Girl there is nothing wrong with wearing wigs until you get your hair the way you want it to be, that’s why they are created so women have a choice and can feel good in their own skin, put the wig on sis you’ll feel better ☺️
I totally agree with you. That's what I'm doing. I can still feel feminine, until it grows out! There are so many choices out here today, there is no need to feel like your missing anything. I'm loving the different styles and colors. Sistah needs to finish clipping her ends and go buy herself a lace front and call it a day!
This is not why wigs were created… most of the history about wigs is not good. Most wigs are made from stolen hair and hair gathered/taken from temples. … but I do agree with what you said somewhat. Yes love yourself but if she wanna wear a wig she’s allowed to ❤ no hate at all. I just want people to know the truth.
Masculinizing black women was always the name of the game. So our natural hair always feels the hardest to embrace when it’s a huge reminder that our society hated us for it plus many other features
Feeling masculine is just that, a feeling, a mindset. As a retired stylist after 32 years I can say with the right cut and style even very short hair can be extremely feminine. Don't give up. How you carry the style and personally to be the lady that can flip the world upside down. 💕
I did the big chop in 2006. I fully understand feeling masculine as long hair has always been associated with feminity. However, I received so many more unsolicited compliments from men. I had no hair to rely on as a crutch, it was all face. The bc made me aware of wearing more dresses and great earrings to balance my lack of hair. I actually began to feel more feminine. You are always stunning. I love this look on you. Also, wigs are still an option.
I know that feeling well. I accessorize to make myself feel more feminine. The bigger the earrings, the better. I also wear 💄 for that reason. You're gorgeous with or without hair.
well said. My daughter cut off all her hair (bald head). She looks absolutely beautiful. I told her to wear large earrings and lashes to help bring out more of her feminine features.
Thank you for sharing this. I completely agree. De-stigmatizing something in your HEAD is a journey especially when so much around you is perpetuating the very ideas and habits of thinking you’re trying to shed. I love being bald but there was definitely a shift in how I was treated and looked at which was interesting to me. Felt like I almost had to compensate for my hair with makeup (which i never really wore) and everything feminine to feel/ be treated like a woman.
STELLLLLAAAA! You literally are saying my thoughts and I did my big chop a few months ago and people clowned me because I'm plus-size and now my hair is cut short. Like my long hair made me feel more feminine even at times when I felt like my weight made me feel less feminine. You and I literally have the same cut and the same hair length with curls and everything ...So I have a piece of advice to help you with that feeling. ACCESSORIES, ACCESSORIES, ACCESSORIES. I stopped wearing dainty jewelry and started wearing larger hoops and statement pieces and it just helped to complete my looks better and it helps compensate that feeling that was missing when my hair was long. I don't know if this helps but it sure did help me.
Yes I completely agree. I did the big chop right around the same time as you and I cut it myself and I ended up cutting it a little bit shorter than I would have preferred and so now I'm at the stage of OMG. I had to grow out a little bit and I'll feel better but I feel great but at the same time I do kind of feel a little masculine and so I do my baby hairs and I pulled back one side sometimes just to give it a little bit more of a feminine look. Wishing nothing but the best to us both on this journey
I really loved how you looked in the cropped denim jacket, white top and khaki pants! Although you thought the jacket was too cropped, I think the height of the jacket (and lack of fabric) really compliments the exaggerated extra length in the pants! The brown loafers are also super cute. Great team at Prada, I loved their ideas and working with your style to create looks you love 💗. Real dream team!
Your feeling the masculine (I say strength) energy because your inner self needs the strength while you redefine your idea of self. The softness comes from acceptance and loving thyself. Then the strength comes back because of your self love. Don’t shy from the strong or soft parts. They are the tools in your toolbox.
after reading these comments i feel like people need to be reminded that 1. women dont need to be or look feminine 2. masculinty does not equate to “looking like a man” masculinity is for everyone and is not only associated with men 3. i get it if being or looking masculine isnt for you but dont give a negative connotation bc its not a negative thing and lastly 4. short hair is not feminine or masculine, its a beautiful thing called ✨androgyny✨
Idk … cuz I’ve always had short hair. Until my car accident.. I couldn’t get it cut cuz I couldn’t walk for a year and after I thought..” let me just grow it”…. 5 years later I felt like I didn’t look like myself and chopped it off…. Now I feel free! Like myself. Short hair is daring and it rebellious in a way because of statistics… society… you must have long hair to be a sexy beautiful WOMAN…!!! Not to me… I think short hair is fun. But some women hold on to it as a security blanket… maybe the same reason I wear all black 🤷♀️
I feel that. When I shaved my head it felt like I always had to over compensate with super cute earrings and makeup if I wanted to feel like a woman. I totally think every woman should shave their head once to feel totally free of the burdens of the beauty industry complex, but after that experience I’ve stuck with longer hair since I don’t want to have to do earrings/ makeup/ accessories every day but I still like feeling feminine.
But……… how you felt about it and the fact that’s why to wear it longer now literally means you weren’t freed from the ‘beauty industry complex’. I swear, people just open their mouths and ramble off the most illogical ish not realising how moronic they sound 😂
Ok there’s literally no reason to phrase that so rudely. I wouldn’t say I’m now totally free from the beauty industry. I obviously care about what I look like or I wouldn’t have grown my hair back out. I’m just saying that when my hair was shaved, and I was bald, I did not conform to traditional feminine beauty standards. I received very different treatment from men. I didn’t get compliments but I also didn’t get catcalled. I felt free in the sense of body neutrality, i.e my body is healthy, I like it because it gets me around. I didn’t feel pretty. It was a good experience I think everyone should have. I also realized that I enjoy feeling pretty, and since I’ve never been the type of person to wear makeup or accessorize, growing my hair long is an easy, low maintenance way to express femininity. Since this woman in the video is talking about feminine vs masculine energy and hair, I figured I’d share my experience
In college people assumed I was a lesbian because I have "butch energy" lol, and my hair was short (not that short; around shoulder length). I tended to wear more androgynous clothing at that time as well. There is nothing wrong with being a lesbian of course, but I was incredibly shy and didn't need another barrier between me and men asking me out :P So I grew out my hair and dating went better after that. I didn't even change anything else about how I looked. Now I like a more feminine appearance anyways so I keep my hair long. I guess my point is that people really do treat you differently based on hair length!
