I think you need to take a step back a little bit and reflect on your own standpoint/identity in approaching this topic. She is a brown-skinned Black queer woman, so you're not going to understand the rejection she has constantly faced. It isn't a "choice" or just "trauma" it is how society as a whole is engineered against Black people (especially Black women - featurism, colourism, queerphobia ext) which goes beyond just dating. It's not something she has created in her mind or victimisation, as you called it. It may not have been your intention, but that comes across as quite insensitive.
I’m a black lesbian woman from the UK & feel exactly the same. I don’t just want to be told ‘but you are pretty and cool tho’. Unfortunately, that doesn’t change the situation.
@@bibsp3556 She did do like 100-200 speed dates and got 0 matches back out of several she put out, and she reports back near 0 interest from the rest anyway. Tbh, I wouldn't be surprised however if the people can sense the mental illness that she has and are staying a bit away (she was taking meds for it before but came off them). She's used to men being so horny they overlook that aspect.
as a black woman this video made me so damn angry you will never know what it’s like to be on the bottom I hate when poc victimize themselves for unnecessary reasons but she is not over exaggerating I can’t speak for the UK but as a black woman in America stats literally show we are the least desirable and the least married women in the country im only 19 and I’ve never had a bf all the guys I’m surrounded by even black guys make sure to make it known that THEY DO NOT LIKE BLACK WOMEN I’m not overweight I don’t think I’m ugly we are just not really wanted whatsoever and if they do like black women they are mixed or lightskinned so for u as a white woman to sit here and act as if she’s doing too much or that her self esteem is low is ridiculous because u are in no position to speak on her situation. Dating as a black woman is hard and that’s just the sad reality of it I’m not looking for sympathy and I don’t thinks she was either it’s just the truth.
Then adding to all that: the desire to date ONLY other women and the dating pool suddenly shrinks ten fold, you are absolutely right and I can't even finish this video because it has genuinely upset me. We should be trying to address the societal aspects that affect women POC rather than have white people point the finger at us saying we are victimising ourselves.
She's not looking for oppression points or sympathy, you can tell by her tone of voice and body language. She's just being honest. As a white woman, I hate that all these (usually) LGBT white women/ biological females (who may identify as smth else) think they can speak for everyone all the damn time. Like no, sit down
@@mob2181 maybe it's your personality, or maybe you never approach men you like (assuming they also show interest). I've heard it's not as uncommon as people think for average or even decently attractive women to not be approached often. And btw, not trying to dismiss your experience but most black men prefer to date black women. Dating & marriage stats reflect that, idk why people think most black men prefer non-black women
@@NoRockinMansLand every time I go outside I see at least 2 to 4 interracial couples including black men and it’s usually with white women. I see a few black couples but it’s pretty rare. Also no it’s not my personality I wouldn’t say I’m off putting at all I would say I’m extroverted and I don’t walk around with a stank attitude. I’m just not as wanted because I’m black it’s simple. I don’t approach black men where I live because it’s obvious I am not what they want. As a woman when men aren’t attracted to you it’s so obvious you will be able to tell in the matter of seconds. The lack of eye contact they will start ignoring you. Men treat you like an object not in a way where they are using you but in a way that a chair exists is the way you exist to them. Ur just the in the way to them. Dating as a black woman is difficult I’m not obese I wouldn’t say I’m ugly I take care of my skin and my hair I make sure my nails are always done. It’s literally that I’m black that’s just how it goes.
I related to kids video because i undetstand her experience. Im a black british queer girl. People in the uk typically keep to their towns, we aren't willing to travel more than half an hour for dates, or to see people really. Black women are swiped on less and the dating pool of young queer women is very small. Unless you consciously date through apps or speed dating (when you live in the country side) it is likely you wont meet enough queer ladies to make those kinds of connections (chemistry also matters). A lot of the queer ladies ive met have never had a girlfriend and and think thats because the culture here (people keep to themselves a lot) and the uk doesnt have a huge population. racisim here is also pretty covert but abundant and in the queer community tbh they dont even try to hide it. The queer girls that get the most attention in the few lesbian spaces that exist are aleternative and white. I personally observe it as a small bubble thing that in the uk queer community, liberal, aleternative, white women are the most sort after and black women (especially femme black women) are least desired (especially on apps). it was a thing in the uk for a while where people would write on their profile no black people, no asians ect
Black queer femme in the u.s. here, I hear you sis and kid, and the thing I've learned the most about dating in this body, is that internalized racism will have you single as hell, lol. I could see that being an issue for kid and I hope she challenges herself on that and the Internalized homophobia.
The "no blacks, no asians, etc" was often a thing here in the US as well. At least when I used to browse apps, hell back in the 90's when I was a young Lesbian myself in San Diego, CA racist Lesbians were " loud and proud" about their feelings as well. I believe that no one should pursue anyone that isn't into them. The unintentional dismissiveness gets really annoying, just because "everyone's" trauma is being acknowledged today is excellent but people still need to "think" things through when understanding or commenting on the trauma of others.
@@Aireekuh62523 The dating pool hasn't changed much when it comes to lack of interracial dating in the LGBTQIA. As a pansexual I got turned down by a trans guy I was really into. He wasn't interested because of my race. It hurt because I really liked him and I'm extremely shy and introvert. So it ook me about a month to tell him how I felt. But he said he's only into women of his own race. It hurt... but I got over it.
Queer Black women face both colorism and racism in the queer community. Kidology lives in the UK where the beauty standard is white/mixed light skin women, and it doesn’t help that the queer community in the UK is quite small. Don’t invalidate an experience that you’ll never understand.
It’s always weird how some people will act like they’ve never heard of racism, preferences, statistics, and other evidence that the world isn’t a colorblind utopia…but only when it speaks to perspectives they’d rather avoid than deal with. lol Push hard enough in any direction, and even the people you’d least expect will start telling you that you’re just imagining your own lived experience because what you’re saying doesn’t happen to them.
@@annjepsen1621 I can't comment on her personality as I really don't know enough about it. But then there is the issue of lesbians needing 3-4 business days and advanced warning to process being flirted with by another woman, and then to wave it off as them just being friendly anyway.
@@Brewtifulteas yeah and then immediately text our more experienced ex gf-turned-bff who taught us gaydar, and describe the event to her in exhaustive detail so she can analyze the situation, translate girl body language, and explain in no uncertain terms what ACTUALLY happened in that moment. im pretty sure half of us are just total idi0ts
give her a brake...she just discovered that she's a low value woman who is gonna need to spend the rest of her life getting over straight-girl crushes :/...of course she's sad about it.
As someone who has watched a lot of Kid’s more introspective content, Brittany’s assessment that her self image is shaped by a lifetime of trauma is 1000% spot on. She needs so much therapy it’s not even funny.
