How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 ต.ค. 2021
- Today I wanted to talk about toxic comparisons and how we can stop comparing ourselves to others. Let me know in the comments if you guys can relate.
C O M E S A Y H I
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Hi everyone! I'm having trouble putting subtitles for this video, but it'll be up soon :)
Put “ This is my life”.
You are so beautiful
I can see the subtitles. Love ur content. Thank you 💐.
it's okay! I love Malama's expression and pretty scenery, so I see her often ^^
It's okk
I think this is especially important when it comes to the digital age. I stayed in Hawaii for 2 months and there was a certain beach I would go to every day. A popular TH-camr went to the same spot and filmed it.... and it looked like a completely different place. The water was a different color and everything looked 10X prettier. I was really blown away and it hit me how different reality can be from the internet. 😔
I've felt this too when traveling to other places! Also when I film, I only look for beautiful places to create beautiful content. It's not to be deceiving, but I can see how it can distort reality! Thanks Shifairah 🥰
Actually we Create from perception
🤣famous couple TH-camr???
this omg where i live influencers go to these cafes and places that look absolutely beautiful on the internet but are so bad in real life when I visit them
9
*"You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength." - Marcus Aurelius*
Yes!!!!
My first yoga teacher used to say "Don't compare yourself to others. Comparison is an act of violence against the self." It has stayed with me for years and I've come to realise that, by the same logic, accepting yourself without comparison is an act of much-needed kindness. So let's be kind to ourselves, people 🙂
Lovely video with lots of food for thought as always, thank you 💜
When I feel like I am jealous of someone else’s life I think: this person, like myself, is not always happy 🙂 it is normal to feel unhappy or frustrated sometimes. this thinking helps a lot to stay by myself and be grateful for what I have ☺️
so true!
*It's taken me years to stop comparing myself to others and to realize my path and pace is different from others an that's ok. We all are not supposed to have the same journey in life; there is nothing wrong with having guidance but we must find our own footing in this world. I'm not perfect I still find myself comparing to others but the differences now, is that I know when it's toxic and I need to take a step back.* 😊💕💕
Love the watermelon umbrella 🍉
Knowing when to step back is more important! I think that's a sign of self-respect and self-love! thank you so much Deandra :)
#truth Couldn't agree more Deandra & Malama! 💓
@@TravelingSeeker thank you 😊
True happiness is from our inner peace.Comparing may bring temporary pleasure,but it’s a kind of self-deception. I sometimes ask myself why I can enjoy the happiness of winning while I can’t hold the same attitude towards defeat.Supposing there are two mountains here,one is definitely taller than the other .However if there is no other mountains in our life ,what we have are only ourselves.No one is taller than us,at the same time,remember nobody is shorter than us.Drop the happiness of winning the comparison,we will never feel disappointed about our so-called “failure “.We are born to grow in mind.
Yes you are absolutely right
I realize when I walk into school I start getting insecure because I see many people with unique clothes and hairstyles while I look like a quiet nerd girl. I keep having thoughts in my head saying " what will they think about me " and it is bothering me! I'm so happy I took the time to watch this! It help me a lot 😊❤️
❤️ I hope you know that your uniqueness makes you beautiful
We grew up rather poor but really didn’t know it until we compared ourselves to others. A lifetime of trying to be the same or better than someone else’s life robs us of our authentic selves. Messages like yours reminds me to continue pursuing my own truth rather than attempting to mimic others.
I'm trying to remind myself as well. Thank you so much!
Best comment here 💪
*"Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point." - C.S Lewis*
🥰 love this
Comparison is also a form of violence but it takes tremendous effort to avoid it as society teach this to us every minute. Listening to self may be helpful.
Yes! Agree
As a mom to a 2 year old I’ve realized social media is not my friend. Not only did I experience fomo since I could no longer do the things I used to prior to becoming a mom, but also experienced a feeling of inadequacy looking at “helpful” mom videos/content . I’ve learned I need to stay away and it’s made my life a whole lot better. Thank you for the video.