I get this! I cut my locs due to alopecia and I cry often because I miss how I looked with my long locs. It’s ok to feel both things at the same time. It’s best to cut it but it’s hard to see the old pics. Much love you are beautiful inside as well has out. ❤
Yesss it's a process. That being said, I feel like your hair now lets your face take the foreground. Your features seem to pop more and honestly you look more beautiful than I had noticed before. I love the shape and fullness of your face. Idk if it's the youthfulness or what, but you seem full of life, less weighted, etc. But yesss, please let yourself feel and process all that you feel!! Just my take 💕💕
Hearing this made me feel seen, I’ve done big chops numerous times in the past and each time I always struggle with that masculine energy I feel in the weeks following, it’s always a major MENTAL adjustment. At least for me so you’re not alone :)
It takes time to reconnect with your hair so I definitely understand what your saying, but continue to stick with it and you will love your hair all over again ❤
I think part of the problem is your true curls haven’t popped through yet. You still have some straight pieces so you don’t see the full potential. Once you get your true curls and a routine down, pop on some nice earrings and work it. Just my humble opinion.
*I FELT LIKE THAT IN THE BEGINNING TOO. SO I USED THINGS THAT I KNEW MEN WOULDN'T PUT IN THEIR HAIR 🤣. LIKE **#RHINESTONES** & **#PEARLS**. I WOULD **#PIN** MY HAIR UP ON THE SIDE & PUT A 🌺 TROPICAL FLOWER BEHIND MY EAR. THATS WHEN THE FULL FREE FEELING CAME!! I THINK YOU SHOULD TRY IT!* *(MAYBE EVEN TRY TEMPORARY DYE OR TRIBAL BRAIDS 😍 YOU GOT THIS STELLA!)*
I went completely bald and somehow felt more feminine…but with a few inches of hair more masculine. I know it makes no sense. Somehow I feel more like a stud or something lol. I do remember when I was bald I dressed more feminine and wore more makeup. Anywho my point I think it’s more of a feeling. With short hair I honestly feel like curves and attitude/style pops more. Just remember to accentuate the feminine things about yourself.
I love your hair! I had a fade for a couple years, and it was the most feminine I think I’ve ever felt - but that being said, I think that you should do whatever you need to do to be okay with your gender expression, including (but ofc not limited to) wearing braids/wigs that’ll let your hair grow heat-free, talking to your stylist about the shape of your cut, using fashion/make-up to feel more feminine, etc.
I bet you look real nice with a fade… short hair is just as beautiful.. I’ve always had a pixie cut and I’m on the fence about cutting it shorter than my hair is now… it’s above my shoulders.
I did my first big chop in middle school. I was the only black girl in class next to fairer skinned Latina’s with long thick hair. I got a lot of weird stares that day and even had my crush say he liked my hair before. I was ashamed, embarrassed, and depressed after that. I even went as far as to gel my hair every day before school. I was looking for videos on how to grow your hair faster. That was the first time I had my femininity challenged. I’ll never forget how I felt that day…
You don’t NEED to do anything. Pop a wig on girly!! There are clearly healthy ways to do that. Maybe that means less options, for the sake of hair health, but that doesn’t mean you CANNOT. Pause and remember your creativity. It’s OK to not like your hair as it is now!!! It’s gorgeous, healthier, but not where you want it. And that’s absolutely ok. You don’t need to be in love with your characteristics to love them. Your hair will grow. It’s ok❤️
You feel the way you feel, and hopefully you'll be able to work through this soon. You do NOT look masculine, or give off masculine energy with your short hair. You look beautiful. You ARE beautiful. Keep telling yourself that. I did a big chop a few years back, and wondered if I'd be less attractive to guys with hair as short as most of theirs was. Then I remembered that I had a pretty face, and fat ass.👌💯😂
You can always do protective styles and wear extensions or a nice lace. It's your journey, you can have it look however you want my love. Protective styles like feed in braids actually help your hair grow faster. Get you a 30 inch buss down girl and swang that shit around. I shaved mine. Sometimes I like it and sometime I like to switch it up. A lower cut sometimes help. Your face shape and beautiful eyes will make it pop.
Protective styles can be dangerous. Many are damaging if done wrong. She just needs to take care of her hair and grow it back without manipulating it too much. Lace causes MAD DAMAGE to so many women - everyone walking around here bald headed with no edges etc.
Protective styles don’t “grow” hair, they help retain the length you already have. And make sure y’all are actually protecting your real hair underneath. Too many people been “protective styling” for years and still at the same length
definitely felt this. i haven’t chopped my hair, but wearing it natural for almost 3 entire years definitely made me feel a type of way. some days i loved the curls, others i felt so self conscious and wished i had more length to “hide” behind. (i lose so much length to shrinkage, it’s insane) but i think the best thing to do in these times is to remind yourself WHY you chose the natural hair journey, and even if you decide to stay with it or go a different route, you are no less confident and beautiful
You are so giving feminine energy. I stopped getting weaves and realized I was hiding behind my hair. I had to learn to love me for me. Now, I can wear wigs, weaves or be natural and love me peridot! It is a struggle. Do what you feel. Wear a weave and grow your hair out , just be sure to take care of your own hair.
Two years ago i chopped my hair and started microlocs. Everyone seemed to look great in them except me. I loved my wigs because they added style, flair, and personality. Now that my locs are longer and the color I want, I find myself wearing my hair more and more. I love the 14"+ length and fullness my hair wasn't giving. I wore wigs until I felt comfortable.
