I've always said that South African black adults stay 21 forever; they are old enough to drink,smoke, party, and galavant yet young enough to excuse themselves from responsibility and the consequences of their actions. At the age of 21, you are given leeway to be irrisponsible under the assumption that "it's a stage." Unfortunately, this has led us to normalising 30-year-olds at groove, single parents who have the tag "parent" but not the responsibility. It's only our race that does this. I have yet to see a white man or woman aged 25+ talk about "massive weekend," "groove," "baby daddy/momma." All these other races move on, and age-appropriately, we blacks still have 50-year-olds calling themselves "bra spijo" instead of the respectable, age-appropriate "bab mlangeni." Go to any kasi and you will find some 30 year olds still talking about soccer trials or a rap career. At that time, he hasn't yet factored in that the ship has sailed and he should focus on other things. It's a mess!
Your observations about the normalization of certain behaviors and the delayed assumption of responsibilities are thought-provoking. It's concerning how this dynamic may hinder personal development and societal progress. How can we as a society encourage a more mature and responsible approach to adulthood across all racial groups?
I'm a 35year old Indian guy, and had moved to Mthatha some 7 years ago, and I must say that this video hits home to the culture shock I had experienced when I got here. The concept of single mothers being a norm although it's not an Eastern cape only phenomenon, I guess from the Indian community I was mostly exposed to I had not realised how much different things were. I see it play out daily, the men that are still boys. I've also in the recent past had started to steer a little along those lines thinking to myself that I'm not normal to be thinking of life differently from most of the men around here. I think I needed this video to remind me that I am actually on the right path and that what I am exposed to on the daily of men being boys should stop being normalised. Thank you for the video and I hope that the message spreads and more boys do become men from it.
I myself am a culprit. I needed to hear this truth once again in order to understand that I must be more accountable. Funny how I've been told this years before by 2 exes & I didn't take them seriously. I now have to be honest with myself in order to improve the quality of my life.
ijoooh I had to exit the coversation a little to cool off...I got Shivers when you mentioned the ladies abaQumbayo when being called out .I was not aware how I lacked emotional Intelligence right until I got to my 30's and life actually got real for me and it was not nice at all. But One day I woke up and Hated the person I was looking at in the mirror she was Entittled,Passive aggressive,lacked accountability and very arrogant I love your channel and thank you for always trying to bring out best out of the Black Community.
Penson can you please all the videos make them like this one! Giving actual solutions to our struggles and shitty lives at first i thought you were just going to go off on us and not give practical solutions. I know what works for one might not work for the other but thank you alot for this video
Hi Sh96n… Thank you so much for the comment! We’re all fighting at this life thing! It’s not easy! But we have to keep pushing! I’ll continue giving examples as best I can!
the devastating part is being a child fathered by a man child, the lack of discipline leads to inconsistency, failure to provide, failure to set a good example of manhood. when these men are finally forced to grow up they become unpleasant and resort to communicating like children "tantrums". a lot of the time women are forced to either leave the man child or he becomes part of the children. lets grow up gents, its disappointing.
This is a real syndrome PPS. Grew up with 3 brothers who projected uncomfortable feelings associated with anxiety, sadness, loneliness or even when they were being criticized for accountability or commitment. My brothers with Peter Pan syndrome, their distress tolerance was very low, which lead them to avoid certain situations because there’s this tendency to not be able to hold onto or tolerate these more difficult feelings. Often, Their issues with behaviors associated with PPS show up in personal relationships and work environments. One of them got Therapy and doing well . If you’ve been told that you struggle with growing up or taking responsibility, accountability, committment issues in any area of your life and relationships are strained, you may want to consider speaking with a therapist. A therapist can help you navigate these areas of your life and improve your self-understanding, interpersonal skills and critical thinking.
Thank you for this brother, I so wish more people would have the courage and confidence to share opinions on tough topics like these, I’m guilty of not doing this, something I’m working on. Because ultimately if you share an opinion that might be incorrect there is the entire internet to guide you to the light and this goes back to what you spoke about, growth beyond eighteen.
Yoh mfethu...this is so profound 😢 A man must keep his sleeves rolled up. Hhay ukuba uskhangeza,umuntu ocela njalo and doesn't make any plan. That also devaluates you as a man.
