggies hehe. Great reflexion 💕
YESSS let’s keep the 🥬 routine going! Thank you for sharing your story! I’m kind of invested 🤭. May this year cultivate a safe space for you two to continue the journey of further developing your friendship (with a sprinkle of sweet romance) 🍰 happy 2025 🌷
Love can also be like water, when consumed right. Purely healthy, in the right dises, while also helping you digest the rest of your plate.
Thank you for giving my channel a chance! 🍀 i like your statement about helping with the digestion of life. Sending peace 🌷Happy 2025! 🌟
You made some really awesome points here. Especially talking about how a love interest shouldn't be the main focus of your life. Your other goals and priorities shouldn't be ignored.
Ive made that same mistake and have been disappointed too. I relate to a lot of the themes. So I went for the whole slow love thing, having that distance. Telling people to give me time. But in reality, and in hindsight, I think from the beginning I just wasn't feeling inspired enough by them to want to lock into a relationship.
People mistake their idealizations of someone as a "fast love". People mistake their lack of passion for someone, that eventually grows on them, as a "slow love". There's a middle ground here.
Love shouldn't be rationed. If two people get along really well, find each other not just "alright," but irresistible, and are in a good state of mind. Then they should surrender themselves to the honesty of their emotions and go for it.
The passion will eventually die down. It ebbs and flows. The first year versus the second, right? We've all been there. It's not a bad thing. If you eat enough sugar it won't taste as sweet after a while. So set that expectation. You don't just fall for someone, you fall for the future you mutually envision as well. Stay disciplined and endure the lows, endure the neutrals, and enjoy the highs. Make an effort to stay romantic. Don't get complacent.
I went on a long tangent, but this is a great topic so I wanted to make a contribution to the discussion somehow.
I really love this. I feel like nowadays, most people view finding a lover as conquest; they "need that" and they must get as soon as possible or else the person will go away. It's like they want to tie them down and or conquer them for glory. I don't know if that's a good expression...but this is sort of how I view this, especially with the stuff that you see on social media. They spend so much trying to "have" the person then get to know them. I never been in a relationship but I often think about the love that I want to receive hopefully. If a guy looks at me, I wouldn't want them to be like "She's so bad, i just gotta have her". I want some to truly get to be curious about my world. Who I am as a person. Understand me fully. I already have such a natural curiosity for people, so I would like this. I get overwhelmed so easily...so I would love to take things slow. To be loved is to be known.
never expected to have to hear this advice, but im so thankful for it
your video completely changed my perspective on love and my current relationship 🥹😭 thank u so much!! ❤️ ig mine is a fast typa love and now i just saw who he truly is. i thought he has changed but no…it’s just my expectations for him getting higher. what rlly hit me hard is when i realized im starting to neglect my hobbies, interests, friends, family ☹️ im putting my all into this relationship becuz i love so hard…and i never learned how to tone it down. this marks the day where i prioritize my own needs first! 🥰 thank u so much again for your amazing video!! u practically saved our relationship hahahahaha
wow. this is beautiful. i struggled with a lot of chronic mental and emotional issues growing up, so i assumed i was too much for people in the dating scene. i met my current partner a while back and he was the first individual to want to get to know me and meet me where i was. he properly asked me out. fast forward later, we are almost 2 years together. but even then, i would consider this a slow love. i am so used to the fast-paced, quick witted, disastrous love. due to my environment and how relationships were in my childhood, i build this belief that this is how "love" was supposed to be. my partner has met all versions of me and still has all of his cards on the table lol! i still have my moments, wondering when the shoe will drop. there are random occasions where i ask myself "why doesn't this relationship feel like my past ones?" but thankfully, i am self aware of my habits and negative thoughts, so i challenge them. great video!! i loved it :D
This video helped me understand a lot. This year I got out of a fast relationship that I still think about but looking back at it we should have taken our time.
