My name is also Dan, level 1 ASD, and ADHD... I find myself lonely and not lonely at the same time. It's weird. I don't think I get lonely like NT people, but I feel like social interaction would be nice, but I failed that it all my life. The harder I try doesn't matter. So I don't miss that. No one to have to constantly try to please.. I don't miss that either.
Wow again Dan. I spend all my winter, ALL the holidays alone in my house. No one even calls. I don't know how to communicate with ppl at all. I am rejected as if I am crazy. I have no idea what I am doing wrong or, saying that is so off? The pandemic made it worse, but I am still always alone every holiday, and my birthday. If not for my dog, I would be talking to the walls. People don't understand, and would rather just think you are crazy. Thank you Dan. If there was something here? I am on the other side of the pond. That would be a wonderful thing to be a part of, even if only online where if I said something nutty, ppl would get it.
Discord maybe? I get lonely, but I also need a lot of alone time so it's hard to balance that. I work from home too and am pretty much totally isolated besides my family. Sometimes I love being alone and it feels amazing, but sometimes I realize I have no real friends and it makes me a little sad. I had friends but we all drifted apart and I have even reached out to some of them but it just seems like no one is interested in me or being my friend anymore. Which is fine because I didn't know I was autistic when I had these friends and looking back I think they didn't have me as high up on their list of people as I had them. I work at a remote office and we have a chat room, but even when I start a conversation in there it seems like no one really wants to talk to me.
Autistic, and yes im lonely but ive made peace with it. I basically treat it as a minor set back and just keep pushing forward. Had some friends, couldnt keep up with them if I wanted though so its just been a drift for close to 3 years. I do talk to my cat though so im not totally alone...
I have an update: I’m not autistic though but I have complex PTSD and I feel worse than this I feel like everyone dislikes me. Doing my best to live positively
Have you ever tried EMDR therapy? It has work tremendously well for me dealing with past trauma. Doesn’t erase the memories, but changes how you feel about them when you do recall them.
Thankfully, I have one close best friend who understands me, and I am close to my family too. However, what makes me feel lonely is the fact that my family doesn't understand me most of the time. I educate them relentlessly about my autistic traits, and sometimes I get invalidated (when they say that "everybody has those problems sometimes", and then they become surprised, and even complain (get frustrated), because they can't understand why "I can't even handle this or that". And I have also learned that the average person will only desire to respect you if you get angry at them every so often. Because I am not an angry person (and since I actually don't like myself after I get angry at somebody), I have to distance myself so that I can protect my calm and peaceful bubble. And when I take a look around, it really seems like I experience a little more happiness (and less anguish) than the average typical person, simply because I don't regularly surround myself (or tolerate) toxic people. I literally feel like my life is threatened whenever I meet someone who tries really hard to break me (there are way too many people who don't like to see other people happy, and that really concerns me). I don't know how so many people thrive off of drama; it's like they need a little bit of drama in order to feel some adrenaline, so that they feel alive. It makes me feel like I can't relate to 90% of people in the world, and don't trust people enough to make new friends 💔⛓️.
Not at all. This is a discussion I had at different times with my therapist. I don't feel lonely even when I am. It's difficult to express without sounding arrogant or "full of myself', but I know how to enjoy my own company and how to have fun by myself and those times are so fulfilling. I wish more people could have that experience. But I understand how it can be different to everyone.
I'm Asperger's ADHD. Level 1 Autism, whatever one calls it now. I digress I live Alone 😔 don't have really any friends. So my life is in Solitude. Sometimes I feel really Alone and cry 😭 wondering what's wrong with me? Why am I so different from others? I have a hard time in social gatherings it feels awkward or to bright or to loud. It's hard to sit still and not fidget. And, I dislike small talk. I'm not into what other females are into. I get along better with males. But they don't just want to be my friend and hang out, even though I'm straight. I gave up dating years ago. Until a soulmate shows up. Sometimes most time I don't feel lonely, I'm so used to being Alone. I do everything Alone. I read a lot. I don't even really watch TV. I listen to music or X I like listening to spaces, but to shy to talk. So yes. What do us Adults with Autism do?
