girl, you should always treat yourself like you're still a child, because you would never hurt a child, right? treat yourself with kindness, always, is what i'm saying :)
My entire life I've been "the smart kid" in class. I suppose I'm actually privileged to be able to say that but it's come with this expectation to become a doctor or a teacher or a scientist or just anything that would make me financially stable or qualify as academic. But the thing is, I want to be a writer. I've known that for so long. Yet when I tell people that they laugh and say "you're too smart to be a writer " "that'll never pay the bills" or "don't waste your brain on the arts" and I'm like ????? Who do you even think you are??
Definitely go for it but also seriously consider taking an option that can pay for your future. The economy we live in is very unstable so please consider doing something that won't leave you stressed and broke. There are loads of options where you can continue to write but also do something that you can use to pay for that.
Cassie J same for my ability in maths but if you know what you want and what you enjoy, do it. Also, you dont have to be one thing for all your life, you can be what you want. You never stop learning.
Cassie J I was the same way. It drives me crazy how people love art yet don't respect those who want to pursue it...they always look at you with that sardonic half smile and say, "well, what's your backup plan?" And although it's annoying and so discouraging sometimes, it does have a grain of truth. As a writer, I highly recommend working full time and writing on the side. It's a lot of work, but if it's what you want, you'll still need to pay the bills until you can make enough as a writer. And even then, you could lose a contract, or not earn your advance back, or just not make enough to support yourself or a family even if you do get published. Never back down on your passions, but always do your research and consider your options logically. And work your butt off. "It takes ten years of hard work to become an overnight success". Best of luck to you.
XxKarenCxX you're gonna make more friends and don't worry about it,you're gonna know some amazing people in your life and maybe not,take time to get to know yourself and make sure to love urself first
heyy, i went through the same thing and yes it was rough but looking back on it i'm glad it happened as if they were true friends and worth having in my life, they would have stayed. sending ya love xx
This made me feel so much better! I recently made the decision to move from the US to the UK to study at uni, turning down a more 'prestigious' university here to instead go to Goldsmiths. Ive always dreamed of living abroad, and studying in the UK will be so much cheaper, but there was still a voice in my head telling me that I will have a better career future if I go to a more respected institution... but skrew it! I wanna go to London and have a career that is globally connected! I'm doing things!
Tennessee Woodiel im a freshman in highschool and how hard was moving to the uk for uni? id totally be down for doing something like that because college here is spendy and i want to leave once done
its weird how my parents are like the opposite of a lot of other parents. my parents always tell me that my education doesnt matter as long as its something i love and that lower paid jobs are ok too, that i dont have to study (which is funny bc they both went to uni). meanwhile im here wishing to go to uni, wishing for a high paid business job and having a high status (it soundes shallow but thats what it is), studying something like law etc... simply bc i like it & i wanna live my life like that
probably because your parents are educated, therefore they know that all the knowledge and money youll earn wont matter if youre not happy.. follow your heart, do what you love😊❤
I was a lot more confident as a 12-year old than as an older teenager. As a kid I had an unusual style but my classmates seemed to like me regardless. Then puberty came and messed things up. I wanted to look like everyone else and 'fit in'. Now as a young adult I take inspiration from my 12-year old self and don't give a shit about what's 'in fashion' or what others might think. :-)
I'm 22, what you said about regretting the things you don't do really got to me. I'm scared of trying new things and I feel I have already missed out on many great experiences.
Alejandra Garcia im in exactly the same boat...same age and all. its a weird age. your not a teen anymore, but your also still so young and not experienced 😂 Its a fun (read: terrifying) time 😉
"Food is fuel" That phrase is one of the few things that keep me sane. It's so simple and so obvious, yet I seem to find myself repeating it over and over again. Thanks Lucy
I'm in year 12. I love you're stance on the stress of being pressured into uni. I will go to uni, I really want to and it is definitely right for me, but school always wants to push you further and further. Hence I am in an oxbridge group, I'm expected to put an application to Cambridge and that is not only stressful in itself, but it's setting people up to be disappointed when they don't get in. Furthermore I'm not sure Cambridge is even right for me. Being a teenager is so flexible that often we are put into choices that there isn't a right answer to, and so it's nearly inevitable that we'all make the wrong one and won't know that we have for many years.
Will_28 if you feel like Cambridge isn't for you, don't apply if you don't want to! Your school might pressure you into it but it is ultimately you who put your UCAS choices in and you who presses send. If you haven't been to Cambridge before though, take a look. I'd been on several visits over the years so my school wanted me to be in the Oxbridge society last year (I'm yr13 now)but I knew in didn't want to go there, I wouldn't get the grades (so more stress) and they didn't have the course I wanted! So I applied to the uni's I wanted including ones with small course or a uni my teachers didn't know existed (Wales is a scary place!!)there were middle-y in league tables because that is where I liked the course I wanted, and now I've got an unconditional to a good uni (Coventry) I really like and couldn't be happier to start in September! I even turned down a reduced grades place at a Russell group uni (Loughborough) as I didn't like the uni at an applicant day. 8yr old me was destined and dreamed of going to Cambridge but even though that isn't happening I'm very happy with my uni choices. apply to wherever you like the course and the uni (now is the time to start going to open days), as in the end league tables don't determine your experience there,and it's at least 3 years of your life. (sorry this is super long, just thought I'd try and help!)
Will_28 truly ^^ is the right answer. Personally , even though my grades are good right now and many people may expect me to apply, I know that there is no way I would thrive at the Oxbridge environment because it just is not my place - a friend who is currently there has described it to me and I just know I could not even cope! Consider it carefully (though don't not go if you want to and you understand what it will be like) And don't be put off by others cos it is your life!
Will_28 I'm in Year 13 now but last year, I was put in to the Oxbridge group. I even went to a taster lecture. But it just wasn't me... Not one bit. I think it's so important to fall in love with a uni as well as the course! It's brilliant if your uni offers both: a fantastic course and you love it. Honestly though, when you visit, you will KNOW which uni you can see yourself at. Follow your heart, that's where you'll be happiest. (Also, not applying to Oxbridge is no way a reflection on your academic ability. I received four unconditional offers because I chose a course I was ridiculously in love with. Go do you!)
I was in a similar position when I was in sixth form, but what I would say is that if it doesn't feel right and you don't really want to go, I don't think it's a good idea to apply really! It was hugely time consuming and incredibly stressful, when I should have been concentrating on my A-Levels. Plus, if it's not something you really want to do, it's very difficult to have that drive to push you to work hard for it - Cambridge interviewers can tell if it's not something you really want. Plus, so many people I know who went to Oxbridge because of pressure are now really regretting it because they could have had a much more enjoyable time at a different university - depends how much you want prestige though!
i do agree with what everyone has said to you about this, but as someone who is at cambridge, i can tell you a lot of the rumours and stereotypes arent true. yes it is high pressure, but you make incredible friends because of that, because you need each other to help you though. i really wasn't sure if it was gonna be right for me, i was tempted to turn down the offer and go to york, but i am so glad i didnt, as lucy said you only regret the chances you dont take. i have lots of friends who applied and didnt get in, but i really dont think they lost anything through that. see the interview as an opportunity, and make sure your other 4 UCAS options are places you genuinely want to go and there is no loss in applying. if you get an offer you are under no obligation to take it.
I'm fifteen, nearly sixteen, and this really made me think about my sense of self and what I want to do with my future, which a video hasn't done in a verryyy long time this advice was actually extremely helpful for me, instead of the meaningless crap you hear a million times like "just be yourself lol", so genuinely thank you
I actually love it when Lucy does stuff like #veda :3 I've been doing it myself and it's soooo stressful but your doing an amazing jobbb !!! How do you make it seem so effortless amazing
Wow thank you, this was good timing. I'm currently deciding between college and art school and I think this has kinda inspired me to follow my dreams (still super conflicted and scared about money but it'll be okay)
As I recent art graduate here are a few things I can point out. 1) You don't have to go to art school to get a degree in art. See if there are any good accredited universities/colleges near by or out of state that have a good arts program. 2) Cover GEDs first. It's fine if you want to go to a 4 year university from the start if your budget allows. 3) Although these days, most budget savvy students cover general education at an accredited community college for two years first before transferring to university and finish the last 2 years there. 4) If you have an idea of what you want to do at university and want to start community college first, research the academic requirements for the degree you're interested in. There will be degree related classes, typically stuff like beginner painting and sculpting classes, that you will need to do before you transfer to a state university or elsewhere. 5) Avoid for-profit colleges. Asides the fact that many aren't accredited, or sometimes claim that they are accredited, the credits you earn from taking courses at these kinds of colleges often don't transfer to other schools.
