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What has really helped me is finding a great thrift store to donate to. The store is clean, their prices are reasonable and their profits benefit the underserved in the community. For some of us who have a hard time letting go of things, I think we need a place like that so we can feel good about giving it away.
That is a great tip. My mother-in-law would always say ,"Somebody could use it. But never wanted to let us give it to someone." I donated the majority of their new, unworn clothes to a charity that provides clothes (free of charge) to help people re-enter the workforce after incarceration, rehab, homelessness, etc. That actually made her feel better. Thank you for watching and sharing what works for you. 💕
Totally agree❤ that's a part why I haven't given my stuff to Goodwill because their prices are ridiculous, so I prayed about it and God placed it on my heart to have a free yard sale. I will be giving a way all of my baby items since they where all gifted to me for both of my pregnancies and the rest of my reg household items I will sell will be extremely cheap and any funds that are made will go to making care packages for the homeless. Posting this comment for anyone who is under the same predicament and needs an idea.
@@Nina_Medina You're a sweetheart to give away your baby stuff. My son and I did a quick garage sale this summer but it was when there was a city wide garage sale event so we didn't make much money. I think that's what encouraged me to just give stuff away. I'm in my 60s and garage sales are a lot of work! I don't have that kind of energy anymore. 😊 Many blessings to you and your family. 🙏🏼
The exact same thing happened for me. For about five years, I kept telling my Dad he should start clearing stuff out of the house that he didn't want, and that he needed to be more active or one day he'll have a fall and be forced to move into aged care. He refused. And guess what happened? He had a fall, went to hospital and never got to go home again. My adult son and I had to clear out his house. All I'll say is that the situation was incredibly difficult and so stressful! It really was a nightmare.
@AthomewithKaren unfortunately some cannot see the possibilities of a catastrophe. In the case of my in-laws, cognitive decline had already set in, so they were not capable of understanding. 😢 So sorry you had to go through that. 💔
During the pandemic I had to clear out my husband's 3000 Sq ft childhood home. His parents are alive and well. They had moved, leaving this home full, literally stuffed. It was ridiculous. There were also 14 storage units packed floor to ceiling. They are both hoarders. The thought that I will have to clean out the stuffed, 3 car garage, 5500 Sq ft house they built, it's almost more than I can handle. I do feel angry that they are completely clueless that all there stuff is a gray cloud hanging over my senior years. I'm 55 years old, they are active and healthy, I'll probably have to face this when I'm nearing 70! Uuuugghhh. Don't do this to your families, folks.
@jodollman8136 it's really tough when the parents are completely oblivious and keep perpetuating the problem. Sending positive thoughts that they will have an epiphany soon. ❤️
I'm in very much the same situation with my father-in-law. His wife died and he's still able to live alone. He is a hoarder - of mainly paper. He says he's slowly going through all the stuff but it is soooo slow. He will sit down for an hour or so a day and pick up one piece of paper out of the many boxes - it could be a receipt for dinner from 1985 or a love letter from his late wife - he gives everything the same consideration. And we can't help him because we "don't know what's important." He has a few trash bags now of paper he wants to shred because it has his name on it or some info he is afraid someone will use for identity theft. Meanwhile there are boxes stacked to the ceiling in three rooms in his house and filling his garage. He continues to keep every receipt and a lot of junk mail. He will bring over a magazine from like 1992 that has an article that he thinks we might find interesting and gets agitated if we don't still have the magazine when he asks for it back. He has a storage shed that has nothing but old paperback books he won't let go. There are hundreds. I would like him to come live with us but he won't leave his hoard and it just can't come with him. I don't know what we're going to do if he becomes unable to live alone. And even after he dies we'll still have to go take care of it all. A lot of it will be easy for me, off to the incinerator! But his wife used to say that she kept money around the house and that we needed to look inside books and envelopes after they passed.
@rainyday13 I totally resonate with your story. We found tax returns dating back to their very first jobs through their last, every Time magazine since 1970, as well as canceled checks from when my father-in-law first opened his checking account in 1950. Even now, we have to distract my mother-in-law to throw out the junk mail because she tries to keep it, in case she needs it in the future. But I agree that you will need to sort through it all because we found important papers, travelers' checks, money, and stock certificates mixed with trash. Thank you for watching and sharing your story. It helps others understand they are not alone. And it may bring additional tips. 💕
Receipts from the 1990's, just-in-case-jars from the 70's, and identical clothing with tags still on them.. that's a lot to work through. Great video, love the clear way you speak and your kindness towards your family in this situation.
Thank you for watching and for your sweet comment. All we can do is accept it for what it was and tackle it. To get upset by it would not change the situation.
@@TrishGroves Thank you for watching 💕. It was such a hard time for the family because we all had Covid-19, and they restricted our visitation, which did not help with his mental state. 😢
That’s what we are trying to do. ❤ Purging, purging, thank you so much for sharing, and encouraging me to get going on the purging, we have our stuff in our shop. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. Thank you educating us on cognitive decline. ❤ I really appreciate it.
I'm happy that it worked out for your fil and the rest of your family. I'm purging, decluttering , & organizing my 2-bedroom apartment at this time with my long-time boyfriend. He has been a great help because my health problems are declining slowly. After this purge, I have to keep on top of it, so it doesn't get bad again. Especially the closets.
@urpreposterous682 Thank you for watching and for sharing your experience. Set small goals for yourself so it's not so overwhelming. If you're already having health issues, try not to create additional stress on top of. 💓🙏🏾
@@AgingOnYourTerms Sadly, I’m in the middle of a major purge due to an upcoming apartment inspection required to renew my lease. I wish I could move, but with rental prices skyrocketing, I feel trapped here. It's not an ideal living situation, especially for myself and other residents dealing with health challenges. I've noticed the toll it's taking on them as well-it’s really disheartening.
Great video! What a powerful story of your father-in-law. I began SDC about 6 months ago to prepare for my husband's retirement in a year and a half. I'm a huge fan of not having so much stuff and I know our kids will be grateful when they don't have to go through a mountain of our belongings one day.
I thought this was one of your first videos, but I see you have been producing content for a while. Going back and watching the previous ones, as the topics are close to my heart. My dad and his partner recently combined their lives into a small apartment after living in two medium sized apartments for 25 years. It was so hard on them, both around 80 years old. My husband and I have one child, with physical limitations. No way are we going to require them to clean up our messes. It’s loving your family right, I think, to take care of this yourself.
When my dad became ill, ran into same problem. He passed away several years ago, short illness. Mom still lives in the house, at 98. I've been sorting out ever since, at her speed. The house looked neat, spotless. The closets, extra rooms, another story. I also learned my dad was extremely neat, organized. My mother, not at all the same. Bags and boxes of donations have gone out. Family has taken some, but one day what remains will go. Much easier since I've done a lot of sorting. Tackling my own now as well.