I love being alone, but when i laugh almost hysterical i suddenly feel crazy, duh... Then it hits me that there is no one i can share with especially because i cant tell a story. Im so happy i have 2 children, 1 also with autism, who listen and (try to) understand, they're my reason for everything. But when i have too much going on, im scared to leave my house or answer my phone, or even mail. Almost like i cant deal with recognition of existing by someone else. Although i always over-share.... I usually dont post or feel "pro" enough to answer a question. I dont know what it would take for me to do, ill think of it. Thanks🎉
Oh, thank you! I would love such an online community. I’m in my 60s and retired. I’ve got a wonderful, supportive husband (of 40+ years) and an awesome son (35 yo), and 2 fur babies (under 2 yo). But it’s overwhelming to leave the house anymore. And I live in a tiny town surrounded by trees! These autism videos help so much.
Lonely definitely ..even in a crowded room.I would love to meet up be it virtual or in real life but it just seems so difficult that I give up. Between GDPR and safeguarding rules it seems impossible to make safe contact with anyone these days. I live in an isolated rural area which is bliss as an autistic in many ways but makes socialising even more unlikely...
My son is in the spectrum and even that I've been not diagnosed, I'm pretty sure I live in that neighborhood as well. It could be awesome to have a forum or a chat, but with whatsapp or discord I think that there could be some discussions that may be lost in time if you are not a frequent user, and with a forum you could browse by interests and even have a chat within the forum with people you like. My son and I love to be peacefully enjoy our quiet company yet with some distance, or sometimes he on top of me while we listen some music. Other than that I am not very social and lately social interactions overwhelm. Yet I crave social interactions, but to have meaningful interactions, talk about my passions and listen to others talking about what makes them truly happy. It is really hard... I hope everybody that may feel lonely could find someone to chat or have a good time once in a while. Greetings from Mexico!
Dan, you have great ideas. I think the safety considerations need thinking about though. I am a long term subscriber right from beginning but recently had to change accounts and resubscribe. I am parent to five autistic kids and also autistic myself and ten years ago someone claiming to be autistic contacted me on a forum. We kept in touch and I relied heavily on that person in the pandemic. He was exposed as a paedophile last year November and I lost access and custody of my kids for nearly a year while the police investigated me to see if I was an enabler. I had no idea. I do not even know this persons real name yet he knows everything about me and my family, I have access to my kids back now but I really don’t want anyone else to go through something like this because it truly is horrendous
Yes even though I’m married (living in separate houses) I am lonely. My one and only best friend passed away and my four children do not live close. I have no idea how to purposely make a friend. I’m working on it. I work and now with a struggle going to church.
Hi, I am a big fan of "Aspie word". I am don't have ASD however, my 3 years old son is on spectrum and as I don't know many autistic people, I learn a lot from your channel.
It's a dilemma, I don't often feel comfortable with other people, much of it is I feel obliged/expected to. Fortunately I can eventually go home, to be alone. The best part of socialising for me is going home, not the actual socialising.
I'm lonely and sometimes trying to be social is very awkward especially when I'm really emotional so I've been feeling like that lately and I'm not happy about it but but I would like to make friends and I'd like to be more socially accepted
My loneliness is so horrible. It's unbearable. I wish I didn't have to live through all this. I am single. I hate trying to present myself in a certain way.
I have kitties, so I don’t feel lonely. When they are gone, I probably will feel very lonely. I loved the COVID restrictions, I only disliked not being able to able to go to restaurants. I have contacts online, that’s more than enough for me.
I am a member of several autism facebook groups, and I still feel lonely. I simply have grown up, I am not 51, with no friends and no close family. My sister has started getting close to me but its an odd relationship. I do not know how to make friends. I am extraordinarily shy and introverted (are those the same??) and ya I just do not know what to do...
Are there lawyers who help autistic people. A local private animal "rescue" organization took all my animals claiming I wasn't taking good care of them and then went on local TV and said I was crazy. They threatened to put me in jail if I contested it. They didn't file charges so I couldn't get a lawyer. I lost all my few friends I had, my neighbors all believe it and hate me.
Yeah I think you should do this Dan and I think Facebook would a good place to put this community chat for all people who are neurodivergent. Because there is a lot of us out there who are extremely lonely. And I found in the neurotypical world it’s hard to express how we feel or what’s wrong with us as they don’t understand and I believe we should all have a place where we can come and share our experiences without judgement. And I also believe it should be free and or maybe make a small donation as a lot people may not able to afford paying to join the group. Anyway if you like this idea let me know.
