1st. Just wanna let you and P know how much I appreciate you showing up here ❤ you guys have been my inspiration and encouragement. And a place of comfort and calmness.
the way I relate to the second letter is unexplainable, when you find out there are people like you out there it just gives you this sense of validation that there’s nothing actually wrong with you, because in this society when you don’t conform to some socially adopted patterns among people your age like having these crushes everybody does or having lots of friends and fitting in “successfully” it feels like you’re so excluded and different from your peers when you least wanna stand out in your teenage years, but basically knowing you’re not alone in your experience is the best cure from feeling like an outsider
This tittle is just bringing me back to a moment when i had to say good bye to a guy i was seeing for few months and littelly fell in a love with when i had to go back to my country, that farwell was too emotional for the both of us but i have never ever thought in a million times that could be the last time i would ever seen him again, even though i did all it takes to get back to his country which i did but it was already over, two years had passed by and i still feel that pain
I think it’s also because in a heteronormative society older women are not seen as attractive, there are men who are into older women but it’s much more common for them to prefer younger. They are usually just focused on the looks while women are more attracted to a woman’s intelligence, wisdom, charisma etc. And these qualities are very high in older women (although i think they’re gorgeous too :) maybe this is also why it is common for lesbians to be attracted to older women. Again nobody questions women who are attracted to older men :) it is just sexist society that sees older women as undesirable.
Above everything the health and safety of your child and yourself comes first! J was probably in a relationship with her husband as you were with the woman after her. Both of you NEED some separate individual and with your own family counseling to deal with the pain and damage that these abusive relationships have caused you and your child(ren) so that neither of you bring that past into any future relationship regardless of who you are with. If the two of you decide to approach the idea of starting up again the two of you will need counseling together to see if you are even compatible and are able to leave the past behind. You may have ended the relationship with your abusive ex with a clean break but J will have some sort of relationship with her ex-husband, even at a distance, as he is the father of her children. At the least he will be at weddings, holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, etc. which opens up another can of worms. Her children may only see you as the one that broke up their parents, why they can't see their dad when and where they want because of the restraining order never seeing the reason behind it. Do NOT drop the restraining order at this time! The biggest lesson you should have learned for your abusive ex is that you should heed all the red flags but it takes time for even some of the red flags to appear. Take your time and fight the urge to go 'all in' because the flood of hormones only blind you to who they are. Red flags never appear as a huge banners waving in a strong breeze but little puffs of smoke that you may only see out of the corner of your eye. They will only get more frequent and easier to see as time goes on. As you see these puffs talk to them and if they make excuses or statements like "that's just who I am, get use to it", tell you that you are wrong/crazy or demand you except them you know that it's time to start backing out. It is much easier to back out when you take your time. I would rather hear that I "didn't give them a chance" than to repeatedly hear how it was 'my fault' or that they "will change" when they didn't after the first time.
They say the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour, someone who has dropped you 6 consecutive times before you even got together properly is really waving more red flags than a communist parade! Whatever the cause, the facts are these. Life is challenging and relationships are challenged in multiple ways, will this woman eject this poor girl every time the road gets a bit rough? I would encourage the letter writer to stay away. Relationships don’t have to be hard, there is someone out there for you who will not drive you to the edge of complete insanity. You’ve already been to hell and back, don’t go there again, cut your losses and run! P.S. can you please link to P’s TH-cam account? I can’t seem to find it! Many thanks and kind regards, always delighted to see you guys! Look me up if you’re ever in London, UK, it’s an amazing place in the summer.
Some people have disorganized attachment style so they come and go because they can't stand closeness and yet crave it. Once they manage to somehow communicate their needs (for example, via coming and going) and the other person proves to be receptive to those, they might stop doing it. People do change as circumstances do change. No one behaves the same way towards a person they've only known for a week as opposed to years and how others behave towards us, changes how we behave towards them... Life does not come with a rule book and is, inherently, unpredictable. Anything can happen...
@@aves8560 Very wise words. A brilliant template for providing security and sustaining longevity in a relationship. Some people have the resilience to weather these storms, others can have an anxious attachment themselves and can be absolutely triggered by push pull patterns, which is what seems to have happened to the letter writer. I think it's paramount the letter writer sees to their own mental health first before attending to the relationship. After all, there can be no relationship if the letter writer has wound up in hospital due to a breakdown. I wish Sadie and P and all the commenters the happiness in every sphere of life. Thanks for the heads up P about the link, P!
Older women have always been a thing for me too. Fanfic has always been a helpful saviour especially for the actors who are just too damn beautiful and also straight lol. I knew I was a lesbian at like 12 thanks to Gillian Anderson as Dr. Dana Scully in the X-Files( and others). But when I was 15 and Mariska Hargitay plays Detective Olivia Benson omfg 🤤🥰. She just turned 60 this year and is a Captain on the show now ( spoiler alert lol) . I'm going to be 40 next spring. The love is still alive 👍❤️. Anyways fanfic 👍😎📚 just thought I would drop in for that bit.