I agree it does bring you more into your masculine energy. But I enjoy that tbh. I embraced that energy and got more things done. Was actually thinking about cutting my hair again soon lol
I’ve done the big chop twice, once in my 20’s and once in my 40’s... both times my family and friends thought I was “crazy “ 🤔...if they only knew...with cutting my hair, I was holding on to my sanity...taking charge and changing something that I could, whilst trying to figure out everything that I couldn’t.
Sis I've always had my hair natural, can't stand wigs or anything plastic on my skin or hair, worst of all, someone else hair or energy is definitely not allowed on me energetically. Due to this, my hair grow really fast and I chop it mostly two years. It's not masculine energy, it's giving power and healing the teenage you who was de-femenised with her hair. Allow her to sit in her power and grow with her.
I agree with you about not feeling very sexy with your natural hair. My hair just won't grow anymore. And I think I look better with longer hair. So I wear wigs and natural hair clip ins. Like they say, fake it until you make it. 🤣
Yesss. I started my Loc journey a month ago. And you can't see my true hair length because it's coiled up. I'm going through it trying to feel like myself and feel pretty again.
Don't sweat it. I was Sinead O'Connor/Brittany Spears bald and it grew back. I started locs 8/20 and now they are to the shoulder. I've never even twisted them. I used that sponge thing for two weeks and have just been washing/oiling for the past two years. I do wraps and loose ponytails. The length will come sooner than you think. Focus on health. Stay positive. 🥰
I will say… I love the energy mix up. You’re still such a feminine queen, but with this sexi bad girl suave with the hair. I love it on you!! I hope you find your zone of comfortability🫶
I really want to chop my hair into a tapered cut, but I'm afraid about looking too masculine. However, I love short hair on other women. I think your hair would look more feminine if you put some copper highlights in it or just lighten up the color a bit. Also, as it starts to grow out, you may find that it shapes into a style you can live with.
Yes the Big Chop is freeing. The only thing I disagree with is the masculine feeling. I never feel that way when I chop off my hair. I'm very strict about who puts scissors in my beautiful thick Locs. Every stylist can't cut your hair. I know you're feeling that way but once you figure out how to really style your hair, you'll do great. You Look Beautiful!
Just cut my hair 2 days ago and totally feel like this can't wait till my hair grows to a length I can do protective styles. I also hate feeling like I am in my masculine energy
What you're experiencing is the same feeling I had post big chop, but you're overlooking something criticallllllll......YOUR GORGEOUS FACE. You could be bald and there'd be nothing masculine about you. Have fun with your short hair, do cute short styles and please don't cover it up because this is the best time to play with products and discover which ones suit your hair texture best. Enjoy YOUR journey!.......🤩
You still look VERY feminine with your short hair 💜 you are very very very feminine still ✨ I had very short hair too about the length of your hair when I big chopped too.
Hi Stella. I did a big chop August 2022. It has helped me feel more feminine by adding accessories to my short cut, especially bows, gems, and the color pink.
I had to cut mine all off to really embrace the journey. Shaved head was the sexiest and freest I have ever felt. From there every other phase took the same sort of dive in, embrace w radical acceptance and then patience over time grew beautiful results.
I feel this. I went a little too hard on the flat ironing last year, so to preserve my hair and get it back to health, I have been doing a lot of wash and go's, and generally, just more textured hair styles. I don't feel sexy with my curls, I feel 'cute'. Adorable. So it's hard at first.
I read somewhere that indigenous cultures in the Americas equated long hair with having more awareness of their surroundings, almost like cats whiskers being wider than their body allows them to be spatially sensitive. Every hair follicle has a muscle, which means it has a nerve. Longer hair moves more and stimulates these nerves. Shorter hair isn't stimulated as often. I'm not sure of a connection to hair length and feminine or masculine energy, but it's something to wonder.
You can still wear your 30 in buss downs while you learn your hair. It’s not an either/or, it’s “and”. You can rock your natural curls AND feel feminine in your 30 inches. ❤
Yes same. I had dreadlocs for like 12 years and I finally cut and combed them out, so now whenever I look in the mirror I feel my masculine side more than my feminine side so I'm trying to find my in-between 😅
I will never change the fact that I big chop the way that I did but moving forward I know that I can never do that again like. EVERRR if I have to start over I would rather just transition and this is coming from somebody who did it in 2014
I did a big chop and I do not feel masculine at all I loveeee the short hair the lady who cut my hair tried to tell me now I will need to wear big earrings and do my makeup/ skincare I don’t even feel the need I feel beautiful my hair is easier to manage and I enjoy my curls
The natural hair journey is a challenging one. The big coip can make you feel a bit insecure or out of sorts and it makes you wonder if you still look feminine, if you still look attractive, etc. Sweetheart, you look so beautiful with your cut! I love seeing your whole face and your curls are gorgeous! Hang in there, it gets greater later. ❤️
It depends. If your whole identity is your hair, and you cut it off,you can't cope. But,if you have hair really slicked back in tight hairstyles,have weaves, extensions,you get tension alopecia.also,over processed hair falls out.excessive heat styling causes hair loss
It is really hard to cut a ton of hair off, no matter the condition it was in, and no matter why you’re cutting it. And what makes it worse is how we feel so pressured to only be happy about it, when having mixed feelings about a huge to change one’s appearance is normal-and I would even say it’s healthy to have an adjustment period where you kind of mourn the loss of what was and what you had wished for, while also appreciating what you have now, while also also looking forward to what will be and things you hope for. I felt like I was less womanly and less attractive when I cut my hair to a short pixie some time ago, and it was rough! And I’m not saying I was right, but it did throw me for a loop. Even though I also loved the short cut often, I still hated it sometimes and hated how long it would be until I had long hair again. It didn’t fix everything, but it did help when I realized nothing could make me less of a woman because it’s just a fact (and what even is “womanly?”), and also that change does not devalue me. My worth as a person cannot be taken away from me. Nor can it from you, or anyone else. Once I stopped constantly linking my worth with meeting society’s visual standards, I was also free to realize that the idea that human beings can have inferior appearances is BS anyway! 🤯😅 Anyway, the struggle is real, but so is the good stuff, and I hope you find what you need ❤
Humans absolutely can have inferior appearances. We are animals. Dogs are a good example. Dogs have ideal aesthetics for each breed. Some people are more visually appealing than others and that’s okay. Lying about it, isn’t. Delusion is a mental illness. Not everybody has to be beautiful. Not all bodies are beautiful. Aesthetic neutrality is a far superior mindset than body positivity. Google to learn more. Psychological fact.
