Plastic Burger King cup filled with red wine, sitting in a plastic lawn chair, cigarette in one hand, phone in the other. Ready for Tim Dillon. Life in the big city.
Shit, I just made a huge pan of cookies. I'd trade you half of 'em for one ciggy. Haven't had one in years, but every once in a while I'll blast one. I have Chianti, so I'll just get drunk and eat cookies.
"Some people think it was six million, but here at Bud Light we haven't seen the numbers. We're simply saying that history's never what any one person thinks." Laughed out loud so many times.
Watching from the 8 parallel universes down from y'all. This show is great, quick question why is yalls universe allowing 997787678866997799 to happen soon and where are the people going to go.
"We've gotten to a point where even the dogs want to know what's going on with these freaks taking them everywhere. Even the dogs are like, why am I on a plane?"
At budlight we believe in American traditional values like not taking your dogs in restaurants and leaving them outside to attack minorities entering the restaurants..... Bud light
Just did my first catering job, everything went niiiiice. Got home after a few brews, smoked a nicely rolled joint, and saw Timmy D uploaded. I haven’t had an amazing day like this in a long long time.I appreciate you 🫡
..ha i remember a guy like him, his only requirement was that we had to have a piece of paper and pencil on the desk incase the principal was coming down the hall and we had to 'pretend' like we were doing 'something'.. if he caught you smoking in the bathroom, he would bum a smoke and smoke with you.. i still remember he smoked camel wides
I'm a Jew and almost spit the food out of my mouth while laughing when he made up the Bud Light commercial being skeptical of 6 million Jews dying: "Bud Light....make up your own number."
The reason I love this show is how Tim can transition from hilarious rants to describing incredibly detailed, painful thoughts and stories that show his realness and background. No matter how expensive his glasses are or the wealth he is around and experiences, Tim always reveals himself as a relatable, funny guy that many people would love to hangout with or consider a friend.
The dog bit was so fantastic. My workplace is "dog friendly" and the cowoeker who works in the same office as I do brings his dog every day. The dog doesn't bother me at all but we work in a cramped office and it just ends up smelling like dog every day. Another guy works general warehouse and it just seems like a liability for a dog to be around forklifts and heavy objects.
I'd sue for a hostile work environment and emotional distress. You don't even have to complain or warn them. As you didn't feel your career would be safe to. It doesn't matter if it's a Pug or a Chihuahua.... you can sue; because the rights of others don't supercede yours, as well. Say you're terrified of dogs, and or that your Muslim.
Tim you’re spot on with the dogs situation! I went to a mall and I thought I walked in a pet store dogs everywhere one was not even on a leash running around and harassing people it’s very annoying for other people to impose their pets on others, take them to a park or for a walk but c’mom supermarket, restaurant, mall, hotel, plane it’s getting out of control. I like to enjoy a meal outdoors without a dog barking and shedding hair next to me. Thank you
You think the cats were ready for what happened? Have some understanding and sympathy bud, how else am I going to get a nice well-made medium rare steak for a good price now that Horses is closed?!
Hit the nail on the head regarding the service animal piece. Ppl out here just lying about their animals and have the audacity to complain when they get shutdown by the employees who ask for docs.
he’s right about people using dogs as surrogates for meaningful human relationships. it’s really sad and likely is a symptom of something truly vital being deeply damaged.
@@cecilyerker its not bad to have a dog best friend. id consider myself in that category. but when people treat their animals like they are human children, or use them as an emotional crutch, then it starts getting into pathological territory. and you can see this everywhere. dogs are great. i love all animals in fact. but they are not human beings and they cant replace human relationships. they aren’t children. that’s demented.
Just got home from a night of drinking and took my sleeping pills can’t wait to feel the sense of accomplishment when I make it to the end of this session.
