Spot on, 100%, all women, all my relationships. Once when my wife of 15 years was abroad on a vacation in her home country with our small children, we were speaking on the phone and told her i missed them very much but that i was feeling really alone, unmotivated and depressed since i was only working and living in an empty home without them, wishing i could be with them having a good time, but i had to work, i said it felt like one of the lowest points in my life. She did not even respond to me, there was a silence and when i asked her did you hear what i said? She said yes. That taught me / reminded me, once again, that i am on my own in this relationship and that she can never really be relied upon. A simple sentence of understanding and kindness from her would have lifted my spirit and given me energy to carry on until they came home, instead i felt abandonment and resentment, damn shame.
I hear you, FLUKVE...This brings back memories for me too... it's when you can feel them 'stunned', annoyed, or turned off at how to respond to your need for sympathy or acknowledgement. Or worse, I've had them get annoyed, or 'serious' with me instead of the opposite reaction that was called for... Very telling, isn't it?
I went thru the same my ex went back to her country of birth with the kids . I looked after the farm and pets she rang twice in six weeks ,I rang once and she said what did I want !!
Why don't you guys just become ghey then? You guys seem new appreciate and understand each other more than every woman on the planet. And if it's so hard to live and have relationship with them why are you pursuing it so hard?
@@alonzomosley7 How about maybe you didn't talk to her for the entire trip if you had telecommunications? It's your wife once a week is too long.... No wonder she left
Seriously. I have a 'friend' that is always asking me for favors - take her to the airport, etc.... After three years of this, my car broke down and I needed help getting some clothing for a job interview. She said no, because she was 'busy relaxing'. I haven't done her a favor, since.
on her fb... "hey. remember when i did this for you and got that for you? remember when the day came and my car broke down i needed you for a change? you told me "im busy relaxing"" ...just saying thanks for seperating yourself from the rest. or i mean being just like the rest" ...ruin the pos. or she'l do the same thing again and again. don't let her just use you.
@LestatTravesty ghosting/indifference is always better, sending some whining Facebook message just makes you look weak and needy. You are also just giving her info on how to keep her donkeys running longer.
Nailed it. Many men are shocked that their wives won't do simple things like pick up their medications when they are sick. Even seem disgusted by our weakened state. These traits were always there. You simply ignored it. Don't.
My ex wouldn't even meet me at the airport to pick me up ... had to get a cab every time. It took her a month to pick up some of my clothes at the cleaners which was walking distance from her office too. This was the beginning of the end.
I just shake my head every time at work when one of my female co-workers is completely disgusted by her husband being sick and, 'whining,' to her that he doesn't feel good. She wants him to, 'shut up,' and, 'stop being a bitch,'. Like, what? I'm SO FUCKING GLAD every time I see that to be single and not married to some unfeeling, inhuman monster.
@@h445 Damn... I actually had short convo with a woman coworker lately... her husband works at the other plant and she was like "men are the worst babies when they're sick" etc and I'm like "yo, maybe because we want you to hug us and take care of us you know, like being lovable person" and she kind of backed off but I'm not sure she understood it or not. That Canadian woman is so fucking bitter LOL. Fucking hag. Like why women are even like that? Where is fucking DECENCY? How can you be so cold?
brnt034 my ex wife was lazy AF and would not like doing anything for me. Period. She wouldn't go with me to the winternationals event for drag racing. She doesn't like it. So, she doesn't want to do it. Period. Yeah, I walked away.
The only one I was married to for 7 years ultimately failed the test. I crashed with my mountain bike, broke my wrist and dislocated my shoulder. I called her to get me to the nearest first-aid post. 1st she didn't answer the phone at first, while I knew she was at home and had nothing important going on. 2nd, after getting her eventually on the phone, it took her about an hour to get to me, whilst I was about a 15 min drive (by car) from home. 3rd, in the hospital she was nagging against the medic that I didn't serve her needs earlier that day. Long story short, I was the one making the money, did a lot around the house including cooking most of the time. She had some parttime jobs, but actually, she didn't like to work so much. Basically, she was living off me and I was also financing her stupid hobbies to keep her 'happy'. I was disabled for a week after the accident and she did hospitalize me, but only for her own needs being afraid I was leaving her. I divorced her a few months later. Not being the main reason, but this was enough to pull the trigger.
Damn bro! That sounds very cold. Glad you got out of there. No need to feed the narcissist. I've always been criticized by other men by my demands of women. They are now seeing it as I do. If they can't do some of the simplest things that I ask of them, I get rid of them quick.
Six Five and Will Eat You Alive - Sorry to hear that! My 21 year old wife, Turned Feminist, as IF bitten by a Feminist Vampire. 👿 I went out on all Day boat trip with neighbors, and we nearly ALL Drowned. I got back, and she could care less IF I made it back. Finally Divorced this Gold-Digging, Cock Carousel 🎠💃 Riding Femtard, who cleaned out my Joint Savings/Checking Account. She Did worse to Hubby #2.!
Funny that, right on both counts........I started to pull away and that was that, she did the disappearing trick, even after supporting her for many many years. Dont be a fool Gents lol
So will he! Just because they're organs are shaped differently than yours doesn't make it that it has to happen like that. Unless you're telling me that thy will be done, And that they have no control over it that its God's will.
That’s exactly how my marriage was. If i didn’t do everything that she wanted all of a sudden i was “no good” or “lazy”. The best thing to happen to me was leaving and deciding to be happy and loving myself. Since i’ve been separated(few months now) from my wife of almost 10 years i’ve lost weight, spent more time with my teenage sons(not from my wife, we never had kids) and started to laugh and enjoy life. Young guys who read this listen to my advice. Don’t EVER get married and don’t ever let a woman control your money or how you see yourself. Love yourself FIRST!! Take care gentlemen, i wish you all nothing but the best.
truth is, in any relationship with "her" , you have to do at least 95% of work. If you ask for reciprocity (GOD forbid), boy, you're out :" i don't know what i want, "we're not on the same page ", " i think it's better to stay just friends"
Oh, and in addition, isn’t it weird how you can help out 364 days out of the year, but if you don’t do that one special day, one special party, or one special event, well, “you’re selfish”. 🙃
Luc Chasse yeah, you aren’t wrong. Glad I didn’t pass that test, in retrospect, all it meant was I’d feel ashamed of myself for willingly submitting to slavery. Or worse, grow to love the chains. But geez, looking back, I only wanted to see a smile. To hell with me for thinking that was realistic 😝
Be aware of the 'I cooked for you' trick. She cooked for 'us' ie she cooked what she wanted, and really, cooking for 2 people is just the same as cooking for one. I appreciate someone cooking for me, its just not as big a deal as they imagine.
Let’s be reel about the I cooked for you usually they cook there favorite food not your it’s like being in your parents house you eat what she makes shoot I know guys that request other food and there foreign wives say no we are a fill in the blank house Asian Mexican what ever yet the man provided everything and she won’t cook American food yet these guys think there lucky lucky my ......
@mr nobody My ex wife cooked me one meal in 13 years. The vegetables were still raw and the pasta was uncooked, lasagne is fucking easy really. They just don't care, they don't care.
My ex cooked for me exactly ONE time. She took a piece of pita bread, smeared some Ragu tomato sauce on it, sprinkled some parmesian cheese over it and then microwaved it for a minute. Tada! She called it a pizza. I called it grounds for divorce.
@@pauldavid167 My ex cooked for me exactly ONE time too. She took a piece of pita bread, smeared some Ragu tomato sauce on it, sprinkled some parmesian cheese over it and then microwaved it for a minute. Tada! She called it a pizza. I called it grounds for divorce.
This one made me laugh. My ex-wife used to bitch about cooking every night. And would then tell me it's my turn to cook. The funny thing was, I was both working and going to school full-time. I was lucky if I ate anything she cooked more than once a week, if that for three years. Towards the end her go to threat was I'm not cooking for you. The problem was, at that point I hadn't had anything she cooked in the better part of two years. The irony being. Is that years later her cooking is the only thing good I have to say about her.
Wow. This really hits the nail on the head. As soon as I had an issue, it was almost viewed as “Christ, I have to pretend to care about your issue?”. It’s almost like when the “tool” starts squeaking, well, it’s broken, and it’s time to get a new one. Whereas, when she had a constant flavor-of-the-week issue, I would really try to help out. Because why wouldn’t I? I enjoyed just seeing that issue off her plate. It made me happy, seeing her happy. Too bad it’s only a one way street. :/ Edit: Oh and in the end, I did everything “wrong” or “that’s not what I really wanted”. Magically. 😝
Mario Martin oh for sure. I should have seen it sooner to be honest, but when you’re involved in it, somehow, you can’t see the forest through the trees.
top subject, i actually did this but in a slightly different way, i told her to her face ' you don't do anything for me, i quit.' i'm a giver like most men, but never confuse my kindness as a weakness.
@@WilliaminOz Here is the irony. Most of us don't want to marry a prostitute and sugar daddy girls, and yet they're much better wife materials than Western women. Go figure!