I'm 20, so not a teenager, but I applied for uni (sweden) today. It's like my dream course in the biggest university-city in sweden (it'll be amazing), although I'm still utterly terrified of officially making the choise (since it means that I'm moving out to a new city). Hearing your little “just do it”-rant was exactly what I needed! So thank you. Oh, and don't worry about you being “behind”. I so believe in the butterfly effect, so if you wouldn't have gone to uni it wouldn't be this you sitting here today. So yeah, you are behind that other version of you, but that isn't you, so in a way this all is irrelevant. Totally understand you though, have a similar situation in my own hands. Take care!
hello stranger on the internet! just to tell you that you're probably stronger and braver than you think. i'm 22 and just moved to the countryside in japan and my japanese is only useful for talking about everyday things so doing stuff like getting a bank account has been a Trial. but you get through it, and it makes you stronger and realise you had what it takes all along. Good luck with applying! I hope you get in!! You're going to have such a great time, I'm so excited for you :D
Hi fellow stranger! Thank you so much for this message. It, without a doubt, made my day. This is why I love the internet. I wish you the best of luck with whatever comes your way. As you said, it'll work itself out. and japanese is such a cool language! kudos to you! (studying chinese so I know the struggle) ;p
Last summer I finished Uni with a masters degree in engineering. I've always found it hard to decide on just one thing to do. A degree in engineering opens a whole lot of different career oppertunities and it gives you stability. However, with that beeing said: What you do 9-5 isn't the whole you. You can still enjoy stuff outside of work, like making music or whatever your "real" passions are. I still find my job challenging and interesting, but it's up and down just like everything else. I'm sure there would still be ups and downs even if I worked 9-5 with my passion. Point is: there's never just one thing you can do or have to do - you can do it all. At least whilst you're not completly settled down with a family etc... Thank you for an interesting video, Lucy!
Thank you, I'm a fifteen year old girl surrounded by people that sometimes make me feel lonely and different. One of my friend lost her virginity and always talks about her sleeping with her boyfriend which makes me feel guilty for still being a virgin. Not only that, but most of my "friends" already have boyfriends and tried drugs, which makes me feel weird and out of place...Like you said I also feel ashamed for not being like everyone else. But don't worry, I'm still hanging in there. Hopefully one day I look back and laugh at how silly this all is.
It's just really hard sometimes being in a crowd that expect you to be a certain way. And that gives me anxiety and stress because I just can't find a way to say what I truly feel.
Strange Miracle Trust me , from a older person. Drugs and sex , don't worry about them until you are ready , trust me I tried drugs they aren't the best. Edit ; Also , if they make you feel guilty. I really don't see why you should be friends with them , I also put up from a lot of that stuff also.
Isn't it a shame that this is a regular occurance of things teenagers worry about! As a 16 year old I feel the same. I feel as though I should be ashamed that I'm a virgin, although I know myself it's nothing to be ashamed of! During summer we are having parties to celebrate finishing school and people who I thought were my bestest friends make me feel insecure because I don't drink and I don't act "slutty" with male friends. You shouldn't feel ashamed! Maybe your friends are having fun in their way of life trying them things but you do you and honestly it will be just as good! Like in parties I don't drink or force myself into anyone yet I have made so many new friends!
Hey Lucy! I'm 17 and I just wanted to tell you that this video helped me a lot. I'm currently in grade 12 (last school year) and everyone is talking about wanting to study law or politics to be financially stable in life and literally no one is risking to follow their creative dreams for instance: writing a book, making music or just drawing. I knew that I won't fit into that definition of success that society created: follow the footsteps of society's expectations and study medicine or law to be "successful" even tho that won't make you happy in the long run to work over 20years somewhere you are not passionate about. You really helped me to not stress about these things and to just do what makes me happy. To learn to work for your dreams and live to please yourself and no one else. I started to make a drum cover channel on TH-cam I've always wanted to do, so thank you Lucy! You are an inspiration!
Lucy i don't know why but the more i watch you the more i feel like I'm listening to an older sister and getting advice. I love your authenticity and how raw/real your videos come across. Such a big inspiration!
I don't know why but watching Lucy always makes me feel comfortable, it is like I am having a cup of coffee in my hands too and chatting with her. Kinda like being with a friend. I like this feeling.
THANK YOU! Next year I'm going into grade twelve and I'm really stressed about picking the right courses and all of that. I'm a creative person who wants to write books, make films, and is very interested in history, and come from a place where creatives are generally seen as people who won't succeed in life, this was very helpful to me :)
this was so great! I could have used these notes as a teenager. I thought my whole teenage life that I am not creative because I can't sing and I am not musical yet I always had a feeling that I want to create things. But i was so obsessed into passing high school and getting into university so I could have a career that never really found my creative aptitude until now. I wish I would have let my self explore a little more :)
Kia Charlotta I'm the same, I even stopped doing hobbies because I didn't want that to distract from my studies. I'm starting to become more creative now and feel much happier :)
I'm nearly 20 and daaamn looking back at my early-mid teens this is SO true! Anyone that is in that period and having a rough time, honestly it'll get better - I used to suffer from severe anxiety and depression to the extent I could barely leave the house and now i'm going out there making steps to make my goals a reality and it feels amazing!
My tips experiences as a 14 year old: - FORGIVE - Try to **accept**, it’s ok to be wrong sometimes in a fight or a conversation and admitting it to yourself - “love those who hate you and bless those who curse you” - “Put yourself in some els shoes” really try to do that, when you really deeply think about THAT one person you’ll know your wrong and just give love (people really need it) - Delete apps that distract you - Don’t obsess yourself with a boy, who doesn’t even appreciates you or sees you as THAT one. Move on, don’t “”waste”” your precious time when you can be doing something else for yourself -I have so much to talk about, things that I learned from experience. I want you guys to know so you don’t make the same mistakes. Please really try to be GOOD I mean it and (“Don’t be trap in someone else’s dream” (life). ) ☺️🧸🤎💜💜
I NEEDED THIS OH MY GOD. i do the whole apologizing and taking the blame thing soooo much it's ridiculous. i was just thinking about it today. when it comes to my past friendships and relationships there has been occasions where that pent up resentment ruins the relationship. also the whole uni decision time has come for me and it's so intense. i have gotten into schools there's just a lot of choice that comes with it. i don't want to feel as if im missing on something. anyways thanks so much for the wonderful video lucy!! :~)
i love hearing things everyone else would tell themselves, its interesting to see how they compare to what i'd tell myself. lovely video as always, lucy ✨
I enjoy listening to you because you can put across your point and it be directed at the younger generation yet in no way do you sound patronising which is a very hard thing to do however you do it effortlessly.
I have to say this really helped me and I am so glad I took the time to check out this video! Granted, I am 3 months late. But nevertheless, your words really struck a chord with me and I think I'll carry your advice with me moving forwards. For example, recently I have been wanting to re-do my room. I'm about to turn 18 and I just wanted a very grown up look, so in an attempt to feel mature I've been going through my things, tossing out stuff I don't need, and discussing with my dad options for new furniture. The only thing I have not touched is my posters. I have so many posters littering my entire room, all depicting my undying love for different TV shows and artists. I had plans to pack them away and leave my walls bare, putting up those cool minimalistic wall hangings to be aesthetically pleasing. But watching your video I realized that isn't me. I like my messy room and stuffed animals and walls full of colorful posters. Because they make my room, MY room. This is only ONE of the many things I have taken away from your video, but it really made me happy to remember I don't have to stick to the crowd in order to 'fit in'. Have a nice day, Lucy! And thanks again. c:
Guilt and shame eat me up so much too. I do things that I not long after regret and then I end up punishing myself by being self destructive.. can someone help me please?