@terryruiz7417 Thank you for watching and sharing your experience. Whike it is sad that so many of us have gone through this. Hopefully, our stories will help others. 💕
This is such sound advice, and I loved the impact your care and work had on your father in law. It seems this video is going a bit viral? Well done! You have a great speaking voice, and a knack for engaging , it’s a pleasure to listen to you. Thanks for sharing this!
"Swedish death cleaning" now that is a heckuva name. We own very little "stuff" and have a long-time practice of not buying anything new without giving up something old. This also makes you pause a bit before buying something since you have to think about what you are going to give away. If it does not bring joy or value, no reason to have it.
I was surprised to learn of the term and that there was a book. I'm simple. It was just decluttering before 😉. We downsized a few years ago, and if there's no joy, usefulness, or value, it's gotta go. 😉
My mother passed 4 ago & left a house filled with papers, old clothes, etc. We got rid of the clothes & tossed what needed to go. The papers were tossed in a box and haven’t been looked at since. The grief is still heavy & I just can’t do it. I have been decluttering my home so that my children won’t be burdened with it.
@@odualumna4766 Thank you for sharing your story. It is so much to bear, having to make decisions about the belongings while trying to grieve. Your children will reap the benefits of your planning. ❤️
Im.in my kate 50s. We moved 2 years ago. To be able to get rid of so much stuff felt fabulous... but. Im already feeling we have too much again. Youve given me the push I needed to start again. My partner is in a wheelchair and his habit of keeping things for one day stresses ne out so much. Currebtly on holiday, its early evening . But Im starting in our living room... now. 🙌 I feel lighter already.
We decluttered when we moved and it felt great. We have not kept all of our 'purge' promises, but we have not gone back to how we were before the move. It is definitely a process. Good luck to us all. 😉
This really hits home. We just moved my MIL into a facility. She only had a 2 bedroom apartment, but between work, figuring out what to do with her stuff and fighting with my sister in-law, the stress was ENORMOUS. My MILdidnt understand that we couldnt visit as all our spare time was handling her affairs. I dont have kids either, so i have also committed to clean out my house so my family wouldn't have to make so many decisions. Thanks for the video.
@migrose6547 it is such a tough time just cleaning out our loved ones place, but adding in family drama just makes a stressful situation even tougher. I am so sorry you had to go through that. Kudos to you for not repeating the cycle. 💕
We began decluttering when downsized our home a few years before this incident with my in-laws. Now I'm more vigilant about it. Thank you for watching 💕.
Thankyou for your clear advice and also for the dignity you are showing to your parents in law.❤ I’m looking around our house for clutter as I write this! 😊
I do advanced care planning as part of my death doula training and yes! Swedish death cleaning is amazing. I also encourage living estate sales with things not donated if my clients so choose.
You offer a much needed service! People need help rethinking end-of-life decision-making isn't morbid. It truly is the best gift a person can give to themself and their family. Thank you so much for watching and for providing that information. 💕
Been thru something similar with my own mother (UK) it’s unreal what they keep for 20, 30,40 years! Husband and I live in a one bed so I’ve always been fastidious about what comes in and out, paring it back even further as we approach our 60’s. It’s great what you did for your FIL and now doing for yourselves.
Thank you for watching 💕. Keeping up with the decluttering takes energy. I use my in-laws as motivation not to let myself get too relaxed about not doing it. 😉
I love your video.This is exactly what I told my parents when I moved overseas. I told them, particularly my mom who liked to keep stuff and buy stuff to clear out what they don’t need. And surprisingly during my visits to them I saw they really tried to get rid of some. My parents’ house was always impeccably clean, but like you said it’s what’s in the closets or kitchen cupboards that not used that’s the problem. They got through most of their excess stuff. My mother tried to convince me to take her kitchen “collection” with me overseas it’s just not practical sometimes to my regret because she had nice dining stuff that she only uses when we had guests which became far in between as they grew older and their friends and family also grew older and moved on. Turning this to my situation, I feel the same as you do, I don’t want to end have having to let other people deal with my mess when I pass. It will,not be first to my children who has their own worries to bear. The most I could do is make the process easier for them. - don’t buy things you think it’s good no have but will only use once in a blue moon if ever - donate share dispose things that has been outgrown, not practical to use, bought “by mistake” so that others may still use and enjoy them - embrace a minimalist approach, not clinically minimalistic, but practical minimalism - regularly do an annual spring clean - buy what is needed but dispose one or maybe even two that’s not needed or useful - enjoy the things that you bought, don’t save them for the visitors or guests - keep stuff organized so that we don’t keep on buying the same thing 5x over - save and buy quality stuff that can last for years, don’t buy gimmicky stuff - don’t buy stuff in the hope you will pass them on to your kids, times are changing faster than we could spell change, kids have their own preferences. Have an open discussion with them bout how they feel about this issue - keep memories not stuff, it’s ok to save a few items that will help honor your love ones, but not all of them
Yes! These are all great tips. And the fact that we are learning from our parents so we do not perpetuate the problem is grounds for celebrating! Thank you for watching and for sharing. 💕
But but but, I have pet jumping spiders….🕷️Also had 3 female pet mice too, inherited from my niece who decided she didn’t want them anymore. But yeah I see your point. 👍🏻😉
New sub here. I would really just like to thank you for helping your father in-law to get back home from the facility and be where he wanted to be! So many times people see elderly folks struggling and become super judgemental about the situation. You saw their struggle and said, "How can I help you?" God bless you for this and thank you for reminding us that you can do something to help your elderly relatives while they're still alive and vastly improve the quality of their life now. ❤🙏
Thank you for watching and for your sweet comment. 💕 I agree with you. So many people dismiss the elderly, which will fall back on them when they get older because they are teaching their children not to care. I hope my family stories will help break that cycle. 🙏🏾
Thank you for sharing your story. It really resonated with me. I've had some similar experiences that left me very passionate about making my passing or incapacitation as smooth as possible for my loved ones. Some of those were seeing that it doesn't always come late in life. Several friends lost their spouses in their 40's. Some swiftly; others after long battles that took a toll. A good friend brought his 15-year-old daughter home in a wheelchair. I've seen the strain on the family, the frustrations and anger, then hating themselves for feeling those feelings. I never want my family to go through that self-hatred over caring for me or dealing with my stuff. I've also seen the in-fighting that can turn brothers and sisters into enemies when someone passes without a clear will, and worse, someone who becomes incapacitated in the hospital without an advance directive / living will, and now family is fighting over what they sincerely believe you would want. The message of this video is so very important. Whether you're in your 80's or your 20's, the time to make sure your home, your stuff, and your finances/legal estate are squared away is now. It needs to happen sooner or later for all of us. Far easier now then after. It doesn't have to be an obsession or dark weight you carry. Do it now, and then enjoy the peace it brings. A little checkup once a year or if something big changes, and then enjoy living. Thanks again. Great video.