I went red pill a year ago and have never been happier. This weekend has been spent mostly stopping my pal from going under after he received a text from his girlfriend "I have met someone else and we have slept together so it is over for us. He makes me happy and is very good for me". ME ME ME ME ME ME
Tell your friend that is the best think that will happen to him. Been there and 2 years later life rocks!!!! Don't give her two seconds of your thoughts. Peace
Xeno Bob I’m surrounded by women at work, it’s a nightmare.. they all act like children when something stressful comes their way and con us guys into taking over
I used to think I was the only Man experiencing this behaviour before I discovered MGTOW Philosophy 5 years ago. The human female simply doesn't _do_ anything without payment or benefit to herself.
MGTOW Lite - absolutely the same with me: I am the only one, what I am doing wrong, why no ability to reason, no respect and listen to point of view different from hers ????? Than discover MGTOW...... now in peace.
@Mr Offensington it's fucking stupid... isn't it? Why do I have to always make sure I'm better than her, hold the frame (I enjoy it but it's also a curse sometimes) and kind of show I don't love her too much so I crank up her hamster wheels? Relationships are exhausting. That's why I just pump and dump once in a while, have casual night and go back to monk mode living my own life.
I used this tactic several years ago on my Mom (to ascertain if I was just being used by her or if she actually cared). At the time she lived 50 miles away from me and my birthday was coming up. I asked her to come visit. She said it was too far and that she didn't know the area very well. Then a week later she drives 180 miles to see my pregnant sister to take her to see the OB-GYN and then drove back home in one day. That answered my question. People who like/love you will make time. People who don't will make excuses.
Almost everything a woman does, is a transaction. They must secretly laugh at men who do things that are not. They cannot comprehend doing something simply out of the goodness of their heart. Because there is no goodness in her heart. It's ruthless, cruel, and gotta give it to them, extremely focused on THEMSELVES, and themselves only.
Hey huMAN, I just checked my Google spam and your like showed up there, and no bell or notification on TH-cam. They (our betters at TH-cam) must be doing something.
@@huMANs_channel Ah, ok. Now it's showing up on the bell. Yes, perhaps it's our earlier programming when younger men, what we're told about women. But the reality is reality. They had their mask for a long time, and it's fallen full off now. For those with the eyes to see, at least.
You can see examples like this when their virtue signaling meets up against her supposed friends, the real people she claims to care about. I'd almost respect them more if they were honest and said their self gratification ment more to them than the people in their lives.
This is a good comment. The thought should extend to men also. I practice what Ayn Rand calls selfish altruism. I'll do things for others, but expect a return in mind, spirit or future material remuneration.
Istlota Everyman I have not seen those videos. But I have seen him speak in person about a year ago. At the time his mother was dying, his audible narrator who is a close friend is extremely ill. He was supporting his mother. He looked physically ill. He was fighting with the 21 Conv. If what you said is true cut him some slack dude men are human. Part of it is accepting what you find helpful and letting the man do the rest of his life.
I have seen the "always do for me, never do for you" attitude in women in my own family. If my cousin forgot her homework, they would break their necks to drive to the school to get it to her. If me or my male cousin needed to be driven to school due to the size of a project, we would hear how much "pressure" we were putting on them and "your cutting into my job.", "why cant you do it at school?", or my favorite one "maybe do a project within your means and dont think to big". Thankfully, this taught me red flags to look for in the women I dated.
Hey Human, Almost every one of your videos strikes a painful cord with me, this one has been the hardest. I now can see that in every single relationship I’ve ever had, whenever I needed something it’s been met with resistance, ignored, denied or somehow flipped & turned to into shaming me for asking. Thanks again for all that you are doing . You are showing ordinary guys like me how one sided the system is that we have been hoodwinked into. I believe you are saving real men’s lives. Thank you.
Wow, talk about shining a spot light on woman's behaviour... This is my story... I was with my ex for over 26 years and 20 of those years married to her. I worked hard, built a career, worked overtime and on call for years, bought new homes and did all the landscaping to add value to the homes and to the quality of our lives, planned and paid for holidays and did thousands of those little kindnesses for her. You know all those thing men do for their wives to show them that they are important to them, that they care about them, that they love them. And yes I was feeling good thinking we were building something together for our future. She was working a low paying job (~25K) for years. I tried to have an adult conversation with her to discuss her career options and that she could get a better paying job and help make a greater financial contribution to our plans. I got a childish response, "don't pressure me, don't... your stressing me... I'm trying" I tried this conversation once a year for a couple of years with the same response from her. Oh this gets better, then she starts nagging me about wanting to go part-time at work... at that time I was doing well at work, financially, and I relented and agreed so she could work the equivalent of four days instead of five. You know, what ever cupcake wanted to make her happy. So a couple of years after my ex had been working part-time, I get sick suffering from depression and burnout and needed a break from my job. She was well aware that I was sick as she would often accompany me to my doctors appointments. To cut a long story short, I needed a break to recover and asked her to return to full-time employment to help pay the bills... Her response... no. She wasn't going to do that. I left this with her to think about for about 10 months while I continued to work on my recovery. She still wasn't prepared to return to full-time employment. So I said I want a divorce. This didn't even shock her into reality... you would have though I'd asked her to fall on her sword just to go back to full-time employment for a while to help out. The fact that I was her partner for 26 years didn't matter to her, the fact that I had built a million dollar estate didn't matter to her, the fact that I had built a career for our benefit didn't matter to her, the fact that we were married didn't matter to her, the fact that I was building something for our future didn't matter to her, the fact that I needed her support to help protect the assets I'd worked so hard to acquire didn't matter to her, the fact that I was sick and asked her for her help didn't matter to her, Any one of these alone should have been enough for her to act, let alone all of them. So huMAN yes you nailed it.
"This didn't even shock her into reality... you would have though I'd asked her to fall on her sword just to go back to full-time employment for a while to help out." What happened next after you asked for a divorce? What was her reaction, did she make any changes, did the divorce cost you a lot of $$$? etc.
@@adriantomole1019 Hi Adrian, Her immediate reaction was to cry, once she realised her emotional reaction was not getting the response she was after, i.e. that I would crumble, apologise and backdown, she said okay I want my half. We had to live under the same roof until we could sell the house, took approx 2 years, I wasn't in a hurry and the market wasn't great so I took my time. In all that time she didn't come to any realisation about what was being destroyed (see my list). She didn't apologise or seek or make any attempt to reconcile, which to me would have signalled that she was moving from behaving like a child to an adult, see th-cam.com/video/A3dF1Fap258/w-d-xo.html I remained adult about this and negotiated a settlement that avoided a lengthly and costly legal battle i.e. only minimal costs to draw up the final settlement of the sale of the house.
@@happyandhapa1116 "you don't even deserve to be married or have children if you're not able to provide everything for her." Having children is not worth it if it requires kowtowing for decades to the whims of a woman.
@@happyandhapa1116 Yeah, it is. I had one such girlfriend. She didn't want equality in relationship when she was 29. Now, she's 33 and still unmarried. I wish her luck. I know many other entitled princesses like her in the same situation as her.
I changed my mind when I watched this video and after asking a cup of tea a simple request anyway , my daughter a 17 years old said to me ask your wife. This is a daughter I had had plans to hire a home tutoring in support. I have saved $1600 today by reversing my decision. ThankshuMAN
Ha ha ha. My bipolar ex couldn't do enough for me as I do work a lot of hours. BUT she would then use that as leverage when I called her out on something as she would run off the check list of what she had done 4 me that had absolutely nothing to do with the event in question. 🤦♂️
Every time you all feel yourself wandering and losing control, remember human will always be here to ground you and bring you to peace and harmony again after watching a video or two! Beautiful stuff!
I remember when my father in law was about a month from his death and he couldn't breathe. My wife was there asking her mom "where's the such and such for his oxygen?" and her mom's response was "I'm eating my lunch now". My wife went off on her. She's not like her mom and sister, she's more like a man and actually cares about other people. The man was literally dying, from working major OT at the power plant for years to support her lazy ass, and all she cared about was her lunch.
My girlfriend regularly asks me to go buy the takeaway, then she had a hissy fit the other day when I asked her to turn the kettle on. Quite astounding.
Last week I had a visit from my Brother and Sister in Law. During their visit to my home, the subject got around to domestic violence. It stemmed from a question by my sister in law about one of my neighbours. I said that she left and moved away and took the kids, she said why? I said well all I know is that she was demanding and she used to constantly yell and argue with her husband. My sister in law said well she would have done that because he must have done something wrong and that's why she left. I said well, in my opinion, shouting at and verbally abusing id domestic violence Sister in law said "Oh please, there is no domestic violence against men". I said I beg to differ. I then said what about the male suicide rate? She said the suicide rate among women is just as high or higher than men. At this point, my brother stepped in and changed the subject. To make it easy on my brother I didn't follow up but ever since I have thought how dare she talk over me in my home. I would never challenge her in her home. I will tell my brother that should she ever visit again, if she challenges me in my home or on neutral ground with her feminist ways I will take her to task.
