Will Marriage Cure My Lust?

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 พ.ย. 2024
  • Ask Pastor John
    Episode: 1345
    Transcript: www.desiringgo...

ความคิดเห็น • 145

  • @JustKate43
    @JustKate43 5 ปีที่แล้ว +207

    Marriage won’t cure lust, Love cures it.
    - Love can wait. Lust has to have it now.
    - Love is selfless. Lust is selfish
    - Love develops. Lust destroys.
    - Love is of God. Lust is of the world.

    • @Kiddlekud
      @Kiddlekud 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Won’t cure it but helps avoid it.

    • @magdimeekhail7866
      @magdimeekhail7866 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      very wise words

    • @anrose8335
      @anrose8335 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Honey, lust and love are not that easily separated. Hormones can't wait, yes. But love by itself is passionless and dry.

    • @eoinMB3949
      @eoinMB3949 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@anrose8335 I disagree. Love, and I mean the real thing, that which comes first and foremost from God, is full of passion. Lust is a bottomless pit that only wants to gratify itself but never can because it's a trap. Love on the other hand doesn't seek to get anything from anyone, it looks to give and share and it's always satisfied.

    • @cooperian1499
      @cooperian1499 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      you all probably dont care but does any of you know a tool to get back into an instagram account??
      I was dumb forgot the login password. I would love any help you can offer me

  • @Kiddlekud
    @Kiddlekud 5 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    Pastor JP just basically told me to get married so I’m gonna start looking for a Godly woman. Pray for me guys!

    • @kathryncarter6143
      @kathryncarter6143 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I don't think that's exactly what he means

    • @monkaZETTA
      @monkaZETTA ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Lol

    • @kennethfok
      @kennethfok 17 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Ultimately, marriage does not cure your lustful desires. Only God can help you with that. One should deal with their lustful desires before entering into a marriage. Marriage is just a means of having a legal way to satisfy your sexual needs. But if you do not deal with your lustful desires, you will treat your wife like a porn star and hurt her. Sex between couples is not something that is meant to cause hurt to the other party. It is a pleasurable act that is enjoyed when two persons consent to partaking of such acts together. If you are filled with lust, chances are your wife is going to go through a lot of pain while having sex and she might even be forced to do it without feeling ready and comfortable. A person filled with lust will not be able to help his wife to be comfortable with being naked around himself or even to have sex. She needs to feel loved so that she will not feel so vulnerable while she spreads her legs apart to let you have sex with her. You are supposed to enjoy the moment with her, not consume her like a wild beast.

  • @kengy1991
    @kengy1991 5 ปีที่แล้ว +64

    The answer to this question is simple: No, marriage doesn't cure lust. Once you get married, it doesn't mean that you will never be tempted again. Take time now to work on yourself and your relationship with the Lord to combat sin whether married or single.

    • @gaelicxienna
      @gaelicxienna 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      True 💯👊🏼

    • @mattr.1887
      @mattr.1887 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You still have lust. That is what leads you to marriage in the first place.

    • @Luke_Rowlands
      @Luke_Rowlands ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Well at least u have someone, its much better than being alone and burning with lust , if it wasn’t then it wouldn’t be mentioned in the Bible

  • @abdielbarraza6193
    @abdielbarraza6193 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    That was good, I needed to hear that because everytime I start burning with lust I begin to feel guilty like I shouldn’t be feeling lust but rather I was designed as a human being to have those desires but instead of burning with lust I can acknowledge these desires and just hope and pray and wait for that wonderful moment when I unite with my future wife.

    • @gaelicxienna
      @gaelicxienna 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      True!💯👊🏼

    • @mattr.1887
      @mattr.1887 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Don't overthink it. "Lust" is normal, everyone feels it. Just treat women with respect - that's what counts. Christianity completely fails on this issue.

  • @pabloremonsellez
    @pabloremonsellez 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Great answer. As pastor John once said there has NEVER been a generation (society) that understands the reality of and God's purpose behind marriage , only regenerated born again people can do it.