I just did my big chop again (I'm forever not treating my hair right lol). I struggle with feeling somehow masculine. I can say that the feeling is now less struggle bus and more fist bumping an old acquaintance lol
Omg!! I totally get it! I loc my hair a year ago. And I feel like I am masculine. Maybe it’s a stigma from social media or just my own insecurities. It has forced me to change my aesthetic though. I’m working on becoming more soft when I dress. If that makes sense. Not as loud or bold. Embracing my natural has and still is a journey for sure
Yes, it is an adjustment indeed. Although imo you still appear very feminine. 😍 But don’t stress yourself out please feel free to utilize protective styling in the interim
No judgment towards your journey, but personally I ain't got time for NO MASCULINE ENERGY. I'm too short & round to be embracing ANYTHING masculine. Hmph, time is short out here in these glamour streets❤ Big love to you Miss Stella
So I’m not crazy. I have to do a big chop soon. I’m both excited & dreading it at the same time. I’m excited to start fresh, but the feelings associated with my short hair is what I despise. I’ve done the big chop multiple times before & when I was younger it just seemed much easier to rock my natural state, but as I get older I just hate it…
Just put yourself in that Hailey Berry energy long hair nowadays does not. make you girly confident sexy and secure within yourself does.....just live in the moment and embrace the new you.
I totally agree my curly hair looks almost childish and I don’t feel like a sexy middle woman I feel like I look 12 lol but I guess I could just throw a wig on
I remember letting go of the extensions (expensive weaves) that I’d been wearing for almost 20 years. I always had curly, nice length hair but none of us were wearing it. Curly hair was not popular so I hid mine. Well, in 2012 I had my extensions removed and asked that she color my hair to add boldness and I sat in the salon chair and cried as I look at myself and saw a different person. Someone beautiful and new who was saying to herself and everyone else, “this is me and you have to accept me how I am”. It was so evolving and a weight that had been lifted off of my own shoulders. An experience I will not ever forget and often speak about it.
Baby hair and earrings helped me feel more feminine when I big chopped. In my opinion it made my styles look more purposeful, which made me feel better as my hair grew out
No one ever talks about that awkward stage. I went through that when I went from perm to natural and again when I big chopped then locd my hair. I felt I always had to overcompensate with makeup and large earrings.
With those big chops just a little makeup and jewelry is all you need and keep being you. Some do feel that it's a bit masculine but don't let it bother you.
I did my big chop 6years ago. And learning the basics and the products that work and how to make my curls luscious was a WHOLE process. Tbh, it took me about 4years to get to the stage I’m at now. And even though I do braids once I year. I💚 my natural thick curly hair and wear it like a crown 😊
My 1st big chop was much like your current style, with some straight pieces on top. I decided to do an additional chop, actually cutting my hair down to the curl, taking all the straight pieces off. I still had twice as much hair on top, compared to the sides and back. I was sooooo much more in love with my hair. It was much easier to style, and my curls were poppin!
I messed up my hair and to get it probably about as short as yours. The salon workers were not very nice about how it looked, so I definitely had mixed feelings how I looked😅but personally, I think you look super lovely with your cut. I don’t like super short hair on myself, but it really fits you especially when you do your curls. I think your face fits any style..if that makes sense.
Girl there is nothing wrong with wearing wigs until you get your hair the way you want it to be, that’s why they are created so women have a choice and can feel good in their own skin, put the wig on sis you’ll feel better ☺️
I totally agree with you. That's what I'm doing. I can still feel feminine, until it grows out! There are so many choices out here today, there is no need to feel like your missing anything. I'm loving the different styles and colors. Sistah needs to finish clipping her ends and go buy herself a lace front and call it a day!
Exactly!
@@lindywheeler4192 And I agree 1000%
I was gonna say the exact same thing
This is not why wigs were created… most of the history about wigs is not good. Most wigs are made from stolen hair and hair gathered/taken from temples.
… but I do agree with what you said somewhat. Yes love yourself but if she wanna wear a wig she’s allowed to ❤ no hate at all. I just want people to know the truth.
Masculinizing black women was always the name of the game. So our natural hair always feels the hardest to embrace when it’s a huge reminder that our society hated us for it plus many other features
black women have to play the masculine part because ....their men are weak.
I never felt masculine with my short hair. I rocked tf outta that shit
Same I feel more feminine even
Me too. I was mad confused. Wig or no wig, some females have a masculine aura about them.
On God! How good I looked surpassed my expectations!!!
It’s because she’s obese
Well when I have short hair I'm often called Sir in the Drive-Thru and stuff like that. It sucks
Feeling masculine is just that, a feeling, a mindset. As a retired stylist after 32 years I can say with the right cut and style even very short hair can be extremely feminine. Don't give up. How you carry the style and personally to be the lady that can flip the world upside down. 💕
I did the big chop in 2006. I fully understand feeling masculine as long hair has always been associated with feminity. However, I received so many more unsolicited compliments from men. I had no hair to rely on as a crutch, it was all face. The bc made me aware of wearing more dresses and great earrings to balance my lack of hair. I actually began to feel more feminine. You are always stunning. I love this look on you. Also, wigs are still an option.