As a man I had to stop and actually think about my own needs. It was a foreign feeling. It's crazy to think how indoctrinated we are. This was so deep. I had to listen to it multiple times.
Isn't it nuts... when you realise how LITTLE you require fairness and reciprocity? We walk around saying, "No, no, I'll do everything." ... asking for things and having needs of others is a good way to see how much people actually care, or if it's all just 'words'.
This.... really made sense. And it struck a chord with something else I read recently about the "Ben Franklin Effect". Doing favors for someone makes you like them... therefore, asking her for favors is actually a way to make her like you.
"...not based on how it makes you feel..." which is what I believe interests 99% or more into performing charitable acts. TV ads confirm this; one in particular--pimped by a blue pill effeminate-speaking mangina--reminds viewers of "how good giving makes you feel." Asswipes never get it; TRUE charity is an act of selfless giving, with no thoughts of recompense or spiritual transaction, just as you suggested.
This is precisely why I am happily alone because even in a relationship my needs were not relevant to everyone but me and I am not selfless anymore, it damn near killed me, I damn near killed me
Yeah good point, This is one of your most insightful videos. You are totally on point here. When you ask your woman to do a SMALL favour for you and she simply won't do it or she is so full of resentment you wish you never asked her.
Absolutely. You may discover 3 things as I see it: 1 - a lazy/selfish person, 2 - a verified narcissist, or 3 - a real partner. Now, it's not up to my standard to just "shit test" people straight up. But if you have a doubt, go ahead and either say "no" or ask her for what you actually need. This little test isn't bulletproof though. I've had one partner in particular who was willing to lend me money (which I pay back) and support me in various ways (usually in ways that looked like "playing marriage") but as soon as I wanted something that didn't involve some way like going for a weekend away on my own, or going climbing or fishing - it was a massive drama.
When they're younger they're willing to serve just as much as the man is. But after 3 or mor guys is all about ego and self. It is better you get them young when all they want to do is want u to love them.
What can i even ask of a women that i cant do for myself? I've been alone so long I cant even imagine what i could get a women to do for me that doesn't involve sex.
Why oh, why wasn't I aware of all this stuff earlier on in my life... Absolutely spot on! Thank you for all your effort and work you put in your channel!
@@Horche thats fine, but not every crazy person sees ghosts...some of em see real people! Lol But no, seriously, rich people exploited the love working class men had for their wives. Diamond rings, cars, fancy gatherings with plenty of catering. There was HUGE monetary incentive in exploiting this bond.... And that's exactly how history played out. A spattering love bomb in the 50s, just gushing with excitement, eroticism, and a series of decades where values in middle class America were discarded, and repackaged to us through factories located in foreign lands. The men, average men, who fought for and settled this country were sold out by everyone they helped.... Serves em right, I guess 😉
@@Macheako OK, I think I can now see your point! It does make sense in a way.. Like, in the way divorces favour the economy. Everything is doubled.. Housing, appliances, furniture, transportation.. I can understand your point of view!
Sad but true . A big part of the problem is guys like me ..... we don't like to rely on anyone to do what needs to be done . We have learned hard lessons thru life ( no matter how long or short ) that you can trust only one person ...yourself & if you screw up ; you have only one person to blame .. YOU . Unlike women who blame everyone else on the planet .
Yeah I started asking my girlfriend to do things for me too and she's now dragging her feet and she isn't as interested in us as she used to when we started out. It's like this relationship is something new to her and she's never been in something where she had to put in effort without anything in return for her.
Because we tend to confuse "needs" with "wants". Women usually have a longer list of those and possibly shallower, as you brilliantly pointed out. Keep up the good work.
When separating from my wife after an 8 year relationship. I compiled a list of things I did for her. A typed a4 page long Then I tried do list what she had done for me......I could only come up with 3 things. I could however come up with several things she refused to do for me. And this wasn't off the cuff, I spent several days racking my mind.
@mr nobody I can't recall exactly what I had on the list. She did pay the lease out on my car which I could not afford at the time.. in the divorce she claimed it was a loan. The main thing that pissed me off about the divorce was the lack of acknowledgement and appreciation for what I did for her. I was happy doing them though - it's the way men are.
@mr nobody its not that evil, it seems but its not, its childish at best, all female behaviour is a prove that they do not outgrow into mature adults, we all know and we all enable it.
@mr nobody yes, that was my failing, I thought that marriage was a sort of contract to always have each others back. I would have had her's. I was destroyed when I realised after so many years she didn't have my back. Never again.
I remember when my father passed away, and all I asked from my girlfriend is some compassion... She let me know that I should get over that soon, so I can continue to take care of her needs...
I had exactly the same experience .My fathers funeral ,my ex was annoyed she was not the centre of attention and exploded that night with an attack on me how she was neglected .I will never forget that experience
Genius video! Really has an impact on me as I just watched a male family member get married to a woman who’s a deeply concerning person/personality. I’ll be watching to see how kind she is to him.
Excellent observation Human. However when I have asked Exes for something in the past, rather than trying to worm themselves out of the request, more often than not they have said yes, but had an ulterior motive. Once they watched the football with me for example, they stored that 'favour' up as a debt to be recalled at a later time, and in a manner, of their choosing.
Relentless and Machiavellian with her needs and never yours. Great description! You ever hear the term “Machiavellian Mary?” A term for a manipulative, cunning and remorseless female supervisor. Somehow your description brought this to mind, and I know some of my married friends who see their spouses (sadly) in such a light.
I broke my arm six months ago in Thailand on a motorbike. I had to drive myself to hospital alone and then my Thai girlfriend said when are you coming home cos she wants to eat. This made me realise she is not the girl for me sitting there alone in a strange hospital in the middle of nowhere.
The only thing my wife did for me during our entire 15 year marriage was insist that I take out income insurance and life insurance to protect her benefits in the case of her losing her income (from me).
I once accused my ex-GF of not loving me but only needing me. Fool that I was, I didn't follow the logic of that accusation and act upon it and leave the relationship.
@@huMANs_channel I know I'll never forget it and I have kept that concept in mind ever since then. One of my few moments of clarity in an overly personally dramatic time in my life, which I didn't need, as it was in my final and most stressful year of veterinary school. There was a different woman, one-that-should-have-been, as my Rush-buddy and concert companion that year. But I failed to be as clear and communicative with her as I should have been, and she should have been also. Thanks for the great vids, as always!
Wow. You hit the nail on the head again in this one. I was in a three-year love affair, that was getting rocky...one date is great, the next was full of nagging...which I edited, waited it out, kept silent until she calmed down. Until one night, when she wanted to take dancing lessons, but they only offered times when I was working. She was adamant that I didn't care about her, I wasn't spontaneous enough (which is woman-speak for "you don't jump when I'm bored"). I mentioned that I missed the spontaneous reach out to touch me, hold my hand, show affection. Her answer? "I'd feel like I was a prostitute, if I have to do that". Yes, she implied that this shame I put on her amounted to doing what I wanted was forced. It hurt really bad, I even remember the place and time. I walked her to the subway, sent her home, and broke it all at our next date.
I’m so glad you brought this topic up because I was just thinking about it. All my ex’s always had something they needed from me/complain about. There was never any time for my needs, or my needs were trivial compared to hers.
As a data point, my wife (15 yrs) does do things for me (frequently) that I ask (and sometimes don't ask). However, I have been with women who act as you describe. Great video (as always), and thank you for the insight!
Thank you. I'm told I'm crazy for having these expectations. I'm sick of being a sacrifice. I have to take care of her and me? Its easyer to just take care of me. They see it as there is a guy who will do what they want just around the corner. So if you dont your out. Less men a swallowing the hook these days.
I know exactly what you’re talking about. I asked someone to fix me a scrambled egg sandwich and the look I got was as if I had spat on them. You’re supposed to do for one another out of love not because you’re looking for something out of it but because you enjoy doing for someone else to take care of to bond with etc.
My wife does things often for me without asking and sometimes even she does things for me I wished she wouldn't have done it so I don't have to feel bad about it haha. However her list of requests/issues is high, so it's kinda a two way street. But she is kind and a good person. However in general many (own experience like 90%) women seem to be exactly as you describe, very good dating advice. I'm 38 and my wife was only the 2nd real relationship I had with a woman. There were plenty in my life, all over the world literally but after I learned my lesson with the entitled, manipulative, narcissistic first Girlfriend, I knew what to look out for. After that abusive relationship, only 2 women within an almost 10 year time period were actually caring about my needs, being supportive and kind. One didn't work out due to long distance and my own projects (it was clear early on... one of these "in another lifetime maybe" kind of things), the other one is my wife I'm married to for 4 years now.
