I think it is important when we are finally allowed to see the old scars... [Spoilers for 3x8 below] : In the last episode, beginning about timestamp 30, the scars from old self-harms are revealed clearly. It's an important moment, since for the first time, Charlie allows his shirt to come off just before the guys begin to make love. 🩷💜💙
14:20 the joke refers to the world's oldest known customer complaint, inscribed in a clay tablet from Mesopotamia, written around 1750 BCE documenting a delivery of the incorrect grade of copper ingots and issues with another delivery.
I' m so sorry for Tori as Nick rushes back to hug Charlie after his self-harming. She must have helped him clean up and recover from the incident and that cannot be easy no matter how much it may sometimes be expected. And pretty sure his parents weren't advised of this one, or there'd be more trouble going on.
the novel "solitaire" also by alice oseman, actually shows the same event from that night but this time from tori's perspective. there's also a audiobook for the novel which hurts even more hearing the voice actors portray that particular scene
I had so many scars growing up due to living in the country and having really bad excoriation tendencies. It made me always want to cover up and made me so insecure when it came to intimacy. It wasn’t until I started getting tattoos and reclaiming my skin that I finally got comfortable and stopped caring. I wish so much that a show like this was around when I was a teenager. Maybe I would have been able to work through this pain much earlier and learned to me confident in my own skin. I am so grateful this show exists so that teens and future generations don’t have to suffer like I did ❤
It made me laugh how you spent one sentence talking about the Elle situation on the radio show and like three minutes just swooning over Jonathan Bailey lmao Great video, as always. (And I couldn't agree more, I LOVE Geoff! I felt warm and held just by watching those therapy scenes.)
13:39 Correct! I saw him live when he was at the 92Y in New York City (with Matt Bomer) I am 99% sure that everyone in the audience spontaneously sprouted pigtails and started twirling them coyly.
13:45 Also I must confess he didn’t register for me until a year ago with Fellow Travelers. That’s when something clicked and I’ve been respectfully smitten ever since. He also narrated this fantastic special on BBC Radio 2 called The Showstopper, about AIDS in the West End Theater community in the 80s and 90s. I was able to track down the original broadcast on the Internet Archive, download it, and isolate it for future listening on my Soundcloud. It’s a real tear jerker but it’s just so beautiful. Happy to send along a link to it!
15:27 And yes! Although fair warning, the show is devastating and it’s good to watch it with someone. I’m still reading through the book, admittedly it’s not as Tim & Hawk focused as you’d think. Queer Serial and Making Gay History are both excellent podcasts for learning about the time period in the US.
@@anthonyorsiniWhat’s so strange is that, while I definitely think he’s attractive, I’m really more charmed by his overall character. Especially since I’m not that energetic and positive, and very much would like to be - so he’s kind of a role model for me in that sense. Granted, I still have no idea how he manages it…
@@JohnFallotAgeee completely. He's incredibly charismatic in real life. I always enjoy his interviews and other social media appearances as himself. You can tell he's a great person!
"If you can't love yourself, how the hell you gonna love anyone else?" You know, I only ever heard that other version that went, "if you don't love yourself, how is anyone else going to love you?" And I think what you said makes a lot more sense. There have been people who loved me even when I hated myself. They taught me to love myself, and then, in turn, I was able to love them back. It's the difference of one saying if you don't better yourself no one is going to like you, vs saying that only by bettering yourself can you help others around you.
You're right that the other version of the phrase isn't very truthful. However, I think it should be tweaked a little: "If you don't love yourself, how are you supposed to believe that somebody else loves you?" Which I think rings a lot more true for a lot of people. It can indeed be very difficult, if not near impossible in some cases, to form lasting, healthy, mutual relationships if one hates oneself or believes oneself unloveable.
I love your reactions and commentary on Heartstopper. It's interesting and fun to dig deeper, I knew when this season came out, there would be lots of commentary so thank you for these videos! I don't have any psychology degrees but I've been to many therapists, psychologists/psychiatrists and treatment facilities for my own health, so seeing anything from an psychological point always has my attention.
thanks for pointing out nick's fear in his eyes when charlie brings up the possibility of them having sex. it stood out to me as well and i haven't seen anyone else mention it before! nick always reads as rather demisexual to me so it doesn't surprise me that nick probably wasn't even thinking about it that much before, at least consciously.
