Dealing with grief and anger - 2024 is a new start
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 ม.ค. 2024
- The last year and a half have been very difficult for us. We were already dealing with the loss of close friends. Then Shana was reported missing by her husband of just over a year.
Her remains were found 10 days after he reported her missing. More questions than answers.
As her parents, this has been a very difficult time.
Shana. • Shana
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Finding out that the police had closed the case, and not bothered to notify you must have felt like another kick in the gut. I'm so sorry this happened. I can only imagine it adds to the unbearable grief of losing your child. I would be spitting fire. I admire your faith that God will hand this 'person' (I'll call him that rather than what I'd like to call him) his justice. We're here for whenever you feel up to making a video. All good wishes for healing and peace for you both, in 2024. x
Your anger is well placed. No one should have to go through this treatment from law enforcement.😡
I have thought about you often since your original post. Having lost a son, I know the grief you have endured, but you have had so much more to deal with! Praying for your healing.
Never apologize for going through your own pain and suffering and experiencing! I’m sorry you’re going through this- but just know that you’re helping others.
This video took a whole lot of courage for you to make Vickie. As far as the videos are concerned, ... you do what's best for YOU, not us viewers! I hope 2024 brings you peace.
Grace and Peace to you and Brian.
I can’t imagine your grief and pain. So sorry. Good for you to volunteer. In my family my mom was the abuser. Take care. Hugs
Oh Ms Vickie I am so sorry you were let down by those who could have helped in Shana's case, that is a travesty. God is so faithful, there will be Justice, because he is Just. I pray for peace and joy for you and Brian until you see your beautiful children again. Thank you for your service to others suffering Domestic Violence, you have such a loving heart to serve with all you have been through. I will wait as long as it takes for you to feel comfortable in making videos again, I have watched every one some several times. You are a Blessing my
Dear Sister in the Lord.
So sorry you and your husband have had to endure this pain and suffering. I pray God will give you peace. May you see her again in heaven.
I pray that when you feel darkness crowding in you will look toward, see and feel God's Light. Jesus told us 'I am the Light of he world'. I lift you up in your grief and pray you allow God to carry you through this season of grief. I pray the Lord lift your heavy hearts. God Bless
I’m so sorry for you and Brian’s loss , what a terrible situation, I pray for peace in this difficult time , u must take all the time you need to find your way 🙏
I want to blanket you with love. It took a lot of strength and courage to make this video. I'm glad you have your faith to help you deal with the anger.
I will never know what it feels like to go through what you and Brian have endured. But this is the anniversary of my two grand-nieces' murder by their father, who was a domestic abuser. I'm glad he also killed himself, so that my niece doesn't have to endure having him walk the earth. My step-grandson's fiance was murdered by her abusive ex-boyfriend, and although everyone, including the police, knew he had done it, the DA decided there wasn't enough evidence to convict him, so he got away with it. His father was, is, a wealthy and influential person in that town who always gets his son off. So I've seen how much harder it is to know that the murderer gets off without earthly justice.
You mentioned survivors of domestic violence. The families of domestic murder victims are survivors of domestic violence, too. Their lives are irreparably shattered. People talk about healing, but there are some things you don't ever heal from. You learn how to carry the burden of your pain, and with time, work, and grace, you may achieve peace. I wish that for you. But it's very early days yet. You've still got a lot of grieving to do and it's hard work; it uses a lot of energy.
Please be gentle with yourself. My New Year's wish for you is that you continue to move forward in coming to grips with the unthinkable, and that you are able to find comfort in small things. Sending you love.
My dear friend. ❤ I know it took courage to make this video. May God bless you and Brian with peace. You are in my prayers. ❤❤
Have thought of you often. Give yourself grace and time for healing.
Im praying that The Lord wraps you in His peace and comfort and gives you the closure you need. God bless you, Miss Vickie. My heart breaks for you and your family.
Just yesterday I was wondering where you had been lately. Praying for you. To God be all the glory and honor and praise.
God bless you. I followed your daughters case thank you for sharing this heartbreaking outcome I felt your strength in sharing it . I lost 2 friends one to murder and one was the murderer in a domestic violence situation. Thank you for educating and devoting your time to help stop this madness of women losing their life to someone they trusted
So sorry you went through all of that. Lee's and my younger son Thomas died of SIDS seven weeks after his birth in 2011. Our older son Daniel is 15, happy, and healthy.
