I wish I'd heard this when I was 20 years old. I'm nearly 50 now and have repeatedly been taken advantage of by people like this. Dr Phil's book, Life Code, was a game changer for me. Can't wait to see the next episode. Thanks Doc!
You have nothing to be ashamed of it Wwe hard to spot and wasn’t I guess always talking about back then now we have better knowledge and insight am in my 40s I just barely found about this disorder not to long ago now we can spot the red flags now to watch out now.🙏🏻
EXactly, Dr. Phill is really doing great job, and if we knew sooner, we would act differently. I think many of us, who are dealing/ dealt with this kind of people, would not even try to talk to them, nor have them around and interact with them.
why is it all of these blame-throwers are talking about this like they bear no responsibility for the decisions they made..?? get to know someone before making a committment.. and for gosh sakes if someone is abusive, bad for you, or even just "off".. RUN ! don't walk away, run away.. theres so many others out there.. find someone who is healthy.. don't be a victim.. good grief.
The problem is that most of us tend to "project", and so if you're a decent person, you make the assumption that the ppl you're dealing with have some kind of moral standards they follow. It' s probably best to assume that that's not the case and assume that any person you meet may turn out to be up to no good.
I lived with a covert narcissist partner for seven years and can relate to almost everything I heard here, today. Although looking back, I've run accross plenty of ALL types of narcissists, when I began this particular relationship, I wasn't intellectually familiar with narcissism in general, let alone any of the subsets but this guy was so noticeably off in so many subtle (and less subtle) ways, I can honestly say that I owe my interest and knowledge in the topic to him. The most notable aspect of living with him was this constant feeling of general unease. It wasn't overwhelming but was almost always there at a low eb, underlying everything. If I could put my finger on the feeling, I'd have to describe it as a combination of dead air where there should have been intamacy and cameraderie, haze where there should have been a clear picture of the relationship and this nagging uncertainty where there should have been a sense of security. It was like the relationship was in a perpetual holding pattern, with no real purpose or substance but also no specific end in sight. It was an eerie, confusing, slightly negative feeling of suspension that was so foreign to me, I could only attribute it to an external source and eventually realized that I must have been picking up on the projections of my partner. I don't know if that's a thing but at the time, it did explain the unusual vibes I was getting
That's a great description of the ambient abuse. Sadly, it was a familiar to me because both my parents were narcissistic. It's actually miraculous I escaped my ex and came to understand my family is destructive. Lots of fleas to get rid of as well.
@@rubberbiscuit99 "Ambient abuse" is a good term for it. I'm sorry you've had to deal with so many toxic people, I think it's great that you recognize it and can face it head on. Like I always say, you don't have to love someone just because they're family
Did they smashed up any property like your car or were they involved in any criminal activity? They could be turning into that but covert narcissist is not often violent. If they are, I think it’s more just like hitting or slapping right? They do you like more like under the radar type crimes maybe? More emotional but like are they able to just do something or like if someone dies it’s like doesn’t really they don’t seem to express emotion about it?
@@jessicarose9208 No, in my case he wasn't overtly destructive (although he WAS markedly careless if he ever used or borrowed something of mine) but he was absolutely passive aggressive and obstructive when it came to me (or anyone else) having any kind of come up, or stroke of luck. As an example; my mother had agreed to buy me a car in exchange for some work I'd done for her but the car I'd chosen was a little over budget, so she hadn't agreed to buy it yet and before she could, we got into an argument and I told her to forget it and froze her out for a few days. Unbeknownst to me, she went ahead and bought the car and wanting to surprise me, asked my covert partner come pick it up it and bring it home, which he did but instead of letting me know I had a new car (my first in 15 years, so a pretty big deal) when he got home, he just came inside and went about his business without a word and the only reason I found out about it at all, was because my mom sent me a text that night asking how I liked it. Now, this scenario might not sound all that serious to the outsider but finally getting a car was a really big deal to me and he was well aware of how excited I was, so the whole thing was just completely bizarre. He had been throwing up roadblocks throughout the process but I'd always managed to sidestep his interference, only this was just so childish and passive aggressive, it made me question some of the other weird things he'd done in the past and I came to the conclusion that he simply could not STAND seeing something good happen to anyone, not even his own girlfriend, he was just incapable of dealing with his feelings in a constructive manner.
You have given me the clearest understanding of my brother and his wife. Every direction given to them by any authority , is received as optional, from childhood through to their present, middle age.
I'm a survivor of a Narcopath. I'm lucky & blessed to be alive. My scars are now my testimony. I never knew people like him existed. The abuse was beyond anything I could have ever imagined.
This sounds like my ex husband. He seems to have traits of antisocial, narcissistic and sadistic. He drained me physically, emotionally and financially over 22 years. I was no quitter and tried to make it work until I was so broken and depressed. Finally in my own therapy could I see he was my biggest abuser.
What a beautiful, heart-felt opening message followed by a passionately intelligent lecture, Dr. Phil. Thank you for caring and preparing such incredible and reliable information for all your life students all over the world. God bless you and your family. ❤🇨🇦
I learned about psychopaths and narcissists by 2010. I plan to talk about it on my channel. I experienced some horrible things and know the red flags, the verbal and mental abuse. That was in a relationship and another, mostly due to being chronically ill. I also realized some family members are narcissistic. It helped me to disconnect and stop feeling obligated to try to get along with people who do not respect me. She never respected me. Now, i just text a small amount of times throughout the year. So, I'm glad I learned about it. I wish I could change some decisions. But, I am very glad to understand it and that I can be helpful to others dealing with it. Many people in the chronic illness community are stuck in the bad relationship, family situations, marriages because they are too sick to work and cannot afford to leave, don't have a place to go. I, like many, couldn't go where people use artificial fragrances and must avoid things that can make me worse. I hope to help people in the future, maybe join or start an organization that helps people leave abusers and start a new life. It's almost impossible to get better while with an abuser.
Dr. Phil. I hope you know how much appreciated you are in our community. You are such a humble person. Thank you for being the best version of yourself. I just love the fact that what you see is what you get. Keep it real like you always have you are highly respected and humble. I love that about you. Your family is very blessed and I know you see them as a blessing as well. What a great breath of fresh air to see normalization and healthiness broadcasted throughout the world. God bless you for all that you do, and all that you are through the grace and mercy of The Lord that has bestowed these gifts on you that he you have used in the best way you deserve all the goodness that comes your way
The trick is to get out or away before you get backed into a corner feeling trapped and then become aggressive. Then they turn it back on you. I would have left so many situations 20 years ago if I got the right help from therapists. Several dropped the ball and I ended up with severe codependency symptoms and CPTSD.
You're nice, Dr. Phil. I am intrigued by your vulnerability, comforted by your genuine communication style, impressed by your scope of knowledge and proud of you for your accomplishments. I'm glad you started this channel, it's feels a little more intimate without the chaos of guests and an audience. Good luck with the project. you've got me onboard!
@@eeeriebrilliance because I have seen a million of them and it's exactly the same each time. If I describe why you will report the comment and it will disappear. That is the real function of this account.
@@DailyCorvid So, let me get this straight - you think MY account is fake, or are you talking about the account that posted the Dr Phil video? Because that one might be fake but mine isn't
@@DailyCorvid And btw - I don't need and wasn't expecting a reply. Dr Phil had a couple of moments in this video where he showed his vulnerability and I just thought maybe if he reads through the comments, he would feel encouraged by mine. But I guess since, according to you, I'm nothing but a BOT with a "blatantly fake" account, he should just not take anything positive from what I wrote. Okaaay... that doesnt make any sense, even if this WAS a fake account
I'm aspd & I've been in therapy weekly for 7 months. I couldn't find a therapist to take me for 7 yrs, nobody wants to treat it. That needs to change. The psychology field needs to stop with the stigma within itself.