@sethwilliamson Thank you for watching and for sharing your reasons for this is important to you. So many people put it off because they think it is a morbid topic, but it really is not. I hope others can see it like you do. 💓
Such a thoughtful video! Thank you for sharing your personal experience in the hope of helping others. It is amazing how much we can accumulate over time. I think I have always been a bit of a purging type person. However it was when I was hit with a health issue where I really did not know if I would see the next day that I looked into Swedish death cleaning, and it really resonated with me. I did not want my daughter or husband to have to deal with the burden of dealing with my "stuff." Gratefully my health issue went into remission, but I have kept going with decluttering, and have not looked back. I do not miss anything I have cleared out, and having that extra breathing space is very calming! 💐
Thank you so much for watching and for sharing your story. I truly believe it will help others, as sometimes it helps to see the benefits or issues faced by others. I am glad to know your health issue is in remission. 💕
Wow. I watched your whole video. Left a huge comment and now it’s no where to be seen? Long story short. Bless you for being a big part of your in laws clean out and your father n law coming around to a healthier person because of all you cleared out and organized.
Unfortunately, that had also happened to me, and this brain can never remember exactly what I wrote. 😂 Organizing those 'tetris' closets and getting rid of 'hidden' clutter that was preventing them from actually living made a HUGE difference.
That’s a lot to clean omg 😱. Thank you for this because I feel good that I love to declutter. Your husband is so lucky to have a wife like you who helped him with his parents. People don’t like facilities and I am happy you guys bring him home. He was missing home 😊.
@kimberlygibson3 He started crying when we carried him into the house and sat him on his favorite spot on the couch. He needed to be home, even if the doctor didn't think that he was ready to be discharged to home. Thank you for watching! 💕
Wow, that's a lot, both the sorting out your in-laws house and the stuff!!! Important info on cognitive decline too, it manifests in so many different ways. I love this and the reframe around WHY we're decluttering and getting rid of stuff. We had to go through and get rid of so much when we moved to FL and it was so freeing. The unfortunate thing is how fast these things start to accumulate again, thanks for this, Vicki, I needed to hear it! I've never heard of the Swedish Death Cleaning either💕🥰
@starchyshauna I trying to find another way to say 'declutter' and that popped up. I was surprised that I had never heard it before. Now we snoop everywhere because we were fooled before. It is a struggle to keep up, and also not to overconsume. We downsized to a house half the size of our previous home, and we also have had some moments of backtracking. But it's easier to notice with less house. 😂
Oh, this is so good! So timely. My husband and I are currently going through our entire house. I keep saying to him if you haven’t looked at it in a year we’re getting rid of it ha ha 🎉 this video made me think a little harder about organizing things. We still have some of the kids stuff that is keepsakes. I think it would be a benefit just to get keepsake bins one for each member of the family and if it doesn’t go in that keepsake bin for that specific person and it’s not a use it’s gone. I can see why this video is blowing up. Thank you for sharing your story
@KarenWilsonOnline Thank you for watching and for sharing your idea of creating a keepsake bin for each person. There is no having to hunt down each item. Love it! 💕🤗
Ohh Vicki, you have brought me back to reality after still feeling my holiday high… My mum is a like hoarder, kind of. I’ve spent a week every two years hiring a huge skip bin to clear stuff out. I actually filmed this last year to make a video one day. This Swedish clearing is awesome. Make so much sense. Great video
@xploradora8099 Your Mom sounds like my mother-in-law. Not quite a hoarder. I was a 'declutterer' until I learned about 'Swedish Death Cleaning'. 😉 Thanks for watching and sharing your experience. 💓
this is very sobering! I've cleaned out my Granny's house while grieving (she was a pack rat) and I've also witnessed my Husband's Great-Grandma get rid of everything while she was alive and only live with a small but minimized bedroom of things. the latter was much easier to deal with while grieving. I never thought of bringing someone to the house that needs unplanned care. I have been a minimalist for 10 years but in the past year I have let things fall to the wayside and have accumulated a lot more. I want to be ready for whatever life has in store and not have possessions holding me back from anything.
@@AngelissimaASMR Thank you for watching and for sharing your story. It's so hard to deal with 'extra' stuff while you're trying to grieve. How awesome that Great-Grandma had the foresight to minimalist. 💕
I just stumbled upon you, and I am so impressed. Your explanations, descriptions, your voice, are all so easy to hear and understand. I've subscribed :)
This is my favorite video ive seen of yours...well at least equal with the cruise😂. I was being very resistant to the idea of cleaning for the kids. I've cleaned up their messes for years so i figured payback time, right? 🤣🤣 but your story has convinced me to do a hoarder cleanse for the right reasons!❤
@WildHare-fb7ry what we went through definitely puts a different perspective on it. It benefits us, too. Thank you for watching and for your sweet comment. 💕🤗
There used to be a Vietnamese Buddhist meditation on death. I read about it in a book by Thich Nhat Hanh. The meditation was done by couples who were about to get married. Apparently, it had the effect of making them appreciate their marriage much more because they knew it would not last forever.
Thank-you. I'm living through this now. My 91 year old father is home and the house is organized except for the garage. My house is a different story. I worry about what I'm leaving for my nephews. I need to figure out how to tackle this.
Thank you for watching and sharing your story. The best way to tackle it is SLOWLY. Start with something small like one drawer or one side of a cabinet. Don't try to do too much at one time because it will become overwhelming. You can do it. 💕
This sounds very familiar...we "got to" do this for my paternal grandparents. Ugh, it was definitely one of those scenarios that they could have had the family come together (maybe in shifts) to deal with 10/15 years prior. But no, everything is last minute. At that age, they were mid 80s, they also had those collections of receipts and popsicle sticks and random stuff. For some reason, they had very old records but they no longer had a record player. There were also all those random tchotchkies that are fragile and people keep around for no reason...that's really the first thing that can go. Anyways, i also have the Swedish Death Cleaning book and will hopefully starts working on that in small increments. What I find so utterly sad and frustrating is the similarities of cognitive decline and ADHD...i too have bought sometimes three of the same thing because it was "out of sight, out of mind" and I'm also very incapable of working through steps in organization the way that it's difficult for old people. I think eventually, my "ADHD tax" is going to be having to hire one of those decluttering/organizing/cleaning agencies. Also, great video to remind people of this larger issue of not being that person who leaves so much work for the loved ones.