Thank you for giving my video a chance! 🍀taking a step back and reflecting is truly a blessing itself. Sending you peace🌷happy 2025!🌟
just have to live life, it comes with love in every way; find bonds where it is needed and love will fall in place
I love this video, thank you so much for sharing these insights so honestly! I've always been a "fast love" kind of person, and I think I'm experiencing slow love for the first time in my life. At times I feel afraid that the person might disappear because the pace is so slow, but, no matter how long it takes, she always returns, and that's something I'm learning to appreciate. It's my own anxiety about checking boxes--by this time we have to be this, and by this age I need to have done that, etc.--that has been weighing me down. Your video made me realize that it might be a good thing to be experiencing something that I never have before. Time and trust might show me a more beautiful story than I have ever seen, if only I have the patience to keep listening!
Also, I subscribed! Looking forward to more of your wisdom Lucy!
Thank you for giving my video a chance! 🍀 What a wonderful step it is to take it backward and analyze. Not only the situation, but of your own past habits. Recognizing the pressures of deadlines and anxious thoughts. You are not alone. But you are making a mature decision of not acting rash and allowing your current slow love to speak for itself. I send you peace 🌷 Thank you for your kind comment and subscription! 🌟
I love this video. The analogies are perfect. I relate to this a lot, and it's really eye-opening. Thank you!
The wisdom you have already is insane
I will continue to love love no matter how rarely I see it, love abounds. ❤
How wonderfully put 😭 🌷
04:32 i love the comparison to the main course and the sweet treat
Didn't realised how quickly this video ended ... kindly make more videos like this ...❣️❣️♥️❣️❣️
Thanks, it's a good reminder to keep some healthy distance. We've been together for a month and it feels like we know each other deeply. It's funny because one month doesn't sound like a long time. But neither of us fall in love like this often so we really wanted to make the most of it and not lose interest. But for the long term obviously we need to take it easy.
This articulates my feelings so well
All my relationships were slow love. My longest relationship was my most toxic. I married my spouse less than a year after meeting, and I have been so happy. I think it’s just different for different people/relationships.
0:46 judging from this reaction she must be a blood moon rising in gatorade
thank you so much for this explaination now I’m getting better with how i feels and how he feels too
will repeat this video more and more to remind me how it feels to be in slow love 💚
Its a great video overall with the ambience, music, and sound quality, the topic researched is important to discuss too since not a lot of creator talking about it, but it does make me learn a lot, thank you :D
this is so much needed and appreciated for different generations 🙏
what i've learned and research also shows that the first 6 months is often honeymoon phase when there might be more of illusions about eachother's romantic ideal sides on the good days
i've thought for quite a long while that i should get to know someone for a year to go through all the seasons, getting to know eachother's friends and family to understand eachother's past and present better, with the intention to build slowly to hurt eachother less when it happens ~ without falling too much emotionally/ getting into physical stuff before that ~ it's not easy though as sometimes life is hard and we need eachother as social animals ~ i hope to practise this better and deeper 🙏
The silk vs shipping rope made me laugh -- it's a very good analogy! Maintaining slow friendships feels so special, especially as the years have added up in the long run.
Thank you for giving my video a chance!🍀 I am truly so glad my analogy made sense. Sending peace🌷happy 2025!🌟
Love is not like a treat. A treat can be like something to make you feel better, but Love is not a feeling. Love is a Choice to Love, it is a Gift, you either got It or you do not. If you got It, you can give It. Love does not depend on emotion or how you feel, Love is enduring to love forever, even in the midst of the worst torment and suffering, for the sake of Love. Love is not able to be put into Words. You cannot comprehend it with the intellect, nor can you know a person intellectually. You can know who someone is on the intellectual knowledge level, but true knowledge comes through experience of that person, and you cannot read that in a book or gain that experience by answering the right questions.
Absolutely amazing video, I recently got into a relationship a couple weeks ago and im noticing my parter is fast loving while i realised im slow loving, she sometimes thinks im losing attention for her but im js slowly admiring her, ill definitely send this to her 😊❤ Youve earned a sub 😅
The way i needed thisss!
