Final story: OP majorly dodged a bullet. Worst thing is though, I bet the ex will never know that OP simply had a reasonable conversation with his parents and they came to an understanding, instead she'll act like the smug Karen where the manager pretends to fire the person she was screaming at and think she "won".
I kinda wish hed text her. Either angrily or calmly abt the fact that what she did eas not f*ckin okay. Shes within her rights to no longer want a relarionship but not to air out peoples sexual history to their PARENTS how would she like it if the guy aired all sorts of dirty stuff that shes done in the bedroom like i dunno. If she uses tht daddy term *eyeroll* ugh shes awful and he deserves better.
@@aidenflame1576 From 2nd hand personal experience, I witnessed that not being a good idea. That CAN, doesn't mean it will, motivate the ex to do something else to feel vindicated. It might be better to let them believing they won and walk away from a fruitless battle without a scratch.
The last story was baffeling to me. The only thing my mom would say would be 'did you wear protection and did you have fun'. why do people have problems with the relations and sexual behavior prior to meeting and having a relationship.
That girl in the panic attack story was so, so sweet. She was so kind and supportive of OP in a time of need. She gave him a chance to say things he never could've before, and did not judge him at all when it got to him.
Prostitutes are very often like that and it is a big part of their job. What people miss the most from a partner is being able to talk freely and receiving tenderness, rather than straight sex. I think they do a much better job than shrinks.
S1: Op didn’t f’up. She planned to continue using him since he paid for all the meals she ordered for her and her mom. He was going to be her meal ticket. That’s why she was laying it on super thick regarding her “feelings” for op. This is also the reason she was pissed when op said thanks, but no thanks and lets just be friends. I’m proud of op for not taking the bait.
This comment nails it. OP, you dodged a bullet, and if I were you I wouldn't even want to be friends with somebody that entitled and rude. Be glad that she showed her true colors in the first date and not the 50th.
fact she saw OP as free meal like alot women like her see guys as free meal and buy alot food and then expect the guy pay for the whole meal and they will ignore your text message and call and never hit you up till she hungry and want go out to eat OP dodge a bully
It makes me sad that it's so common for guys to just bottle everything up, I've seen it firsthand with my own boyfriend where I can see that he's dealing with things but he won't talk about them, until he does, and they're always worse than I realized He's really strong for carrying so much but I wish I could help him more I tend to bottle things up a bit too but not nearly to the extent that I've seen guys do it I wish there was more understanding around guys mental health and more ways for them to express it and get help when they need
@@starchild8822 so very true and some like myself is very strong and very devoted to fixing everything myself. We don't ever really talk abit things to much. Not because we don't care. But we don't want to burden anyone else with our bad feelings. I had so much bad mojo I basically was on the verge of totally breaking down. And finally when I got some help to process it all I'm allot more happy today. I can do what I enjoy. I have limits in place so I don't self destruct. And I've seen the very darkness that has been talked about in this story. I can relate so closely to the story. That's what happend to me I just sat there looked into emptyness wondering... Thinking... Contemplating... It was rough. Having so called friends that really also wore destructive to my well being didn't help much. I removed myself from all of them and now have way way better friend online. I have come to terms that irl friends really are hard to find that actually care about you. Have a few online I can talk to. And I'm happy with that. :) Walking out of the very deep fog was the best feeling ever :)
Apparently it’s pretty common for “women of the night” to sometimes act as therapists for the men who hire them, because there’s no one else in these men’s lives who they can open up to and mental health treatment is still stigmatized in many places.
"She struggled to believe that a virgin guy would walk away from an orgy with his virginity intact" One of the best ways to figure out if something is sexist is if you reverse rhe genders and it either is sexist or makes no sence.
I find it hard to believe anyone who wanted to participate in an orgy would still be a virgin at the end. Difference here is OP was talked into it. Wasn't his idea.
@@jasonhake5502 I mean, that's probably the _easiest_ way to self-audit our preconceived biases. Think, if a bunch of guys invited a girl to a gang bang; what are the chances of her staying willingly? This logic can also be used for racism, or religious conundrums; just switch whites for blacks/Asians/whatever, or Christians for Muslims and run the scenario by again. If a group of rogue Christians had caused an act of terrorism in 2001, would you still be blaming all Christians in the world for it? If not then you are being Islamophobic... and if so, then you're being Christianphobic, I'm sorry but there is a correct answer and that is that these huge-ass groups are not responsible for the acts of a few. -Also, I'd like to note that I am using the "royal you" here, talking to a random hypothetical reader, not OP or Jason, even though I literally tagged him.-
@@pollypockets508 I presume she assumes it is, if she's lucky, it's just a regular food intoxication, if she's unlucky, then it's salmonella and she has to take care for the rest of her life (you can't cure salmonella, only treat it as far as I'm aware)
@@pollypockets508 If you eat raw chicken and you start crapping uncontrollably, process of elimination, you probably got food poisoning. I know thats hard to accept for some people who are super thick but you really probably don't need a doctor to figure that out.
For the last story: firstly, he DIDN’T DO ANYTHING. My god that girl is insecure. And so were his parents when asking him about it! Secondly, what his ex gf did is a gross invasion of privacy, and a massive glaring red flag. OP deserves way better than her kind of scum for sure. I’m glad that OP’s parents calmed down after a while, and I hope that they kicked out his ex after a bit, because what she did was majorly uncalled for.
I mean he did kinda do something. One of the women from the orgy gave him head but he left it out of the story and told it in the comments. I do agree that what the ex did was really wrong tho.
Sometimes the ladies of the evening provides far more than a sexual service. I remember stories from when I was much younger by guys, who had picked up one of those ladies, that said in their story, it ended up as a counseling session, and that was all it was.
@@rowerewolf Was reading a story once where a guy was talking his problems over with a bartender. He told the bartender "you'd make a pretty good therapist." The bartender laughs and points with his thumb behind him to his diploma on the wall. He was a psychologist.
Gotta say. Good for OP in that last story for them to no longer be dating their ex. Their ex is pretty toxic if they reveal everything to OP's parents right after breaking things off.
Ha, it wasn't his choice. She broke up with him. And you seem incapable of putting yourself in other people's shoes, and I am leaning to you are bigotted and potentially racist, since most non- western countries would have issue with this.
Story 1: Honestly though? The first red flag is her ordering 3 meals and expecting OP to pay. I would just pay for my portion and not pay hers entirely. She can call me an AH all she wants, I'm not paying for her MOM'S food.
@@dipshiznit420honestly? Fair. If you wanna use a man for money, then you don’t get to be mad if the man wants to use you for sex. Because if you’re not gonna be a real relationship then he expects something for the money he’s paying you.
Man, I feel bad enough asking my devil-may-care dad if I can get extra queso dip when we get Mexican food. I can't imagine having the combined lack of self-awareness and complete tungsten balls to order upwards of 40 extra bucks worth of bullshit and expect my _first date_ to fork it.
So, last story, im Asexual myself so im wondering if someone else can put this in perspective for me: Whats the problem with making friends through an Orgy?? Or even not doing anything at one?? That girl was just.. well, I think she had some insecurities to work through.
Dude, I feel the same! If I were in the girl's position (albeit asexual) and already did it with him (which is already unlikely, but even more so without previous testing), and figured out I didn't get sick, I see no issue. Whether he actually participated or not doesn't matter, she already knew he wasn't a danger with STDs. What's the big deal?
It's, a big taboo to be physically involved with people you don't have deep connections, cultural, along with shane envy denial for someone how is more open, really, I'm big in monogamy and not very sensitive at all if you know what it means, so yeah that story did messed me up a bit
If her needs aren’t getting met it can cause resentment. I’m asexual and i understand that just because i am doesn’t mean that it can’t frustrate a partner that is not asexual. It’s fair for it to cause resentment if her needs aren’t being met especially when you start off with getting them met.
You can't lump all of the boomer generation in the same basket. Some of those from gen X are far more uptight about such things than the boomers are. Also depending on the age of the poster, his parents could easily be gen X depending also on their ages.
Last story- OP definitely dodged a bullet. The ex GF is a judgmental priggish gossip. A controlling, prudish tattletale. There’s only “up” from here, OP.
Second Story: Okay, I know it isn't the point of the story, but like, come on OP, how can you date an asexual then be surprised when the bedroom is dead.
I take it more like the bedroom action was okay to a certain point and then it slowly died as the bf got more comfortable. At that point a conversation needed to be had. Either the ace bf says he cannot keep up or doesn't want to keep up with OP and OP decides what to do; or OP decides she needs the same amount of intercourse as they had when starting and the bf decides if he can or cannot do that. This is just a lack of communication between both participants tbh.