    • @mattr.1887
      @mattr.1887 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ever read Germania by Tacitus? Back in the day, there were heathen tribes in Europe with no exposure to Christianity, and they practiced & valued marital fidelity.

  • @MichaellaSapphire
    @MichaellaSapphire 5 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    Wow. I've never even thought of comparing sex within marriage as a physical relief, like sleeping well to avoid being snappy and angry in the following day. Brilliant comparison.

  • @theadamsfamilyable
    @theadamsfamilyable 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This man truly has a gift from God!❤️👌

  • @unclevroomvroom
    @unclevroomvroom 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Much needed for many... Thank you. Did people in the comments section actually watch the video?

    • @Davewthm
      @Davewthm 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      No, they haven't and they won't. You know, some "Christians" forget there are many people struggling with topics like this, their "saint brain" will always have the answer.

    • @kevinw6814
      @kevinw6814 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I did. I needed this video/lesson. I'm dating/courting a good, God-fearing woman who I hope to marry, yet, I still struggle with masturbation and a strong sex drive. I've made huge progress in my fight, but it's still ongoing.

    • @timsharpe6652
      @timsharpe6652 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I did yep 😀

    • @sametsahin5024
      @sametsahin5024 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Turns out some people click on ask pastor john videos in order to pastor the audience themselves haha

  • @samuelmarte5384
    @samuelmarte5384 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Finally someone speaks about it.

  • @samuelaguilar9668
    @samuelaguilar9668 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    A good question. I am having the same battle. Thanks for the life of Pastor John Piper

  • @aolcom-nl9qb
    @aolcom-nl9qb 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    As long as we have our sinful fleash it's a journey of self control and offering your flesh to the Lord until eternity is relevant in a heavenly new bodies that don't have those urges at all.

  • @jacksonsaveddoulos5693
    @jacksonsaveddoulos5693 5 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Wow, PS John dripping that knowledge and wisdom on us.

    • @jacksonsaveddoulos5693
      @jacksonsaveddoulos5693 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @Austin Brown OF course I do. What about you?

    • @monkaZETTA
      @monkaZETTA ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Wrong. God dripping that knowledge and wisdom on us through Pastor John.

    • @jacksonsaveddoulos5693
      @jacksonsaveddoulos5693 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@monkaZETTA agreed SoliDeoGloria

  • @ravenbarker00
    @ravenbarker00 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Please, pray for me and my significant other. Thank you. ♥️

  • @TheBros2theend
    @TheBros2theend 5 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    Jesus Christ loves you God bless

    • @anrose8335
      @anrose8335 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I as a woman don't want JC to love me. I'd rather my husband love me and lust after me, which he does. ;)

    • @6.0hhh
      @6.0hhh 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@anrose8335 You are wicked and need JC to save you.

  • @JusticeBackstrom
    @JusticeBackstrom 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I would also say, in the passage Paul is speaking to unmarried couple, saying they should marry if they're tempted to sleep with each other.
    He is not saying you should find someone, and marry them to appease a pre-existing lust problem.
    Aside from thet, everything else Pastor John says checks out.

  • @GoogleUserGoogle1
    @GoogleUserGoogle1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Accountability app emailing screenshots to my wife has really helped me. Covenant Eyes or Truple on an android phone are both good.
    Malachi 2:15 Guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth.
    Proverbs 5:8 ESV - Keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house,

    • @jack_galt
      @jack_galt ปีที่แล้ว

      Your wife should not be your accountability partner.

    • @tromboneman4517
      @tromboneman4517 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Well ok then. That makes zero sense logically but ok.

    • @GoogleUserGoogle1
      @GoogleUserGoogle1 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@jack_galt Shes not. She just gets screenshots. I have a friend that i meet weekly for accountability

  • @kenlee83
    @kenlee83 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Absolutely right, Amen. So well explained. God bless you in Jesus mighty name. Thank you

  • @firingallcylinders2949
    @firingallcylinders2949 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I'm inbetween the problem of: I've never really had the desire to have kids or be tied down in general, but at the same time the idea of a life of celibacy sounds pretty tough. Sometimes I wish God would just remove my attraction to women so I could stop setting my mind on it.