The noble words of Tim Dillon are so comforting to me I’m watching this while relaxing in bed w a dog I’m babysitting and leftovers heating up in the kitchen. Thank you for the life lessons you give that we all need to cherish and live by
I live 10 mins from dr. Roxy. It’s in Powell Ohio. Very upscale area. She botched soooo many people. Caused bowels to be perforated from stomach lipo, she caused a breast cancer survivor to go into septic shock from her botched breast augmentation, and caused another person to have necrosis in their bbl
I listened to the nugget story while having my morning coffee today. Neighbors could hear me laughing. Omg I’m still picturing the mom jamming a hot nugget on the kid.😂😂
"But if you look at the shapes of peoples skulls.....they're different". ---------should have gotten a way bigger laugh from the producer... my god that was funny
My knife fight shirt I bought from Tim in November for 55 dollars ripped in half. It was worn twice and washed once. This man’s commitment to being a low-level huckster, even as he makes millions, is truly inspiring.
I think we’re drunk on Monday, Chrisy chaos, Hey babe and This past weekend, on Tuesday, Mat and Shane’s secret podcast whenever they post once a week and Tim Dillon on Saturday! ❤️❤️❤️🇺🇸
Another lecture at Tim Dillon University. This is type of college education we deserve.
TDU the only college where you get into a sub prime mortgage with wells Fargo, and student debt for a degree that makes fake business fun.
I just graduated with my Masters in Fake Business Adminstration today from TDU
It's what I assume people want when they screech that they deserve free education while foaming at the mouth
Yaas.
You should feel bad for saying "we deserve" in your comments.
Im going to quote Tim Dillon when im arrested for fraud.
It's all fake business
Just hire him as your African American trans lawyer
cops will say "who"????????????????????????
who? they will say...is he matt dilons brother? from something about mary...cops ARE OLD AND BUSY>>>THEY DONT WATCH youtube 24--7
"your honor, that's just life in the big city for ya"
Plastic Burger King cup filled with red wine, sitting in a plastic lawn chair, cigarette in one hand, phone in the other.
Ready for Tim Dillon.
Life in the big city.
this isnt' 2019 anymore...that is 4 years old....move on...
Ignore the last reply, you're peak Tim Dillon mode right now, enjoy
Our collective spirit animal manifested
Shit, I just made a huge pan of cookies. I'd trade you half of 'em for one ciggy. Haven't had one in years, but every once in a while I'll blast one.
I have Chianti, so I'll just get drunk and eat cookies.
Facts ignore the first comment u are speaking for all of our spirit animals.
Tim practices a level of self love & body positivity that Lizzo could only dream of possessing.
That means having a mature enough mental capacity she severely lacks
lizzo has her whistle.
@@indoorgangster The Obesity Oboe
@@jmua8450 😅omg. Ribs broken from laughter, that was so naughty!😆
when i was fat i was a hot fatty, when i was skinny i was a hot skinny, now im a hot dad bod, fuck'em
That Budlight bit is classic Tim brilliance! This whole episode was FIRE 🔥 😂
Tim’s happy face while he’s watching the fight at Disney World is the cutest thing ever! “I like to hear the screams.” 🤣🤣🤣
"Some people think it was six million, but here at Bud Light we haven't seen the numbers. We're simply saying that history's never what any one person thinks." Laughed out loud so many times.
😂😂😂
An epic stream of consciousness ad, delivered in a creepily hushed southern accent. Love you, Tim 😂
that whole bit had me crying with laughter .. so great.
Epic
"600 or 6 million, it's still a tragedy" -Adam Eget
Story just broke that it was actually Megan and Harry chasing down a reporter in their car. We wish them well!
Too fked up to have any idea if this is a joke and its ripping me apart
👏🏼😂
Megan and Harry where conducting Fake journalism.
🏌️
I'll just assume that's not true but I have no confidence in either possibility.
The bud light bit starts @ 1:02:21
You're welcome 🤣👍
An all-time great 6 minutes 😂.
@@lucacerasuolo6606 thanks 😊
I'm currently lmao
I told my friends a few nights ago that people are replacing Personalities with Activism for identity. This was spot on, Tim.
Always so good to see this guy do his thing. I look forward to his podcast every week,
Yup. I’ve given up on life too.
@@ContentRemoved___I think the most sane have.
@@ContentRemoved___ A long long time ago my friend.
Same. I'm a listener
Life in the big city
Tim Dillon is a national treasure
The last 6 minutes (the reimagined Bud Light ads) are phenomenal 😂.
national? global.