Good for you Gabriela! 💕
Comparison is a killer of joy. As much as I know this, I compare myself to everyone around, even the people that think they are less privileged. Sometimes it's good every time, it's bad.
Thanks, malama for the word of wisdom.
I agree with you completely. Thanks for watching :)
Same here! I feel you:( i just cant seem to stop comparing myself and it truly kills all my happiness that i felt a moment ago which is so sad and painful. I feel like i am belittling and diminishing my journey and accomplishments by comparing myself, which makes me feel worthless and like everything is in vain. Its so toxic and unhealthy
@@nahiedlaila9601 one step at a time will make a lot of difference
Hi Sophie - 'Comparison is the thief of joy' - I think most if not all can relate to the toxicity of comparison with others. This is amplified and heavily influenced by many factors all around us in the world and societies that we live in today. We are exposed to many different situations, circumstances and online/offline tools and platforms that can lead us to compare ourselves to others in a negative and self-destructive way. Even if we are self-aware and know that this is happening the effects of it can be challenging to deal with and we can find ourselves in a vulnerable place mentally, physically and spiritually.
For everyone the journey of effectively dealing with 'comparison with others' is a little different as it will extend from our own unique experiences, personal history, personality and belief systems. It is hard. It is painful. However, I hope that everyone knows that they are a treasure to the world, that they matter, that focusing on their path, at their pace and that being authentically them is what makes them incomparable to any other.
Amazing video and message as always x stay safe and well x
I agree with you completely. This is difficult to realize when we feel so vulnerable, but it's a chance to learn every single time. Thanks for your insight as always :)
This is honestly the most calming video I have seen in a while. I'm a teenager and lately my mental health hasn't been great, partly because I was often subconsciously comparing myself to others in every way. But I've been trying to let go of these things, because I realise finding peace and following my own values is the most important thing. And in the end, it is pointless comparing people because we are all completely different.
I'm not very competitive, I just want to have a meaningful and adventurous life. The path I choose is so outside the standard norm, I rarely see anyone I want to be like. If anything, I just feel isolated with my authenticity.
I think social media distortion is fueling a lot of this today, especially platforms like Instagram and TikTok, I definitely think that reducing the intake of that stuff can help to change your mood and outlook for sure.
Yes I agree with you. It's breeding ground for mental health issues especially for young kids. thanks for watching
Yes! When were too busy comparing ourselves to others, we can't see our beautiful individuality. The world needs you as you are, not another carbon copy of someone else. Yes, we can admire the merits of someone else who we deem influential, but it should come from an alignment with our own core values. We're all individual links of the same chain and the fact that we're distinct from one another is what makes us the same! Plus, finding our tribe requires us to be authentically ourselves. So be who you are to the core without a filter to dilute you, or even to hide you. It can be scary at first, but it is worth it I promise ❤
You said it so well :) I couldn't agree with you more. Hope we can share this message
The title of this video is exactly what I searched on google: "How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others". I was sick of it. My parents have raised me and my 3 brothers using comparison and it stole my joy. Starting your video with "Comparison is the thief of joy" put a smile on my face because I knew that I found it. I found the exact video I needed and it took me one single click. Thank you, Sophie!
Comparisons are the number one reason for sibling rivalry and they can deeply hurt children. I know it did me and my brother. I learned and realized this and now as a mother, I try hard not to compare my children. It’s hard but so worth it. Thank you for this message and it’s so nice to see that you and your sister still have a good relationship. I wasn’t so lucky with my brother :(
That's so great! I try my best not to compare my nephews either! I want them to love and embrace all the amazing little quirks about themselves
I wish I had learnt this years ago. Thank goodness for maturity. Beautiful lesson to learn early
Yes! I agree with you.