Bathroom Jams that's the worst feeling. Just always keep in mind you are human, u make mistakes...people fuck up and that's alright..just forgive yourself, and know that the fact you even feel shame/guilt means you do care a lot about others..just manifest that into forgiveness and learning
I'm 15 and constantly being judged, as are all the other people in my year. I feel like society nowadays is constantly telling us how to look etc and school exaggerates that. You have the "popular" kids and you feel as if you need to look and act like them to up you ur social status. Be who you want to be and don't be afraid of yourself x
The last point is so important ! Do what fills you with passion and love because anything else will only make you sad. I've been wanting to become a teacher since grade 7 and everything I did ( school wise ) was to get me into my favorite University. And it happened. And as hard as Uni can be somtimes, I'm loving it because it's the thing I'm so motivated for and teaching young people feels like the one thing I was put on earth for lol ( and I'm not spiritual or religious in any way) . Do what you wanna do BUT stay realistic.
Thank you for this💌 I'm from the US and I always imagined myself being a trauma surgeon But in the past two years I've changed directions and decided to apply to art schools in the UK and Ireland (other locations as well) I don't know anyone personally whose done it Yet I feel drawn in that direction It's scary yet so riveting Ughhhh being a teenager is is the same So thank you for this ❤
a lot of people tend to judge me because each year I'll try and sit with a new group of friends if I'm not comfortable with the one I used to hang out with the year before. but I like it I'm actually so proud of this because a whole year I'd try and see if I feel like they care about me or I'm truly me with them which I wouldn't have done a few years ago. I'm only 15 years old now anyways but I've always had trouble with friends so I'm happy with what I'm doing now... :)
my sleeping patterns messed right now, can always rely on you for a good late night watch! I honestly wish I hadn't tried so much to blend in even now sometimes at 20 years old, I feel like I want to be apart of groups and then when you're apart of them you actually realise they aren't the best people to be around. feeling you with this video! ✨
I can completely relate to desperately wanting to fit in and disappear into the crowd. During my younger years, there was nothing I wanted more than to just fade into the background. Though that turned out to be impossible. I stuck out for all the wrong reasons. I was an immigrant who didn't spoke the language so well. I was taller than almost everyone (it's hard to miss someone who towers over even the boys) and very boyish which had people making guesses about my sexuality. The fact that everyone also seemed aware of the my family issues didn't help things. For so long, I was so uncomfortable that I was noticeable and that notability wasn't something I could change. I can't change the fact that I am an immigrant or a more masculine girl. That's just apart who I am. I had to learn to except that which with time I did and I'm happier for it.
You're one of my biggest role models, honestly. Whenever I watch your videos it's like an escape from my high school life, an escape from the stress and anxiety and I thank you for that :)
thank you. I honestly don't know what else to say. this video truly inspired me to go down the path of film and photography instead of being an actress like the rest of my "friends". I've been on the fence about this since junior high and I was really going to repress my aspirations to be with people I can't really stand. thank you so much Lucy
Your second point really hit home, about rolling over and apologising or taking the blame for something that isn't your fault. I lost a friendship because eventually I stopped trying to fix our friendship by taking blame wrongly. Eventually I realised that I had nothing to apologise for. I tried, hard, tried to be civil - but why make all the effort, eh? anyway, life is so much more positive without her.
loved the point about what is healthy. worrying about that is a major anxiety in my life and hearing you say that nothing is set in stone was very affirming. love you :)
The being yourself point is soooooo needed right now. I'm about to go off to university and honestly I just needed to be reminded that I don't need to change who I am because everyone there is going to be different
Yeah It's better to take your time than to rush into something. I took two gap years to figure it out. I don't regret taking my time. Sorry that I'm not Lucy but I thought I'd reply anyway!
I used to care so much about what other people thought of me and I still kinda do. But the main difference is that I have learnt the difference between being seen as a kind person (which is important to me) and being afraid to wear what I want or dance in a weird way to fit in. I wish I knew this way before, but one time someone told me that they think it is so cool that I could be made fun off for wearing some clothes one day and wear them again the next. Also, I learnt that the coolest people I know of don't strive for approval from others. Ultimately, there's only one person that you for certain will be with for the rest of your life and that is yourself. So be kind to yourself (and others).
"it never crossed my mind not to go." I was definitely in the same boat. For the career I hope to have though, it required going to uni, and my stress was whether to stay at home in Northern Ireland (where the fees were cheaper but the course was shit) or put St Andrews as my firm choice (triple the tuition fees, much higher grade requirements, and in Scotland, but the best in the UK for my choice). I was told by so many people that it was too competitive, too expensive and unlikely that I'd get scholarships, etc etc. I think that was the first time I really believed in myself when making a big decision - I ended up getting well over my grade requirements in my A Levels, got three scholarships to cover my fees and am having the best time here. It terrifies me to think what my life would've been like if I'd stayed at home out of fear of failing, fear of putting myself out there. This video reminded me of that. Thank you so much, Lucy x
I watch this every so often and it is SUCH an important reminder for me to keep me grounded and make sure I'm doing what I want to do and not just what other people tell me to. Thank you love you
Appreciate this video! as a 16 year old boy who's hoping to go and do an apprenticeship in engineering so many things cross my mind like; i don't enjoy maths so whats to guarantee it's the right move? am i only choosing a career in engineering as i feel it will bring financial security? Genuinely anyone went through similar situations?
I'm in a similar situation but I'm trying to sort it out. I've been told by several different engineers that although you do need the basic math skills you don't need to be great at/ enjoy maths. It might also be that maths isn't that enjoyable because of the way it's taught in schools. Think about why you don't like maths. (I've had certain subjects which I've been given so much shit by the teacher/been so fed up of the other students that I hated them when otherwise I would have really enjoyed it) Is it difficult? You don't like the teacher? The way it's taught is frustrating? Your class has people you don't like? None of these are even close to reasons to give up, it's only if doing maths itself makes you unhappy that you should reconsider. Hopefully you at least enjoy physics. I suggest doing some work experience with an engineering company and seeing whether you actually enjoy it. Engineering can be so many different things so you could probably find something you enjoyed if you became an engineer. Also consider other career paths you will enjoy just because you don't want to close off all your options just yet. Somebody asked me once what I want to do and as soon as I replied I don't know he said good. He said that he wasted a lot of his life because from an early age he had been fixated on becoming a teacher, and while he did enjoy the job for a while he stayed in it for far longer than he should have done when he no longer enjoyed it.
thank you so much for this, as a very much so confused in multiple areas of life 17 yr old, it really made me feel better, helped and comforted me by reminding that I won't be stuck in all these dilemmas forever
The one about not worrying about what your naked body looks like is something I genuinely needed to hear right now. I'm finding it so hard to connect with anyone on that kind of level because I'm so insecure. Maybe I'll just remember this from now on
The thing about fitting in really got me, after about 3 years of high school I stopped trying to fit in and just started being myself and wearing whatever I wanted to wear which usually consisted of dr martens, black ripped skinny jeans and some sort of metal band t-shirt with backcombed hair and heavy eyeliner. Safe to say I've toned it down as I've matured, but that was me for a while and I'm glad I didn't try to fit in too much during the middle of high school, especially in a school that wanted everyone to look the same
So, true. I told one of my friends last week. How this circle of expectations and some people do not do what they want. But instead do what other people expect of them.
I'm in my twelfth year of high school, so naturally i spent all of today having multiple existential crisis's over what I'm going to study at uni once i finish, all the while feeling that everything was an obligation. Long story short, this made video made me cry bc idk you just hit all the right points, so thank you xx
that first one relates so much. Im 6'3 and Ive been over 6'' since I was 12. People ALWAYS noticed me because of it...and I was SHY. I always tried to fade into the backround by never talking, wearing plain clothes etc.
I wish I didn't hate on the "girly girls" in my teenage years, but honestly I still can't tell if it was because there was a mean girl clique in my class or because I was not liking them.... PS. Any new youtubers wanting to support each other??
This is exactly what I needed. It's so nice to come home after a long day and just wind down with a vid from Lucy. SO glad you're doing veda this month
Thank you for this video, Lucy. Although I have just passed my years as a teenager, it's so important to realise there are many paths to one goal, not just going to university. Here in Switzerland, only about 20% of people actually do an equivalent of a-levels and then study an academic subject at uni. Most people do an apprenticeship at an actual company while learning the theory at school a couple days of the week. With an apprenticeship diploma you gain so much practical knowledge and are usually preferred by employers over someone who has been sitting in school all their life. I definitely think the UK and the US could take a page from switzerland's book! ;)
I think this was such an important video. Thank you for making it. I 100% agree with the stress it takes to buck social trends, and the social pressure to go to university and get a 'respectable' job. I swallowed my pride after a year of A levels and did a creative BTEC- the lesser regarded route. I've now been accepted into Central Saint Martins this September, and been offered places out of 5/5 of my uni choices. This would NOT have been possible had I not made that change. BTECs are valid, and they really do take you places. I'm really not trying to brag, I just hope to inspire someone to study what they are interested in regardless of the pretext.
