What Can You Do When Another Won't Forgive?
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 ก.ย. 2024
- You said an unkind word or reacted rashly. You feel terrible because it was directed at someone you love. When you ask for their forgiveness the wound they feel is too raw and they don't accept your apology. What can you do?
Today, Fr. Mike shares a word of challenge and encouragement on how to exercise the virtue of patience and show mercy as you wait to be forgiven.
❓ Have ideas for future videos ❓ Topics you want to hear about ❓ Questions you want answered ❓ Make sure to put #AskAscension in your comment 👍
- MORE FROM ASCENSION -
🔸Ascension’s main website: tinyurl.com/y3...
🔸Ascension Media: tinyurl.com/y6...
🔸The Great Adventure Bible: tinyurl.com/y3...
- SOCIAL MEDIA -
🔸Facebook: / ascensionpress
🔸Twitter: / ascensionpress
🔸LinkedIn: / ascension-press
🔸Instagram: / ascensionpress
🔸Subscribe: / ascensionpresents
- BULLDOG CATHOLIC -
🔸TH-cam: / @bulldogcatholic
🔸iTunes: podcasts.apple...
Isn't Fr Mike such a gift to the world 😊 My 5 year old daughter loves him and calls him the happy priest.
Your daughter is spot on. He is joyous!
God bless her, she is absolutely right
My sister likes him
Yes, he’s a gift!! And your five year old daughter knows that!!
Little children know the truth! He is a true gift. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
*"God wants to love you even if someone doesn't .."* The brightest ray of light ever!
*"Be patient, the story is not over ... ..."*
You opened a great new vista, Fr. Mike☆
Just accept who they are
Relationships are not always what we think they are. Boundaries are disrespected. We are messy creatures. Thank God for His forgiveness and restoration.
Well said.
Also perhaps we can pray and surrender it to God, "Lord I've done my best to repair the damages I've done but for the things I'm no longer in control I leave it to you Lord. May the person whom I've hurt turn also to your everlasting love and experience the power of forgiveness. Amen."
th-cam.com/video/THV_u-ZlmRc/w-d-xo.html
Well said!
Yes that’s a good prayer. I like it!
THANK YOU FOR THE 3rd thing which resonated!
Praying for your vocation. 🙏
Amen, amen 🙏🙌
In the modern age of perfectionism and canceling others for their sins, this is the perfect video to help.
I’m so sad because a friend has turned away from me. I’m not even sure why. Fr Mike has helped me accept this sadness, love her and patiently wait for healing.
Sorry to hear 😓 As a mom & sensitive person, may I share my perspective? I believe & have learned that some relationships are meant to be short term maybe when we or they needed someone. While other relationships endure trials & changes over the years. It's part of life. Remember: a true friend loves you & helps because they truly care about you regardless of our lives circumstances 💗 May God abundantly Bless you and all who need healing & good true relationships 🙏🕊✝️💗
This is exactly what I've been dealing with. Thank you so much for this.
1) Patient, long suffering
2) Love them. I love him that I need him to forgive me 😞 😭
3) Pray 🙏 for them. Just what I’m doing right @this moment 💔
4) Let God love me. Love myself, be patient with myself. The story is not over. There’s more to come. Let myself be loved 🥰 by the people that still love me.
How do you show love to someone who won't talk to you? In my case, the fellow believer I have sinned against didn't deal with the situation according to Matthew 18. It seems like she told others in the group not to talk to me. I only know her on an online basis, so face-to-face interaction isn't a possibility.
@@americanzeromake amends dont hope for an easy forgivism, prove that you are worthy of forgiveness,
Broken trust is difficult to repair, especially when alcoholism and drug addiction are factored in.
Very true, I believe it's pretty close to impossible to repair trust until our childhood trauma is dealt with. Most of us don't even know we carry it deep inside our psyche. The alcoholism and drug use is a way to cope with it I think.
Trust is so important and everything stems from that. It takes a long time to build trust and a split second to break and lose it.
Then why is it the basis of so many relationships if it is so fragile? Sounds like a liability to me.