Absolutely eye opening. I am 70 years old, raised in a toxic family. I am learning how to protect myself. This pod cast has been enlightening and life changing. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
OMG. I just found this series and just actually found "Phil in the blanks" podcast. I thought I was going crazy. I was wondering if I was messed up myself. (and could be since my dad was a total Narcissist) 14 years of questioning myself. Now I know. I am blown away over this series. I will listen over and over again to this and educate myself on how to manage my life better. You have been a God Send !!!!!! Thank you so so much !!!!
Thank You Dr Phil for making everything so clear, I look forward to every episode, as everything makes sense whenever you explain it. It most certainly makes people around us easier to understand and to handle. Your work is truly appreciated by all of us who listen !!!
You empower the people, Phil. That's what I believe in doing and have done in my counseling as well. Knowledge is power and if people internalize that, they can use that to be wiser and to live a more fulfilling and empowered life.
I definitely am a covert narcissist. It kinda opened my eyes. I don't think I feel anything except fear of abandonment. I lie because I fearful that my past and who I am is not enough for anyone to want to stick around. Instead of setting boundaries on things I'm not comfortable talking about. I would choose lying to skip over a topic or didn't feel like explaining myself and laziness and no consideration of the potential harm that it could cause my spouse. Until now I see it. Kinda changes my story of who I thought I was. All the past just changed in a moment apon learning what I am. It's like I'm on a different planet ALl of a sudden I'm the villain and thought I was the hero the whole time. Shook to my core
Best to educate yourself to protect yourself from these people. Thank you Dr. Phil! This should be taught to students as soon as they're at the age where they could understand how to recognize these predators. And then like Dr. Phil said, the ASPD types would be just be schooled on what to do and not to do. More amo for them to continue to charm and con others, including the bark off a tree.
Hi Dr. Phil. I happened to do a TH-cam "psychopath" search and I happily recognized you! You have described my ex-husband 100%! I discovered he was a psychopath (in name only) during our divorce process (we just divorced last year; my first marriage). My sister told me he displayed Antisocial Personality Disorder character traits (as we were divorcing) and he checked off EVERY bullet point! The sad thing is, we have a young child but due to California's FLAWED family law court, he was initially granted joint legal and physical custody! So my son could have lost his life on SEVERAL occasions due to my ex's lack of unconditional love and supervision for his own child, and especially his DEEP desire to hurt ME through our child since he KNOWS the love I have for my son! And my ex WON'T stop! Though he just remarried (wife #6), he doesn't find happiness in her but in continuing to hurt me through our child! Thanks to your video, now I know he won't change (he doesn't want to anyway), so I will stop expecting him to wake up and be remorseful! I was just awarded physical custody last month by the way, but it's because my son has been too afraid to go to his father's house. BUT my ex falsified a custody document with the court's seal and judge's signature on it (he's a notary (in addition to a mail carrier) so I guess he has the equipment to do this), even fooling the police, so like I said, he JUST WON'T STOP!
Sounds like my first husband, he was married to two other women before we got divorced and didn't care about his children. He lied all the time and hurt me but all I cared about was my children's feelings. I'm grown I can take it but they are kids
@@Jess-kn8vl I'm not a big fan of that whole "forgiveness" concept. To me, it's like saying, "You have to show respect because they are your boss, parent, elder, etc. I don't think showing someone who behaves in an un-respectable way respect, or forgiving someone who has treated you terribly is a productive or affirming way to deal with certain people. I also believe that it enables bad behaviour
@@eeeriebrilliance lv held that same belief, even back when it was popular to "forgive" because it "helps" you to move on.. l think "forgiving" just makes it all wrapped up in a pretty package they can put away, but to me (even tho the "forgiveness" advocates will deny it) its saying it was ok.. and l will never endorse that.. no way. ever.
I always laugh when I hear “experts” say it’s only 1 % of the population. It’s way waaaaaaaaay higher. I’ve known too many of these monsters in my own life. Most of them have been wicked women, believe it or not. (Two stepmothers & a half sister had/have these traits.) The women are just more covert and stealthy.
I thought so too, but narcs are like lumps in oatmeal - just concentrated in certain places and situations. There's a higher percentage in singles on datingsites over 40. There are more in the women that approach men, then in the women that wait untill approached. There are more in law, politics, and Hollywood. And sadly, there are more of them concentrated around people, raised by cluster B's as children.
@Frederiekje221 l was going to say also that certain personality types attract them more than others.. some are "healthy" and others more vulnerable.. combine that with ppl who were raised in the same environment with one, and that applies towards a familiarity in attraction as well..
My younger sister is like this, but she's really refined the art. As she was a child she had serious behavioural problems, aggressiveness, lying and just unacceptable behaviour. At 9 she was alcohol addicted, violent, jealous, triangulating, gaslighting and all that jazz. She then went intern in a psychiatric ward for two years, where she learned to refine her devious behaviour. She was no longer physically aggressive but more proficient in lying, playing victim/hero, gaslighting, manipulating, triangulating to the point she managed to fool almost everyone. Even while destroying my parents marriage they would still treat her like a princess that could do no wrong.( I became the black sheep due to her lies and triangulation and in earlier years I was her punching bag. And she always managed to convince my parents that it was me who was agressive). She got pregnant really quick after finding a suitable man that she could manipulate, gaslight and use. He is sticking with her because of the children. Those children need to appease their mom to avoid her bad side. But she's really really good at portraying herself as the perfect person, while I know that everything she has is built upon lies. I recently let her know that I know how she smears me behind my back, telling horrible lies, and that I don't think that's a basis for a relationship. I know she's gonna use this against me, but most of the damage has already been done. I do think some people are slowly becoming aware that something is 'off' with her. I know in her professional life people see through her really quick and she has trouble keeping jobs. She now works as a caregiver for geriatric patients, and she mostly works alone so this time around she might hold out. I fear for her patients who might be exposed to her aggressive behaviour. So I suppose time will tell.
Omg, I'm so impressed that you were able to come to grips with the reality of this person and protect yourself. Remember, you're not obligated to love someone, just because they're family. Blood is NOT thicker than narcissistic abuse and I admire you for standing up to her. On a side note, I had a friend who's mother was toxic narcissist and also a home healthcare nurse (God save us all) She had absolutely no regard for her patients (except when wearing the skin of the false self she put on in public) and was eventually fired when it was discovered that she'd been replacing the liquid morphine prescribed to an elderly burn victim with cough syrup and taking the morphine herself. I guess a couple of times the nurse who relieved her when her shift ended came to work and found my friends mother passed out with the patient unnattended and in a lot of pain. She was also found to have been helping herself to the patient's checkbook and was actually prosecuted for it. This woman did all of the things you described your sister doing but to her children. My friend was very beautiful and watching her mother manipulate, abuse and terrorize her out of pathological envy was really difficult, if eye opening
Wrong job for her. I would totally fear for those she's meant to care for and help. I have worked in aged care, there is shocking people that get in on that work and get to abusing the elderly in many different ways. You'd be astounded at how many assholes are in care roles... Soon as the invaded can get back to that work, the sooner I will be able to get back into that particular care field and kick alot of abusers buts. I tried years ago and lost job because of it. I'm not scared to lose 1000 jobs now if it exposes the neglect and abuse in care homes and facilities. It's a real and serious thing. Sorry bout my tangent.... Your sister sounds like a hard piece of work to be related to. Hope you know you can find and choose other sisters in this world... 🙏
So your sister, while being painted in a bad light, had held a job, career, and marriage, all while you dont hav one (or any..?) but shes the bad guy..? when everyone rallys around someone its usually for a reason.. ppl see thru it ("lies") pretty quick so if your parents are proud of her maybe you could be as well..? All l read in your comment is sibling rivalry and bitterness towards your sister.. is she prettier than you..? maybe instead of the negative bashing, try and get her some help, or go to joint therapy together to bond this relationship.. but it sounds like your jealousy is so deep you dont want that..