It sounds so simple saying it. I'd say the same thing to myself and other teens. but it's hard when you are that age. But anyone reading this; really listen to the advice: be yourself. Don't care too much what others say or do. If you do something own up to it, don't ever apologize for being you. That being said; be kind to others and let them express and be themselves too.
I really enjoy/appreciate these sorts of longer videos where you share your experiences. I find it really useful at the stage I am in my life when other people talk about the different paths and options that are available as sometimes my views on how I want to progress become so clouded by the opinions of people who, despite wanting the best for me, don't necessarily consider the direction I want to go in life. Videos like this are genuinely so fucking helpful as it helps me look at how you've experienced progression and how that relates to myself. ❤
Mutual apologies!!! Oh my god this is such a big thing for me now. One of my (now ex) best friends used to kind of force me to take the full blame any time we fell out or I upset her and it really fucked me up emotionally.
I was always told not to have debt and put off school, which I found some cheap courses that transfer to an accredited university now. But spent 5 years not doing what I've dreamed about doing since I was 3 because I was told that there's no way I can afford school and I would fail if I had debt and would live in poverty if I did school first and I should just marry someone and give them kids instead of bothering with a dead end debt inducing career. I live in not the best circumstances now because I spent so long in menial jobs, but am getting out of it slowly and loving life because it's the path that I chose.
Taylor Herbertson sea salt spray works wonders :) you can buy it in superdrug/boots/some big supermarkets (i'm assuming you're in the uk - if not, you can probably find sea salt spray in most drug stores) :)
I never thought that I'd be saying that one day, but sometimes I miss being a teenager. I didn't realise all the goods things I had, like still having both my parents, not to have to worry about money, no responsability except for doing OK at school...I was too focused about not being slim enough, pretty enough, cool enough...It seems so ridiculous now. So if I could say something to my teenage self, it would be open your fucking eyes, you're one of the lucky ones (for now)
honestly makes me feel so much better!! 17 and last uear of high school with the expectations to go to uni and get money and get a job and be an adult and its crushing this really helped me sort of realise that uni isnt the be and end all and there is always more to life thank you!
I understand where you are coming from when you were talking about having a "normal life" in a way. Going to college, getting a good degree in a stable career path, getting married, having kids, and such. That just sounds incredibly dull (I guess there are a lot of moments in between that though), but I don't think I would ever be happy living that way. I actually have a secret aspiration of doing TH-cam, and I know it will be really hard to succeed with how many creators there are now. I don't want to do it for the money either, I want to do so I could somehow help others, be creatively free, and just, more or less, do my own thing to a certain extent. It's really confusing, and I'm scared to put myself out there though.
I am so grateful for this video. From the friendship issues to food to uni, I needed to hear those things so badly. I currently go to an all girls grammar school (ugh) and the ultimate goal is to go to Oxbridge, become a lawyer etc etc. But I want to do performing arts. I'm a dancer. My passion lies in dancing. I also love acting and singing. I've been told that I do have what it takes to actually get somewhat into the industry. But when my school heard that...um...lets just say they were not supportive. 'Oh just do 4 academic A-levels as back up' - which I understand in a sense as a plan B is always a good thing I guess but it isn't what I want to do. I'm so miserable at my current school. I'm doing well academically but the atmosphere is all wrong for me. My goal isn't Oxbridge. And this video just helped me realise that it's okay xx
Im currently at sixth form and i found this video so helpful! Especially when it comes to universities my college pushes us to go so much! Luckily enough for me i know what i want to do and i need a degree to achieve that but so many of my friends have no idea what to stidy but are still looking round universities ready to apply next yr when they figure out what career they want. It seems a lot like in many cases nowsdsys people use university as a way to waste time so they can figure out what they want to do with their lives.
thank you for making this video. a really similar situation happened to me where my friend had an anger problem and she would take it out on me. although all of our other friends knew this about her none of them would say anything. the one time i confronted her about it she blew up at me like she always did. I ended up apologizing even though i knew i wasn't in the wrong. i am no longer friends with any of them and they all hang out with out me and it hurts. but this video helped me realize that those friends weren't real friends and I am better off without them. thank you.
This was much needed. My GCSE'S are a month away, & teachers are drilling it in my head that these days will make up my future, as in the 6th form/college I'll go to, leading to the uni then job etc. And I've never had a huge passion for that. I love education but not school lmao. idek
7:30 speaking on the topic of Instagram, I have a popular 'aesthetic' account. It's my only account and I've had it for three years. I went through a lot having it. Firstly I tried extremely hard to build my theme, look a certain way, have a lot of followers etc. This really effected my life. I put so much pressure on myself that I couldn't function. Now, I just post what I want to post and the goal isn't looking good or having lots of followers/likes. I buy whatever clothes I want, I wear my hair and makeup however I want. I get more compliments now on how cool I am etc. than I did then. I'm not saying these super popular accounts are real. They probably aren't. Most of these people are really insecure! I recommend only following the accounts that bring you joy and not pressure 💖
Thank you for this! I really needed to hear these ♡ There are some things you have to experience yourself to learn and grow as a person, but it's super helpful to get advice and just avoid mistakes in the first place! I just mean, it's okay to make mistakes and you shouldn't be ashamed of things you've done that you might find embarrassing, or the life choices you've made. To anyone, they made you the person you are today!
honestly, I have watched a lot of this teenage advice videos and THIS WAS THE BEST! I felt like an inner voice was talking to me deep down from my heart. THANK YOU
girl, you should always treat yourself like you're still a child, because you would never hurt a child, right? treat yourself with kindness, always, is what i'm saying :)
lazysun1 I love this viewpoint!! 😌👌
lazysun1 I
That’s not true. As a child, I hurt myself. Yep. Okay
The number of like on this comment of 666
My entire life I've been "the smart kid" in class. I suppose I'm actually privileged to be able to say that but it's come with this expectation to become a doctor or a teacher or a scientist or just anything that would make me financially stable or qualify as academic. But the thing is, I want to be a writer. I've known that for so long. Yet when I tell people that they laugh and say "you're too smart to be a writer " "that'll never pay the bills" or "don't waste your brain on the arts" and I'm like ????? Who do you even think you are??
Cassie J you go for it! don't listen to them. they'll be wanting to be buying your books when you're older 💜💜.Go prove them wrong!!
Definitely go for it but also seriously consider taking an option that can pay for your future. The economy we live in is very unstable so please consider doing something that won't leave you stressed and broke. There are loads of options where you can continue to write but also do something that you can use to pay for that.
Cassie J same for my ability in maths but if you know what you want and what you enjoy, do it. Also, you dont have to be one thing for all your life, you can be what you want. You never stop learning.
Cassie J I was the same way. It drives me crazy how people love art yet don't respect those who want to pursue it...they always look at you with that sardonic half smile and say, "well, what's your backup plan?" And although it's annoying and so discouraging sometimes, it does have a grain of truth. As a writer, I highly recommend working full time and writing on the side. It's a lot of work, but if it's what you want, you'll still need to pay the bills until you can make enough as a writer. And even then, you could lose a contract, or not earn your advance back, or just not make enough to support yourself or a family even if you do get published. Never back down on your passions, but always do your research and consider your options logically. And work your butt off. "It takes ten years of hard work to become an overnight success". Best of luck to you.
wattpad for practice, trust me
As a 13 who just lost all of my friends, thank you.
XxKarenCxX I hope you feel better,
oh no omg ): things'll get better ♡
XxKarenCxX you're gonna make more friends and don't worry about it,you're gonna know some amazing people in your life and maybe not,take time to get to know yourself and make sure to love urself first
Thank you all, just kinda a rough time ya know? But the comments make it easier :)
heyy, i went through the same thing and yes it was rough but looking back on it i'm glad it happened as if they were true friends and worth having in my life, they would have stayed. sending ya love xx
This made me feel so much better! I recently made the decision to move from the US to the UK to study at uni, turning down a more 'prestigious' university here to instead go to Goldsmiths. Ive always dreamed of living abroad, and studying in the UK will be so much cheaper, but there was still a voice in my head telling me that I will have a better career future if I go to a more respected institution... but skrew it! I wanna go to London and have a career that is globally connected! I'm doing things!
