Bachelorette - (Greg & Katie #3) - Therapist Reaction
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ส.ค. 2021
- Dr. Kirk Honda, couples therapist, reacts to Greg and Katie on The Bachelorette. Includes clips from The Bachelorette, season 17.
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Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.
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"It's almost like the show is ruining their relationship" bachelor in a nutshell lmao
Or 'expose' it, that happens a lot too.
@@amany8805 yes also very true!
Lol I had the same thought
@@ania5038 that doesn't justify the way he treated her after that.. This franchise had past examples of people who wanted different things and could discuss it without throwing accusations although I 100 percent believe she wanted to pick him and was just hinting that to him.
@@ania5038 Honestly I think Katie is just kinda awkward and didn’t pick up his cues right in that moment, but I do think she loved him. If he really wanted to be with her, he should’ve been able to withstand one communication hiccup. Imagine if they had kids together? Worse ruptures happen all the time
The fact that he won't listen to anything she says, doesn't let her finish a sentence, sees her cry and looks away annoyed, has nothing but accusations, she really doesn't deserve to be treated like that simply for not saying "I love you" right away.
Nail on the head. A lot of us have trauma and triggers, but we don't treat people like he treats her.
He has abandonment issues. Typical love bombing followed by a sudden irrational turn at the slightest hint of rejection. She should be glad she saw this side now
@@jakestroll6518 I have very similar issues. Although it’s not good, we have valid reasons to feel like this. We just have to learn how to deal with it so we don’t effect others in a negative way.
But she never said it. Maybe he was rude, but I think he resented her for having so much more power than he did. For not being able to be transparent. It wasn't necessarily a personal insult against her, he just couldn't take it anymore. Then I think his resentment grew when she FINALLY told him her no-L-word rule, WAY too late, and didn't break it for him in order to save their relationship.
@@laurie_guilbeau I honestly just think he just wasn’t her person. She then sent Justin home and than confessed her love to Blake. She wasn’t going to say it if it wasn’t to the right person. And Greg just knew at that time it wasn’t him. Just how it works.
The show portrayed the, "Oh I haven't been happy until I met you," as romantic, but it's such a red flag!!! The fact that he's putting all of his happiness onto his partner is unhealthy, and I'm so tired of the media trying to make us think that this is what love should be. Like Dr. Honda said, Greg was putting all his eggs in one basket. He kept saying she was the source of his happiness. But when she didn't reciprocate in the way he wanted, he realized there was a chance that his sole source of happiness would disappear.
@Lee Yes, things that are red flags are often portrayed as romantic. Colton’s fence jumping saga was met by other contestants with “I want someone to jump a fence for me”. When all that was, was a temper tantrum thrown by a grown man. He didn’t get what he wanted, so he acted dramatic and jumped a fence. Greg had multiple red flags. “You filled the hole in my heart” is another one of his statements that shows he needs to process his loss and work on his own mental state first, before he gets into a relationship. “I haven’t talked to anyone about my grief except to you” is also an unhealthy statement. He uses these statements as a declaration of his love. Luke P. was another big red flag who disguised his controlling nature behind bible verses.
@@stellarusso6226 Amen.
I agree with you I'm also glad he recognized that on the Viall files podcast
What drives me nuts is that they have the overnight dates next week where they would have time together off camera. He could have asked her this question then and she could have answered honestly without risking her obligations to the production of the show. Why did he insist on forcing her to choose him *right now*?
Because if she knows it’s him then why have sex with Justin and Blake next week? She is his girlfriend so it’s probably disheartening knowing that’s what she’s going to do. He’s needed validation this whole season so I think he just wanted to leave with her.
What drives me nuts is that, at no point did she try to give him a wink-wink nudge-nudge to just wait a week so we can talk in private and work it all out. She never even took a quarter-step towards him to validate any of his feelings that he spilled that night. She made it about herself instantly. Which, to be clear, is TRUE that she was ALSO under a lot of pressure and duress. It's almost like 2 people can both be under a lot of pressure when the eyes of the nation are upon them and one or the other isn't an evil manipulator abuser, huh! Imagine that! Nuance and complicated context!?
To me, more than literally ANYTHING else, this prove they are fundamentally incompatible and barely even exist on the same plane of reality. Just like how me and my wife can't believe how people are only seeing a monster in Greg when he's clearly a hurt person in a bad situation (the show as a concept) and Katie is simply NOT the kind of person he thought she was. Maybe Her and Blake will be a great emotionally blunted couple together after all.
@@vazzaroth are you watching the same show? Katie literally told Greg that she PROMISES to pick him and to just trust her. It was extremely obvious that she was telling him she was planning on picking him but he only got more angry. She didn’t make it about herself at all she apologized immediately and even got on her hands and knees begging him to stay.
@@vazzaroth Did you not watch the last episode or Psychology in Seattle's video? Katie literally said, "We've made it this far for a reason... at the end of it, it's going to be worth it. You know how I feel about you, right?" "How do you think I feel going through it, having to be so committed to you and then have to meet someone else's family?" And then when he said he can't be there in the end if he doesn't think it's them two, she said, "I promise" before Greg interrupted her to spew doubts AGAIN.
Her validations were falling on Greg's deaf ears, and apparently yours too. It's clear as day that she had chosen him and was validating him. She gave him a "wink-wink nudge-nudge to just wait a week" through her words. You're saying that people are calling Greg an evil, manipulative abuser, but you're essentially calling Katie a self-centered, thoughtless person. You're talking about "Nuance and complicated context!?" but you're completely biased and only seeing one perspective. Talk about hypocrisy.
So no one is going to mention how she basically said she was going to pick Michael A. last time. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who tells me I’m so into you meanwhile telling the same story to someone else and having a tongue down their throat is a mixed signal to me. I love how the football player told her “no” to staying because if someone wants me I want to be their first choice. She seemed so in love with everyone and was telling everyone the same exact thing. They all thought they were the one. If Greg was the one from the jump then why was Blake even allowed to be on the show. She chose that. The show was good without Blake. It had enough drama without him. I would’ve left too.
I hope Katie gets to see this. I actually hope Greg gets to see this too. It’s such a balanced review of what happened while also highlighting that in the circumstances of the show, there are things that Greg could have done better. There’s a lot for us to learn from here
I got here mad quick
Hahaha me too
The fact that he kept interrupting her to basically go “no, my feelings, my thoughts, what I want” was just so annoying and exhausting. I feel like we never got to fully hear what she thought and felt about everything.
Did you forget the part where Katie used the exact same excuse right after he tried to open up to her more than he ever has before in his entire life?
@@vazzaroth I’m not sure what excuse you mean?
Like when I'm confused about how another person is feeling towards me, I ask them to explain. He could've just done that? He didn't ask her one question or try to understand her perspective whatsoever.
Six years ago, Ben Higgins, the Bachelor, individually told his top 2 he loved them. That was really rough of his runner up (Jojo) and it didn't last with his final rose "winner". Ben is now experiencing a mental break down due to his time in Bachelor Nation. That's the first time it happened. Jojo was chosen as the Bachelorette and she did the same thing. I think, Katie, as a fan of the show, decided she didn't want to do that during her season.