Writing from Bhutan - international
Watching from the 8 parallel universes down from y'all. This show is great, quick question why is yalls universe allowing
997787678866997799 to happen soon and where are the people going to go.
Yes Joe Rogan already said that think of an original compliment Tim would appreciate it!
"We've gotten to a point where even the dogs want to know what's going on with these freaks taking them everywhere. Even the dogs are like, why am I on a plane?"
"life in the big city"
-Dog probably
At budlight we believe in American traditional values like not taking your dogs in restaurants and leaving them outside to attack minorities entering the restaurants..... Bud light
Just did my first catering job, everything went niiiiice. Got home after a few brews, smoked a nicely rolled joint, and saw Timmy D uploaded. I haven’t had an amazing day like this in a long long time.I appreciate you 🫡
Sounds good brotha 👍
Congrats on the job. Everyone deserves a joint after a long day of work.
What are you catering?
@@jonnygranville281 bologna and cheese
Life is good.~:>
Tim Dillon is like that School Teacher we actually enjoyed listening to!
..ha i remember a guy like him, his only requirement was that we had to have a piece of paper and pencil on the desk incase the principal was coming down the hall and we had to 'pretend' like we were doing 'something'..
if he caught you smoking in the bathroom, he would bum a smoke and smoke with you.. i still remember he smoked camel wides
@@rogerwilco1777every school has at least one teacher the burnouts can have a free period w. i miss my french teacher bro was cool
*“You better stay the fuck out of the Beverly Hills Hotel.”*
-Tim Dillon
"bud light. find your own number" had me in tears
I'm a Jew and almost spit the food out of my mouth while laughing when he made up the Bud Light commercial being skeptical of 6 million Jews dying: "Bud Light....make up your own number."
If someone somewhere doesn't make a series of bud light commercials from all these, then the internet is over.
he kept the best for last. savage.
😂 Agree…Tim was on fire this episode
@Wonkelton same
6mill seems kinda high when you do the math. 6 million through a few a wooden doors?
Dianas driver was 3 x over the legal limit. No one mentions this level of intoxication ever.
And she wasn't wearing a seat belt, same way Megan Smollet and crew weren't wearing seat belts.🙄
as tim's only female asian fan, i appreciate every slop served ❤
Tim doesn't have any female asian fans. Fake business.
You’re worth 1000 of us
I love how Tim is a gentle and caring soul while simultaneously being a savage
“Bud Light…find your own number.”
This is some hot tea about the Markles. Keep it coming Tim!
I'm so glad he said something about people bringing dogs everywhere!
Me toooooooooooooooo
I am sick and tired of people expecting us to just be fine with their dogs
I don’t push my shit on you
Don’t do it
The reason I love this show is how Tim can transition from hilarious rants to describing incredibly detailed, painful thoughts and stories that show his realness and background. No matter how expensive his glasses are or the wealth he is around and experiences, Tim always reveals himself as a relatable, funny guy that many people would love to hangout with or consider a friend.
“There’s a dignity in just not trying to force an animal to be your bf, or gf, or child” Tim Dillon
Thank you for this week’s Patreon episode Tim, one of my all time favorites
Damnn
@@inyourgranmaass3605go to kemono and steal it like the cool kids!
"All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone"
- Blaise Pascal, Pensées
"Sometimes you dont' think it be like it is but it do.
@@xbabu142x«You know what I'm saying?»
The dog bit was so fantastic. My workplace is "dog friendly" and the cowoeker who works in the same office as I do brings his dog every day. The dog doesn't bother me at all but we work in a cramped office and it just ends up smelling like dog every day. Another guy works general warehouse and it just seems like a liability for a dog to be around forklifts and heavy objects.
Having a dog in the office would be hell.
I'd sue for a hostile work environment and emotional distress.
You don't even have to complain or warn them. As you didn't feel your career would be safe to.
It doesn't matter if it's a Pug or a Chihuahua.... you can sue; because the rights of others don't supercede yours, as well.
Say you're terrified of dogs, and or that your Muslim.
@@Will_Smith_Slapping_Xi_Jinping Love that
As soon as Markle came up I knew this was going to be a complete banger
1:02:22 I have never laughed harder in my entire life than the crazy bud light commercials that Tim was coming up with
That Bud Light skit at the end was a the cherry on top of this podcast.
