Mehran, it was such a pleasure speaking to you today. Thank you SO MUCH for you common sense yet no nonsense approch to counseling. I am so glad I reached out to speak with you. I wish i had of skyped with you sooner... It was just like your videos but interactive and personalized to my breakup situation! 🙌🏾🙏🏽
Thank you for the kind words. I am glad you find them helpful. Please feel free to visit and like my FB page : facebook.com/mindthatseekstruth/ where I have my announcements for Live Q & A Talks, and place supportive posts and videos. Please let me know from which country you are watching the videos and to which age category you belong to. It would be wonderful if you would share the videos you like on your social media to help others know that there is support after break-Ups and bring more exposure to what I do. Be good to yourself always. With Thanks, Mehran
Mehran Dadbeh Thank you for the reply. I live in the United states and I'm 19 years old! Recently my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me and I've felt like I lost the best girl I'll ever know, and I fear I'll never meet someone as attractive and good for me again, watching your videos has helped me put things in a different perspective though
hello! thank you for this great video! my fear, and what drives me crazy and devastates me during a breakup, is that he could be happier without me, and that he wont miss me and knowing that the ways he won me, with flowers, sweet words, etc., that he'll do that for someone else. This is what upsets me and drives me crazy!!
Paloma dear listen carefully, In this short paragraph you have sent me if you read it carefully you will see that the most important thing here (that you think it is the guy who left you) in fact is you! You have used the word "Me" In every sentence that you have used to try to show what you are concerned about. 1- he could be happier without me, 2- that he wont miss me, 3- knowing that the ways he won me, 4- with flowers, sweet words ( implying how you ( the Me ) would feel by these things, 5- that he'll do that for someone else ( meaning not "Me" ), 6- This is what upsets me, 7- and drives me crazy. So all this means is that you ant all these things for "The Me " ( for you). This all means that the " Me " is the most important thing and the" Me " is you of course which means he is not "The Everything " and you ( The Me ) is. So the " Me " which is you is still in-tacked and is perfectly capable to feel the same things , the same way and good again, and can find some one else who will make her feel good, with words and chocolates, and you can have some one else do things that you like in life with you and doing these things that you like are not exclusive to this past guy with whom you were in a relationship. What you think you are missing is the image you had created for yourself about yourself in your own mind and you liked that image of you and you are interested in having that same image while that was just an idea of you about you in your mind and nothing about it is exclusive to this guy or any one else as these images that we each have about ourselves can always be re-made or made , created even better, altered according to our needs at any time without any big efforts or costs. So you can let this image go and don't think it is a once in a life time image and go on and find another person whom you would like spending time with and create same image if you want with him. But most important is to realize that these are just images and if you do not create these images of yourself about yourself in your own mind then you will not give such huge values to the person you are having a relationship with as these are your own thoughts about you and has nothing to do with the guy, the partner. You have been making you feel the satisfaction with the image you had created in your mind about you. You and the created images of you by you in your own mind is responsible for you feeling good or bad not the words that were uttered by the partner exclusively as those words are available for any one to use and I am sure others are perfectly capable to say them to you and make you hear them and you will feel good and enjoy the image that you will create for yourself by the feeling that you get from it. You are the image maker and nothing is lost and you can make these images , feelings again and again as soon as you realize that you are the master of your images, feelings and what ideas you favour and shape in your mind and not to do exclusively with others. You are the artist and the creator of your values, worth, mood, and hopes. Yes it will take a bit of time because you have conditioned yourself to think as if you are not the master of this equasion but it does not have to and you must be happy to be on your way to experience the new and that whomever is no longer loyal to you and is not with you and has left you does not deserve your focus and attention. You are free to give this opportunity of knowing you to others of your choice. Be good to yourself always, Mehran :)
+Mehran Dadbeh thank you so so much. i truly appreciate your advice and i will certainly do my best to remember your wise words when i start to become overwhelmed with these feelings and emotions! i have subscribed, as i feel i will need your advice again! thank you so much. God bless you.
I am glad to hear your wise words again. I have overcome my break up, i found out my relationship with my ex is a Narcissist relationship so i got a less of life . Now i dont want unhealthy people around me, i learn how to set healthy boundaries. During my pain caused by Narc Ex your video comforted me alot.
Pablo Mazza Thank you dear Pablo, I have been busy with life , work and the books. Soon in a few short months we will have them ready for market. The mind That SeeksTruth site will be up and running and a forum is being built as well which should be ready one after the other. Hope you and every one else are doing good as well dear. :)
A lot of truths about fear in this video. I feel those things every day. Fear that I won't get what I want. Fear that I won't live up to expectations. Fear I won't find someone else.
Thank you so much for doing this and helping people like me about relationships, on how to feel better, to have strength, to motivate ourselves, and focus to yourself..This is my question pls!I'm 34, How can you go on n keep moving forward when a relationship split up already ( we've been living together for 4 n half yrs. but now it's almost been a month we don't live together anymore) but the problem is more in financial, when this man owe u money (loan) n the bank taking it out fr my acct automatically every month. He said don't worry I'm gonna continue to pay for it..So it's just worries me if he stop paying it n that I need help what to do besides praying, the don't worry part I heard that many times even told me "ur safe with me, I'll take care of you, etc. I trusted him so much for yrs.. And he knows that.. I never make his life difficult, I've been so understanding, cooperate, problem solver, communicate, passionate, and ver very patient with him for years.. He got what u wanted n yes I listened to him but he doesn't really listened to me, his pride n ego, n mind problem is the problem it is hard to deal with him when u say something negative that happened n it happened again but he says his trying his best to change n not to hurt me again. I heard this before...How can I make sure he pay the monthly that need to be pay, if he stop n can't contact him if this gonna happen but hope not, what can I do? This is a fear n about trust.
Of course this is a legal matter and perhaps you would have a chat with a legal expert of where you reside. Having said that next time all finical arrangements ( for commitment to share payment for something or help with expenses of something or any arrangement for any purchase of anything needs to be in writing and legally registered. Now having said all that you are now worried about something that has not yet proven to be as what you fear it might be which means you are creating something that has not happened yet and yet are reacting to it in the present! :) So watch my video on fear ( I think it is part of the playlist "The Psyche " ) and see if that alleviates some of your concerns.