Greg applied to be on the show in 2019. He had a chance to be on Hannah Brown's season but didn't get chosen. He was going to be on Clare's season but didn't come back after the COVID changes. So, he should have at least watched the last 2 season since he was trying to be on the show.
Katie isn’t even the first to not tell someone they love them till the end either! You’re damned if you tell more than one you love them and you’re damned if you tell no one till the end.
@@rainstorm571 Correct, the majority of leads choose not to say "I love you" until the end
Dr. Honda always out here giving everyone ALL the grace and the benefit of the doubt. I could never. Love Dr. H and his content so much
While a lot of leads choose not to say “I love you,” there are some common phrases in the bachelor/bachelorette culture that they do say, that I don’t think she is saying. Such as “I’m falling for you,” and “I can really see myself with you,” and others variations of those phrases. Also, I think it’s common to exchange love letters that are kept secret from the producers/public. I’m not defending him, I’m just saying that there are ways people have gotten around this situation before.
@@alexmarie9131 yeah but she did tell him she was calling in love with him.
All this dude had to do was 1. Recognize he was on TV and 2. Have a fun date with the person he loves.
Amen
HE HAD ONE JOB!
It looks to me like perhaps he thought he was auditioning for a soap opera. 🤔
@@sarahserenity3872 😂
So what, he could "win" the prize of living the rest of his life with an emotionally stunted woman who doesn't understand his pain? Everyone who uses "IT'S A SHOW!" as an excuse seems to just assume that the "prize" is always going to be worth it. Greg came to realization that Katie was still playing a game with him and he had made the tragic mistake of thinking she was an authentic person.
IMO, he pulled the emergency exit parachute as soon as he possibly could and there's something very respectful about that, even if he did word things (while in a negative emotion peak of his entire life) a little more harshly than fake TV relationship "gamers" are used to.
I appreciate your well-rounded take on this situation Dr. Honda. It was when Greg started kind of whispering where I realized that this is so much more than just Katie listening instead of speaking, going way back to maybe his childhood or something. It's scary when vulnerable people are televised because it ramps up emotions and issues that I think shouldn't be dealt with in front of millions of eyeballs, but I suppose that's reality television in a nutshell. Therapy is crucial
He was in Therapy for the loss of his father to cancer when his therapist died of late-stage, late diagnosed cancer before the show. But you know... Greg is just some big scary abusive monster as the fans all say.
Yes on the part 1 episode's commentary the therapist said when Greg was pouring his emotion out to Katie "stop taping, he is not in a healthy place".;
I dated someone who acted like Greg. Even though I loved him and assured him about that all the time, he would always find "things" to fight about. I ended up breaking up with him because I couldn't stand all the accusations and fighting. It's exhausting.
100%. I was married to someone like this - he would have these distorted versions of what I thought, etc. that were so inaccurate. What I know for sure is that it doesn’t matter what she says. She could probably profess her love at this point and he would still feel the same way. He’s just so stuck in his thinking.
@@katebain2496 ya, I was married to someone like this too. Making up all these assumptions in his own head. It was hell. Glad to be free.
Yep, nothing she does will be good enough to fill his insecurity. He's trying to control her response via passive aggression, accusations, going to extremes about what he "gave" or she "betrayed," leveraging his grief and putting family disappointment on her shoulders.
I just went through this!!!! A month ago he ended things for an absurd reason. He was always upset with me about these small details but they meant HUGE things. I had a hard time even following his logic sometimes. And the anger and intensity I felt from him scared me. I cannot believe how validating this video is along with hearing other ppl's experiences!!!! Like I didn't lose something extremely special, I dodge a very big bullet. Just because a man is "romantic" doesn't mean they will be kind and generous and loving.
@@hollyblair5778 I so resonate with what you said. The intensity of his drama scared me too. It was so confusing to me because he was so 'romantic'. And yes this video is very much validating. Thank God for Dr. Kirk.
Dr. Honda saying "But this isn't real life ... this is the Bachelorette!!!!!" Got me 🤣🤣🤣
Dr Honda: “Well, I don’t know if I want to deal with this.” 😂💀
But if he just plays the game, he wins the prize. So he is being completely irrational. He’s too blinded by his wound to see that though, or to hear her, or take a beat and just ride it out.
Have you considered that Greg stopped care about some fabricated, shallow "game" and thought he had found the love of his life, tho?
@@vazzaroth Doesn't change the parameters of the situation he put himself in. It's like getting on a rollercoaster and asking to get off after it's already started. Yeah, it sucks. Totally sucks. But you gotta ride it out.
@@LeandroVelez7 I agree, and he also needs to show respect to Katie and her obligations. Just bc he's sick of it doesn't mean that she's comfortable walking off and violating her contract or whatever. Beyond all the psychological issues I also find it a bit sexist and disrespectful towards Katie and her responsibilities and commitments.
Well put!
Alternate title: how to completely self-destruct your relationship and scare off all potential future partners on national TV
@Megan Napier You know that movie “How to lose a guy in ten days”……this is “How to lose a woman in ten weeks”.
With one simple line: "I just love looking at you", lol.
@@vazzaroth I think she ment the guy!
I feel as though he has a lot of emotional trauma left by his father that he hasn't resolved and is hoping that an attachment with Katie will fill the void. He makes so many references about him, and that loss, in relation to Katie and their relationship. E.g., "haven't played basketball with anyone since he passed". The mere possibility that he may not be the "one" provokes his anxiety so terribly that he is simply looking for any reason to escape it. However, he can't take ownership of that feeling so he makes it sound as though SHE is the one that is pulling back and away from him.
This is (FINALLY) the most reasonable take on this page and on most pages I've seen discussing this. Thank you, JFC these wolves just want to tear people apart. The amount of assuming everyone is doing is truly powered by some kind of previously undiscovered infinite energy source. (Trauma projection, I guess?)
IMO it's understandable he acts the way he does. Not necessarily excusable, which is (shocker!) DIFFERENT than understandable. 0 empathy being demonstrated from anyone, even Kirk here, which is really concerning for a psychologist.
@@vazzaroth The problem is the dare I say pleasure, he is getting from hurting her here. Katie lost her father, and recently was told the man who died who she thought was her bio dad wasn’t and now bio dad wants to meet her, plus she’s gone through a sexual assault. I mean she’s got pain too. I’ve got it (don’t even get me started) but I’ve never used it to hurt someone else. I’ve never wanted to use love as a weapon. And this was so hard for me to watch because I dated 2 men who would just turn on a dime and act just like Greg does here. No amount of love or reassurance cures it. I don’t think Greg is a bad person and I know he says he sees it now, but it MAY be a disorder. I mean it’s a possibility. What your mostly seeing is people who have lived through this and it brings them right back to their experience. Proper who walked on eggshells for years. Because what Katie said in that clip was edited, one second his eyes are crying, red, she’s wiping her tears and his, then her arm gets cut off in editing, and his eyes are dry, no redness/puffiness. Something else happened and their contracts will keep them silent. I’m guessing she didn’t say I love you back but they needed to make her look bad because then people take sides and fight. The show cares nothing about any of these people. They can cut and paste any story, your own words even.