Our biggest problem as black people is we dont understand the asset called time wich is the biggest asset that is why we get our priorities wrong we just care about feelings but no logic
I think you hit the nail on the head except that this happens across all races and cultures. I have this debate with people all the time and and I think this contributes to the reason why there is such a high suicide rate with men across the world. Great insight, I am literally about to share this video with all my friends, can someone explain...what is this bedroom situation that girls love??
A lot of these things you speak of sound like the things that those with narcissistic personality disorder are known for. Refusal to take responsibility or accountability, inability to take valid criticism as well as an over reliance on others.
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I've always said that South African black adults stay 21 forever; they are old enough to drink,smoke, party, and galavant yet young enough to excuse themselves from responsibility and the consequences of their actions. At the age of 21, you are given leeway to be irrisponsible under the assumption that "it's a stage." Unfortunately, this has led us to normalising 30-year-olds at groove, single parents who have the tag "parent" but not the responsibility.
It's only our race that does this. I have yet to see a white man or woman aged 25+ talk about "massive weekend," "groove," "baby daddy/momma." All these other races move on, and age-appropriately, we blacks still have 50-year-olds calling themselves "bra spijo" instead of the respectable, age-appropriate "bab mlangeni." Go to any kasi and you will find some 30 year olds still talking about soccer trials or a rap career. At that time, he hasn't yet factored in that the ship has sailed and he should focus on other things. It's a mess!
WOW!!!
Dropping nothing but FACTS!!!
I just copied your entire comment and shared it to a WhatsApp group I am in!!!
Your observations about the normalization of certain behaviors and the delayed assumption of responsibilities are thought-provoking. It's concerning how this dynamic may hinder personal development and societal progress. How can we as a society encourage a more mature and responsible approach to adulthood across all racial groups?
😂😂 " bra Spijo"😂😂
This is so true. Maybe we should define what an adult it is.
Ageing is Mandatory. Growing up is a choice. Sometimes you wont have examples, you will have to be one...
OH DEEP!
We have to be the examples!!!
I'm a 35year old Indian guy, and had moved to Mthatha some 7 years ago, and I must say that this video hits home to the culture shock I had experienced when I got here.
The concept of single mothers being a norm although it's not an Eastern cape only phenomenon, I guess from the Indian community I was mostly exposed to I had not realised how much different things were.
I see it play out daily, the men that are still boys.
I've also in the recent past had started to steer a little along those lines thinking to myself that I'm not normal to be thinking of life differently from most of the men around here.
I think I needed this video to remind me that I am actually on the right path and that what I am exposed to on the daily of men being boys should stop being normalised.
Thank you for the video and I hope that the message spreads and more boys do become men from it.
I myself am a culprit. I needed to hear this truth once again in order to understand that I must be more accountable. Funny how I've been told this years before by 2 exes & I didn't take them seriously. I now have to be honest with myself in order to improve the quality of my life.
Brother… I did this video and STILL NEED TO BE TOLD 😅
The truth is that adulting isn’t easy… we need to keep working on getting better
It's good you are now being aware of it.
ijoooh I had to exit the coversation a little to cool off...I got Shivers when you mentioned the ladies abaQumbayo when being called out .I was not aware how I lacked emotional Intelligence right until I got to my 30's and life actually got real for me and it was not nice at all. But One day I woke up and Hated the person I was looking at in the mirror she was Entittled,Passive aggressive,lacked accountability and very arrogant I love your channel and thank you for always trying to bring out best out of the Black Community.
im glad you introspected and chose to be accountable and change. you are a true queen
Jordan Peterson talks about this. It's a well understood concept in psychology termed "Puer or Puella Aeternus".
Penson can you please all the videos make them like this one! Giving actual solutions to our struggles and shitty lives at first i thought you were just going to go off on us and not give practical solutions. I know what works for one might not work for the other but thank you alot for this video
Hi Sh96n…
Thank you so much for the comment!
We’re all fighting at this life thing! It’s not easy! But we have to keep pushing!
I’ll continue giving examples as best I can!
the devastating part is being a child fathered by a man child, the lack of discipline leads to inconsistency, failure to provide, failure to set a good example of manhood. when these men are finally forced to grow up they become unpleasant and resort to communicating like children "tantrums". a lot of the time women are forced to either leave the man child or he becomes part of the children. lets grow up gents, its disappointing.
you are so spot on !! especially from 15th minute on Women who cannot discuss household challenges !!
Thank you so much!
Discussing certain topics is always challenging.