@@shadenox8164 Yeah, but keep in mind that the boyfriend was asexual, which means he was purely having sex for the sake of OP not because he actually had any interest. Forcing yourself to constantly do something you have absolutely no interest or desire in doing is exhausting. So sure initially he was keeping up, but I imagine the boyfriend was not happy to be doing so hence the amount of sex decreasing over time.
Story 1 : I actually cannot comprehend how someone who has genuine feelings for someone could act like that on a date, having finally gotten the chance. Genuinely mad. Story 2 : I would feel actually cursed if someone I was in a relationship came out as Asexual, told me to sleep with someone else, I found someone, then they also started ignoring me sexually. Edit : corrected spelling of Asexual
for the first story she might be influenced by those online who have that kind of toxic mindset about dating and a man paying for everything and that even first date have to be crazily expensive. i've noticed a rise of toxic dating mindset from both women and men thanks to influencers who make their money spreading their toxic outdated ideas on dating.
If you arent fulfilled with the guy youre with, leave him for someone hes compatible with and find a guy youre compatible with. Since you arent faithful and exclusive with either of them theres no future to build and no reason for either of them to focus attention on you.
I would like to start a petition to rename tifu to ttifu for that time I effed up. That seems to be the way most people use this subreddit instead of immediately going to read it to post their mess up story.
I would like them to at least add an iteration of the rule that /nosleep uses: Write the story as though it happened today, even if it didn't. There's really no need for all the pretense of when the story happened anyway.
@@runamolumatta2542 well, it could matter if they are referring to spilling coffee on a Mainframe or something like that which wouldn't necessarily happen today. LOL
Yeah i agree, should have separate categories, because it's interesting to separate shit they could actually have changed because of reddit from stuff that didn't had reddit participation
On a side note: Giving a pristitute a load of personal information is a very, very bad idea. Identity theft is real and easy to do with enough personal info. In this case it's possible she saw in him that he needed to purge and wanted to help, but the chance is always there that the person means harm. Just be careful.
Last story: it takes a special kind of... petty? crazy? Etc... to tell the PARENTS of your EX boyfriend (whom YOU broke up with!) that kind of thing... I am not condemning the orgy, or who OP is friends with, of course! I am condemning the ex girlfriend for making public ANYTHING that personal without OP's consent!
Seriously when I date someone, guy or girl, I wanna have like a pow-wow where it's like "I'll pay for my stuff and you pay for your stuff, I want to spend time with you so let's not make it awkward with expectations when it comes to the bill" specifically to avoid scenarios like the first story... If she just wasn't so damn greedy and entitled, that relationship she was apparently incredibly happy to start might be something really special, but instead her selfishness made him lose all interest in her (as it should, in my opinion).
@@PaladinGear15 Honestly, that seems pretty valid. What's better is what you said originally; pay your own bill unless it's discussed otherwise. Idk why she would assume THREE meals is okay on a first date, especially expecting your date to pay lol... She's delusional. He's better off.
The last story, well, I'm probably going to say something too controversial, but I think that the only person in the wrong was the ex girlfriend, not only did she overreact to OP's confession, but she never let him finnish telling her and then escalated everything on her own, also, I can't shake the feeling that she's probably someone with a really closed mind, your boyfriend was in an orgy and decided to tell you, so what? It would be wrong if he hadn't told you and kept having orgy with his friends like that, anyways, it's just my personal opinion
Well, from her perspective, she may have been getting him help. Orgy's aren't the norm and I would put it on the sexual deviancy list. She is also tattling on him, but from her perspective it probably deeply shook her world and this was the solution she thought of. I don't really fault the girlfriend as the parents came around.
Last Story: I thought what OP’s ex did was pretty damn scummy. I understand feeling uncomfortable or unsure about how OP met his friends, but if she would’ve just listened to her partner, she would’ve learned that these were just a group of consenting adults who understood and respected OP’s decision not to join. They didn’t pressure, shame or force OP into anything and that to me makes them respectful people. People are allowed to change their minds. Instead, the ex basically called OP a liar and tried to sabotage his relationship with his parents by “exposing” him ... for being openly honest and literally doing nothing. - Though, his parents may have taken the bait, at LEAST they took the time to LISTEN to their son and change their negative insight of his friend group. You know, discussing things like adults. Talk about being insecure and having a serious lack of trust! Also really craving lasagna right about now.
I'm tired of people not informing others of why things didn't work out. In my mind, that while it's uncomfortable, telling the truth is best for everyone in the long run. It's better to know your mistake right away, so you can avoid making the mistake in the future. I'd much rather know I'm wrong right away, than live my life being wrong and not knowing how I'm wrong. Edit: not sure if you'll read this Rslash. While I appreciate the "deeper deeper" joke, it really shows how little society cares about men's mental health. OP told a story about breaking down after talking about his experiences and the first response is to make fun of him for opening up.
People aren't mind readers. I always tell everyone if I do something wrong they need to tell me so I know and can actually address it and not repeat that mistake
Rslash is part of my get ready for work routine and I don't normally work on Sundays but I am today and I can still watch rslash because he posts every single day. Much appreciation. 😁
Second story: as an ace myself, OP sounds terrible for her boyfriend, He's doing his best to accommodate her sexuality, and her response is to be angry that he doesn't sex, op's boyfriend should leave, clearly they aren't good for each other. Obviously this is only one part of their relationship but I wouldn't be surprised if she's like this elsewhere
I WAS SEARCHING FOR A COMMENT LIKE THIS! It deadass confused me, like why be in a relationship with someone who’s asexual and then be frustrated that sex isn’t a priority to them?? Makes no sense to me tbh
This is why I’m so open about being ace with my partners. I’m still confused on if I’m greyace or not(atm im using rat ace) but if someone is expecting me to be sexual thats a nope. One of the reasons i fell so hard for one of my exes was even before we dated he knew I was ace and after a movie night with a bunch of friends he messaged me “hey im sorry i didnt know that movie had a bunch of sexual jokes, i know youre ace were you okay with it??? I dont want you feeling uncomfortable” I was okay with the movie and explained more about myself and he listened so intently. We ended up dating soon after. Only lasted around 2 weeks but we’re still good friends! We just both had relationship trauma we need to work through and are better as close friends:)
@@Astrolionking Did you miss the part where the amount was actually fine and then it changed? You're acting like an asexual didn't also choose to date an allosexual.
"Raw fish, people can survive it. Under-cooked meat, you can cook it more it's like not going to kill you, but fucking raw chicken will fucking kill you." Jonathon Scallion, Hell's Kitchen contestant from Season 11
Last Story - Wow. You know that if the shoe was on the other foot, she'd call him controlling and abusive and hOw DaRe YoU tElL mE wHaT I cAn Do WiTh My BoDy And Reddit would 100% have her back.
Being asexual means someone doesn’t feel sexual attraction, but it is a spectrum. So there are some instances where someone who identifies on the asexual spectrum can have sexual encounters. (Demisexual, gray aces, sex positive or sex indifferent asexual) What’s likely is what the partner wanted, and what the OP wanted was not what they originally agreed on, and the partner got frustrated. Or it could have been like me. My first relationship I was questioning (demisexual) however my ex wanted sex everytime we met up, and it started feeling like a chore, and it felt like we couldn’t have any more casual dates. I would have been fine with it occasionally. When I asked if we could take a break from the sex, they broke up with me in a week. My partner had a crazy libido. I think it didn’t help that birth control messed with the little sex drive I did have. So if you do end up on a date with someone who identifies as asexual, you have to be crystal clear with boundaries, frequency and nature of your relationships.
This. I don't mind sex but I could live my whole life without it (and yeah hormonal BC messes up my sex drive, that and I have kinks my partners don't share) There's a million things I'd rather do with the time I spend with my partners.
@@soogymoogi agreed. I haven’t done the nasty with a person in almost 10 years, but I indulge privately, and with the right circumstances, I could tango. We just have different objectives with the whole sleeping together situation.
Frankly, parts of the story sounded like she was trying to "fix" him rather than just accept his asexuality. Unfortunately it seems a lot of people get into relationships with asexual people thinking this way, it's like the evolution of "you just haven't found the right person yet".
As someone who is ace for me I'm ok with doing sexual stuff with those only I feel close to and feel like they won't hurt me but sometimes even then I just don't want it I just want to be a wholesome needy guy. But I was still finding out my sexuality and what makes me well me. But my last ex was a lying manipulating cruel and very double standarded narcissist so my ace feelings have really shown.
If it was a dream come true than why did she take advantage of his kindness and use him for free meal(S). I can’t stand women like her, why do they think this is ok?????
Most can't stand women like her. It's no surprise that she sounds very inexperienced when it comes to dating. I would think her awful personality and weird entitlements are probably very off-putting.