...You sound like the incel forum guys that outright dismiss her experience of struggling to date, having people in your dms doesn't equal irl success, she's talked about being consistently been rejected by woman in person before she moved to the countryside, so her insecurity is based on her experience. Altho i do agree, sometimes the way she talks about her looks blows me away, because she's clearly beautiful.
this video felt like a gut punch to me because i relate to kidology sooo much as a fellow (extremely insecure) lesbian. the phrase "nobody wants to be with an attractive person who complains about being ugly all the time. it's annoying." wow. i felt like i had just been stabbed when i heard that. one of the main reasons things ended up not working out with my ex was her not being able to deal with my constant negativity and self-deprecation. :/ she said similar things to me all the time and i still let my self-hatred ruin the good thing i had managed to build with her. trauma around abandonment / unworthiness is so hard to overcome and can wreck havoc in your life. i wish i had seen this video earlier!!!
Nuance is important. She's a black woman which already makes it harder to date but she's also in a majority white place and has assimilated(from my own observations) so close to whiteness that even black people are more likely to reject her and I'm only saying this cause i have the exact same experience But you're right she is femme, skinny and well spoken. Maybe less likely to be chosen compared to white women? Yes. Bottom of the food chain? Absolutely not😂 Also saying the statistics about black women not being able to date doesn't translate into real life AS A NON BLACK PERSON is crazy😭😭😭
I agree with this comment! I want to say when I (Brittany) look at dating statistics, I'm looking at numbers that reflect dating games. Those numbers aren't talking about love. They're talking about marriage or cohabitation that often leads to divorce or breakups. We aren't teaching people to marry the RIGHT person. We are teaching people just to date anyone "good enough." So when people say they're struggling in dating, they're saying they're playing the "good enough" game and they're still not happy. If you know how truly rare it is to meet someone who is "exactly right" than complaining about it, it seems almost insane. Finding the 'exactly right' person is about knowing you might never meet them, even though they definitely exist in 'large' numbers on the planet.
I 100% agree with you. As a black woman, I have experienced this my entire life lol So I know exactly where Kid is coming from. And you could be the hottest black woman ever and you will still get overlooked simply because you are black. So here being Femme and skinny isn't really something to fall back on. You can interpret the stats in that way all you want, but it still does not account for the very real racism that black women face while trying to date. And sometimes, as fucked up as it is, it's as simple as that.
As a Black woman who is also a lesbian, I really wish we could stop putting ourselves down and pitting ourselves against other women, especially white women. They don't have anything that we lack, and constantly dwelling on the fact that we are not the western standard of beauty(which we shouldn't even be trying to aspire to) isn't going to change anything, it will only make us feel more miserable and insecure, and give non-Black women cause to feel better than us, because we keep letting them by putting ourselves down. I know it's easier said than done, but still. There are plenty of queer women who are open to dating Black women. And even according to western beauty standards, she is still closer to them than I. She has lighter skin than me, does not wear glasses, and also wears her hair straight, rather than natural. The only part I disagree with is the femme part, as Black women are masculinized and seen as less feminine even when we do present as femme, due to racist society, so being femme isn't really a point in our favor(especially with femme invisibility being a thing). But tldr we need to start uplifting ourselves and stop focusing on statistics and views of others that tell us that we should feel lesser than for being "unattractive". Who cares what a bunch of numbers on dating apps say? I know I'm popping, no matter what!
I have seen so many baby queer women enter the lesbian dating scene and get discouraged and wish that they were attracted to men because getting male attention IS easier. The dating dynamics in the WLW dating pool can be culture shock; when I still dated men I could download an app and have a date that night if I wanted to. With women, it takes a lot longer to find someone who wants to meet up and even longer than that for someone who wants to meet up more than once. I think she needs to recognize that her appearance isn't the issue, it's the extreme difference in time investment from what she's used to
@@SapphvannahA decade?! I am confused as to why Kid thinks that it would take a decade to find someone. I am married now but back when I was dating, I could find someone compatible mutually interested within 6-12 months. 10 years is crazy.
Dating women is hard!!!! My lesbian friend went from men to women and her dating life tanked!!!! She was constantly putting herself out there and frequently being rejected. I dated women in the past and I realized I hated chasing women or coy games. I have ADHD and my patience for waiting for a person to accept me is low. So I just let it go with female relationships and rather deal with the easiness of dating men.
@@bibsp3556 I gave up the pursuit. Sure it may seem “pathetic” to you. However, I’m happily married, pregnant w/ 1st 👶🏽, and living my dream life. One door closes and another one opens!!! Love will find you, if you let it in naturally 🙏🏾
Well you've also go to consider how much smaller the dating pool becomes right off the bat. Especially if you're looking for either butch for fem lesbians specifically. It's like 5% are lesbian, then something like half are butch and half are fem (more fem iirc.) so it's like 2.5% of the pop you're looking at unless you convert a halfsies hetero grl.
As a Black lesbian, I understand where she's coming from, as Black women do have it harder in the dating sphere. But at the same time, putting yourself down compared to other races isn't going to help. Us Black women already have it hard enough with other groups seeing as less attractive, feminine, and desirable, we need not add to it by confirming their beliefs about us by drowning in pessimism and insecurity. The only part I disagreed with you on is femmes finding it easier to date, as 1) femme invisibility is a thing and many of us get read as straight even by other queer folks, and femme4femmes have their own struggles in the dating world, and 2) Black femmes are masculinized and seen as less feminine than white femmes, so even the femmes who are open to dating other femmes may pass over a Black femme either because of a racist lack of attraction or because they don't see us as femme even though we are. But you are right that if you want a partner, you need to develop the confidence to tell yourself that you are beautiful and worthy of love, although of course it's easier said than done, so I agree with you that she needs to go to therapy and likely has some unresolved trauma that she needs to unpack. I can't speak for her, but I do hope she finds the support and love she needs and deserves. 🥰
Wow people totally invalidated her feelings , guess what lesbians can also have racial prejudice- but everyone runs to ohhh it’s her MH- England has a pretty racist history.
as a bisexual Indian woman in the UK that presents as kinda femme but also masc I’m so confused! I’ve had some odd experiences in the queer community but I’ve also had some great experiences! Kidology needs to get themselves to a city in the UK ASAP! She needs to expand her bubble ‘cause I’m shook…(and I know my bubble of queers would be shook too).
Black women do have a harder time on dating apps but "Z" (idk this influencer) is also thin, cis, and soft femme presenting. She does need to move to Atlanta though lol--its much harder dating in majority white cities or where your ethnicity is not the majority. also if Z wants to date women and experience them (forget a relationship atm) she should get on Feeld! A decade is INSANE. Even 10 weeks is insane.
Don’t know if you will see this Brittany but you reacting to this is something I needed to see. I have often felt the same way as Kid and I can sympathize with a lot of her fears around dating as a Black woman but this video and the story you told about your brother kind of woke me up and made me realize I need to change my mentality around this. Sending love to both you and Kid. I hope she gets or is getting the help she deserves.