Perfect. That is precisely what I have observed for years but failed to articulate very well. I find that in addition to that is the resentment that builds over time when "pumpkin" does what you ask when she didn't want to. It's almost like reality tells them they aren't equal to me everyday and although they have their own special traits that are solely their own, the teachings they got from early childhood convinced them they were indeed equal, and that is a cause for never-ending irritation in them. I dont think we as men understand this because we don't envy women their special status, but they sure do envy men for ours.
This reminds me of a girlfriend I had, as I was recovering from an ailment I asked that I needed to be alone for a few days without contact, because it helps me recalibrate my head from time to time, so she flips out, gets mad, and says she don't want to talk to me at all. All of that happened though I have informed her before that I need these timed-seclusions to recharge and she said that she understood. It really shows how solipsistic a w0man can be even when they try to mask it.
This is the biggest challenge in my life. My conditioning was strong and I fall into this naturally. It’s only when I stop and think do I realize I’ve become a slave under that conditioning.
Very sound advice. It made me look back and I tried to remember if I ever asked anything for myself of the women in my life. I couldn't remember. I'm self-sufficient to the degree that I don't need anything from them neither expect them to do anything beyond regular things like minimal cleaning and house chores. That really means they have little value other than for sex... That's really depressing.
Honestly if men just step out of the illusion for a brief moment and actually test their female partners to see if they truly care or love em they would be shocked at the results and alot of breakups .
Like yourself, it took me years to see this. I knew.. or thought my wife to be an honest, upright, compassionate person, who literally worked for the welfare of orphans and homeless children. But if I ever asked for her to, for example, pick something up at a store she was near, and save me an 80 mile trip.., it was as if I was asking her to take a bullet. In a very real sense.. I was almost her slave..; but looking back, I realized she never once offered me a glass of water or brought me (the brass ring) a cold beer.., and I would never dream of asking. And, come to think of it.., I heard the "that's-just-not-me" excuse more than a few times.
huMAN. watching it second time after a year and enjoying the suffering (!) again. Lately it seems that life decided to teach me a thorough lesson in ungratefulness, and it did so mainly trough the women in my life. I did so much for them every time they needed my. they knew they can rely and count on my, that I won't disappoint them, but when it finally came to point when I asked something from then, however minor, they revealed their narrow short sited egoistic nature. Not only they didn't help me but even attacked and criticized me. You nailed it: "most men believe their women loves them. put it to he test. you might be surprised." Well, I did tested it and ... SURPRISE!!
I wish I could have this conversation with my younger self, but since that is obviously not possible, I'm having it with my future self, and I think I'll be a lot better off for it.
A little trick women do that i discovered recently is this , I got tired of doing all the yard work by myself so i ask my partner to do the wiper sniper while i mowed , she protested but knew i wasn't going to take '' No '' for a answer . She played dumb on how to start it after explaing 3 times then complained she couldnt hold it up then deliberly missed half the edging needed to be cut , In pure frustration i said leave it i'll do it my-self which of course was her plan all a long . They are quite capable of doing simple jobs but use these tactics to get out of jobs or frustrate us so we dont ask them in the future for help again .
Oh boy, I've been down that road all too often and most of the time I would listen to, "I'm my own person" or "I'll do what I want" because I have certain expectations in relationships. Of course, when I hear those words, my reply would always be: "Great, if you want to [FILL IN BLANK] then there's the door, so go be/do whatever you want somewhere else". Let me just say I wish more men took this approach because it's how, as a man, you're not treated like a doormat in a relationship and how you can weed out a partner.
I remember a time when a girlfriend once ironed my shirt. I almost fainted from shock. I never asked for it. There did not appear to be an agenda. She just did it. It touched me to the core.
I had a similar experience. I had a platonic sleepover with a female friend. As I was getting dressed the next morning to head straight to work, she looked at me in her nightgown and said, “take off your pants.” A little confused, I said “I don’t have time now.” She said it’s not going to take me long to iron those pants. I can’t let you leave my house wearing wrinkled pants.” I sat dumbfounded in my boxers watching her as she steam pressed my trousers to nearly dry clean crispness. To this day it remains one of the most intimate caring encounters I have had with a female. As Joker would say... Shhhhhhoking!
Dont mention feckin ironing my ex would spend half of Sundays ironing her work clothes and the childrens. I had to be eternally grateful if she ironed one shirt.I now realise she was doing this to avoid any hard work LOL
Omg, have you been with the same women, i've been with? I've just started watching your video's, and everything your saying is spot on. Your continually talking about my ex.
Thanks for this video going through a divorce at the moment this sums up my marriage. Never ask for anything, But bought flowers every other month, Made her Breakfast in bed, Watched all the shitty romantic movies. Spend money we did not have on shit we did not need. COULD NOT MAKE HER HAPPY. Being living on my own for 4 years now it has taken me a long time to realise I am the prize, Have views worth hearing and don't need approval for them. Also impossible to have a decent conversation on current affairs or anything that does not affect her. THANKS AGAIN.
I used to tell my now ex- “you’re not happy unless you’re unhappy”. She’d spend hours on craft projects she’d give away, but I’d ask her to do something for me while she was out that was literally right on her way, and I’d get the “why can’t you do it?” in response. I’d point out that she’d never want to help me, but always wanted me to do things for her. I’d get sick, and she’d literally get mad at me for being sick. I had joint replacement surgeries and between three of them (one re-do), I literally had her help me maybe a total of three minutes. I knew I couldn’t depend on her.
Spot on, 100%, all women, all my relationships. Once when my wife of 15 years was abroad on a vacation in her home country with our small children, we were speaking on the phone and told her i missed them very much but that i was feeling really alone, unmotivated and depressed since i was only working and living in an empty home without them, wishing i could be with them having a good time, but i had to work, i said it felt like one of the lowest points in my life. She did not even respond to me, there was a silence and when i asked her did you hear what i said? She said yes. That taught me / reminded me, once again, that i am on my own in this relationship and that she can never really be relied upon. A simple sentence of understanding and kindness from her would have lifted my spirit and given me energy to carry on until they came home, instead i felt abandonment and resentment, damn shame.
I hear you, FLUKVE...This brings back memories for me too... it's when you can feel them 'stunned', annoyed, or turned off at how to respond to your need for sympathy or acknowledgement. Or worse, I've had them get annoyed, or 'serious' with me instead of the opposite reaction that was called for... Very telling, isn't it?
I went thru the same my ex went back to her country of birth with the kids . I looked after the farm and pets she rang twice in six weeks ,I rang once and she said what did I want !!
Why don't you guys just become ghey then? You guys seem new appreciate and understand each other more than every woman on the planet. And if it's so hard to live and have relationship with them why are you pursuing it so hard?
@@alonzomosley7 How about maybe you didn't talk to her for the entire trip if you had telecommunications?
It's your wife once a week is too long.... No wonder she left
@@RobeonMew go and play league of legends
Seriously. I have a 'friend' that is always asking me for favors - take her to the airport, etc.... After three years of this, my car broke down and I needed help getting some clothing for a job interview. She said no, because she was 'busy relaxing'. I haven't done her a favor, since.
on her fb...
"hey. remember when i did this for you and got that for you? remember when the day came and my car broke down i needed you for a change? you told me "im busy relaxing"" ...just saying thanks for seperating yourself from the rest. or i mean being just like the rest"
...ruin the pos. or she'l do the same thing again and again. don't let her just use you.
you called her a friend, please correct that lol
@@LestatTravesty Haha... I had it in quotes, but I changed it. I'll put them back. 👍
@LestatTravesty ghosting/indifference is always better, sending some whining Facebook message just makes you look weak and needy. You are also just giving her info on how to keep her donkeys running longer.
And you`re still friends with this woman!?? FMD......
Nailed it. Many men are shocked that their wives won't do simple things like pick up their medications when they are sick. Even seem disgusted by our weakened state. These traits were always there. You simply ignored it. Don't.
My ex wouldn't even meet me at the airport to pick me up ... had to get a cab every time. It took her a month to pick up some of my clothes at the cleaners which was walking distance from her office too. This was the beginning of the end.
I just shake my head every time at work when one of my female co-workers is completely disgusted by her husband being sick and, 'whining,' to her that he doesn't feel good. She wants him to, 'shut up,' and, 'stop being a bitch,'. Like, what? I'm SO FUCKING GLAD every time I see that to be single and not married to some unfeeling, inhuman monster.
@@h445 Damn... I actually had short convo with a woman coworker lately... her husband works at the other plant and she was like "men are the worst babies when they're sick" etc and I'm like "yo, maybe because we want you to hug us and take care of us you know, like being lovable person" and she kind of backed off but I'm not sure she understood it or not. That Canadian woman is so fucking bitter LOL. Fucking hag. Like why women are even like that? Where is fucking DECENCY? How can you be so cold?
brnt034 my ex wife was lazy AF and would not like doing anything for me. Period. She wouldn't go with me to the winternationals event for drag racing. She doesn't like it. So, she doesn't want to do it. Period. Yeah, I walked away.
Maybe you should pick better women.