There’s loads of online options but I won’t use them cos it makes me feel more lonely cos it’s so removed to type and talk through a screen and the social awkwardness of speaking in a group with strangers even if they are autistic… so I’d definitely go to something in person but I might not want to use anything online unless maybe if it’s like a tinder or bumble that matches u with people with similar interests in your area that could be cool
i actually think about sth like facebook would be better than a group chat since we guys tend to be introverted and i guess none of us likes to talk in a group chat with many different ppl...we prefer one on one conversations so maybe a social network for autistic ppl with different groups that you can join that evolve around our special interests would be a good idea...that way it would be much easier to find ppl that we can start talking with cause we already know which things they like and because we like these things too we can talk about these special interests with others
Many autistic people feel lonely but does it automatically mean that they want to change it? I was in love with a person who is very likely to be autistic and though we both definitely felt very happy at many moments being with each other, all of their actions were all in all demonstrating that their singleness and loneliness are something more important and favourable than our communication ( which led to break up, as I never felt that our relationship was a priority (though it was somehow really important for them as they stated it... anyhow not the priority in terms of a possibility either to work on it to develop or just to return to their loneliness ((
one of the only reasons i feel lonely is bacause i ant be my self anywhere unless im alone and masking drains me everyday so the only time i dont need to is wen im alone . in school i get bullyed alot for haveing asd level 2 and even my cares judge me for the way i walk talk ect and its not nice
I appreciate you trying to bring some community together! What parhaps a discord server? But having a very huge group of individuals is going to need some volunteer moderators to keep things in check.
My name is also Dan, level 1 ASD, and ADHD... I find myself lonely and not lonely at the same time. It's weird. I don't think I get lonely like NT people, but I feel like social interaction would be nice, but I failed that it all my life. The harder I try doesn't matter. So I don't miss that. No one to have to constantly try to please.. I don't miss that either.
Wow again Dan. I spend all my winter, ALL the holidays alone in my house. No one even calls. I don't know how to communicate with ppl at all. I am rejected as if I am crazy. I have no idea what I am doing wrong or, saying that is so off? The pandemic made it worse, but I am still always alone every holiday, and my birthday. If not for my dog, I would be talking to the walls. People don't understand, and would rather just think you are crazy. Thank you Dan. If there was something here? I am on the other side of the pond. That would be a wonderful thing to be a part of, even if only online where if I said something nutty, ppl would get it.
I'd love to know more people.
Discord maybe? I get lonely, but I also need a lot of alone time so it's hard to balance that. I work from home too and am pretty much totally isolated besides my family. Sometimes I love being alone and it feels amazing, but sometimes I realize I have no real friends and it makes me a little sad. I had friends but we all drifted apart and I have even reached out to some of them but it just seems like no one is interested in me or being my friend anymore. Which is fine because I didn't know I was autistic when I had these friends and looking back I think they didn't have me as high up on their list of people as I had them. I work at a remote office and we have a chat room, but even when I start a conversation in there it seems like no one really wants to talk to me.
Though I value my alone time, sometimes loneliness can be crushing, as I learned during the pandemic.
The only reason i really leave the house us to go to work, i was a key worker so I had no choice.
Autistic, and yes im lonely but ive made peace with it. I basically treat it as a minor set back and just keep pushing forward. Had some friends, couldnt keep up with them if I wanted though so its just been a drift for close to 3 years. I do talk to my cat though so im not totally alone...
same
Yep
I have an update: I’m not autistic though but I have complex PTSD and I feel worse than this I feel like everyone dislikes me. Doing my best to live positively
Have you ever tried EMDR therapy? It has work tremendously well for me dealing with past trauma. Doesn’t erase the memories, but changes how you feel about them when you do recall them.
Thankfully, I have one close best friend who understands me, and I am close to my family too. However, what makes me feel lonely is the fact that my family doesn't understand me most of the time. I educate them relentlessly about my autistic traits, and sometimes I get invalidated (when they say that "everybody has those problems sometimes", and then they become surprised, and even complain (get frustrated), because they can't understand why "I can't even handle this or that". And I have also learned that the average person will only desire to respect you if you get angry at them every so often. Because I am not an angry person (and since I actually don't like myself after I get angry at somebody), I have to distance myself so that I can protect my calm and peaceful bubble. And when I take a look around, it really seems like I experience a little more happiness (and less anguish) than the average typical person, simply because I don't regularly surround myself (or tolerate) toxic people. I literally feel like my life is threatened whenever I meet someone who tries really hard to break me (there are way too many people who don't like to see other people happy, and that really concerns me). I don't know how so many people thrive off of drama; it's like they need a little bit of drama in order to feel some adrenaline, so that they feel alive. It makes me feel like I can't relate to 90% of people in the world, and don't trust people enough to make new friends 💔⛓️.