Because (from my limited experience watching her through the lens of Brittany’s “Orbit”) she’s a self-hating woman, a self hating black person, so it’s so surprise she’s a self hating lesbian too. Wishing her the best though
I was watching her video and thought, “I need to hear what Britt said about this,” because the way she sees herself was tripping me out. I so hope she works through her trauma. She has so many lovely qualities, but I don’t think she’s quite ready to draw in the type of person she wants. She’s young though, and very intelligent. I suspect she won’t stay in this mindset forever.
Has she said anything about being neurodivergent? It's wild to me how many videos she has about interpersonal relationships and how she could be struggling because she black or a woman or not attractive enough but usually doesn't seem like she's thought it could be something else like something that's about her personality specifically that is off putting to people.
Some of her takes could be interpreted as conservative or at least non-woke. Much of the LGBT "community" is woke or at least very left leaning. Her takes are nuanced, moderate and her own. Wich is sign of intellogence. In that position you are attacked by both the left and the right because you do not comform to their tribe. I dont like people who rubberstamp the opinions of a 'tribe'. She certainly is not conservative but she could be in the eyes of the far left. I think the woke/far left imago of LGBT is a stereotype. The majority of LGBT is far left/ woke that I believe but there are enough exceptions to it for her to date. And woke is not a monolith.
@@thijsjong she is literally in desparate need of therapy and it is clear her insecurities and low self esteem color her opinions on society and politics
I wish her the best. She has so much going for her, but I do feel like her conservative tilt is the restricting factor. It's much harder to find LGBTQ people who are acknowledged conservatives.
Some of her takes could be interpreted as conservative or at least non-woke. Much of the LGBT "community" is woke or at least very left leaning. Her takes are nuanced, moderate and her own. Wich is sign of intellogence. In that position you are attacked by both the left and the right because you do not comform to their tribe. I dont like people who rubberstamp the opinions of a 'tribe'. She certainly is not conservative but she could be in the eyes of the far left. I think the woke/far left imago of LGBT is a stereotype. The majority of LGBT is far left/ woke that I believe but there are enough exceptions to it for her to date. Imagine dating someone with diffetent opinions then you
Dating someone who has different opinions than you is fine. Dating someone with different politics than you is a different thing. Politics is often about values. Dating someone who thinks differently is less likely to work out long term.
@@thijsjong I'm not saying you shouldn't date someone with different opinions. But a lot of people don't because we live in a time when people are very reactive.
@@BrittanySimon Agreed. If the root of the differing opinions still have the same underlying values behind them, it can be a successful partnering. A lot of people these days are very reactive to ideas that differ from their own because a decent amount of people don't separate opinions from politics.
Maybe the women type she’s into are not into her? I’m not sure. But I have heard this kind of retoriche from her before. Definitely trauma. Bless her on her journey through.
It’s important to remember even though we form our reality, the children who were abused have not been allowed to form their reality for like the first two decades of their lives. So I think everyone should give space and grace to the abused as they hopefully sort it out and take back their power of forming their own reality. It’s basically impossible to not be stuck in a trauma bubble when all you have known was being abused by sociopaths who did in fact have control over your life because you were a child. This lack of control and ritualistic abuse also shapes how you see the world, until you heal and rewire your brain.
i felt so relieved and seen when she posted that video. there is not a single day in my life where i don't feel unhappy about being lesbian. it's not this magical, pure lovey thing that liberates me from men. it's incredibly isolating and the dating pool is absolutely abysmal. i still date men i don't find attractive because it's just less of a nuisance.
I really appreciate this conversation! im almost 33 & I’ve never been is a serious long term relationship. but ive never really felt lonely because of it. if it happens it happens it’s not something im worried about. when trying to explain that to people they will straight up call me a liar. it’s so confusing to me lol. slayyy Brittany now I feel like I can explain myself a better haha best ive come up with: “dating is a lot of emotional labor I am not interested in doing” lol
Kidology is gorgeous and so smart. ive had a crush on her for years, was overjoyed to hear she came out as wlw and i would date her in a minute. A second. A millisecond.
Z is neurodivergent. She mentioned having FASD (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Disorder) in a video. Edit: During Z's talk with Brittany, she mentioned that being in a relationship gave her a sense of self worth and confidence. It seems like she doesn't have that innately, which is codependent.
i don't think masculine lesbians are somehow at the bottom of the dating pool, at least when ur dating other women. every masculine lesbian i know has had it good when it came to dating. i agree with u overall tho
black lesbians are some of the "bottom of the food chain" in the dating sphere bc a lot of black cultures are very christian and conservative and black lesbians are rarer, and I do think people generally tend to date those who look similar to them which can include race/culture. my black gay friend expresses similar grieviances and has said that he wishes he were a straight guy who was the type that could settle in a relationship before (ofc it's not great to say but he's on his own journey)
(I'm not saying she's lacking a relationship with herself and is overly pessimistic, but just that there's likely an element of truth of her finding difficulties in dating) (I'm also from the UK)
I think she now feels more lonely, because now she actually wants to connect deeply with a woman, and she sees it as being very difficult to find right now. Of course it is also pessimism. And she is lacking a connection, that she will only find after she connects with herself. That explains the loneliness.. she thinks "if I had a girl that loved me then I could love myself" .. but actually, the self love is what is lacking :) It's like she is projecting the lacking outworldly, but it can only be conquered inwordly. Hope she gets that realisation :) So many times we think a relationship is going to save us
Love whoever made the nun comment at the end 😂 Literally throughout this video I kept thinking she needs a gay girl who was raised Catholic!! Someone with a conservative foundation who broke free from their bubble 🫧
I can personally relate to almost everything Z said in this video. I also have complex BPD… could be something for her to think about. Therapy and exercise are saviours when suffering in this bubble!
I think there’s some kind of misunderstanding or miscommunication going on here because I saw *part of* Kidology’s video and my understanding was that she was trying to express the feeling that the experiences of dating as a black woman were difficult enough when she was dating men, but seemed even more daunting when dating women because she was suddenly working with a much smaller amount of options with just as much if not more racism. I don’t know about the UK but I know that when it comes to American media, when a queer woman gets noticed by the queer community, she is usually white, creating alternative music, or acting in shows and movies that are well liked by the LGBT community. This could easily give somebody, especially if they’re already emotionally insecure, the impression that everyday black queer women are simply seen as the least desirable demographic in society and if we’re being honest with ourselves, it’s because they are seen that way. Decades of discrimination and internalized racism have given black people, - especially black women in society this preconceived notion that they often can’t pinpoint the origin of that they are unattractive or undesirable regardless of how good they may actually look.