The only one I was married to for 7 years ultimately failed the test. I crashed with my mountain bike, broke my wrist and dislocated my shoulder. I called her to get me to the nearest first-aid post.
1st she didn't answer the phone at first, while I knew she was at home and had nothing important going on.
2nd, after getting her eventually on the phone, it took her about an hour to get to me, whilst I was about a 15 min drive (by car) from home.
3rd, in the hospital she was nagging against the medic that I didn't serve her needs earlier that day.
Long story short, I was the one making the money, did a lot around the house including cooking most of the time.
She had some parttime jobs, but actually, she didn't like to work so much. Basically, she was living off me and I was also financing her stupid hobbies to keep her 'happy'.
I was disabled for a week after the accident and she did hospitalize me, but only for her own needs being afraid I was leaving her. I divorced her a few months later. Not being the main reason, but this was enough to pull the trigger.
You did the right thing by divorcing her.
Damn bro! That sounds very cold. Glad you got out of there. No need to feed the narcissist. I've always been criticized by other men by my demands of women. They are now seeing it as I do. If they can't do some of the simplest things that I ask of them, I get rid of them quick.
@@marinekappa82
PREACH!
That's the way to do it.
Sounds familiar and I'm in the process of getting divorced
Six Five and Will Eat You Alive - Sorry to hear that!
My 21 year old wife, Turned Feminist, as IF bitten by a Feminist Vampire. 👿
I went out on all Day boat trip with neighbors, and we nearly ALL Drowned.
I got back, and she could care less IF I made it back.
Finally Divorced this Gold-Digging, Cock Carousel 🎠💃 Riding Femtard, who cleaned out my Joint Savings/Checking Account.
She Did worse to Hubby #2.!
You can give her the world and she will STILL cheat on you and ghost you!
@@Macheako it happens when men think with their dick. vagina owner knows it !
Funny that, right on both counts........I started to pull away and that was that, she did the disappearing trick, even after supporting her for many many years. Dont be a fool Gents lol
So will he! Just because they're organs are shaped differently than yours doesn't make it that it has to happen like that.
Unless you're telling me that thy will be done, And that they have no control over it that its God's will.
@@RobeonMew Are you so sure about that?
That’s exactly how my marriage was. If i didn’t do everything that she wanted all of a sudden i was “no good” or “lazy”.
The best thing to happen to me was leaving and deciding to be happy and loving myself.
Since i’ve been separated(few months now) from my wife of almost 10 years i’ve lost weight, spent more time with my teenage sons(not from my wife, we never had kids) and started to laugh and enjoy life.
Young guys who read this listen to my advice. Don’t EVER get married and don’t ever let a woman control your money or how you see yourself.
Love yourself FIRST!! Take care gentlemen, i wish you all nothing but the best.
truth is, in any relationship with "her" , you have to do at least 95% of work. If you ask for reciprocity (GOD forbid), boy, you're out :" i don't know what i want, "we're not on the same page ", " i think it's better to stay just friends"
Astaroth Alex I heard the “we’re not on the same page” before she asked for a divorce and told me she was in love with another man.
Great advice for the next generation.
Glad you are happy.
Keep it that way.
Stay blessed.
Oh, and in addition, isn’t it weird how you can help out 364 days out of the year, but if you don’t do that one special day, one special party, or one special event, well, “you’re selfish”. 🙃
With so many special days within the year.
Hence the expression, "what have you done for me *lately?"* All past actions are null and void in the face of present action(s) or the lack thereof.
W Thomas Exactly. I kept not wanting to believe it, overlooking it. But you are 100% correct.
Luc Chasse yeah, you aren’t wrong. Glad I didn’t pass that test, in retrospect, all it meant was I’d feel ashamed of myself for willingly submitting to slavery. Or worse, grow to love the chains. But geez, looking back, I only wanted to see a smile. To hell with me for thinking that was realistic 😝
Instinctively, if someone of any gender need something very important, we tend to ask for a man.
Men ARE providers
Be aware of the 'I cooked for you' trick. She cooked for 'us' ie she cooked what she wanted, and really, cooking for 2 people is just the same as cooking for one. I appreciate someone cooking for me, its just not as big a deal as they imagine.
Let’s be reel about the I cooked for you usually they cook there favorite food not your it’s like being in your parents house you eat what she makes shoot I know guys that request other food and there foreign wives say no we are a fill in the blank house Asian Mexican what ever yet the man provided everything and she won’t cook American food yet these guys think there lucky lucky my ......
@mr nobody My ex wife cooked me one meal in 13 years. The vegetables were still raw and the pasta was uncooked, lasagne is fucking easy really. They just don't care, they don't care.
My ex cooked for me exactly ONE time. She took a piece of pita bread, smeared some Ragu tomato sauce on it, sprinkled some parmesian cheese over it and then microwaved it for a minute. Tada! She called it a pizza. I called it grounds for divorce.
@@pauldavid167 My ex cooked for me exactly ONE time too. She took a piece of pita bread, smeared some Ragu tomato sauce on it, sprinkled some parmesian cheese over it and then microwaved it for a minute. Tada! She called it a pizza. I called it grounds for divorce.
This one made me laugh. My ex-wife used to bitch about cooking every night. And would then tell me it's my turn to cook. The funny thing was, I was both working and going to school full-time. I was lucky if I ate anything she cooked more than once a week, if that for three years. Towards the end her go to threat was I'm not cooking for you. The problem was, at that point I hadn't had anything she cooked in the better part of two years.
The irony being. Is that years later her cooking is the only thing good I have to say about her.
Doing god's work here.
Cheers, Paul 👍
Wow. This really hits the nail on the head. As soon as I had an issue, it was almost viewed as “Christ, I have to pretend to care about your issue?”. It’s almost like when the “tool” starts squeaking, well, it’s broken, and it’s time to get a new one. Whereas, when she had a constant flavor-of-the-week issue, I would really try to help out. Because why wouldn’t I? I enjoyed just seeing that issue off her plate. It made me happy, seeing her happy. Too bad it’s only a one way street. :/
Edit: Oh and in the end, I did everything “wrong” or “that’s not what I really wanted”. Magically. 😝
Mario Martin oh for sure. I should have seen it sooner to be honest, but when you’re involved in it, somehow, you can’t see the forest through the trees.
While some of her excuses may be negotiable, the "why should I" is a definite deal breaker!
"Picnics with stupid blankets on the grass" ... story of my life
I laughed at that too bloody hate picnics
@@alonzomosley7 Especially one's in violent weather, that everyone tries to pretend is fine.
top subject, i actually did this but in a slightly different way, i told her to her face ' you don't do anything for me, i quit.'
i'm a giver like most men, but never confuse my kindness as a weakness.
After 22 years of giving, I walked.
@@WilliaminOz Here is the irony. Most of us don't want to marry a prostitute and sugar daddy girls, and yet they're much better wife materials than Western women. Go figure!
I went red pill a year ago and have never been happier. This weekend has been spent mostly stopping my pal from going under after he received a text from his girlfriend
"I have met someone else and we have slept together so it is over for us. He makes me happy and is very good for me".
ME ME ME ME ME ME
She gave him a gift.
Treasure that gift, and tell your lad to move on.
Tell your friend that is the best think that will happen to him. Been there and 2 years later life rocks!!!! Don't give her two seconds of your thoughts. Peace
@@threethrushes
PREACH!
Your friend has had a LUCKY ESCAPE!
What is the proper response (if any) - As in, how did you advise your friend to handle that message?
cheers
Not just relationships - even rando women at work!
Xeno Bob I’m surrounded by women at work, it’s a nightmare.. they all act like children when something stressful comes their way and con us guys into taking over
Spot on this is one that a lot of guys miss, test her at work
I used to think I was the only Man experiencing this behaviour before I discovered MGTOW Philosophy 5 years ago.
The human female simply doesn't _do_ anything without payment or benefit to herself.
Briffaults law
MGTOW Lite - absolutely the same with me: I am the only one, what I am doing wrong, why no ability to reason, no respect and listen to point of view different from hers ????? Than discover MGTOW...... now in peace.
In relation to the adult male that is they can be very kind to children
It’s a mans job to respect a woman but it’s a woman’s job to give him something to respect.
Ok . Makes sense. Thanks for sharing 👍🏻
@Mr Offensington it's fucking stupid... isn't it? Why do I have to always make sure I'm better than her, hold the frame (I enjoy it but it's also a curse sometimes) and kind of show I don't love her too much so I crank up her hamster wheels? Relationships are exhausting. That's why I just pump and dump once in a while, have casual night and go back to monk mode living my own life.
How about when you pay my bills you can tell me what my fuckin job is? 🤣
Todays women are all who res. Are you saying man should respect who res?
It is our job to respect what is virtous
I used this tactic several years ago on my Mom (to ascertain if I was just being used by her or if she actually cared). At the time she lived 50 miles away from me and my birthday was coming up. I asked her to come visit. She said it was too far and that she didn't know the area very well. Then a week later she drives 180 miles to see my pregnant sister to take her to see the OB-GYN and then drove back home in one day. That answered my question. People who like/love you will make time. People who don't will make excuses.