Hi Dr Elliot! Would you please consider reacting to the Anxiety scenes in Inside Out 2? Would love to see your thoughts on how they depict anxiety and anxiety attacks 😊
Body Dysmorphia rearing its head! Being vulnerable is one of the scariest and hardest things to do and requires an enormous amount of trust and even then it can be insanely difficult to do- you might only do it in bits with someone and if they are your partner I would say have more conversations on the particular topic you are trying to build trust in then you think- especially if it's something like sex! Charlie being comfortable enough around nick and trusting nick enough to express why he is nervous is so important and how nick responded- also very important- that whole conversation exchange was done really well- their communication skills for teenagers let alone any age is insane- it's really good! Charlie also has self harm scars that he is scared of nick seeing- which is still tied to the dysmorphia. the way the subtle transphobia was presented I thought was done well- a lot of times when people are being transphobic they think they are being an ally and can word their transphobia in a way that to some people (mainly cishets)can come off as fine and not seen as transphobic when in reality what they said and or did was very transphobic. I was speaking/yelling into my computer to Elle to leave, walk away and leave. Geoff is such a good depiction of a really good therapist!
During the scene, in which Charlie explains why he doesn't want to take off his shirt, I watched Nick's reaction. He goes through "I like you a lot..... I love you... " And then there is that pause, and Kit's whole face and voice changes when he says "I want *you*" (Kit is incredibly good at microexpressions !)
I must admit, I hadn’t realised how hot and charismatic Jonathan Bailey was until this episode either. So, Nick’s definitely not alone!🥵😂But, I really felt a lot like Charlie with the whole body dysmorphia, especially when he was looking at himself in the mirror or comparing himself to Jack Maddox. I’ve always been that way myself, since my teens. I’ve always hated the way I look, either because of weight, body hair etc. In recent years, I have started working out and being a bit happier about the way I look, but I still never feel completely happy. I think it comes from having always been bullied about it throughout school.
I don’t feel attraction of any kind, so when someone actively crushes on someone it’s confused Pikachu face for me 😂 The amount of times my therapist said ‘and yet you still criticize yourself for it’ for relapsing (major depressive disorder) 🙈. At the early stages of therapy I could sit there for minutes on end trying to name one positive attribute or behavior. Charlies journey, though different issues, is so relatable.
Interesting that you didn't seem to see the scars in the scene where Charlie had his shirt off. I didn't notice any of the scars in Alice Oseman's drawings of Charlie in the comic until reading comments online from people about them. And if it wasn't for that, I don't think I would have noticed them in the TV show either. Which makes me a bit sad, actually. On another topic, I'm interested to know your take about safe sex in the context of Heartstopper. (Spoiler alert!) Oseman has Nick and Charlie using condoms long into the development of their relationship, which in real life isn't something that would necessarily happen with a monogamous male couple with no history of STDs (unless Ben gave Charlie something, which doesn't seem to be the case). Of course Alice has to promote safe sex, but it still seems odd. But what would be the alternative, then? What if (gasp!) Nick and Charlie aren't monogamous? I don't see that happening in the Heartstopper universe, though.
I had been wondering about both points as well. I can only see the scars if I pause the programme and look for them. And yes, why do Nick and Charlie need condoms?
I understand that this show and others are in a teaching position, hence the emphasis on safer sex. But here, as in many YA books, there is really no need for them to be using condoms. They know damn well the other is new to sex, hasn’t been an intravenous drug user, or faced other risks that could mean they have an STI. I mean, it’s an important message since, when kid A meets kid B, and kid A swears he’s never been with anyone else, he could be lying. But I think they could have handled it here with a discussion between Nick and Charlie along the lines of, “I know they’re always telling us at school we need condoms, but I know neither of us can give each other anything.” And there’s no risk of pregnancy.
funnily enough there is a moment in the comics where sarah even tells nick that even though he and charlie most likely haven't had sex with anyone else, it's good to be practicing safe sex. i imagine also just for the practical reason of less mess to deal afterwards, to be honest. and you know, while the audience knows these guys will continue into a very long term relationship, in-universe it's not that the therapist would know that. so it's not that unusual to teach guys from a young age to start using protection, so they would continue that practice even if they were to break up at some point and start having sex with other people.
i truly don't get this seeming new obsession with Jonathan Bailey. i mean he's good enough looking, but nothing out of the ordinary if you ask me. maybe it's that he's imprinted on a bunch of roles he's been in? feel free to recommend therapy to properly understand :)
I haven't watched him in Bridgerton or Fellow Travelers yet. But I saw him give a speech when he got a BAFTA (I think it was) for Fellow Travelers. His demeanor and sense of humor were very charismatic. I think that if he's not someone's type visually -- he might be considered attractive in how he presents himself. But I am more of a "fall in love from the head down" sort of person. (AKA smart/witty is sexy.), anyway. 🩷💜💙
I love so much that this show doesn't graphically depict Charlie's self-harm.