This is a real syndrome PPS. Grew up with 3 brothers who projected uncomfortable feelings associated with anxiety, sadness, loneliness or even when they were being criticized for accountability or commitment.
My brothers with Peter Pan syndrome, their distress tolerance was very low, which lead them to avoid certain situations because there’s this tendency to not be able to hold onto or tolerate these more difficult feelings.
Often, Their issues with behaviors associated with PPS show up in personal relationships and work environments.
One of them got Therapy and doing well .
If you’ve been told that you struggle with growing up or taking responsibility, accountability, committment issues in any area of your life and relationships are strained, you may want to consider speaking with a therapist.
A therapist can help you navigate these areas of your life and improve your self-understanding, interpersonal skills and critical thinking.
no father at home nhe ?
Extremely critical subject matter.
Sadly I suffered from this for years, it’s true!
Don't suffer alone!
We all go through all that sh*t!
Nobody has to grow up. We just need to become responsible.
I like that!
Children at heart... that are responsible and accountable!
So spot on it's scary
Adulting is so tough hey
Clapping hands.... Preach
Thank you for this brother, I so wish more people would have the courage and confidence to share opinions on tough topics like these, I’m guilty of not doing this, something I’m working on.
Because ultimately if you share an opinion that might be incorrect there is the entire internet to guide you to the light and this goes back to what you spoke about, growth beyond eighteen.
We need to be open and honest...so we can heal and teach the next generation to come.
The internet is the worst!
I agree with most of what's said. I just struggle with the narrative of dating older being associated with daddy issues
Yoh mfethu...this is so profound 😢 A man must keep his sleeves rolled up. Hhay ukuba uskhangeza,umuntu ocela njalo and doesn't make any plan. That also devaluates you as a man.
100%
We have to roll up our sleeves!
It’s not easy… but kumele sizame and push!
We need more people like u bro on higher positions not people who don't want to think deep
Damn. I really needed to hear this Penson. Thank you
This video is apreciated...we really have to hear of such topics often so we either change or live to regret..
Ntanga stop bashing at abo Redbet bethu booo!😂😂😂
Verry informative Ntanga as usual, Danko.🙏
This video is SPOT ON, thank you brother!
Professor Jordan Peterson explains it so well.
Our biggest problem as black people is we dont understand the asset called time wich is the biggest asset that is why we get our priorities wrong we just care about feelings but no logic
“We just care about feelings”
That’s so deep!!!!!!
Overgrown babies always struggle to adapt to the demands of life as they grow up and one of the reasons behind this is overprotection by parents 🤦🏿♂️
I think you hit the nail on the head except that this happens across all races and cultures. I have this debate with people all the time and and I think this contributes to the reason why there is such a high suicide rate with men across the world. Great insight, I am literally about to share this video with all my friends, can someone explain...what is this bedroom situation that girls love??
Thank you so much Nqobile… 🙏🏽❤️
At what minute do I talk about the bedroom situation?
Shit... I'm a 23 year old guy and I think I'm experiencing this syndrome😂yoh.
I have to fix this before it's too late. Ehhh.
I am so sorry you going through this.
Please keep fighting!!!
change is inevitable but growth is a choice
i love this guy! Thank you brother
Great discussion
We all have a little a bit of that syndrome in us I think, hence the reluctance/struggle to get married
Thanks Penson for this was profound 🙏🏽🤌🏾
Now this is content i can get behind🤝
Powerful content Pen 🙏🏾
Hectic bro. I am the other side of 35. And I am a Peter Pan. It's embarrassing! I am disgusted at myself.
Bro… we are all stuck…
We just need to keep fighting!
We cannot give up!
Don't be decieved, Women never grow up !
Social Media has made Peter Pan and Cinderella syndrome worse
A lot of these things you speak of sound like the things that those with narcissistic personality disorder are known for. Refusal to take responsibility or accountability, inability to take valid criticism as well as an over reliance on others.
You hit in on the head!
Many people that refuse to grow up can also be narcissistic!
realist guy.
😂 Funny but true, I’ve got friends like that.
Funny and sad...
Funny but the aftertaste of that laughter is bitter sadness 😢
🙏🏾
Another banger🔥
Thank you so much William!
Male version of Dineo Ranaka😅😅
Wow i have never heard of the term Peter Pan syndrome.😂
How does one heal from Peter Pan syndrome?
So, women are suffering from this condition?
Women are suffering as well... it's not just men
Wendy is his girlfriend.
Why you doing this? 😭😭😭😭