I wish I could say I had a different experience.
Almost everything a woman does, is a transaction. They must secretly laugh at men who do things that are not. They cannot comprehend doing something simply out of the goodness of their heart. Because there is no goodness in her heart. It's ruthless, cruel, and gotta give it to them, extremely focused on THEMSELVES, and themselves only.
And I really hate feeling this way about women. I do. But these are the facts.
I know the feeling man... I try to be a good person, but I simply cannot PRETEND to be an idiot.
Hey huMAN, I just checked my Google spam and your like showed up there, and no bell or notification on TH-cam. They (our betters at TH-cam) must be doing something.
@@huMANs_channel Ah, ok. Now it's showing up on the bell. Yes, perhaps it's our earlier programming when younger men, what we're told about women.
But the reality is reality. They had their mask for a long time, and it's fallen full off now. For those with the eyes to see, at least.
Fucking epic insight you shared with us all bro. Thank you, and I just subscribed to you BTW.
my niece sponsored a kid in need with 21 cents a month lmfao.. whole got dam world knew she sponsored the poor kid though.
Poor kid.
Wtf did he do to deserve to have some 'goody-two shoes' involved in his support.
You can see examples like this when their virtue signaling meets up against her supposed friends, the real people she claims to care about. I'd almost respect them more if they were honest and said their self gratification ment more to them than the people in their lives.
This is a good comment. The thought should extend to men also. I practice what Ayn Rand calls selfish altruism. I'll do things for others, but expect a return in mind, spirit or future material remuneration.
Beware or the narcissist who does "favours" for people expecting something in return.
I don’t particularly like Rollo, but he talks often that females will not do anything for the express pleasure of men. Ill be damned if thats not true
Istlota Everyman are you sure that you don’t mean Jordan Peterson
Istlota Everyman I have not seen those videos. But I have seen him speak in person about a year ago. At the time his mother was dying, his audible narrator who is a close friend is extremely ill. He was supporting his mother. He looked physically ill. He was fighting with the 21 Conv. If what you said is true cut him some slack dude men are human. Part of it is accepting what you find helpful and letting the man do the rest of his life.
@@twilightroach4274 you are are right it is, Jordan Peterson
Jason Wilson no its not jordan peterson i was talking about. How the hell did yall come up with that. ROLLO as i clearly stated
@@puremaledark8305 You're having the the two participants reversed, it's not Rollo who checked into rehab. ..
My wife asked me to take her to somewhere she never been and I took her to the kitchen, good video HUMAN
Rodney Dangerfield said that joke 😅🤣😅🤣
That's brilliant!
@@saml179 Rodney was a treasure. "The other day I asked a cabdriver where I could get some action. He took me to MY house!".
Lol 😆
LMAO
I have seen the "always do for me, never do for you" attitude in women in my own family. If my cousin forgot her homework, they would break their necks to drive to the school to get it to her. If me or my male cousin needed to be driven to school due to the size of a project, we would hear how much "pressure" we were putting on them and "your cutting into my job.", "why cant you do it at school?", or my favorite one "maybe do a project within your means and dont think to big". Thankfully, this taught me red flags to look for in the women I dated.
Hey Human, Almost every one of your videos strikes a painful cord with me, this one has been the hardest. I now can see that in every single relationship I’ve ever had, whenever I needed something it’s been met with resistance, ignored, denied or somehow flipped & turned to into shaming me for asking. Thanks again for all that you are doing . You are showing ordinary guys like me how one sided the system is that we have been hoodwinked into.
I believe you are saving real men’s lives. Thank you.
Wow, talk about shining a spot light on woman's behaviour...
This is my story...
I was with my ex for over 26 years and 20 of those years married to her. I worked hard, built a career, worked overtime and on call for years, bought new homes and did all the landscaping to add value to the homes and to the quality of our lives, planned and paid for holidays and did thousands of those little kindnesses for her. You know all those thing men do for their wives to show them that they are important to them, that they care about them, that they love them. And yes I was feeling good thinking we were building something together for our future.
She was working a low paying job (~25K) for years. I tried to have an adult conversation with her to discuss her career options and that she could get a better paying job and help make a greater financial contribution to our plans. I got a childish response, "don't pressure me, don't... your stressing me... I'm trying" I tried this conversation once a year for a couple of years with the same response from her.
Oh this gets better, then she starts nagging me about wanting to go part-time at work... at that time I was doing well at work, financially, and I relented and agreed so she could work the equivalent of four days instead of five. You know, what ever cupcake wanted to make her happy.
So a couple of years after my ex had been working part-time, I get sick suffering from depression and burnout and needed a break from my job. She was well aware that I was sick as she would often accompany me to my doctors appointments. To cut a long story short, I needed a break to recover and asked her to return to full-time employment to help pay the bills... Her response... no. She wasn't going to do that.
I left this with her to think about for about 10 months while I continued to work on my recovery. She still wasn't prepared to return to full-time employment. So I said I want a divorce. This didn't even shock her into reality... you would have though I'd asked her to fall on her sword just to go back to full-time employment for a while to help out.
The fact that I was her partner for 26 years didn't matter to her,
the fact that I had built a million dollar estate didn't matter to her,
the fact that I had built a career for our benefit didn't matter to her,
the fact that we were married didn't matter to her,
the fact that I was building something for our future didn't matter to her,
the fact that I needed her support to help protect the assets I'd worked so hard to acquire didn't matter to her,
the fact that I was sick and asked her for her help didn't matter to her,
Any one of these alone should have been enough for her to act, let alone all of them.
So huMAN yes you nailed it.
"This didn't even shock her into reality... you would have though I'd asked her to fall on her sword just to go back to full-time employment for a while to help out." What happened next after you asked for a divorce? What was her reaction, did she make any changes, did the divorce cost you a lot of $$$? etc.
@@adriantomole1019 Hi Adrian, Her immediate reaction was to cry, once she realised her emotional reaction was not getting the response she was after, i.e. that I would crumble, apologise and backdown, she said okay I want my half.
We had to live under the same roof until we could sell the house, took approx 2 years, I wasn't in a hurry and the market wasn't great so I took my time. In all that time she didn't come to any realisation about what was being destroyed (see my list). She didn't apologise or seek or make any attempt to reconcile, which to me would have signalled that she was moving from behaving like a child to an adult, see th-cam.com/video/A3dF1Fap258/w-d-xo.html
I remained adult about this and negotiated a settlement that avoided a lengthly and costly legal battle i.e. only minimal costs to draw up the final settlement of the sale of the house.
@@happyandhapa1116 "you don't even deserve to be married or have children if you're not able to provide everything for her." Having children is not worth it if it requires kowtowing for decades to the whims of a woman.
@@happyandhapa1116 Female lions can do both. Female humans seem to be lazier. Female lions >> female humans. :)
@@happyandhapa1116 Yeah, it is. I had one such girlfriend. She didn't want equality in relationship when she was 29. Now, she's 33 and still unmarried. I wish her luck. I know many other entitled princesses like her in the same situation as her.
They don't want to do a kindness toward you because they are the caring\gentle gender! /Sarcasm /end of discussion
God bless u , Men for sharing Facts.
I changed my mind when I watched this video and after asking a cup of tea a simple request anyway , my daughter a 17 years old said to me ask your wife. This is a daughter I had had plans to hire a home tutoring in support. I have saved $1600 today by reversing my decision. ThankshuMAN
Ha ha ha. My bipolar ex couldn't do enough for me as I do work a lot of hours. BUT she would then use that as leverage when I called her out on something as she would run off the check list of what she had done 4 me that had absolutely nothing to do with the event in question. 🤦♂️
Ask her to get the hell out 😏
lmao :))
hey babe. can you start my car on you way out in the morning. its post be chilly morning ya know lol
Every time you all feel yourself wandering and losing control, remember human will always be here to ground you and bring you to peace and harmony again after watching a video or two!
Beautiful stuff!
I remember when my father in law was about a month from his death and he couldn't breathe. My wife was there asking her mom "where's the such and such for his oxygen?" and her mom's response was "I'm eating my lunch now". My wife went off on her. She's not like her mom and sister, she's more like a man and actually cares about other people.
The man was literally dying, from working major OT at the power plant for years to support her lazy ass, and all she cared about was her lunch.
Hmmm...it's ALMOST as if women are...children
Well if they aren't, it sure seems like their favourite past-time is acting like children.
As if? As if?
“Your actions become your habits, your habits become your character and your character becomes your destiny.”
Don’t be her Jeeves
My girlfriend regularly asks me to go buy the takeaway, then she had a hissy fit the other day when I asked her to turn the kettle on. Quite astounding.
@@Elite_Gamer_1337 she will call the police - domestic violence ! u can't win slave boy .
@@Elite_Gamer_1337 lol
Did you leave her?