Tennessee Woodiel im a freshman in highschool and how hard was moving to the uk for uni? id totally be down for doing something like that because college here is spendy and i want to leave once done
Tennessee Woodiel Eyyyy I'm in the USA and I'll be applying to Goldsmiths next year! Good luck with the move!
Tennessee Woodiel good luck you're brave ☺
My dream is to move to UK but I'm scared to move away from my friends and family
Goldsmiths is an amazing university. To those of you thinking about moving, just do it.
Here I am procrastinating from sleep, after a busy day of procrastinating from revision
Charlie I hope ur sleeping very well. ( if u r)🌿🌸✨🌙
Charlie sameeee A-Levels are hell 😭
Charlie you're basically Dan Howell then?
literally me right now
I'm in the exact same position, oh god why did I do Further Maths...
its weird how my parents are like the opposite of a lot of other parents. my parents always tell me that my education doesnt matter as long as its something i love and that lower paid jobs are ok too, that i dont have to study (which is funny bc they both went to uni).
meanwhile im here wishing to go to uni, wishing for a high paid business job and having a high status (it soundes shallow but thats what it is), studying something like law etc... simply bc i like it & i wanna live my life like that
+Mandy Stahr follow your dream! 💕💕
I'm exactly the same!!
Mandy Stahr exactly same here!
Mandy Stahr omgggg same
probably because your parents are educated, therefore they know that all the knowledge and money youll earn wont matter if youre not happy.. follow your heart, do what you love😊❤
I was a lot more confident as a 12-year old than as an older teenager. As a kid I had an unusual style but my classmates seemed to like me regardless. Then puberty came and messed things up. I wanted to look like everyone else and 'fit in'. Now as a young adult I take inspiration from my 12-year old self and don't give a shit about what's 'in fashion' or what others might think. :-)
Rein4 this happened to my friend, but she's still a teenager
That sex advice is actually GENUINELY GREAT. it makes so much sense like how havent i thought about that before
I wonder if her tea got cold
I'm 22, what you said about regretting the things you don't do really got to me. I'm scared of trying new things and I feel I have already missed out on many great experiences.
Alejandra Garcia im in exactly the same boat...same age and all. its a weird age. your not a teen anymore, but your also still so young and not experienced 😂 Its a fun (read: terrifying) time 😉
i'm the same too and i used to take some many risks before
"Food is fuel" That phrase is one of the few things that keep me sane. It's so simple and so obvious, yet I seem to find myself repeating it over and over again. Thanks Lucy
I feel really shit rn so hopefully this will make me feel better ❤️
shenice johnson i hope you feel better tomorrow ❤️
shenice johnson hope you feel better tomorrow! Much love x
shenice johnson I really hope you're better!
I couldn't sleep and this has made me feel so much better , thank you Lucy !
i feel like I get so scared of getting judged and ridiculed that it stopes me from trying and this just spoke to me on another level
I'm in year 12. I love you're stance on the stress of being pressured into uni. I will go to uni, I really want to and it is definitely right for me, but school always wants to push you further and further. Hence I am in an oxbridge group, I'm expected to put an application to Cambridge and that is not only stressful in itself, but it's setting people up to be disappointed when they don't get in. Furthermore I'm not sure Cambridge is even right for me. Being a teenager is so flexible that often we are put into choices that there isn't a right answer to, and so it's nearly inevitable that we'all make the wrong one and won't know that we have for many years.
Will_28 if you feel like Cambridge isn't for you, don't apply if you don't want to! Your school might pressure you into it but it is ultimately you who put your UCAS choices in and you who presses send. If you haven't been to Cambridge before though, take a look. I'd been on several visits over the years so my school wanted me to be in the Oxbridge society last year (I'm yr13 now)but I knew in didn't want to go there, I wouldn't get the grades (so more stress) and they didn't have the course I wanted! So I applied to the uni's I wanted including ones with small course or a uni my teachers didn't know existed (Wales is a scary place!!)there were middle-y in league tables because that is where I liked the course I wanted, and now I've got an unconditional to a good uni (Coventry) I really like and couldn't be happier to start in September! I even turned down a reduced grades place at a Russell group uni (Loughborough) as I didn't like the uni at an applicant day. 8yr old me was destined and dreamed of going to Cambridge but even though that isn't happening I'm very happy with my uni choices. apply to wherever you like the course and the uni (now is the time to start going to open days), as in the end league tables don't determine your experience there,and it's at least 3 years of your life. (sorry this is super long, just thought I'd try and help!)
Will_28 truly ^^ is the right answer. Personally , even though my grades are good right now and many people may expect me to apply, I know that there is no way I would thrive at the Oxbridge environment because it just is not my place - a friend who is currently there has described it to me and I just know I could not even cope! Consider it carefully (though don't not go if you want to and you understand what it will be like) And don't be put off by others cos it is your life!
Will_28 I'm in Year 13 now but last year, I was put in to the Oxbridge group. I even went to a taster lecture. But it just wasn't me... Not one bit. I think it's so important to fall in love with a uni as well as the course! It's brilliant if your uni offers both: a fantastic course and you love it. Honestly though, when you visit, you will KNOW which uni you can see yourself at. Follow your heart, that's where you'll be happiest. (Also, not applying to Oxbridge is no way a reflection on your academic ability. I received four unconditional offers because I chose a course I was ridiculously in love with. Go do you!)
I was in a similar position when I was in sixth form, but what I would say is that if it doesn't feel right and you don't really want to go, I don't think it's a good idea to apply really! It was hugely time consuming and incredibly stressful, when I should have been concentrating on my A-Levels. Plus, if it's not something you really want to do, it's very difficult to have that drive to push you to work hard for it - Cambridge interviewers can tell if it's not something you really want. Plus, so many people I know who went to Oxbridge because of pressure are now really regretting it because they could have had a much more enjoyable time at a different university - depends how much you want prestige though!
i do agree with what everyone has said to you about this, but as someone who is at cambridge, i can tell you a lot of the rumours and stereotypes arent true. yes it is high pressure, but you make incredible friends because of that, because you need each other to help you though. i really wasn't sure if it was gonna be right for me, i was tempted to turn down the offer and go to york, but i am so glad i didnt, as lucy said you only regret the chances you dont take. i have lots of friends who applied and didnt get in, but i really dont think they lost anything through that. see the interview as an opportunity, and make sure your other 4 UCAS options are places you genuinely want to go and there is no loss in applying. if you get an offer you are under no obligation to take it.
I'm fifteen, nearly sixteen, and this really made me think about my sense of self and what I want to do with my future, which a video hasn't done in a verryyy long time
this advice was actually extremely helpful for me, instead of the meaningless crap you hear a million times like "just be yourself lol", so genuinely thank you
7:20 I genuinely thought Lucy said 'they also do ket quite a lot' I feel it gives the following few seconds a new meaning.
+Neil Waldron looool they probably did that too
Neil Waldron omg I'm so glad I wasn't the only one to hear that 😂😂
im still hearing 'they also do ket quite a lot' i seriously dont know what was actually said thats all i hear
imogen miller I think it's "They do *care* quite a lot."
What does "ket" mean ?
I actually love it when Lucy does stuff like #veda :3 I've been doing it myself and it's soooo stressful but your doing an amazing jobbb !!! How do you make it seem so effortless amazing
She is so calming.
I love her.
Wow thank you, this was good timing. I'm currently deciding between college and art school and I think this has kinda inspired me to follow my dreams (still super conflicted and scared about money but it'll be okay)
Kellen Kennedy hugs and sending positive vibes 🌔🌿🌈🌻💜
Kellen Kennedy Do what you love ❤️
Kellen Kennedy do what makes you happy, you only have one life so make it a story you'll be proud to tell
As I recent art graduate here are a few things I can point out.
1) You don't have to go to art school to get a degree in art. See if there are any good accredited universities/colleges near by or out of state that have a good arts program.
2) Cover GEDs first. It's fine if you want to go to a 4 year university from the start if your budget allows.
3) Although these days, most budget savvy students cover general education at an accredited community college for two years first before transferring to university and finish the last 2 years there.
4) If you have an idea of what you want to do at university and want to start community college first, research the academic requirements for the degree you're interested in. There will be degree related classes, typically stuff like beginner painting and sculpting classes, that you will need to do before you transfer to a state university or elsewhere.