    • @firingallcylinders2949
      @firingallcylinders2949 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@user-mi5xq8zj7u I've never had a desire to be a dad and I'm terrible with kids, but from what I've been taught and what I believe the Bible to say is that getting married and not having kids if you're able is wrong.

    • @tobiassanders3831
      @tobiassanders3831 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@firingallcylinders2949 yeah, it says in the passages Pastor John quotes that keeping yourself as free as possible is best for service to the Kingdom. Whether that be completely abstaining from marriage or just getting married and not having kids, it would seem like Paul's initial thought process hinged on what is best for your service to the Kingdom. At the end of the day, I doubt God would make you have kids if you wouldn't enjoy raising them.

    • @firingallcylinders2949
      @firingallcylinders2949 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@tobiassanders3831 That makes sense.

  • @urielmesenja1040
    @urielmesenja1040 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    My brother, the answer to your question is GOD.Marriage is a beautiful gift from Him, the joining of 2 people in love, do not cheapen it with your desire to lust as if its a band aid that exists for your lack of self control.To even approach this with "i should work on my purity instead" The answer is work on your relationship with God, draw near to Him without worrying about your sin.Shame and guilt can overshadow the Lords love and forgiveness for us and that in itself is disbelief. His mercy is infinitely greater than your sin, focus on being close to Him, that is where your power to overcome is.

    • @popertop
      @popertop 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      While I agree with you, specific resources devoted to this issue are available for people to really focus on a problem.
      12 step programs are a gift from God to sort through addiction issues, and they are usually emotional at their core. Our other urges are a layer(s) above where the problem lies.
      I've battled addiction to pornography for most of my life, and while I did get freedom through a Scripture-based program, starting the steps has really put things into view like I never saw before

    • @urielmesenja1040
      @urielmesenja1040 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@popertop A human can take a million steps in any direction. Unless its towards God they are taken in vain. Reading scripture, meditating and focusing on the promises of God are what will truly break the shackles of any addiction. When we tell ourselves over and over "i must not do this" the desire to do it increases. After we fail, the shame and guilt builds a wall in our hearts. My salvation cant even be compared to my sins, God loves me no less and my freedom is in that when i fail.

    • @urielmesenja1040
      @urielmesenja1040 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@popertop if these steps are helping you, then its Him who sent you there :) Continue with it. I simply fill my cup with as much of His Word as possible because i've learned nothing compares to the supernatural healing power of scripture.

  • @jag6138
    @jag6138 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Brilliantly explained

  • @eunicebediako4986
    @eunicebediako4986 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Sex doesn't Save a Marriage Either, God saves Marriage!

  • @williamorr9203
    @williamorr9203 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Absolutely not, it was there before your wife,the ladies are not only there for your selfish desires, ive got a companion and friend i wouldn't trade the Universe for. My wife.🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

    • @colesellers4529
      @colesellers4529 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Vessel 4 Him , not all forms of "selfishness" are wrong. And in doing so, you're over looking the point they made.
      For example God is selfish for his own glory. In fact it's the foundation for the gospel. We are self loving too, and Jesus even appeals to that: love others as yourself, fear God who destoys body and soul, come all who thirst, etc.

    • @lorenslorens1707
      @lorenslorens1707 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@colesellers4529 i don't see God as seeking glory is selfish, or any sort of relating to it. I think it's something He just wants but not selfishness, because we also get a part of it, while if you think of it as selfishness, He won't use us nor even create us, there are people who made themselves usless by being their glorifier, meanwhile God gets it by creating creatures with free will, so all the glory He gets is not anything He will always ask, but it's something He will get because He deserves it. But if He do ask, who are we to judge? I'd be more than happy to give it to Him 😍

  • @CounterAgenda1
    @CounterAgenda1 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Marriage does not cure lust. However, it does calm it. In other words marriage will permit you the ability to satisfy your passions. A good wife will understand this and it should be fun. Now I'm not married lol - so I am an expert. My consulting fees are upon request.