1:38 Get up, walk out, let her pay. She wanna be a mooch, she can wash some dishes and talk to the cops about her dinner. If you REALLY want to be the nice guy, get the manager as you leave and give them the money for YOUR MEAL, and ONLY YOUR MEAL. Personally...I would have bashed her face in for some dumb shit like that.
2nd story: I get that this story is focused on the Minecraft part, but is nobody going to address that OP went into the relationship with her boyfriend, KNOWING he is Asexual (which for those who don't know is someone who experiences little to no sexual attraction, and therefore has sex rarely/doesn't have sex) and she said she RESENTED him for it? That boyfriend needs to run, not walk, away from her because even if he was understanding and opened the relationship, that was still disrespectful as hell of her.
That's assuming she did know. He might not have even known then. But even if she did, being ace doesn't mean you don't or rarely have sex. You don't need sexual attraction to experience sexual arousal or to have sex, and a lot of ace people love sex. And it seems like they were having somewhat regular sex in the beginning and it lessened over time. A drastic change is bound to cause negative feelings for most people.
@@KattoTang She established at the start of the story that he was ace and with how she worded it, it seemed that they both knew. Plus, assuming they had healthy communication and such, he would've told her beforehand. And you're right about a lot of Ace people having sex, I should've worded what I said better. Plenty of Ace people do have sex, it's just that generally a lack of sexual attraction leads to a lack of sex. But, it still seemed like she wasn't understanding of his asexuality from how the story was told, and while yes a drastic change can cause negative feelings, she chose to just run with those negative feelings rather than talk them out (this is just an assumption based on the story telling, I could be wrong).
@@Canada-w1e I mean, it seems they did talk it out though, because I would assume that a talk is required for opening a relationship. All she did was acknowledge that she had those feelings, doesn't mean she took it out on him or didn't talk about it. She should definitely be more clear with her boyfriend though. I mean, she has this second partner who seemingly is allosexual, and she talks about dropping hints...why not just straight-up be like "Hey, wanna bang?" I know people like when it happens more organically, but sometimes you just gotta ask outright!
Re the orgy story - unless I misheard something, OP was invited to an orgy, but never participated. So, even though the rest of the story keeps saying he was involved, he wasn't. SO what's the issue? Further, he dodged a bullet by losing that girlfriend who judged him on something that NEVER HAPPENED.
2nd story: Is she actually surprised that he Isn't having sex with her even though that's literally the point of being ace? You don't have any sexual feelings for people some might do it just to make their partner happy but it makes sense that they'll be less interested. I'm dating someone that's ace so obviously things are off limit and we have boundaries
I do not understand why OP thought he needed to tell his girlfriend that he was in an orgy befor meating his friends. It's not like they were going to ask if she/they wanted to join them in an orgy.
That last story reads like a "Dear Penthouse" letter 😅 except the bit where he left the organization as a virgin lol His parents just seemed concerned to me. Op definitely dodged a bullet
Salmonella: I'm reminded of the first True Grit when the girl tells John Wayne, "I would not put a thief in my mouth to steal my brains." I don't want to make a blanket statement for everyone but in OP's personal case I think weed is bad for her and she should avoid it.
Last story The orgy: Bullet dodged OP'S EX going behind his back that's low. The update was awesome and wholesome, good parents, however you did Fuck up. I bet we're going to get an update saying, " My parents had an orgy with my friends"
Dabney I don't know what it is about your voice but something about the way you read stories is just so satisfying. Thank you for all your amazing content.
Imo, if you’re going to be with someone long-term and you’re planning to have sex with them, it’s only fitting that you talk about past sexual history and get on the same page with the other person re: things like testing, accidental pregnancy, etc. The fact that you participated in an orgy, even if you ultimately did not have sex with anyone there, is a relevant detail. So setting the whole “this is how I met my friends” thing aside, OP failed to disclose that info early on, so I don’t blame the ex for being shocked when he told her.
@@DanielGonzalez-qk6sd If he didn't have sex, its not part of his sexual history now is it? He also decided it wasn't for him, so why would he bring it up when discussing expectations? People really reaching on this one.
Ok, Second story... As someone on the Ace spectrum, OP makes me mad! If they don't want sex, they don't want sex. They're not sexually attracted to anyone, but that doesn't give you the excuse to get angry at them! If you can't accept that they don't feel sexual attraction, and don't want sex, then don't date them! I know you both decided to open the relationship, but that still doesn't excuse you for not accepting a, seemingly big part of your partner.
I mean from what I understood the BF did engage at a certain level and OP was fine with that. What seemed to happen is as they got deeper into the relationship he got more comfortable and either did not want to engage in s*x as much or could not. At that point, if he cannot engage in it then he should tell her so she can decide what to do. If he isnt engaging because he does not want to do so then that is sorta his issue. Same said for OP. If she cannot handle a lack of intercourse she should of left. Ultimately, this is not just on OP. The ace boyfriend could of opened the communication at any point to explain his desire to not engage in sex as much as before and OP coulda done the same. This is just two people failing at communication on something that is essential (since it matters to OP) for a healthy relationship
Her needing a certain level of physical intimacy is also a part of her. A part that he was initially happy to keep up with. She is allowed to be annoyed too. If you can't accept your partner needs a certain amount of physical intimacy do not date them. They are both responsible in this.
“I found no it hard to believe that someone who’s never had sex would pass up group sex.” Virgins aren’t deviants dude and most people want their first time to be with someone they care about.
I burst out into laughter imagining some guy, high as a kite, beating a chicken flat with a frying pan because "it doesn't sufficiently look like a steak"
Salmonella story is so baffling can someone please tell them they need to watch their dosage "I slept for 16 hours after eating 2 of my brownies" CUZ UR NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE THAT MANY UNLESS UR USED TO IT
7:56 OP needs to rest it off while breathing, take it in, and think before jumping out. He opened up without a thought, and now thoughts are rushing fast, after meeting someone. She saw something from him that he wasn't sure he had, and OP acted as if what he was doing was naturally right for him, IMO. I hope he gathers himself before running away.
For the story about OP on a date if your already good friends then you should each pay for your own food. I'd pay for everything if i have to "beg" the other person to date me. Idk how to describe what i mena by "beg" but like of the other person needs just a bit of coaxing to give it a try. Like a shy person being scared of the idea.
It's a good thing that the guy who hired the sex workers talked about his trauma. When it comes to trauma, panic attacks are your body's way of releasing that pent up energy in the body. The body always remembers trauma and it's important to release it, and sometimes, it manifests as a panic attack.
Prorevenge for the last story, op could tell his ex-girlfriend parents that she's no longer a Virgin and their past Sexipades. Since she thinks it's okay to share private information with his parents. (With her mentality, there's a good chance her parents are very strict with sex stuff)
second story: OP is not entitled to sex and its kind of weird how that seems like the only thing they care about. You cant complain when people dont wanna have sex with you, you suck it up and deal with it yourself
The whole relationship with the boyfriend is pretty much just for sex. Obviously she isn't entitled to it, but you can imagine she's a bit annoyed. She's allowed to rant, that's what Reddit is for haha.
Story 4: I have a similar bad cooking while stoned story. I threw my pizza in the oven, laid down for a few minutes, and woke up I think an hour later. I was smelling something oh so delicious as I was waking up, I thought to myself "oh that smells so damn goo" and upon realization, I finish my thought by yelling "OH SHIT, THE PIZZA" and rushed to the oven to turn it off and slowly opened the oven. Smoke came out and after clearing it, I looked in the oven to discover the burnt hockey puck of my demise, took it out of the oven, swallowed my pride and ate it. Overall the burnt cheese taste was not all bad, and the sauce was ok, but I have a constant taste of eating a piece of charcoal in my mouth now. TLDR, I almost set my apartment, along with 5 others on fire. Just turn on an air fryer and throw some chicken nuggets in there people, it's already preset to cook for only its intended time set.
8:00 - Honestly, from what I know of sex workers, this is not uncommon. There are many times that they are intimate with you in the emotional way, not the physical. Whatever you need, they are willing to provide.
Stories where a relationship is ‘opened’ for the express purpose of one party getting the sex they want really makes me think about the pretty lies we tell ourselves about love. Apparently, what really matters in a relationship is getting your leg over.
If this is about first story, as someone who is mostly asexual myself if my partner needed to see someone to get that desire filled I’d let them. Especially since the guys became friends and got along- I think that was a healthy way to do it! Maybe I’m also a bit skewed here because I’m ambiamorous(i can be both monogamous and polyamorous), but I think that was great on them!
