I actually cried so much watching this blog Nicole as just wanted to hug u and say things do get better. I can relate to how you feel, as you can see from my last blog where I ranted about PCOS. Always here if u ever need to vent, I've made some amazing friends on TH-cam and online through TTC or infertility x
Awww Nicole. I know how you feel going through a bad month of feeling self conscious and not knowing what you're doing with your life etc.. When I moved from NZ to Australia my diet changed completely because it really is not all about food like in NZ, I totally agree with you. It's still so hard to eat healthy because I have a major sweet tooth as well, but it's so much easier here for some reason. We all enjoy watching your journey and appreciate you uploading videos. I'm expecting my first little girl in November and so excited! Things will get better for you soon I'm sure. Something will happen that will give you some clarity! Good luck xoxo
I know what you mean about just feeling blah! It's not a total depression, but nothing seems very exciting during a blah time. I get so down in the winter as well. I don't bother with diets really, I find the only way to keep my weight off or stable is excercise. For me right now that's just dancing once a week and taking my daughter for a walk everyday. It doesn't seem like much but it has done wonders for me and being outside helps with the mood!
Totally understand how you're feeling. Steve asks me all the time if I think I should talk to someone about the whole emotional side of TTC and weightloss. It's such an emotional roller coaster. You're not alone xxoo
Oh my sweet Nicole.... All im gonna day is i love ya. I have had many suicidal thoughts with really bad Depression and have had to be admitted into care on a couple of occasions been the best thing ever for me.... i am now on meds that finally work for me and it's been over a yr where ive actually been happy and stable. Unfortunately it is genetic in my family as my eldest daughter is getting help for it to now, slow process but getting there, My dad had it my sister has it and my brother also... not suicidal but depressed enough Get assessed by your dr you just might need a lil something just to get you out of the doldrums... I don't know, just trying to help... Sending you Lots of love hun xoxo💜💖💙
**Big hugs** I have a love hate relationship with food too. I ended up getting a gastric bypass, I got to 162kg and I'm now 77kg. I have three beautiful babies, my first was IVF and the last two on clomid. They are the reason why I got the bypass to have my last two babies. Have a Google of S.A.D I get it every winter and hate it. I hate the cold weather and funny enough we are dairy farmers in Australia. Hope your feeling back to normal self very soon and that some sunshine is coming your way very soon xx
I know just how you feel! I'm exactly the same. I have PCOS and all the symptoms that come along with it like excess hair and weight that's tough to lose and it really gets me down sometimes. I also have days where I'm not feeling too happy although I do just go along as there isn't anything I can do about it. Sometimes you just need to speak to people who understand and they can be hard to find! Just know we all love your videos and you make us laugh and you're a brilliant mum. Positive thoughts, even the most trivial things can make your day brighter. Keep your chin up! 😊 x
thank you for sharing your life with us, it is truly encouraging. I know that this video might not be the happiest but its like you spoke exactly what I feel.
I understand how you feel. I think motherhood can be lonely. Don't get me wrong, we did IVF to have our twins and I wouldn't change it for the world, but it's still lonely. And when I turned 30, now 31 I fell like I started thinking more about my "purpose" or what I'm doing with my life. Then add on to TTCing, that's emotionally draining! The ups and downs. Hugs to you! We may not "know" each other, but I feel like I have gotten to know you :)
Sending you lots of positivity and good thoughts. I'm feeling similar to you and feel in a funk. I sometimes feel guilty for feeling that way after having twins after struggling with infertility. I think it's just learning to find a balance and my identity outside of mommy hood. Make sure to make time to focus on you. Hang in there! :)
Thank you for your honesty, I'm sorry your having a hard time :( I think you look great ;) While struggling to get pregnant with our 3rd, I was in a very sad place...not knowing if my body would ever do what I wanted so desperately for it to do, was SO frustrating. Thinking of you and sending hugs from Southern California ;)
Awww Sending hugs from across the pond. One reason why I wasn't able to say on Metformin was because of the crazy emotional roller coaster, and I actually suffer from Depression and PTSD, it wasn't fun or helping so I had to stop. Emotional funks are not fun and I hope it passes for you xoxoxo
Big hugs Nicole you are beautiful and a great mum and I love watching your vlogs chin up hun things will get better I'm sure , much love to you and your gorgeous family xx
Chin up Nicole. I think many moms, especially those who stay at home primarily with their kids often feel that way from time to time. I know I have although now that I am forced to go back to work I want nothing more than to stay home for longer with my children.