It's the same in the comics. Same with its depiction of sex. Very vague.
13RW could never
The reflection in the mirror was all they needed to get the point across and a very real reality that survivors of self harm live with.
@@AnxietyRat I mean, in the comics it was a little bit darker but yes, not so much too
I think it is important when we are finally allowed to see the old scars... [Spoilers for 3x8 below] :
In the last episode, beginning about timestamp 30, the scars from old self-harms are revealed clearly.
It's an important moment, since for the first time, Charlie allows his shirt to come off just before the guys begin to make love.
🩷💜💙
16:35 We ALL love Geoff. Such a nice depiction of a therapists!
14:20 the joke refers to the world's oldest known customer complaint, inscribed in a clay tablet from Mesopotamia, written around 1750 BCE documenting a delivery of the incorrect grade of copper ingots and issues with another delivery.
Omg, THANK YOU! It's nice to finally be able to understand that damn joke!! 😂
@@DoubleBlack2.0Same! Thank you for explaining it!!
Thank you for explaining the joke!
I' m so sorry for Tori as Nick rushes back to hug Charlie after his self-harming. She must have helped him clean up and recover from the incident and that cannot be easy no matter how much it may sometimes be expected. And pretty sure his parents weren't advised of this one, or there'd be more trouble going on.
the novel "solitaire" also by alice oseman, actually shows the same event from that night but this time from tori's perspective. there's also a audiobook for the novel which hurts even more hearing the voice actors portray that particular scene
In the books the parents do find out and allow Nick to sleep over that night on Charlie's floor to keep an eye on him.
I was not expecting your 'be professional' Cracked me up. Love your Videos :)
Yes! I had to stop the video I laughed so hard.
(I'm not even a gay man, and I get it...
🩷💜💙
I had so many scars growing up due to living in the country and having really bad excoriation tendencies. It made me always want to cover up and made me so insecure when it came to intimacy. It wasn’t until I started getting tattoos and reclaiming my skin that I finally got comfortable and stopped caring.
I wish so much that a show like this was around when I was a teenager. Maybe I would have been able to work through this pain much earlier and learned to me confident in my own skin. I am so grateful this show exists so that teens and future generations don’t have to suffer like I did ❤
Getting tattoos has helped me immensely!
It made me laugh how you spent one sentence talking about the Elle situation on the radio show and like three minutes just swooning over Jonathan Bailey lmao
Great video, as always.
(And I couldn't agree more, I LOVE Geoff! I felt warm and held just by watching those therapy scenes.)
I always enjoy your reactions focused on the psychology/therapy aspect. However, seeing you swoon over JB is also worth it 😊
🤣
*jack Maddox appears*
* slaps Doc Elliot's hand * behave yourself 😂
13:39 Correct! I saw him live when he was at the 92Y in New York City (with Matt Bomer)
I am 99% sure that everyone in the audience spontaneously sprouted pigtails and started twirling them coyly.
13:45 Also I must confess he didn’t register for me until a year ago with Fellow Travelers. That’s when something clicked and I’ve been respectfully smitten ever since.
He also narrated this fantastic special on BBC Radio 2 called The Showstopper, about AIDS in the West End Theater community in the 80s and 90s. I was able to track down the original broadcast on the Internet Archive, download it, and isolate it for future listening on my Soundcloud. It’s a real tear jerker but it’s just so beautiful. Happy to send along a link to it!
Ugh same and every gay man I know is in love with him. I first saw him in Crashing and it's been an obsession every since 😂
15:27 And yes! Although fair warning, the show is devastating and it’s good to watch it with someone. I’m still reading through the book, admittedly it’s not as Tim & Hawk focused as you’d think.
Queer Serial and Making Gay History are both excellent podcasts for learning about the time period in the US.
@@anthonyorsiniWhat’s so strange is that, while I definitely think he’s attractive, I’m really more charmed by his overall character. Especially since I’m not that energetic and positive, and very much would like to be - so he’s kind of a role model for me in that sense. Granted, I still have no idea how he manages it…
@@JohnFallotAgeee completely. He's incredibly charismatic in real life. I always enjoy his interviews and other social media appearances as himself. You can tell he's a great person!