The three of you are having a really good discussion on here. Kudos to y’all. We are all learning from these painful events. Both Greg and Katie deserve love and healing.
I don't know if agree with Dr. Honda that Greg was not trying to manipulate her. I think he's just so used to doing it that he didn't even realize he was doing it. But the way he was tormenting her for not saying what he wanted to hear is really disgusting. If he doesn't want to date her anymore, he should just up and leave. Don't spend hours (according to reports this confrontation lasted for hours) tormenting her until she cries. It's such an awful thing to do to someone you claim you love.
Yep exactly fuck Greg. He won’t be able to have a relationship until he works on his issues and resolve what trauma he has experienced. He needs a therapist not a partner
He literally said he's never been like that with any ever before. So are you just choosing to not believe him, then? Yet Katie gets to say anything she wants and it's automatic truth? I truly do not understand this attitude I'm seeing virtually universally.
You’d have to ask his ex girlfriend to know if he’s acted this way before. Greg might not be aware of how he comes across. It seems he’s not aware here.
@@arelycruz9738 his ex girlfriends have posted on social media that he is a manipulator.
The bachelor/bachelorette is an insane situation to be in, that’s why it’s on TV. Katie probably doesn’t know what she is/isn’t allowed to say. She’s probably under immense pressure from producers to see the show all the way through. I bet she even got in trouble for the “he will get a rose this week” comment too, so she was afraid to say anything else (hence the awkward silence when he poured his soul to her).
Yeah i see both sides, she has to play her role and is holding back or surface level feelings. He has spent too much time alone and saw the hesitancy. But said he's done too quick
Right, agree 100%. That's exactly half the story. So why does everyone(else, not OP here) think that THIS^ = good and righteous yet Greg dealing with the death of his father (Messily, obviously!) and beginning to attempt to rebuild = evil?
I think at this point it was too soon for her to know if it was Greg or Blake, but she was leaning toward Greg up until then. I think Blake is the reason she didn't just cave and break her personal rule.
This guy behaves like a character from Twilight.
Seems romantic on twilight but creepy in real life lol
lol so true. I hope pop culture stops selling creepy as romantic
Greg as edward and Blake the wolf man... honestly I see it now
@@effiekoliopoulos979 Wolf guy is named Jacob 😂
@@lavinder11 lmao I drew a blank even though I read the books and saw the movies.... this show got me too stressed out to think straight
It was so soothing at 07:59 to hear Dr. Honda saying such calming things ("take a few deep breaths.. relax.. people love you"). I need a recording of that audio to play to myself when I'm distressed!
I'm loving this series, especially as I prep for the season finale tonight! I'm really curious to see your analysis for the next part of Katie and Greg's journey.
Me too! ❤️
Maybe he HAS seen the show and has romaticized the idea of a Bachelorette ruining a season for him.
😂😂
He applied multiple times and was originally cast for the season before. There is NO way he has not seen the show.
@@neveb.2309 Claire opened the door for him to try and do the same🤷🏻♀️
I know a guy like him. And they, just like darcy does, will keep up a New burning hoop for you to jump through until you fail.
Exactly!
So Greg is going to have his dad die every few months or what?
@@vazzaroth No. The love he receives will never be enough, he will always find issues with his partner, and instead of being kind and honest about his own feelings, he will blame it all on everyone else but him. If you ever meet someone like him you will know what we're all seeing. Or maybe you are someone like him and refuse to look at your own insecurities because blaming other people is easier.
This is so sad. I feel so sorry for Katie, she seemed truly heartbroken.
Better she find out now though. Not like Allie years ago. Her pick turned out physically abusive. I wish them both the best, but he needs help to work though his stuff.
@@kaileim970 Oh I suspected something really bad happened there as I followed the relationship he had after and got those vibes. Did she admit that in an interview or something? I’d love to know everything she said. I remember at first they seemed so in love but it was just a gut feeling I had.
So Greg doesn't get to have a heart? There suddenly has to be a winner and a loser in love?
@@kaileim970 oh I didn't know that's why they broke up - Allie and Roberto. That's sad.
Greg saying "this is real life" while he is surrounded by cameras is just ridiculous..
Can he count how many cameras around him!!
right??
Why? He's not an actor. It IS real for Greg. That's his ENTIRE point that he has directly verbalized...?
@@vazzaroth well at this point no one knew about his acting career including Katie.. He applied for the show for 3 seasons so he is very aware of show rules and he can see the cameras around him and can easily rationalelize Katie's position.
When Greg said
“This is real life”, he wasn’t meaning the show, he was meaning forget the show and just be real with me because it is our real lives and I need to know if you are going to choose me.
@@delwynjenkins3581 there’s nothing real life about the bachelor franchise cult
Being super in love with someone and not listening to anything they have to say is a bit ... Iffy?
It’s not that simple. He was just so insulted by robot-face after he poured his heart out.
In fact his feelings were too strong! Blake went with the flow of the show because he thinks Katy is pretty and he wanted to be on tv.
That being said, Greg was a little hard on Katy and I found that just waking away from the park bench was bizarre!! Dude should have picked up that Katy ran after him and got on her knees for him. At that point I lost my empathy for Greg.
@@intellivisionmaster7999 how can you watch dr kirk and make generalizations like that about women lol
@@thebigbiwolf6048 I was just responding to the comment that said “Greg must not have loved her”.
@@intellivisionmaster7999 oh yes because Blake acted in a mature way he doesn't love Katie. What are you 12? This isn't how relationships in the adult world work. By the way are you saying he wants to be on TV because he's been on two seasons. If that's the case Greg was signed up for Claire season as well. Oh and Bekah Ks oh and Hannah Brown's. It's weird to say that the actor who went to acting school for 2 years wasn't the one that just wanted to be on TV. 🤔
@@chelseygarrett4221 Greg was invested. Blake wasn’t. Besides, he was just told that Greg left. If anything, he would be containing his excitement! There was nothing to “act mature” about.
I’m just guessing but I’m assuming this does not work out with Blake. He’s not invested in her… and she doesn’t know the first thing about him; except that she likes his “best-behaviour” on tv.
Fine! You win! I wish them the best. I hope it works out. I just don’t see a great foundation for them as a couple.
This was so awful to watch. I get where they both are coming from, but his complete refusal to accept anything other than a fairy tale immediate elopement left me speechless (and I honestly don’t know if he would’ve even accepted that). He never let her finish a thought, he didn’t want to hear her out, her apologies and explanations were shut down, and he seemed DISGUSTED with her! I’m just not convinced he even knew what he wanted from her at that point, but She had far more grace than I could’ve mustered up, esp at that age…it was impressive. I’m also betting he hasn’t/doesn’t actually leave and that she’s the one who bails on everything tonight.
He doesn't need an engagement, he needs therapy. I wish him well and success working through it.