You're basing the loneliness dismissal on your own experience. Many people are lonely without romantic partners. Maybe their self worth is tied to partners due to trauma, but we are human beings who live in communities. And maybe a fully complete human being wouldn't have the same feelings. But in that case many people are not complete human beings, however you define it. It doesn't mean that it's good, it's just the way it is. And their feelings still exist, and won't go away because someone on the internet says it's not healthy. When telling Kid to go to therapy, you're exhibiting some of the same bias- because in the same way finding a life partner is maybe impossible, so is finding the right therapist. Sure, she might be basing low self esteem on trauma, but that either requires the right partner to look past that, or a one in a million therapist who would, I don't even know what. No amount of introspective therapy is going to make an introspective person not have low self esteem because "oh, I now realize I have abandonment issues because of my adopted family, I didn't realize, thanks." I think the points are good, she definitely has low self image, and needs to branch out into her viewership, however improper it may seem in the current cancel culture, it would likely bring her loads of prospects. But I do think the comments about others having these conversations with their therapists were a bit harsh, and maybe even shaming, many of us feel the same and people like kid bring these issues to light in a way that's beneficial. Especially with her recent speed dating video.
the whole point is introspection in order to realise your actual problems, so that you can figure out a way to work with them and most importantly, heal and move on from them
@@trianglesandsquares420 I mean if I'm explaining it to you it's kind of useless but it's based on personal traumatic events within that slapped-on label, so she'd have to go back to when she felt unseen or was traumatised and give herself the love patience and empathy that was lacking in that moment
@@MusiicRoolz She mentioned in some video that she does feel sympathy for her younger self. I don't think it was just one moment though, it was the entire childhood and adolescence, with many moments thrown in. It doesn't help with the problems. But maybe you're suggesting a specific therapy technique, that might be interesting to try- like reenacting all the moments? It sounds interesting. Not sure all therapists do that, maybe it's just yours, but it might be a cool self help thing to try.
it concerns me from the beginning because she quit this med against the doctors assessment. She said it quickly and worded it as "it wasnt the doctors choice". Its good she reduced it over time instead of cold turkey at least. having a lot of experience as a patient she should either trust her doctor or a second opinion. Its great that she is feeling again, and likely then the right choice was to eliminate that med. Its just much safer with a doctor.
I had a similar situation. I stopped meds because the side effects were making it very difficult to function. I told my doctor about it and she basically said to deal with it. I ended up stopping the meds and have been okay with just therapy.
Great question!!! I'll talk about this on Mondays stream!! Use reddit, use Facebook, use Twitter, use real life interactions, use everything to gather information. Information is all around us and using only one source seems like a self-inflicted blinder. Everyone has a perspective. Some are right and wrong, but all are real enough that they can teach us something. Reddit attracts specific kinds of people. Even on Reddit itself, there are different sides to it. Recognize which bubble you're in and jump into another one and gather info. If you watch fox News, understand they lean right. If you watch CNN, they lean left. TH-cam attracts more of the general public and twitch tends to be more chronically online people. Every bubble is just an ecosystem to gather information and enjoy life in different ways. Ps. Each bubble has its toxic and healthy sides. Try to figure out which one you're interacting with.
I love her so much and i think shes cute to so im confused , ill always support her as my sisster.... but the self flagelation is painful to watch & over kill... i used to be like this . .. i have faith her content will change tho. No one is perfect. Ive deleted many negative videos in my past.. im also queer
Aaah kidology you are great and worthy of being with, even when you are in trauma!!! But of course healing is better for her and would probably lead to more real long-term relationships
I agree it's not reasonable to be unhappy without partner. I've never needed a partner, I've just wanted to be seen. Heartbreak is awful, sure, but when you heal from that nothing changes and you just live your life out how you want to, partner or not. Feeling like you have to have a partner and you can't build your life without one is WILD to me.
I feel the way she does and I'm straight. I also don't know what the hell I want in a relationship or if I even want one so when I put myself on shitty dating apps it's out if boredom and is so depressing anf not fair to me or anyone who's serious about getting in a relationship. Then if I were to use it just to hook up....I'd feel like garbage.
I've been so busy recently that I haven't had time to watch your streams - I forgot how much I love it when you disagree with your audience, lmao. Auntie Brittany is best Brittany
There’s a lot of black women getting mad about this video, but subjectively she’s right. Ok Kidology is dark skin and I’m sure has experienced a lot of trauma in life from systemic racism, straight MEN, and STRAIGHT women. That has nothing to do with the lesbian community. She’s pretty, thin, and femme. Most lesbians would not give a shit about something like skin tone. I know I don’t. This video is not denying any sort of racism. It’s calling out that kidology is factually wrong about being undesirable in the lesbian community. Two separate topics.
KIDOLOGY AND I SPOKE AFTER THIS VIDEO: th-cam.com/video/0ALRRgs4vss/w-d-xo.html
Sending love to Kid! th-cam.com/video/GLPnONpeaeI/w-d-xo.html
Most darkskin black people will relate to Kid’s point of view. It doesn’t matter if you’re pretty or thin.
I think you need to take a step back a little bit and reflect on your own standpoint/identity in approaching this topic. She is a brown-skinned Black queer woman, so you're not going to understand the rejection she has constantly faced. It isn't a "choice" or just "trauma" it is how society as a whole is engineered against Black people (especially Black women - featurism, colourism, queerphobia ext) which goes beyond just dating. It's not something she has created in her mind or victimisation, as you called it. It may not have been your intention, but that comes across as quite insensitive.
Perfectly said
I’m a black lesbian woman from the UK & feel exactly the same. I don’t just want to be told ‘but you are pretty and cool tho’. Unfortunately, that doesn’t change the situation.
@@bibsp3556 She did do like 100-200 speed dates and got 0 matches back out of several she put out, and she reports back near 0 interest from the rest anyway. Tbh, I wouldn't be surprised however if the people can sense the mental illness that she has and are staying a bit away (she was taking meds for it before but came off them). She's used to men being so horny they overlook that aspect.
So much bullshitism and crybabism
@@anatole2478 please learn real words if you want to talk shit on anything
as a black woman this video made me so damn angry you will never know what it’s like to be on the bottom I hate when poc victimize themselves for unnecessary reasons but she is not over exaggerating I can’t speak for the UK but as a black woman in America stats literally show we are the least desirable and the least married women in the country im only 19 and I’ve never had a bf all the guys I’m surrounded by even black guys make sure to make it known that THEY DO NOT LIKE BLACK WOMEN I’m not overweight I don’t think I’m ugly we are just not really wanted whatsoever and if they do like black women they are mixed or lightskinned so for u as a white woman to sit here and act as if she’s doing too much or that her self esteem is low is ridiculous because u are in no position to speak on her situation. Dating as a black woman is hard and that’s just the sad reality of it I’m not looking for sympathy and I don’t thinks she was either it’s just the truth.