Oh I’m praying for you and your husband I’ve missed you
Vickie, we love you. We hurt because you hurt. I pray to God for your comfort, your happiness, your healing, and your patience with your own self. Your volunteer work is a wonderful honor and tribute to your daughter. May she live on in your work. ❤
Prayers for you and your family my heart goes out to you and Brian I pray for Gods loving arms to give you comfort stay strong he will help you get through this you area good Christian woman hugs from me to you
Vickie I have wanted to encourage you somehow but it has taken several days for me to process what you revealed on your video. As a sister in Christ I felt your pain and share your burden. You owe no one an apology for the deep trauma you have gone through. I am so happy to know that you and Brian are leaning into the Lord during this difficult time and He is directing your path. I am so proud that you are volunteering as a way to heal your soul and help those who may also be victims. My prayer for you and Brian is that 2024 will be a year of great healing and that you both may know the “peace that passes all understanding”. Give yourself grace upon grace ….. we understand and will be here for you. What hope we have that in the end all wrongs will be made right. May Shana rest in peace and her light shine through you both!
My heart breaks for you. This road of grief is a rough one. I didn't think i would survive losing our son almost 7 years ago. God has brought us through, but the pain never fully goes away. I'll be praying for you and your husband. ❤😢
I was going to email, but you had the courage to share here in public and so will I.
You have never seen or heard me, but having spent some time with you via your lovely videos I have grown to love you as a friend. Your pain is shared by many of us here as I’ve read others comments. All of us here are praying for you and have been for some time now. I want to pray specifically for you today - for God to grant you peace through forgiveness. Also praying God continue to be with you, comfort you and be your strength through this excruciating time. Forgiveness is a gift you can give to yourself. It has nothing to do with anyone else. It silently and amazingly helps to welcome peace back into our hearts and lives. Although not identical circumstances, I too can relate to what you and Brian are going through. My husband and I will continue to pray for you both. If you have not all ready made a memorial space for Shana and would like to, we would be honored to help. The economy and other circumstances aside - we are all God’s children and we are lead by Jesus’ love to help one another at His example. I have shed tears with you each time you post a video about this. As a mother, as a woman who knows loss, as your sister in Christ… I am always available to you for any reason. Please never hesitate to reach out. I will enclose my email and address and phone number in an email to you. I pray you dont find that super creepy (cant say I wouldn’t though!)
We love you and Brian and your fur babies too!
May God also speed your hearts to healing, to return you to peace and fill you with joy in all of your times ahead together this year.
Thank you for sharing this with us. Fellowship helps you- and us!!
God Bless.
Michella Payne
I am so very sorry for your great loss!
I know the grief and anger you feel! My mother died and the cops did a horrible job .There was enough evidence to start a case because of my mothers phone and a neighbors camera but the police and district attorney seemed to just not care and didn't even start a case or talk to anyone! She died in October of 2022 and i just can't seem to move on. The unanswered questions is the worst feeling and part!
I remember the news story like yesterday and I always found it weird about what happened to your daughter. I'm sorry and i hope you heal!
I am so sorry for your loss. Prayers for you in your sorrow.
You and your husband have been through so much. My heart goes out to you. Please allow yourself time and patience. I will pray for you both, and I hope 2024 brings the answers that you need. I know our father in heaven will take care of your daughter until you meet again. God bless you 🙏 ❤️
What a cruel man. What corruption. It’s so sad that women’s lives are less valued in this world. It is wonderful that you are working with DV prevention and education for kids. Grief is hard and grief along with the unfair situation LE has put you in. The person likely responsible should be watched especially if he ever gets out again so he doesn’t harm anyone else. Take your time and film videos when you are able to, no sooner. Take the time you need. You are also a victim along with your husband. 🙏🏼God Bless you both.
I have followed this story from the beginning and I’m so sorry to hear how you and Brian were treated. As a parent I can only imagine how you both must feel with what you have had to deal with. Praying that God gives you comfort and some semblance of closure. Looking forward to seeing more of you when you are ready. Till then have a blessed New Year! ❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Good Morning, Vickie, I thought of you yesterday when I checked to see if you had posted. I had previously read about what happened to your daughter. I noticed there was no further information posted about her. Now, I understand why. You and your family have been through a nightmare. I understand. Even though our circumstances were different, I understand. Remember, one thing. Sometimes, God sends Angels……
Mrs Vickie , my heart hurts for you. My prayers for you and your husband. Lean on Christ and you are right that justice belongs to the Lord. 🙏. It’s not easy to leave it in gods hands but through Christ you will find the strength.