Tbh you should really cut the straggly ends that dont curl.
I know that feeling well. I accessorize to make myself feel more feminine. The bigger the earrings, the better. I also wear 💄 for that reason. You're gorgeous with or without hair.
well said. My daughter cut off all her hair (bald head). She looks absolutely beautiful. I told her to wear large earrings and lashes to help bring out more of her feminine features.
it's a different journey for everyone. When I Big chopped I felt so sexy with my short hair and ended up wearing it short for three years.
Okay
Thank you for sharing this. I completely agree. De-stigmatizing something in your HEAD is a journey especially when so much around you is perpetuating the very ideas and habits of thinking you’re trying to shed.
I love being bald but there was definitely a shift in how I was treated and looked at which was interesting to me. Felt like I almost had to compensate for my hair with makeup (which i never really wore) and everything feminine to feel/ be treated like a woman.
STELLLLLAAAA! You literally are saying my thoughts and I did my big chop a few months ago and people clowned me because I'm plus-size and now my hair is cut short. Like my long hair made me feel more feminine even at times when I felt like my weight made me feel less feminine. You and I literally have the same cut and the same hair length with curls and everything ...So I have a piece of advice to help you with that feeling. ACCESSORIES, ACCESSORIES, ACCESSORIES. I stopped wearing dainty jewelry and started wearing larger hoops and statement pieces and it just helped to complete my looks better and it helps compensate that feeling that was missing when my hair was long. I don't know if this helps but it sure did help me.
Yes I completely agree. I did the big chop right around the same time as you and I cut it myself and I ended up cutting it a little bit shorter than I would have preferred and so now I'm at the stage of OMG. I had to grow out a little bit and I'll feel better but I feel great but at the same time I do kind of feel a little masculine and so I do my baby hairs and I pulled back one side sometimes just to give it a little bit more of a feminine look. Wishing nothing but the best to us both on this journey
I really loved how you looked in the cropped denim jacket, white top and khaki pants! Although you thought the jacket was too cropped, I think the height of the jacket (and lack of fabric) really compliments the exaggerated extra length in the pants! The brown loafers are also super cute. Great team at Prada, I loved their ideas and working with your style to create looks you love 💗. Real dream team!
As your hair grows you will understand why you chose to cut it all off. Just enjoy the journey sis. Don’t worry about how your hair looks some days.
Your feeling the masculine (I say strength) energy because your inner self needs the strength while you redefine your idea of self. The softness comes from acceptance and loving thyself. Then the strength comes back because of your self love. Don’t shy from the strong or soft parts. They are the tools in your toolbox.
after reading these comments i feel like people need to be reminded that 1. women dont need to be or look feminine 2. masculinty does not equate to “looking like a man” masculinity is for everyone and is not only associated with men 3. i get it if being or looking masculine isnt for you but dont give a negative connotation bc its not a negative thing and lastly 4. short hair is not feminine or masculine, its a beautiful thing called ✨androgyny✨
Literally mosed ppl are being nice af even on newest first I haven't seen 1 other than urs saying that
Idk … cuz I’ve always had short hair. Until my car accident.. I couldn’t get it cut cuz I couldn’t walk for a year and after I thought..” let me just grow it”…. 5 years later I felt like I didn’t look like myself and chopped it off…. Now I feel free! Like myself. Short hair is daring and it rebellious in a way because of statistics… society… you must have long hair to be a sexy beautiful WOMAN…!!! Not to me… I think short hair is fun. But some women hold on to it as a security blanket… maybe the same reason I wear all black 🤷♀️
I feel that. When I shaved my head it felt like I always had to over compensate with super cute earrings and makeup if I wanted to feel like a woman. I totally think every woman should shave their head once to feel totally free of the burdens of the beauty industry complex, but after that experience I’ve stuck with longer hair since I don’t want to have to do earrings/ makeup/ accessories every day but I still like feeling feminine.
But……… how you felt about it and the fact that’s why to wear it longer now literally means you weren’t freed from the ‘beauty industry complex’. I swear, people just open their mouths and ramble off the most illogical ish not realising how moronic they sound 😂
Ok there’s literally no reason to phrase that so rudely. I wouldn’t say I’m now totally free from the beauty industry. I obviously care about what I look like or I wouldn’t have grown my hair back out. I’m just saying that when my hair was shaved, and I was bald, I did not conform to traditional feminine beauty standards. I received very different treatment from men. I didn’t get compliments but I also didn’t get catcalled. I felt free in the sense of body neutrality, i.e my body is healthy, I like it because it gets me around. I didn’t feel pretty. It was a good experience I think everyone should have. I also realized that I enjoy feeling pretty, and since I’ve never been the type of person to wear makeup or accessorize, growing my hair long is an easy, low maintenance way to express femininity. Since this woman in the video is talking about feminine vs masculine energy and hair, I figured I’d share my experience
@@chayafischer1027 oh that’s interesting, I just wrote a comment about body neutrality. I agree it’s what people should strive for.
In college people assumed I was a lesbian because I have "butch energy" lol, and my hair was short (not that short; around shoulder length). I tended to wear more androgynous clothing at that time as well.
There is nothing wrong with being a lesbian of course, but I was incredibly shy and didn't need another barrier between me and men asking me out :P So I grew out my hair and dating went better after that. I didn't even change anything else about how I looked.
Now I like a more feminine appearance anyways so I keep my hair long. I guess my point is that people really do treat you differently based on hair length!
Soem of you walk around with a masculine aura, no matter the makeup or hair, so…
I get this! I cut my locs due to alopecia and I cry often because I miss how I looked with my long locs. It’s ok to feel both things at the same time. It’s best to cut it but it’s hard to see the old pics.