@@BEAUTYnIQ I'm not jealous at all. I'm very happy with my own life. I'm not into comparing. I actually pity her, because apparently she needs to base her life on lies which I find sad. There has been years of therapy for me, her and our family after which she was placed in a psychiatric facility for her behavioural issues (the psychiatrist actually said that she and I could never be in the same household again, because her abuse impaired my development and she would always be hostile towards me, which has been proven true). She has been in therapeutic settings since she was 4 because of her aggressive behaviour which got worse as she got older. She's an actual sociopath. It's impossible for me to tell my story without her looking bad. I never talk to anyone about this, except in an anonymous way on YT. I'm sorry but your comment is way off the mark. I'm deeply saddened that it is this way. I always stood up for her, because she is my younger sister, regardless of her violent abuse that I took on a daily basis for decades (I knew she was a troubled girl)(notice that my parents never intervened, or punished her for what she did, as she always shifted the blame on me, which negatively impacted my relationshipwith them too.), but I have had to choose my own health and sanity, which she has severely compromised up until I had to end contact. I've tried all that I could, but she insists on targeting me for abuse, and that has to end, or it will end me. You can have your opinion, and I certainly don't owe you, a stranger on the Internet, an explanation. But since you've shown interest in these topics, maybe learn a bit about scapegoating and family mobbing. These things actually happen. And more often than not, the only solution is to remove yourself from the situation, which is not at all an easy decision and comes with a lot of grief for the family/sister you never had, but wished you had.
I must say I appreciate you podcast more than your talk show. I stopped watching your show at the point when you said everyone must have some sort of relationship with their parents. I disagree wholeheartedly. Sometimes the only way to get relief after trying this way, that way or whatever third way, is to sever them from your life. It does not fix all the broken pieces certainly, but it does allow a calm space where the work of fixing the broken pieces can begin.
That’s what makes it so beautiful you spread your knowledge and your help throughout the world because you have a passion and your passion helps others more than you could know you teach humbly and share unselfishly. Thank you.
Wow.. I've known a lot of people like this in varying degrees! Some were obviously abusive. However you have opened my eyes to the others. It is scary how some people mimic empathy. Thank you Dr. Phil.
This helps me to understand my sister better who has both BPD and APD, while my mother has both paranoid personality disorder and APD. I had a very difficult relationship when I noticed that my sister took advantage of people without empathy or remorse.
I'm 64 year old but never see this my life I'm scary men because I'm 15 years old one men try abused me but run way traum past some men disgusting hate because my past not ease now need rest sleep thanks money don't buy peace ☮️ thanks DR
Sociopath I know took keys to a rental car I had while I was asleep and took the car and totaled it. Looking back, I believe it was a deliberate crash to cause as much damage to me as possible. Of course I was left with the bad credit report.
The path to do what is right is missing-it is kinda like knowing the surface of smthin, but never understanding the depth of this-this is why, or I believe it is why-one will take the high risk because they know it is damaging or could be, but they do not know the pathway to avoid this because they do only know it’s danger or that ppl do not accept these actions. It’s like having a wall between the RIGHT WAY and THEIR WAY.
Thank you. Obrigada dr Phil. Goodnight. Boa noite. The Namibian woman in Portugal..... my experience of a narcissist which I never thought.....and see the real life of this person who isolated me for 5 years......and he is living his life with other 💃💃😂😂
17 years of institutionalized, manipulated, physically, mentally abused. Finally got out. 2nd relationship, very similar. Got out 14 years later. Once again, a third with disorders, going on 5 years. These men move from victim to victim. They don't change, in their mind - You are the Problem...
I was married to a man with this diagnosis. It was terrifying. The abuse was gruesome. I’m genuinely so lucky to have survived him. The only time I feel like I don’t have to look over my shoulder is when he gets locked up which happens often. But when I know he’s released I’m terrified. I wish he would be locked up permanently. He will one day but I scared to death it will be for murder.
My father was a psychopath my brother is as well. They are absolute monsters!! Very sadistic! They were both very violent for absolutely no reason!! They just really like to cause physical harm. My brother is a sexual sicko as well. I experienced some sexual abuse from him. He’s always been attracted to me since we were kids. He was also attracted to my mother. I keep no contact with him. My father finally croaked some years ago. That was a relief.
JESUS CHRIST I’m so sorry you went through that. Even sociopaths are capable of feeling empathy but psychopaths feel no guilt, empathy or remorse. Selfish manipulative predators
This type of behavior makes me realize how recourseful I can be… prisoners for 25 years learn a lot of skills when they are getting ready to slay a dragon ! Dr.Phil is the goat 🐐
@@le_th_ Is that the advice you'd give to a teenager living with a covert narcissistic parent? Or an employee who's new project partner is a covert narcissist? What about if it's one of your own kids who turns out to have this disorder? That makes the situation a little more complex and harder to just "stay away" from
I wish I could put my DIL in my rear view mirror. We take care of my special needs grandson together. She treats me like crap. At least I know now not to expect respect or appreciation. It’s heartbreaking to see what my poor son goes through.
Dr Phil, your videos have been very helpful. Thank you for all the information. I live in Thompson CT and i am in danger. I am surrounded by a house full of people who are Gaslighting me and having a panic attack disorder i am on SSDI for, these people are in my opinion, so sick to destroy me inside...preventing me from functioning & I am stuck in bed. I am severely weak. I am losing weight bc my nerves are shot! I fit into a kid's size medium at this point. I cannot tolerate the non stop abuse. My mother is an undiagnosed Sociopath in my opinion that has managed to also destroy my entire family. I was assaulted at this house. The State Police do not care i told them this. My back is in so much pain i cannot do a thing. I am being thrown out of this house bc of complete nonsense lies!!!!!!! The court actually signed off on documents that are so wrong so made up- i almost laughed and thought it was a joke!!! Lying to the cops to get it "documented" bc i try to tell this unstable woman who doesn't know how to be honest- abused in almost every way, stalked, money and items were stolen from this room also. Gaslighting happens every single day, just about which also is destroying me. They find all this comical. Again, an inability to function, get in a comfortable position to write some lengthy answer in a dishonest Notice to Quit the courthouse in Putnam CT has served me twice- both are completely made up and is making me so sick inside i am not able to do anything! I can't turn to the cops due to corruption somehow. The courthouse. the cops, an undiagnosed mother that maliciously destroyed a bond between my daughter and I as she made me a SUBORDINATE to my child!!! Now this residence is speaking to my mother and daughter???? Neither home has any REMORSE or EMPATHY when lying to the cops, courthouse while smearing my name and hoping I am homeless!!! I have no protection. My life is in danger. I collapse when i get these panic attacks!!! I am being SET UP TO LOOK BAD or DOING ILLEGAL THINGS ONLINE!!! Video footage that is NOT ME is being thrown in my face by this house!!! This video you are doing(past tense) is also severely altered!!! God help me from all these lies and abuse!!! My own daughter could care less i am in an abusive environment! That speaks volumes about the alienation done by her grandmother! I am alone and cannot turn to the cops, the homeowner here doesn't care if i live or die!!! Please look into the altering of all these videos. I cannot work to supplement my income and cannot think straight in this environment never mind function!!! If i can't fill out paperwork, my disability is unbearably bad, my back pain is so much worse from an ASSAULT Ann Bichard will not be honest about either!!! Please please help me come to any resolution with every person involved gets held accountable!!! #hackedcellphone #laughinginbackgroundofvideos #annbichardabuseslies
They CANT RELATE. AT A FEELING LEVEL. THANK YOU Dr Phil. It explains a lot. Several of these, that I did care about,,, that were JUST AS DESCRIBED,,, to the T,, are dead now. A relief? Yes. But now,,, to grieve the loss of years of time and efforts. Of trying to “ help”,,,, or give/ understand/ love/ explain/ have compassion for,,,, years gone. Wasted. Very much wasted time on people who had bad intentions all along. Wasted. 😢
IMHO, psychopaths Do Know the effect their behavior will have on somebody, and that’s why they behave the way they do. It gives them a sense of power to hurt, demean, control other people. And their own power trumps everything!