@Kitty Kelly you might wanna Google the generational demographics because even the youngest gen x-ers are over 40
It was hard to watch. He said he wanted to find out what went wrong, but once they started talking it seemed like he just wanted to express his anger at her. He either didn't have the desire or the skills to find out where she was coming from.
I’m so glad Katie saw it early. I could see it in her eyes, her watching the man she thought he was melting away.
If she loved him, and actually, she wouodt see and sleep with the other dudes in home town. That’s where I feel Greg is coming from. I know it’s the show but also as a human, it sucks to see other dudes kissing a girl.
Dr. H, I truly think you might enjoy the Bachelorette. Not so much the other shows in the franchise, but this one tends to have some true romantics, from time to time. Skip the first ~6 episodes of the season; wait till the crowd has thinned out and real feelings are developing. Seasons you might enjoy:
1. Tayshia (who took over last season after Clare blew up the show)
2. Rachel Lindsay
3. Trista (the very first season of the show)
Thanks for doing these reaction videos. I think your observations are spot on so far! I appreciate your balanced approach (as always) ❤️
I don’t watch this show (any gender), but I’ve learned so much from these reaction videos. Thanks Dr. Honda!
The way he's TELLING her, not asking "you did NOT listen" "That IS how you're thinking, that's what's going on in YOUR mind" with that semi-berating tone....just irks me. I don't think he can know that, at all, and ironically he wasn't listening to her
Yes, often we accuse others with thing we're actually doing 😁
Yeah it was upsetting to hear him tell her what she is thinking in her OWN MIND, I think that was the moment I wouldn't have been able to come back from if I was in Katies shoes.
💯 🙌 I’ve experienced this before, to the extent it’s a dealbreaker for me going forward. SO frustrating! 🤯
But somehow everyone assuming that Greg wants her to say "STOP THE SHOW, I LOVE GREG" is definitely true and is for sure not wild speculation, when Greg has been asking for a variety of validations that aren't that?
The way that people just seem to NEED a villain and a hero is truly, truly disturbing for society. Damn.
(OP's comment here isn't even that bad but 99% of the comments here seem to be DESPERATE for a villain when it's just two people talking about being fundamentally incompatible, which is OK and good!)
Exactly!
26:17 referencing Key and Peele 'MEEGHAN COME ON' ahaha love it!
We Need a reaction to the one where Andre tries to break up with Meegan lol
@@FeatheredAndLethal YES!
YES I SCREAMED. Dr Honda is such a well rounded individual haha
"nnnnNOo"
The anger in his eyes scares me. It's like he's growling. "I TOLD my family you were the one," he says through gritted teeth. And he's doing this in front of cameras. I can only imagine him being more aggressive and controlling behind closed doors.
His look kinda scared me….
Yep. I'd be scared of that behavior too.
Exactly! That kind of switching is scary. I think she dodged a bullet. He needs therapy, not an engagement.
Totally agree
Scary is right. That so many girls are throwing themselves at him now saddens me and worries me. And I don’t see him going to therapy. Just to spite people but just hurting himself (and others).
ugh yeah I had a similar situation in my life and this is still very triggering for me. He is in a way really mean to her. Like he is blackmailing her
I find greg very triggering due to one ex experience. I felt greg was punishing katie. So hard to watch that. I hooe he can work through it and use it for growth.
I'm genuinely curious: Does it not ping as mean to you that she responded so flatly after he opened up about the death of his family? He's not "entitled" to her love, but what would it cost Katie to show a little empathy?
It does seem mean (AKA self-centered, her reaction) to me, but that may very well be my own similar situations in life, so the reaction here is VERY surprising to my experience. I don't care if you're on TV, can't you say "Oh Greg, you know I can't reciprocate for the show but come here and let me hug you" when faced with real human sadness? Makes me feel even more like an alien than I already did, lol.
The gaslighting happens when she says "I was just listening" and he immediately argues "you weren't listening". He paints this picture of her as a neglectful person who should've known better instead of owning up to his own feelings and saying "But I didn't feel heard, I need more reassurance than what I was receiving because it's made me question my feelings and if you really see me"
YES ^^^ THIS! "and if you loved me you'd..."
But would someone who was listening reply with "I just love looking at you" after someone spills their deepest darkest guts to you? I mean, at a baseline humanity level, we HAVE to be able to agree there was a disconnect in tone and expectations here... right? Hopefully, for my faith in humanity?
He didn’t feel heard, and that is a function of his pain. The pressure of the show helps create this. It’s good he left for him and her.
Yes exactly 👏🏽 it’s the worst thing ever when someone doesn’t know how to acknowledge and own their own feelings.
It’s all downhill from there.
@@vazzaroth I don't understand why everyone keeps focusing on that phrase, I guess bc it's a funny soundbite. There are countless other statements she made to show reassurances as the therapist mentioned and as the clips showed. We're almost there... please don't give up on us... not to mention all the body language. holding his tearful face in her hands, holding his hands, empathy and eye contact, etc. But she is on the Bachelorette as the therapist so accurately put it, so quite frankly it was awkward and yes at a certain point she knew she couldn't say what he wanted to hear in that moment so she was trying to change the subject. But "I love to look at you" is not by any means the only thing she said to him. Also one of the other commenters called it"love bombing", it did seem like that to me... a bit love overload and a lot of pressure that she couldn't equally reciprocate at this stage.
Many people are getting stuck on the fact that she “laughed and told him she loves looking at him”. But that wasn’t how that went down, there was more context than her just laughing and telling him that. He was actually smiling through his tears, when telling her that he is in love with her. She smiles back, and continued to comfort him by holding his hand, she then lets out a brief laugh and when he asks “what?”, she responds that she loves looking at him. That’s not the only thing she said though. She continued and gave him a lot of reassurance with the next things she said. She pretty much told him it was going to be him in the end, without actually saying it. She said that she believes in them, and that this hard part will be worth it in the end, etc. He just refuses to hear any of that, because he is laser-focused on wanting to hear that she is in love with him too. Anything she says that isn’t those exact words, he dismisses. And he continues to convince himself of a narrative that isn’t based in reality.
She actually told him more than she should even. And yet he continues to shoot down everything she says. When she uses the show’s terms of him definitely getting the next rose, he is upset, because he wants her words to not be about the show. If he actually would have stopped being so combative and dismissive, and actually listen and hear what she was saying, it would have been clear to him too, that she said everything short of “you are my final pick”.
She explained that she was wanting to hold out till the very last moment to say the words “I love you”, but for him nothing else was going to be good enough. His accusations of her not being responsive to him pouring his heart out, are just not accurate. She shows him a lot of support, holds his hand, wipes his tears, reassures him. She couldn’t do anything right in his eyes at that point. When he tested her by walking away the first time, and she came after him, it still wasn’t good enough for him, and he still didn’t take that as reassurance she wanted to be with him in the end. So he doubles down and leaves again, thinking she will come after him again, when that doesn’t happen and it backfires, he is taking that as a sign she didn’t truly want to be with him. When in actuality, he sabotaged the relationship himself.