Then adding to all that: the desire to date ONLY other women and the dating pool suddenly shrinks ten fold, you are absolutely right and I can't even finish this video because it has genuinely upset me. We should be trying to address the societal aspects that affect women POC rather than have white people point the finger at us saying we are victimising ourselves.
Yes the person in this video is angry for no reason. Probably because she's with a man.
She's not looking for oppression points or sympathy, you can tell by her tone of voice and body language. She's just being honest. As a white woman, I hate that all these (usually) LGBT white women/ biological females (who may identify as smth else) think they can speak for everyone all the damn time. Like no, sit down
@@mob2181 maybe it's your personality, or maybe you never approach men you like (assuming they also show interest). I've heard it's not as uncommon as people think for average or even decently attractive women to not be approached often. And btw, not trying to dismiss your experience but most black men prefer to date black women. Dating & marriage stats reflect that, idk why people think most black men prefer non-black women
@@NoRockinMansLand every time I go outside I see at least 2 to 4 interracial couples including black men and it’s usually with white women. I see a few black couples but it’s pretty rare. Also no it’s not my personality I wouldn’t say I’m off putting at all I would say I’m extroverted and I don’t walk around with a stank attitude. I’m just not as wanted because I’m black it’s simple. I don’t approach black men where I live because it’s obvious I am not what they want. As a woman when men aren’t attracted to you it’s so obvious you will be able to tell in the matter of seconds. The lack of eye contact they will start ignoring you. Men treat you like an object not in a way where they are using you but in a way that a chair exists is the way you exist to them. Ur just the in the way to them. Dating as a black woman is difficult I’m not obese I wouldn’t say I’m ugly I take care of my skin and my hair I make sure my nails are always done. It’s literally that I’m black that’s just how it goes.
I related to kids video because i undetstand her experience. Im a black british queer girl. People in the uk typically keep to their towns, we aren't willing to travel more than half an hour for dates, or to see people really. Black women are swiped on less and the dating pool of young queer women is very small. Unless you consciously date through apps or speed dating (when you live in the country side) it is likely you wont meet enough queer ladies to make those kinds of connections (chemistry also matters). A lot of the queer ladies ive met have never had a girlfriend and and think thats because the culture here (people keep to themselves a lot) and the uk doesnt have a huge population. racisim here is also pretty covert but abundant and in the queer community tbh they dont even try to hide it. The queer girls that get the most attention in the few lesbian spaces that exist are aleternative and white. I personally observe it as a small bubble thing that in the uk queer community, liberal, aleternative, white women are the most sort after and black women (especially femme black women) are least desired (especially on apps). it was a thing in the uk for a while where people would write on their profile no black people, no asians ect
Thank you for sharing ❤️
Black queer femme in the u.s. here, I hear you sis and kid, and the thing I've learned the most about dating in this body, is that internalized racism will have you single as hell, lol. I could see that being an issue for kid and I hope she challenges herself on that and the Internalized homophobia.
The "no blacks, no asians, etc" was often a thing here in the US as well. At least when I used to browse apps, hell back in the 90's when I was a young Lesbian myself in San Diego, CA racist Lesbians were " loud and proud" about their feelings as well. I believe that no one should pursue anyone that isn't into them. The unintentional dismissiveness gets really annoying, just because "everyone's" trauma is being acknowledged today is excellent but people still need to "think" things through when understanding or commenting on the trauma of others.
@bijismythe551 yeah. I guess america and uk tend to mirror each other culturally so I'm not so surprised to hear similar has happened in America too
@@Aireekuh62523 The dating pool hasn't changed much when it comes to lack of interracial dating in the LGBTQIA. As a pansexual I got turned down by a trans guy I was really into. He wasn't interested because of my race. It hurt because I really liked him and I'm extremely shy and introvert. So it ook me about a month to tell him how I felt. But he said he's only into women of his own race. It hurt... but I got over it.
kidology is cute i hope she finds a cool lady that she wants to explore a good relationship with 👍
I'm sure she will, it'll just take more time than normal.
Queer Black women face both colorism and racism in the queer community. Kidology lives in the UK where the beauty standard is white/mixed light skin women, and it doesn’t help that the queer community in the UK is quite small. Don’t invalidate an experience that you’ll never understand.
It’s always weird how some people will act like they’ve never heard of racism, preferences, statistics, and other evidence that the world isn’t a colorblind utopia…but only when it speaks to perspectives they’d rather avoid than deal with.
lol Push hard enough in any direction, and even the people you’d least expect will start telling you that you’re just imagining your own lived experience because what you’re saying doesn’t happen to them.
As a lesbian, I would like to say... If basing it purely on looks, I would 1,000% date her.
Same girl, same.
@@annjepsen1621 I can't comment on her personality as I really don't know enough about it. But then there is the issue of lesbians needing 3-4 business days and advanced warning to process being flirted with by another woman, and then to wave it off as them just being friendly anyway.
I’d date her based on both her looks & intelligence
@@Brewtifulteas yeah and then immediately text our more experienced ex gf-turned-bff who taught us gaydar, and describe the event to her in exhaustive detail so she can analyze the situation, translate girl body language, and explain in no uncertain terms what ACTUALLY happened in that moment. im pretty sure half of us are just total idi0ts
give her a brake...she just discovered that she's a low value woman who is gonna need to spend the rest of her life getting over straight-girl crushes :/...of course she's sad about it.
As someone who has watched a lot of Kid’s more introspective content, Brittany’s assessment that her self image is shaped by a lifetime of trauma is 1000% spot on. She needs so much therapy it’s not even funny.
haahahahahahahaha that is SO funny! Picture book example of the pot calling the kettle black (pun intended)
Agree completely
If she needs it all black people do.
...You sound like the incel forum guys that outright dismiss her experience of struggling to date, having people in your dms doesn't equal irl success, she's talked about being consistently been rejected by woman in person before she moved to the countryside, so her insecurity is based on her experience.
Altho i do agree, sometimes the way she talks about her looks blows me away, because she's clearly beautiful.
That may be why she's getting rejected 🤷🏻♀️
@annjepsen1621 who are u referring to /g
I barely know anything abt her but I felt the exact same disappointment when I realized I was a lesbian.
Very fair
this video felt like a gut punch to me because i relate to kidology sooo much as a fellow (extremely insecure) lesbian.
the phrase "nobody wants to be with an attractive person who complains about being ugly all the time. it's annoying." wow. i felt like i had just been stabbed when i heard that.
one of the main reasons things ended up not working out with my ex was her not being able to deal with my constant negativity and self-deprecation. :/
she said similar things to me all the time and i still let my self-hatred ruin the good thing i had managed to build with her.
trauma around abandonment / unworthiness is so hard to overcome and can wreck havoc in your life.
i wish i had seen this video earlier!!!
