6 Things You DON'T Need To Feel Guilty For 1. Not being perfect or not having it together all the time 2. Asking for help 3. Saying "No" 4. Being successful; showing up in life without apology 5. Taking some distance from people who you don't have the emotional capacity for 6. Protecting your joy
Shifter here. Huge admission.... I recently said this... "I don't have the emotional capacity to help you right now." And, although a shocker to the other person, I think they understood. And, on the flip side, it makes me more empathetic too. Thankful.
I struggle to ask for help, because of how many times I asked for help and absolutely didn't get it . That always feels Way worse than not asking and just figuring it out myself
I have a similar situation and I get it. I work and take care of my family though the money has not been there. I have shame about my income. even though I work at a professional business it stilll isn't enough.
This one I’ll add is close to #4 and I’m learning how not to feel guilty about someone else’s troubles. That includes: debt & low income, divorce & relationship probs, career failures or stalls, destructive habits, to name a few. When I find myself slipping into guilt, I’m teaching myself to pause and ask myself two questions. 1. In what way am I personally responsible for that? 2. How can I show compassion (and not rescue) instead of feeling guilt? It’s not as easy as it sounds but this has been helping me to manage my emotions well. Most of the time, the answer to my second question is to listen without interrupting or advising. Always, the answer is to pray for them. Often, I’ll ask, “How can I pray for you?” Or “would you like to pray about that with me now?” Even people who don’t share my Christian faith appreciate a sincere offer to lift their needs up in prayer.
When you said not to feel guilty for being successful! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 And then you said the people who dont celebrate you & try to bring you down are struggling (may I add insecure) with not achieving their own dreams 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Hello Coach Julia! Here are my notes: Guilt is an emotion after we have done something wrong, harmful or hurtful. • It is NOT useful or helpful when we guilt to make ourselves feel bad when we haven't done nothing wrong. 1. Not having it together or not being perfect all the time. 2. Asking for help. 3. For saying "No" 4. Being Successful 5. Taking some distance from people you may not have the emotional capacity right now. Protecting your joy. Thanks, Coach, for always taking your time to make these helpful videos! To anyone and everyone reading this - you are a worthy and valued person! You matter! Take good care!
Thank you so much for this. I used to this fuel compassion for myself during a morning yoga and stretch routine I’ve been struggling to maintain. I know it helps me feel better, and more willing to be in my body. Thank you for helping me understand guilt a bit better! 💖
I feel like toxic positivity makes us feel guilty unnecessarily. We don't need to feel guilty unintentionally hurting someone's feelings or not having a great day. If there is no rain ever there will not be life on Earth. I also like when you stated people who criticize you for your success don't have the courage to do it themselves. If a particular person is doing the same thing you are doing confidently they would not criticize you which is helpful to not take it personally.
I really benefit from all of your talks. Guilt can be a strong emotion/droving force. It interferes with clear thinking, with acknowledging ourselves. I am improving in many areas, but, in some where when my children were younger and I could have been a better parent will take me a while to understand. Hindsight is usually 20/20. I used to be more introverted, now I’m not.
I finally found the courage to end a 30 year friendship with a woman I met in a parenting support group. It stopped being a balanced relationship years before I ended it. Guilt kept me in it( I was her only friend, she was very needy and she had severe depression). But I knew I could not keep faking a relationship any more when I knew I had grown a lot and was ready to move on. After the “break up”, I had tremendous guilt for a long time. 😢
Thank You Julia for these six points. You really hit it on the head for me. I've always been a giver, a yes yes all the time, sacrified so much of my joy to make other people happy, make them smile. Now that my divorce has finalized I have found it hard to connect with anyone to talk about things, to vent. It's been a year since by seperation from my wife and just in september finalized my divorce. I have not opened up to anyone about anything that i'm feeling. I did try phone counseling but couldn't open up, i don't know if I wasn't asked certain question I don't know never had counselling before that. I've felt better watching your videos and really listening to your advice. Thank You Julia.