Tim you’re spot on with the dogs situation! I went to a mall and I thought I walked in a pet store dogs everywhere one was not even on a leash running around and harassing people it’s very annoying for other people to impose their pets on others, take them to a park or for a walk but c’mom supermarket, restaurant, mall, hotel, plane it’s getting out of control. I like to enjoy a meal outdoors without a dog barking and shedding hair next to me. Thank you
Dogs that don’t listen to commands or behave well should be left at home, but other than that this is America buddy, don’t like it leave.
@@DaWAFFLES1 don’t impose your pets on other people that’s all I’m saying
@@DaWAFFLES1 you sound like the type of person who spikes up the back of their hair and owns an airbnb property with oddly shaped chairs
Those Bud Light commercials by Tim are killing me. He’s on a roll.
I was not ready 😂 when he started talking about the cats 😂🐱
You think the cats were ready for what happened? Have some understanding and sympathy bud, how else am I going to get a nice well-made medium rare steak for a good price now that Horses is closed?!
@@xbabu142x try cat, might taste good
Hit the nail on the head regarding the service animal piece. Ppl out here just lying about their animals and have the audacity to complain when they get shutdown by the employees who ask for docs.
Tim should have a Judge Judy type tv show.
He does! What do you think you're watching? Too bad about the bailiff though.
Judge Mo Dollas
The bud light finale had me dying 🤣🤣
One of the best black performance artists out there.
Just finished the whole episode. It was your best yet!!
lol
Watched it on that 32.5x speed huh? Did he mention Delia's Rolling stone article by chance? 😂
@@CoreyHart13 my favorite part was when the rolling stone article stole Tim’s glasses and they broke.
Nah his Gates of Hell episode is GOAT'd, nothing will ever come close
@@user-mq1up2fw4r you’re getting locked in a cage with brittney for this comment. Godspeed.
The look of joy on Tim’s face when watching the Disney fight gives me more energy than coffee.
I'm really fat and it's awful. Being "fat positive" or whatever is like being cancer positive
That's next
Tim has never had a better rant then his dog rant. 100000000000 agree.
I so freaking look forward to the drop every week and I’m never disappointed. Tim Dillon is a genius and his take is always respectable. F yeah bro
he’s right about people using dogs as surrogates for meaningful human relationships. it’s really sad and likely is a symptom of something truly vital being deeply damaged.
If people’s abilities to have meaningful relationships with other humans is damaged by humans, then having a dog as your best friend makes sense
@@cecilyerker its not bad to have a dog best friend. id consider myself in that category. but when people treat their animals like they are human children, or use them as an emotional crutch, then it starts getting into pathological territory. and you can see this everywhere. dogs are great. i love all animals in fact. but they are not human beings and they cant replace human relationships. they aren’t children. that’s demented.
@@areyoutheregoditsmedave but BennyBoi the cat is my baby
Harry: "What do we do now, love?"
Megan: "I'm calling the Jesse Smolett hotline............."
The bud light bit broke me. Non stop laughter. God I love Tim Dillon.
Just got home from a night of drinking and took my sleeping pills can’t wait to feel the sense of accomplishment when I make it to the end of this session.
00:47 I rolled my head back and laughed toward the ceiling. Absolutely hilarious.
Perfect timing Tim! Thanks me and my girl love watching ya religiously.
Don’t take a gal that gets down with Timmy D for granted🤙
Tim's evil laugh before his comments on the Disney story is golden
Loved the dog rant. Thanks Tim
Greatest ending to a podcast of all time I’m in tears 😂😂😂
I could listen to Tim all day every day!! Much Love!
The noble words of Tim Dillon are so comforting to me I’m watching this while relaxing in bed w a dog I’m babysitting and leftovers heating up in the kitchen. Thank you for the life lessons you give that we all need to cherish and live by
Tim Dillon making fun of all the Tim Diillons he sees at Disney World is the most Tim Dillon thing
“Bud Light…stick with your own.”
i cried for the last 25 min Tim Dillon you did it again.