"If you can't love yourself, how the hell you gonna love anyone else?" You know, I only ever heard that other version that went, "if you don't love yourself, how is anyone else going to love you?" And I think what you said makes a lot more sense. There have been people who loved me even when I hated myself. They taught me to love myself, and then, in turn, I was able to love them back. It's the difference of one saying if you don't better yourself no one is going to like you, vs saying that only by bettering yourself can you help others around you.
You're right that the other version of the phrase isn't very truthful. However, I think it should be tweaked a little: "If you don't love yourself, how are you supposed to believe that somebody else loves you?" Which I think rings a lot more true for a lot of people. It can indeed be very difficult, if not near impossible in some cases, to form lasting, healthy, mutual relationships if one hates oneself or believes oneself unloveable.
11:10 that part amazes me every time. Charlie as a therapist is my headcanon haha
13:43 And not just men, he also has that effect on women😭
I love your reactions and commentary on Heartstopper. It's interesting and fun to dig deeper, I knew when this season came out, there would be lots of commentary so thank you for these videos! I don't have any psychology degrees but I've been to many therapists, psychologists/psychiatrists and treatment facilities for my own health, so seeing anything from an psychological point always has my attention.
I don't know who this man is, but I love him for that Ea-Nāsir joke
My best friend helped me with grounding techniques over the phone. She asked me what I could see, if I could smell anything in the air.
I thoroughly enjoy your videos and love Heartstopper - What a winning combo!
thanks for pointing out nick's fear in his eyes when charlie brings up the possibility of them having sex. it stood out to me as well and i haven't seen anyone else mention it before! nick always reads as rather demisexual to me so it doesn't surprise me that nick probably wasn't even thinking about it that much before, at least consciously.
Hi Dr Elliot! Would you please consider reacting to the Anxiety scenes in Inside Out 2? Would love to see your thoughts on how they depict anxiety and anxiety attacks 😊
13:16 Elliot’s reaction to Jonathan Bailey 🥰🥰🥰
Your reaction to Jonathan Bailey!!!!! I loved it! And I really think he has this effect in all human beings!
Body Dysmorphia rearing its head! Being vulnerable is one of the scariest and hardest things to do and requires an enormous amount of trust and even then it can be insanely difficult to do- you might only do it in bits with someone and if they are your partner I would say have more conversations on the particular topic you are trying to build trust in then you think- especially if it's something like sex! Charlie being comfortable enough around nick and trusting nick enough to express why he is nervous is so important and how nick responded- also very important- that whole conversation exchange was done really well- their communication skills for teenagers let alone any age is insane- it's really good! Charlie also has self harm scars that he is scared of nick seeing- which is still tied to the dysmorphia. the way the subtle transphobia was presented I thought was done well- a lot of times when people are being transphobic they think they are being an ally and can word their transphobia in a way that to some people (mainly cishets)can come off as fine and not seen as transphobic when in reality what they said and or did was very transphobic. I was speaking/yelling into my computer to Elle to leave, walk away and leave. Geoff is such a good depiction of a really good therapist!
During the scene, in which Charlie explains why he doesn't want to take off his shirt, I watched Nick's reaction.
He goes through "I like you a lot..... I love you... "
And then there is that pause, and Kit's whole face and voice changes when he says "I want *you*"
(Kit is incredibly good at microexpressions !)
Jonathan Bailey also plays a dickish but hot character in the incredible “Crashing.”
I love him there!
I've been crushing over him ever since that show!
I must admit, I hadn’t realised how hot and charismatic Jonathan Bailey was until this episode either. So, Nick’s definitely not alone!🥵😂But, I really felt a lot like Charlie with the whole body dysmorphia, especially when he was looking at himself in the mirror or comparing himself to Jack Maddox. I’ve always been that way myself, since my teens. I’ve always hated the way I look, either because of weight, body hair etc. In recent years, I have started working out and being a bit happier about the way I look, but I still never feel completely happy. I think it comes from having always been bullied about it throughout school.
We all need a Geoff in our lives.
I don’t feel attraction of any kind, so when someone actively crushes on someone it’s confused Pikachu face for me 😂
The amount of times my therapist said ‘and yet you still criticize yourself for it’ for relapsing (major depressive disorder) 🙈. At the early stages of therapy I could sit there for minutes on end trying to name one positive attribute or behavior. Charlies journey, though different issues, is so relatable.
I love your reaction my favorite show. Amen this really important & series.