Last week I had a visit from my Brother and Sister in Law. During their visit to my home, the subject got around to domestic violence. It stemmed from a question by my sister in law about one of my neighbours. I said that she left and moved away and took the kids, she said why? I said well all I know is that she was demanding and she used to constantly yell and argue with her husband. My sister in law said well she would have done that because he must have done something wrong and that's why she left. I said well, in my opinion, shouting at and verbally abusing id domestic violence Sister in law said "Oh please, there is no domestic violence against men". I said I beg to differ. I then said what about the male suicide rate? She said the suicide rate among women is just as high or higher than men. At this point, my brother stepped in and changed the subject. To make it easy on my brother I didn't follow up but ever since I have thought how dare she talk over me in my home. I would never challenge her in her home. I will tell my brother that should she ever visit again, if she challenges me in my home or on neutral ground with her feminist ways I will take her to task.
Did she try it out again?
Only thing i ever asked for was congruence and virtue. (Stupid of myself to think these ideas are possible to ask.).
Men are realizing that now... Slowly.
Facts man, it’s sad I’m learning about this later in my 20s
@@firstlast_x, Some never learn. The hardest part for myself was the naivety of most people. This doesn't bother me so much now.
Virtue is a male project.
Forget about finding this quality in most men, leave alone females.
@Luc Chasse Funny thing, i never really tired, might have been my saving grace now you have mentioned it.
My divorce hurt. BUT what really hurt to the core was my ex telling me I 'bought' friendships. She NEVER gave to feel the joy of giving. I'm free!
God I wish I saw this 20 years ago.Ever young guy looking at marriage should watch this .Excellent advice Human .Thank you
As a man I had to stop and actually think about my own needs. It was a foreign feeling.
It's crazy to think how indoctrinated we are.
This was so deep. I had to listen to it multiple times.
Isn't it nuts... when you realise how LITTLE you require fairness and reciprocity? We walk around saying, "No, no, I'll do everything." ... asking for things and having needs of others is a good way to see how much people actually care, or if it's all just 'words'.
This.... really made sense.
And it struck a chord with something else I read recently about the "Ben Franklin Effect".
Doing favors for someone makes you like them... therefore, asking her for favors is actually a way to make her like you.
To do "good" simply because it is "good"...not based on how it makes you feel or to recieve a benefit. Ahhh how truly rare indeed.
Yea, like us men KNOW what the fuck is truly GOOD 🤣🤣🤣🤣
"...not based on how it makes you feel..." which is what I believe interests 99% or more into performing charitable acts. TV ads confirm this; one in particular--pimped by a blue pill effeminate-speaking mangina--reminds viewers of "how good giving makes you feel." Asswipes never get it; TRUE charity is an act of selfless giving, with no thoughts of recompense or spiritual transaction, just as you suggested.
@@FenderBassMan that's right true love has no reciprocal that's why a womans love can't be so...
This is precisely why I am happily alone because even in a relationship my needs were not relevant to everyone but me and I am not selfless anymore, it damn near killed me, I damn near killed me
Yeah good point, This is one of your most insightful videos. You are totally on point here. When you ask your woman to do a SMALL favour for you and she simply won't do it or she is so full of resentment you wish you never asked her.
Absolutely. You may discover 3 things as I see it: 1 - a lazy/selfish person, 2 - a verified narcissist, or 3 - a real partner.
Now, it's not up to my standard to just "shit test" people straight up. But if you have a doubt, go ahead and either say "no" or ask her for what you actually need.
This little test isn't bulletproof though.
I've had one partner in particular who was willing to lend me money (which I pay back) and support me in various ways (usually in ways that looked like "playing marriage") but as soon as I wanted something that didn't involve some way like going for a weekend away on my own, or going climbing or fishing - it was a massive drama.
When they're younger they're willing to serve just as much as the man is. But after 3 or mor guys is all about ego and self. It is better you get them young when all they want to do is want u to love them.
What can i even ask of a women that i cant do for myself? I've been alone so long I cant even imagine what i could get a women to do for me that doesn't involve sex.
Why oh, why wasn't I aware of all this stuff earlier on in my life... Absolutely spot on! Thank you for all your effort and work you put in your channel!
Because rich people have an incentive to keep us average folk dumb and deaf when it comes to female nature....
@@Macheako I fail to see the connection between wealth and rich people and this specific matter..
@@Horche thats fine, but not every crazy person sees ghosts...some of em see real people! Lol
But no, seriously, rich people exploited the love working class men had for their wives. Diamond rings, cars, fancy gatherings with plenty of catering. There was HUGE monetary incentive in exploiting this bond....
And that's exactly how history played out. A spattering love bomb in the 50s, just gushing with excitement, eroticism, and a series of decades where values in middle class America were discarded, and repackaged to us through factories located in foreign lands.
The men, average men, who fought for and settled this country were sold out by everyone they helped....
Serves em right, I guess 😉
@@Macheako OK, I think I can now see your point! It does make sense in a way.. Like, in the way divorces favour the economy. Everything is doubled.. Housing, appliances, furniture, transportation.. I can understand your point of view!
Sad but true . A big part of the problem is guys like me ..... we don't like to rely on anyone to do what needs to be done . We have learned hard lessons thru life ( no matter how long or short ) that you can trust only one person ...yourself & if you screw up ; you have only one person to blame .. YOU . Unlike women who blame everyone else on the planet .
Yeah I started asking my girlfriend to do things for me too and she's now dragging her feet and she isn't as interested in us as she used to when we started out. It's like this relationship is something new to her and she's never been in something where she had to put in effort without anything in return for her.
It's all double standards and that's why I am done. When people ask me that's what I tell em. Cheers. Great video Human
Don’t be wimp, have some needs?
WOW what a powerful message
Many thanks huMAN 🙏🏿
Because we tend to confuse "needs" with "wants". Women usually have a longer list of those and possibly shallower, as you brilliantly pointed out. Keep up the good work.
When separating from my wife after an 8 year relationship. I compiled a list of things I did for her. A typed a4 page long Then I tried do list what she had done for me......I could only come up with 3 things. I could however come up with several things she refused to do for me.
And this wasn't off the cuff, I spent several days racking my mind.
@mr nobody I can't recall exactly what I had on the list. She did pay the lease out on my car which I could not afford at the time.. in the divorce she claimed it was a loan.
The main thing that pissed me off about the divorce was the lack of acknowledgement and appreciation for what I did for her. I was happy doing them though - it's the way men are.
@mr nobody its not that evil, it seems but its not, its childish at best, all female behaviour is a prove that they do not outgrow into mature adults, we all know and we all enable it.
@mr nobody yes, that was my failing, I thought that marriage was a sort of contract to always have each others back. I would have had her's. I was destroyed when I realised after so many years she didn't have my back.
Never again.
Humble and kind towards the man in front of them... impossible. Their pets on the other hand...
I remember when my father passed away, and all I asked from my girlfriend is some compassion... She let me know that I should get over that soon, so I can continue to take care of her needs...
I had exactly the same experience .My fathers funeral ,my ex was annoyed she was not the centre of attention and exploded that night with an attack on me how she was neglected .I will never forget that experience
Daniel a
What a c-word
And then you dumped her and bought a doll.
Genius video! Really has an impact on me as I just watched a male family member get married to a woman who’s a deeply concerning person/personality. I’ll be watching to see how kind she is to him.
Spot on...... if she doesn’t benefit.... she’s not interested....
Excellent observation Human. However when I have asked Exes for something in the past, rather than trying to worm themselves out of the request, more often than not they have said yes, but had an ulterior motive. Once they watched the football with me for example, they stored that 'favour' up as a debt to be recalled at a later time, and in a manner, of their choosing.
Relentless and Machiavellian with her needs and never yours. Great description!
You ever hear the term “Machiavellian Mary?” A term for a manipulative, cunning and remorseless female supervisor. Somehow your description brought this to mind, and I know some of my married friends who see their spouses (sadly) in such a light.
Never heard of “Machiavellian Mary"... but now i have :)
Thanks.
Current civilization has produced countless divisions, regiments and brigades of diehard sociopaths. Or has it always been this way, deep down?
I broke my arm six months ago in Thailand on a motorbike. I had to drive myself to hospital alone and then my Thai girlfriend said when are you coming home cos she wants to eat. This made me realise she is not the girl for me sitting there alone in a strange hospital in the middle of nowhere.
I mean.... I actually like stupid blankets on the grass 🙂
Picnics are underrated
I feckin hate stupid blankets and picnics. Compulsory fun
The only thing my wife did for me during our entire 15 year marriage was insist that I take out income insurance and life insurance to protect her benefits in the case of her losing her income (from me).
SOooo. . . these 'creatures' are keenly selfish.
I've found it hard for me to be loving in such an unlovable world
Loving with boundaries and eyes open, is more sensible.... like can get miserable without feeling good.
I once accused my ex-GF of not loving me but only needing me. Fool that I was, I didn't follow the logic of that accusation and act upon it and leave the relationship.