  • @HearGodsWord
    @HearGodsWord 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    No it won't cure it but it will help.

  • @tonyyusken3098
    @tonyyusken3098 ปีที่แล้ว

    All of these comments are spot on! I am a 59 year old male who has been in Celebrate Recovery and it's the accountability with other guys that encourages me to walk the straight and narrow in sexual purity. There for the grace of God go I!

  • @MrDetailer-gn9hy
    @MrDetailer-gn9hy ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Marriage may not solve the problem. You could end up in a sexless marriage which only make the situation worse.

  • @jasonwilliams8321
    @jasonwilliams8321 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    It cured mine.

  • @chanmonymiller1698
    @chanmonymiller1698 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    In short, no. Dan Boone, president of Trevecca Nazarene University wrote a wonderful article called "Marital Sex: Bliss or Legalized Lust?" I'll link it below. In short, godly and healthy sexuality is about more than not having sex outside of marriage. It is about the beautiful, passionate, unifying, self-giving bonding with and knowing of another person inside the covenant of marriage. Sex inside of marriage can still be impure and unholy if it is a self-serving using of the other person.
    Also, I think looking at the context of the Scripture is important. In the first part of 1 Corinthians 7, he is talking about Christian celibacy and that one should marry instead of burning with lust, even though it is better to stay single if possible. Later on in the chapter, we see Paul advise marriage again when talking about a man with the woman he is betrothed to if he cannot control himself. Mo Isom talks a little bit about this when she and her then boyfriend were dating. They were struggling with sexual integrity while dating, so they decided to pray and decide whether they should break up or get married. (Spoiler: they got married). If you want to hear the full story or to read more an healthy sexuality, check out her book! Sex, Jesus, and the Conversations the Church Forgot. It looks at healthy, godly sexuality being beyond "Don't until you're married." Yes, that is important, but our sexuality is so much more than that! I could go on, but this had gotten long as it is.
    www.danboone.me/marital-sex-bliss-or-legalized-lust/

  • @mageeswifts9619
    @mageeswifts9619 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Save yourself the 11 minutes - no it won't
    Love and a healthy sex life with your partner will definitely help.

  • @Ghostkar
    @Ghostkar 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    If you have a sin you struggle with before marriage you will have that sin when you ARE married. Marriage doesn't cure anything only Jesus does that. Like John says it can be HELP for those who can't CONTROL themselves. (self-control is a fruit of the spirit btw) I think its disgusting to think of marriage as only a means to have sex this culture is sick. That isn't Godly marriage at all and still sounds like lust to me.

  • @kennethfok
    @kennethfok ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Marriage does not cure your lust. Only when you make the effort to commit your life to God and trust Him to help you to cure your lust will it actually happen. Lust and sexual desires are not the same. We all are born as sexual creatures so that we can reproduce. To lust after your spouse means to view them as a different person, perhaps as a famous person with different breast and hip sizes or to simply wish they look as beautiful as someone else. Marriage does not cure our lust, but it helps us to enjoy sexual relations in a responsible manner. The idea of marriage is to bind a man and a woman together as one so that any sexual desires among the two can be fulfilled together among themselves. And God made it this way to protect us from diseases as well as to ensure that any children created as a result of those sexual relations will have a complete family. Married sex is good because we do not have to worry about someone else finding out we are having sex. We also do not have to worry about the child that gets produced should an accident happen.