Glad that the videos are helpful to you Brenda. Be good to yourself always dear. Please let me know from which country you are watching the videos and which age category you are in. Mehran
Hello Sir, Im from Brazil and I`ve been watching your videos latelly. It has helped a lot. I have been trough a break up one year ago, and aldo I am much better now, I still find myself insuficient for an relationships sometimes. Im not even struggling because of that girl in particular, but the fact that I am still alone after a year (and she is not) and I dont want to be. My Bigest doubt, that bodders me every day is: I am focusing on my job, and my personal stuff now, but is this a good thing? Am I a good personal independent of what other people think of me or is just too conviniet to think that way. Becausae sometimes it looks very easy to think that we all have value despite of anyone else. Hope you can cast a light on this though. Keep the Excellent work and sorry any english mistakes. Seu amigo Brasileiro, FP
Please help me! Just found out my ex was talking to a girl and was seeing her while we were still together and met up with her and denied it. He never let me see his phone or anything and I saw a message from her on his phone. Its been 2 mths since we broke up! Ive already told you about my breakup story previously sir. But he started going out with her straight away and I just found out today cos she confirmed with her friend they are dating. God i feel like my hearts being ripped out. After everything he put me through and even meeting my parents. God what the hell is wrong with him! And she is fairer and smarter and popular than me! Im so fucking pissed and angry I dont understand whats happening. Why is this happening. WTF was he thinking. God why do i have to go through this. Is this my Karma??? Why do i have to see them at uni together. Im so hurt! Please I beg u help me!!!!
+Bob - anathan First it just doesnt matter if she is more something...She is not! She is not you. You are special. Believe you. He is just not the right person for you. He has never been...Also he IS UNFAITHFUL ! And you do not want a man like this. Let him go and mix his energy with other people. There is someone much better for you. Watch other Mehran videos. They will do you great!
Thank you...I just found out that he had sex with his ex gf while he was with me and he met my parents as well. After which he cheated on me again with his new gf... Everything you are saying is right, I just feel violated and disgusted because of the amount of times he forced me to have sex with him and called me a "whore" and "slut" because I had previous relationships before him. He broke up with me making me feel as if it was all my fault and accused me of cheating on him numerous times just for talking to other guys....yet he goes and physically cheats on me twice and doesnt even own up to it.
Paloma Linda Hello! Not good :( Well After we broke up we had no contact at all, and when I found out he cheated, me and his ex gf became friends. Even though he cheated on me with her and other girls. I believed her and was good to her. During me and her 2mth friendship there was a lot of issues. She wanted to get revenege on him and tell his friends what he did and ruin his reputation. She did that and he lost a lot of friendss...from what I know. Some of his friends are still with him. My friendship with her broke after a boy she liked liked me and it is my fault too but I guess I didnt really care about her because to me she was the girl who slept with my bf so I went out with that boy she liked. She always fought with me over petty things and put me down. So i ended the friendship. She wrote me a letter saying how hurt she was and wanted my friendship. I gave her a chance, but it didnt work out. I dated the guy for 2mths and it didnt end well and he was an asshole. After that a few months later I dated another guy whom she used to like. I know, I am attracting this drama. But that didnt work out too and was only for 1mth. Now after 8mths of no contact with the ex gf, someone throws 24eggs at my house one late night. Upon looking at video footage it was 6 boys in hoods. The car looked like my ex. When my mother asked the ex gf if it happened to her too she said no. Thats when I realised it was probably Him and she was in on it too! She and him are probably back together abd to get revenge on me she told him things about me to get him angry to come Egg my house! My poor dad with back pain came from work to clean it all up and my poor mum has been shaken up! My mum was home alone when it happened. I was so angry when i found out. But my parents keep blaming me because I was friends with her this all happened. Can you please give me advice? I am not 100% it was Him and she was involved. but it wasnt a random attack because they were in my street for 15mins before they attacked only my house. and it was the same car as my ex. I hate that bitch (ex gf) that did this too. I am full of anger and my family was happy before this. After the break up it was only my familu that suffered. Not him or his. He is happy and doing well in studies but I am not doing well in studies or life and my family has suffered,. Btw, he is 22 and i am 21. We were together for 2yrs.
+Bob - anathan just stop asociating with the guy, his friends or his group of friends....pay attention to building your life, attend to your studies as when the opportunity of doing good in your classes are gone you can not bring it back or have a second chance so do not allow that silly relationship or a personal temporary story ruin your goals and accomplishments as they are inportant but all these feelings will all disapear in time but affects of not having taken advantage of study time will not easily be replaced. Take care of the important stuff and all these things that you think are important are not and are only about your ego, image and bad behaviour of some individuals and will never be able to harm you in reality or your future they are all illusions of being important but in actuality they are all irelevant and of no importance eventhough they may seem as if they are at this age. just focus on building new friends and focus on your studies and accomish your goals and that is what will make you feel good as thier behaviour could not de-rail you from achieving you goals and that is the strongest reaction to such people or events. Build your life and ignore the bull shit. ! :)
Thank you! Another great video. All the content in your channel is so helpful. But I will follow now your advise: I will go back to my studies and be again the amazing student I was before and I haven't been lately. The idea of being on top of my clases again, makes me smile. I feel that I have been missing me. No anymore. Wish me luck! Thank you again.
I certainly do wish you luck Maye, but you need no luck, just do it, for you can! and share the videos you like on your social media or refer and talk about this channel so we can get exposure as we are hardly noticed on TH-cam! :)
Is it bound to happen (me meeting another girl) even if I only had my first girlfriend when I was 23? And it wasn't by accident, we found each other on the internet. Don't get me wrong, I approach girls in real life too, but they hardly ever feel like giving their phone number to me, so sometimes I go online.