That’s where forgiveness comes in…
When they can't forgive you when you're truly sorry then it's time to move on I lost friends because of my stupidity
This is the positive advice we need to hear , for those of us who want to be forgiven and even apologized knowing it made us vonuarable. I watch it of these videos about repairing a relationship, and most are toxic saying accept it's over , give up , but that's not the answer . We must continue to love and rebel against resentment ,show them were genuinely sorry with action more than words .it takes time ,but they are worth it, we are not perfect , we can't say I wish I was perfect , there is no such thing, we all say things when angry , and we truly don't meant it, we can't take it back but we can change that behavior 🙏. We must be patient
I needed to hear this! My husband and I are estranged from our son and grandsons. I have admitted that we said and did things we shouldn’t have, asked for forgiveness but he refuses. I have been angry, resentful, broken. Ready to be done with the situation. Built my “wall”. Your words inspired me and gave me strength to move forward, appreciate the many people who love me and to pray for my son and grandsons. Thank you for your wisdom!
Did anyone see that Father Mike was ranked 1 viewed podcast in the U.S. ❤️
I feel bad when I sincerely apologize to someone and they think my apology is insincere. I wish I were perfect often. Loving others genuinely is hard. Letting people go, accepting our wounded nature, weaknesses, and limitations is difficult. I feel so bad remembering the inexcusable ways I hurt others in the past. I've lost some people's trust because of repeated bad behavior. I hate admitting it is completely my fault
This channel is always so timely in posting EXACTLY what I need to hear for a situation I’m currently going through. Praise God, He is working through this platform
My word this year is Patience …. “Long suffering” might make for quite a long year but what a gift from God. Thanks for your insight Father Mike! I’m praying for you, please pray for me.
Wow. I needed this. More than anything, I've never felt so lost in my own anger. I've always believed in forgiveness and have experienced how freeing it is, and I've forgiven people for worse things. Right now I'm going through a small fued that my co-worker and I went through, and I have never felt more anger than in this instance where he won't listen to a word I have to say. I've never felt more angry. But I needed this, I've had feelings of resentment, empathy, and self-righteousness. And now I know what I need to do. Forgive my co-worker, give him the space and time he needs, as well as himself. Cause our small spat isn't worth giving up a friendship. And I gotta be honest...it is gonna be INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT to be patient, forgive, and love again. But I'm willing to go through the waiting, no matter the cost.
Thank you for this. My son is still upset and unforgiving of me for things I did and failed to do when he was a kid and now isn't talking to me
This happens a lot more than we realize. I have two step grandchildren who have canceled me and I have 2 different friends whose child refuses to tell them what they are mad about, they just won’t speak, one a son, the other a daughter. Just pray and walk in love. Allow God to do the work.
It is particularly difficult, painful, challenging, unrelenting when this occurs between spouses.
I've experienced this in a friendship. I broke it through my lack of courage, deception, and fear, not trusting in the friendship enough to be honest and vulnerable. It was devastating to see how my error and sin hurt a person I deeply cares about. All I could do was apologize and accept the consequences. She forgave but the friendship was over. Jesus really helped me through it. I ran to him in my shame and brokenness and He filled me with His mercy. It took a while for the sting to subside but I've prayed for my friend and asked the Lord to bless her life and I believe He has. I learned to confront and face parts of me that are not very likable or lovable and discovered that God's light though illuminating and revealing, is also warm and loving.
Thank you for your respect to the friend! I hate it personally if someone tried to be pushy about forgiving or to acknowledge them, the victims boundary must be respect even thoe you prefer a difderent outcome.
Hello, God bless you, abundantly 🙏❤
I pray that you remain in God's light and you are pure
Amennn!! Such a thoughtful prayer! Pray same for us too.🙏🙏
Amennn!! Such a thoughtful prayer! Pray same for us too.🙏🙏
Thank you. I have been dealing with consequences of a long repented sin and relationships broken by it for over twenty years. The ones I hurt will not be reconciled and what you described in this clip shed good light on my own experience.
I am a Christian, not Catholic and the guilt took me through all the phases you described. Your words are reassuring and instructive. Much respect and brotherly love to you.
Thank you father for answering my heart's restlessness.... 🙏🏻
I am not Catholic, but I receive this word of encouragement. Especially because currently the state of being unforgiven is where I reside. Oh how I long for reconciliation. Thank you for the encouragement. Currently praying for the best for two of the most important people in my life that I wronged. Leaving the rest to the Lord.