"The sooner you intervene the better off you are". My dreamy eyed parents did not intervene with a child with sever conduct disorders and was diagnosed with BPD. My father had a heart attack at a young age and my mothers and my relationship was destroyed by this childs mental illness. Never, ever settle for this horrible illness to run your life. Mental illnesses always win if not stopped, dealt with, and controlled in a responsible manner. He destroyed our mothers mind because the had good intentions. F that.
Thank you dr Phil I was verbally and emotionally abused by a sociopath this person was so toxic got me depressed eventually I kicked her out of my life thought we were friends we never were friends and I see why in the long run if I stayed friends it would have gotten worse with her she wouldn’t change at all so she will continue to damage any relationship that she has in her life it’s so sad these people exist in our world there so toxic there going to self destruct there ticking time bombs!
You are right, it starts as child. My stepson ODD kicked my dog the day i brought her home from being spayed. Bio mother destroyed him and left him with us. We called 911 all the time. He was kicked out of every school. He was sent to juvenile detention. We tried psychiatrist, therapists, wilderness camps, nothing worked for his Conduct Disorder. He assaulted me at 17 and went to prison for 2 years for family violence. He is 34 and im positive he is ASPD now. He has abused every woman he has been with. He has terrorized 200+ jobs. He has stolen from me his whole life. I have been No Contact several times as adult. I have 2 grandchildren now, 2 different mothers. I limit Contact and lock up all cash, medication or anything he would steal for money. Im 55 and he has destroyed me. I have PTSD, panic disorder, major depression, nightmare syndrome. He has given me permanent post concussion syndrome from 2 mTBI. I never had any children with my husband. Im so afraid im going to outlive my husband and he is going to murder me for our estate. Thank you for this coverage validating my trauma.
Thank you, Dr. Phil. I have a family member this describes to a T. But other people who have never experienced what this person is really like don't get it, don't understand it... and you might as well be talking to the wall if you try to explain it to them.
God bless you for saying that everybody is different and deserves love and patience most psychologist and psychiatrist wanted us to write off people who are difficult and not find the coping steals to live and deal with these people that we married or phone love with or our children, you are real you say to us, you can do this you can handle this. You can find ways to live with these people in your life by not being taken advantage of, but by using the skills that you are teaching us. Gosh, I know that your family just honors you and appreciates the God-given talent that was given to Dr. Phil I can’t tell you enough words how grateful I am. That God brought you into the world
These people get away with things because they pretend they are perfect. But they lack respect they tend to pick on the weaker people. That people have less time for. These people are usually in the popular group and have a higher status. The best way to deal with these people is don't take them seriously. As soon as they show who they are believe them. They like to see if people are stupid enough to do what they say. That's why it's best to notice people's facial expressions and tone of voice. They like to use politeness against people. They might say can you give that to her. And if they say no they will say don't be rude she is right there. These people are sly and enjoy making a fool out of people
I had just moved in with my ex. I thought he was the best thing since sliced bread. We were on the sofa kissing. He totally out of the blue sucked my tongue deeply into his mouth and bit down on it so hard i really thought he was trying to bite it off. I dont think i have ever been so scared in my life. I couldnt do anything other than hit his head. It felt like ages but i think it was about 5 seconds. It certainly wasnt a quick bite. He held his teeth clamped down for at least 4 or 5 seconds. The most scary thing? I stayed with him for another year. I then had a total breakdown. That was 14 years ago. That relationship changed me forever.
I truly think I know one. I thought he was just a narcissist which is bad enough but I’ve never before met someone that could be so charming to get something and then cold and try to tell them they hurt you and nothing. Just “sorry you feel that way” and then moves on to the next woman. I notice never stays at a job terribly long. Never married in his 50’s and even said I only care about my parents. I dunno. Hopefully I’ll never have to worry about it again.
I've been avaluted for this disorder and diagnosed and the PCRL check list isn't just something you can just go through and add one thing to my avaluation took 5 months telling people to diagnosed others and themselves doesn't makes sense it's not a 5 min test
Wasn't a specific thing. It was "women love me" for some reason.Still a humble brag. He is also very proud of his unwillingness to change. " I am an a hole", he said with great pride!
Example for r for instance-impulse to hurt one arises-now this person knows it’s wrong-but the understanding of the recourse for this action-say jail time-does not show itself-the pathway is not there-impulse IS-but recourse or fear of this does not present itself-so to do rightly is not present-afterwards when damage is done-THEN they only are inconvenienced-because of restraint from being free to do as pleased, but they never REGRET the act-only come to understand THIS is my punishment FOR IT.
Dr Phil, do you think people with these psychopathic traits is a result of different levels of nephylin DNA these people have inherited? Because let's face it, all of these tyrannical traits were exactly the same traits exhibited by the nephylin from Genesis ch 6 on. Great teaching btw, thanks!
This is my question. I understand that they have no empathy or remorse, but do they understand consequences? 16:43 Thanks! 24:08 Like that man in Chicago who punched that mom and got shot by her son.
I really needed to learn about these 25 years ago. My life would have been better.
I wish I'd heard this when I was 20 years old. I'm nearly 50 now and have repeatedly been taken advantage of by people like this. Dr Phil's book, Life Code, was a game changer for me. Can't wait to see the next episode. Thanks Doc!
Goodness, me too…
I’m 45 & met my ex demon at 22 (in 2000). Destroyed everything. Unfathomable. 🤦♀️
Should be required reading at the high school level. Hugs!
You have nothing to be ashamed of it Wwe hard to spot and wasn’t I guess always talking about back then now we have better knowledge and insight am in my 40s I just barely found about this disorder not to long ago now we can spot the red flags now to watch out now.🙏🏻
EXactly, Dr. Phill is really doing great job, and if we knew sooner, we would act differently. I think many of us, who are dealing/ dealt with this kind of people, would not even try to talk to them, nor have them around and interact with them.
why is it all of these blame-throwers are talking about this like they bear no responsibility for the decisions they made..??
get to know someone before making a committment.. and for gosh sakes if someone is abusive, bad for you, or even just "off".. RUN ! don't walk away, run away.. theres so many others out there.. find someone who is healthy..
don't be a victim..
good grief.
The problem is that most of us tend to "project", and so if you're a decent person, you make the assumption that the ppl you're dealing with have some kind of moral standards they follow. It' s probably best to assume that that's not the case and assume that any person you meet may turn out to be up to no good.
I lived with a covert narcissist partner for seven years and can relate to almost everything I heard here, today. Although looking back, I've run accross plenty of ALL types of narcissists, when I began this particular relationship, I wasn't intellectually familiar with narcissism in general, let alone any of the subsets but this guy was so noticeably off in so many subtle (and less subtle) ways, I can honestly say that I owe my interest and knowledge in the topic to him. The most notable aspect of living with him was this constant feeling of general unease. It wasn't overwhelming but was almost always there at a low eb, underlying everything. If I could put my finger on the feeling, I'd have to describe it as a combination of dead air where there should have been intamacy and cameraderie, haze where there should have been a clear picture of the relationship and this nagging uncertainty where there should have been a sense of security. It was like the relationship was in a perpetual holding pattern, with no real purpose or substance but also no specific end in sight. It was an eerie, confusing, slightly negative feeling of suspension that was so foreign to me, I could only attribute it to an external source and eventually realized that I must have been picking up on the projections of my partner. I don't know if that's a thing but at the time, it did explain the unusual vibes I was getting
That's a great description of the ambient abuse. Sadly, it was a familiar to me because both my parents were narcissistic. It's actually miraculous I escaped my ex and came to understand my family is destructive. Lots of fleas to get rid of as well.