Alex Shin Yes it will happen. By the way I hope you do not ask her number right when you meet her for the first time for a few minutes ! :) if you do this, then from now on don't ask their phone number just when you meet them. Maybe after a few times you guys had a short chat, small talk and seem to be friendly with each other. That might work better. :)
Mehran Dadbeh Thank you for your answer! Coincidentally, yesterday on my way home in metro a young lady spilt coffee on herself and I helped her by sharing my paper tissues and that's how we got to know each other! However, I am not really attracted to her and I don't really think we have anything in common, so I am not going to pursue it any further. More importantly, my previous girlfriend left me just a month ago, so I am still healing and trying to find myself and any girl at this point will do me no good. It is kind of a revelation for me, because before I had my first relationship I would settle for anything just to be with a girl, but now I think about myself and about what I want more, than about having a relationship with someone.
helloi previously told you my story ( i know you dont remember of course) but at that time i did bad things post breakup when she wanted to get back to me for 5 months daily talking to me but i told her to stop talking and get away as a revenge of her breaking up with me. i disrespected her i many ways for a long long time. finally when shs stopped talking to me and gave up on me i realized all the bad things i did but now after a year shes the one ignoring me. you told me to tell her how i feel about the things i did. but she doesnt want to see me. she told me she doesnt want anything from me more than friends and always gives excuses to not seeing me. can you please make a video about stop feeling guilty or sometjing like that? because whats hurting the most is that i caused this awesome relationship of 2 years to fail. even after she tried fixing it i threw it away and i cant stop feeling guilty. she texted me last week wishing me a happy easter. but still i feel guiltythank you
Mehran Dadbeh i'm a big fan of yours , 2015 your videos helped me Out ! And it s the same since a few days , love your videos , because they are logicale , and quiet smooth ? Thank you sooooo much
@Mehran Dadbeh It feels like my life is over,my ex girlfriend recently left me after a 2 years and 6 month living together !It was because of my jealousy ,she left me so sudden and told me she has been feeling unhappy for a while .She is moving out and i am devastated.I dont know what to do
Kruger Claassen why would you want to live with someone who does not appreciate you? Go on enjoy your life and build a happy life by experiencing positive activities and eventualy find someone who is more suitable and is commited to a mutualy respectful relationship. You can be happy far more than now when you appreciate life for life and not just for a relationship or one girl! :) you will be perfectly fine.
Nai-lah Krista Simone I don't know Nai-lah, but childhood in normal cases is a secure time, place where sometimes we go and spend time in our memory of the events in that point in time. Maybe you just go there because it is happy and safe and you do not feel happy or safe ( psychologically secure ) now . We usually cuddle in a safe, comfi couch or bed or part of the home where we feel protected and good, perhaps your child hood memories are now where you have chosen to recuperate and feel happy and get energized for a while.
Thanks for your vids and response. What if we are reminded of her everywhere? AND I was the one who dumped her. There is no future yet it's so hard that I want to think we can 'stay friends' or those kind of things though my logic side knows she has to go, my emotion side doesnt want to let her leave or wants compromise.
dragon0085 Watch this video and find the ones like it or different but on the topic that you are referring to and I believe you will enjoy them.:) th-cam.com/video/M56EtJkOrcI/w-d-xo.html
Hello sir, and thank you for your gift of logical advice to help people understand their situation better. I have watched a few of your video posts and they are awesome. My name is Shawn and I am 40 Yrs old. My girlfriend of 3 years told me she no longer wanted me in her life a few days ago, this devastated me, to the point that I couldn't sleep the first night after getting the news. Hearing your logical advice on how to look at the situation has helped me gain some of my emotional strength back and giving me a new way to look at the situation. I do have a question for you, and I look forward to your answer. I did not allow myself to open up while in a relationship with her, I kept myself from being close with her daughter as well, in fact I feel like I acted selfishly from the beginning of meeting my ex. She was very caring, loving, and excepting of me and my son from the start. Over the three years of being together we had some wonderful times and fell in love with her, but kept up my selfishness to the point that we are at now. I look back and see the issues I caused in the relationship, I feel badly that I acted that way and know I will not ever be like that again in my future relationships. My question is this......I still love her and really want her to be the one who I fully open myself up to and treat right, but she has told me she doesn't want to get back together. I know I need to move on with my life, but if she would ever contact me in the future.....is it advisable to pursue her ( if that would be her intention), knowing that I recognize my faults and know I will not ever repeat them again? Or should I close that door for good and just look for someone else? I feel love for her and feel that we could be a great couple with a good future, but do you recommend getting back with an ex? Thank you for your help in this matter, it is much appreciated. Shawn
Shawn christopher If you can clearly see that the problem has all along been your behaviour, and you know that you will not allow such selfish ways to interfere with your happiness, then why not? we all must encourage ourselves to become more refined and a better person all through out our lives . :)
Hi Mr. Dadbeh and thank you for replying, very nice of you, as I know your time is valuable. She is cold towards me and has stated she is never going back to a relationship with me, so can you give me any advice on getting her to open up to me one day in the future? I love this woman greatly, and would give her the love she deserved if she would ever allow it. Should I just leave her alone for now and not contact her at all, as she is certainly not interested in me at this moment in time?
Give her the space she needs and then write her a nice and truthful letter with all what you want to say in it to her. Then if she did not change her mind even after a while after reading your letter, then go on with your life and find another with the new you ! :) Do your best foot forward when you write the letter, but don't think that the world is now over if she did not want to come back. :)
Hello +Shawn christopher, It's been a year on your comment, I wonder what happend in your story.. did you send her the letter? how did she respond to it?
my bf left me ,he said he wanted to get away from me, so he left with another girl , had sex with her. but he was constantly missing me and accepted the fact that he cant live without me. so he came back to me. i was heart broken due to the physical thing happening between them. but i forgave him. but problems again began. now when we fight over small issues, he always hurts me saying that that girl was better than me and he made a mistake coming back to me. i am into depression now. i wanted to heal but he is not letting me. he is constantly bringing the past, which i told him not to bring it up. i am going through extreme insecurity.pain. cant sleep for so many months. he again broke up. at this point of time i have no self confidence left in me. i dont know if i can trust him or anybody else. i dont know whether this relationship will ever solve. :(
No. He is doing the same thing again and again. And I am in pain that he left me. I wish I could just move on but I can't because every time I try to move on life brings him back to me. And I love him so much that I forgive him and just hearing his voice makes me feel happy. I don't know what will happen to me. Whether I will ever be happy with him or without him. But I am in severe depression right now. I am fighting for it to go away. But everything is screwed up right now.