Thanks Fr Mike. I think that often we have to pray for the person, wish them every good and then let go and leave the rest to God, both for them and ourselves. If our apology and prayers seem to not work then move on (keep praying etc.) and not become depressed, 'with the weight of failure' on our heads, God will console both partys in time.
There's an old French Canadian prayer that I try to pray every day. I've loosely translated it in English, and the beginning of the prayer goes like this:
"Lord, I recommend to you, in a special way, all those who hate me or who have offended me. I pray that you give them in good the hurt that they have given me, or that they have wished upon me. ..."
It's difficult to wish good upon others who have hurt us. But praying "give them in good the hurt that they have given me", says what we must do as Catholics.
I love this prayer!
Wow!!! I do pray for those who have hurt me, I have been particularly hurt recently, and a year later I am still struggling with it,the pain is still so raw, I always pray for this person and wish no ill towards them at all, but this prayer, wow!!!! An amazing prayer of mercy and charity!!!! To pray for them to receive as much good as you did pain is immense, keep this up I hope to have the strength to use this prayer going forward!!!!
@@kazfor3769 Glad you like the prayer. I found it in my grandmother's old missel published in the early 1900s. Just because a prayer is old doesn't mean it can't be good.
I pray that you heal from the hurt you've suffered!!! May God be with you.
@@danielfortier2629 Thankyou for your prayers, much appreciated, and yes I agree, I have my grandfathers old missel, it's an absolute gift, a joy to read and contains such treasures and riches, will keep you in my prayers too, god bless.
Thank you for this. I hurt someone I love very much and I messed up I truly made a horrible mistake that I have asked God for forgiveness but I can't forgive myself..... I can't forgive myself because I hurt not only someone so close to me but it effected my children's lives and made the person I hurt not be in my kids life even though they are family to my children. My children had nothing to do with it but they have been punished which has punished me deeply. I am truly sorry for what I did and take full responsibility for it. I hope God does forgive me and my children know and understand what I did also and forgive me. I hope one day the person I hurt forgives me fully. But the damage is done unfortunately.
Hi Susiecat24, I know this is an old post now but I am going through something very similar so I completely sympathise and hope you are doing well and that you have found peace and a resolution this past year. My warmest hugs to you.
I hope you find peace and solution to your problems. God bless you.
I smile having to think that you are directly helping me put the puzzle in its proper place Fr. Mike.
The mind is troubled by all the to and fro of heavy thoughts, but your words are a comfort. While it is grace having to come across your videos, I continue to pray and ask for the grace to heal.. 🙂🙏
I'm realizing that a lot of my anger issues may stem from not being forgive in the past and being treated poorly by strict, harsh people. Please pray for me, being angry and cynical is becoming a huge problem for me.
Me too buddy, but for me the bitterness is very deep seeded so im unable to forgive, I pray that God saves you and that you will see his justice and blessing!
The timing of this video is unreal. I have just done a terrible mistake toward my so and i am currently in the phase of having to be patient for his forgiveness. I feel rejected in a sense but on the other hand, this video really reminds me to always keep my love for him no matter what entails.
Excellent! Thank you so much, Fr. Mike. There is one Person who will always forgive and love no matter what we do!
I was really lost after my best friend cut up our relationship over something I did, and I spent months thinking literally what you just said, never thought about fully embracing that this is it, this is the consequence and there is no way of fixing it.
You have to accept accountability, refusing it is selfish and arrogant, respect the victims boundary.
Perfect advice Father Mike.
God bless you
“Have a great week!” Thanks for the video Father Mike..
This helped me so much. Thank you.
Fr Mike Thank youuu 🙏💛 so much I needed this 💛
This is exactly what I needed to hear today.
I’m going through this right now and I saw a video that says that this was my mistake and I own it. It’s not your mistake. It’s mine and I own it and all I can do is learn from this if you’re smart you’ll learn from the situation, and if the other person won’t, forgive you or they wanna act different with you on them especially when it wasn’t even that bad when it wasn’t that bad of a thing I can see if it was like a horrific thing. OK I understand but if it was just something stupid, you said and they’re holding it against you because they said stupid things in their life. It’s just you just gotta learn to find a way to get over it and pray for them like father says and just keep praying for them and wish them the best.
Thank you for your relatability and understanding Fr Mike. This was a wonderful message.