  • @susanmuncan3170
    @susanmuncan3170 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Jesus cures everyone from everything. Marriage doesn't cure from lust. You should pray to God to give you a believing wife that you will both love and respect one another. If You marry someone because of lust, that will be going against God. Also that is the Sam as Committing adultery, marrying for the wrong reason. Before someone marrys they have to stop pornography! Jesus can help with everything.
    God bless everyone
    🙏🌞🌺

    • @Android-ds9ie
      @Android-ds9ie 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Then what is the use of marriage

  • @ericnazario8486
    @ericnazario8486 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Glory!!👍🏽

  • @CollinsBlessings-rj2fz
    @CollinsBlessings-rj2fz ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you Dr pius on TH-cam for all you do in my life and My family. I went for test today after taking the medication I ordered from Dr Pius and I tested chronic Hepatitis B virus negative. Thank doctors I will keep letting the world know about your good work sir!!.

  • @BassReeves600
    @BassReeves600 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I haven't watched this video yet. BUT the answer is definitely NO!

  • @HappiestSadGuy
    @HappiestSadGuy 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    If that was the case, I would have been married 60 years ago lol

  • @theapplepapple9420
    @theapplepapple9420 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Amen!

  • @jovensabido3315
    @jovensabido3315 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Yayyy i ask this

  • @japlunkett6789
    @japlunkett6789 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I’m just gonna leave this here before Austin Brown gets to it first:
    Ya’ll been baptized!?!

    • @HearGodsWord
      @HearGodsWord 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Haha :)

    • @goldberry3648
      @goldberry3648 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Hahaha😂😂😂
      I got that😂

    • @goldberry3648
      @goldberry3648 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Austin Brown Yes.

    • @goldberry3648
      @goldberry3648 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@user-mi5xq8zj7u 😂 😂😂

    • @timsharpe6652
      @timsharpe6652 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Who is he ? I guess I missed him 😇

  • @kar3n35
    @kar3n35 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    marriege can satisfysexually. Lust as sin cannot be satisfy because lust is destructive. But being married makes it easier, even though it doesnt take it away. Lust can only be put out by the power of god.

  • @brettschlee7090
    @brettschlee7090 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Ummm... no.

  • @thewatcher4552
    @thewatcher4552 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Slaying the Dragon of Lust by Chip Ingram is awesome.You have to quit watching porn at all cost! It will destroy you! There are plenty of TH-cam stories to overcome this lot's of people have! You are not alone my friend...some take days some take years!

  • @audreyperreault2036
    @audreyperreault2036 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Gee..! Nothing like using a wife huh? Then years of Therapy, arguments over roving eye, looking and approaching females in the work place and flirting.. etc. Thank God our marriage has had Catholic Counselling with a Priest.. we are back into our roots and enjoying our marriage ...as it should be!!!

  • @larry1824
    @larry1824 ปีที่แล้ว

    You bet

  • @homierax
    @homierax 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    so good

  • @dannyboyz7061
    @dannyboyz7061 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    No. Next question.

    • @Ytmetzc
      @Ytmetzc 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Dannyboyz lol...that’s exactly what I was going to say...

    • @tobiassanders3831
      @tobiassanders3831 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Answer is rarely just "no." Pastor John disagrees with your simplicity.

  • @Goldtaker23
    @Goldtaker23 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I have over bearing passions and fall to porn but its not like I can just get a wife just like that so what can I do ive asked God for strength but the desires are overpowering at a certain point so I don't know what to do

    • @JCrossJ
      @JCrossJ 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Maybe check out the series "Porn free" and "The 4 types sex" you can find at the Breakaway ministries webpage. Those really helped me understand the reality of the mess I was in. I will say, though, that what really propelled me into overcoming this problem was "confessing the sin", not only to God, but to another person (someone who I knew I could trust that wouldn't judge me but help me). This follows the advice found in proverbs 28:13.
      No one should go into marriage having lust problems, as lust is selfish and marriage is all about giving yourself to another. I wish the best for you!

  • @Teresahorner
    @Teresahorner 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    What if a christian man, which was my husband at 1 time. Yrs later we divorced and came best friends after spouses died. I fell in love with him but devil came in again! But i slept with him. But now hes dating another and said he was thinking about marrying so they wouldnt live together, in other words. Sex, but he had sex with me and i had thought God was gonna put us bac together. Im hurt

    • @Fabian7227
      @Fabian7227 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You sound drunk