Sorry Preona, I must had missed your message as I just saw it and don't see having made any comment on it dear . I read your comment now and will write w few line for you here : Life does not keep bring him back, you do. He has no power over you , you allow him because you have given priority to your desire and abandoned your psychological security to him convinced yourself that he represents your psychological security. Simply understand that you are focused on this and in fact as long as you think he is your psychological security you will be abused by his lack of contentment and will never get close to any meaningful and stable situation within you and create some psychological security in day today life. He seems to be using you for his pleasure of feeling mighty as you seem to be complying to his wishes and he sees no reason to be caring , loyal and honest with you. Simply understand that life is far bigger than him and he does not represent life and only represents his own need to feel important by your weakness. Build something out of yourself and create your own psychological security on your own and with your day to day life and simply respect yourself and focus on you as it is you who is neglecting you, others ( in your case ) are only focused on themselves and not you, they will not respect you if you don't respect yourself first. He is there in this relationship for what he can get away with and not to build anything and that is why he keeps comparing you as he knows that is how he can make you feel as if you have to prove to him that you are better than the other girls by doing what he wants and so you are being used with your own hands allowing him to treat you the way you are being interacted with. Just move on no one is a god, you have made this decision to consider him all that while you can clearly see that he is not but you have made him to be in your mind and he is seeing it and using it.What good you see in him is what you have made him up to be in your mind but he is not what you have built him up to be in your thoughts. Judge him according to his behaviour and interaction with you and not juts focus on defending what you have built of him in your mind and now not able to accept that what you have built is not good. You are loving your idea of him but he is not your idea, he is who he is so see him as he is not as you perception of him so you can feel you have made a good choice and are having a good partner. Stop looking at him with the same eyes you once did at the beginning as he has proven to you that he is not what you used to see in him yet you are still meeting him, seeing him with the past and not in his actuality. Empower yourself and make something out of yourself to rely on yourself and bring your happiness from within you and not expect to buy it by doing so much for the partner hoping then you will be paid some attention to by him which may bring happiness to you. Bring your own happiness by yourself and the others will see you for what you are and treat you as you expect and not as if your happiness is in their hands and feel that they can get away with anything and still have you! Respect yourself and then the others will too.
Thank you for replying. I will do as you have said. I will take care of myself. Bring myself happiness. But it will take time to erase or set aside his memories. He meant everything to me. I am afraid whether I can forget him or not. I will not be able to love anyone like that anymore. 😢😢😢😢
At some point it is true though bcuz some people looking for more better or attracted to someone else they see or met then they broke up or leave their spouse. That is painful just bcuz she looks better than you? Or your attitude that's why she or he left you n be with that someone else.
+CupNoodleKitty 30 year old woman is just entering the best and most qualified time of her life. 30 year old woman is the catch of the day ! :) of course dear it is just the beginning of your life and romantic experiences as it is just now that you are approaching perfection of you and wisdom that would help you to choose better and be most attractive because of your development and wisdom and knowledge you have accumulated through out your life to present. :)
Mehran Dadbeh Thank you so so much for your kind reply, I appreciate it and you put a huge smile on my face :) So even though my boyfriend broke up with me, I don't need to lose hope that I'll find true love?! :)
+CupNoodleKitty No you should not lose hope dear. :) most loves are true at the beginning of all anyways but how long that remains true is the question ! :) At any day, any age, any time one may find true love dear, love has no time limit or age limit. :)
Mehran Dadbeh You're such a nice person, thank you so much. Guess what? My ex boyfriend contacted me, he said he regrets the breakup and sees now that he has to change certain things. He hopes we'll get back together and talk in person soon. I have no idea how to react. Any advice?
+CupNoodleKitty Just see what he says, see what is reasonable and acceptable and if you also feel the same way, then I guess you will make the right decision for you and not for him, for you. :) Let him do most of the talking and listen and then make your observation and suggestions and so on, but talk one at a time and not both at the same time, keep your voices , volume down and speak in a way to solve and resolve rather than placing blame on each other. It is a repair schedule not a judgment day ! :)
Hi Dear ( not sure your name ), Watch this video for now: th-cam.com/video/TygVTwXD3rU/w-d-xo.html and message me on Skype and perhaps we can chat about it if I am available at the same time you are. Voice chatt is easier for me as I happened to write often and it becomes rather tasking. There is no why abut this behaviour as this is the nature of some people who jump from one branch to another because they are not sure of themselves and their own characters and always doubt if they are good enough so they try different things all the time as they always need this affirmation from any one and anything they see so they can reassure themselves. It is best to find these things way before it gets too serious and or when already married . So it is your lucky day that you broke up with this guy and found this out now rather than later when already too involved and married. Just move on this guy is not life, it is a fragment of what has been available but not the best choice for you and certainly not a big part of life and definitely nothing worth being devastated by as how such person with such mentality and behaviour be worth it for you or any girl who knows about his mentality to stay in a relationship with. You may enjoy these as well : th-cam.com/video/M1r5OQBYxMw/w-d-xo.html th-cam.com/video/2uVG4JTYtjE/w-d-xo.html th-cam.com/video/wqr62xIFdq8/w-d-xo.html th-cam.com/video/RYEdB5jkRew/w-d-xo.html
Mehran, it was such a pleasure speaking to you today. Thank you SO MUCH for you common sense yet no nonsense approch to counseling. I am so glad I reached out to speak with you. I wish i had of skyped with you sooner... It was just like your videos but interactive and personalized to my breakup situation! 🙌🏾🙏🏽
Great! This feeling is very constant when we break up! So human...you bring comfort to my pain
the girl i was with broke up with me two months ago and youve been the person that had helped me out thanks sir ur really wise
You are indeed a very wise and insightful individual Mr Dadbeh! Once again you're bringing a calming influence to a stormy mind. Many thanks :D
Dan Lancaster Thank you Dan. Wishing you tranquility, health and happiness dear. :)
Your videos are very eye opening. The videos you make have helped me immensely in this difficult time! Thank you! Keep up the great work!