5) Avoid for-profit colleges. Asides the fact that many aren't accredited, or sometimes claim that they are accredited, the credits you earn from taking courses at these kinds of colleges often don't transfer to other schools.
I'm 20, so not a teenager, but I applied for uni (sweden) today. It's like my dream course in the biggest university-city in sweden (it'll be amazing), although I'm still utterly terrified of officially making the choise (since it means that I'm moving out to a new city). Hearing your little “just do it”-rant was exactly what I needed! So thank you.
Oh, and don't worry about you being “behind”. I so believe in the butterfly effect, so if you wouldn't have gone to uni it wouldn't be this you sitting here today. So yeah, you are behind that other version of you, but that isn't you, so in a way this all is irrelevant. Totally understand you though, have a similar situation in my own hands.
Take care!
hello stranger on the internet! just to tell you that you're probably stronger and braver than you think. i'm 22 and just moved to the countryside in japan and my japanese is only useful for talking about everyday things so doing stuff like getting a bank account has been a Trial. but you get through it, and it makes you stronger and realise you had what it takes all along. Good luck with applying! I hope you get in!! You're going to have such a great time, I'm so excited for you :D
Hi fellow stranger! Thank you so much for this message. It, without a doubt, made my day. This is why I love the internet. I wish you the best of luck with whatever comes your way. As you said, it'll work itself out. and japanese is such a cool language! kudos to you! (studying chinese so I know the struggle) ;p
Last summer I finished Uni with a masters degree in engineering. I've always found it hard to decide on just one thing to do. A degree in engineering opens a whole lot of different career oppertunities and it gives you stability. However, with that beeing said: What you do 9-5 isn't the whole you. You can still enjoy stuff outside of work, like making music or whatever your "real" passions are. I still find my job challenging and interesting, but it's up and down just like everything else. I'm sure there would still be ups and downs even if I worked 9-5 with my passion. Point is: there's never just one thing you can do or have to do - you can do it all. At least whilst you're not completly settled down with a family etc...
Thank you for an interesting video, Lucy!
Thank you, I'm a fifteen year old girl surrounded by people that sometimes make me feel lonely and different. One of my friend lost her virginity and always talks about her sleeping with her boyfriend which makes me feel guilty for still being a virgin. Not only that, but most of my "friends" already have boyfriends and tried drugs, which makes me feel weird and out of place...Like you said I also feel ashamed for not being like everyone else. But don't worry, I'm still hanging in there. Hopefully one day I look back and laugh at how silly this all is.
It's just really hard sometimes being in a crowd that expect you to be a certain way. And that gives me anxiety and stress because I just can't find a way to say what I truly feel.
Strange Miracle Trust me , from a older person.
Drugs and sex , don't worry about them until you are ready , trust me I tried drugs they aren't the best.
Edit ; Also , if they make you feel guilty. I really don't see why you should be friends with them , I also put up from a lot of that stuff also.
Isn't it a shame that this is a regular occurance of things teenagers worry about! As a 16 year old I feel the same. I feel as though I should be ashamed that I'm a virgin, although I know myself it's nothing to be ashamed of! During summer we are having parties to celebrate finishing school and people who I thought were my bestest friends make me feel insecure because I don't drink and I don't act "slutty" with male friends. You shouldn't feel ashamed! Maybe your friends are having fun in their way of life trying them things but you do you and honestly it will be just as good! Like in parties I don't drink or force myself into anyone yet I have made so many new friends!
Thank you for talking about experiencing guilt and shame, and how that effects you. It's not talked about enough, and I, a teenager, need to hear it.
Hey Lucy! I'm 17 and I just wanted to tell you that this video helped me a lot. I'm currently in grade 12 (last school year) and everyone is talking about wanting to study law or politics to be financially stable in life and literally no one is risking to follow their creative dreams for instance: writing a book, making music or just drawing.
I knew that I won't fit into that definition of success that society created: follow the footsteps of society's expectations and study medicine or law to be "successful" even tho that won't make you happy in the long run to work over 20years somewhere you are not passionate about.
You really helped me to not stress about these things and to just do what makes me happy. To learn to work for your dreams and live to please yourself and no one else.
I started to make a drum cover channel on TH-cam I've always wanted to do, so thank you Lucy! You are an inspiration!
i love how laid back and simply edited your videos are. always feel like i'm just sitting down n talking with a good friend
Lucy i don't know why but the more i watch you the more i feel like I'm listening to an older sister and getting advice. I love your authenticity and how raw/real your videos come across. Such a big inspiration!
I don't know why but watching Lucy always makes me feel comfortable, it is like I am having a cup of coffee in my hands too and chatting with her. Kinda like being with a friend. I like this feeling.
THANK YOU! Next year I'm going into grade twelve and I'm really stressed about picking the right courses and all of that. I'm a creative person who wants to write books, make films, and is very interested in history, and come from a place where creatives are generally seen as people who won't succeed in life, this was very helpful to me :)
this was so great! I could have used these notes as a teenager. I thought my whole teenage life that I am not creative because I can't sing and I am not musical yet I always had a feeling that I want to create things. But i was so obsessed into passing high school and getting into university so I could have a career that never really found my creative aptitude until now. I wish I would have let my self explore a little more :)
Kia Charlotta I'm the same, I even stopped doing hobbies because I didn't want that to distract from my studies. I'm starting to become more creative now and feel much happier :)
so happy to hear this Linda
you saved my life with this video. thank you.
This is the most honest, smart and real advice I've ever had in my entire life. Lucy really is wise beyond her years, it's astounding
I'm nearly 20 and daaamn looking back at my early-mid teens this is SO true! Anyone that is in that period and having a rough time, honestly it'll get better - I used to suffer from severe anxiety and depression to the extent I could barely leave the house and now i'm going out there making steps to make my goals a reality and it feels amazing!
My tips experiences as a 14 year old:
- FORGIVE
- Try to **accept**, it’s ok to be wrong sometimes in a fight or a conversation and admitting it to yourself
- “love those who hate you and bless those who curse you”
- “Put yourself in some els shoes” really try to do that, when you really deeply think about THAT one person you’ll know your wrong and just give love (people really need it)
- Delete apps that distract you
- Don’t obsess yourself with a boy, who doesn’t even appreciates you or sees you as THAT one. Move on, don’t “”waste”” your precious time when you can be doing something else for yourself
-I have so much to talk about, things that I learned from experience. I want you guys to know so you don’t make the same mistakes. Please really try to be GOOD I mean it and (“Don’t be trap in someone else’s dream” (life). )
☺️🧸🤎💜💜
I NEEDED THIS OH MY GOD. i do the whole apologizing and taking the blame thing soooo much it's ridiculous. i was just thinking about it today. when it comes to my past friendships and relationships there has been occasions where that pent up resentment ruins the relationship. also the whole uni decision time has come for me and it's so intense. i have gotten into schools there's just a lot of choice that comes with it. i don't want to feel as if im missing on something. anyways thanks so much for the wonderful video lucy!! :~)
i love hearing things everyone else would tell themselves, its interesting to see how they compare to what i'd tell myself. lovely video as always, lucy ✨
Who else was watching teenage Lucy as a teen? Goodness I've been subscribed for so long
I enjoy listening to you because you can put across your point and it be directed at the younger generation yet in no way do you sound patronising which is a very hard thing to do however you do it effortlessly.
I have to say this really helped me and I am so glad I took the time to check out this video! Granted, I am 3 months late. But nevertheless, your words really struck a chord with me and I think I'll carry your advice with me moving forwards. For example, recently I have been wanting to re-do my room. I'm about to turn 18 and I just wanted a very grown up look, so in an attempt to feel mature I've been going through my things, tossing out stuff I don't need, and discussing with my dad options for new furniture. The only thing I have not touched is my posters. I have so many posters littering my entire room, all depicting my undying love for different TV shows and artists. I had plans to pack them away and leave my walls bare, putting up those cool minimalistic wall hangings to be aesthetically pleasing. But watching your video I realized that isn't me. I like my messy room and stuffed animals and walls full of colorful posters. Because they make my room, MY room. This is only ONE of the many things I have taken away from your video, but it really made me happy to remember I don't have to stick to the crowd in order to 'fit in'. Have a nice day, Lucy! And thanks again. c:
I'm 15 and i feel so lucky to have TH-cam because i can watch videos like this one and feel good about me, my life and my future. Thank you so much
As an AS student & complexed 16yr old I needed this!