Nuance is important. She's a black woman which already makes it harder to date but she's also in a majority white place and has assimilated(from my own observations) so close to whiteness that even black people are more likely to reject her and I'm only saying this cause i have the exact same experience
But you're right she is femme, skinny and well spoken. Maybe less likely to be chosen compared to white women? Yes. Bottom of the food chain? Absolutely not😂
Also saying the statistics about black women not being able to date doesn't translate into real life AS A NON BLACK PERSON is crazy😭😭😭
I agree with this comment!
I want to say when I (Brittany) look at dating statistics, I'm looking at numbers that reflect dating games.
Those numbers aren't talking about love. They're talking about marriage or cohabitation that often leads to divorce or breakups.
We aren't teaching people to marry the RIGHT person. We are teaching people just to date anyone "good enough."
So when people say they're struggling in dating, they're saying they're playing the "good enough" game and they're still not happy.
If you know how truly rare it is to meet someone who is "exactly right" than complaining about it, it seems almost insane.
Finding the 'exactly right' person is about knowing you might never meet them, even though they definitely exist in 'large' numbers on the planet.
@@BrittanySimon Never thought of it in that sense. That makes a lot of sense.
I 100% agree with you. As a black woman, I have experienced this my entire life lol So I know exactly where Kid is coming from. And you could be the hottest black woman ever and you will still get overlooked simply because you are black. So here being Femme and skinny isn't really something to fall back on.
You can interpret the stats in that way all you want, but it still does not account for the very real racism that black women face while trying to date. And sometimes, as fucked up as it is, it's as simple as that.
As a Black woman who is also a lesbian, I really wish we could stop putting ourselves down and pitting ourselves against other women, especially white women. They don't have anything that we lack, and constantly dwelling on the fact that we are not the western standard of beauty(which we shouldn't even be trying to aspire to) isn't going to change anything, it will only make us feel more miserable and insecure, and give non-Black women cause to feel better than us, because we keep letting them by putting ourselves down. I know it's easier said than done, but still. There are plenty of queer women who are open to dating Black women. And even according to western beauty standards, she is still closer to them than I. She has lighter skin than me, does not wear glasses, and also wears her hair straight, rather than natural. The only part I disagree with is the femme part, as Black women are masculinized and seen as less feminine even when we do present as femme, due to racist society, so being femme isn't really a point in our favor(especially with femme invisibility being a thing). But tldr we need to start uplifting ourselves and stop focusing on statistics and views of others that tell us that we should feel lesser than for being "unattractive". Who cares what a bunch of numbers on dating apps say? I know I'm popping, no matter what!
@@pasteljoelle126 Do you think that Kidology would have more success in dating other black women?
Kidology has said in the past that she spends ALOT of time online. So there’s that disconnected from actual reality.
I have seen so many baby queer women enter the lesbian dating scene and get discouraged and wish that they were attracted to men because getting male attention IS easier. The dating dynamics in the WLW dating pool can be culture shock; when I still dated men I could download an app and have a date that night if I wanted to. With women, it takes a lot longer to find someone who wants to meet up and even longer than that for someone who wants to meet up more than once.
I think she needs to recognize that her appearance isn't the issue, it's the extreme difference in time investment from what she's used to
"a decade at the least" is a BIT TOO HEFTY of an estimate, my lord 😭
@@SapphvannahA decade?! I am confused as to why Kid thinks that it would take a decade to find someone.
I am married now but back when I was dating, I could find someone compatible mutually interested within 6-12 months.
10 years is crazy.
Dating women is hard!!!! My lesbian friend went from men to women and her dating life tanked!!!! She was constantly putting herself out there and frequently being rejected. I dated women in the past and I realized I hated chasing women or coy games. I have ADHD and my patience for waiting for a person to accept me is low. So I just let it go with female relationships and rather deal with the easiness of dating men.
That's why God didn't attend for this... women want to be pursued, and it's not in your nature to pursue...
There is your problem.
@@bibsp3556 I gave up the pursuit. Sure it may seem “pathetic” to you. However, I’m happily married, pregnant w/ 1st 👶🏽, and living my dream life. One door closes and another one opens!!! Love will find you, if you let it in naturally 🙏🏾
Well you've also go to consider how much smaller the dating pool becomes right off the bat. Especially if you're looking for either butch for fem lesbians specifically. It's like 5% are lesbian, then something like half are butch and half are fem (more fem iirc.) so it's like 2.5% of the pop you're looking at unless you convert a halfsies hetero grl.
God isn't real I need you to grow up @@Ariapeithes_
@bibsp3556 Life is short, do what makes you happy and rewards you for effort, not what takes more effort for marginal reward.
As a Black lesbian, I understand where she's coming from, as Black women do have it harder in the dating sphere. But at the same time, putting yourself down compared to other races isn't going to help. Us Black women already have it hard enough with other groups seeing as less attractive, feminine, and desirable, we need not add to it by confirming their beliefs about us by drowning in pessimism and insecurity. The only part I disagreed with you on is femmes finding it easier to date, as 1) femme invisibility is a thing and many of us get read as straight even by other queer folks, and femme4femmes have their own struggles in the dating world, and 2) Black femmes are masculinized and seen as less feminine than white femmes, so even the femmes who are open to dating other femmes may pass over a Black femme either because of a racist lack of attraction or because they don't see us as femme even though we are. But you are right that if you want a partner, you need to develop the confidence to tell yourself that you are beautiful and worthy of love, although of course it's easier said than done, so I agree with you that she needs to go to therapy and likely has some unresolved trauma that she needs to unpack. I can't speak for her, but I do hope she finds the support and love she needs and deserves. 🥰
Wow people totally invalidated her feelings , guess what lesbians can also have racial prejudice- but everyone runs to ohhh it’s her MH- England has a pretty racist history.
The real problem is that many people don't have any friends, so without a romantic partner they basically don't have much human connection
as a bisexual Indian woman in the UK that presents as kinda femme but also masc I’m so confused! I’ve had some odd experiences in the queer community but I’ve also had some great experiences! Kidology needs to get themselves to a city in the UK ASAP! She needs to expand her bubble ‘cause I’m shook…(and I know my bubble of queers would be shook too).
She hated London. I despise it too. But hopefully she can date in a city and bring them to a quieter place.
Black women do have a harder time on dating apps but "Z" (idk this influencer) is also thin, cis, and soft femme presenting. She does need to move to Atlanta though lol--its much harder dating in majority white cities or where your ethnicity is not the majority.
also if Z wants to date women and experience them (forget a relationship atm) she should get on Feeld! A decade is INSANE. Even 10 weeks is insane.
Don’t know if you will see this Brittany but you reacting to this is something I needed to see. I have often felt the same way as Kid and I can sympathize with a lot of her fears around dating as a Black woman but this video and the story you told about your brother kind of woke me up and made me realize I need to change my mentality around this. Sending love to both you and Kid. I hope she gets or is getting the help she deserves.
Thank you for sharing!! I really hoped this commentary would help people. So I'm glad it sparked something within you
Girl what? How does she not know she gorgeous?