Not at all. This is a discussion I had at different times with my therapist. I don't feel lonely even when I am. It's difficult to express without sounding arrogant or "full of myself', but I know how to enjoy my own company and how to have fun by myself and those times are so fulfilling. I wish more people could have that experience. But I understand how it can be different to everyone.
I'm Asperger's ADHD. Level 1 Autism, whatever one calls it now. I digress
I live Alone 😔 don't have really any friends. So my life is in Solitude. Sometimes I feel really Alone and cry 😭 wondering what's wrong with me? Why am I so different from others? I have a hard time in social gatherings it feels awkward or to bright or to loud. It's hard to sit still and not fidget. And, I dislike small talk. I'm not into what other females are into. I get along better with males. But they don't just want to be my friend and hang out, even though I'm straight. I gave up dating years ago. Until a soulmate shows up. Sometimes most time I don't feel lonely, I'm so used to being Alone. I do everything Alone. I read a lot. I don't even really watch TV. I listen to music or X I like listening to spaces, but to shy to talk. So yes. What do us Adults with Autism do?
I'd like to see a forum, so people can talk when they're ready to talk on there.
I love being alone, but when i laugh almost hysterical i suddenly feel crazy, duh... Then it hits me that there is no one i can share with especially because i cant tell a story. Im so happy i have 2 children, 1 also with autism, who listen and (try to) understand, they're my reason for everything. But when i have too much going on, im scared to leave my house or answer my phone, or even mail. Almost like i cant deal with recognition of existing by someone else.
Although i always over-share.... I usually dont post or feel "pro" enough to answer a question. I dont know what it would take for me to do, ill think of it. Thanks🎉
Oh, thank you! I would love such an online community. I’m in my 60s and retired. I’ve got a wonderful, supportive husband (of 40+ years) and an awesome son (35 yo), and 2 fur babies (under 2 yo). But it’s overwhelming to leave the house anymore. And I live in a tiny town surrounded by trees! These autism videos help so much.
I'm lonely but I can't be around people and things I used to in order not to be lonely
Lonely definitely ..even in a crowded room.I would love to meet up be it virtual or in real life but it just seems so difficult that I give up. Between GDPR and safeguarding rules it seems impossible to make safe contact with anyone these days. I live in an isolated rural area which is bliss as an autistic in many ways but makes socialising even more unlikely...
I think you have created something good here!
I still would rather be alone most of the time than have to face forced encounters. I value my aloneness more than interactions.
How do you feel when you are in a social situation?
I try to roll with beng with people for a while, but need to leave in a short amount of time. Always seeking my solitude.
My son is in the spectrum and even that I've been not diagnosed, I'm pretty sure I live in that neighborhood as well. It could be awesome to have a forum or a chat, but with whatsapp or discord I think that there could be some discussions that may be lost in time if you are not a frequent user, and with a forum you could browse by interests and even have a chat within the forum with people you like. My son and I love to be peacefully enjoy our quiet company yet with some distance, or sometimes he on top of me while we listen some music. Other than that I am not very social and lately social interactions overwhelm. Yet I crave social interactions, but to have meaningful interactions, talk about my passions and listen to others talking about what makes them truly happy. It is really hard...
I hope everybody that may feel lonely could find someone to chat or have a good time once in a while. Greetings from Mexico!
I love your idea to try to bring people together. Even at my place of worship, I'm completely alone.
Dan, you have great ideas. I think the safety considerations need thinking about though. I am a long term subscriber right from beginning but recently had to change accounts and resubscribe. I am parent to five autistic kids and also autistic myself and ten years ago someone claiming to be autistic contacted me on a forum. We kept in touch and I relied heavily on that person in the pandemic. He was exposed as a paedophile last year November and I lost access and custody of my kids for nearly a year while the police investigated me to see if I was an enabler. I had no idea. I do not even know this persons real name yet he knows everything about me and my family, I have access to my kids back now but I really don’t want anyone else to go through something like this because it truly is horrendous
I am all down for the idea of the community
I like your idea to explore ways to facilitate real-life connections. I think there are a lot of online resources but that only goes so far.
Yes even though I’m married (living in separate houses) I am lonely. My one and only best friend passed away and my four children do not live close. I have no idea how to purposely make a friend. I’m working on it. I work and now with a struggle going to church.
Autistic loneliness will take me out, years before carbohydrates and lack of exercise, lol
Hi, I am a big fan of "Aspie word". I am don't have ASD however, my 3 years old son is on spectrum and as I don't know many autistic people, I learn a lot from your channel.
It's a dilemma, I don't often feel comfortable with other people, much of it is I feel obliged/expected to. Fortunately I can eventually go home, to be alone. The best part of socialising for me is going home, not the actual socialising.