Thank you, I am struggling, as my daughter will not forgive me, so I had to stop . As result I am not seeing my grandson who I have watched for 5 years. May I ask, please pray for us.
I pray that things are better for you now, you don’t deserve this
I am so broke and in such need of healing, that i cant even remember what it means to be 'joyous' or even 'happy'. I have surrendered my entire self to God....'My God, My all,' and in this the Lord consoles me, but it is I who must forgive and have patience. But, i dont know how anymore, it seems to be such a struggle.
This video gift is a help.
... 😔 ...
I can only pray that the person who had initially hurt me crosses my path really soon, so that i can, maybe, begin this process
Fr. Mike, I want to thank you for something you said in the end of the video. When you said that God doesn’t reward us for beating ourselves up, that he wants us to love ourselves, and that we need to let him love us, it really struck a chord with me.
I’ve always lived with the mentality that self-punishment, and denying myself of my own love is somehow virtuous and constructive-despite knowing on a deeper level that this a totally toxic mentality to have.
So hearing your reassurance that, not only is it okay to love yourself, but that we are encouraged to so, really really helps. Thank you for sharing with us those wise words!
Please pray for me that my relationship with my family may be restored I messed up so bad. forgive me FATHER LORD🙏🏽❤️🩹✝️
Hello, how are you, we are praying for you, it will be okay because you have God to guide you and to comfort you through, God bless you 🙏❤
Praying
I’m tearing up….
Bless you Father Mike. You are God send and such a wonderful spiritual Dad to us.
Thank you Father... been struggling with this ........
Deo Gratias!
Fr. Mike Schmitz:
In God's most perfect wisdom, He created you, sent the Holy Spirit to speak through you, and continues to heal me through your words.
Thank you!
We are all tools to be used everyday by God, and I am truly thankful that Fr. Mike Schmitz allows himself to be a phenomenal tool in God's victory kit.
I pray you never cease in saying "Yes" to God.
Father Mike this helped me immensely 🙏🙏🙏🙏🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️💕💕💕💕💕💕😍🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
I hope the unforgiving side is also watching videos on their responsibility to forgive! I'm sure there's times in their lives where they were on other side of offending someone and asked for Grace and received it. If you've truly repented the responsibility now falls on them.
Thank you for your wise words. It is okay to love people who reject you. God loves me.
This is such great advice! I have also been praying part of the Lord's Prayer whenever I feel negative about myself or the person who does not seem to have forgiven me, 'Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors'. It has helped me have peace. I just pray it again and again whenever those thoughts come up. And also just pray a simple prayer for them, even if I don't know specifically what they need, as Father Mike has said so well.
Thank you Father. I needed this. I will continue to be patient in my suffering AND love them and myself.
This blessed me so much today. I needed this. 🙏🏽✝️
"The story's not done"...Lord give me strength, Amen.
You always have just the right words to say that hit hard. Thank you, Fr. Mike❤
I betrayed two of my closest friends at the end of seasonal camping 2021. I repeatedly apologized n accepted full responsibility. Based on their response im sure they won't forgive me maybe ever. N the torment I've felt periodically is awful. I really needed this video, thank you! I've been absolved of my sin by my Pastor. I pray for God's grace to transform their hurt n one day accept my apology. Thank you Father Mike so much for showing me the way forward. I pray God continue to bless ur Priestly, u tube ministry, of which I'm a follower for some time now. B well, stay healthy n may God continue to bless u!
Yeah this is the crux of it all, we do the damage, repent, get forgiven but the relationship will have changed, maybe forever. Its up to us to try to understand what we did wrong so we don't do it again.
@@mikewilliams235 amen!
@@jimconlen3552
When you said you took accountability, is it by word or deed? Because you say that, it usually means suffering some sort of consequences or being held to an account! Maybe you didn't suffer that type of accountability, maybe why they dont forgive you, as you may have "gotten away with it". Words are just words if its not followed by deed, dont expect others to forgive you, you must make ammends, (pay back, repay) for the pain you caused, instead of hoping just saying sorry is enough, thats too easy to get off. I hope you understand.
@@jimconlen3552accept the consequences! Dont be lile the others
Thank you, Father Mike! 🙏😊
As always, an apt message for me, and a gentle reminder to be patient 🙂
Thank you Father, cannot thank Jesus enough for your Priesthood!