Because (from my limited experience watching her through the lens of Brittany’s “Orbit”) she’s a self-hating woman, a self hating black person, so it’s so surprise she’s a self hating lesbian too. Wishing her the best though
She’s so incel brained dude 😂
Maybe it's cause she surrounds herself with whiteness
It's a normal reaction for queer woc most of us are seen as undesirable especially the darker you get
I love black women!! ❤I'm white btw
well she is black and from europe. european beauty standards are slightly different and people are more likely prefer their race.
She is from South Africa. She was raised by a racist white South African woman.
She moved to the UK in her teen or 20’s
Her face and voice are experienced as luxury
I was watching her video and thought, “I need to hear what Britt said about this,” because the way she sees herself was tripping me out. I so hope she works through her trauma. She has so many lovely qualities, but I don’t think she’s quite ready to draw in the type of person she wants. She’s young though, and very intelligent. I suspect she won’t stay in this mindset forever.
Has she said anything about being neurodivergent? It's wild to me how many videos she has about interpersonal relationships and how she could be struggling because she black or a woman or not attractive enough but usually doesn't seem like she's thought it could be something else like something that's about her personality specifically that is off putting to people.
Some of her takes could be interpreted as conservative or at least non-woke. Much of the LGBT "community" is woke or at least very left leaning.
Her takes are nuanced, moderate and her own. Wich is sign of intellogence. In that position you are attacked by both the left and the right because you do not comform to their tribe. I dont like people who rubberstamp the opinions of a 'tribe'. She certainly is not conservative but she could be in the eyes of the far left.
I think the woke/far left imago of LGBT is a stereotype. The majority of LGBT is far left/ woke that I believe but there are enough exceptions to it for her to date. And woke is not a monolith.
@@thijsjongthis copy pasted comment sounds a bit victimhoodish
@@thijsjong she is literally in desparate need of therapy and it is clear her insecurities and low self esteem color her opinions on society and politics
She has FASD so yeah
@@thijsjong ‘a sign of intellogence’??
Ask your husband what the Balkan version of "can't have your cake and eat it too" is. It's hilarious. Very on brand.
Yikes, you thought you ate
th-cam.com/video/0ALRRgs4vss/w-d-xo.html
I wish her the best. She has so much going for her, but I do feel like her conservative tilt is the restricting factor. It's much harder to find LGBTQ people who are acknowledged conservatives.
Some of her takes could be interpreted as conservative or at least non-woke. Much of the LGBT "community" is woke or at least very left leaning.
Her takes are nuanced, moderate and her own. Wich is sign of intellogence. In that position you are attacked by both the left and the right because you do not comform to their tribe. I dont like people who rubberstamp the opinions of a 'tribe'. She certainly is not conservative but she could be in the eyes of the far left.
I think the woke/far left imago of LGBT is a stereotype. The majority of LGBT is far left/ woke that I believe but there are enough exceptions to it for her to date.
Imagine dating someone with diffetent opinions then you
Dating someone who has different opinions than you is fine. Dating someone with different politics than you is a different thing. Politics is often about values. Dating someone who thinks differently is less likely to work out long term.
@@thijsjong I'm not saying you shouldn't date someone with different opinions. But a lot of people don't because we live in a time when people are very reactive.
@@BrittanySimon Agreed. If the root of the differing opinions still have the same underlying values behind them, it can be a successful partnering. A lot of people these days are very reactive to ideas that differ from their own because a decent amount of people don't separate opinions from politics.
She feels centrist to me, I do not think she comes across as being right-wing
Maybe the women type she’s into are not into her? I’m not sure. But I have heard this kind of retoriche from her before. Definitely trauma. Bless her on her journey through.
It’s important to remember even though we form our reality, the children who were abused have not been allowed to form their reality for like the first two decades of their lives. So I think everyone should give space and grace to the abused as they hopefully sort it out and take back their power of forming their own reality. It’s basically impossible to not be stuck in a trauma bubble when all you have known was being abused by sociopaths who did in fact have control over your life because you were a child. This lack of control and ritualistic abuse also shapes how you see the world, until you heal and rewire your brain.
i felt so relieved and seen when she posted that video. there is not a single day in my life where i don't feel unhappy about being lesbian. it's not this magical, pure lovey thing that liberates me from men. it's incredibly isolating and the dating pool is absolutely abysmal. i still date men i don't find attractive because it's just less of a nuisance.
Many womans are bisexuals
I really appreciate this conversation! im almost 33 & I’ve never been is a serious long term relationship. but ive never really felt lonely because of it. if it happens it happens it’s not something im worried about. when trying to explain that to people they will straight up call me a liar. it’s so confusing to me lol.
slayyy Brittany now I feel like I can explain myself a better haha
best ive come up with: “dating is a lot of emotional labor I am not interested in doing” lol
Kidology is gorgeous and so smart. ive had a crush on her for years, was overjoyed to hear she came out as wlw and i would date her in a minute. A second. A millisecond.
I had a crush on her too
Z is neurodivergent. She mentioned having FASD (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Disorder) in a video.
Edit: During Z's talk with Brittany, she mentioned that being in a relationship gave her a sense of self worth and confidence. It seems like she doesn't have that innately, which is codependent.
i don't think masculine lesbians are somehow at the bottom of the dating pool, at least when ur dating other women. every masculine lesbian i know has had it good when it came to dating. i agree with u overall tho
black lesbians are some of the "bottom of the food chain" in the dating sphere bc a lot of black cultures are very christian and conservative and black lesbians are rarer, and I do think people generally tend to date those who look similar to them which can include race/culture. my black gay friend expresses similar grieviances and has said that he wishes he were a straight guy who was the type that could settle in a relationship before (ofc it's not great to say but he's on his own journey)
(I'm not saying she's lacking a relationship with herself and is overly pessimistic, but just that there's likely an element of truth of her finding difficulties in dating) (I'm also from the UK)
I think she now feels more lonely, because now she actually wants to connect deeply with a woman, and she sees it as being very difficult to find right now. Of course it is also pessimism. And she is lacking a connection, that she will only find after she connects with herself.
That explains the loneliness.. she thinks "if I had a girl that loved me then I could love myself" .. but actually, the self love is what is lacking :)
It's like she is projecting the lacking outworldly, but it can only be conquered inwordly. Hope she gets that realisation :)
So many times we think a relationship is going to save us
Love whoever made the nun comment at the end 😂 Literally throughout this video I kept thinking she needs a gay girl who was raised Catholic!! Someone with a conservative foundation who broke free from their bubble 🫧
I can personally relate to almost everything Z said in this video. I also have complex BPD… could be something for her to think about. Therapy and exercise are saviours when suffering in this bubble!