@@rubberbiscuit99
"Ambient abuse" is a good term for it. I'm sorry you've had to deal with so many toxic people, I think it's great that you recognize it and can face it head on. Like I always say, you don't have to love someone just because they're family
Did they smashed up any property like your car or were they involved in any criminal activity? They could be turning into that but covert narcissist is not often violent. If they are, I think it’s more just like hitting or slapping right? They do you like more like under the radar type crimes maybe? More emotional but like are they able to just do something or like if someone dies it’s like doesn’t really they don’t seem to express emotion about it?
@@jessicarose9208 No, in my case he wasn't overtly destructive (although he WAS markedly careless if he ever used or borrowed something of mine) but he was absolutely passive aggressive and obstructive when it came to me (or anyone else) having any kind of come up, or stroke of luck. As an example; my mother had agreed to buy me a car in exchange for some work I'd done for her but the car I'd chosen was a little over budget, so she hadn't agreed to buy it yet and before she could, we got into an argument and I told her to forget it and froze her out for a few days. Unbeknownst to me, she went ahead and bought the car and wanting to surprise me, asked my covert partner come pick it up it and bring it home, which he did but instead of letting me know I had a new car (my first in 15 years, so a pretty big deal) when he got home, he just came inside and went about his business without a word and the only reason I found out about it at all, was because my mom sent me a text that night asking how I liked it. Now, this scenario might not sound all that serious to the outsider but finally getting a car was a really big deal to me and he was well aware of how excited I was, so the whole thing was just completely bizarre. He had been throwing up roadblocks throughout the process but I'd always managed to sidestep his interference, only this was just so childish and passive aggressive, it made me question some of the other weird things he'd done in the past and I came to the conclusion that he simply could not STAND seeing something good happen to anyone, not even his own girlfriend, he was just incapable of dealing with his feelings in a constructive manner.
You wrote it so well. Thank you for you insight. It really helps to read about the disorder.
You have given me the clearest understanding of my brother and his wife. Every direction given to them by any authority , is received as optional, from childhood through to their present, middle age.
I'm a survivor of a Narcopath. I'm lucky & blessed to be alive. My scars are now my testimony. I never knew people like him existed. The abuse was beyond anything I could have ever imagined.
So a Machiavellian then
This sounds like my ex husband. He seems to have traits of antisocial, narcissistic and sadistic. He drained me physically, emotionally and financially over 22 years. I was no quitter and tried to make it work until I was so broken and depressed. Finally in my own therapy could I see he was my biggest abuser.
Dr Phil I loved that you made these pod cast! So many people do not know about this stuff !
What a beautiful, heart-felt opening message followed by a passionately intelligent lecture, Dr. Phil.
Thank you for caring and preparing such incredible and reliable information for all your life students all over the world.
God bless you and your family.
❤🇨🇦
I learned about psychopaths and narcissists by 2010.
I plan to talk about it on my channel.
I experienced some horrible things and know the red flags, the verbal and mental abuse. That was in a relationship and another, mostly due to being chronically ill.
I also realized some family members are narcissistic.
It helped me to disconnect and stop feeling obligated to try to get along with people who do not respect me. She never respected me. Now, i just text a small amount of times throughout the year.
So, I'm glad I learned about it. I wish I could change some decisions. But, I am very glad to understand it and that I can be helpful to others dealing with it.
Many people in the chronic illness community are stuck in the bad relationship, family situations, marriages because they are too sick to work and cannot afford to leave, don't have a place to go. I, like many, couldn't go where people use artificial fragrances and must avoid things that can make me worse.
I hope to help people in the future, maybe join or start an organization that helps people leave abusers and start a new life. It's almost impossible to get better while with an abuser.
It's way under diagnosed. I've ran across this over and over in the neighborhood.
Agree. I say this all the time. The research isn’t showing the true numbers. I’ve known quite a few of these types.
Completely agree!!!!
That’s it be like in the “hood”, right “dawg” na mean, homie. I know you understand me “homie”
@@asdsadasdsad9897
The f#< are you talking about?
@@eeeriebrilliance you’re ethnic, you get it
Excellent video - looking forward to the next one! Thanks so much for shedding the light on these people
I do know about the people who do not care, do not have remorse, and would never in their lifetime apologize for anything.
I've been subjected to quite a few con men and women.
Dr. Phil. I hope you know how much appreciated you are in our community. You are such a humble person. Thank you for being the best version of yourself. I just love the fact that what you see is what you get. Keep it real like you always have you are highly respected and humble. I love that about you. Your family is very blessed and I know you see them as a blessing as well. What a great breath of fresh air to see normalization and healthiness broadcasted throughout the world. God bless you for all that you do, and all that you are through the grace and mercy of The Lord that has bestowed these gifts on you that he you have used in the best way you deserve all the goodness that comes your way
Your new show is a free gift towards Love and understanding,I believe that you are a true Expert…thank you
Yep Dr P is a badass psychology dude.
The trick is to get out or away before you get backed into a corner feeling trapped and then become aggressive. Then they turn it back on you. I would have left so many situations 20 years ago if I got the right help from therapists. Several dropped the ball and I ended up with severe codependency symptoms and CPTSD.
I’m in the same boat. Was married to a psychopath for 10 years. Been gone for 7, but the damage is severe!
This sounds like me.
Amazing so many people can relate to this. I've shared this series with a friend and it has really helped her. Thank you for what you do.
You're nice, Dr. Phil. I am intrigued by your vulnerability, comforted by your genuine communication style, impressed by your scope of knowledge and proud of you for your accomplishments. I'm glad you started this channel, it's feels a little more intimate without the chaos of guests and an audience. Good luck with the project. you've got me onboard!
This is blatantly a fake account you're using - perhaps he would reply if you had a real one.
@@DailyCorvid
It's real. Why do you think otherwise?
@@eeeriebrilliance because I have seen a million of them and it's exactly the same each time. If I describe why you will report the comment and it will disappear.
That is the real function of this account.
@@DailyCorvid So, let me get this straight - you think MY account is fake, or are you talking about the account that posted the Dr Phil video? Because that one might be fake but mine isn't
@@DailyCorvid And btw - I don't need and wasn't expecting a reply. Dr Phil had a couple of moments in this video where he showed his vulnerability and I just thought maybe if he reads through the comments, he would feel encouraged by mine. But I guess since, according to you, I'm nothing but a BOT with a "blatantly fake" account, he should just not take anything positive from what I wrote. Okaaay... that doesnt make any sense, even if this WAS a fake account
I'm aspd & I've been in therapy weekly for 7 months. I couldn't find a therapist to take me for 7 yrs, nobody wants to treat it. That needs to change. The psychology field needs to stop with the stigma within itself.
Is therapy helping you?
How is your relationship w your parents
Thank you Doctor Phil for offering the valuable counselling for those of us who haven’t the ability to access counselling.
Absolutely eye opening. I am 70 years old, raised in a toxic family. I am learning how to protect myself. This pod cast has been enlightening and life changing. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
OMG. I just found this series and just actually found "Phil in the blanks" podcast. I thought I was going crazy. I was wondering if I was messed up myself. (and could be since my dad was a total Narcissist) 14 years of questioning myself. Now I know. I am blown away over this series. I will listen over and over again to this and educate myself on how to manage my life better. You have been a God Send !!!!!! Thank you so so much !!!!
Thank You Dr Phil for making everything so clear, I look forward to every episode, as everything makes sense whenever you explain it. It most certainly makes people around us easier to understand and to handle. Your work is truly appreciated by all of us who listen !!!
The trouble this information would've saved me 20 years ago would've changed the game completely.
You are definitely helping us Dr Phil. Thank you so much🙏
You empower the people, Phil. That's what I believe in doing and have done in my counseling as well. Knowledge is power and if people internalize that, they can use that to be wiser and to live a more fulfilling and empowered life.
The story of my life dr Phil..... all the way from Portugal.
Thank you for your message. Your doing amazing job. It's helping me so so much.. bless you Dr Phil....