The last story, that ex is a friggin ahole! Not only who tells someone's *PARENTS* something like that, but she full on didn't believe him because of a preconceived notion she developed about all men based around a super toxic stereotype! If I was with someone who told me what OP did her, I'd absolutely, 100% believe him... Because he's my boyfriend and trust and communication are important; not to mention I have a strict "what you did before _us_ has nothing to do with me" policy and although I do absolutely love hearing about what happened to shape my partner, I would never use such a thing to then judge him. Even if I had something I felt uncomfortable with, so long as it's not something that could put out lived or the lives of others in danger, I wouldn't treat it as a dumpable offense; if I genuinely love this person, I accept their decisions because they made him who he is. Again though, I draw the line say unrepentant harm. If he were to cause someone genuine harm, and not atone for such thing with clear remorse, i wouldn't hesitate. I've been in too many abusive relationships where I thought the person had repented to waste my time on someone clearly sadistic. (By repent, I don't mean in an even remotely religious way lol. I simply mean said person would have needed to make up for their terrible behaviour in some way or another. I hope this makes sense, I am still a little sleepy.
Salmonella story - 😂😂😂😂😂 I’m all for legalizing marijuana, but anyone that says it’s harmless is full of sh*t.... except for OP, his weed helped him with that.
About the chicken story, its actually so unlucky that OP ended up deep in the shits from that. CDC estimates chicken from the grocery store has like a 4% chance of having salmonella. And then there's that dumbass that eats nothing but raw meat (esp raw chicken) and always lucks out. Huge L
Story 1: I feel like she was going to lead him on, her behavior at the lunch warns me it's one of "those" girls, you know the parasites that bring nothing to the relationship, yet try to suck you as dry as possible. I remember some girls posting about how they can get free meals by casually dating. I mean if she liked him so much, why did she wait so long and why did she pull this stunt?
11:07 I don’t believe either of those are correct based on the many other videos doing this? I could be wrong but I don’t think trans videos are at the top. And so far there aren’t any transphobic bills in the US. Hate crimes? I don’t think they’ll even go away In Any country
Final story: ok, if you aren’t comfortable with orgies that is fine. I don’t understand why that would make your dump your bf since it seems he agrees with you and wasn’t comfortable there but whatever, your choice. However, that doesn’t give you the right to shame people or try to ruin their lives by going to their parents. That just makes you a bad person.
Since that last op's ex likes to share information with parents he should share past sexual deeds with her parents since she doesn't believe in privacy.
Story 2: As someone who is also asexual, Op screwed up the moment they opened the relationship. A lot of asexual people are just not interested in it and that should have been something to expect the moment you found out, and the moment it became a problem for you, then you should have _left,_ not open the relationship then get upset when he _still_ wasn't sleeping with you. In his eyes, he likely genuinely believes that you found some way to get what you want while still respecting him being ace rather than force him to do it when he doesn't want to, meanwhile you're sitting here giving _hints_ but not actually _saying anything._
I'm aro ace and this woman genuinely confused me, did she think seeing her with another man would "awaken" his sexual urges or something? That she could convince an ace who is already making it very clear he's not interested in sex at all to have a threesome? She seemed supportive at first but as the story went on she started sounding like one of those people who say they support but doesn't actually think asexuality is real, you just have some hang ups to get over, that it can be "fixed".
EXACTLY! Like what a doofus??? What was she THINKING? Literally like what did she expect, dating an asexual. Like what do you think that means, lady? Like if you want sex, go find someone who isn't asexual. And honestly, I kinda hope her boyfriend is biromantic, cus I wanna see an ending where he and the partner ride off into the sunset playing Minecraft together. Edit to add: I'm ace too
@@RiveroftheWitherthe person she's disappointed in not having sex with is not ace. Her partner is ace, the guy she's dating is not. He is now addicted to Minecraft and isn't interested in sex anymore due to wanting to continue playing Minecraft. So now she's upset because she had the sex she desired from her boyfriend without pressuring her ace partner also disappear.
I don't think having an open relationship while your primary partner is ace is generally a bad thing - but OP not discussing it with her partner before the sex became infrequent was a huge mistake. Even as someone who's generally cool with sex and wouldn't consider myself full-on ace (probably somewhere on that spectrum though) when I get time with my partners there's just a million things I'd rather do lol
She's upset because her sex boyfriend no longer wants to have sex. She is fine with her ace boyfriend not wanting sex, she doesn't expect it. I mean having your partner and your boyfriend both abandon you for Minecraft is kind of funny though.
If a woman did that to me, I would rescind my offer to pay for her lunch, ask them to bill me for mines and bill her for the other three plates and then leave. If she has no money- tough, they can call the police for all I care major red flag, taking advantage right from the start, so entitled. If I drove, she can walk home, assuming that she isn't leaving in a police car! Even the, "I just had lunch before I left" thing is a cheek! I invite you to lunch with me, you know I'm looking forward to eating with you and you filled up before we got here? Now you want me to pay for you and your mum too? Nah, you can deal with it! Do not ask for another date, I will be sure to warn everyone of what you are like!
Final story: OP majorly dodged a bullet. Worst thing is though, I bet the ex will never know that OP simply had a reasonable conversation with his parents and they came to an understanding, instead she'll act like the smug Karen where the manager pretends to fire the person she was screaming at and think she "won".
I kinda wish hed text her. Either angrily or calmly abt the fact that what she did eas not f*ckin okay. Shes within her rights to no longer want a relarionship but not to air out peoples sexual history to their PARENTS how would she like it if the guy aired all sorts of dirty stuff that shes done in the bedroom like i dunno. If she uses tht daddy term *eyeroll* ugh shes awful and he deserves better.
He didn't dodge a bullet, he dodged a damn nuke
What she did was no different than outing a gay person to their parents.
@@aidenflame1576 From 2nd hand personal experience, I witnessed that not being a good idea. That CAN, doesn't mean it will, motivate the ex to do something else to feel vindicated. It might be better to let them believing they won and walk away from a fruitless battle without a scratch.
The last story was baffeling to me. The only thing my mom would say would be 'did you wear protection and did you have fun'. why do people have problems with the relations and sexual behavior prior to meeting and having a relationship.
That girl in the panic attack story was so, so sweet. She was so kind and supportive of OP in a time of need. She gave him a chance to say things he never could've before, and did not judge him at all when it got to him.
Prostitutes are very often like that and it is a big part of their job. What people miss the most from a partner is being able to talk freely and receiving tenderness, rather than straight sex.
I think they do a much better job than shrinks.
@jazzad if you need to trauma dump and need physical connection, yeah. But therapists help get to more of a mental closure i feel like lol
Story 3: He didn't mess up. He finally opened up and made a first step on the path of healing. It's sad that he thinks it's deserving of a TIFU.
S1: Op didn’t f’up. She planned to continue using him since he paid for all the meals she ordered for her and her mom.
He was going to be her meal ticket.
That’s why she was laying it on super thick regarding her “feelings” for op.
This is also the reason she was pissed when op said thanks, but no thanks and lets just be friends.
I’m proud of op for not taking the bait.
Interesting perspective, her whole shtick sounds extremely manipulative when you put it like that.
This comment nails it. OP, you dodged a bullet, and if I were you I wouldn't even want to be friends with somebody that entitled and rude. Be glad that she showed her true colors in the first date and not the 50th.
fact she saw OP as free meal like alot women like her see guys as free meal and buy alot food and then expect the guy pay for the whole meal and they will ignore your text message and call and never hit you up till she hungry and want go out to eat OP dodge a bully
OP is a freaking king.
Spot on! People are so manipulative when it’s not YOU they’re interested in.
Story 3: Man, I feel bad for OP, having to bottle up emotions and then spilling them later before having a panic attack.
Sadly it's true that many men to some. Degree have that issue. But yeah I feel for the op in that story. Have been through very simular things.
It makes me sad that it's so common for guys to just bottle everything up, I've seen it firsthand with my own boyfriend where I can see that he's dealing with things but he won't talk about them, until he does, and they're always worse than I realized
He's really strong for carrying so much but I wish I could help him more
I tend to bottle things up a bit too but not nearly to the extent that I've seen guys do it
I wish there was more understanding around guys mental health and more ways for them to express it and get help when they need
@@starchild8822 so very true and some like myself is very strong and very devoted to fixing everything myself. We don't ever really talk abit things to much. Not because we don't care. But we don't want to burden anyone else with our bad feelings.
I had so much bad mojo I basically was on the verge of totally breaking down. And finally when I got some help to process it all I'm allot more happy today. I can do what I enjoy. I have limits in place so I don't self destruct. And I've seen the very darkness that has been talked about in this story. I can relate so closely to the story. That's what happend to me I just sat there looked into emptyness wondering... Thinking... Contemplating... It was rough.
Having so called friends that really also wore destructive to my well being didn't help much. I removed myself from all of them and now have way way better friend online. I have come to terms that irl friends really are hard to find that actually care about you. Have a few online I can talk to. And I'm happy with that. :)
Walking out of the very deep fog was the best feeling ever :)
Apparently it’s pretty common for “women of the night” to sometimes act as therapists for the men who hire them, because there’s no one else in these men’s lives who they can open up to and mental health treatment is still stigmatized in many places.