Thank you so so much, this has really helped me put everything into perspective x
I just found her channel and I'm obsessed. She's so genuine.
Guilt and shame eat me up so much too. I do things that I not long after regret and then I end up punishing myself by being self destructive.. can someone help me please?
Bathroom Jams that's the worst feeling. Just always keep in mind you are human, u make mistakes...people fuck up and that's alright..just forgive yourself, and know that the fact you even feel shame/guilt means you do care a lot about others..just manifest that into forgiveness and learning
Find a friend they can make the darkest times lit(haha)
Anyways, more importantly learn to live with and love yourself
Lucy is such a gem, she just uploaded a new video about making mistakes!!
Thanks for the support guys :) x
Omg ur a whole MOOD
I'm 15 and constantly being judged, as are all the other people in my year. I feel like society nowadays is constantly telling us how to look etc and school exaggerates that. You have the "popular" kids and you feel as if you need to look and act like them to up you ur social status. Be who you want to be and don't be afraid of yourself x
The last point is so important ! Do what fills you with passion and love because anything else will only make you sad. I've been wanting to become a teacher since grade 7 and everything I did ( school wise ) was to get me into my favorite University. And it happened. And as hard as Uni can be somtimes, I'm loving it because it's the thing I'm so motivated for and teaching young people feels like the one thing I was put on earth for lol ( and I'm not spiritual or religious in any way) . Do what you wanna do BUT stay realistic.
We're being spoilt with Lucy videos these days. I don't mind 🙌
Laura Lavens true
Thank you for this💌
I'm from the US and I always imagined myself being a trauma surgeon
But in the past two years I've changed directions and decided to apply to art schools in the UK and Ireland (other locations as well)
I don't know anyone personally whose done it
Yet I feel drawn in that direction
It's scary yet so riveting
Ughhhh being a teenager is is the same
So thank you for this
❤
a lot of people tend to judge me because each year I'll try and sit with a new group of friends if I'm not comfortable with the one I used to hang out with the year before. but I like it I'm actually so proud of this because a whole year I'd try and see if I feel like they care about me or I'm truly me with them which I wouldn't have done a few years ago. I'm only 15 years old now anyways but I've always had trouble with friends so I'm happy with what I'm doing now... :)
my sleeping patterns messed right now, can always rely on you for a good late night watch! I honestly wish I hadn't tried so much to blend in even now sometimes at 20 years old, I feel like I want to be apart of groups and then when you're apart of them you actually realise they aren't the best people to be around. feeling you with this video! ✨
I can completely relate to desperately wanting to fit in and disappear into the crowd. During my younger years, there was nothing I wanted more than to just fade into the background. Though that turned out to be impossible. I stuck out for all the wrong reasons. I was an immigrant who didn't spoke the language so well. I was taller than almost everyone (it's hard to miss someone who towers over even the boys) and very boyish which had people making guesses about my sexuality. The fact that everyone also seemed aware of the my family issues didn't help things.
For so long, I was so uncomfortable that I was noticeable and that notability wasn't something I could change. I can't change the fact that I am an immigrant or a more masculine girl. That's just apart who I am. I had to learn to except that which with time I did and I'm happier for it.
What a great message to young people out there! We all wish we had someone who told us the real-life stuff when we were teenagers!
You're one of my biggest role models, honestly. Whenever I watch your videos it's like an escape from my high school life, an escape from the stress and anxiety and I thank you for that :)
I really adore your hair recently, it looks so nice
thank you. I honestly don't know what else to say. this video truly inspired me to go down the path of film and photography instead of being an actress like the rest of my "friends". I've been on the fence about this since junior high and I was really going to repress my aspirations to be with people I can't really stand. thank you so much Lucy
Your second point really hit home, about rolling over and apologising or taking the blame for something that isn't your fault. I lost a friendship because eventually I stopped trying to fix our friendship by taking blame wrongly. Eventually I realised that I had nothing to apologise for. I tried, hard, tried to be civil - but why make all the effort, eh? anyway, life is so much more positive without her.
loved the point about what is healthy. worrying about that is a major anxiety in my life and hearing you say that nothing is set in stone was very affirming. love you :)
The being yourself point is soooooo needed right now. I'm about to go off to university and honestly I just needed to be reminded that I don't need to change who I am because everyone there is going to be different
always a good time with you lucy ❣️
LOVE your honesty and openness you're making the world a better place xxxxxxxxxx
plus your room is so pretty x
But what happen if you dont know what you want to doo? :/
Explore new things to find out what you do and do not like. Also find out what careers can help society and other people.
Thankss but ive done that and im in the same place. Also, ive accepted that im in conflict and i wont hurry.
Ps. Sorry for my english
Yeah It's better to take your time than to rush into something. I took two gap years to figure it out. I don't regret taking my time. Sorry that I'm not Lucy but I thought I'd reply anyway!
Bea Livingstone Exactly, i really appreciate your answer 💞
I used to care so much about what other people thought of me and I still kinda do. But the main difference is that I have learnt the difference between being seen as a kind person (which is important to me) and being afraid to wear what I want or dance in a weird way to fit in. I wish I knew this way before, but one time someone told me that they think it is so cool that I could be made fun off for wearing some clothes one day and wear them again the next. Also, I learnt that the coolest people I know of don't strive for approval from others.
Ultimately, there's only one person that you for certain will be with for the rest of your life and that is yourself. So be kind to yourself (and others).
"it never crossed my mind not to go." I was definitely in the same boat. For the career I hope to have though, it required going to uni, and my stress was whether to stay at home in Northern Ireland (where the fees were cheaper but the course was shit) or put St Andrews as my firm choice (triple the tuition fees, much higher grade requirements, and in Scotland, but the best in the UK for my choice). I was told by so many people that it was too competitive, too expensive and unlikely that I'd get scholarships, etc etc. I think that was the first time I really believed in myself when making a big decision - I ended up getting well over my grade requirements in my A Levels, got three scholarships to cover my fees and am having the best time here. It terrifies me to think what my life would've been like if I'd stayed at home out of fear of failing, fear of putting myself out there. This video reminded me of that. Thank you so much, Lucy x
I watch this every so often and it is SUCH an important reminder for me to keep me grounded and make sure I'm doing what I want to do and not just what other people tell me to. Thank you love you
Appreciate this video! as a 16 year old boy who's hoping to go and do an apprenticeship in engineering so many things cross my mind like; i don't enjoy maths so whats to guarantee it's the right move? am i only choosing a career in engineering as i feel it will bring financial security? Genuinely anyone went through similar situations?
JackS Films hey! i get you. do you like engineering?
I'm in a similar situation but I'm trying to sort it out.
I've been told by several different engineers that although you do need the basic math skills you don't need to be great at/ enjoy maths. It might also be that maths isn't that enjoyable because of the way it's taught in schools. Think about why you don't like maths. (I've had certain subjects which I've been given so much shit by the teacher/been so fed up of the other students that I hated them when otherwise I would have really enjoyed it) Is it difficult? You don't like the teacher? The way it's taught is frustrating? Your class has people you don't like? None of these are even close to reasons to give up, it's only if doing maths itself makes you unhappy that you should reconsider. Hopefully you at least enjoy physics.
I suggest doing some work experience with an engineering company and seeing whether you actually enjoy it. Engineering can be so many different things so you could probably find something you enjoyed if you became an engineer. Also consider other career paths you will enjoy just because you don't want to close off all your options just yet. Somebody asked me once what I want to do and as soon as I replied I don't know he said good. He said that he wasted a lot of his life because from an early age he had been fixated on becoming a teacher, and while he did enjoy the job for a while he stayed in it for far longer than he should have done when he no longer enjoyed it.
thank you so much for this, as a very much so confused in multiple areas of life 17 yr old, it really made me feel better, helped and comforted me by reminding that I won't be stuck in all these dilemmas forever
The one about not worrying about what your naked body looks like is something I genuinely needed to hear right now. I'm finding it so hard to connect with anyone on that kind of level because I'm so insecure. Maybe I'll just remember this from now on
The thing about fitting in really got me, after about 3 years of high school I stopped trying to fit in and just started being myself and wearing whatever I wanted to wear which usually consisted of dr martens, black ripped skinny jeans and some sort of metal band t-shirt with backcombed hair and heavy eyeliner. Safe to say I've toned it down as I've matured, but that was me for a while and I'm glad I didn't try to fit in too much during the middle of high school, especially in a school that wanted everyone to look the same
So, true. I told one of my friends last week. How this circle of expectations and some people do not do what they want. But instead do what other people expect of them.