Hard sayings, but true none the less. God be praised.
I know Our Lady sent Fr Mikes message to
me , because I literally asked her today. I’ll have to listen often though, I’m finding it so hard to let go of my hurt,sadness and confusion of my sisters rejection over many years. Pray for me please.
Thank you for this video, Fr Mike. It’s just what I need to hear. God bless you and your ministry.
Thank you 😔💔
I totally needed this video. Thank you!
I needed this so much. In my case I was the one who ended the friendship. I love this person but I don't want to get fooled anymore. Still praying for him.
th-cam.com/video/THV_u-ZlmRc/w-d-xo.html
Isn’t it possible to forgive and yet not want to have a relationship? Some people are just not good for you. You know that will not change. Is it healthy to expect to have a relationship? Sometimes you have no malice, you wish them well and do not want a relationship. All of those things are possible.
Thank God for Fr Mike and Ascention Presents
Not wanting to forgive only hurts oneself. It’s like drinking poison and waiting for it to kill the other person. You only hurt yourself. I hope everyone here struggling with forgiving will find it in their hearts to do so. Pray and pray for God’s peace.
😆😆😆
Look i didnt forgive everyone, the pressure to forgive was the poison that didnt give me peace, once i accepted that i couldnt forgive certain individuals, i got peace, thier stull pain but it is not as bad as before.
Sometimes it's not that we won't forgive people it's that WE CAN'T! It's so painful, injust and traumatizing.
@@goodone5590based
Thank you for this
Wow, this video is exactly what I needed. You described the exact problem I’m in right now.
Thank you God. I know I was led to this video. I needed to hear that God is not glorified when we beat ourselves up. I just wish I could take back what I said and make it right.
Thank you….hit nail on the head with this message. Will keep it on speed dial.
Fr. Mike, I listen to your Bible in a year podcast regularly and I listen to accession presents often too. I have messed up bad in my relationship with my spouse and I really needed to hear this. Thank you. You are such a blessing.
keep pray for them... always... if they are ok, we are ok too in different way , but its ok.
Padre, you gave me the exsact words I needed to hear, a few months back a person close to me. Hit a nerve, a very deep and painful one. I lashed out verbally. I was Cold cruel and direct with the retaliation statement. (It had been over a drink) and when I was called out on it I immediately and shamefully asked for forgiveness. Now here it is nearly 5 months later and they had cut me out of their life. Which hurts cause there is soooo many times I want to call them and check on them. I love this person dearly. They are ⅓of my heart
Beautiful!❤
Thank you Fr Mike. You are God sent. 😇 You answered my question. I was wondering if I should cont to pray for my ex husband since he doesn't want anything to do with God and our kids are in the middle. It's painful that we're not on the same page, and the hasn't forgiven me but God knows best and I trust in him and know that he will be by our side. Love you father. 📿🙏
Thank you Father Mike for all you do here. I don’t even no what I did however I chose to open the door for reconciliation and apologize. It is I who has be harmed. My therapist sars I shoul go no contact. These are my siblings I am speaking of. Thank you Father Mike
The Bible also says that to forgive simply means that you wish the other person no harm (no cursing, no ill will; definitely pray for them.)
No Contact is for abusive relationships. You can do both No Contact and forgiveness because you also need to keep yourself safe and sane.
Yes, losing your siblings is beyond painful. (I lost my adult kids to No Contact.) Keeping yourself safe is also important: there is more for you to do to live out God's Will for you than just your relationship with your siblings (or my kids), important as those are.
Keep praying for them and yourself. Grieve for the lost relationships, and one day you can move on. As Fr.Mike says,"The story is not finished." Trust in God. I will pray for you. Pls pray for me, too.
@@dawnday5105 I thank you for your response also I thank you for adding it’s okay to grieve. This shows me I’m in the right place. So often I hear you are grown man to man up. Have no idea which man they look up to for me it’s Jesus and when In doubt simply love. Thank you and everyone who make this get on utube.
Thank you Fr. Mike. I am in the very same situation. You've given me guidance that I will forever be grateful for. Namaste.🙏🏽
This is just what I needed. That's real wisdom. Thank you!
Thanks Father Mike. I had a
friend Who wouldn't forgive me, so I' m praying for him ❤
I am in this exact position right now. I am beside myself with sorrow and regret.