@@GeorgeSu15story 2 was the minecraft one
"She struggled to believe that a virgin guy would walk away from an orgy with his virginity intact"
One of the best ways to figure out if something is sexist is if you reverse rhe genders and it either is sexist or makes no sence.
She's a horrible person
I find it hard to believe anyone who wanted to participate in an orgy would still be a virgin at the end. Difference here is OP was talked into it. Wasn't his idea.
That is one way to look past many of the internalized prejudices our society has implanted
@@jasonhake5502 I mean, that's probably the _easiest_ way to self-audit our preconceived biases. Think, if a bunch of guys invited a girl to a gang bang; what are the chances of her staying willingly? This logic can also be used for racism, or religious conundrums; just switch whites for blacks/Asians/whatever, or Christians for Muslims and run the scenario by again. If a group of rogue Christians had caused an act of terrorism in 2001, would you still be blaming all Christians in the world for it? If not then you are being Islamophobic... and if so, then you're being Christianphobic, I'm sorry but there is a correct answer and that is that these huge-ass groups are not responsible for the acts of a few.
-Also, I'd like to note that I am using the "royal you" here, talking to a random hypothetical reader, not OP or Jason, even though I literally tagged him.-
Yup! I find myself doing this exercise to check myself often
Today on rslash we will hear three stories about sex, one about cooking chicken higher than an jet, and a fucked up friend.
The salmonella story honestly made me gag, please people, when eating chicken, cook it well, raw chicken is always dangerous to eat
She never went to the hospital or to a doctor though so how does she know it was salmonella.
@@pollypockets508 I presume she assumes it is, if she's lucky, it's just a regular food intoxication, if she's unlucky, then it's salmonella and she has to take care for the rest of her life (you can't cure salmonella, only treat it as far as I'm aware)
It honestly pissed me if I haven’t finished yet because how can you watch Gordon Ramsey and make raw chicken….🤦🏽♀️
@@pollypockets508 If you eat raw chicken and you start crapping uncontrollably, process of elimination, you probably got food poisoning. I know thats hard to accept for some people who are super thick but you really probably don't need a doctor to figure that out.
@@argentin2306 Salmonella is an infection, not an illness. It goes away on its own after a few days for most people.
For the last story: firstly, he DIDN’T DO ANYTHING. My god that girl is insecure. And so were his parents when asking him about it! Secondly, what his ex gf did is a gross invasion of privacy, and a massive glaring red flag. OP deserves way better than her kind of scum for sure. I’m glad that OP’s parents calmed down after a while, and I hope that they kicked out his ex after a bit, because what she did was majorly uncalled for.
I mean he did kinda do something. One of the women from the orgy gave him head but he left it out of the story and told it in the comments. I do agree that what the ex did was really wrong tho.
He didn't hire a woman of the night he hired a therapist for the night
And sounds like a damned good one.
Who was probably cheaper and more effective!
Sometimes the ladies of the evening provides far more than a sexual service. I remember stories from when I was much younger by guys, who had picked up one of those ladies, that said in their story, it ended up as a counseling session, and that was all it was.
She sounded really invasive and rude to me tbh. Panic attacks don't usually come from positive talks
@@rowerewolf Was reading a story once where a guy was talking his problems over with a bartender. He told the bartender "you'd make a pretty good therapist." The bartender laughs and points with his thumb behind him to his diploma on the wall. He was a psychologist.
Gotta say. Good for OP in that last story for them to no longer be dating their ex. Their ex is pretty toxic if they reveal everything to OP's parents right after breaking things off.
Ha, it wasn't his choice. She broke up with him. And you seem incapable of putting yourself in other people's shoes, and I am leaning to you are bigotted and potentially racist, since most non- western countries would have issue with this.
Toxic, and sexist
Well he didn't really have a choice since she broke up with him, but good that he sees it was a good thing.
Story 1: Honestly though? The first red flag is her ordering 3 meals and expecting OP to pay. I would just pay for my portion and not pay hers entirely. She can call me an AH all she wants, I'm not paying for her MOM'S food.
Exactly. Tell her that you are on the date with her, not her mother.
I'd ask if her mom is gunna be putting out tonight too?
@@dipshiznit420honestly? Fair. If you wanna use a man for money, then you don’t get to be mad if the man wants to use you for sex.
Because if you’re not gonna be a real relationship then he expects something for the money he’s paying you.
Man, I feel bad enough asking my devil-may-care dad if I can get extra queso dip when we get Mexican food. I can't imagine having the combined lack of self-awareness and complete tungsten balls to order upwards of 40 extra bucks worth of bullshit and expect my _first date_ to fork it.
So, last story, im Asexual myself so im wondering if someone else can put this in perspective for me: Whats the problem with making friends through an Orgy?? Or even not doing anything at one?? That girl was just.. well, I think she had some insecurities to work through.
Dude, I feel the same! If I were in the girl's position (albeit asexual) and already did it with him (which is already unlikely, but even more so without previous testing), and figured out I didn't get sick, I see no issue. Whether he actually participated or not doesn't matter, she already knew he wasn't a danger with STDs. What's the big deal?
Some people have some weird hangups
It's, a big taboo to be physically involved with people you don't have deep connections, cultural, along with shane envy denial for someone how is more open, really, I'm big in monogamy and not very sensitive at all if you know what it means, so yeah that story did messed me up a bit
People are still so weird about sex that goes against the “norms” it’s honestly ridiculous how the ex gf reacted
I could def see insecure people being like "you saw my bf naked!" Or some stuff like that.
Salmonella story: Please tell me Gordon Ramsy was still on later and you heard “It’s fucking raw!”
3:10 No way she said it caused resentment that his drive got lower despite knowing damn well her partner was asexual.
If her needs aren’t getting met it can cause resentment. I’m asexual and i understand that just because i am doesn’t mean that it can’t frustrate a partner that is not asexual. It’s fair for it to cause resentment if her needs aren’t being met especially when you start off with getting them met.
That's reasonable? The amount changed? Like its a two way street.
Last OP is a hero, not only did he get rid of a future abuser, he also reduced the boomer level of his parents in one go.
You can't lump all of the boomer generation in the same basket. Some of those from gen X are far more uptight about such things than the boomers are. Also depending on the age of the poster, his parents could easily be gen X depending also on their ages.
@@vernonharden Dude, don't try to not all boomers this. The attitude is a boomer attitude it doesn't mean specifically that generation anymore.
@@shadenox8164, please carefully reread what I said.
Last story- OP definitely dodged a bullet. The ex GF is a judgmental priggish gossip. A controlling, prudish tattletale. There’s only “up” from here, OP.
Second Story: Okay, I know it isn't the point of the story, but like, come on OP, how can you date an asexual then be surprised when the bedroom is dead.
This!! Like OP seemed pretty upset that her boyfriend didn't have sex with her despite knowing he was asexual😭
I take it more like the bedroom action was okay to a certain point and then it slowly died as the bf got more comfortable. At that point a conversation needed to be had. Either the ace bf says he cannot keep up or doesn't want to keep up with OP and OP decides what to do; or OP decides she needs the same amount of intercourse as they had when starting and the bf decides if he can or cannot do that.
This is just a lack of communication between both participants tbh.
It sounds like initially it was fine. The amount changed.
@@shadenox8164 Yeah, but keep in mind that the boyfriend was asexual, which means he was purely having sex for the sake of OP not because he actually had any interest. Forcing yourself to constantly do something you have absolutely no interest or desire in doing is exhausting. So sure initially he was keeping up, but I imagine the boyfriend was not happy to be doing so hence the amount of sex decreasing over time.
Story 1 :
I actually cannot comprehend how someone who has genuine feelings for someone could act like that on a date, having finally gotten the chance. Genuinely mad.
Story 2 :
I would feel actually cursed if someone I was in a relationship came out as Asexual, told me to sleep with someone else, I found someone, then they also started ignoring me sexually.
Edit : corrected spelling of Asexual
I'm pretty sure she knew he was ace before they were dating.
Fyi: Asexual isn't spelled with a dash in it.
@@kdepp90 Thanks, fixed.
for the first story she might be influenced by those online who have that kind of toxic mindset about dating and a man paying for everything and that even first date have to be crazily expensive. i've noticed a rise of toxic dating mindset from both women and men thanks to influencers who make their money spreading their toxic outdated ideas on dating.
If you arent fulfilled with the guy youre with, leave him for someone hes compatible with and find a guy youre compatible with. Since you arent faithful and exclusive with either of them theres no future to build and no reason for either of them to focus attention on you.
I would like to start a petition to rename tifu to ttifu for that time I effed up. That seems to be the way most people use this subreddit instead of immediately going to read it to post their mess up story.