I definitely am a covert narcissist. It kinda opened my eyes. I don't think I feel anything except fear of abandonment. I lie because I fearful that my past and who I am is not enough for anyone to want to stick around. Instead of setting boundaries on things I'm not comfortable talking about. I would choose lying to skip over a topic or didn't feel like explaining myself and laziness and no consideration of the potential harm that it could cause my spouse. Until now I see it. Kinda changes my story of who I thought I was. All the past just changed in a moment apon learning what I am. It's like I'm on a different planet ALl of a sudden I'm the villain and thought I was the hero the whole time. Shook to my core
Best to educate yourself to protect yourself from these people. Thank you Dr. Phil! This should be taught to students as soon as they're at the age where they could understand how to recognize these predators. And then like Dr. Phil said, the ASPD types would be just be schooled on what to do and not to do. More amo for them to continue to charm and con others, including the bark off a tree.
Thank you so much for making this available. It’s really empowering to hear it laid out like this ❤
Hi Dr. Phil. I happened to do a TH-cam "psychopath" search and I happily recognized you! You have described my ex-husband 100%! I discovered he was a psychopath (in name only) during our divorce process (we just divorced last year; my first marriage). My sister told me he displayed Antisocial Personality Disorder character traits (as we were divorcing) and he checked off EVERY bullet point! The sad thing is, we have a young child but due to California's FLAWED family law court, he was initially granted joint legal and physical custody! So my son could have lost his life on SEVERAL occasions due to my ex's lack of unconditional love and supervision for his own child, and especially his DEEP desire to hurt ME through our child since he KNOWS the love I have for my son! And my ex WON'T stop! Though he just remarried (wife #6), he doesn't find happiness in her but in continuing to hurt me through our child! Thanks to your video, now I know he won't change (he doesn't want to anyway), so I will stop expecting him to wake up and be remorseful! I was just awarded physical custody last month by the way, but it's because my son has been too afraid to go to his father's house. BUT my ex falsified a custody document with the court's seal and judge's signature on it (he's a notary (in addition to a mail carrier) so I guess he has the equipment to do this), even fooling the police, so like I said, he JUST WON'T STOP!
Sounds like my first husband, he was married to two other women before we got divorced and didn't care about his children. He lied all the time and hurt me but all I cared about was my children's feelings. I'm grown I can take it but they are kids
Therapists in the past said to forgive them! Give the benefit of the doubt! Be the bigger person! Improve your communication! All WRONG.
Forgive them so you can be at peace, however run away.
@@Jess-kn8vl
I'm not a big fan of that whole "forgiveness" concept. To me, it's like saying, "You have to show respect because they are your boss, parent, elder, etc. I don't think showing someone who behaves in an un-respectable way respect, or forgiving someone who has treated you terribly is a productive or affirming way to deal with certain people. I also believe that it enables bad behaviour
@@eeeriebrilliance lv held that same belief, even back when it was popular to "forgive" because it "helps" you to move on..
l think "forgiving" just makes it all wrapped up in a pretty package they can put away, but to me (even tho the "forgiveness" advocates will deny it) its saying it was ok.. and l will never endorse that..
no way. ever.
@@forsakenjones4695
f that. peace = justice.
forgiveness is for those l live.. only.
love *
.
oh, and for those that cant type..
: /
I always laugh when I hear “experts” say it’s only 1 % of the population. It’s way waaaaaaaaay higher. I’ve known too many of these monsters in my own life. Most of them have been wicked women, believe it or not. (Two stepmothers & a half sister had/have these traits.) The women are just more covert and stealthy.
Totally agree!!!!!!
I so agree. Looking back, a lot of the toxic individuals with whom I've interacted over the years most def fit the profile...
I thought so too, but narcs are like lumps in oatmeal - just concentrated in certain places and situations. There's a higher percentage in singles on datingsites over 40. There are more in the women that approach men, then in the women that wait untill approached. There are more in law, politics, and Hollywood. And sadly, there are more of them concentrated around people, raised by cluster B's as children.
@@Frederiekje221
Good observation
@Frederiekje221 l was going to say also that certain personality types attract them more than others.. some are "healthy" and others more vulnerable.. combine that with ppl who were raised in the same environment with one, and that applies towards a familiarity in attraction as well..
My younger sister is like this, but she's really refined the art. As she was a child she had serious behavioural problems, aggressiveness, lying and just unacceptable behaviour. At 9 she was alcohol addicted, violent, jealous, triangulating, gaslighting and all that jazz. She then went intern in a psychiatric ward for two years, where she learned to refine her devious behaviour. She was no longer physically aggressive but more proficient in lying, playing victim/hero, gaslighting, manipulating, triangulating to the point she managed to fool almost everyone. Even while destroying my parents marriage they would still treat her like a princess that could do no wrong.( I became the black sheep due to her lies and triangulation and in earlier years I was her punching bag. And she always managed to convince my parents that it was me who was agressive). She got pregnant really quick after finding a suitable man that she could manipulate, gaslight and use. He is sticking with her because of the children. Those children need to appease their mom to avoid her bad side. But she's really really good at portraying herself as the perfect person, while I know that everything she has is built upon lies. I recently let her know that I know how she smears me behind my back, telling horrible lies, and that I don't think that's a basis for a relationship. I know she's gonna use this against me, but most of the damage has already been done. I do think some people are slowly becoming aware that something is 'off' with her. I know in her professional life people see through her really quick and she has trouble keeping jobs. She now works as a caregiver for geriatric patients, and she mostly works alone so this time around she might hold out. I fear for her patients who might be exposed to her aggressive behaviour. So I suppose time will tell.
Omg, I'm so impressed that you were able to come to grips with the reality of this person and protect yourself. Remember, you're not obligated to love someone, just because they're family. Blood is NOT thicker than narcissistic abuse and I admire you for standing up to her. On a side note, I had a friend who's mother was toxic narcissist and also a home healthcare nurse (God save us all) She had absolutely no regard for her patients (except when wearing the skin of the false self she put on in public) and was eventually fired when it was discovered that she'd been replacing the liquid morphine prescribed to an elderly burn victim with cough syrup and taking the morphine herself. I guess a couple of times the nurse who relieved her when her shift ended came to work and found my friends mother passed out with the patient unnattended and in a lot of pain. She was also found to have been helping herself to the patient's checkbook and was actually prosecuted for it. This woman did all of the things you described your sister doing but to her children. My friend was very beautiful and watching her mother manipulate, abuse and terrorize her out of pathological envy was really difficult, if eye opening
This is what my friend Ricky does antisocial personality
Wrong job for her. I would totally fear for those she's meant to care for and help. I have worked in aged care, there is shocking people that get in on that work and get to abusing the elderly in many different ways. You'd be astounded at how many assholes are in care roles... Soon as the invaded can get back to that work, the sooner I will be able to get back into that particular care field and kick alot of abusers buts. I tried years ago and lost job because of it. I'm not scared to lose 1000 jobs now if it exposes the neglect and abuse in care homes and facilities. It's a real and serious thing. Sorry bout my tangent.... Your sister sounds like a hard piece of work to be related to. Hope you know you can find and choose other sisters in this world... 🙏
So your sister, while being painted in a bad light, had held a job, career, and marriage, all while you dont hav one (or any..?) but shes the bad guy..?
when everyone rallys around someone its usually for a reason.. ppl see thru it ("lies") pretty quick so if your parents are proud of her maybe you could be as well..? All l read in your comment is sibling rivalry and bitterness towards your sister.. is she prettier than you..? maybe instead of the negative bashing, try and get her some help, or go to joint therapy together to bond this relationship.. but it sounds like your jealousy is so deep you dont want that..