Thank you for the kind words. I am glad you find them helpful. Please feel free to visit and like my FB page : facebook.com/mindthatseekstruth/ where I have my announcements for Live Q & A Talks, and place supportive posts and videos. Please let me know from which country you are watching the videos and to which age category you belong to. It would be wonderful if you would share the videos you like on your social media to help others know that there is support after break-Ups and bring more exposure to what I do. Be good to yourself always. With Thanks, Mehran
Mehran Dadbeh Thank you for the reply. I live in the United states and I'm 19 years old! Recently my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me and I've felt like I lost the best girl I'll ever know, and I fear I'll never meet someone as attractive and good for me again, watching your videos has helped me put things in a different perspective though
hello! thank you for this great video! my fear, and what drives me crazy and devastates me during a breakup, is that he could be happier without me, and that he wont miss me and knowing that the ways he won me, with flowers, sweet words, etc., that he'll do that for someone else. This is what upsets me and drives me crazy!!
Paloma dear listen carefully, In this short paragraph you have sent me if you read it carefully you will see that the most important thing here (that you think it is the guy who left you) in fact is you! You have used the word "Me" In every sentence that you have used to try to show what you are concerned about. 1- he could be happier without me, 2- that he wont miss me, 3- knowing that the ways he won me, 4- with flowers, sweet words ( implying how you ( the Me ) would feel by these things, 5- that he'll do that for someone else ( meaning not "Me" ), 6- This is what upsets me, 7- and drives me crazy. So all this means is that you ant all these things for "The Me " ( for you). This all means that the " Me " is the most important thing and the" Me " is you of course which means he is not "The Everything " and you ( The Me ) is. So the " Me " which is you is still in-tacked and is perfectly capable to feel the same things , the same way and good again, and can find some one else who will make her feel good, with words and chocolates, and you can have some one else do things that you like in life with you and doing these things that you like are not exclusive to this past guy with whom you were in a relationship. What you think you are missing is the image you had created for yourself about yourself in your own mind and you liked that image of you and you are interested in having that same image while that was just an idea of you about you in your mind and nothing about it is exclusive to this guy or any one else as these images that we each have about ourselves can always be re-made or made , created even better, altered according to our needs at any time without any big efforts or costs. So you can let this image go and don't think it is a once in a life time image and go on and find another person whom you would like spending time with and create same image if you want with him. But most important is to realize that these are just images and if you do not create these images of yourself about yourself in your own mind then you will not give such huge values to the person you are having a relationship with as these are your own thoughts about you and has nothing to do with the guy, the partner. You have been making you feel the satisfaction with the image you had created in your mind about you. You and the created images of you by you in your own mind is responsible for you feeling good or bad not the words that were uttered by the partner exclusively as those words are available for any one to use and I am sure others are perfectly capable to say them to you and make you hear them and you will feel good and enjoy the image that you will create for yourself by the feeling that you get from it. You are the image maker and nothing is lost and you can make these images , feelings again and again as soon as you realize that you are the master of your images, feelings and what ideas you favour and shape in your mind and not to do exclusively with others. You are the artist and the creator of your values, worth, mood, and hopes. Yes it will take a bit of time because you have conditioned yourself to think as if you are not the master of this equasion but it does not have to and you must be happy to be on your way to experience the new and that whomever is no longer loyal to you and is not with you and has left you does not deserve your focus and attention. You are free to give this opportunity of knowing you to others of your choice. Be good to yourself always, Mehran :)
Please let me know from where you are watching the videos and which age group you are in. With thanks, Mehran
+Mehran Dadbeh thank you so so much. i truly appreciate your advice and i will certainly do my best to remember your wise words when i start to become overwhelmed with these feelings and emotions! i have subscribed, as i feel i will need your advice again! thank you so much. God bless you.
+Paloma Linda You are welcomed Linda. you forgot to tell me from which country you are watching the videos and the age group you are in ! :)
+Mehran Dadbeh oh! yes, im in California and ive started my 40's!
I am glad to hear your wise words again. I have overcome my break up, i found out my relationship with my ex is a Narcissist relationship so i got a less of life . Now i dont want unhealthy people around me, i learn how to set healthy boundaries. During my pain caused by Narc Ex your video comforted me alot.
Very glad to see another video sir! Cannot wait for the release of the book :)
Muamel Karbouli Thank you dear Muamel, hope all is good with you as well dear. :)
good to see you again sir!
i hope you are doing well!
Pablo Mazza Thank you dear Pablo, I have been busy with life , work and the books. Soon in a few short months we will have them ready for market. The mind That SeeksTruth site will be up and running and a forum is being built as well which should be ready one after the other. Hope you and every one else are doing good as well dear. :)
Mehran Dadbeh Thank you for everything, you are awesome! good luck with your projects!
A lot of truths about fear in this video. I feel those things every day. Fear that I won't get what I want. Fear that I won't live up to expectations. Fear I won't find someone else.
Clicked on this bc of the title...sending friend shoping... LoL when you finally got to that point...great analogy !!!
lol glad you enjoyed it, Aron.
thank you again and again and again
You are welcomed again and again dear :)
Thank you so much for doing this and helping people like me about relationships, on how to feel better, to have strength, to motivate ourselves, and focus to yourself..This is my question pls!I'm 34, How can you go on n keep moving forward when a relationship split up already ( we've been living together for 4 n half yrs. but now it's almost been a month we don't live together anymore) but the problem is more in financial, when this man owe u money (loan) n the bank taking it out fr my acct automatically every month. He said don't worry I'm gonna continue to pay for it..So it's just worries me if he stop paying it n that I need help what to do besides praying, the don't worry part I heard that many times even told me "ur safe with me, I'll take care of you, etc. I trusted him so much for yrs.. And he knows that.. I never make his life difficult, I've been so understanding, cooperate, problem solver, communicate, passionate, and ver very patient with him for years.. He got what u wanted n yes I listened to him but he doesn't really listened to me, his pride n ego, n mind problem is the problem it is hard to deal with him when u say something negative that happened n it happened again but he says his trying his best to change n not to hurt me again. I heard this before...How can I make sure he pay the monthly that need to be pay, if he stop n can't contact him if this gonna happen but hope not, what can I do? This is a fear n about trust.
Of course this is a legal matter and perhaps you would have a chat with a legal expert of where you reside. Having said that next time all finical arrangements ( for commitment to share payment for something or help with expenses of something or any arrangement for any purchase of anything needs to be in writing and legally registered. Now having said all that you are now worried about something that has not yet proven to be as what you fear it might be which means you are creating something that has not happened yet and yet are reacting to it in the present! :) So watch my video on fear ( I think it is part of the playlist "The Psyche " ) and see if that alleviates some of your concerns.