Seconded
I would like them to at least add an iteration of the rule that /nosleep uses: Write the story as though it happened today, even if it didn't. There's really no need for all the pretense of when the story happened anyway.
@@runamolumatta2542 well, it could matter if they are referring to spilling coffee on a Mainframe or something like that which wouldn't necessarily happen today. LOL
Yeah i agree, should have separate categories, because it's interesting to separate shit they could actually have changed because of reddit from stuff that didn't had reddit participation
Seems unnecessary to me.
On a side note: Giving a pristitute a load of personal information is a very, very bad idea. Identity theft is real and easy to do with enough personal info.
In this case it's possible she saw in him that he needed to purge and wanted to help, but the chance is always there that the person means harm. Just be careful.
Story 6: I've heard all sorts of stories about how someone met someone else. This is definitely one of the wildest ones yet.
The ex-girlfriend was a bitch for telling his parents. Also, who eats lasagna when they're sick. Lol OP handled the situation really well though
Last story: it takes a special kind of... petty? crazy? Etc... to tell the PARENTS of your EX boyfriend (whom YOU broke up with!) that kind of thing... I am not condemning the orgy, or who OP is friends with, of course! I am condemning the ex girlfriend for making public ANYTHING that personal without OP's consent!
Can confirm, overserving yourself an edible leads to 24 hours of sleep.
"I slept through 20 hours"
Oh well that's alot
"After eating only two brownies"
YOU ATE TWO WHOLE BROWNIES?
Seriously when I date someone, guy or girl, I wanna have like a pow-wow where it's like "I'll pay for my stuff and you pay for your stuff, I want to spend time with you so let's not make it awkward with expectations when it comes to the bill" specifically to avoid scenarios like the first story... If she just wasn't so damn greedy and entitled, that relationship she was apparently incredibly happy to start might be something really special, but instead her selfishness made him lose all interest in her (as it should, in my opinion).
@@PaladinGear15 Honestly, that seems pretty valid. What's better is what you said originally; pay your own bill unless it's discussed otherwise. Idk why she would assume THREE meals is okay on a first date, especially expecting your date to pay lol... She's delusional. He's better off.
The last story about op who had a orgy with some friends is that he needs to ruin his ex-girlfriend 's life with her parents and see how she likes it
Exactly. She's horrible.
The last story, well, I'm probably going to say something too controversial, but I think that the only person in the wrong was the ex girlfriend, not only did she overreact to OP's confession, but she never let him finnish telling her and then escalated everything on her own, also, I can't shake the feeling that she's probably someone with a really closed mind, your boyfriend was in an orgy and decided to tell you, so what? It would be wrong if he hadn't told you and kept having orgy with his friends like that, anyways, it's just my personal opinion
I don’t think that’s too controversial. I fully agree. I’m just happy that the parents were open minded enough to come around eventually.
OP is an adult, and his sex life is his business. I'm glad it worked out, though. He definitely dodged a bullet.
Not controversial. Agree. That story made me mad. Who does that
Wdym kept having orgys? I thought he stopped
Well, from her perspective, she may have been getting him help. Orgy's aren't the norm and I would put it on the sexual deviancy list. She is also tattling on him, but from her perspective it probably deeply shook her world and this was the solution she thought of. I don't really fault the girlfriend as the parents came around.
2nd story
“Yeah sex is cool but have you ever played Minecraft?”
Last OP definitely dodged a bullet! Honestly, the swingers I have met have been some of the most open hearted and sane people.
Last Story: I thought what OP’s ex did was pretty damn scummy. I understand feeling uncomfortable or unsure about how OP met his friends, but if she would’ve just listened to her partner, she would’ve learned that these were just a group of consenting adults who understood and respected OP’s decision not to join. They didn’t pressure, shame or force OP into anything and that to me makes them respectful people. People are allowed to change their minds.
Instead, the ex basically called OP a liar and tried to sabotage his relationship with his parents by “exposing” him ... for being openly honest and literally doing nothing. - Though, his parents may have taken the bait, at LEAST they took the time to LISTEN to their son and change their negative insight of his friend group. You know, discussing things like adults.
Talk about being insecure and having a serious lack of trust!
Also really craving lasagna right about now.
I'd let people use my room if they brought some pizza and an ounce.
I'm tired of people not informing others of why things didn't work out. In my mind, that while it's uncomfortable, telling the truth is best for everyone in the long run. It's better to know your mistake right away, so you can avoid making the mistake in the future. I'd much rather know I'm wrong right away, than live my life being wrong and not knowing how I'm wrong.
Edit: not sure if you'll read this Rslash. While I appreciate the "deeper deeper" joke, it really shows how little society cares about men's mental health. OP told a story about breaking down after talking about his experiences and the first response is to make fun of him for opening up.
People aren't mind readers. I always tell everyone if I do something wrong they need to tell me so I know and can actually address it and not repeat that mistake
Rslash is part of my get ready for work routine and I don't normally work on Sundays but I am today and I can still watch rslash because he posts every single day. Much appreciation. 😁
Second story: as an ace myself, OP sounds terrible for her boyfriend, He's doing his best to accommodate her sexuality, and her response is to be angry that he doesn't sex, op's boyfriend should leave, clearly they aren't good for each other. Obviously this is only one part of their relationship but I wouldn't be surprised if she's like this elsewhere
Right!! I’m Aceflux and OP made me SO MAD. Why date an Asexual person but then get angry at them for NOT WANTING SEX??
I WAS SEARCHING FOR A COMMENT LIKE THIS! It deadass confused me, like why be in a relationship with someone who’s asexual and then be frustrated that sex isn’t a priority to them?? Makes no sense to me tbh
This is why I’m so open about being ace with my partners. I’m still confused on if I’m greyace or not(atm im using rat ace) but if someone is expecting me to be sexual thats a nope.
One of the reasons i fell so hard for one of my exes was even before we dated he knew I was ace and after a movie night with a bunch of friends he messaged me “hey im sorry i didnt know that movie had a bunch of sexual jokes, i know youre ace were you okay with it??? I dont want you feeling uncomfortable”
I was okay with the movie and explained more about myself and he listened so intently. We ended up dating soon after. Only lasted around 2 weeks but we’re still good friends! We just both had relationship trauma we need to work through and are better as close friends:)
The amount changed, she's allowed to be annoyed by her needs not being met too. He agreed to date an allosexual as well. It goes both ways, not one.
@@Astrolionking Did you miss the part where the amount was actually fine and then it changed? You're acting like an asexual didn't also choose to date an allosexual.
2:32 Me literally playing Minecraft as I'm listening to this story
"Raw fish, people can survive it. Under-cooked meat, you can cook it more it's like not going to kill you, but fucking raw chicken will fucking kill you." Jonathon Scallion, Hell's Kitchen contestant from Season 11
Last Story - Wow. You know that if the shoe was on the other foot, she'd call him controlling and abusive and hOw DaRe YoU tElL mE wHaT I cAn Do WiTh My BoDy
And Reddit would 100% have her back.
Does Reddit not have OP’s back?!? Because they should.
Um no i wouldnt want to hang out with anyone into orgies regardless of gender.
Any evidence Reddit doesn't have his back?
Being asexual means someone doesn’t feel sexual attraction, but it is a spectrum. So there are some instances where someone who identifies on the asexual spectrum can have sexual encounters. (Demisexual, gray aces, sex positive or sex indifferent asexual) What’s likely is what the partner wanted, and what the OP wanted was not what they originally agreed on, and the partner got frustrated.
Or it could have been like me. My first relationship I was questioning (demisexual) however my ex wanted sex everytime we met up, and it started feeling like a chore, and it felt like we couldn’t have any more casual dates. I would have been fine with it occasionally. When I asked if we could take a break from the sex, they broke up with me in a week. My partner had a crazy libido. I think it didn’t help that birth control messed with the little sex drive I did have.
So if you do end up on a date with someone who identifies as asexual, you have to be crystal clear with boundaries, frequency and nature of your relationships.
This. I don't mind sex but I could live my whole life without it (and yeah hormonal BC messes up my sex drive, that and I have kinks my partners don't share) There's a million things I'd rather do with the time I spend with my partners.
@@soogymoogi agreed. I haven’t done the nasty with a person in almost 10 years, but I indulge privately, and with the right circumstances, I could tango. We just have different objectives with the whole sleeping together situation.
Frankly, parts of the story sounded like she was trying to "fix" him rather than just accept his asexuality. Unfortunately it seems a lot of people get into relationships with asexual people thinking this way, it's like the evolution of "you just haven't found the right person yet".
@@RiveroftheWither oof that’s a good point! I hate that mentality.