Totally agree with you. It’s alarming to me how many women (and men) want to blame Greg’s behaviour on Katie. It’s like no wonder so many relationships have serious problems!
I feel bad for both of them but I definitely relate to Katie saying "I was listening" as someone who is quieter and listens and empathises without an automatic response. And that does get misinterpreted sometimes as not listening or caring enough to respond but I've been hurt by people thinking I need a response to explaining my experiences and saying the wrong thing. I try to think and respond later if it's needed.
When you're listening, though, are your eyes vacant? Do you come back with non-sequiturs like "ur hawt" after someone goes into their deep grief about their dead father? Greg was no angel here, he's a very deeply hurt and traumatized person looking for assurance in an absurd, fake television show, but to say that Katie did nothing wrong and is a victim is just baby-level emotional intelligence, IMO. (Not you OP, But you're one of the few seemingly reasonable people on this page to jump off with.)
@@vazzaroth they both clearly didn't respond the right way for the other person and 100% neither responded perfectly in that moment. That said she did continue to validate him throughout the season, and he let one night ruin his entire opinion of a person he says he loved and wanted to marry. I don't think she chose for her mind to go blank of the right responce at that moment in order to hurt him. He chose to give up on their relationship after one incident when she clearly still wanted him there.she definitely said the wrong thing but she never purposely mistreated him from what I saw. I've had some weird responses to describing trauma - a lot of people don't know what to say - but it's not like they hadn't previously had deeper conversations about their respective losses.
@@leora8278 exactly Leora. I left a longer response to Vazzaroth on another comment, so I won’t go into that here except to say part of the issue here is the way it’s edited.
I’ve been there, when someone lays stuff out so intensely and so unexpectedly that I need time to process because I’m in shock and don’t know what to say. Then he gets further agitated. She dodged a bullet. He needs therapy before he can be in a healthy relationship. It’s not just about his dad either, if his ex girlfriends are telling the truth about him being a manipulator.
Maybe he was so anxious about sharing his grief, he assumed she would reject him; so his brain made up her "rejection" with intrusive thoughts about her not listening. just a thought
I don't think it really takes a lot of "fill in the blanks" to take A: "My dad died and I love you and I've never opened up like this EVER BEFORE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE with B: "Wow ur pretty" as a reaction to perceive rejection of some kind.
It is so interesting, a marriage and family therapist of many years who covers this show (@backtolovedoc) came out and stated she thought his behaviours were in line with someone who has anxious attachment style and he bolted as could not take the anxiety of her possible rejection.
Yes, and I feel that every since he saw her and her other guy out and kissing, happy, etc, he felt as if he had already lost her to the other guy anyway, sorry can’t think of his name.
@@tessylouella He actually didn't see them kissing that's just the way they edited it. When he really saw them was on their way out to their date. The show does weird stuff like that. If he would have seen them kissing he would have said I saw them kissing he said I saw a part of their date. What they showed was the kissing part and then what they showed was Greg staring off looking at the balcony these were filmed in two different spots of the resort I've been there.
As an anxious attachment style person myself, I totally get where he’s coming from. He’s spiraling and he doesn’t have the capacity to self soothe or trust that he’ll eventually be okay if things don’t work out with her. I’ve had a few emotional meltdowns I’m not proud of that were colored by my insecurities but I’m a girl. I think his gender makes many people interpret his anxiety as agression.
@@CHK12319 for sure
As much as I want to criticize Greg, I think a lot of us had that black and white mentality at some point. I don’t think Greg knows what secure attachment is like, and I think he could get there with therapy
So, he actually was in Therapy for the loss of his father to cancer... and then his therapist died suddenly and unexpectedly of cancer after about a year relationship with Greg. After the show he wasn't able to live alone and needed to live with family, and still is I believe. (Effectively checking himself into suicide watch and emotional day care after these fans assumed he's just some elemental evil who is an abuser for fun)
Greg seems so to be purposely sabotaging the relationship so he doesn’t have to risk anything because he has already lost so much and can’t emotionally take being dumped. Been there! I think he knows that on some level, but isn’t self aware or humble enough to acknowledge it.
Did we watch the same show? He was dumping HER, at least on the 2nd day there. He came there to say goodbye but wanted to give her every opportunity to prove his assessment (that she is emotionally shallow, YES EVEN WHILE BEING UNDER PRESSURE OF A TV SHOW, and isn't a good fit for him, who needs someone that is more nurturing and empathetic) wrong before saying "aight, Ima head out" as he planned to. The "anger" people are detecting really doesn't seem to be directed at katie to me, personally. It seems directed inward. He's angry at himself for allowing himself to be vulnerable. "I TOLD my family you were THE ONE" is the biggest "Jesus christ I'M SO FUCKING STUPID" tone that I've ever seen. But the defensive, equally dead inside, unsympathetic audience here can only see it from an external perspective and process it into anger to create a more simplistic and "good vs evil" narrative.
Totally agree. He dumped her before the possibility of being rejected; he wouldn't have been able to handle it.
@@laurenl5808 Well, I mean she rejected him after he spilled his guts and she replied with "ur pretty" lol.
Game or not, that's rejection any way you slice it, regardless of reason. And yea, he couldn't, lol, so he left.
Nah you’re saying it was rejection so you can sympathize with him but it’s not.
I was paying attention. Greg had talked a whole bunch and said “you fill the hole in my heart since my dad died.” And she had wiped his tears and said “I’m glad”. She was trying to affirm him without saying I love you.
Then here’s where it gets awkward. He started applying pressure, “I don’t see what else I have to show or what else I have to say, I’m only going down on one knee once yada yada yada.” And that’s when she laughs because she’s uncomfortable. He asks “what?” and then she says “I just like looking at you.”
That’s called prompting a response. She responded poorly because right after bringing up his dad’s death it seemed like he was trying to get her to call the show. I certainly would have read it that way if I were Katie. “I don’t know what else to show you at this point.” is a demand without making a demand. He put her in a tough spot and newsflash, people in relationships don’t always respond well when put on the spot like that.
So many of you are falling sucker for his words. But he already contradicted himself. Go to the therapist’s first video at 5:20 to 5:40 he’s telling his best buddy everything Katie tried to explain to him for the next two days.
“I know it’s us at the end of this. I know the position she’s in so she can’t tell me she loves me but it’s gonna work out. I’m pretty confident that we’ll be together.”
And even before watching this video I remember him telling his mom that she was gonna move to New York and they’d figure it out.
For that to all fall apart because your partner disappointed you in a single moment and then for you to ignore everything your partner says in an effort to fix it tells me you don’t love your partner. People who love their partners do everything they can to make things work because they don’t want to lose their partners. He did everything he could to shove her away. If you take Greg at his word you have to believe he’s a crazy person because he already demonstrated he knew exactly why Katie wasn’t going to fully declare herself prior to that fight. It’s on camera!
I found him very triggering. The way he pressures her, completely disregards her and then makes her feel like she did anything wrong and it's all her fault is devastating to watch. It's so difficult to pinpoint why exactly I feel this way about him, but he makes my skin crawl.