Awesome! Thank you!!
You are welcomed Johnny.
I really like all your videos. It helps a lot.
Glad that the videos are helpful to you Brenda. Be good to yourself always dear. Please let me know from which country you are watching the videos and which age category you are in. Mehran
this video was fantastic! thank you. have you considered discussing jealousy post breakup in a video?
Hello Sir, Im from Brazil and I`ve been watching your videos latelly. It has helped a lot.
I have been trough a break up one year ago, and aldo I am much better now, I still find myself insuficient for an relationships sometimes. Im not even struggling because of that girl in particular, but the fact that I am still alone after a year (and she is not) and I dont want to be.
My Bigest doubt, that bodders me every day is: I am focusing on my job, and my personal stuff now, but is this a good thing? Am I a good personal independent of what other people think of me or is just too conviniet to think that way. Becausae sometimes it looks very easy to think that we all have value despite of anyone else.
Hope you can cast a light on this though. Keep the Excellent work and sorry any english mistakes.
Seu amigo Brasileiro, FP
I miss u too. Have a great day
Please help me! Just found out my ex was talking to a girl and was seeing her while we were still together and met up with her and denied it. He never let me see his phone or anything and I saw a message from her on his phone. Its been 2 mths since we broke up! Ive already told you about my breakup story previously sir. But he started going out with her straight away and I just found out today cos she confirmed with her friend they are dating. God i feel like my hearts being ripped out. After everything he put me through and even meeting my parents. God what the hell is wrong with him! And she is fairer and smarter and popular than me! Im so fucking pissed and angry I dont understand whats happening. Why is this happening. WTF was he thinking. God why do i have to go through this. Is this my Karma??? Why do i have to see them at uni together. Im so hurt! Please I beg u help me!!!!
+Bob - anathan First it just doesnt matter if she is more something...She is not! She is not you. You are special. Believe you. He is just not the right person for you. He has never been...Also he IS UNFAITHFUL ! And you do not want a man like this. Let him go and mix his energy with other people. There is someone much better for you. Watch other Mehran videos. They will do you great!
Thank you...I just found out that he had sex with his ex gf while he was with me and he met my parents as well. After which he cheated on me again with his new gf...
Everything you are saying is right, I just feel violated and disgusted because of the amount of times he forced me to have sex with him and called me a "whore" and "slut" because I had previous relationships before him. He broke up with me making me feel as if it was all my fault and accused me of cheating on him numerous times just for talking to other guys....yet he goes and physically cheats on me twice and doesnt even own up to it.
how are you doing now?? its been almost a year...has time helped you?
Paloma Linda Hello! Not good :(
Well After we broke up we had no contact at all, and when I found out he cheated, me and his ex gf became friends. Even though he cheated on me with her and other girls. I believed her and was good to her. During me and her 2mth friendship there was a lot of issues. She wanted to get revenege on him and tell his friends what he did and ruin his reputation. She did that and he lost a lot of friendss...from what I know. Some of his friends are still with him. My friendship with her broke after a boy she liked liked me and it is my fault too but I guess I didnt really care about her because to me she was the girl who slept with my bf so I went out with that boy she liked. She always fought with me over petty things and put me down. So i ended the friendship. She wrote me a letter saying how hurt she was and wanted my friendship. I gave her a chance, but it didnt work out. I dated the guy for 2mths and it didnt end well and he was an asshole. After that a few months later I dated another guy whom she used to like. I know, I am attracting this drama. But that didnt work out too and was only for 1mth. Now after 8mths of no contact with the ex gf, someone throws 24eggs at my house one late night. Upon looking at video footage it was 6 boys in hoods. The car looked like my ex. When my mother asked the ex gf if it happened to her too she said no. Thats when I realised it was probably Him and she was in on it too! She and him are probably back together abd to get revenge on me she told him things about me to get him angry to come Egg my house! My poor dad with back pain came from work to clean it all up and my poor mum has been shaken up! My mum was home alone when it happened. I was so angry when i found out. But my parents keep blaming me because I was friends with her this all happened. Can you please give me advice? I am not 100% it was Him and she was involved. but it wasnt a random attack because they were in my street for 15mins before they attacked only my house. and it was the same car as my ex. I hate that bitch (ex gf) that did this too. I am full of anger and my family was happy before this. After the break up it was only my familu that suffered. Not him or his. He is happy and doing well in studies but I am not doing well in studies or life and my family has suffered,. Btw, he is 22 and i am 21. We were together for 2yrs.
+Bob - anathan just stop asociating with the guy, his friends or his group of friends....pay attention to building your life, attend to your studies as when the opportunity of doing good in your classes are gone you can not bring it back or have a second chance so do not allow that silly relationship or a personal temporary story ruin your goals and accomplishments as they are inportant but all these feelings will all disapear in time but affects of not having taken advantage of study time will not easily be replaced. Take care of the important stuff and all these things that you think are important are not and are only about your ego, image and bad behaviour of some individuals and will never be able to harm you in reality or your future they are all illusions of being important but in actuality they are all irelevant and of no importance eventhough they may seem as if they are at this age. just focus on building new friends and focus on your studies and accomish your goals and that is what will make you feel good as thier behaviour could not de-rail you from achieving you goals and that is the strongest reaction to such people or events. Build your life and ignore the bull shit. ! :)
Thank you! Another great video. All the content in your channel is so helpful. But I will follow now your advise: I will go back to my studies and be again the amazing student I was before and I haven't been lately. The idea of being on top of my clases again, makes me smile. I feel that I have been missing me. No anymore. Wish me luck! Thank you again.
I certainly do wish you luck Maye, but you need no luck, just do it, for you can! and share the videos you like on your social media or refer and talk about this channel so we can get exposure as we are hardly noticed on TH-cam! :)
Is it bound to happen (me meeting another girl) even if I only had my first girlfriend when I was 23? And it wasn't by accident, we found each other on the internet. Don't get me wrong, I approach girls in real life too, but they hardly ever feel like giving their phone number to me, so sometimes I go online.