Much love you are beautiful inside as well has out. ❤
Yesss it's a process. That being said, I feel like your hair now lets your face take the foreground. Your features seem to pop more and honestly you look more beautiful than I had noticed before. I love the shape and fullness of your face. Idk if it's the youthfulness or what, but you seem full of life, less weighted, etc. But yesss, please let yourself feel and process all that you feel!! Just my take 💕💕
I 100% agree with you . When I cut my hair I felt so manly and unseen. I was not used to that. I ended up putting on a wig. SMH I’m a work in progress
Hearing this made me feel seen, I’ve done big chops numerous times in the past and each time I always struggle with that masculine energy I feel in the weeks following, it’s always a major MENTAL adjustment. At least for me so you’re not alone :)
It takes time to reconnect with your hair so I definitely understand what your saying, but continue to stick with it and you will love your hair all over again ❤
I think part of the problem is your true curls haven’t popped through yet. You still have some straight pieces so you don’t see the full potential. Once you get your true curls and a routine down, pop on some nice earrings and work it. Just my humble opinion.
*I FELT LIKE THAT IN THE BEGINNING TOO. SO I USED THINGS THAT I KNEW MEN WOULDN'T PUT IN THEIR HAIR 🤣. LIKE **#RHINESTONES** & **#PEARLS**. I WOULD **#PIN** MY HAIR UP ON THE SIDE & PUT A 🌺 TROPICAL FLOWER BEHIND MY EAR. THATS WHEN THE FULL FREE FEELING CAME!! I THINK YOU SHOULD TRY IT!*
*(MAYBE EVEN TRY TEMPORARY DYE OR TRIBAL BRAIDS 😍 YOU GOT THIS STELLA!)*
I went completely bald and somehow felt more feminine…but with a few inches of hair more masculine. I know it makes no sense. Somehow I feel more like a stud or something lol. I do remember when I was bald I dressed more feminine and wore more makeup. Anywho my point I think it’s more of a feeling. With short hair I honestly feel like curves and attitude/style pops more. Just remember to accentuate the feminine things about yourself.
When I first got it cut, felt so feminine and now it’s been almost a month, same!
@@StellaKittrell Hey girl! 💖 keep it up and trust the process you’ll soon have flowing curls. ✨
I've been wearing my hair short natural for years and never felt masculine. I actually feel more sexy.
I love your hair! I had a fade for a couple years, and it was the most feminine I think I’ve ever felt - but that being said, I think that you should do whatever you need to do to be okay with your gender expression, including (but ofc not limited to) wearing braids/wigs that’ll let your hair grow heat-free, talking to your stylist about the shape of your cut, using fashion/make-up to feel more feminine, etc.
I bet you look real nice with a fade… short hair is just as beautiful.. I’ve always had a pixie cut and I’m on the fence about cutting it shorter than my hair is now… it’s above my shoulders.
I did my first big chop in middle school. I was the only black girl in class next to fairer skinned Latina’s with long thick hair. I got a lot of weird stares that day and even had my crush say he liked my hair before. I was ashamed, embarrassed, and depressed after that. I even went as far as to gel my hair every day before school. I was looking for videos on how to grow your hair faster. That was the first time I had my femininity challenged. I’ll never forget how I felt that day…
Im sorry that happended love ❤
You don’t NEED to do anything. Pop a wig on girly!! There are clearly healthy ways to do that. Maybe that means less options, for the sake of hair health, but that doesn’t mean you CANNOT. Pause and remember your creativity. It’s OK to not like your hair as it is now!!! It’s gorgeous, healthier, but not where you want it. And that’s absolutely ok. You don’t need to be in love with your characteristics to love them. Your hair will grow. It’s ok❤️
You feel the way you feel, and hopefully you'll be able to work through this soon. You do NOT look masculine, or give off masculine energy with your short hair. You look beautiful. You ARE beautiful. Keep telling yourself that. I did a big chop a few years back, and wondered if I'd be less attractive to guys with hair as short as most of theirs was. Then I remembered that I had a pretty face, and fat ass.👌💯😂
You can always do protective styles and wear extensions or a nice lace. It's your journey, you can have it look however you want my love. Protective styles like feed in braids actually help your hair grow faster. Get you a 30 inch buss down girl and swang that shit around. I shaved mine. Sometimes I like it and sometime I like to switch it up. A lower cut sometimes help. Your face shape and beautiful eyes will make it pop.
Protective styles can be dangerous. Many are damaging if done wrong. She just needs to take care of her hair and grow it back without manipulating it too much. Lace causes MAD DAMAGE to so many women - everyone walking around here bald headed with no edges etc.
@@CanineGrowTime good thing she has tons of options then huh
Protective styles don’t “grow” hair, they help retain the length you already have. And make sure y’all are actually protecting your real hair underneath. Too many people been “protective styling” for years and still at the same length
definitely felt this. i haven’t chopped my hair, but wearing it natural for almost 3 entire years definitely made me feel a type of way. some days i loved the curls, others i felt so self conscious and wished i had more length to “hide” behind. (i lose so much length to shrinkage, it’s insane) but i think the best thing to do in these times is to remind yourself WHY you chose the natural hair journey, and even if you decide to stay with it or go a different route, you are no less confident and beautiful
You are so giving feminine energy. I stopped getting weaves and realized I was hiding behind my hair. I had to learn to love me for me. Now, I can wear wigs, weaves or be natural and love me peridot! It is a struggle. Do what you feel. Wear a weave and grow your hair out , just be sure to take care of your own hair.
You are helping women break the cultural construct. You are feminine, you are beautiful, and your hair is perfect.
Two years ago i chopped my hair and started microlocs. Everyone seemed to look great in them except me. I loved my wigs because they added style, flair, and personality. Now that my locs are longer and the color I want, I find myself wearing my hair more and more. I love the 14"+ length and fullness my hair wasn't giving. I wore wigs until I felt comfortable.