@SuperAH1985 Thank you for watching and sharing your experience. Organization is already hard for most people, but when you add an illness (physical or neurological) on top of it, it makes even small tasks seem bigger. I've listed 2 channels below, run by my friend Lonna, who is a Psychiatric RN, who also has ADHD. The Lonna RaeDHD channel provides tips and strategies to help manage and live with ADHD. youtube.com/@lonnaraedhd?si=XrnUSTPY1fDy9xCA The Simply Lane channel offers quick cleaning and decluttering tips. youtube.com/@simply_lane?si=9Wp1RNyAweAN19aA I am hopegul these channels will provide you with some tips and strategies to help you along the way. But please, take this one step at a time. Do not push yourself because your health is number one. 💕
@@AgingOnYourTerms Thank you so very much for those resources! I appreciate your "solutions oriented" mindset. That can be so helpful to anyone who wonders where to start. I'll give those channels a watch. Thank you again and keep spreading your compassionate life skills.
Yup...know this one well. Had to make at least three trips to NM to pick up Mom's miscellaneous aka stuff. Vehicle stuffed with trash bags. Will never forget the bank statement from the 90's
Yes! I didn't reveal everything we found...but the tax returns back to the first one for each of them, plus every canceled check since my father-in-law opened the checking account. 🙃
The more you described the situation and the behaviour of your in-laws, the more it was like listening to my own story! Receipts from 40 years ago! Multiples of everything! Just plain junk that should have been thrown out years ago!
No judgement here. Everyone has their reasons for doing, or not doing. My hope is that you will do this for yourself so your, or your loved ones, are not put in this situation when you may need help in the future.
I've spent so much time away from my home working like a maniac. Now I intend on enjoying my home and it's contents because it is my happiness. I will have lists on things that need to be donated but I'm not going to agonize over the process. If my family has to deal with the bulk of my home and it's belongings so be it. It's all part of the process!
@lark6spur that is definitely your prerogative. But after dealing with this with multiple family members, I will not subject my relatives to the same pain of having to deal with my crap while trying to grieve. And I did not say I wasn't living in comfort. Being surrounded by receipts, broken items, things you don't use or need, and not being able to safely get to the things you need, is not joyful.
@@lark6spur sadly your family may be so overcome with grief at your passing that they just get a dumpster and unload it all into that (mind you that is more to happen if your house is crammed), or hire someone who never knew you to do it. No one is saying that we need to get rid of the things we truly enjoy and love, just to consider what is stuffed away and not truly being valued and possibly decide you may never use “whatever” in your lifetime so clean the space…empty space is not a bad thing. I actually enjoy going through closets and drawers - and have found things that bring good memories and the bad memories things I personally get rid of. I’ve also come to realize what is the stuff I keep for my fantasy life (now too old to live out in the country alone) that I have decided to pass on to others in support of their hopes and dreams. I’d like to suggest that you share your stories of items that have meaning maybe even a journal and include photos of those items and show your love for family by relieving this future burden of the “stuff that has no meaning”. Relationships mean more than belongings and a fire can destroy it all in minutes. God bless you with peace. ❤️
So many people just get frustrated. And I admit we started off frustrated until we dug in to see what was wrong with them. The day my mother-in-law argued with that food never expires if it's in the refrigerator, it was a light bulb moment for me that she was trying to convince me not to throw out the science experiments that no longer looked like food.
💕Thank you so much for watching! 🤗
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What has really helped me is finding a great thrift store to donate to. The store is clean, their prices are reasonable and their profits benefit the underserved in the community.
For some of us who have a hard time letting go of things, I think we need a place like that so we can feel good about giving it away.
That is a great tip. My mother-in-law would always say ,"Somebody could use it. But never wanted to let us give it to someone." I donated the majority of their new, unworn clothes to a charity that provides clothes (free of charge) to help people re-enter the workforce after incarceration, rehab, homelessness, etc. That actually made her feel better.
Thank you for watching and sharing what works for you. 💕
Totally agree❤ that's a part why I haven't given my stuff to Goodwill because their prices are ridiculous, so I prayed about it and God placed it on my heart to have a free yard sale. I will be giving a way all of my baby items since they where all gifted to me for both of my pregnancies and the rest of my reg household items I will sell will be extremely cheap and any funds that are made will go to making care packages for the homeless.
Posting this comment for anyone who is under the same predicament and needs an idea.
@@Nina_Medina You're a sweetheart to give away your baby stuff.
My son and I did a quick garage sale this summer but it was when there was a city wide garage sale event so we didn't make much money. I think that's what encouraged me to just give stuff away. I'm in my 60s and garage sales are a lot of work! I don't have that kind of energy anymore. 😊
Many blessings to you and your family. 🙏🏼
The exact same thing happened for me. For about five years, I kept telling my Dad he should start clearing stuff out of the house that he didn't want, and that he needed to be more active or one day he'll have a fall and be forced to move into aged care. He refused. And guess what happened? He had a fall, went to hospital and never got to go home again. My adult son and I had to clear out his house. All I'll say is that the situation was incredibly difficult and so stressful! It really was a nightmare.
@AthomewithKaren unfortunately some cannot see the possibilities of a catastrophe. In the case of my in-laws, cognitive decline had already set in, so they were not capable of understanding. 😢
So sorry you had to go through that. 💔
During the pandemic I had to clear out my husband's 3000 Sq ft childhood home. His parents are alive and well. They had moved, leaving this home full, literally stuffed. It was ridiculous. There were also 14 storage units packed floor to ceiling. They are both hoarders. The thought that I will have to clean out the stuffed, 3 car garage, 5500 Sq ft house they built, it's almost more than I can handle. I do feel angry that they are completely clueless that all there stuff is a gray cloud hanging over my senior years. I'm 55 years old, they are active and healthy, I'll probably have to face this when I'm nearing 70! Uuuugghhh. Don't do this to your families, folks.
@jodollman8136 it's really tough when the parents are completely oblivious and keep perpetuating the problem. Sending positive thoughts that they will have an epiphany soon. ❤️
I'm in very much the same situation with my father-in-law. His wife died and he's still able to live alone. He is a hoarder - of mainly paper. He says he's slowly going through all the stuff but it is soooo slow. He will sit down for an hour or so a day and pick up one piece of paper out of the many boxes - it could be a receipt for dinner from 1985 or a love letter from his late wife - he gives everything the same consideration. And we can't help him because we "don't know what's important." He has a few trash bags now of paper he wants to shred because it has his name on it or some info he is afraid someone will use for identity theft. Meanwhile there are boxes stacked to the ceiling in three rooms in his house and filling his garage. He continues to keep every receipt and a lot of junk mail. He will bring over a magazine from like 1992 that has an article that he thinks we might find interesting and gets agitated if we don't still have the magazine when he asks for it back. He has a storage shed that has nothing but old paperback books he won't let go. There are hundreds. I would like him to come live with us but he won't leave his hoard and it just can't come with him. I don't know what we're going to do if he becomes unable to live alone. And even after he dies we'll still have to go take care of it all. A lot of it will be easy for me, off to the incinerator! But his wife used to say that she kept money around the house and that we needed to look inside books and envelopes after they passed.