As someone who is ace for me I'm ok with doing sexual stuff with those only I feel close to and feel like they won't hurt me but sometimes even then I just don't want it I just want to be a wholesome needy guy. But I was still finding out my sexuality and what makes me well me. But my last ex was a lying manipulating cruel and very double standarded narcissist so my ace feelings have really shown.
If it was a dream come true than why did she take advantage of his kindness and use him for free meal(S). I can’t stand women like her, why do they think this is ok?????
It's not. It's super entitled.
Most can't stand women like her. It's no surprise that she sounds very inexperienced when it comes to dating. I would think her awful personality and weird entitlements are probably very off-putting.
🧍🏽♀️i hate PEOPLE like that
I was thinking the same thing. If she really liked him, she should have behaved better.
1:38 Get up, walk out, let her pay. She wanna be a mooch, she can wash some dishes and talk to the cops about her dinner. If you REALLY want to be the nice guy, get the manager as you leave and give them the money for YOUR MEAL, and ONLY YOUR MEAL. Personally...I would have bashed her face in for some dumb shit like that.
2nd story: I get that this story is focused on the Minecraft part, but is nobody going to address that OP went into the relationship with her boyfriend, KNOWING he is Asexual (which for those who don't know is someone who experiences little to no sexual attraction, and therefore has sex rarely/doesn't have sex) and she said she RESENTED him for it? That boyfriend needs to run, not walk, away from her because even if he was understanding and opened the relationship, that was still disrespectful as hell of her.
That's assuming she did know. He might not have even known then. But even if she did, being ace doesn't mean you don't or rarely have sex. You don't need sexual attraction to experience sexual arousal or to have sex, and a lot of ace people love sex. And it seems like they were having somewhat regular sex in the beginning and it lessened over time. A drastic change is bound to cause negative feelings for most people.
@@KattoTang She established at the start of the story that he was ace and with how she worded it, it seemed that they both knew. Plus, assuming they had healthy communication and such, he would've told her beforehand. And you're right about a lot of Ace people having sex, I should've worded what I said better. Plenty of Ace people do have sex, it's just that generally a lack of sexual attraction leads to a lack of sex. But, it still seemed like she wasn't understanding of his asexuality from how the story was told, and while yes a drastic change can cause negative feelings, she chose to just run with those negative feelings rather than talk them out (this is just an assumption based on the story telling, I could be wrong).
@@Canada-w1e I mean, it seems they did talk it out though, because I would assume that a talk is required for opening a relationship. All she did was acknowledge that she had those feelings, doesn't mean she took it out on him or didn't talk about it.
She should definitely be more clear with her boyfriend though. I mean, she has this second partner who seemingly is allosexual, and she talks about dropping hints...why not just straight-up be like "Hey, wanna bang?" I know people like when it happens more organically, but sometimes you just gotta ask outright!
@KattoTang do you know what Acesexual means? I'm Ace and I'm repulsed by sex
@@velvetdarksoul8741 I'm ace and sex repulsed too but not every asexual person is sex repulsed. You can still be ace and have sex.
12:55 at this point you can tell either the story is fake or there is far too much previous trauma to have any normal person think this is okay.
The stoned raw chicken story had me wailing "NOOO!" over and over and over all the way through it.
I can’t be the only who busted out laughing at “jerk off instructions”
That's what joi meant I didn't know that
Lolll, the Minecrafy story is the funniest TIFU story ive heard in a long time. And maybe the most wholesome open relationship fail
And tbh OP deserved to be third wheeled for knowing abt her partner being asexual but getting angry at him when he didn’t want sex
Re the orgy story - unless I misheard something, OP was invited to an orgy, but never participated. So, even though the rest of the story keeps saying he was involved, he wasn't. SO what's the issue? Further, he dodged a bullet by losing that girlfriend who judged him on something that NEVER HAPPENED.
Exgirlfriend doesn't trust him basically.
2nd story: Is she actually surprised that he Isn't having sex with her even though that's literally the point of being ace? You don't have any sexual feelings for people some might do it just to make their partner happy but it makes sense that they'll be less interested. I'm dating someone that's ace so obviously things are off limit and we have boundaries
I do not understand why OP thought he needed to tell his girlfriend that he was in an orgy befor meating his friends. It's not like they were going to ask if she/they wanted to join them in an orgy.
Honesty I guess.
A lot of men tend to pour their feelings into escorts. I’m happy OP realized he needs therapy.
The term "Emotional labour" was invented by sex workers even
First story. Not your fault man. She just blew it for herself
Orgy boy definitely dodged a bullet with that one. What a sanctimonious tattle tale. Karren in the making
I hope that everyone is having a good Sunday
I hope you are too Mr Scarlo
You to man😁
I am having a great Sunday. Just posted to RoastMe last night and woke up dead from laughing my ass off 😄
W man
You too mate!
15:38 What a feling is im the oldies section? But I just listened to that yesterday!
That last story reads like a "Dear Penthouse" letter 😅 except the bit where he left the organization as a virgin lol
His parents just seemed concerned to me.
Op definitely dodged a bullet
Thank you so much for posting more TIFU. It's my favorite thing you post, right next to Malicious Compliance.
Salmonella: I'm reminded of the first True Grit when the girl tells John Wayne, "I would not put a thief in my mouth to steal my brains." I don't want to make a blanket statement for everyone but in OP's personal case I think weed is bad for her and she should avoid it.
gonna be real, the second story made me cackle in a way i havent in a while- she got cucked twice by minecraft 😂
"Deeper! Deeper!" LMAO, good one, Dabney
12:15
Honestly I would have finished off that lesson with "Thank You For Coming". 😂
Last story The orgy: Bullet dodged OP'S EX going behind his back that's low. The update was awesome and wholesome, good parents, however you did Fuck up. I bet we're going to get an update saying, " My parents had an orgy with my friends"
Story 3: All I can think of is Gordon Ramsay shouting "IT'S RAW!"
4:12 girl you shouldn't have introduced him to the grind that's Minecraft 😂
Dabney I don't know what it is about your voice but something about the way you read stories is just so satisfying. Thank you for all your amazing content.
Imo, if you’re going to be with someone long-term and you’re planning to have sex with them, it’s only fitting that you talk about past sexual history and get on the same page with the other person re: things like testing, accidental pregnancy, etc. The fact that you participated in an orgy, even if you ultimately did not have sex with anyone there, is a relevant detail. So setting the whole “this is how I met my friends” thing aside, OP failed to disclose that info early on, so I don’t blame the ex for being shocked when he told her.
This. I dont get why people do not understand why past matters in a relationship.
@@DanielGonzalez-qk6sd If he didn't have sex, its not part of his sexual history now is it? He also decided it wasn't for him, so why would he bring it up when discussing expectations? People really reaching on this one.
Oh man 16 hours after 2 edibles yeah that sounds about right 😂 that's why I limit myself to 1 because they do make you pretty tired lol
12:07 Idk why but this joke had me bust out the loudest laugh I have ever made 😂
Ok, Second story... As someone on the Ace spectrum, OP makes me mad! If they don't want sex, they don't want sex. They're not sexually attracted to anyone, but that doesn't give you the excuse to get angry at them! If you can't accept that they don't feel sexual attraction, and don't want sex, then don't date them! I know you both decided to open the relationship, but that still doesn't excuse you for not accepting a, seemingly big part of your partner.
I mean from what I understood the BF did engage at a certain level and OP was fine with that. What seemed to happen is as they got deeper into the relationship he got more comfortable and either did not want to engage in s*x as much or could not. At that point, if he cannot engage in it then he should tell her so she can decide what to do. If he isnt engaging because he does not want to do so then that is sorta his issue. Same said for OP. If she cannot handle a lack of intercourse she should of left.
Ultimately, this is not just on OP. The ace boyfriend could of opened the communication at any point to explain his desire to not engage in sex as much as before and OP coulda done the same. This is just two people failing at communication on something that is essential (since it matters to OP) for a healthy relationship
Her needing a certain level of physical intimacy is also a part of her. A part that he was initially happy to keep up with. She is allowed to be annoyed too. If you can't accept your partner needs a certain amount of physical intimacy do not date them. They are both responsible in this.
“I found no it hard to believe that someone who’s never had sex would pass up group sex.” Virgins aren’t deviants dude and most people want their first time to be with someone they care about.
I feel like the last story's title should have been, "TIFU: I dated a prudish girl with no respect for my privacy or boundaries."
I burst out into laughter imagining some guy, high as a kite, beating a chicken flat with a frying pan because "it doesn't sufficiently look like a steak"
Salmonella story is so baffling can someone please tell them they need to watch their dosage
"I slept for 16 hours after eating 2 of my brownies" CUZ UR NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE THAT MANY UNLESS UR USED TO IT
7:56 OP needs to rest it off while breathing, take it in, and think before jumping out. He opened up without a thought, and now thoughts are rushing fast, after meeting someone. She saw something from him that he wasn't sure he had, and OP acted as if what he was doing was naturally right for him, IMO. I hope he gathers himself before running away.