Guilt feels like the one constant in my life, which lately has been a feeling of anxiety. I started seeing a psychiatrist, but I still feel stressed and fear. Adding in the fact I live alone, I just don't know what to do. Tired of feeling this way.
I woke up this past Saturday morning and my wife told me my in-laws were stopping by. I usually don't mind but I was not in the mood to deal with having her mother around as she can be a real pain in the ass. I am learning to prioritize my mental health over everything else so I ended up leaving to get a very much needed haircut as well as food and Christmas shopping done. I felt a little guilty at first but screw it as I was not involved in the initial discussion which I found to be disrespectful. My wife and I had a discussion about this and we agreed to discuss before inviting people over.Thank You doctor!
This is helpful. I was put on the spot in front of a bunch of people this week and I spoke my truth/my opinion which benefited me and my program. I wasn't very popular after that. I believe I've been getting the cold shoulder from someone who was offended. I find myself feeling guilty for my comments but I did nothing wrong. Perhaps I was insensitive in the way I said it. Regardless, if the tables were turned all of those people in that room would be jumping for joy and wouldn't care less about how any of it affected me.
My sister is always crying, complaining, and asking people to do things for her. We live 1300 miles away from each other. She calls me at least 5 or 6 times a day just for no reason. When she's not calling she's texting. I try to be understanding. Her main problem is being alone. Her family does not want much to do with her, so I'm it! I'm a widow and I've had breast cancer, yet she always makes her problems more important. I've just about had all I can take!
Please separate yourself and take care of yourself 🙏 you are not responsible for your sister’s emotionl states. She is a grown up now and she should get her life in oreder, find friends and moveon, instead of being an emotional vampire for you 🙄 please start protecting your physical and mental helath!!! You deserve better than being someone esles narcistic supply. Hope all will go well and wishing you all the best🍀🌈💚
I feel guilty whenever I take a step backwards from political media. I feel like when I do that I am not doing my duty to stay informed. At the same time political anxiety is literally ruining my metal health and other aspects of life.
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Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness.❤
6 Things You DON'T Need To Feel Guilty For
1. Not being perfect or not having it together all the time
2. Asking for help
3. Saying "No"
4. Being successful; showing up in life without apology
5. Taking some distance from people who you don't have the emotional capacity for
6. Protecting your joy
You don’t have to feel guilty for being you.❤
It’s okay to say no.❤
Shifter here.
Huge admission.... I recently said this... "I don't have the emotional capacity to help you right now." And, although a shocker to the other person, I think they understood.
And, on the flip side, it makes me more empathetic too.
Thankful.
It’s better to give than to take.❤
I struggle to ask for help, because of how many times I asked for help and absolutely didn't get it . That always feels Way worse than not asking and just figuring it out myself
I have a similar situation and I get it. I work and take care of my family though the money has not been there. I have shame about my income. even though I work at a professional business it stilll isn't enough.
This one I’ll add is close to #4 and I’m learning how not to feel guilty about someone else’s troubles. That includes: debt & low income, divorce & relationship probs, career failures or stalls, destructive habits, to name a few. When I find myself slipping into guilt, I’m teaching myself to pause and ask myself two questions. 1. In what way am I personally responsible for that? 2. How can I show compassion (and not rescue) instead of feeling guilt? It’s not as easy as it sounds but this has been helping me to manage my emotions well. Most of the time, the answer to my second question is to listen without interrupting or advising. Always, the answer is to pray for them. Often, I’ll ask, “How can I pray for you?” Or “would you like to pray about that with me now?” Even people who don’t share my Christian faith appreciate a sincere offer to lift their needs up in prayer.
Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment..
Nobody is perfect.❤
Hey Hello I am Rubin from the Netherlands. 37
years old.
Thank you from the time and afford you put into these videos 🙏
Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment..