@rainyday13 I totally resonate with your story. We found tax returns dating back to their very first jobs through their last, every Time magazine since 1970, as well as canceled checks from when my father-in-law first opened his checking account in 1950.
Even now, we have to distract my mother-in-law to throw out the junk mail because she tries to keep it, in case she needs it in the future.
But I agree that you will need to sort through it all because we found important papers, travelers' checks, money, and stock certificates mixed with trash.
Thank you for watching and sharing your story. It helps others understand they are not alone. And it may bring additional tips. 💕
Clearly they are wealthy. Hire someone to do it and send them the bill.
@@carollynt money has nothing to do with it. But thanks for dropping by.
Receipts from the 1990's, just-in-case-jars from the 70's, and identical clothing with tags still on them.. that's a lot to work through. Great video, love the clear way you speak and your kindness towards your family in this situation.
Thank you for watching and for your sweet comment. All we can do is accept it for what it was and tackle it. To get upset by it would not change the situation.
I love the heartwarming story of your father in law. Thank you so much for sharing how Swedish Death Cleaning helped your family. ❤
@@TrishGroves Thank you for watching 💕. It was such a hard time for the family because we all had Covid-19, and they restricted our visitation, which did not help with his mental state. 😢
That’s what we are trying to do. ❤ Purging, purging, thank you so much for sharing, and encouraging me to get going on the purging, we have our stuff in our shop.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us.
Thank you educating us on cognitive decline. ❤ I really appreciate it.
Thank you for watching and for your kind comment 💕. Take it slow so it doesn't become overwhelming.
I'm happy that it worked out for your fil and the rest of your family. I'm purging, decluttering , & organizing my 2-bedroom apartment at this time with my long-time boyfriend. He has been a great help because my health problems are declining slowly. After this purge, I have to keep on top of it, so it doesn't get bad again. Especially the closets.
@urpreposterous682 Thank you for watching and for sharing your experience. Set small goals for yourself so it's not so overwhelming. If you're already having health issues, try not to create additional stress on top of. 💓🙏🏾
@@AgingOnYourTerms
Sadly, I’m in the middle of a major purge due to an upcoming apartment inspection required to renew my lease. I wish I could move, but with rental prices skyrocketing, I feel trapped here. It's not an ideal living situation, especially for myself and other residents dealing with health challenges. I've noticed the toll it's taking on them as well-it’s really disheartening.
Great video! What a powerful story of your father-in-law.
I began SDC about 6 months ago to prepare for my husband's retirement in a year and a half. I'm a huge fan of not having so much stuff and I know our kids will be grateful when they don't have to go through a mountain of our belongings one day.
Thank you for watching. 💕
Your children are so lucky you are doing this now. It's a lot of work, but it's so worth it.
Such an interesting topic Vicki. This is why it is important to practice the swedish death cleaning while we are able x
Breaking the cycle, one task at a time. Thank you for watching! 💕
I thought this was one of your first videos, but I see you have been producing content for a while. Going back and watching the previous ones, as the topics are close to my heart. My dad and his partner recently combined their lives into a small apartment after living in two medium sized apartments for 25 years. It was so hard on them, both around 80 years old. My husband and I have one child, with physical limitations. No way are we going to require them to clean up our messes. It’s loving your family right, I think, to take care of this yourself.
That is a great attitude to have, to spare you child from having to do this, alone. ❤️❤️❤️
When my dad became ill, ran into same problem. He passed away several years ago, short illness. Mom still lives in the house, at 98. I've been sorting out ever since, at her speed. The house looked neat, spotless. The closets, extra rooms, another story. I also learned my dad was extremely neat, organized. My mother, not at all the same. Bags and boxes of donations have gone out. Family has taken some, but one day what remains will go. Much easier since I've done a lot of sorting. Tackling my own now as well.
@terryruiz7417 Thank you for watching and sharing your experience. Whike it is sad that so many of us have gone through this. Hopefully, our stories will help others. 💕
This is really an eye opening for me. Thank you so much for sharing!❤
@@jeanate7912 Thank you for watching 💕
This video was very informative and explained so well. Everyone should read this. Thank you.
@@debbiejester751 Thank you for watching and for your kind comment 💕
This is such sound advice, and I loved the impact your care and work had on your father in law.
It seems this video is going a bit viral? Well done! You have a great speaking voice, and a knack for engaging , it’s a pleasure to listen to you. Thanks for sharing this!
Thank you so much for watching and for your kind words. 💕
I am pleasantly surprised at how well this video is doing. 🤗
"Swedish death cleaning" now that is a heckuva name. We own very little "stuff" and have a long-time practice of not buying anything new without giving up something old. This also makes you pause a bit before buying something since you have to think about what you are going to give away. If it does not bring joy or value, no reason to have it.
I was surprised to learn of the term and that there was a book. I'm simple. It was just decluttering before 😉.
We downsized a few years ago, and if there's no joy, usefulness, or value, it's gotta go. 😉
My mother passed 4 ago & left a house filled with papers, old clothes, etc. We got rid of the clothes & tossed what needed to go. The papers were tossed in a box and haven’t been looked at since. The grief is still heavy & I just can’t do it. I have been decluttering my home so that my children won’t be burdened with it.
@@odualumna4766 Thank you for sharing your story. It is so much to bear, having to make decisions about the belongings while trying to grieve. Your children will reap the benefits of your planning. ❤️
Im.in my kate 50s. We moved 2 years ago. To be able to get rid of so much stuff felt fabulous... but. Im already feeling we have too much again.
Youve given me the push I needed to start again. My partner is in a wheelchair and his habit of keeping things for one day stresses ne out so much. Currebtly on holiday, its early evening
.
But Im starting in our living room... now. 🙌
I feel lighter already.
We decluttered when we moved and it felt great. We have not kept all of our 'purge' promises, but we have not gone back to how we were before the move. It is definitely a process. Good luck to us all. 😉
This really hits home. We just moved my MIL into a facility. She only had a 2 bedroom apartment, but between work, figuring out what to do with her stuff and fighting with my sister in-law, the stress was ENORMOUS. My MILdidnt understand that we couldnt visit as all our spare time was handling her affairs. I dont have kids either, so i have also committed to clean out my house so my family wouldn't have to make so many decisions. Thanks for the video.
@migrose6547 it is such a tough time just cleaning out our loved ones place, but adding in family drama just makes a stressful situation even tougher. I am so sorry you had to go through that.
Kudos to you for not repeating the cycle. 💕
Scandinavians tend to be mindful and practical. This doesn't surprise me at all. As soon as we finally move into our new place, we plan on doing this.
We began decluttering when downsized our home a few years before this incident with my in-laws. Now I'm more vigilant about it.