@@BEAUTYnIQ I'm not jealous at all. I'm very happy with my own life. I'm not into comparing. I actually pity her, because apparently she needs to base her life on lies which I find sad. There has been years of therapy for me, her and our family after which she was placed in a psychiatric facility for her behavioural issues (the psychiatrist actually said that she and I could never be in the same household again, because her abuse impaired my development and she would always be hostile towards me, which has been proven true). She has been in therapeutic settings since she was 4 because of her aggressive behaviour which got worse as she got older. She's an actual sociopath. It's impossible for me to tell my story without her looking bad. I never talk to anyone about this, except in an anonymous way on YT. I'm sorry but your comment is way off the mark. I'm deeply saddened that it is this way. I always stood up for her, because she is my younger sister, regardless of her violent abuse that I took on a daily basis for decades (I knew she was a troubled girl)(notice that my parents never intervened, or punished her for what she did, as she always shifted the blame on me, which negatively impacted my relationshipwith them too.), but I have had to choose my own health and sanity, which she has severely compromised up until I had to end contact. I've tried all that I could, but she insists on targeting me for abuse, and that has to end, or it will end me. You can have your opinion, and I certainly don't owe you, a stranger on the Internet, an explanation. But since you've shown interest in these topics, maybe learn a bit about scapegoating and family mobbing. These things actually happen. And more often than not, the only solution is to remove yourself from the situation, which is not at all an easy decision and comes with a lot of grief for the family/sister you never had, but wished you had.
I must say I appreciate you podcast more than your talk show. I stopped watching your show at the point when you said everyone must have some sort of relationship with their parents. I disagree wholeheartedly. Sometimes the only way to get relief after trying this way, that way or whatever third way, is to sever them from your life. It does not fix all the broken pieces certainly, but it does allow a calm space where the work of fixing the broken pieces can begin.
That’s what makes it so beautiful you spread your knowledge and your help throughout the world because you have a passion and your passion helps others more than you could know you teach humbly and share unselfishly. Thank you.
Wow.. I've known a lot of people like this in varying degrees! Some were obviously abusive. However you have opened my eyes to the others. It is scary how some people mimic empathy. Thank you Dr. Phil.
Eat right, drink right, think right, listen right, speak right, do right
This helps me to understand my sister better who has both BPD and APD, while my mother has both paranoid personality disorder and APD. I had a very difficult relationship when I noticed that my sister took advantage of people without empathy or remorse.
Insightful, entertaining, amusing and such a gift this series is.
Thanks Dr Phil 😊
Marion the Librarian was able to change Harold Hill! Guess it only happens in Iowa City. Thank you for this series! So helpful
I'm 64 year old but never see this my life I'm scary men because I'm 15 years old one men try abused me but run way traum past some men disgusting hate because my past not ease now need rest sleep thanks money don't buy peace ☮️ thanks DR
Excellent !!!
I am overwhelmed with; You; being so right.. You made a Difference in my life ❤
Fascinating analysis Dr Phil. Listening with interest
Sociopath I know took keys to a rental car I had while I was asleep and took the car and totaled it. Looking back, I believe it was a deliberate crash to cause as much damage to me as possible. Of course I was left with the bad credit report.
The path to do what is right is missing-it is kinda like knowing the surface of smthin, but never understanding the depth of this-this is why, or I believe it is why-one will take the high risk because they know it is damaging or could be, but they do not know the pathway to avoid this because they do only know it’s danger or that ppl do not accept these actions. It’s like having a wall between the RIGHT WAY and THEIR WAY.
Thank you. Obrigada dr Phil. Goodnight. Boa noite. The Namibian woman in Portugal..... my experience of a narcissist which I never thought.....and see the real life of this person who isolated me for 5 years......and he is living his life with other 💃💃😂😂
I am always looking forward to your videos,thank you :)
17 years of institutionalized, manipulated, physically, mentally abused. Finally got out. 2nd relationship, very similar. Got out 14 years later. Once again, a third with disorders, going on 5 years. These men move from victim to victim. They don't change, in their mind - You are the Problem...
Dr. Phil. I’ve been watching all of the
Episodes leading up to this. I know you just described my son. I’m so sad.
I was married to a man with this diagnosis. It was terrifying. The abuse was gruesome. I’m genuinely so lucky to have survived him. The only time I feel like I don’t have to look over my shoulder is when he gets locked up which happens often. But when I know he’s released I’m terrified. I wish he would be locked up permanently. He will one day but I scared to death it will be for murder.
My father was a psychopath my brother is as well.
They are absolute monsters!!
Very sadistic! They were both very violent for absolutely no reason!! They just really like to cause physical harm. My brother is a sexual sicko as well. I experienced some sexual abuse from him. He’s always been attracted to me since we were kids. He was also attracted to my mother. I keep no contact with him. My father finally croaked some years ago. That was a relief.
JESUS CHRIST
I’m so sorry you went through that. Even sociopaths are capable of feeling empathy but psychopaths feel no guilt, empathy or remorse. Selfish manipulative predators
Helpful doesn't even come close 😊 So much more useful than meds or self diagnosis or overly worrying about long-term mental health problems
This type of behavior makes me realize how recourseful I can be… prisoners for 25 years learn a lot of skills when they are getting ready to slay a dragon ! Dr.Phil is the goat 🐐
Is it don't/won't care, or can't care?
The problem starts if they enjoy it. Than it becomes evil.
Thank you so much for clarification and educational series
Answered my question!!! Genetic-learned-traumatic Brain Injury! All runs through my bloodline! Very Interesting!!!
So, it can’t be fixed so how do we live with it? What type of Coping Skills?
Stay away from them...or do not complain when they prey on you. THAT is how you cope with antisocial personalities.
@@le_th_ Is that the advice you'd give to a teenager living with a covert narcissistic parent? Or an employee who's new project partner is a covert narcissist? What about if it's one of your own kids who turns out to have this disorder? That makes the situation a little more complex and harder to just "stay away" from
I wish I could put my DIL in my rear view mirror. We take care of my special needs grandson together. She treats me like crap. At least I know now not to expect respect or appreciation. It’s heartbreaking to see what my poor son goes through.
Mirror the psychopath behavior. Turn off your emotions with them. Stop caring.
@@Irispia97
Detach...
Dr Phil, your videos have been very helpful. Thank you for all the information. I live in Thompson CT and i am in danger. I am surrounded by a house full of people who are Gaslighting me and having a panic attack disorder i am on SSDI for, these people are in my opinion, so sick to destroy me inside...preventing me from functioning & I am stuck in bed. I am severely weak. I am losing weight bc my nerves are shot! I fit into a kid's size medium at this point. I cannot tolerate the non stop abuse. My mother is an undiagnosed Sociopath in my opinion that has managed to also destroy my entire family. I was assaulted at this house. The State Police do not care i told them this. My back is in so much pain i cannot do a thing. I am being thrown out of this house bc of complete nonsense lies!!!!!!! The court actually signed off on documents that are so wrong so made up- i almost laughed and thought it was a joke!!! Lying to the cops to get it "documented" bc i try to tell this unstable woman who doesn't know how to be honest- abused in almost every way, stalked, money and items were stolen from this room also. Gaslighting happens every single day, just about which also is destroying me. They find all this comical. Again, an inability to function, get in a comfortable position to write some lengthy answer in a dishonest Notice to Quit the courthouse in Putnam CT has served me twice- both are completely made up and is making me so sick inside i am not able to do anything! I can't turn to the cops due to corruption somehow. The courthouse. the cops, an undiagnosed mother that maliciously destroyed a bond between my daughter and I as she made me a SUBORDINATE to my child!!! Now this residence is speaking to my mother and daughter???? Neither home has any REMORSE or EMPATHY when lying to the cops, courthouse while smearing my name and hoping I am homeless!!! I have no protection. My life is in danger. I collapse when i get these panic attacks!!! I am being SET UP TO LOOK BAD or DOING ILLEGAL THINGS ONLINE!!! Video footage that is NOT ME is being thrown in my face by this house!!! This video you are doing(past tense) is also severely altered!!! God help me from all these lies and abuse!!! My own daughter could care less i am in an abusive environment! That speaks volumes about the alienation done by her grandmother! I am alone and cannot turn to the cops, the homeowner here doesn't care if i live or die!!! Please look into the altering of all these videos. I cannot work to supplement my income and cannot think straight in this environment never mind function!!! If i can't fill out paperwork, my disability is unbearably bad, my back pain is so much worse from an ASSAULT Ann Bichard will not be honest about either!!! Please please help me come to any resolution with every person involved gets held accountable!!!