Im sending you huge hugs love. We all have been there and some of us are feeling the exact way you are right now. Venting is healthy! And yes PCOS is a pain when trying to lose weight.
ok. i've never ever commented on a video before, but i've followed your channel for a really long time now (which i love btw) and i just wanted you to know that i think that you are awesome, and so funny and pretty and nice, and i don't want you to feel sad! just remember that you have a wonderful husband and 2 beautiful children who love you very much and a ton of friends here on yt who think you are amazing! so keep on truckin' mama, you are fabulous! hugs from Canada :)
Hi Sweets, I wish I could give you a big hug, I'm in NZ but way up past Auckland in Snells Beach, but often thought it would be so cool to have a coffee with you, have been following your journey as I was going through similar struggles, but am thinking of ya, so get the slump feeling sometimes life just sucks !!! Hope you feel better soon, daylight savings starts next weekend YES summer is coming !!
Nothing is wrong with you! You're doing a lot every day just taking good care of your babies. You're a wonderful mother and they are so lucky to have you!! It's totally normal to have ups and downs, be kind to yourself.
I am sorry to hear you haven't been feeling great. When I feel that way the thing that helps me the most is excersizing. It gets some endorphins going and I feel so much better. Also getting out of the house on some play dates. I hope you feel better!
sorry that you're having a rough time :( I'm having one of those 'what am I doing with my life' times too. Having PCOS is so blah sometimes :( I am a kiwi too and I can relate on the food side of things. If I don't eat anything except perfectly good diety food I just seem to gain so much weight. my hormones have been so out that I developed stretch marks everywhere! I'm rambling now too :p Anyway, I hope you feel better soon... maybe once the weather is a bit warmer that will help :) Jess
Thanks for sharing I hope you feel better soon I feel the same with not "feeling fulfilled" . I had postnatal depression and its a lot better but I'm kinda at that point were I'm like hmm wonder what I'm gonna do after this whole baby thing :/ get better stay strong love your vid !
yes nz winter is dragging on! can it be summer yet??? your not frumpy, fat or hairy at all! your gorgeous and you made some beautiful kiddies! have you ever thought about going sugar free? not just you your whole family? i have a friend who also has fertility issues (dont know specifics) but she was overweight, she went sugar free with her hubby and by god she looks amazing!!! would be a huge huge adjustment but i you can get evryone on board it could be a great key to loosing what you feel like you need to. sugar is also my weakness and i know how hard it is to diet, i struggle with diets. Good luck lovely xxxx
I hope you are feeling better soon Nicole. I live in NSW and I think NZ and Aus are very similar we are all about food if there is an occasion you ha d to feed people or have a BBQ. Have you ever considered moving ? We have had a few 27 degree days lately I am liking it. This winter was cold for us. Just know that we are here or you. x
Im in your country lol if your ever in Nelson I would love to have coffee or if I ever make it to Parmy making it as far as wellington next year. Im so over this winter summer just needs to hurry up.