Thank you for watching 💕.
I love being a minimalist. Great video and it is definitely very beneficial to declutter and keep a place clutter free. Thank you for sharing this! 🙂
Thank you for watching.💕 It is amazing how much an organized space can positively impact a person's well-being.
Thankyou for your clear advice and also for the dignity you are showing to your parents in law.❤ I’m looking around our house for clutter as I write this! 😊
Thank you for watching. We made a promise to keep them home and we will keep it. 💕
I do advanced care planning as part of my death doula training and yes! Swedish death cleaning is amazing. I also encourage living estate sales with things not donated if my clients so choose.
You offer a much needed service! People need help rethinking end-of-life decision-making isn't morbid. It truly is the best gift a person can give to themself and their family.
Thank you so much for watching and for providing that information. 💕
Great change for your FIL. So kind.
@@denisecarter5117 Thank you for watching 💕
Been thru something similar with my own mother (UK) it’s unreal what they keep for 20, 30,40 years! Husband and I live in a one bed so I’ve always been fastidious about what comes in and out, paring it back even further as we approach our 60’s. It’s great what you did for your FIL and now doing for yourselves.
Thank you for watching 💕. Keeping up with the decluttering takes energy. I use my in-laws as motivation not to let myself get too relaxed about not doing it. 😉
Great video with real life applications. Thank you!❤
@@AnimalFarm341 Thank you for watching and for your kind comment 😊
I love your video.This is exactly what I told my parents when I moved overseas. I told them, particularly my mom who liked to keep stuff and buy stuff to clear out what they don’t need. And surprisingly during my visits to them I saw they really tried to get rid of some. My parents’ house was always impeccably clean, but like you said it’s what’s in the closets or kitchen cupboards that not used that’s the problem. They got through most of their excess stuff. My mother tried to convince me to take her kitchen “collection” with me overseas it’s just not practical sometimes to my regret because she had nice dining stuff that she only uses when we had guests which became far in between as they grew older and their friends and family also grew older and moved on.
Turning this to my situation, I feel the same as you do, I don’t want to end have having to let other people deal with my mess when I pass. It will,not be first to my children who has their own worries to bear. The most I could do is make the process easier for them.
- don’t buy things you think it’s good no have but will only use once in a blue moon if ever
- donate share dispose things that has been outgrown, not practical to use, bought “by mistake” so that others may still use and enjoy them
- embrace a minimalist approach, not clinically minimalistic, but practical minimalism
- regularly do an annual spring clean
- buy what is needed but dispose one or maybe even two that’s not needed or useful
- enjoy the things that you bought, don’t save them for the visitors or guests
- keep stuff organized so that we don’t keep on buying the same thing 5x over
- save and buy quality stuff that can last for years, don’t buy gimmicky stuff
- don’t buy stuff in the hope you will pass them on to your kids, times are changing faster than we could spell change, kids have their own preferences. Have an open discussion with them bout how they feel about this issue
- keep memories not stuff, it’s ok to save a few items that will help honor your love ones, but not all of them
Great tips! 🌟
Yes! These are all great tips. And the fact that we are learning from our parents so we do not perpetuate the problem is grounds for celebrating!
Thank you for watching and for sharing. 💕
I love the perspective. While yes it’s about not leaving a mess to burden others, but about keeping a house organized, and both mouse and spider-free!
@blondek767 Thank you for watching 💕. Yes! I know there are some who will disagree with your statement, but I am here for it! 💓💕
But but but, I have pet jumping spiders….🕷️Also had 3 female pet mice too, inherited from my niece who decided she didn’t want them anymore. But yeah I see your point. 👍🏻😉
@charlottesmom pets are welcome. It's the wild, disease-carrying ones, we don't want. 😉
That is interesting, it is amazing how much stuff we accumulate over time.
Thank you for watching. It is amazing how much we accumulate and do not fully understand how much until someone else has to organize it.
Nice topic. I have never heard of this before. Great idea to keep in the back of mind. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for watching 💕. I think you and I are from the same era...it's decluttering 😉
New sub here. I would really just like to thank you for helping your father in-law to get back home from the facility and be where he wanted to be! So many times people see elderly folks struggling and become super judgemental about the situation. You saw their struggle and said, "How can I help you?" God bless you for this and thank you for reminding us that you can do something to help your elderly relatives while they're still alive and vastly improve the quality of their life now. ❤🙏
Thank you for watching and for your sweet comment. 💕
I agree with you. So many people dismiss the elderly, which will fall back on them when they get older because they are teaching their children not to care. I hope my family stories will help break that cycle. 🙏🏾
Thank you Vicki. I am grateful for your lesson.
Thank you so much for watching 💕. I'm glad it was helpful for you.
i've been trying to do a low-key version of this for a couple of years now. Thanks for making this video; it's motivating me to keep going♥️
Thanks for watching 💕.
We were also more low-key about it until this incident. We're not militant because a house should also feel like a home. 😉
Thank you for sharing your story. It really resonated with me.
I've had some similar experiences that left me very passionate about making my passing or incapacitation as smooth as possible for my loved ones. Some of those were seeing that it doesn't always come late in life. Several friends lost their spouses in their 40's. Some swiftly; others after long battles that took a toll. A good friend brought his 15-year-old daughter home in a wheelchair. I've seen the strain on the family, the frustrations and anger, then hating themselves for feeling those feelings. I never want my family to go through that self-hatred over caring for me or dealing with my stuff.
I've also seen the in-fighting that can turn brothers and sisters into enemies when someone passes without a clear will, and worse, someone who becomes incapacitated in the hospital without an advance directive / living will, and now family is fighting over what they sincerely believe you would want.
The message of this video is so very important.
Whether you're in your 80's or your 20's, the time to make sure your home, your stuff, and your finances/legal estate are squared away is now. It needs to happen sooner or later for all of us. Far easier now then after.
It doesn't have to be an obsession or dark weight you carry. Do it now, and then enjoy the peace it brings. A little checkup once a year or if something big changes, and then enjoy living.
Thanks again. Great video.
@sethwilliamson Thank you for watching and for sharing your reasons for this is important to you. So many people put it off because they think it is a morbid topic, but it really is not.
I hope others can see it like you do. 💓
It was a big job but glad we down sized and now travel continuously. Good points.
Sounds like you are off an awesome adventure! Thank you for watching 💕.
Such a thoughtful video! Thank you for sharing your personal experience in the hope of helping others. It is amazing how much we can accumulate over time. I think I have always been a bit of a purging type person. However it was when I was hit with a health issue where I really did not know if I would see the next day that I looked into Swedish death cleaning, and it really resonated with me. I did not want my daughter or husband to have to deal with the burden of dealing with my "stuff." Gratefully my health issue went into remission, but I have kept going with decluttering, and have not looked back. I do not miss anything I have cleared out, and having that extra breathing space is very calming! 💐
Thank you so much for watching and for sharing your story. I truly believe it will help others, as sometimes it helps to see the benefits or issues faced by others.