This woman has cheated twice now on her husband, once with a man and once with the author. The second woman was also cheating. The author needs to focus on herself and grow to a point of knowing she deserves a faithful relationship. Focus within. We can’t expect to find happiness outside ourselves. We must find it within. ❤
![[4K직캠] BABYMONSTER(베이비몬스터) - FOREVER](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/PS3UAFto1z8/mqdefault.jpg)
1st. Just wanna let you and P know how much I appreciate you showing up here ❤ you guys have been my inspiration and encouragement. And a place of comfort and calmness.
the way I relate to the second letter is unexplainable, when you find out there are people like you out there it just gives you this sense of validation that there’s nothing actually wrong with you, because in this society when you don’t conform to some socially adopted patterns among people your age like having these crushes everybody does or having lots of friends and fitting in “successfully” it feels like you’re so excluded and different from your peers when you least wanna stand out in your teenage years, but basically knowing you’re not alone in your experience is the best cure from feeling like an outsider
This tittle is just bringing me back to a moment when i had to say good bye to a guy i was seeing for few months and littelly fell in a love with when i had to go back to my country, that farwell was too emotional for the both of us but i have never ever thought in a million times that could be the last time i would ever seen him again, even though i did all it takes to get back to his country which i did but it was already over, two years had passed by and i still feel that pain
“Yes I do. Where are yours?😂” Noted.
I think it’s also because in a heteronormative society older women are not seen as attractive, there are men who are into older women but it’s much more common for them to prefer younger. They are usually just focused on the looks while women are more attracted to a woman’s intelligence, wisdom, charisma etc. And these qualities are very high in older women (although i think they’re gorgeous too :) maybe this is also why it is common for lesbians to be attracted to older women. Again nobody questions women who are attracted to older men :) it is just sexist society that sees older women as undesirable.
That aside, i’m soooooo glad that dear Sadie and P is back ❤️ love seeing you on my feed
Someone is married, you don't go there. Period. Forgive me if I don't cry her a river.
Why? Maybe they are poly? I am a (goldstar) lesbian but I'd be with a married couple, provided they both want me. Weird. I know.
@@aves8560 If the husband reacted the way he did, obviously they were NOT poly.
Above everything the health and safety of your child and yourself comes first!
J was probably in a relationship with her husband as you were with the woman after her. Both of you NEED some separate individual and with your own family counseling to deal with the pain and damage that these abusive relationships have caused you and your child(ren) so that neither of you bring that past into any future relationship regardless of who you are with. If the two of you decide to approach the idea of starting up again the two of you will need counseling together to see if you are even compatible and are able to leave the past behind.
You may have ended the relationship with your abusive ex with a clean break but J will have some sort of relationship with her ex-husband, even at a distance, as he is the father of her children. At the least he will be at weddings, holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, etc. which opens up another can of worms. Her children may only see you as the one that broke up their parents, why they can't see their dad when and where they want because of the restraining order never seeing the reason behind it. Do NOT drop the restraining order at this time!
The biggest lesson you should have learned for your abusive ex is that you should heed all the red flags but it takes time for even some of the red flags to appear. Take your time and fight the urge to go 'all in' because the flood of hormones only blind you to who they are. Red flags never appear as a huge banners waving in a strong breeze but little puffs of smoke that you may only see out of the corner of your eye. They will only get more frequent and easier to see as time goes on. As you see these puffs talk to them and if they make excuses or statements like "that's just who I am, get use to it", tell you that you are wrong/crazy or demand you except them you know that it's time to start backing out. It is much easier to back out when you take your time. I would rather hear that I "didn't give them a chance" than to repeatedly hear how it was 'my fault' or that they "will change" when they didn't after the first time.
I miss seeing you both kissing at the end of the videos you made. Love lots Sadie & P 😊
They say the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour, someone who has dropped you 6 consecutive times before you even got together properly is really waving more red flags than a communist parade! Whatever the cause, the facts are these. Life is challenging and relationships are challenged in multiple ways, will this woman eject this poor girl every time the road gets a bit rough? I would encourage the letter writer to stay away. Relationships don’t have to be hard, there is someone out there for you who will not drive you to the edge of complete insanity. You’ve already been to hell and back, don’t go there again, cut your losses and run! P.S. can you please link to P’s TH-cam account? I can’t seem to find it! Many thanks and kind regards, always delighted to see you guys! Look me up if you’re ever in London, UK, it’s an amazing place in the summer.
It’s in the video description 😊
Some people have disorganized attachment style so they come and go because they can't stand closeness and yet crave it. Once they manage to somehow communicate their needs (for example, via coming and going) and the other person proves to be receptive to those, they might stop doing it. People do change as circumstances do change. No one behaves the same way towards a person they've only known for a week as opposed to years and how others behave towards us, changes how we behave towards them... Life does not come with a rule book and is, inherently, unpredictable. Anything can happen...
@@aves8560 Very wise words. A brilliant template for providing security and sustaining longevity in a relationship.
Some people have the resilience to weather these storms, others can have an anxious attachment themselves and can be absolutely triggered by push pull patterns, which is what seems to have happened to the letter writer. I think it's paramount the letter writer sees to their own mental health first before attending to the relationship.
After all, there can be no relationship if the letter writer has wound up in hospital due to a breakdown.
I wish Sadie and P and all the commenters the happiness in every sphere of life.
Thanks for the heads up P about the link, P!
Older women have always been a thing for me too. Fanfic has always been a helpful saviour especially for the actors who are just too damn beautiful and also straight lol.
I knew I was a lesbian at like 12 thanks to Gillian Anderson as Dr. Dana Scully in the X-Files( and others). But when I was 15 and Mariska Hargitay plays Detective Olivia Benson omfg 🤤🥰.
She just turned 60 this year and is a Captain on the show now ( spoiler alert lol) . I'm going to be 40 next spring. The love is still alive 👍❤️.
Anyways fanfic 👍😎📚 just thought I would drop in for that bit.
This woman has cheated twice now on her husband, once with a man and once with the author. The second woman was also cheating. The author needs to focus on herself and grow to a point of knowing she deserves a faithful relationship. Focus within. We can’t expect to find happiness outside ourselves. We must find it within. ❤
🏳️🌈🌈😊🤟🏻💯🇵🇭🇦🇪