For the story about OP on a date if your already good friends then you should each pay for your own food. I'd pay for everything if i have to "beg" the other person to date me.
Idk how to describe what i mena by "beg" but like of the other person needs just a bit of coaxing to give it a try. Like a shy person being scared of the idea.
I was eating when the "deeper, deeper" joke came... I almost choked laughing.
It's a good thing that the guy who hired the sex workers talked about his trauma. When it comes to trauma, panic attacks are your body's way of releasing that pent up energy in the body. The body always remembers trauma and it's important to release it, and sometimes, it manifests as a panic attack.
Prorevenge for the last story, op could tell his ex-girlfriend parents that she's no longer a Virgin and their past Sexipades. Since she thinks it's okay to share private information with his parents.
(With her mentality, there's a good chance her parents are very strict with sex stuff)
second story:
OP is not entitled to sex and its kind of weird how that seems like the only thing they care about. You cant complain when people dont wanna have sex with you, you suck it up and deal with it yourself
The whole relationship with the boyfriend is pretty much just for sex. Obviously she isn't entitled to it, but you can imagine she's a bit annoyed. She's allowed to rant, that's what Reddit is for haha.
Story 4: I have a similar bad cooking while stoned story. I threw my pizza in the oven, laid down for a few minutes, and woke up I think an hour later. I was smelling something oh so delicious as I was waking up, I thought to myself "oh that smells so damn goo" and upon realization, I finish my thought by yelling "OH SHIT, THE PIZZA" and rushed to the oven to turn it off and slowly opened the oven. Smoke came out and after clearing it, I looked in the oven to discover the burnt hockey puck of my demise, took it out of the oven, swallowed my pride and ate it. Overall the burnt cheese taste was not all bad, and the sauce was ok, but I have a constant taste of eating a piece of charcoal in my mouth now. TLDR, I almost set my apartment, along with 5 others on fire. Just turn on an air fryer and throw some chicken nuggets in there people, it's already preset to cook for only its intended time set.
8:00 - Honestly, from what I know of sex workers, this is not uncommon. There are many times that they are intimate with you in the emotional way, not the physical.
Whatever you need, they are willing to provide.
The term "emotional labour" was invented by sex workers even
Major fails of the "I vs. Me Rule" that we are taught in early elementary school.
I guess you could say op learned to use his "sticky piston" just in the wrong way XD
Yikes she’s showing you that she sees you as a meal ticket and throwing up red flags all in the first date yiiikes
Stories where a relationship is ‘opened’ for the express purpose of one party getting the sex they want really makes me think about the pretty lies we tell ourselves about love. Apparently, what really matters in a relationship is getting your leg over.
Wouldn't that mean that they consider love and sexual relations to be different?
If this is about first story, as someone who is mostly asexual myself if my partner needed to see someone to get that desire filled I’d let them. Especially since the guys became friends and got along- I think that was a healthy way to do it! Maybe I’m also a bit skewed here because I’m ambiamorous(i can be both monogamous and polyamorous), but I think that was great on them!
Minecraft made that second story way more wholesome than I thought it was going to end.
The last story, that ex is a friggin ahole! Not only who tells someone's *PARENTS* something like that, but she full on didn't believe him because of a preconceived notion she developed about all men based around a super toxic stereotype! If I was with someone who told me what OP did her, I'd absolutely, 100% believe him... Because he's my boyfriend and trust and communication are important; not to mention I have a strict "what you did before _us_ has nothing to do with me" policy and although I do absolutely love hearing about what happened to shape my partner, I would never use such a thing to then judge him. Even if I had something I felt uncomfortable with, so long as it's not something that could put out lived or the lives of others in danger, I wouldn't treat it as a dumpable offense; if I genuinely love this person, I accept their decisions because they made him who he is. Again though, I draw the line say unrepentant harm. If he were to cause someone genuine harm, and not atone for such thing with clear remorse, i wouldn't hesitate. I've been in too many abusive relationships where I thought the person had repented to waste my time on someone clearly sadistic.
(By repent, I don't mean in an even remotely religious way lol. I simply mean said person would have needed to make up for their terrible behaviour in some way or another. I hope this makes sense, I am still a little sleepy.
Salmonella story - 😂😂😂😂😂
I’m all for legalizing marijuana, but anyone that says it’s harmless is full of sh*t.... except for OP, his weed helped him with that.
This is the first time I’ve ever laughed at one of YOUR jokes. Nice work
OP in the last story dodged a bullet.
That ex gf of his was a judgmental snitch.
The divorce would've been messy.
Story 1: She's a user. Lose her.
About the chicken story, its actually so unlucky that OP ended up deep in the shits from that. CDC estimates chicken from the grocery store has like a 4% chance of having salmonella. And then there's that dumbass that eats nothing but raw meat (esp raw chicken) and always lucks out. Huge L
Thanks for posting everyday! You’re very entertaining. You make my job tolerable. Lol. Thanks again!
Story 1: I feel like she was going to lead him on, her behavior at the lunch warns me it's one of "those" girls, you know the parasites that bring nothing to the relationship, yet try to suck you as dry as possible. I remember some girls posting about how they can get free meals by casually dating. I mean if she liked him so much, why did she wait so long and why did she pull this stunt?
11:07 I don’t believe either of those are correct based on the many other videos doing this? I could be wrong but I don’t think trans videos are at the top.
And so far there aren’t any transphobic bills in the US. Hate crimes? I don’t think they’ll even go away In Any country
Final story: ok, if you aren’t comfortable with orgies that is fine. I don’t understand why that would make your dump your bf since it seems he agrees with you and wasn’t comfortable there but whatever, your choice. However, that doesn’t give you the right to shame people or try to ruin their lives by going to their parents. That just makes you a bad person.
Since that last op's ex likes to share information with parents he should share past sexual deeds with her parents since she doesn't believe in privacy.
Story 2: As someone who is also asexual, Op screwed up the moment they opened the relationship. A lot of asexual people are just not interested in it and that should have been something to expect the moment you found out, and the moment it became a problem for you, then you should have _left,_ not open the relationship then get upset when he _still_ wasn't sleeping with you. In his eyes, he likely genuinely believes that you found some way to get what you want while still respecting him being ace rather than force him to do it when he doesn't want to, meanwhile you're sitting here giving _hints_ but not actually _saying anything._
I'm aro ace and this woman genuinely confused me, did she think seeing her with another man would "awaken" his sexual urges or something? That she could convince an ace who is already making it very clear he's not interested in sex at all to have a threesome? She seemed supportive at first but as the story went on she started sounding like one of those people who say they support but doesn't actually think asexuality is real, you just have some hang ups to get over, that it can be "fixed".
EXACTLY! Like what a doofus??? What was she THINKING? Literally like what did she expect, dating an asexual. Like what do you think that means, lady? Like if you want sex, go find someone who isn't asexual. And honestly, I kinda hope her boyfriend is biromantic, cus I wanna see an ending where he and the partner ride off into the sunset playing Minecraft together.
Edit to add: I'm ace too
@@RiveroftheWitherthe person she's disappointed in not having sex with is not ace. Her partner is ace, the guy she's dating is not. He is now addicted to Minecraft and isn't interested in sex anymore due to wanting to continue playing Minecraft. So now she's upset because she had the sex she desired from her boyfriend without pressuring her ace partner also disappear.
I don't think having an open relationship while your primary partner is ace is generally a bad thing - but OP not discussing it with her partner before the sex became infrequent was a huge mistake.
Even as someone who's generally cool with sex and wouldn't consider myself full-on ace (probably somewhere on that spectrum though) when I get time with my partners there's just a million things I'd rather do lol
She's upset because her sex boyfriend no longer wants to have sex. She is fine with her ace boyfriend not wanting sex, she doesn't expect it. I mean having your partner and your boyfriend both abandon you for Minecraft is kind of funny though.
Play Minecraft with them. After all, if you don't play the Craft, you can't get the shaft.
The date is what made OP feel that way, so asking why OP bothered asking her out if he felt this way is literally just not a response.
Story 1: Our date was a dream come true, I've always wanted you to buy my mom dinner! ... ???
If a woman did that to me, I would rescind my offer to pay for her lunch, ask them to bill me for mines and bill her for the other three plates and then leave. If she has no money- tough, they can call the police for all I care major red flag, taking advantage right from the start, so entitled. If I drove, she can walk home, assuming that she isn't leaving in a police car! Even the, "I just had lunch before I left" thing is a cheek! I invite you to lunch with me, you know I'm looking forward to eating with you and you filled up before we got here? Now you want me to pay for you and your mum too? Nah, you can deal with it! Do not ask for another date, I will be sure to warn everyone of what you are like!