This priest is amazing. May God continue to Bless you and your work.
th-cam.com/video/THV_u-ZlmRc/w-d-xo.html
I know there are people I have hurt who may never get past it. I have asked forgiveness and now the ball is in their court. What happens next is beyond my control and I have to be okay with that. I say okay instead of using the word acceptance because for me anyway, being okay with something let's me know I've reached true acceptance of a thing. It's a strange exercise in semantics that most people won't understand and you know what, I'm okay with that.
Yes, accept the truth, but don't keep beating yourself down.
I so desperately needed to hear this!! It really opened my eyes and I can begin to move forward.
THANK YOU SO MUCH💖
I don't agree with everything he says BUT THIS really touched my heart. He's a very good teacher 👏 👌 ❤️!
Love this video....I don't trust anyone BUT GOD! People are imperfect and once they hurt you, it's hard to even establish or reestablish trust. I STILL love them with the agape love of Jesus Christ and pray for them, but I don't have to allow them back into my little circle(that's my choice). Peace and Blessings everyone🙏🏽❤️😊
needed this Fr😓😓😓
For healing and deliverance Please keep repeating this, while watching "the passion of Christ" movie: ( By the stripes and wounds of Jesus I am healed. Thank you Jesus for completely healing me)
th-cam.com/video/THV_u-ZlmRc/w-d-xo.html
As a cradle holiday Catholic, I’m finding talks on Lashon Hara to be helpful in this area as to the impact of words on relationships and the human nature behind why we back off from relationships that are toxic. The damage it does- like you said - when it’s done it’s done and may not be a relationship one or both parties want to re-enter.
Thank you for your words father Mike
This truly touched my heart today. Thank you❤️I had been depressed because I did not receive forgiveness from my husband. I was near tormented that he rejected reconciliation when I forgave him many times until it broke my soul.but me feeling myself up does not give God glory. Today I declare to Jesus that it is in his hands. I pray that my husband heart is touched with everything he needs❤️
What I have come to realise is when you hurt someone and they indicate by word or action that don't want to reconcile, its best to move on. The damage has already been done.
I need to hear this .
40 years ago, I begged for forgiveness from someone for something I did. But I didn't even know what I did to offend them. They refused to tell their issue with me, nor did they forgive me. I felt guilty because I know I let them down in somethings. But after all that time I never figured out what the issue has been. I finally gave up and realized it's not my problem to figure out what the issue was. I finally learned to forgive myself for not being enough and love myself. You say the story isn't over, but I doubt that. I mean the damage is done. I have lived with pain of guilt and shame over nothing
Basically what you’re saying is not to hold, resentment or a grudge.. but sometimes it’s better to move on from toxic people for your own mental health.
God bless you Fr Mike. Thank you.
❤❤❤May be I was lucky enough that i got to see this video today.... Happiness is a choice and so is suffering... that's right god wants to love us even if someone doesn't ❤
Its a good thing God know and shows full forgiveness with reconciliation . I believe he sets the example especially when its a marriage and one repented we are to fully forgive and forget for loves sake
Kinda needed this today. Wish I didn’t but I do you’re the best.🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
👍
On a positive note, a true lover of God will love justice more than they love themselves. To intentionally harm someone will naturally cause the them to want to end the relationship. We (the offenders) cannot be mad at anyone for our punishment because our punishment is not being handed down by a judge or jury, both of which may be corrupted or unfair. Instead, our punishment is being handed down by God himself and His universe. When we disrespect his golden law of treating others the way we wish to be treated, we are disrespecting the man himself and it is only logical to expect bad consequences from doing bad things. Imagine if only good things happened when we did something bad. What a mess we’d be in. I’m still always astonished at the number if people I come across that seem unaware of this law because I learned it when I was young - as a teenager. This is because I’m not immune to this law either. I first encountered it when I came crawling back to a girl I refused to commit to. She took great pleasure in being the one to reject me. At first I was hurt. But then I quickly realized the justice felt great. And it felt good to make her happy. I could tell she was smiling on the inside because she was able to get her dignity back and get a little revenge on me. I treated her bad, I lost out, I deserved my comeuppance. If I ended up getting her back, I would have became a very bad person - learning that I could do whatever I want with no consequences.