Hmm, hmm, he can so drink that milk. 😂
I want to give you an AMEN!!! for your reaction & thoughts to this episode. Thanks.
14:00 Same!
Amen 🙏🏼 and i think its not the body its the scarves on Charlies arm
I find it hard to include my familie when it comes to my ocd, partly because of shame but mainly because I feel like a burden already
Could you do a video on We Need to Talk About Kevin?
i do have a question: would the teachers be made aware of why charlie was absent or would it be left vague?
I tried watching Fellow Travelers but depictions of McCarthyism make my blood boil and I have to pause every 10 minutes just to cool off.
Literature, hot Jonathan, and someone smart! 🎉❤❤❤
sorry ill take 1000 #JoeLocke s over 1 Jonathan Bailey any day. 😂😂, we ALL love Geoff ❤
I love your videos and just wanted you to know that straight cisgender females like me are also obsessed with Jonathan Bailey.
👍
I mean, who is not! I don't think this has anything to do with gender or sexuality. I mean, it is Jonathan Bailey!,
@@nbarrioYep 💯
Amen...
The RuPaul reference was *chef's kiss*
This one was harder to watch for some reason. Spiked my anxiety.
Interesting that you didn't seem to see the scars in the scene where Charlie had his shirt off. I didn't notice any of the scars in Alice Oseman's drawings of Charlie in the comic until reading comments online from people about them. And if it wasn't for that, I don't think I would have noticed them in the TV show either. Which makes me a bit sad, actually. On another topic, I'm interested to know your take about safe sex in the context of Heartstopper. (Spoiler alert!) Oseman has Nick and Charlie using condoms long into the development of their relationship, which in real life isn't something that would necessarily happen with a monogamous male couple with no history of STDs (unless Ben gave Charlie something, which doesn't seem to be the case). Of course Alice has to promote safe sex, but it still seems odd. But what would be the alternative, then? What if (gasp!) Nick and Charlie aren't monogamous? I don't see that happening in the Heartstopper universe, though.
I had been wondering about both points as well. I can only see the scars if I pause the programme and look for them. And yes, why do Nick and Charlie need condoms?
I think safe sex actually has become less taboo, and more accepted/expected., condoms being just one part of that.
I know what you are saying is super important, but I can take my eyes off Ongina.... I want to pay attention but I can't 😅
I understand that this show and others are in a teaching position, hence the emphasis on safer sex. But here, as in many YA books, there is really no need for them to be using condoms. They know damn well the other is new to sex, hasn’t been an intravenous drug user, or faced other risks that could mean they have an STI. I mean, it’s an important message since, when kid A meets kid B, and kid A swears he’s never been with anyone else, he could be lying. But I think they could have handled it here with a discussion between Nick and Charlie along the lines of, “I know they’re always telling us at school we need condoms, but I know neither of us can give each other anything.” And there’s no risk of pregnancy.
funnily enough there is a moment in the comics where sarah even tells nick that even though he and charlie most likely haven't had sex with anyone else, it's good to be practicing safe sex. i imagine also just for the practical reason of less mess to deal afterwards, to be honest. and you know, while the audience knows these guys will continue into a very long term relationship, in-universe it's not that the therapist would know that. so it's not that unusual to teach guys from a young age to start using protection, so they would continue that practice even if they were to break up at some point and start having sex with other people.
Please do a video reacting to gilmore girls xx
Eh... Bailey could stand more facial hair. But academia helps :)
Pls react to fellow travelers remaining 7 episodes. You are missing out on a masterpiece in general and for the LGBTQIA + community
i truly don't get this seeming new obsession with Jonathan Bailey. i mean he's good enough looking, but nothing out of the ordinary if you ask me. maybe it's that he's imprinted on a bunch of roles he's been in? feel free to recommend therapy to properly understand :)
Same. I'd definitely do a double take on the street, but I probably wouldn't still be thinking about him by dinner time.
He's the viscount of the Bridgerton family😂
Definitely. I can see he's very good looking but I don't really understand why the whole world is going gaga about him.
I think it’s mainly because of his performance in bridgerton
I haven't watched him in Bridgerton or Fellow Travelers yet.
But I saw him give a speech when he got a BAFTA (I think it was) for Fellow Travelers.
His demeanor and sense of humor were very charismatic.
I think that if he's not someone's type visually -- he might be considered attractive in how he presents himself.
But I am more of a "fall in love from the head down" sort of person. (AKA smart/witty is sexy.), anyway.
🩷💜💙