You are one of the strongest women, to be under such grief from the sorrow of losing your children and still wanting to help others is unbelievable. Making new videos should only be done if the process brings you comfort in trying to get some sort of normalcy back to your life. Prayers for you and your husband to start healing and encourage one another to think about the better years you have experienced raising your children, This video was a step forward for you. I enjoy your videos, and it might help you with this process of healing...BUT only when you are ready. To a Better 2024.
Had not known (no reason for me to know that) he had not given you her remains. That hurt my heart for you more than the discontinuance of investigation and the closing of the case without telling you. Like all who care about you and Brian in this tragedy, I am wishing and sending you prayers for your peace and the grace of God in your hearts and minds.
Dearest Vicki, I am so sorry all of this has happened to you and family. My deepest condolences also my prayers are with you.
Prayers heading your way.
I'm far less concerned with the amount of videos as I am with your mental health. I do think that doing for others is a key way to heal. You will never be grief free. But hopefully you will get to the point that you can find joy in living and serving others. Big cyber hugs! And....if you happen to make some videos. I will watch them :)
I am so sorry for your loss. We have a similar situation in Georgia. My husband's cousin got killed and the police claimed they could not find him. The family got their own searches together and found his severed body. In the place where the police and detectives claimed to have searched. Investigators do not want to proceed with the investigation. Yes, you are right Jesus will get the revenge! Have faith and keep our hearts and eyes on him. God bless you and your family.
You’re doing all the right things. God bless you and Bryan.
My heart breaks for you and your family; 🙏🙏 for peace and comfort; I have missed you and have often wondered how you were; love from Indiana
Vickie ~ I am so sorry you are going through all this. You're absolutely right, we all will come face to face with our Lord and Savior and will be held accountable for our lives. We do not have a testimony without a test and you, my friend, are giving your testimony to all those you will help out with your volunteer work. I survived 17 yrs. of domestic violence from my ex-husband so unfortunately, I understand. Thank you for all you're doing even through your pain and grief. Don't apologize for taking time for yourself and please give yourself the grace you need! 🙏✝️❤️💜
Happy 2024❤🙏🏾 Grace definitely given. You don't have to explain. You and your husband have been tested tremendously.
Love, peace and comfort to you !!!
God Bless you and Brian, Miss Vickie. 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you for posting this. Praying for your peace. Stay strong in GOD❤️
So sorry you have to go through this Vickie! Praying for you. God Bless
❤Sending prayers for peace of mind and heart in 2024 and years to follow!
Oh Vickie, this is heartbreaking and sounds so suspicious.
Oh Miss Vickie, Grace Given for as long as you need it. Miss Vickie, I pray for you and Bryan. I even pray for the murderous individual that killed you precious daughter as God has directed us to do in his word. Even if we don’t want to. Vengeance is mine sayest the Lord. I will always be here to watch every video you upload. Much Love to you Vickie and may the Lord rest your soul!
I’m so sorry for your loss! I hope you can find peace .Your pain is heartbreaking.
I cannot begin to imagine what you have been through. I can only pray for you to find peace and strength to carry on. To lose a child is the hardest test of faith there is but to lose 3 the way you did is unimaginable to me. I think you will make a difference to many others who are victims of domestic violence and God has placed you there to do just that right now. I wish for you a year of healing and peace in 2024. 💘🙏
Thank you for sharing. You are very courageous. I pray that God will bless you with his peace and comfort. We serve a God that is forever faithful and understands our heartache.