When you said not to feel guilty for being successful! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
And then you said the people who dont celebrate you & try to bring you down are struggling (may I add insecure) with not achieving their own dreams 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Hello Coach Julia!
Here are my notes:
Guilt is an emotion after we have done something wrong, harmful or hurtful.
• It is NOT useful or helpful when we guilt to make ourselves feel bad when we haven't done nothing wrong.
1. Not having it together or not being perfect all the time.
2. Asking for help.
3. For saying "No"
4. Being Successful
5. Taking some distance from people you may not have the emotional capacity right now.
Protecting your joy.
Thanks, Coach, for always taking your time to make these helpful videos!
To anyone and everyone reading this - you are a worthy and valued person! You matter! Take good care!
Thank you so much for this. I used to this fuel compassion for myself during a morning yoga and stretch routine I’ve been struggling to maintain. I know it helps me feel better, and more willing to be in my body. Thank you for helping me understand guilt a bit better! 💖
I feel like toxic positivity makes us feel guilty unnecessarily. We don't need to feel guilty unintentionally hurting someone's feelings or not having a great day. If there is no rain ever there will not be life on Earth.
I also like when you stated people who criticize you for your success don't have the courage to do it themselves. If a particular person is doing the same thing you are doing confidently they would not criticize you which is helpful to not take it personally.
Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment..
I really benefit from all of your talks. Guilt can be a strong emotion/droving force. It interferes with clear thinking, with acknowledging ourselves. I am improving in many areas, but, in some where when my children were younger and I could have been a better parent will take me a while to understand. Hindsight is usually 20/20. I used to be more introverted, now I’m not.
I finally found the courage to end a 30 year friendship with a woman I met in a parenting support group. It stopped being a balanced relationship years before I ended it. Guilt kept me in it( I was her only friend, she was very needy and she had severe depression). But I knew I could not keep faking a relationship any more when I knew I had grown a lot and was ready to move on. After the “break up”, I had tremendous guilt for a long time. 😢
Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment..
I suffer from survivors guilt, both of my daughters, ages 5 and 20, died in separate car accidents.
I'm sorry to hear that. ❤️❤️❤️
It would make them happy to see you well and not suffering from guilt. They wouldn’t want you to feel guilty. They would want you to feel happy.
Such a terrible thing to happen...just remember that you will be with them one day again....for now live the life that God gave you the best you can.
Thank You Julia for these six points. You really hit it on the head for me. I've always been a giver, a yes yes all the time, sacrified so much of my joy to make other people happy, make them smile. Now that my divorce has finalized I have found it hard to connect with anyone to talk about things, to vent. It's been a year since by seperation from my wife and just in september finalized my divorce. I have not opened up to anyone about anything that i'm feeling. I did try phone counseling but couldn't open up, i don't know if I wasn't asked certain question I don't know never had counselling before that. I've felt better watching your videos and really listening to your advice. Thank You Julia.
Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment..
We’re Americans we’re supposed to be successful.❤
I’m proud that I’m successful Julia and I don’t feel guilty about it.
I love your channel Julia thank you for being here!
You are so welcome. And thank YOU for being here too.
Got the book and also passed it on to my sister ❤
Thank you for this message !
I love your videos! You have no idea how much you help people. Thank you! ❤
Thanks for this video friend ❤️❤️ much appreciation and peace and love ❤️
I feel guilty for saying no Julia.
Helpful! Thank you!
I got your book Drive Your Own Darn Bus and I started reading it. It's a great book. Thank you Julia
that's great! What's one takeaway from what you've read so far?
Chapter 1 Emotions
Nobody’s perfect people.
Guilt feels like the one constant in my life, which lately has been a feeling of anxiety. I started seeing a psychiatrist, but I still feel stressed and fear. Adding in the fact I live alone, I just don't know what to do. Tired of feeling this way.