So why does Katie (and you) get to be triggered but Greg doesn't?
RUN girl!!! As fast as you can... Get tf out. Smh no way.
Same for Greg. He honestly shouldn't have come on TV in the first place. That's his biggest misstep IMO.
Isn’t saying he’s number 1 the same as saying she wants to marry him? Jeez Greg
He's so hurt by whatever happened they other night, he's not listening!!
@@hopebullard460 He wasn't listening or really thinking rationally...
@@bachelornationp.o.p.9922 right but when you have doubts and doom and gloom is consuming you it's hard to shut up and listen
Rebecca- xoxoxox
He didn't want to be just another number to her. I think when you have an idealized version of love, he just wanted to be the "only one"
My bf told me he loves me really early on our relationship (two months in it) and I wasn’t ready yet. I am the type of person, for whom this expression cuts deep and when I say it, I mean it for the life. I have came to the point of expressing my love to him couple of months later and it was a magical moment! 💓 Till this moment, my bf wasn’t pushing at all, he was really understanding and loving and even said to me once, he does not need to hear it, because he sees it in my eyes… He gave me the time I needed and space to feel comfortable to express it and that made me love him even more 💓 If he was anything like Greg here… Idk, I will most likely run away 😂
Your bf sounds like a real keeper ❤️
Yea, sounds like you and him are pretty healthy. In a different world, maybe that would have been these two. The difference is that you had the luxury of waiting. Greg is going to be expected to propose in.. what, 1 week from that day? lol
I guess we can’t know what or if they’ve said to each other when there are no cameras. But the fact that he doesn’t seem to get why this isn’t reality and why she may not be able to say what he wants her to say would make me run so far and so fast. Maybe I’m not used to such vulnerability but this seems much more like some major psychological problem than it does being open and honest. Katie dodged a bullet, I think.
And i'd be pissed and hurt by all this distrust and pressure and aaaaarrrhhh wanna punch him! Like i sometimes want to punch darcy! You have it! It's in your hand and you squeez it to death yourself!!!!!!
@@kimosabe818 yes, good observation, it’s similar to Darcey in the over the top-ness of it all. It’s always so fast and furious and eyes on the prize before she even knows if being with the person long term would actually be a good thing.
@@kimosabe818 Yes, I like how you said that it's in their hand but they end up squeezing it to death themselves. I think the root of that is a feeling of unworthiness - "I am unworthy of love and respect and a good, caring partner."
So did Greg. The most fundamental thing here is that they are NOT compatible. It never would have worked, they're basically aliens to each other. Luckily, they found out BEFORE marriage, which was kind of Greg's objective the entire time, and is extremely healthy IMO, compared to just forcing a square peg into a round hole by dragging this incompatibility to the end of some stupid made-up game show.
Greg did an interview on the Viall files podcast, he admitted his mistakes. I really recommend the episode.
I understand his frustrations. I think most people do. I also think she didn't react very well when she just stayed quite and then said "I love looking at you" or something like that... But his reaction is very disproportionate, dramatic and he dealt with his pain attacking her, judging everything she was saying, ignoring her situation and her challenges. Also, he completely chose to ignore their context. So, yeah, I can understand his pain and frustrations and at the same time think it is obvious she is way better off without him. That disproportionate drama would have continued.
Greg literally had JUST said that he has NEVER been vulnerable with anyone before, and it did NOT go well, as you said. Bad reaction, sure. Understandable? Yes, imo. Proof he's going to continue to be volatile or abusive or whatever the fans seem to think? Not even remotely true. That is simply pure speculation.
Time-wise these folk spend like what?? 10 days together total if even...and it's undying love!?
@@vazzaroth I like how you worded this. Greg reminds me a lot of myself. The way he goes about life. For me, when I think my relationships with people are going well there’s always one thing that completely throws me off and I have (I hate to admit) completely pushed those people out in a passive aggressive and ruthless manner. It’s definitely not something I love about myself. I think he got so hurt that the only way he could make it through was to act the way he did. It’s a defense mechanism. Its not healthy but it is human.
In bachelor/bachelorette parlance they say, “I’m falling for you,” or “I can see myself with you.” It is very common for this language to be exchanged.
He's pushing her into a corner to say I love you, and to prove it. And that's manipulation!! His whole approach is to make her feel guilty. YIKES, BRUH! Relax!
She fills the hole in his heart... NOT GOOD!!! Someone cannot fix you. Because eventually they let you down. IMO, Only God can fill the hole in your heart. I think she has been totally real with him.
That is way too much responsibility to put on a person.
Yeah it is manipulation. I think we should be careful to label it malicious though. To me it seems manipulative the same way insecure teenagers are.
As an ex-vangelical, I have to point out that the emotionally abusive boyfriend/sky daddy conceit of god is really damaging and creepy. There is not a god shaped hole in his heart, there is a human father shaped hole and it will never be filled and he has to live with that. There is no instant fix for grief. Wether it’s god-high or opiates, it will wear off and damage you.
@@Constantin9va you are welcome to believe what you want. And I will believe what I want. That is my personal belief. No it's definitely not an instant relief to grief. I absolutely agree with you there.
It's extreeemely revealing that Katie was the one apologizing. When she was the victim!
Agreed. Thats the definition of Emotional Blackmail: "Emotional blackmail describes a style of manipulation where someone uses your feelings as a way to control your behavior or persuade you to see things their way. Dr. describes emotional blackmail as being subtle and insidious."
Greg is too much!
His desperation and emotional insecurity is very off putting to me.
thanks so much for these videos! i was dying to hear a professional analyze their conversations because his flip from “in love” to “you betrayed me” was so sudden. i would love to see you watch their discussion on tonight’s episode because i think katie had some interesting moments/comments to talk about.
Damn I don’t even watch this show, but Dr Honda is so hyped that I’m hyped.
'Lashing out based on an assumption' is exactly how my last relationship ended. If I took too long to respond, if I ever said anything remotely vague, if my pattern of communication differed in anyway, it was always on me to reassure him that I didn't suddenly lose interest. Every fight was me having to convince him that my every action up until that point wasn't leading to a break-up. This guy had childhood trauma and past relationship problems, so when he was finally able to open up to me, suddenly I was responsible for his happiness (actually very similar to Greg in that regard). So when I went out of town to grieve a death in my own family, and suddenly I wasn't there to be his emotional support, that became the straw that broke the camel's back.
Listen, I think the bachelor/bachelorette is an emotionally traumatizing show, period. It is not normal. And people should not normally be expected to exist under these conditions. Perhaps it's reality TV on a whole.
Ding ding ding! We actually have an emotionally empathetic human being in the comments! Congrats, you get the "restoring my faith in humanity" award today! :)
If you haven't, I recommend "UnReal" on Hulu. An older show based on a book/expose by a bachelor producer. This shit is extremely toxic, but we monkey-brained humans want to watch the world burn, eh?
This is so good. Thank you for taking the time to do this Dr.! Everyone could use this kind of therapy in their relationships.