#hackedcellphone #laughinginbackgroundofvideos #annbichardabuseslies
Solid podcast. I like this even better than his talk show.
They CANT RELATE. AT A FEELING LEVEL. THANK YOU Dr Phil. It explains a lot. Several of these, that I did care about,,, that were JUST AS DESCRIBED,,, to the T,, are dead now. A relief? Yes. But now,,, to grieve the loss of years of time and efforts. Of trying to “ help”,,,, or give/ understand/ love/ explain/ have compassion for,,,, years gone. Wasted. Very much wasted time on people who had bad intentions all along. Wasted. 😢
Great vid, thx Phil. (Perfect kerning on your word slides !)
IMHO, psychopaths Do Know the effect their behavior will have on somebody, and that’s why they behave the way they do. It gives them a sense of power to hurt, demean, control other people. And their own power trumps everything!
Sounds like a cousin of mine to the “T”!
✌️😎
Two stepmothers & a younger half sister for me!
Hi Dr Phil. I have a question. Can you discuss someone with Autism as opposed to someone with anti social personality disorder?
I think it is equally important to identify and own, any traits one's self may have.
The older seasoned ones don't brag, they learn.
"The sooner you intervene the better off you are". My dreamy eyed parents did not intervene with a child with sever conduct disorders and was diagnosed with BPD. My father had a heart attack at a young age and my mothers and my relationship was destroyed by this childs mental illness. Never, ever settle for this horrible illness to run your life. Mental illnesses always win if not stopped, dealt with, and controlled in a responsible manner. He destroyed our mothers mind because the had good intentions. F that.
Thank you so much Dr.Phil ❤️🙏🏻 we appreciate you
i got scared when dr. phil said that psychopaths/anti-socs can be trained...they are like chameleons...damn...
Thank you dr Phil I was verbally and emotionally abused by a sociopath this person was so toxic got me depressed eventually I kicked her out of my life thought we were friends we never were friends and I see why in the long run if I stayed friends it would have gotten worse with her she wouldn’t change at all so she will continue to damage any relationship that she has in her life it’s so sad these people exist in our world there so toxic there going to self destruct there ticking time bombs!
You are right, it starts as child. My stepson ODD kicked my dog the day i brought her home from being spayed. Bio mother destroyed him and left him with us. We called 911 all the time. He was kicked out of every school. He was sent to juvenile detention. We tried psychiatrist, therapists, wilderness camps, nothing worked for his Conduct Disorder. He assaulted me at 17 and went to prison for 2 years for family violence. He is 34 and im positive he is ASPD now. He has abused every woman he has been with. He has terrorized 200+ jobs. He has stolen from me his whole life. I have been No Contact several times as adult. I have 2 grandchildren now, 2 different mothers. I limit Contact and lock up all cash, medication or anything he would steal for money. Im 55 and he has destroyed me. I have PTSD, panic disorder, major depression, nightmare syndrome. He has given me permanent post concussion syndrome from 2 mTBI. I never had any children with my husband. Im so afraid im going to outlive my husband and he is going to murder me for our estate. Thank you for this coverage validating my trauma.
Thank you for informing us
You should definitely do the dark triad.
defo, He should introduce his audience about the dark triad.
You cant tell an abusive sociopath you are living. They will react aggressively and you may not get out alive.
Thank you, Dr. Phil. I have a family member this describes to a T. But other people who have never experienced what this person is really like don't get it, don't understand it... and you might as well be talking to the wall if you try to explain it to them.
They come as Angels of light, they would con anyone
God bless you for saying that everybody is different and deserves love and patience most psychologist and psychiatrist wanted us to write off people who are difficult and not find the coping steals to live and deal with these people that we married or phone love with or our children, you are real you say to us, you can do this you can handle this. You can find ways to live with these people in your life by not being taken advantage of, but by using the skills that you are teaching us. Gosh, I know that your family just honors you and appreciates the God-given talent that was given to Dr. Phil I can’t tell you enough words how grateful I am. That God brought you into the world
Love ourselves first!
I wish courts in the USA would try to see this as a valid reason to protect children. The behaviors are so dangerous to our youth.
Interesting enough, these symptoms of ASPD are very similar to individuals with FASD.
Are they very much like the covert narcissist? It really sounds identical. Are they one in the same, Dr. Phil?
These people get away with things because they pretend they are perfect. But they lack respect they tend to pick on the weaker people. That people have less time for. These people are usually in the popular group and have a higher status. The best way to deal with these people is don't take them seriously. As soon as they show who they are believe them. They like to see if people are stupid enough to do what they say. That's why it's best to notice people's facial expressions and tone of voice. They like to use politeness against people. They might say can you give that to her. And if they say no they will say don't be rude she is right there. These people are sly and enjoy making a fool out of people
I had just moved in with my ex. I thought he was the best thing since sliced bread. We were on the sofa kissing. He totally out of the blue sucked my tongue deeply into his mouth and bit down on it so hard i really thought he was trying to bite it off. I dont think i have ever been so scared in my life. I couldnt do anything other than hit his head. It felt like ages but i think it was about 5 seconds. It certainly wasnt a quick bite. He held his teeth clamped down for at least 4 or 5 seconds.
The most scary thing? I stayed with him for another year. I then had a total breakdown. That was 14 years ago. That relationship changed me forever.
I hope this will help folks recognize the pathology in, say, political reps and not vote for them. Their fear tactics/hero mantra is so telling to me
Thank you Dr Phil ❤️🙏🏻❤️
I truly think I know one. I thought he was just a narcissist which is bad enough but I’ve never before met someone that could be so charming to get something and then cold and try to tell them they hurt you and nothing. Just “sorry you feel that way” and then moves on to the next woman. I notice never stays at a job terribly long. Never married in his 50’s and even said I only care about my parents. I dunno. Hopefully I’ll never have to worry about it again.
I wonder how it plays out in prisons where all these "personalities" meet. Can get crazy I reckon.
I've been avaluted for this disorder and diagnosed and the PCRL check list isn't just something you can just go through and add one thing to my avaluation took 5 months telling people to diagnosed others and themselves doesn't makes sense it's not a 5 min test
Wasn't a specific thing. It was "women love me" for some reason.Still a humble brag. He is also very proud of his unwillingness to change. " I am an a hole", he said with great pride!
Putin Russia the past fascism my friend went Russia and past work 1973 fascism another story thanks DR
Thank you. You're inspirational.
As usual😅
Example for r for instance-impulse to hurt one arises-now this person knows it’s wrong-but the understanding of the recourse for this action-say jail time-does not show itself-the pathway is not there-impulse IS-but recourse or fear of this does not present itself-so to do rightly is not present-afterwards when damage is done-THEN they only are inconvenienced-because of restraint from being free to do as pleased, but they never REGRET the act-only come to understand THIS is my punishment FOR IT.
Thank You
❤Thank you Dr Phil...
Dr Phil, do you think people with these psychopathic traits is a result of different levels of nephylin DNA these people have inherited? Because let's face it, all of these tyrannical traits were exactly the same traits exhibited by the nephylin from Genesis ch 6 on.
Great teaching btw, thanks!
But they’re were huge. Disc rib as giants
This salad Russia dangerous people around sorry but thanks DR
This is my question. I understand that they have no empathy or remorse, but do they understand consequences?
16:43 Thanks!
24:08 Like that man in Chicago who punched that mom and got shot by her son.
I call Bullsht.... they know exactly what they're doing, what they are saying, and they do it on purpose. They just get a free ride?