im stuck in a rut lately too. wondering if we should even bother trying for number 3 since my body wont do what its supposed to anyway. my husband just got a new job as well and i feel like his life is moving forward and im not sure what im doing with myself. im a stay at home mum but my youngest will be 2 in 6 months and will start kindergarten a couple days a week and i would like to fill those days up with....something. but what? arg. thinking of you and hope your happiness goes up from that 4 and back up to a 8 or 9 soon. xxx
Sorry for ur chemical pregnancy. We had the same thing after a FET...and then despite all the odds against us (was literally told by a dr the day I conceived that there is no way I could fall pregnant naturally!! 😜) we fell pregnant naturally the very next cycle. I will always think that the chemical kinda helped warm the oven and get things going, just as ppl say u r more fertile after a miscarriage. Hope u feel better soon, I know the feeling well and for very much the same reasons...it is soo frustrating. Bring on the sunshine!!! 😊😊😊
I know its always a downer to see a negative but have you tested one more time just to triple check its def a neg? Iv just had a friend who had the same type of issue you've had with the + then - then she started spotting a week later and hello was positive.. not to get your hopes but thought I'd add that :) Hope your feeling much better soon. Even though you feel that way, your a beautiful girl :) xxx
chin up. we have been trying since 2005. had MANY ivfs and MANY miscarriages. we have donated eggs and sperm to help others and lost twins and baby boys. i would do ANYTHING to have the kids you have!
you should do a blood test to test your HCG levels..you might feel low and sad because your actually pregnant and its just your hormones are all over the place
I'm in the same funk. went to gp and was asked about suicide which made me stop and think i don't want to harm myself or others but don't want this life I'm in and not sure how to change or what to start on. the pcos diagnosis still is new for me and every now and then I will find a single hair an inch or more longer than the surrounds. apart from a patch of thicker ones on top of thighs I have singles out my cheek and back of shoulder. I feel lucky for it being more discreet than for some women. I still have a lot to learn of pcos and here in aus, after 3 years I'm still looking to anywhere to learn.
Probably a silly question but have you tested again just to make sure that that last negative test wasn't wrong especially since you haven't really gotten a cycle yet. I know how you feel the winters hit me hard too and while I (apparently) don't have PCOS I have those same symptoms as you infertility, weight problems and if I don't stick to just salads and fruit boom the weight goes on. The facial hair and its so frustrating. Totally wish I was closer for that coffee cake and a catch up. Hugs through youtube land for you anyway and I hope you feel better soon. Take care.XOXO
Oh god, right, the only thing that got me going with loosing weight was slimming world. Everything else has worked but I always put back on. This time I've kept it off for two years. It's good because you can eat so much food like loads if you want. Pasta and rice even. There are literally millions of recipes online. And when there's a day you can't be bothered, just keep saturated fat low and buggar everything else, You might not loose as easy or at all when not following it properly but it's an easy way to have a rest from watching everything you eat by just keeping an eye on sats because that's the main culprit and try keep sugar low as poss, natural sugars aren't as bad. It's really easy diet and it's very effective if you follow it strictly. There's the easy version and the red and green days. The easy is very effective. I also started SLOW pace running and it's so easy because you don't tire easily and you're exercising. Your pace naturally quickens over the weeks and you get
So used to it. It really helped me. When I can't be bothered like I said I just watch the saturated fat. You wanna look at 8min per kilometre if you decide to start running. It's free who needs the gym? 5k distances at first and after a few weeks try running it without walking in parts, nice and slow. I just wanted to share what I've been doing for the past 2 years. It's very easy lifestyle to follow. I've lost 2 stone and sometimes a few lbs creep back, even now but I've kept the bulk of it off. Have take aways occasionally and still enjoy yourself. Before you know it you'll be a lot happier. We are in the same boat ish, my mrs has pcos. We finally managed to get our first child but we don't know about anymore, can only try. Good luck with it all. And I know pcos really effects your metabolism. From The slow release metformin guy lol. :) p.s well done on the tolerance ..... P.p.s sorry if it's patronising especially the running advice. 😁
I actually cried so much watching this blog Nicole as just wanted to hug u and say things do get better. I can relate to how you feel, as you can see from my last blog where I ranted about PCOS. Always here if u ever need to vent, I've made some amazing friends on TH-cam and online through TTC or infertility x
Awww Nicole. I know how you feel going through a bad month of feeling self conscious and not knowing what you're doing with your life etc.. When I moved from NZ to Australia my diet changed completely because it really is not all about food like in NZ, I totally agree with you. It's still so hard to eat healthy because I have a major sweet tooth as well, but it's so much easier here for some reason. We all enjoy watching your journey and appreciate you uploading videos. I'm expecting my first little girl in November and so excited! Things will get better for you soon I'm sure. Something will happen that will give you some clarity! Good luck xoxo
I know what you mean about just feeling blah! It's not a total depression, but nothing seems very exciting during a blah time. I get so down in the winter as well. I don't bother with diets really, I find the only way to keep my weight off or stable is excercise. For me right now that's just dancing once a week and taking my daughter for a walk everyday. It doesn't seem like much but it has done wonders for me and being outside helps with the mood!