Alex Shin Yes it will happen. By the way I hope you do not ask her number right when you meet her for the first time for a few minutes ! :) if you do this, then from now on don't ask their phone number just when you meet them. Maybe after a few times you guys had a short chat, small talk and seem to be friendly with each other. That might work better. :)
Mehran Dadbeh Thank you for your answer! Coincidentally, yesterday on my way home in metro a young lady spilt coffee on herself and I helped her by sharing my paper tissues and that's how we got to know each other! However, I am not really attracted to her and I don't really think we have anything in common, so I am not going to pursue it any further. More importantly, my previous girlfriend left me just a month ago, so I am still healing and trying to find myself and any girl at this point will do me no good. It is kind of a revelation for me, because before I had my first relationship I would settle for anything just to be with a girl, but now I think about myself and about what I want more, than about having a relationship with someone.
helloi previously told you my story ( i know you dont remember of course) but at that time i did bad things post breakup when she wanted to get back to me for 5 months daily talking to me but i told her to stop talking and get away as a revenge of her breaking up with me. i disrespected her i many ways for a long long time. finally when shs stopped talking to me and gave up on me i realized all the bad things i did but now after a year shes the one ignoring me. you told me to tell her how i feel about the things i did. but she doesnt want to see me. she told me she doesnt want anything from me more than friends and always gives excuses to not seeing me. can you please make a video about stop feeling guilty or sometjing like that? because whats hurting the most is that i caused this awesome relationship of 2 years to fail. even after she tried fixing it i threw it away and i cant stop feeling guilty. she texted me last week wishing me a happy easter. but still i feel guiltythank you
Thank you
Libi You are welcomed dear.
Mehran Dadbeh i'm a big fan of yours , 2015 your videos helped me
Out ! And it s the same since a few days , love your videos , because they are logicale , and quiet smooth ? Thank you sooooo much
And your answer male me sooooo happy
Libi With pleasure dear. I am glad you are stronger in your abilities to deal and negotiate with flow of life. Thank you for the kind words Libi. :)
Mehran Dadbeh salutation from ALGERIA
as u hope im doing well only because of you sir
@Mehran Dadbeh
It feels like my life is over,my ex girlfriend recently left me after a 2 years and 6 month living together !It was because of my jealousy ,she left me so sudden and told me she has been feeling unhappy for a while .She is moving out and i am devastated.I dont know what to do
Kruger Claassen why would you want to live with someone who does not appreciate you? Go on enjoy your life and build a happy life by experiencing positive activities and eventualy find someone who is more suitable and is commited to a mutualy respectful relationship. You can be happy far more than now when you appreciate life for life and not just for a relationship or one girl! :) you will be perfectly fine.
Mehran Dadbeh thanks so much for your advice and Videos i just regret if i was difirant we woukd of been fine
Thanks for all your vids
mehran is it possible I might be traumatized by past situations and not know it? I find myself trying to cling to happy memories of my childhood
Nai-lah Krista Simone I don't know Nai-lah, but childhood in normal cases is a secure time, place where sometimes we go and spend time in our memory of the events in that point in time. Maybe you just go there because it is happy and safe and you do not feel happy or safe ( psychologically secure ) now . We usually cuddle in a safe, comfi couch or bed or part of the home where we feel protected and good, perhaps your child hood memories are now where you have chosen to recuperate and feel happy and get energized for a while.
The only time you had no tea ☕️ 😂
Thanks for your vids and response. What if we are reminded of her everywhere? AND I was the one who dumped her. There is no future yet it's so hard that I want to think we can 'stay friends' or those kind of things though my logic side knows she has to go, my emotion side doesnt want to let her leave or wants compromise.
dragon0085 Watch this video and find the ones like it or different but on the topic that you are referring to and I believe you will enjoy them.:)
th-cam.com/video/M56EtJkOrcI/w-d-xo.html
Hello sir, and thank you for your gift of logical advice to help people understand their situation better. I have watched a few of your video posts and they are awesome. My name is Shawn and I am 40 Yrs old. My girlfriend of 3 years told me she no longer wanted me in her life a few days ago, this devastated me, to the point that I couldn't sleep the first night after getting the news. Hearing your logical advice on how to look at the situation has helped me gain some of my emotional strength back and giving me a new way to look at the situation. I do have a question for you, and I look forward to your answer.
I did not allow myself to open up while in a relationship with her, I kept myself from being close with her daughter as well, in fact I feel like I acted selfishly from the beginning of meeting my ex. She was very caring, loving, and excepting of me and my son from the start. Over the three years of being together we had some wonderful times and fell in love with her, but kept up my selfishness to the point that we are at now. I look back and see the issues I caused in the relationship, I feel badly that I acted that way and know I will not ever be like that again in my future relationships. My question is this......I still love her and really want her to be the one who I fully open myself up to and treat right, but she has told me she doesn't want to get back together. I know I need to move on with my life, but if she would ever contact me in the future.....is it advisable to pursue her ( if that would be her intention), knowing that I recognize my faults and know I will not ever repeat them again? Or should I close that door for good and just look for someone else? I feel love for her and feel that we could be a great couple with a good future, but do you recommend getting back with an ex? Thank you for your help in this matter, it is much appreciated.
Shawn
Shawn christopher If you can clearly see that the problem has all along been your behaviour, and you know that you will not allow such selfish ways to interfere with your happiness, then why not? we all must encourage ourselves to become more refined and a better person all through out our lives . :)
Hi Mr. Dadbeh and thank you for replying, very nice of you, as I know your time is valuable. She is cold towards me and has stated she is never going back to a relationship with me, so can you give me any advice on getting her to open up to me one day in the future? I love this woman greatly, and would give her the love she deserved if she would ever allow it. Should I just leave her alone for now and not contact her at all, as she is certainly not interested in me at this moment in time?
Give her the space she needs and then write her a nice and truthful letter with all what you want to say in it to her. Then if she did not change her mind even after a while after reading your letter, then go on with your life and find another with the new you ! :) Do your best foot forward when you write the letter, but don't think that the world is now over if she did not want to come back. :)
Thank you, I will try this. Your response is greatly appreciated, thank you again.