I agree it does bring you more into your masculine energy. But I enjoy that tbh. I embraced that energy and got more things done. Was actually thinking about cutting my hair again soon lol
I’ve done the big chop twice, once in my 20’s and once in my 40’s... both times my family and friends thought I was “crazy “ 🤔...if they only knew...with cutting my hair, I was holding on to my sanity...taking charge and changing something that I could, whilst trying to figure out everything that I couldn’t.
Sis I've always had my hair natural, can't stand wigs or anything plastic on my skin or hair, worst of all, someone else hair or energy is definitely not allowed on me energetically.
Due to this, my hair grow really fast and I chop it mostly two years.
It's not masculine energy, it's giving power and healing the teenage you who was de-femenised with her hair. Allow her to sit in her power and grow with her.
I agree with what you said. Because when you are used to having long hair, it is hard to adjust when your hair is now short.
For me, I really embraced that feeling
I agree with you about not feeling very sexy with your natural hair. My hair just won't grow anymore. And I think I look better with longer hair. So I wear wigs and natural hair clip ins. Like they say, fake it until you make it. 🤣
Yesss. I started my Loc journey a month ago. And you can't see my true hair length because it's coiled up. I'm going through it trying to feel like myself and feel pretty again.
Don't sweat it. I was Sinead O'Connor/Brittany Spears bald and it grew back. I started locs 8/20 and now they are to the shoulder. I've never even twisted them. I used that sponge thing for two weeks and have just been washing/oiling for the past two years. I do wraps and loose ponytails. The length will come sooner than you think. Focus on health. Stay positive. 🥰
Amazing. I wear my head shaven and have never felt masculine. U teach me so much
I will say… I love the energy mix up. You’re still such a feminine queen, but with this sexi bad girl suave with the hair. I love it on you!! I hope you find your zone of comfortability🫶
I really want to chop my hair into a tapered cut, but I'm afraid about looking too masculine. However, I love short hair on other women. I think your hair would look more feminine if you put some copper highlights in it or just lighten up the color a bit. Also, as it starts to grow out, you may find that it shapes into a style you can live with.
Yes the Big Chop is freeing. The only thing I disagree with is the masculine feeling. I never feel that way when I chop off my hair. I'm very strict about who puts scissors in my beautiful thick Locs. Every stylist can't cut your hair. I know you're feeling that way but once you figure out how to really style your hair, you'll do great. You Look Beautiful!
Thankful it was never a journey. I just cut my hair about 25 years ago and never looked back. Maybe because I never was into wigs and weaves.
A big part of it is just owning what you look like. Period! Or just not giving a cluck! 🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️
Just cut my hair 2 days ago and totally feel like this can't wait till my hair grows to a length I can do protective styles.
I also hate feeling like I am in my masculine energy
I love you being honest!!!
What you're experiencing is the same feeling I had post big chop, but you're overlooking something criticallllllll......YOUR GORGEOUS FACE. You could be bald and there'd be nothing masculine about you. Have fun with your short hair, do cute short styles and please don't cover it up because this is the best time to play with products and discover which ones suit your hair texture best. Enjoy YOUR journey!.......🤩
i wish more black women would work on loving themselves this is sad...i love you sista youll get through it
You still look VERY feminine with your short hair 💜 you are very very very feminine still ✨ I had very short hair too about the length of your hair when I big chopped too.
Buss Downs=Protective Style
Girl go get you some bundles!💚
What I will say is if you really want curls you really have to consider cutting the straight ends
Hi Stella. I did a big chop August 2022. It has helped me feel more feminine by adding accessories to my short cut, especially bows, gems, and the color pink.
Stay strong, it'll be worth it. I had the same issue when I cut my hair off. Now my curls are long.
I love how you worded that. That’s exactly how I felt when I did my big chop.
Even more beautiful because all your gorgeous pops
Stella! You can still do full closure wigs or a curly weave to avoid heat damage!
I had to cut mine all off to really embrace the journey. Shaved head was the sexiest and freest I have ever felt. From there every other phase took the same sort of dive in, embrace w radical acceptance and then patience over time grew beautiful results.
I feel this. I went a little too hard on the flat ironing last year, so to preserve my hair and get it back to health, I have been doing a lot of wash and go's, and generally, just more textured hair styles. I don't feel sexy with my curls, I feel 'cute'. Adorable. So it's hard at first.
I read somewhere that indigenous cultures in the Americas equated long hair with having more awareness of their surroundings, almost like cats whiskers being wider than their body allows them to be spatially sensitive. Every hair follicle has a muscle, which means it has a nerve. Longer hair moves more and stimulates these nerves. Shorter hair isn't stimulated as often. I'm not sure of a connection to hair length and feminine or masculine energy, but it's something to wonder.
You can still wear your 30 in buss downs while you learn your hair. It’s not an either/or, it’s “and”.
You can rock your natural curls AND feel feminine in your 30 inches. ❤
You are beautiful inside and out..
Short is sassy, attitude, and makes a statement when you enter the room! It’s beautiful-own it!
Yes same. I had dreadlocs for like 12 years and I finally cut and combed them out, so now whenever I look in the mirror I feel my masculine side more than my feminine side so I'm trying to find my in-between 😅
Thank you so much for sharing
Thanks for your honesty
I will never change the fact that I big chop the way that I did but moving forward I know that I can never do that again like. EVERRR if I have to start over I would rather just transition and this is coming from somebody who did it in 2014
I did a big chop and I do not feel masculine at all I loveeee the short hair the lady who cut my hair tried to tell me now I will need to wear big earrings and do my makeup/ skincare I don’t even feel the need I feel beautiful my hair is easier to manage and I enjoy my curls
The natural hair journey is a challenging one. The big coip can make you feel a bit insecure or out of sorts and it makes you wonder if you still look feminine, if you still look attractive, etc.