Totally understand how you're feeling. Steve asks me all the time if I think I should talk to someone about the whole emotional side of TTC and weightloss. It's such an emotional roller coaster. You're not alone xxoo
Big hugs ! You aren't alone, I've been feeling the same way. Hang in there it's got to get better soon! ❤️❤️❤️
I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling bleh. Thank you for being real Nicole. Praying for you.
Oh my sweet Nicole....
All im gonna day is i love ya.
I have had many suicidal thoughts with really bad Depression and have had to be admitted into care on a couple of occasions been the best thing ever for me....
i am now on meds that finally work for me and it's been over a yr where ive actually been happy and stable.
Unfortunately it is genetic in my family as my eldest daughter is getting help for it to now, slow process but getting there, My dad had it my sister has it and my brother also...
not suicidal but depressed enough
Get assessed by your dr you just might need a lil something just to get you out of the doldrums... I don't know, just trying to help...
Sending you Lots of love hun xoxo💜💖💙
**Big hugs**
I have a love hate relationship with food too. I ended up getting a gastric bypass, I got to 162kg and I'm now 77kg.
I have three beautiful babies, my first was IVF and the last two on clomid. They are the reason why I got the bypass to have my last two babies.
Have a Google of S.A.D I get it every winter and hate it. I hate the cold weather and funny enough we are dairy farmers in Australia.
Hope your feeling back to normal self very soon and that some sunshine is coming your way very soon xx
I know just how you feel! I'm exactly the same. I have PCOS and all the symptoms that come along with it like excess hair and weight that's tough to lose and it really gets me down sometimes. I also have days where I'm not feeling too happy although I do just go along as there isn't anything I can do about it. Sometimes you just need to speak to people who understand and they can be hard to find! Just know we all love your videos and you make us laugh and you're a brilliant mum. Positive thoughts, even the most trivial things can make your day brighter. Keep your chin up! 😊 x
thank you for sharing your life with us, it is truly encouraging. I know that this video might not be the happiest but its like you spoke exactly what I feel.
I understand how you feel. I think motherhood can be lonely. Don't get me wrong, we did IVF to have our twins and I wouldn't change it for the world, but it's still lonely. And when I turned 30, now 31 I fell like I started thinking more about my "purpose" or what I'm doing with my life. Then add on to TTCing, that's emotionally draining! The ups and downs. Hugs to you! We may not "know" each other, but I feel like I have gotten to know you :)
Sending you lots of positivity and good thoughts. I'm feeling similar to you and feel in a funk. I sometimes feel guilty for feeling that way after having twins after struggling with infertility. I think it's just learning to find a balance and my identity outside of mommy hood. Make sure to make time to focus on you. Hang in there! :)
Thank you for your honesty, I'm sorry your having a hard time :( I think you look great ;)
While struggling to get pregnant with our 3rd, I was in a very sad place...not knowing if my body would ever do what I wanted so desperately for it to do, was SO frustrating.
Thinking of you and sending hugs from Southern California ;)
Big Hugs
So looking forward to warmer weather, especially without the cold wind, and being able to get out more.
Awww Sending hugs from across the pond. One reason why I wasn't able to say on Metformin was because of the crazy emotional roller coaster, and I actually suffer from Depression and PTSD, it wasn't fun or helping so I had to stop. Emotional funks are not fun and I hope it passes for you xoxoxo
Big hugs Nicole you are beautiful and a great mum and I love watching your vlogs chin up hun things will get better I'm sure , much love to you and your gorgeous family xx
Chin up Nicole. I think many moms, especially those who stay at home primarily with their kids often feel that way from time to time. I know I have although now that I am forced to go back to work I want nothing more than to stay home for longer with my children.