I am glad to know your health issue is in remission. 💕
Wow. I watched your whole video. Left a huge comment and now it’s no where to be seen?
Long story short. Bless you for being a big part of your in laws clean out and your father n law coming around to a healthier person because of all you cleared out and organized.
Unfortunately, that had also happened to me, and this brain can never remember exactly what I wrote. 😂
Organizing those 'tetris' closets and getting rid of 'hidden' clutter that was preventing them from actually living made a HUGE difference.
So happy to hear your FIL started getting better right away when he came home to decluttered environment ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
@@magpiesmith971 Thank you for watching! He was so happy to be home! And it definitely boosted his mood. 💕
That’s a lot to clean omg 😱. Thank you for this because I feel good that I love to declutter.
Your husband is so lucky to have a wife like you who helped him with his parents.
People don’t like facilities and I am happy you guys bring him home. He was missing home 😊.
@kimberlygibson3 He started crying when we carried him into the house and sat him on his favorite spot on the couch. He needed to be home, even if the doctor didn't think that he was ready to be discharged to home.
Thank you for watching! 💕
@@AgingOnYourTerms that’s the thing older people just want to be in a space they are comfortable in which is where they live.
@@kimberlygibson3 I think this is true for any age when it comes to being in a hospital. No one wants to be there. They all want to go home. 😉💕
Very informative. I have been death cleaning for about 2 yrs. It's really hard to do, but it must be done.
@rachelpalumbo8135 yes, it's very hard to do. Take it one drawer at a time. 💕
Wow, that's a lot, both the sorting out your in-laws house and the stuff!!! Important info on cognitive decline too, it manifests in so many different ways. I love this and the reframe around WHY we're decluttering and getting rid of stuff. We had to go through and get rid of so much when we moved to FL and it was so freeing. The unfortunate thing is how fast these things start to accumulate again, thanks for this, Vicki, I needed to hear it! I've never heard of the Swedish Death Cleaning either💕🥰
@starchyshauna I trying to find another way to say 'declutter' and that popped up. I was surprised that I had never heard it before.
Now we snoop everywhere because we were fooled before.
It is a struggle to keep up, and also not to overconsume. We downsized to a house half the size of our previous home, and we also have had some moments of backtracking. But it's easier to notice with less house. 😂
The compassionate and articulate way you have of sharing this importantant information is wonderful. Thank you, Vicki!
Thank you so much for watching and for your kind comment. 😊💕
Good points.
I have been decluttering since 2021, it’s really a lot of work.😮
@sct4040 Yes , it's. I am not striving to 'get it done', just to keep doing it, so there is less stuff over time. 😉
Thank you for watching 💕 .
Oh, this is so good! So timely. My husband and I are currently going through our entire house. I keep saying to him if you haven’t looked at it in a year we’re getting rid of it ha ha 🎉 this video made me think a little harder about organizing things. We still have some of the kids stuff that is keepsakes. I think it would be a benefit just to get keepsake bins one for each member of the family and if it doesn’t go in that keepsake bin for that specific person and it’s not a use it’s gone. I can see why this video is blowing up. Thank you for sharing your story
@KarenWilsonOnline Thank you for watching and for sharing your idea of creating a keepsake bin for each person. There is no having to hunt down each item. Love it! 💕🤗
Ohh Vicki, you have brought me back to reality after still feeling my holiday high…
My mum is a like hoarder, kind of. I’ve spent a week every two years hiring a huge skip bin to clear stuff out.
I actually filmed this last year to make a video one day.
This Swedish clearing is awesome. Make so much sense. Great video
@xploradora8099 Your Mom sounds like my mother-in-law. Not quite a hoarder.
I was a 'declutterer' until I learned about 'Swedish Death Cleaning'. 😉
Thanks for watching and sharing your experience. 💓
this is very sobering! I've cleaned out my Granny's house while grieving (she was a pack rat) and I've also witnessed my Husband's Great-Grandma get rid of everything while she was alive and only live with a small but minimized bedroom of things. the latter was much easier to deal with while grieving. I never thought of bringing someone to the house that needs unplanned care. I have been a minimalist for 10 years but in the past year I have let things fall to the wayside and have accumulated a lot more. I want to be ready for whatever life has in store and not have possessions holding me back from anything.
@@AngelissimaASMR Thank you for watching and for sharing your story. It's so hard to deal with 'extra' stuff while you're trying to grieve. How awesome that Great-Grandma had the foresight to minimalist. 💕
I just stumbled upon you, and I am so impressed. Your explanations, descriptions, your voice, are all so easy to hear and understand. I've subscribed :)
Thank you so much for watching and subscribing. 💕🤗
I hope my family stories will help others.
Interesting story Vicki. Clutter makes me nervous, and I prefer a clean environment.
We thought their home was organized until we opened the closet doors 😲. It's amazing how cognitive disorders can creep in and disrupt everything. 😢
This is my favorite video ive seen of yours...well at least equal with the cruise😂. I was being very resistant to the idea of cleaning for the kids. I've cleaned up their messes for years so i figured payback time, right? 🤣🤣 but your story has convinced me to do a hoarder cleanse for the right reasons!❤
@WildHare-fb7ry what we went through definitely puts a different perspective on it. It benefits us, too.
Thank you for watching and for your sweet comment. 💕🤗
Woot woot!! Nice response!! I love this video! I thought it was gonna do great the minute I watched it!!👏👏👏
Thank you! Your support means the world to me. ❤️🤗
This is very good advice. Thank you for sharing your story!
@@laurahicks8084 Thank you for watching 💕.
I’ve been doing this for 2 years and am not done. ❤❤
I am also finding it to be a long process. Thank you for watching and sharing that perspective to help others level set their expectations. 💕
Thank you so much for this Vickie! You've given me a lot to think about, for my mom and for me too!
This experience with my in-laws opened my eyes to all of the things I need to do now. Thank you for watching! 💕
Very moving story. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.
@@MeiLee-t2v Thank you so much for watching. 💕🤗
I love this book and philosophy. I have been following her method for years. Thank you for sharing this ❤
All of this time, I just thought we were decluttering. I had no idea about this concept. 😊
There used to be a Vietnamese Buddhist meditation on death. I read about it in a book by Thich Nhat Hanh. The meditation was done by couples who were about to get married.
Apparently, it had the effect of making them appreciate their marriage much more because they knew it would not last forever.
@MeiLee-t2v Thank you for sharing that. I will look it up.
Brilliantly said, thank you
Thank you so much for watching and for your kind comment. 🤗💕
An important message. ♥
Thank you for watching 💕
Thank🫂YOU for posting.