Sweetheart, you look so beautiful with your cut! I love seeing your whole face and your curls are gorgeous! Hang in there, it gets greater later. ❤️
It depends. If your whole identity is your hair, and you cut it off,you can't cope.
But,if you have hair really slicked back in tight hairstyles,have weaves, extensions,you get tension alopecia.also,over processed hair falls out.excessive heat styling causes hair loss
It is really hard to cut a ton of hair off, no matter the condition it was in, and no matter why you’re cutting it. And what makes it worse is how we feel so pressured to only be happy about it, when having mixed feelings about a huge to change one’s appearance is normal-and I would even say it’s healthy to have an adjustment period where you kind of mourn the loss of what was and what you had wished for, while also appreciating what you have now, while also also looking forward to what will be and things you hope for.
I felt like I was less womanly and less attractive when I cut my hair to a short pixie some time ago, and it was rough! And I’m not saying I was right, but it did throw me for a loop. Even though I also loved the short cut often, I still hated it sometimes and hated how long it would be until I had long hair again. It didn’t fix everything, but it did help when I realized nothing could make me less of a woman because it’s just a fact (and what even is “womanly?”), and also that change does not devalue me. My worth as a person cannot be taken away from me. Nor can it from you, or anyone else. Once I stopped constantly linking my worth with meeting society’s visual standards, I was also free to realize that the idea that human beings can have inferior appearances is BS anyway! 🤯😅
Anyway, the struggle is real, but so is the good stuff, and I hope you find what you need ❤
Humans absolutely can have inferior appearances. We are animals. Dogs are a good example. Dogs have ideal aesthetics for each breed. Some people are more visually appealing than others and that’s okay. Lying about it, isn’t. Delusion is a mental illness. Not everybody has to be beautiful. Not all bodies are beautiful. Aesthetic neutrality is a far superior mindset than body positivity. Google to learn more. Psychological fact.
I feel the same, i just did my BC and i don’t like what i see in the mirror. I feel so masculine.
I'm waiting for my hair to grow back to feeling the masculine side of Me Too! You got this!
I just did my big chop again (I'm forever not treating my hair right lol). I struggle with feeling somehow masculine. I can say that the feeling is now less struggle bus and more fist bumping an old acquaintance lol
You are still beautiful. ❤ Hair doesn’t make a person beautiful, the beauty comes from within ❤
Omg!! I totally get it! I loc my hair a year ago. And I feel like I am masculine. Maybe it’s a stigma from social media or just my own insecurities. It has forced me to change my aesthetic though. I’m working on becoming more soft when I dress. If that makes sense. Not as loud or bold. Embracing my natural has and still is a journey for sure
Yes, it is an adjustment indeed. Although imo you still appear very feminine. 😍 But don’t stress yourself out please feel free to utilize protective styling in the interim
Perfect time to showcase large earrings.
This is exactly. How I feeeeeeel!!!!
No judgment towards your journey, but personally I ain't got time for NO MASCULINE ENERGY. I'm too short & round to be embracing ANYTHING masculine. Hmph, time is short out here in these glamour streets❤
Big love to you Miss Stella
So I’m not crazy. I have to do a big chop soon. I’m both excited & dreading it at the same time. I’m excited to start fresh, but the feelings associated with my short hair is what I despise. I’ve done the big chop multiple times before & when I was younger it just seemed much easier to rock my natural state, but as I get older I just hate it…
Just put yourself in that Hailey Berry energy long hair nowadays does not. make you girly confident sexy and secure within yourself does.....just live in the moment and embrace the new you.
Earrings and accessories will help. Hoops
I totally agree my curly hair looks almost childish and I don’t feel like a sexy middle woman I feel like I look 12 lol but I guess I could just throw a wig on
I remember letting go of the extensions (expensive weaves) that I’d been wearing for almost 20 years. I always had curly, nice length hair but none of us were wearing it. Curly hair was not popular so I hid mine. Well, in 2012 I had my extensions removed and asked that she color my hair to add boldness and I sat in the salon chair and cried as I look at myself and saw a different person. Someone beautiful and new who was saying to herself and everyone else, “this is me and you have to accept me how I am”. It was so evolving and a weight that had been lifted off of my own shoulders. An experience I will not ever forget and often speak about it.
You look great!!!!
Baby hair and earrings helped me feel more feminine when I big chopped. In my opinion it made my styles look more purposeful, which made me feel better as my hair grew out
No one ever talks about that awkward stage. I went through that when I went from perm to natural and again when I big chopped then locd my hair. I felt I always had to overcompensate with makeup and large earrings.
With those big chops just a little makeup and jewelry is all you need and keep being you. Some do feel that it's a bit masculine but don't let it bother you.
If you want to wear a wig wear one they're protective styles while you grow out your own beautiful hair
I did my big chop 6years ago. And learning the basics and the products that work and how to make my curls luscious was a WHOLE process. Tbh, it took me about 4years to get to the stage I’m at now. And even though I do braids once I year. I💚 my natural thick curly hair and wear it like a crown 😊
I big chopped several times since 2003. I never felt "masculine". However, I would never go out in public without earrings and at least lipgross.
My 1st big chop was much like your current style, with some straight pieces on top. I decided to do an additional chop, actually cutting my hair down to the curl, taking all the straight pieces off. I still had twice as much hair on top, compared to the sides and back. I was sooooo much more in love with my hair. It was much easier to style, and my curls were poppin!
earrings they do all the difference as well as more dramatic eye looks . highlight your collarbone with the Vaseline cocoa body oil .
She is happy good for her she is a pretty woman hairless is good 👍 💕 ☺️
I messed up my hair and to get it probably about as short as yours. The salon workers were not very nice about how it looked, so I definitely had mixed feelings how I looked😅but personally, I think you look super lovely with your cut. I don’t like super short hair on myself, but it really fits you especially when you do your curls. I think your face fits any style..if that makes sense.
Interesting