Im sending you huge hugs love. We all have been there and some of us are feeling the exact way you are right now. Venting is healthy! And yes PCOS is a pain when trying to lose weight.
ok. i've never ever commented on a video before, but i've followed your channel for a really long time now (which i love btw) and i just wanted you to know that i think that you are awesome, and so funny and pretty and nice, and i don't want you to feel sad! just remember that you have a wonderful husband and 2 beautiful children who love you very much and a ton of friends here on yt who think you are amazing! so keep on truckin' mama, you are fabulous! hugs from Canada :)
Praying for you Nicole I totally get where you are coming from with winter.Giant hugs from Oregon
Hi Sweets, I wish I could give you a big hug, I'm in NZ but way up past Auckland in Snells Beach, but often thought it would be so cool to have a coffee with you, have been following your journey as I was going through similar struggles, but am thinking of ya, so get the slump feeling sometimes life just sucks !!! Hope you feel better soon, daylight savings starts next weekend YES summer is coming !!
Nothing is wrong with you! You're doing a lot every day just taking good care of your babies. You're a wonderful mother and they are so lucky to have you!! It's totally normal to have ups and downs, be kind to yourself.
I recommend getting your bHCG checked. you can pay for it at the lab if you want to bypass going to your GP. you could be implantation bleeding
I am sorry to hear you haven't been feeling great. When I feel that way the thing that helps me the most is excersizing. It gets some endorphins going and I feel so much better. Also getting out of the house on some play dates. I hope you feel better!
sorry that you're having a rough time :(
I'm having one of those 'what am I doing with my life' times too. Having PCOS is so blah sometimes :( I am a kiwi too and I can relate on the food side of things. If I don't eat anything except perfectly good diety food I just seem to gain so much weight. my hormones have been so out that I developed stretch marks everywhere!
I'm rambling now too :p
Anyway, I hope you feel better soon... maybe once the weather is a bit warmer that will help :)
Jess
Thanks for sharing I hope you feel better soon I feel the same with not "feeling fulfilled" . I had postnatal depression and its a lot better but I'm kinda at that point were I'm like hmm wonder what I'm gonna do after this whole baby thing :/ get better stay strong love your vid !
yes nz winter is dragging on! can it be summer yet??? your not frumpy, fat or hairy at all! your gorgeous and you made some beautiful kiddies! have you ever thought about going sugar free? not just you your whole family? i have a friend who also has fertility issues (dont know specifics) but she was overweight, she went sugar free with her hubby and by god she looks amazing!!! would be a huge huge adjustment but i you can get evryone on board it could be a great key to loosing what you feel like you need to. sugar is also my weakness and i know how hard it is to diet, i struggle with diets. Good luck lovely xxxx
Love you heaps, true inspiration, that's coming from a 16 year old!!! keep doing what your doing xo
I hope you are feeling better soon Nicole. I live in NSW and I think NZ and Aus are very similar we are all about food if there is an occasion you ha d to feed people or have a BBQ. Have you ever considered moving ? We have had a few 27 degree days lately I am liking it. This winter was cold for us. Just know that we are here or you. x
Im in your country lol if your ever in Nelson I would love to have coffee or if I ever make it to Parmy making it as far as wellington next year. Im so over this winter summer just needs to hurry up.