My partner of 3 years and i broke up in November last year. I started 2025 off with someone that i really like and I've been struggling to figure out if its infatuation or love, or just me liking him. I don't want to be in another relationship but i feel for him i would forget that... But this video gave me a different perspective. Thank you❤
I used to be the type to always rush into deeply falling fast in love with people without fully understanding who they are as a person. Now, I’ve been more focused on letting things be when it comes to love. If something happens I’ll acknowledge it, but won’t reciprocate until I know for certain. The slow and steady pace of love is the best path to follow.
I am in the process of doing just this!
I am taking things so so slowly!
We met. We clicked. Sort of soul mates feeling. So many things in common.. she makes my brain go to a stop. I think of nothing while with her. 0 thoughts. And she too! We spent the afternoon cuddling with 0 thoughts in complete silence. Love it! ❤
I wish people were doing more of this!
Ps, I did understand this 2 heartbreaks later
I love her so much, in fact I never meet her in real life. I fall in love with her personality. She is so unique, and that is what sets her apart from other girls, and because of that she makes other girls become unattractive. I want to do life with her, it is so complex within me when I realised I'm not gonna fall in love with someone, yet I fall for her. I want to take things slow, I always said to her that we will have so much time together, not just tomorrow but for the rest of our lives, because I want to commit to her and just in case I get bored, I'm not gonna run away, I will choose to stay with her and we can find a way to spice things up. But long distance it isnt for everyone, she said she's not ready to do it, I can't blame her and somehow I should respect her decision. For the first time in my life, my life was colorful for a moment when she was around. I hope I can meet her again in the future and when that time come, we will do it right.
Love the way you articulate, and this met me at just the right moment. Currently on the cusp of figuring out what to do with a current crush. I love the reminder to take it a step at a time. The focus being more of building and developing a relationship rather than just trying to get somewhere or even just get something out of the relationship.
Love is like a knot. But knots are made of silk and can be undone.
...
Girl what did you smoke to come up with these metaphors and can I have some?
In all seriousness, as a person who's never been prone to "fast love" but have seen others do it, this is very illuminating. I feel like I can understand these people a bit better now. Thank you.
This video reached me exactly when I needed it so thank you for providing a voice of reason and balance.
Love is a journey, not a race. Let's enjoy the ride and fall in love slowly, one step at a time. #LoveStory ❤️"
Girll I really loved your video, your narrating style amd explaining thoughts so easily yet in an impactful way really resonated with me. Thankyou for this gentle reminder ❤️
I broke up with my first girlfriend back in August and after watching this it brings a lot of clarity as to why it didn't work. She basically fell head over heels for me 2 days into knowing eachother, and i even recognized that was too fast then, but it was my first relationship and i was excited. I started to feel that heavy fatigue (for more reasons than just the fast love) so after a year I broke up with her. I will be keeping this in mind for my next relationship whenever that occurs
Funny how this video found me
I needed this more than ever
Thank you ❤
Beautifully spoken and in an articulated way that's simple enough to understand. Even though I felt like I knew this already, it wasn't until you shared your thoughts and experiences that I gained a better perspective and understanding. Thank you!
this was so lovely to listen to
Im an 18 year old boy, and mentally still a kid and i found this video kinda helped me i think in understanding what im doing with this girl im interested in.
I love your vibe. You seem like a truly genuine person.
this is one of the nicest videos ive seen in a while
2:50 absolute poetry. Gonna use it in the future
good video lucy - currently experiencing a slow love type situation and its been everything i want and more 😃 hopefully it continues!!
Thank you for giving my video a chance🍀! I wish you the best in your slow love and am overjoyed you get to experience it. 🌷🌟
I've had my own kind of slow love just a month ago, it's the first that I ever had. It feels like this kind of platonic love that it just feels different in ways that it develops in contrast to fast love. You really do need to keep the balance as it is key to pay attention to the different aspects of life contrary to just one thing alone. We've been looking out for each other and things go well for the both of us, it's a new experience for me and it is beautiful as far as I can say :)
Yo u spitting so hard 😭😭 thanks for this. I really needed to hear all of this, as there’s a potential connection in my life and I’ve been really anxious and this helped me realized because I was taking things too quick in my own head. This was more than insightful