I think there’s some kind of misunderstanding or miscommunication going on here because I saw *part of* Kidology’s video and my understanding was that she was trying to express the feeling that the experiences of dating as a black woman were difficult enough when she was dating men, but seemed even more daunting when dating women because she was suddenly working with a much smaller amount of options with just as much if not more racism. I don’t know about the UK but I know that when it comes to American media, when a queer woman gets noticed by the queer community, she is usually white, creating alternative music, or acting in shows and movies that are well liked by the LGBT community. This could easily give somebody, especially if they’re already emotionally insecure, the impression that everyday black queer women are simply seen as the least desirable demographic in society and if we’re being honest with ourselves, it’s because they are seen that way. Decades of discrimination and internalized racism have given black people, - especially black women in society this preconceived notion that they often can’t pinpoint the origin of that they are unattractive or undesirable regardless of how good they may actually look.
You're basing the loneliness dismissal on your own experience. Many people are lonely without romantic partners. Maybe their self worth is tied to partners due to trauma, but we are human beings who live in communities. And maybe a fully complete human being wouldn't have the same feelings. But in that case many people are not complete human beings, however you define it. It doesn't mean that it's good, it's just the way it is. And their feelings still exist, and won't go away because someone on the internet says it's not healthy.
When telling Kid to go to therapy, you're exhibiting some of the same bias- because in the same way finding a life partner is maybe impossible, so is finding the right therapist. Sure, she might be basing low self esteem on trauma, but that either requires the right partner to look past that, or a one in a million therapist who would, I don't even know what. No amount of introspective therapy is going to make an introspective person not have low self esteem because "oh, I now realize I have abandonment issues because of my adopted family, I didn't realize, thanks."
I think the points are good, she definitely has low self image, and needs to branch out into her viewership, however improper it may seem in the current cancel culture, it would likely bring her loads of prospects. But I do think the comments about others having these conversations with their therapists were a bit harsh, and maybe even shaming, many of us feel the same and people like kid bring these issues to light in a way that's beneficial. Especially with her recent speed dating video.
the whole point is introspection in order to realise your actual problems, so that you can figure out a way to work with them and most importantly, heal and move on from them
@@MusiicRoolz Okay, Kid's actual problems are abandonment. What's next?
@@trianglesandsquares420 I mean if I'm explaining it to you it's kind of useless but it's based on personal traumatic events within that slapped-on label, so she'd have to go back to when she felt unseen or was traumatised and give herself the love patience and empathy that was lacking in that moment
@@MusiicRoolz She mentioned in some video that she does feel sympathy for her younger self. I don't think it was just one moment though, it was the entire childhood and adolescence, with many moments thrown in. It doesn't help with the problems.
But maybe you're suggesting a specific therapy technique, that might be interesting to try- like reenacting all the moments? It sounds interesting. Not sure all therapists do that, maybe it's just yours, but it might be a cool self help thing to try.
I'm a white lesbian and i've had a shitty time in dating apps
it concerns me from the beginning because she quit this med against the doctors assessment. She said it quickly and worded it as "it wasnt the doctors choice". Its good she reduced it over time instead of cold turkey at least. having a lot of experience as a patient she should either trust her doctor or a second opinion. Its great that she is feeling again, and likely then the right choice was to eliminate that med. Its just much safer with a doctor.
I had a similar situation. I stopped meds because the side effects were making it very difficult to function.
I told my doctor about it and she basically said to deal with it. I ended up stopping the meds and have been okay with just therapy.
Where do we go instead of reddit? Twitter, im actually open to suggestions...
Great question!!! I'll talk about this on Mondays stream!!
Use reddit, use Facebook, use Twitter, use real life interactions, use everything to gather information.
Information is all around us and using only one source seems like a self-inflicted blinder.
Everyone has a perspective. Some are right and wrong, but all are real enough that they can teach us something.
Reddit attracts specific kinds of people. Even on Reddit itself, there are different sides to it. Recognize which bubble you're in and jump into another one and gather info.
If you watch fox News, understand they lean right. If you watch CNN, they lean left.
TH-cam attracts more of the general public and twitch tends to be more chronically online people.
Every bubble is just an ecosystem to gather information and enjoy life in different ways.
Ps. Each bubble has its toxic and healthy sides. Try to figure out which one you're interacting with.
As a bisexual this video is fascinating and confusing.😂
Girl you dont know how much I needed to hear this, I felt aunty Brittany was waking ME up with a big dose of reaLITY haha❤❤❤❤
Lets goooo!!! 💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙
I was so excited to see the thumbnail. When I heard her say she is at the bottom of the attractiveness scale I was so shocked.
You know what, Brittany just freaking gets it
I love her so much and i think shes cute to so im confused , ill always support her as my sisster.... but the self flagelation is painful to watch & over kill... i used to be like this . .. i have faith her content will change tho. No one is perfect. Ive deleted many negative videos in my past.. im also queer
Off topic but I was watching this while I gave myself my first testosterone shot
Congrats bro ❤
Hell yeah man
Congratulations 🎉
Congrats
Congrats my guy!!!!! 🏳⚧💪🏿
Aaah kidology you are great and worthy of being with, even when you are in trauma!!! But of course healing is better for her and would probably lead to more real long-term relationships
The Habit of a Broken 💔...they want to smother it with Kindness...they want to Tear it all Apart!!
I agree it's not reasonable to be unhappy without partner. I've never needed a partner, I've just wanted to be seen. Heartbreak is awful, sure, but when you heal from that nothing changes and you just live your life out how you want to, partner or not. Feeling like you have to have a partner and you can't build your life without one is WILD to me.
Because you love her, that's why you're being so honest about it.
For sure it is trauma, been there, still recovering
I feel the way she does and I'm straight. I also don't know what the hell I want in a relationship or if I even want one so when I put myself on shitty dating apps it's out if boredom and is so depressing anf not fair to me or anyone who's serious about getting in a relationship. Then if I were to use it just to hook up....I'd feel like garbage.
24:58 this sounds like trauma
This was a very helpful video. Thank you!
Damn how do i send this to my incel ex bff who i had to friendzone 😅
Love when you sing to us ❤😂
Brittany gets it
Hiii Brittany
I've been so busy recently that I haven't had time to watch your streams - I forgot how much I love it when you disagree with your audience, lmao. Auntie Brittany is best Brittany
there are so many gays in the country/rural areas.
She had FAS
Your perspective is on point
These men in the comments. She's a 10/10
I'm not into redheads at all, but Brittany looks extra cute on this one.
There’s a lot of black women getting mad about this video, but subjectively she’s right. Ok Kidology is dark skin and I’m sure has experienced a lot of trauma in life from systemic racism, straight MEN, and STRAIGHT women. That has nothing to do with the lesbian community. She’s pretty, thin, and femme. Most lesbians would not give a shit about something like skin tone. I know I don’t. This video is not denying any sort of racism. It’s calling out that kidology is factually wrong about being undesirable in the lesbian community. Two separate topics.