The intensity of this man makes me think that he has mood disorder tendencies. Not saying he is diagnosed as such or that we possibly could, but I recognize this intensity as part of anxiety, not being able to patient and live with uncertainty. People with mood disorders or are prone to due to family history tend to fall fast and hard, too fast for what is sustainable, and they cannot stop thinking about the issue
Yes I was definitely one of these people throughout my life ending around 25. But through those tendencies I hurt a lot of people and thought I was justified in my own hurt because of every perceived slight. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I think shows a lot that he doesn't talk to his family about his father's death it's almost like they don't have that comfortability or that safety to express it.
He's very entitled to expect the show's premise would halt to meet his demands. He knew what he was signing up for. But now he thinks he should be above the rules?
Well, yeah, look what happened with Clare. There might be a lot of people who now have different expectations after that. In fact, it might be offensive to you as a contestant who then thinks, if the Bachelor or Bachelorette isn't just shutting things down to be with me, is it even love?
@@sabrinashelton1997 yea but in the history of the show, how many Clare and Colton’s are there? Compared to everyone else that sticks it out to the end. I think I would want the person to be certain and sometimes they need time
@@sabrinashelton1997 why would you have different expectations just because things went sideways once before? The official rules are still the same. If going along with the rules offends you, then don't be on the show. Simple as that. It's really backwards thinking to show up as a guest, have the rules stated clearly to you, and then proceed to insist you should be treated specially.
@@rainstorm571 right, and it shouldn't be 1 person pressuring the other to leave the show. If it's a mutual decision, fine. But it shouldn't be coercive...and Greg is being completely coercive.
Give me a quote where he asked for that, please.
Or, in other words:
*Citation needed
I am LOVING this reaction series. Thank you Dr Honda, Stacy, et al
Please do the after the final rose (it airs tonight!)
Well done here!
Nice to see you here! Best of both worlds 💪🏼
Hey Dave, thanks for mentioning Dr. Honda. He really takes his time. Realizes it is also a reality show! He also has great taste in TV and music 👍🏻
Not a reality show but I wonder if you've ever seen the show UnREAL. It is told from the viewpoint of a team producing a Bachelorette-like show. Childhood- and relationship trauma drive the action pretty heavily and make for one of the most compelling "villains" ever portrayed on TV. Highly recommended as a context (albeit fictionalized and dramatized) to the way reality show contestants are driven to extreme behavior.
I love that show, and always think of it when I watch the Bachelor/Bachelorette. Makes me watchful for the seedy underbelly of the show with the producers putting these damaged people into potentially emotionally explosive situations for ratings. The goal isn’t healthy love…it’s about the drama.
He freaked himself out.
Can’t wait for part 4!
"Greg, this isn't real life, it's the bachelorette!" LOL
So where does the filming take place? Narnia?
TBF, LA is pretty much a fake place though, lol. And they took a little piece of that fakeness into New Mexico to film.
I've only watched this through Dr. Honda, but he's giving me love bombing vibes, quite manipulate or just extremely insecure
Oh man, you're lucky you're not deep into "Bachelor nation," as they call it. It's so toxic, people have developed such an intense, inexplicable attachment to Greg solely based on seeing him on tv. Seeing people attack Katie (the lead this season) when she was clearly the only thing close to a "victim" in this situation (not a fan of that word but I do think it applies) and coddle him as if he was abused by her has been really soul-crushing. I get that it's a show but it has revealed true nastiness & misogyny in its audience. It's pretty wild.
@@tgardner11 A lot of relationship game/reality shows have extremely misogynistic audiences... mostly the women.
@@tgardner11 It's been so hard to see most of Bachelor Nation fall for Greg because of his edit and tear Katie apart because the producer obviously like Greg more than Katie, etc. Most of Bachelor Nation is toxic...
@@tgardner11 it was really disturbing to discover. Really a turn off, why do people watch to hate so much? Mass delusion
@@LilBrownieD Because they don't like themselves and get to create an external scapegoat to project onto and ritualistically "kill" in their mind and opinion.
Also, I love how the guys leaving always take the stairs (Andrew and Greg). Like it’s the Big Bang Theory and the elevator is always broken lol. Slow exit, give her time to chase after you. She takes the elevator up on the way back in the next part 😂
Lol I think they don't want to wait for the elevator to come to their floor
He irks me so much. I felt like he was blaming her for everything and not acknowledging that she was hurt and that's scary ASF. He didn't let her speak and when she did he didn't accept what she said. He has been her hubby since the first episode practically, and for him to act like she is suddenly "not in love" is just not okay at all. Even if it was real life or not a show, she doesn't owe him an "I love you" regardless of if he says it, she doesn't need to say it back. I'm glad he left, when he was walking off and she started chasing after him I was telling him to run faster because I didn't want her to try and save the relationship when he is being so mean to her and disrespectful to her. She deserves better than what he is making her go through.
Been married for the past five years, together for ten… i can never imagine now having this kind of fight. Our fights now are a lot about being upset about a topic, putting it down in the heat of it snd then coming back to discuss it as partners later. Of course what we fight about is home repair and money mostly which is a challenge to face together. When you are fighting to get something out of your partner, that just seems to lead to tons of heartbreak.
Yea, sucks they had to do all that on a tight timetable and were being rushed/poked by production, huh? He was being expected to freakin' propose, what, the next week? This show is inhumane.
I think it’s possible that when he got a peek at her other one on one date with Blake it really unnerved him, and maybe he keeps replaying what he saw in his head and that feeds too strongly into his insecurity and breaks the naive fantasy that Dr Honda was describing.
Yep, the fundamental issue here (And not all the weird assumptions everyone else is making) is that Greg basically thought they had something special, and they just didn't. The rest is just fallout from that window being shattered.
Now, I'm under the impression she gave him hints that they did have something special, but it's clear Katie's "special" and Greg's "Special" are two very different things. That's the #1 issue here, but everyone watching in the coliseum crowd demands blood and a hero/villain dynamic, and thus, trashy reality TV was born.
To me, this screamed attachment injury. I don't think the closeness and security he was looking for had entirely to do with her, which is why there was no real way for her to soothe him.
Exactly.
People that are wanting to curbstomp this emotionally injured and handicapped person remind me of the folks that see someone who can walk park in a disabled space and then judge them, assuming they're "able bodied" based off of 3 seconds of information, lol.
He understands The Bachelorette since he’s been trying to get on the show since Hannah B. season.
the key and peele reference 😂
Thank you!! There is one more segment after this. I hope you cover it 💜💜
Dr Honda I have to say a huge thank you from my heart, I appreciate you for your your time and knowledge you share, your comments helped me to navigate through my healing, recognising my own insecurities, finding ways to address them, I have matured so much as a person, thanks to your demonstrating how to be a best version of myself although I know I still have plenty to learn. You are doing an amazing job and you are impacting many lives in a very positive way! Thank you 🤗
Thanks for doing these videos and bringing your expertise to the conversation. I wish you could have been in the room with them. They may not have ended up together but at least we the viewers would feel less frustrated.
Instead we get the "reality TV, L.A. psychologists" who inform the producers of the best way to provoke the insects to attack each other for our amusement, lol.