I'm in my twelfth year of high school, so naturally i spent all of today having multiple existential crisis's over what I'm going to study at uni once i finish, all the while feeling that everything was an obligation. Long story short, this made video made me cry bc idk you just hit all the right points, so thank you xx
as a teenager this was very reassuring and made me feel so much better thank you for this
that first one relates so much. Im 6'3 and Ive been over 6'' since I was 12. People ALWAYS noticed me because of it...and I was SHY. I always tried to fade into the backround by never talking, wearing plain clothes etc.
I just always come back to this video when I'm down and feeling self conscious, relaxes me and reassures me that it's okay not to be like everybody.
I wish I didn't hate on the "girly girls" in my teenage years, but honestly I still can't tell if it was because there was a mean girl clique in my class or because I was not liking them.... PS. Any new youtubers wanting to support each other??
Thank you for saying this! I've been in this weird emotional/conflicted place and this honestly helped so much!
This is exactly what I needed. It's so nice to come home after a long day and just wind down with a vid from Lucy. SO glad you're doing veda this month
Thank you for this video, Lucy. Although I have just passed my years as a teenager, it's so important to realise there are many paths to one goal, not just going to university. Here in Switzerland, only about 20% of people actually do an equivalent of a-levels and then study an academic subject at uni. Most people do an apprenticeship at an actual company while learning the theory at school a couple days of the week. With an apprenticeship diploma you gain so much practical knowledge and are usually preferred by employers over someone who has been sitting in school all their life. I definitely think the UK and the US could take a page from switzerland's book! ;)
I think this was such an important video. Thank you for making it. I 100% agree with the stress it takes to buck social trends, and the social pressure to go to university and get a 'respectable' job. I swallowed my pride after a year of A levels and did a creative BTEC- the lesser regarded route. I've now been accepted into Central Saint Martins this September, and been offered places out of 5/5 of my uni choices. This would NOT have been possible had I not made that change. BTECs are valid, and they really do take you places. I'm really not trying to brag, I just hope to inspire someone to study what they are interested in regardless of the pretext.
It sounds so simple saying it. I'd say the same thing to myself and other teens. but it's hard when you are that age. But anyone reading this; really listen to the advice: be yourself. Don't care too much what others say or do. If you do something own up to it, don't ever apologize for being you. That being said; be kind to others and let them express and be themselves too.
I really enjoy/appreciate these sorts of longer videos where you share your experiences. I find it really useful at the stage I am in my life when other people talk about the different paths and options that are available as sometimes my views on how I want to progress become so clouded by the opinions of people who, despite wanting the best for me, don't necessarily consider the direction I want to go in life. Videos like this are genuinely so fucking helpful as it helps me look at how you've experienced progression and how that relates to myself. ❤
I'm absolutely in love with your hair
Mutual apologies!!! Oh my god this is such a big thing for me now. One of my (now ex) best friends used to kind of force me to take the full blame any time we fell out or I upset her and it really fucked me up emotionally.
I was always told not to have debt and put off school, which I found some cheap courses that transfer to an accredited university now. But spent 5 years not doing what I've dreamed about doing since I was 3 because I was told that there's no way I can afford school and I would fail if I had debt and would live in poverty if I did school first and I should just marry someone and give them kids instead of bothering with a dead end debt inducing career. I live in not the best circumstances now because I spent so long in menial jobs, but am getting out of it slowly and loving life because it's the path that I chose.
Lucy how do you give your hair volume?? (off topic, i know, but sorrry im struggling with my recently short hair)
Taylor Herbertson sea salt spray works wonders :) you can buy it in superdrug/boots/some big supermarkets (i'm assuming you're in the uk - if not, you can probably find sea salt spray in most drug stores) :)
you can also diy it!!
I never thought that I'd be saying that one day, but sometimes I miss being a teenager. I didn't realise all the goods things I had, like still having both my parents, not to have to worry about money, no responsability except for doing OK at school...I was too focused about not being slim enough, pretty enough, cool enough...It seems so ridiculous now. So if I could say something to my teenage self, it would be open your fucking eyes, you're one of the lucky ones (for now)
honestly makes me feel so much better!! 17 and last uear of high school with the expectations to go to uni and get money and get a job and be an adult and its crushing this really helped me sort of realise that uni isnt the be and end all and there is always more to life thank you!
I understand where you are coming from when you were talking about having a "normal life" in a way. Going to college, getting a good degree in a stable career path, getting married, having kids, and such. That just sounds incredibly dull (I guess there are a lot of moments in between that though), but I don't think I would ever be happy living that way. I actually have a secret aspiration of doing TH-cam, and I know it will be really hard to succeed with how many creators there are now. I don't want to do it for the money either, I want to do so I could somehow help others, be creatively free, and just, more or less, do my own thing to a certain extent. It's really confusing, and I'm scared to put myself out there though.
I am so grateful for this video. From the friendship issues to food to uni, I needed to hear those things so badly. I currently go to an all girls grammar school (ugh) and the ultimate goal is to go to Oxbridge, become a lawyer etc etc. But I want to do performing arts. I'm a dancer. My passion lies in dancing. I also love acting and singing. I've been told that I do have what it takes to actually get somewhat into the industry. But when my school heard that...um...lets just say they were not supportive. 'Oh just do 4 academic A-levels as back up' - which I understand in a sense as a plan B is always a good thing I guess but it isn't what I want to do. I'm so miserable at my current school. I'm doing well academically but the atmosphere is all wrong for me. My goal isn't Oxbridge. And this video just helped me realise that it's okay xx
I also get mocked as a 'drop out' now which is just brilliant :(
Im currently at sixth form and i found this video so helpful! Especially when it comes to universities my college pushes us to go so much! Luckily enough for me i know what i want to do and i need a degree to achieve that but so many of my friends have no idea what to stidy but are still looking round universities ready to apply next yr when they figure out what career they want. It seems a lot like in many cases nowsdsys people use university as a way to waste time so they can figure out what they want to do with their lives.
thank you for making this video. a really similar situation happened to me where my friend had an anger problem and she would take it out on me. although all of our other friends knew this about her none of them would say anything. the one time i confronted her about it she blew up at me like she always did. I ended up apologizing even though i knew i wasn't in the wrong. i am no longer friends with any of them and they all hang out with out me and it hurts. but this video helped me realize that those friends weren't real friends and I am better off without them. thank you.
Had to pause because I wanted to enjoy this w/ a cup of tea first
Literally been wishing for a vid like this from anyone this week and now LUCY makes one 🙌🏽
This was much needed. My GCSE'S are a month away, & teachers are drilling it in my head that these days will make up my future, as in the 6th form/college I'll go to, leading to the uni then job etc. And I've never had a huge passion for that. I love education but not school lmao.
idek
this was so helpful especially the part of fitting in and being unique xxx
I'm 15, about to go to college. This helped me, and made me feel so much better, so thank youu
I remember using aim and feeling the same way lol. Wanting to be cool! I love these types of discussions ❤️
i watch this video on the regular, i was 13 when it came out and i am now 16. thank you.
7:30 speaking on the topic of Instagram, I have a popular 'aesthetic' account. It's my only account and I've had it for three years. I went through a lot having it. Firstly I tried extremely hard to build my theme, look a certain way, have a lot of followers etc. This really effected my life. I put so much pressure on myself that I couldn't function. Now, I just post what I want to post and the goal isn't looking good or having lots of followers/likes. I buy whatever clothes I want, I wear my hair and makeup however I want. I get more compliments now on how cool I am etc. than I did then.
I'm not saying these super popular accounts are real. They probably aren't. Most of these people are really insecure! I recommend only following the accounts that bring you joy and not pressure 💖
Thank you for this! I really needed to hear these ♡ There are some things you have to experience yourself to learn and grow as a person, but it's super helpful to get advice and just avoid mistakes in the first place! I just mean, it's okay to make mistakes and you shouldn't be ashamed of things you've done that you might find embarrassing, or the life choices you've made. To anyone, they made you the person you are today!
thank you for this, as a 17yr old in lower sixth - it's genuinely really helped me think about things. xo
honestly, I have watched a lot of this teenage advice videos and THIS WAS THE BEST! I felt like an inner voice was talking to me deep down from my heart. THANK YOU