At least you were astute enough to see/say that... well done.
@@huMANs_channel I know I'll never forget it and I have kept that concept in mind ever since then. One of my few moments of clarity in an overly personally dramatic time in my life, which I didn't need, as it was in my final and most stressful year of veterinary school. There was a different woman, one-that-should-have-been, as my Rush-buddy and concert companion that year. But I failed to be as clear and communicative with her as I should have been, and she should have been also. Thanks for the great vids, as always!
Wow. You hit the nail on the head again in this one. I was in a three-year love affair, that was getting rocky...one date is great, the next was full of nagging...which I edited, waited it out, kept silent until she calmed down. Until one night, when she wanted to take dancing lessons, but they only offered times when I was working. She was adamant that I didn't care about her, I wasn't spontaneous enough (which is woman-speak for "you don't jump when I'm bored"). I mentioned that I missed the spontaneous reach out to touch me, hold my hand, show affection. Her answer? "I'd feel like I was a prostitute, if I have to do that". Yes, she implied that this shame I put on her amounted to doing what I wanted was forced. It hurt really bad, I even remember the place and time. I walked her to the subway, sent her home, and broke it all at our next date.
I’m so glad you brought this topic up because I was just thinking about it. All my ex’s always had something they needed from me/complain about. There was never any time for my needs, or my needs were trivial compared to hers.
As a data point, my wife (15 yrs) does do things for me (frequently) that I ask (and sometimes don't ask).
However, I have been with women who act as you describe.
Great video (as always), and thank you for the insight!
Thank you.
I'm told I'm crazy for having these expectations. I'm sick of being a sacrifice. I have to take care of her and me? Its easyer to just take care of me. They see it as there is a guy who will do what they want just around the corner. So if you dont your out. Less men a swallowing the hook these days.
Great advice and reminders, thank you
I know exactly what you’re talking about. I asked someone to fix me a scrambled egg sandwich and the look I got was as if I had spat on them. You’re supposed to do for one another out of love not because you’re looking for something out of it but because you enjoy doing for someone else to take care of to bond with etc.
Wise words human you’re spot on.
Spot on! I only realised this 15 years into my marriage.
Love your work huMAN. Please keep it up.
My wife does things often for me without asking and sometimes even she does things for me I wished she wouldn't have done it so I don't have to feel bad about it haha. However her list of requests/issues is high, so it's kinda a two way street. But she is kind and a good person.
However in general many (own experience like 90%) women seem to be exactly as you describe, very good dating advice. I'm 38 and my wife was only the 2nd real relationship I had with a woman. There were plenty in my life, all over the world literally but after I learned my lesson with the entitled, manipulative, narcissistic first Girlfriend, I knew what to look out for. After that abusive relationship, only 2 women within an almost 10 year time period were actually caring about my needs, being supportive and kind. One didn't work out due to long distance and my own projects (it was clear early on... one of these "in another lifetime maybe" kind of things), the other one is my wife I'm married to for 4 years now.
It's OK to say no to her. Practice it, it will be good for her
Who's the better looking one in the relationship?
Perfect. That is precisely what I have observed for years but failed to articulate very well. I find that in addition to that is the resentment that builds over time when "pumpkin" does what you ask when she didn't want to. It's almost like reality tells them they aren't equal to me everyday and although they have their own special traits that are solely their own, the teachings they got from early childhood convinced them they were indeed equal, and that is a cause for never-ending irritation in them. I dont think we as men understand this because we don't envy women their special status, but they sure do envy men for ours.
This reminds me of a girlfriend I had, as I was recovering from an ailment I asked that I needed to be alone for a few days without contact, because it helps me recalibrate my head from time to time, so she flips out, gets mad, and says she don't want to talk to me at all. All of that happened though I have informed her before that I need these timed-seclusions to recharge and she said that she understood.
It really shows how solipsistic a w0man can be even when they try to mask it.
They honestly don't give a fuk about our needs.
You are spot-on in this one HuMan.
This is the biggest challenge in my life. My conditioning was strong and I fall into this naturally. It’s only when I stop and think do I realize I’ve become a slave under that conditioning.
Very sound advice. It made me look back and I tried to remember if I ever asked anything for myself of the women in my life. I couldn't remember. I'm self-sufficient to the degree that I don't need anything from them neither expect them to do anything beyond regular things like minimal cleaning and house chores.
That really means they have little value other than for sex... That's really depressing.
It all comes down to asserting dominance. Women don't listen to requests, when asked nicely. You have to put it on them. It all comes down to respect.
Honestly if men just step out of the illusion for a brief moment and actually test their female partners to see if they truly care or love em they would be shocked at the results and alot of breakups .
Like yourself, it took me years to see this.
I knew.. or thought my wife to be an honest, upright, compassionate person, who literally worked for the welfare of orphans and homeless children.
But if I ever asked for her to, for example, pick something up at a store she was near, and save me an 80 mile trip.., it was as if I was asking her to take a bullet.
In a very real sense.. I was almost her slave..; but looking back, I realized she never once offered me a glass of water or brought me (the brass ring) a cold beer.., and I would never dream of asking.
And, come to think of it.., I heard the "that's-just-not-me" excuse more than a few times.
Very true, every word in this video has been validated from my experience.
huMAN. watching it second time after a year and enjoying the suffering (!) again. Lately it seems that life decided to teach me a thorough lesson in ungratefulness, and it did so mainly trough the women in my life. I did so much for them every time they needed my. they knew they can rely and count on my, that I won't disappoint them, but when it finally came to point when I asked something from then, however minor, they revealed their narrow short sited egoistic nature. Not only they didn't help me but even attacked and criticized me. You nailed it: "most men believe their women loves them. put it to he test. you might be surprised." Well, I did tested it and ... SURPRISE!!
I wish I could have this conversation with my younger self, but since that is obviously not possible, I'm having it with my future self, and I think I'll be a lot better off for it.
A little trick women do that i discovered recently is this , I got tired of doing all the yard work by myself so i ask my partner to do the wiper sniper while i mowed , she protested but knew i wasn't going to take '' No '' for a answer . She played dumb on how to start it after explaing 3 times then complained she couldnt hold it up then deliberly missed half the edging needed to be cut , In pure frustration i said leave it i'll do it my-self which of course was her plan all a long . They are quite capable of doing simple jobs but use these tactics to get out of jobs or frustrate us so we dont ask them in the future for help again .
This is exactly why I don't really miss her, .. she was all illusion.
If you have any sense, ask her to leave.
No woman no cry.
Oh boy, I've been down that road all too often and most of the time I would listen to, "I'm my own person" or "I'll do what I want" because I have certain expectations in relationships. Of course, when I hear those words, my reply would always be: "Great, if you want to [FILL IN BLANK] then there's the door, so go be/do whatever you want somewhere else". Let me just say I wish more men took this approach because it's how, as a man, you're not treated like a doormat in a relationship and how you can weed out a partner.
I remember a time when a girlfriend once ironed my shirt. I almost fainted from shock. I never asked for it. There did not appear to be an agenda. She just did it. It touched me to the core.
I had a similar experience. I had a platonic sleepover with a female friend. As I was getting dressed the next morning to head straight to work, she looked at me in her nightgown and said, “take off your pants.” A little confused, I said “I don’t have time now.” She said it’s not going to take me long to iron those pants. I can’t let you leave my house wearing wrinkled pants.” I sat dumbfounded in my boxers watching her as she steam pressed my trousers to nearly dry clean crispness. To this day it remains one of the most intimate caring encounters I have had with a female. As Joker would say... Shhhhhhoking!
Dont mention feckin ironing my ex would spend half of Sundays ironing her work clothes and the childrens. I had to be eternally grateful if she ironed one shirt.I now realise she was doing this to avoid any hard work LOL
sometimes mistakes need to be made to learn the lesson.. sometimes not
Omg, have you been with the same women, i've been with? I've just started watching your video's, and everything your saying is spot on. Your continually talking about my ex.
Thanks for this video going through a divorce at the moment this sums up my marriage. Never ask for anything, But bought flowers every other month, Made her Breakfast in bed, Watched all the shitty romantic movies. Spend money we did not have on shit we did not need. COULD NOT MAKE HER HAPPY. Being living on my own for 4 years now it has taken me a long time to realise I am the prize, Have views worth hearing and don't need approval for them.
Also impossible to have a decent conversation on current affairs or anything that does not affect her.
THANKS AGAIN.
I used to tell my now ex- “you’re not happy unless you’re unhappy”. She’d spend hours on craft projects she’d give away, but I’d ask her to do something for me while she was out that was literally right on her way, and I’d get the “why can’t you do it?” in response. I’d point out that she’d never want to help me, but always wanted me to do things for her. I’d get sick, and she’d literally get mad at me for being sick. I had joint replacement surgeries and between three of them (one re-do), I literally had her help me maybe a total of three minutes. I knew I couldn’t depend on her.