Hello +Shawn christopher, It's been a year on your comment, I wonder what happend in your story.. did you send her the letter? how did she respond to it?
my bf left me ,he said he wanted to get away from me, so he left with another girl , had sex with her. but he was constantly missing me and accepted the fact that he cant live without me. so he came back to me. i was heart broken due to the physical thing happening between them. but i forgave him. but problems again began. now when we fight over small issues, he always hurts me saying that that girl was better than me and he made a mistake coming back to me. i am into depression now. i wanted to heal but he is not letting me. he is constantly bringing the past, which i told him not to bring it up. i am going through extreme insecurity.pain. cant sleep for so many months. he again broke up. at this point of time i have no self confidence left in me. i dont know if i can trust him or anybody else. i dont know whether this relationship will ever solve. :(
did you ever recover?
No. He is doing the same thing again and again. And I am in pain that he left me. I wish I could just move on but I can't because every time I try to move on life brings him back to me. And I love him so much that I forgive him and just hearing his voice makes me feel happy. I don't know what will happen to me. Whether I will ever be happy with him or without him. But I am in severe depression right now. I am fighting for it to go away. But everything is screwed up right now.
+Dubai Girl of course she will if she wants to. Mehran
Sorry Preona, I must had missed your message as I just saw it and don't see having made any comment on it dear . I read your comment now and will write w few line for you here :
Life does not keep bring him back, you do. He has no power over you , you allow him because you have given priority to your desire and abandoned your psychological security to him convinced yourself that he represents your psychological security. Simply understand that you are focused on this and in fact as long as you think he is your psychological security you will be abused by his lack of contentment and will never get close to any meaningful and stable situation within you and create some psychological security in day today life. He seems to be using you for his pleasure of feeling mighty as you seem to be complying to his wishes and he sees no reason to be caring , loyal and honest with you. Simply understand that life is far bigger than him and he does not represent life and only represents his own need to feel important by your weakness. Build something out of yourself and create your own psychological security on your own and with your day to day life and simply respect yourself and focus on you as it is you who is neglecting you, others ( in your case ) are only focused on themselves and not you, they will not respect you if you don't respect yourself first. He is there in this relationship for what he can get away with and not to build anything and that is why he keeps comparing you as he knows that is how he can make you feel as if you have to prove to him that you are better than the other girls by doing what he wants and so you are being used with your own hands allowing him to treat you the way you are being interacted with. Just move on no one is a god, you have made this decision to consider him all that while you can clearly see that he is not but you have made him to be in your mind and he is seeing it and using it.What good you see in him is what you have made him up to be in your mind but he is not what you have built him up to be in your thoughts. Judge him according to his behaviour and interaction with you and not juts focus on defending what you have built of him in your mind and now not able to accept that what you have built is not good. You are loving your idea of him but he is not your idea, he is who he is so see him as he is not as you perception of him so you can feel you have made a good choice and are having a good partner. Stop looking at him with the same eyes you once did at the beginning as he has proven to you that he is not what you used to see in him yet you are still meeting him, seeing him with the past and not in his actuality. Empower yourself and make something out of yourself to rely on yourself and bring your happiness from within you and not expect to buy it by doing so much for the partner hoping then you will be paid some attention to by him which may bring happiness to you. Bring your own happiness by yourself and the others will see you for what you are and treat you as you expect and not as if your happiness is in their hands and feel that they can get away with anything and still have you! Respect yourself and then the others will too.
Thank you for replying. I will do as you have said. I will take care of myself. Bring myself happiness. But it will take time to erase or set aside his memories. He meant everything to me. I am afraid whether I can forget him or not. I will not be able to love anyone like that anymore. 😢😢😢😢
At some point it is true though bcuz some people looking for more better or attracted to someone else they see or met then they broke up or leave their spouse. That is painful just bcuz she looks better than you? Or your attitude that's why she or he left you n be with that someone else.
Do you think there's still hope to find true love as a 30 year old woman? :(
+CupNoodleKitty 30 year old woman is just entering the best and most qualified time of her life. 30 year old woman is the catch of the day ! :) of course dear it is just the beginning of your life and romantic experiences as it is just now that you are approaching perfection of you and wisdom that would help you to choose better and be most attractive because of your development and wisdom and knowledge you have accumulated through out your life to present. :)
Mehran Dadbeh Thank you so so much for your kind reply, I appreciate it and you put a huge smile on my face :) So even though my boyfriend broke up with me, I don't need to lose hope that I'll find true love?! :)
+CupNoodleKitty No you should not lose hope dear. :) most loves are true at the beginning of all anyways but how long that remains true is the question ! :) At any day, any age, any time one may find true love dear, love has no time limit or age limit. :)
Mehran Dadbeh You're such a nice person, thank you so much. Guess what? My ex boyfriend contacted me, he said he regrets the breakup and sees now that he has to change certain things. He hopes we'll get back together and talk in person soon. I have no idea how to react. Any advice?
+CupNoodleKitty Just see what he says, see what is reasonable and acceptable and if you also feel the same way, then I guess you will make the right decision for you and not for him, for you. :) Let him do most of the talking and listen and then make your observation and suggestions and so on, but talk one at a time and not both at the same time, keep your voices , volume down and speak in a way to solve and resolve rather than placing blame on each other. It is a repair schedule not a judgment day ! :)
Hi Dear ( not sure your name ), Watch this video for now: th-cam.com/video/TygVTwXD3rU/w-d-xo.html
and message me on Skype and perhaps we can chat about it if I am available at the same time you are. Voice chatt is easier for me as I happened to write often and it becomes rather tasking. There is no why abut this behaviour as this is the nature of some people who jump from one branch to another because they are not sure of themselves and their own characters and always doubt if they are good enough so they try different things all the time as they always need this affirmation from any one and anything they see so they can reassure themselves. It is best to find these things way before it gets too serious and or when already married . So it is your lucky day that you broke up with this guy and found this out now rather than later when already too involved and married. Just move on this guy is not life, it is a fragment of what has been available but not the best choice for you and certainly not a big part of life and definitely nothing worth being devastated by as how such person with such mentality and behaviour be worth it for you or any girl who knows about his mentality to stay in a relationship with. You may enjoy these as well :
th-cam.com/video/M1r5OQBYxMw/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/2uVG4JTYtjE/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/wqr62xIFdq8/w-d-xo.html
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Whats your skype username?