Thank you for watching 💕🤗
Thank-you. I'm living through this now. My 91 year old father is home and the house is organized except for the garage. My house is a different story. I worry about what I'm leaving for my nephews. I need to figure out how to tackle this.
Thank you for watching and sharing your story. The best way to tackle it is SLOWLY. Start with something small like one drawer or one side of a cabinet. Don't try to do too much at one time because it will become overwhelming.
You can do it. 💕
Hello, i am a new subscriber to your channel. i love your content!! ❤powerful story, thanks for sharing ❤
Thank you so much for watching and for subscribing! 😊🤗
@AgingOnYourTerms ❤️
Thanks for sharing your experience 💞
Thank you for watching. 💕
Very nice and clear video, thank you
@@EsraTR-so5oh Thank you for watching. I hope my family stories were helpful. 💕
Really interesting! I have to say, although you've probably been told 100 times, you have beautiful hands!
Thank you so much for watching and for the compliment 😊💕
Really enjoyable my Friend! Very useful information ! Please stay connected! 🕊
Thank you for watching! 💕
Hugs. What a situation!
Thank you for watching! 🤗
Great post. Thank you for sharing. Subscribed ❤
Thank you for watching and subscribing 💓
THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO!!
Thank you for watching! 💕 I'm glad you found it helpful. 🤗
Great video my friend! 🤍🤍
Thank you for watching 💕💕
This sounds very familiar...we "got to" do this for my paternal grandparents. Ugh, it was definitely one of those scenarios that they could have had the family come together (maybe in shifts) to deal with 10/15 years prior. But no, everything is last minute. At that age, they were mid 80s, they also had those collections of receipts and popsicle sticks and random stuff. For some reason, they had very old records but they no longer had a record player. There were also all those random tchotchkies that are fragile and people keep around for no reason...that's really the first thing that can go. Anyways, i also have the Swedish Death Cleaning book and will hopefully starts working on that in small increments. What I find so utterly sad and frustrating is the similarities of cognitive decline and ADHD...i too have bought sometimes three of the same thing because it was "out of sight, out of mind" and I'm also very incapable of working through steps in organization the way that it's difficult for old people. I think eventually, my "ADHD tax" is going to be having to hire one of those decluttering/organizing/cleaning agencies. Also, great video to remind people of this larger issue of not being that person who leaves so much work for the loved ones.
@SuperAH1985 Thank you for watching and sharing your experience.
Organization is already hard for most people, but when you add an illness (physical or neurological) on top of it, it makes even small tasks seem bigger.
I've listed 2 channels below, run by my friend Lonna, who is a Psychiatric RN, who also has ADHD.
The Lonna RaeDHD channel provides tips and strategies to help manage and live with ADHD.
youtube.com/@lonnaraedhd?si=XrnUSTPY1fDy9xCA
The Simply Lane channel offers quick cleaning and decluttering tips.
youtube.com/@simply_lane?si=9Wp1RNyAweAN19aA
I am hopegul these channels will provide you with some tips and strategies to help you along the way.
But please, take this one step at a time. Do not push yourself because your health is number one. 💕
@@AgingOnYourTerms Thank you so very much for those resources! I appreciate your "solutions oriented" mindset. That can be so helpful to anyone who wonders where to start. I'll give those channels a watch.
Thank you again and keep spreading your compassionate life skills.
@@SuperAH1985 It was my pleasure. ❤️
Yup...know this one well. Had to make at least three trips to NM to pick up Mom's miscellaneous aka stuff. Vehicle stuffed with trash bags. Will never forget the bank statement from the 90's
Yes! I didn't reveal everything we found...but the tax returns back to the first one for each of them, plus every canceled check since my father-in-law opened the checking account. 🙃
omg - you are amazing 🙂
Thank you so much for watching and for your kind comment. 💕🤗
The more you described the situation and the behaviour of your in-laws, the more it was like listening to my own story! Receipts from 40 years ago! Multiples of everything! Just plain junk that should have been thrown out years ago!
@@AthomewithKaren yes. There was so much more than I listed. 😢
Great video my friend, I'm not so often here but I want to say hello 🤍🤍🤗
Hi Friend! Thank you for watching 💕.
wow, thats nice of you. im not doing ANY of this for my mom #selforphan
No judgement here. Everyone has their reasons for doing, or not doing. My hope is that you will do this for yourself so your, or your loved ones, are not put in this situation when you may need help in the future.
I've spent so much time away from my home working like a maniac. Now I intend on enjoying my home and it's contents because it is my happiness. I will have lists on things that need to be donated but I'm not going to agonize over the process. If my family has to deal with the bulk of my home and it's belongings so be it. It's all part of the process!
@lark6spur that is definitely your prerogative. But after dealing with this with multiple family members, I will not subject my relatives to the same pain of having to deal with my crap while trying to grieve.
And I did not say I wasn't living in comfort. Being surrounded by receipts, broken items, things you don't use or need, and not being able to safely get to the things you need, is not joyful.
@@lark6spur sadly your family may be so overcome with grief at your passing that they just get a dumpster and unload it all into that (mind you that is more to happen if your house is crammed), or hire someone who never knew you to do it. No one is saying that we need to get rid of the things we truly enjoy and love, just to consider what is stuffed away and not truly being valued and possibly decide you may never use “whatever” in your lifetime so clean the space…empty space is not a bad thing. I actually enjoy going through closets and drawers - and have found things that bring good memories and the bad memories things I personally get rid of. I’ve also come to realize what is the stuff I keep for my fantasy life (now too old to live out in the country alone) that I have decided to pass on to others in support of their hopes and dreams. I’d like to suggest that you share your stories of items that have meaning maybe even a journal and include photos of those items and show your love for family by relieving this future burden of the “stuff that has no meaning”. Relationships mean more than belongings and a fire can destroy it all in minutes. God bless you with peace. ❤️
“Cognitive decline is so much more than memory loss” Vicki THIS is what we need to focus on. Somehow
So many people just get frustrated. And I admit we started off frustrated until we dug in to see what was wrong with them. The day my mother-in-law argued with that food never expires if it's in the refrigerator, it was a light bulb moment for me that she was trying to convince me not to throw out the science experiments that no longer looked like food.
@@AgingOnYourTerms it’s so true… cognitive decline is soooooo much MoRE! I love your videos! You are so professional and knowledgeable!
Thank you. 😊
I am always decluttering because I don't want to do this to my kids...
Yes! Getting my in-law's home ready was a wake-up call for us to stepup our decluttering.
The reality is that most of peoples possessions will end up at the dump after they pass away
@bevanbuckwheatshea5520 very true! Thank you for watching. 💕
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Thank you for watching 💕
Great video and a valid reason to purge now!
Thank you for watching! 💕
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Thank you for watching 💕.