Thank you Dr. Honda for giving us your insight on this. After watching this episode last week, I realized I might have been triggered from this exact scenario happening in my past. It was really healing and eye opening to view this!
I watch these to take great advice and knowledge from you! You are so helpful! Thank you so much!
thank you for recapping this!!! I swear I thought of psychology in Seattle when I watched this!
Dr Honda have you watched/thought about reacting to the new Love is Blind eps? Because we Need to talk about Damian.
“But Greg this isn’t real life 🤷🏻♀️” 😂😂😂
I can't wait for the next part!
The way Greg broadcasts his insecurities onto her makes me uneasy. He seems like a nice enough guy but there is something a very uncomfortable about his behavior. I don't know if the producers are feeding his darker side in order to get this drama but it seems entirely unnecessary.
The producers could have easily calmed him down before he meet her. Water or deep breaths. Something.
Turns out it's pretty "very uncomfortable" to open up to someone romantically for the first time in your life and then get absolutely nothing back, too.
So ready for this 🙌
He's using pity and guilt to manipulate her...it feels icky. The way he accuses her of not listening and tells her what she "should" be thinking and doing, I'm not here for any of that. (I don't watch any shows of this franchise, and after watching these snippets and analyses, I'm reassured that they are not for me.)
Interesting. This is exactly my reaction to the 90 Day franchise! Too much xenophobia, entitlement, screaming, etc. I watch Dr. H’s reaction videos because he manages to make these situations so educational...but I would never sit down to watch the full show.
And on the flip side, I *do* follow the Bachelor franchise. Most of the time, the people who are unstable/toxic get weeded out, and the couple at the end has a good foundation to build on back in the real world. Sure, most relationships don’t last in the long run...but those that do are SUCH a treat to watch ❤️
The show is usually WAY more superficial than this! This is pretty deep and raw for this show.
Our watch party totally called this would happen. Lol. Our nickname for him was “night stalker” -just gna put it out there.
Producers for this franchise also have a way of getting into the contestants head. If someone is the front runner, they will put doubt in their mind behind the scenes.
So not only is it sort of against the “rules” for the lead to explicitly tell someone how they feel like you’ve mentioned, but they’re likely being fed all sorts of things by producers to heighten their anxiety about the relationship.
And going back to the lead not being able to tell the contestants their feelings, the times I’ve seen a lead go against that has been when they tell everyone in the final 3 that they love them. I think the idea is to have some ambiguity there to not only the audience, but the contestants as well. So it’s basically tell all of them or none. I would imagine a lot of leads opt out on telling all of them since that’s potentially leading contestants on even more
There have been some leads that find a way to let their front runner know secretly though. One example was when a guy told the lead that he loved her. When they embraced you could hear her whisper to him that she can’t say it back basically implying that she’s not allowed to
I haven’t watched this season, but I’m sure it’s a combo of all of this that has Greg stressed out. Who knows what the producers are saying to him behind the scenes
Exactly this. The producers are behind this. I believe that absolutely. The producers are the only people they are even allowed to talk to for, what, a couple of months? They do feed them stuff to provoke certain reactions in them. Anyone who has been on the show says this is true.
@@sabrinashelton1997 yep, I’ve heard quite a few contestants that were on the show say this. Of course a lot of them can’t speak out since they’re still under contract for a certain amount of time even after the show wraps if I’m not mistaken. But, there have been some that spoke out about it after their contracts were up. This is not the healthiest of shows to go on. Producers only care about one thing. They manipulate people’s emotions to get reactions like you said
Oh I'm sure she got SERIOUSLY in trouble for telling the family he was "Not a frontrunner but a frontrunner"
Your read is so spot on it's insane!!! You're really good at your job!!
Anyone else want to see Dr. Honda react to Love is Blind: After the Alter? I want him to analyze Giannina and Damian's relationship
Yes! He did the rest of the series originally, so I'd love for him to take on the follow-up episodes.
@@sadiek8785 Oh I didn't know that - I'll have to go check out some of his older videos!
@@LindaEdith his take on the original show was so interesting!
@@jummy1773 Oh now I'm really interested. I gotta go check that out!!
Dr HONDA! You'll have a field day with the After the final rose episode when they meet back up after the breakup
I already have anxiety about that omg
@@GreatBooker it was intense to say the least 😳
She took her power back. She acknowledged she went a little hard on IG but those producers soft course showed her the clips, got her nice and upset before sending her out. They’re such vultures. They stress these people out too much. Mike Fleiss was drooling over it. He’s so gross.
He definitely understands how the show works. He was originally supposed to be part of the cast a couple seasons ago but he was "too young" lol.
I just wonder how much the upcoming Fantasy Suites had to do with this.
I would imagine very much. I feel like I understand Greg, even if understanding =/= excuse or to absolve of all sin. An apparent subtly that escapes most of this viewer base.
If it was me, I wouldn't want to be intimate with a woman that I didn't feel like loved me back, whether they SAY THE WORDS or not. A lot of the commenters on this issue are, imo, really playing into stereotypes that men HAVE to lust after and fawn over pretty women no matter what. They treat her like a prize to be admired unilaterally because... idk she's skinny, wears good make-up and has conventionally attractive facial features?
Ok. That's not what a foundation of a loving and successful life partnership are founded on, tho?
@@vazzaroth I wondered if he just didn't want to be intimate with her for some reason or if he wanted her to agree not to be intimate with anyone else.
I screamed when you referenced the Key and Peele skit about Meegan lol
I flipped when Dr Kirk brought up Meegan 🤣 thanks Dr for bringing another insightful episode. I'll definitely keep watching.
I can't wait to see the next part!!
I'm a new fan of your channel! You didn't even watch the whole season, and you have one of the best understandings about this disagreement!
I love Psychology in Seattle because this man is always on it!!! A video I didn't realize I wanted!
Thank you for the very interesting and thorough take! Feels so spot on. Glad you pointed out what was a problem without saying Greg was necessarily doing it on purpose
It's trippy how people seem to think humans do every single thing in life 100% intentionally and are never a slave to their turbulent emotions.
Let he (or she) who is without sin, eh?
I had to click around a bit to find this. I appreciate that you can say, “I see where he’s coming from, but it’s not a fair accusation.”
Dr. Honda, whatif you haven't had a lot of relationships and haven't experienced heartbreak, are there other ways to develop that emotional maturity you described?
Develop your personal interests, devote your time to yourself and your friends, learn who you are and remember who you are. I wish I had more security in who I was and what I wanted when I was in my first relationship. I totally lost who I was hoping he would still like me. This is just from my personal experience, hope it could help!
Thank you!!! There is a whole other part to this fight that I hope you cover!
I know he ended it just as it was getting good!!!
@@Notmyr3alname I do hope he finishes it. Katie still seems strong here. After she chases him and he rejects her, she is so defeated. I suspect her residual anger is due to the shame she feels about looking weak in those later moments.
I think he's going to do at least 1 more part to this series. He could also analyze their conversation during After The Final Rose...