@Trudy * I've never heard of it, but I will definitely look into it, thanks.
Are you a born again believer in Christ Jesus?
You are simply the best. thank you for all you do :) sending love and support to all. xx
Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment..
I woke up this past Saturday morning and my wife told me my in-laws were stopping by. I usually don't mind but I was not in the mood to deal with having her mother around as she can be a real pain in the ass. I am learning to prioritize my mental health over everything else so I ended up leaving to get a very much needed haircut as well as food and Christmas shopping done. I felt a little guilty at first but screw it as I was not involved in the initial discussion which I found to be disrespectful. My wife and I had a discussion about this and we agreed to discuss before inviting people over.Thank You doctor!
Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment..
Thank you for a great video !
Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment..
Fantastic video x
I feel so guilty thus is right on time!
It can’t be all wine and roses Julia.
This is helpful. I was put on the spot in front of a bunch of people this week and I spoke my truth/my opinion which benefited me and my program. I wasn't very popular after that. I believe I've been getting the cold shoulder from someone who was offended. I find myself feeling guilty for my comments but I did nothing wrong. Perhaps I was insensitive in the way I said it. Regardless, if the tables were turned all of those people in that room would be jumping for joy and wouldn't care less about how any of it affected me.
Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment..
😂😂😂 #3-6... love it!😉❤
I needed this today!!
Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment..
You can be a giver not necessarily a taker.
Good video Julia. thank you
Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment..
Don’t be ashamed to ask for help.
Link to 25 ways to say no does not work :(. Thank you for you fantastic work
Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment..
My sister is always crying, complaining, and asking people to do things for her. We live 1300 miles away from each other. She calls me at least 5 or 6 times a day just for no reason. When she's not calling she's texting.
I try to be understanding. Her main problem is being alone. Her family does not want much to do with her, so I'm it!
I'm a widow and I've had breast cancer, yet she always makes her problems more important. I've just about had all I can take!
Please separate yourself and take care of yourself 🙏 you are not responsible for your sister’s emotionl states. She is a grown up now and she should get her life in oreder, find friends and moveon, instead of being an emotional vampire for you 🙄 please start protecting your physical and mental helath!!! You deserve better than being someone esles narcistic supply.
Hope all will go well and wishing you all the best🍀🌈💚
@@happygoluckystar8069 Thank you for your kindness and good advice. I try to be kind to my sister, but without letting her stress me out.
Great video and very informative
Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment..
I don’t feel guilty about having extra Julia.
Needed this 😅
Really awesome video
THX...
Hi from Colombia!
Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment..
You shouldn’t apologize for feeling sad.
I struggle with asking for help because I have shame about being less than.
Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment..
You don't need to feel guilty for asking for help.
Hello, new here! Thank you!
Where can I get drive your own darn bus in South Africa? (Physical or digital copy)
you should be able to buy a digital copy from the Amazon USA site - have you tried that yet?
I’m successful in Las Vegas playing the machines Julia.
I am unable to open the link to 25 ways to say no!
Same!
Michelle from Ga
Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment..
I didn’t have 80% to give to my ex-friend Becky Keena Julia.
I can't access the 25 ways to say no link :( it says it doesn't adhere to security standards...
We’re working in the issue and will have it fixed asap!
Click “Show details” and then there should be a little hyperlink that will allow you to proceed/visit the site.
I feel guilty whenever I take a step backwards from political media. I feel like when I do that I am not doing my duty to stay informed. At the same time political anxiety is literally ruining my metal health and other aspects of life.
Get away from Politics. Right now the game is toxic as hell.
Should I feel guilty fir being a bad dude?
Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment..
I disagree with my mother on abortion Julia she’s pro-choice and I’m pro-life.
🥂
Beautiful woman
😅😊😊😊😊 😊😊!! !ㅡ!! .
I found that I was always giving to my ex-friend Becky Keena.
I said no to my ex-friend Becky Keena for something.