Ms. Vickie I am so sorry for your loss! I have lost family members but never a child! I can only imagine the severity of your loss! I pray God keeps you and your husband and to help you with your healing! God bless you and your husband! 🙏🏻❤️✝️
You need to start putting names out there....we need to make phone calls on this ....from the Permian basin....Odessa Tx
terrillePermian Basin Midland Tx here- Vicki and Brian please know your daughter SHANA will always be remembered -grief has no calendar-if it takes you another 5 years to share your heart with us-we will be here holding you up in prayer .Whatever you need please reach out to us so we are here for you both
Dearest Vickie. My ❤'s in pieces in grief because of yours.😢 I've suffered tragedy too. I'm SO sorry.I've kept U in my prayers since it 1st happened. Prayers of strength, comfort, & justice.("his" strange story never set well w/ me @ all, 2 B honest.) I'll continue 2 pray 4 your healing. I believe The Good Lord will bring justice 4 Shana. May more faith & peace come 2 U & your husband each day❤ w/ warm multiple blessings holding U.❤
You and Brian have nothing to apologize for. You have to take care of yourselves and do what you need to do for your well being. Thank you for this video.
Oh Vicki, I’m so sorry. As much as we miss you. You do what you think you can. It’s hard losing a child. I’ve been through it. But my children died from sickness. So I know y’all are going through so much more. It’s hard not knowing what happened and having the answers to your questions. My prayers are with you all for comfort and peace of mind, strength to keep going. I believe Shanda visited you guys in the wild horse that hung around your beautiful place. She has to be happy now she is with our Heavenly Father.
my prayers are with you and Brian. I am so sorry that you have to go through this. God bless you both.🙏🙏
Miss Vicky!! I am so sorry!! This is all SO hard!! I’m proud of you for trusting God in spite of your deep, deep pain!! I will be praying for you and your husband!! 🙏🙏💕🙏
Thoughts and prayers for you and Brian. Take as much time as you need. I'll be here ❤️🌻
I have followed this case and story from the beginning on your channel and on you tube Texas news. I'm so very sorry to hear the case was closed while you were still waiting for justice for Shana and never told. I pry for peace and healing for you and Brian. 🙏
My heart goes out to you, and I pray your pain eases. I am a survivor of domestic abuse, and I thank you for the work you are doing.❤🙏🏼
Bless your heart sweet lady. Sending prayers to you and husband. God bless you😢🙏🙏
I don't remember subscribing to your channel but I believe it was divine intervention and I want to say that I'm so sorry for what you both have been through. That's a beautiful picture of your daughter. I'm keeping you both in my prayers.🙏🙏🙏. Stay strong and covered by God's strength peace and love in Jesus name amen 🙏
I’m so sorry for your loss Vicky and have been praying for you as the Lord brought you to my mind since this happened. God also said what’s hidden will be revealed. God will take care of this and you and your husband. I know you know that deep down. May God give you both peace. You are loved sister. ✝️🙏🏻
So sorry for your losses.I am a survivor of domestic abuse among other things, so thank you for your work with these outreaches. I never saw it coming, but I went through 10 years of hell until I found a way to leave without losing my life or those of my family. I wish I had known the signs or had a place to go safely. God bless you.
So sorry for your loss. I cant imagine the pain you are going through. Would love to give you both a big hug. Glad you are helping with a good cause. Hopefully it will help you heal. ❤❤
I have thought about you and Brian. I can’t imagine the grief and anger you are both going through. You are a strong witness to your Christian faith. No apologies needed for not being on TH-cam lately. It is in God’s hands. I’m so sorry for what you both are going through. God is using you through all of this. My prayers is that you get some peace, answers and resolution. Thank you for sharing ❤🙏
Wow Vickie, I hear such wisdom in your words. Even as you go through grief. Thank you for sharing this. You are a blessing. I will be lifting you up in prayer!
My heart goes out to you. I have been a worker with domestic violence victims and I am a survivor of domestic violence myself. My heart thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.
Thank you! No one wants to talk about DV, but it is so prevalent in our society. I want to do everything that I can to stop the cycle, and educate the younger people about the signs. I won’t be able to stop it, but if I can save one person from that horror, then it would be worth it!
My heart goes out to you ❤
I've wondered about how you & Brian have been doing. I can't even imagine what you've been thru and continue to go thru. I'm so sorry that the people you were depending on to give you answers have purposefully dropped the ball and couldn't even let you know the case was closed. I'm just so sorry... about all of it. I will pray for you, and for those who let you down as well. None of this should ever happen to any family. Hang on to your faith, as you obviously have so far. It seems sometimes, even in my own life, that's all you have. Again, I'm just so very sorry for all that's happened. I pray you have a much better year in 2024, and find the peace & comfort you need. God bless you both. 🙏🙏
The grief and anger surrounding the loss you and your husband endured is so unconscionable. One specific item you stated was that the guy in prison is serving three consecutive six year sentences for crimes he committed after Shayna disappeared. That sentence looks like this to me: 6 6 6
I had always thought that they were lying to you. God, in all his fairness, will prevail over evil.