I find myself wishing the time to speed up so i can be alone, it's a relief when the other person decides to call it a night.
I'm lonely and sometimes trying to be social is very awkward especially when I'm really emotional so I've been feeling like that lately and I'm not happy about it but but I would like to make friends and I'd like to be more socially accepted
My loneliness is so horrible. It's unbearable. I wish I didn't have to live through all this. I am single. I hate trying to present myself in a certain way.
I have kitties, so I don’t feel lonely. When they are gone, I probably will feel very lonely. I loved the COVID restrictions, I only disliked not being able to able to go to restaurants. I have contacts online, that’s more than enough for me.
I am a member of several autism facebook groups, and I still feel lonely. I simply have grown up, I am not 51, with no friends and no close family. My sister has started getting close to me but its an odd relationship. I do not know how to make friends. I am extraordinarily shy and introverted (are those the same??) and ya I just do not know what to do...
I love how you say peace at the end of your videos.
Groups set up on Discord? I think this is something I have been feeling I need. The timing. ✨️
Think the worst is feeling so alone amidst people ….
Are there lawyers who help autistic people. A local private animal "rescue" organization took all my animals claiming I wasn't taking good care of them and then went on local TV and said I was crazy. They threatened to put me in jail if I contested it. They didn't file charges so I couldn't get a lawyer. I lost all my few friends I had, my neighbors all believe it and hate me.
Thank you for this channel...this channel really helps me outstand the life I have been living
Yeah I think you should do this Dan and I think Facebook would a good place to put this community chat for all people who are neurodivergent. Because there is a lot of us out there who are extremely lonely. And I found in the neurotypical world it’s hard to express how we feel or what’s wrong with us as they don’t understand and I believe we should all have a place where we can come and share our experiences without judgement. And I also believe it should be free and or maybe make a small donation as a lot people may not able to afford paying to join the group. Anyway if you like this idea let me know.
Screw relationships
Does autism necessarily mean you become lonely? Or that it's you, why you're lonely? Is it an automatic cause, as opposed to being neurotypical?
There’s loads of online options but I won’t use them cos it makes me feel more lonely cos it’s so removed to type and talk through a screen and the social awkwardness of speaking in a group with strangers even if they are autistic… so I’d definitely go to something in person but I might not want to use anything online unless maybe if it’s like a tinder or bumble that matches u with people with similar interests in your area that could be cool
Akon wrote and sung the perfect song. Mr lonely. One of his songs I relate to
i actually think about sth like facebook would be better than a group chat since we guys tend to be introverted and i guess none of us likes to talk in a group chat with many different ppl...we prefer one on one conversations so maybe a social network for autistic ppl with different groups that you can join that evolve around our special interests would be a good idea...that way it would be much easier to find ppl that we can start talking with cause we already know which things they like and because we like these things too we can talk about these special interests with others
Many autistic people feel lonely but does it automatically mean that they want to change it? I was in love with a person who is very likely to be autistic and though we both definitely felt very happy at many moments being with each other, all of their actions were all in all demonstrating that their singleness and loneliness are something more important and favourable than our communication ( which led to break up, as I never felt that our relationship was a priority (though it was somehow really important for them as they stated it... anyhow not the priority in terms of a possibility either to work on it to develop or just to return to their loneliness ((
I have Ashburger syndrome it is very Lonely
I don't remember ever feeling lonely. But maybe there's just something wrong with my emotions.
Great idea.
Dan, I think one important factor to work in may be common special interests.
I think there should be a Discord server personally!
Autistic but not lonely
one of the only reasons i feel lonely is bacause i ant be my self anywhere unless im alone and masking drains me everyday so the only time i dont need to is wen im alone . in school i get bullyed alot for haveing asd level 2 and even my cares judge me for the way i walk talk ect and its not nice
I appreciate you trying to bring some community together!
What parhaps a discord server? But having a very huge group of individuals is going to need some volunteer moderators to keep things in check.
Discord definitely
Yes, I’m lonely. Social interaction is a no go for me.
What about Zoom?
I liked having pen pals growing up.
"Autism and Loneliness: Are You Lonely?"
Yes, most definitely.
I'm alone all the time but not lonely
The platform should be a farm with trains and pinwheels. No normies allowed.
😂🎉 LIKE YES 😂!!!!
Some of us are wolves and some of us are otters 🎨 🦦
A Telegram group could be cool
What’s apppp that be so much fun
Created a Discord server.