I genuinely think it will happen naturally for you sooner than you think. X
im stuck in a rut lately too. wondering if we should even bother trying for number 3 since my body wont do what its supposed to anyway. my husband just got a new job as well and i feel like his life is moving forward and im not sure what im doing with myself. im a stay at home mum but my youngest will be 2 in 6 months and will start kindergarten a couple days a week and i would like to fill those days up with....something. but what? arg. thinking of you and hope your happiness goes up from that 4 and back up to a 8 or 9 soon. xxx
Sorry for ur chemical pregnancy. We had the same thing after a FET...and then despite all the odds against us (was literally told by a dr the day I conceived that there is no way I could fall pregnant naturally!! 😜) we fell pregnant naturally the very next cycle. I will always think that the chemical kinda helped warm the oven and get things going, just as ppl say u r more fertile after a miscarriage. Hope u feel better soon, I know the feeling well and for very much the same reasons...it is soo frustrating. Bring on the sunshine!!! 😊😊😊
I know its always a downer to see a negative but have you tested one more time just to triple check its def a neg? Iv just had a friend who had the same type of issue you've had with the + then - then she started spotting a week later and hello was positive.. not to get your hopes but thought I'd add that :)
Hope your feeling much better soon. Even though you feel that way, your a beautiful girl :) xxx
chin up. we have been trying since 2005. had MANY ivfs and MANY miscarriages. we have donated eggs and sperm to help others and lost twins and baby boys. i would do ANYTHING to have the kids you have!
you should do a blood test to test your HCG levels..you might feel low and sad because your actually pregnant and its just your hormones are all over the place
I'm in the same funk. went to gp and was asked about suicide which made me stop and think i don't want to harm myself or others but don't want this life I'm in and not sure how to change or what to start on. the pcos diagnosis still is new for me and every now and then I will find a single hair an inch or more longer than the surrounds. apart from a patch of thicker ones on top of thighs I have singles out my cheek and back of shoulder. I feel lucky for it being more discreet than for some women. I still have a lot to learn of pcos and here in aus, after 3 years I'm still looking to anywhere to learn.
Probably a silly question but have you tested again just to make sure that that last negative test wasn't wrong especially since you haven't really gotten a cycle yet. I know how you feel the winters hit me hard too and while I (apparently) don't have PCOS I have those same symptoms as you infertility, weight problems and if I don't stick to just salads and fruit boom the weight goes on. The facial hair and its so frustrating. Totally wish I was closer for that coffee cake and a catch up. Hugs through youtube land for you anyway and I hope you feel better soon. Take care.XOXO
..I wondered same thing about the testing, wouldn't that be so neat!!!
Hugs!!!
Oh god, right, the only thing that got me going with loosing weight was slimming world. Everything else has worked but I always put back on. This time I've kept it off for two years. It's good because you can eat so much food like loads if you want. Pasta and rice even. There are literally millions of recipes online. And when there's a day you can't be bothered, just keep saturated fat low and buggar everything else, You might not loose as easy or at all when not following it properly but it's an easy way to have a rest from watching everything you eat by just keeping an eye on sats because that's the main culprit and try keep sugar low as poss, natural sugars aren't as bad. It's really easy diet and it's very effective if you follow it strictly. There's the easy version and the red and green days. The easy is very effective. I also started SLOW pace running and it's so easy because you don't tire easily and you're exercising. Your pace naturally quickens over the weeks and you get
So used to it. It really helped me. When I can't be bothered like I said I just watch the saturated fat. You wanna look at 8min per kilometre if you decide to start running. It's free who needs the gym? 5k distances at first and after a few weeks try running it without walking in parts, nice and slow. I just wanted to share what I've been doing for the past 2 years. It's very easy lifestyle to follow. I've lost 2 stone and sometimes a few lbs creep back, even now but I've kept the bulk of it off. Have take aways occasionally and still enjoy yourself. Before you know it you'll be a lot happier. We are in the same boat ish, my mrs has pcos. We finally managed to get our first child but we don't know about anymore, can only try. Good luck with it all. And I know pcos really effects your metabolism. From The slow release metformin guy lol. :) p.s well done on the tolerance .....
P.p.s sorry if it's patronising especially the running advice. 😁
Hugs!
have u had a blood test??
So sorry love...
metformin will make you gain weight I take it myself and have gained 35 pounds and it doesn't just drop off hope things better for you
Have you retested??????
What's your my fitness pal? I'll add you!
You may be PG and need Progesterone??
I'm taking 3 pills of metformin