She brought the paps with her per Hertz CEO. Yep; you're right, I just heard you lol. GREAT SHOW! Thanks for speaking the truth. It's refreshing
1:04:10 nothing brings me more joy than seeing Tim crack hard from his own joke😂😂😂😂😂😂💖
Tim teaches a master class in sass every episode.
Find your own number..lol😂
If you keep ‘em fat and unhealthy, you keep ‘em medicated. Fat phobia: brought to you by your friends at big pharma
There it is folks. Life in the big city.
Those bud light reads were gold 😂
I live 10 mins from dr. Roxy. It’s in Powell Ohio. Very upscale area. She botched soooo many people. Caused bowels to be perforated from stomach lipo, she caused a breast cancer survivor to go into septic shock from her botched breast augmentation, and caused another person to have necrosis in their bbl
thank god for the 2008 s&l collapse for giving us the Tim Dillon Show
😂perfect!
There's dignity in Tim ranting all alone, you rock man.
The bud light bit at the end is one of the funniest bits I've ever heard. This episode is a 10/10
41:19 the kids are fighting the parents in the video too lmao.
Men I come running every time I get the notification of a new video 😂Love the nugget story the other day 🤣
The nugget story had me hysterical! 😂
I listened to the nugget story while having my morning coffee today. Neighbors could hear me laughing. Omg I’m still picturing the mom jamming a hot nugget on the kid.😂😂
Tim is right: Being alone is fucking awesome. Fewer people, fewer problems.
Getting a service dog is as legit as getting a prescription for marijuana 😂
Or Oxy. Lmfao.
I have a service bunny lol
"But if you look at the shapes of peoples skulls.....they're different". ---------should have gotten a way bigger laugh from the producer... my god that was funny
The bud light segment had me howling 😂😂😂😂😂
We are doomed 😂
Officer Barbrady has really good energy today.
My knife fight shirt I bought from Tim in November for 55 dollars ripped in half. It was worn twice and washed once. This man’s commitment to being a low-level huckster, even as he makes millions, is truly inspiring.
You trusted someone with a Long Island accent. Lesson learned
Life in the big city
It's probably Ben's fault.
@@FinnegansCake every day I wish he would come back just so Tim could fire him in a rage again
“We wish them well” lol 😂
Budlight bit was hilarious 😂
I hope Tim clips the Budweiser ad reads. Solid gold!
If Alex Jones was a gay hipster.
if?
When the dimwit duo Mags and Hags reach Tim Dillon's desk, you know they are finished. 😂😂
Tim is essential to the American Story.
Tim, you have major scoop that I'd otherwise not know about ... love you for that!
I used to listen to Tim for his comedy... now it's the deep and philosophical views of humanity and our country that draw me in
All of the above!
Tim is the Brother we all want and do NOT deserve.
We have an elderly cat of 19 years that we love... this episode has solved a couple of problems for us
I think we’re drunk on Monday, Chrisy chaos, Hey babe and This past weekend, on Tuesday, Mat and Shane’s secret podcast whenever they post once a week and Tim Dillon on Saturday! ❤️❤️❤️🇺🇸
I’d also recommend whiskey ginger with Andre santino. Top tier comedy pod.
@@noahrichards7948 I forgot! I watch whiskey ginger and bad friends too 😂
Can't keep up anymore :D
Reminds me of my prom night. All my friends were out having fun, while I was at home choking the cat
Listening to Tim makes my life a little less painful!
Great show as always but can't take my eyes of those glasses everytime light shines on them
Give me an hour of continuous Bud Light slogans
*persistent knocking*
'Billy! What are you doing in the bathroom? Are you shaking the cat again!'
Bro I DIED at “it’s a tale as old as time” 😂😂😂
Our fearless leader is back
Tim's laugh at 1:04:12 is everything to me
"Every commemorative can of Bud Light will feature the happy merchant meme" OMFG 🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I would think that it would be physically impossible to be in a high speed chase in NYC during the day.
Unless on a movie set.
The craziest part is Boebert is an example of a politician accurately representing their constituents lol
She lives 30 minutes from me in town called rifle. Your assessment is accurate.
Just like AOC does
Saw you last night in Hersey. I was in tears. Great show.
Tims show goes by so fast
Could listen to this guy ramble all fkn day
No one is ever on on saturdays. Thank god tim.