Dear Vickie, I was so good to see and hear from you today. I'm so sorry for your sorrow and pain. God bless you.
God bless you & Brian, that He will comfort & guide you to peace, love & wholeness🤗💗🇨🇦
You call it judgement, I call it being held accountable. And those who commit crimes will end up paying a price for their actions many times worse than what they did. It's all in Divine Order. I feel your pain, and surely you know that God doesn't want you to hurt, He wants you to overcome. The timeline is of course up to you. Grief is a horrible taskmaster, believe me, I know. My prayers are with you and Brian. Be healthy, stay safe and many blessings, Morgan
I'm so sorry, I pray for healing to your heart. And justice for your daughter.
My heart aches for you , we know the pain that comes from the loss of a child , may God can help you get the resolve you deserve, shame on the police dept. for the terrible treatment you have injured . God bless you and your family 🙏
Our heart go out to u and ache with u! Being a mom myself I couldn't imagine the heart ache your going through. We will say a prayer for u as much as possible!! Just know your TH-cam family understands and is behind u 100%
Oh Vickie, I am so sorry. My heart hurts so much for you guys. Much love and many prayers for you.
❤ I can't imagine your broken heart. I'll pray for you and your husband and family.
I am so sorry for you and your husband. I hope you both find some peace this new year .
you are so strong and keep being the person you are. you are healing in the only way you know how this is a beginning, so sory for you pain and suffering you will be stronger than ever, good wishes to you and your family
Y’all are in my prayers.
You take as much time as YOU need!!!!
God will bless you and keep you. 💕
My prayers are with you and gods definitely walking with you and guiding you. Bless you
So very sorry…. Can only send support, love and prayers….
God bless you 🙏🏻
My heart goes out to you and your family. Hugs to you ❤❤. I’m so sorry!
Vickie, I feel your pain & feel for you so much. My little Sister passed this same horrendous type death two years ago right after she had reached out for my help. ~ She was in a bad marriage & he was interfering with my being able to communicate with her. ~ I didn’t get to her in time. ~ Every day is a struggle but I don’t have to tell you that. ~ Some days I can barely tolerate being in my own skin. ~ I’ll join you in trying to turn it over to God. ~ Wish I could give you a big hug. ❤
❤❤❤❤
Prayers for you all as I know this loss is extremely painful so I pray for the lords help with your pain.
Vicki, Thank you for having this heart to heart talk, I too would be so angry, forgotten, like it doesn’t matter, just case closed, and not be notified, I am so sorry, you don’t have to make any promises or say your sorry for not blogging, I have been watching you for a long while, I really appreciate your knowledge. Judgement day will come.
Love you mrs vickie
I'm praying god gives you peace in the midst of this storm. I can't imagine what you all have been through. God bless!
Grief is real and you need to talk to someone or us! You deserve that much! I am so sorry for your sorrow!
Vicki, just know our hearts are with you and your husband. and there is on time line with grief. i lost my husband 5 years ago, so i get were your coming from. just know she is with god now and she
is safe.
My heart goes out to you. What a cross to carry, so very, very difficult and even harder to embrace your cross as Jesus did. They’ve (cops, the loser husband, etc., have failed you, but God never will). I’ll place you and your husband in my daily prayers.
Oh my goodness Miss Vickie. God bless you ma’am. Hold on to that strong faith as you let go. You’ll see in His time Baam! Out of the blue your peace will come. The Lord WILL reveal His plan. He might even bring justice. But till then use those knees and thank Him for the time you did have with your daughter Shana.
Oh Vickie. my heart is breaking for you. It must be terrible not knowing and having the feeling of not being able to do anything to get closure. May your faith in the Lord carry you through every difficult moment. He is the way and only way you can get through. He will be the strength you need. I will pray for you and pray for the closure you need so much. God be with you and give you His perfect peace.
Please know we are thinking of you in this sea of grief that you are drowning in. So many things are unfair in this case, it is mind boggling! xxx