Anytime I have compared myself to other people, I have felt less than. Until I realized that the only person I should compare myself to, is the person I was yesterday. No matter what you compare, you will always find someone richer, better looking than you, has a nicer car, has a better (fill in the blanks). And it's totally pointless. When I began focusing on the idea of going to bed better than I woke up, basically making sure that throughout day I do things that make a better version than the one who woke up that morning, then life really began to change for me. Focus on you and your own progress. Run your own marathon! 🏃♂🏃🏃♀
This video is so calming and honestly very helpful especially during your 20s when everyone is going in different directions!
Thank you :) so important!
When we see how "great" everyone else seems to be doing, it's easy to assume we see the whole picture. But we only see a snapshot. Everyone we see also deals with his/her own insecurities; they just may not share them.
When we start to compare ourselves to others, it's a wonderful idea to look back on our own accomplishments and say, "Wow! I did that!" especially if it's something you never thought you could or would do. Just reminding ourselves of the positive things we've achieved can help put things in perspective.
I also like to ask myself, "Objectively speaking, without looking at anyone else, am I happy with my life? Do I enjoy my life? Am I happy with how things have turned out?" Assuming there *is* no other way of life to compare it to!
Love this topic - so relevant! Love the quotes - they're perfect for this video!
Your life looks so perfect and you are so gorgeous... that it sees impossible to imagine you comparing yourself to others and feeling bad. Thanks for sharing this, it helps hearing someone like you talking about the same struggles I feel every day. Your channel gives me peace
Oh you're too sweet Lara! But my life and I am faaar from perfect :) I do think it's important to talk about this because we all go through these emotions. Maybe we can through them together and feel less alone.
"When we try to fit into someone else's mold then we can see our shortcomings and feel low"
I really resonated with this.. love your channel!
Very timely! I am currently on a social media break and I am on my 7th day. My mind was filled with a lot of stuff, insecurities and senseless thoughts for the past few weeks and I felt that I am slowly forgetting how to be genuinely happy. I decided to do this socmed break for a month and just focus on positive things and celebrate my uniqueness as a person. I should love myself more and I deserve my own peace. Actually, we all do. :) Sending love to everyone, from the Philippines.
I hope your social media break was the pause you needed! Thank you lailanie❤
Ako rin
Thank you for being so true when creating videos… certain things are things we are too embarrassed to open up about and when someone takes the courage to open up and talk about it, we feel like we are not the only ones feeling this way.. thank you, your videos are so helpful 💕
What a beautiful message Sophie ❤ and it was delivered in such a beautiful way too ! I've struggled with comparison *A LOT* & it was just a devastating & horrible place to be..i still do it sometimes but now i'm on my journey to unlearn it & focus on myself instead ! As i matured over the years and noticed how different we all are, i don't want the same things as the others so i felt like it's okay to just make my own standards of ''success'' and what does a ''happy life'' mean instead of evaluating myself according to others' norms ! And it made a huge difference in how i feel 😊 i'm still a work in progress but i'm much happier now that i'm doing my own thing..thank you for making this video and adressing such an important topic i'm sure it will comfort many people 💕
Thank you so much for this video. I have been compared to my younger sister, my cousins or friends during my whole adolescence, when I was the most vulnerable. It was hard to overcome it... 😩 I guess social media doesn't help but when I started to be on Instagram I decided that I wouldn't care anymore and being just me was enough. Life is short and I want to make mine as beautiful as possible, in my own way 😊
Thoughtful and helpful video, Sophie! It frankly takes a while to get grounded in and appreciate who we are. And to value our own uniqueness. It's a process, and thankfully, most of us mostly outgrow this need for comparison.
What a beautifully put message Sophie...this really made me think about how we subconsciously create goals that are not for us...
thank you so much for this, i'm usually pretty okay and don't compare my self but we all have those days when it just hits and fighting these thoughts becomes inevitable :(
i truly appreciate and luv you for making this
Aloha Sophie:! “comparison is the thief of joy” Is now my new focus during my gratitude meditation :) 🌺
I just want to say thank you. Your videos are helping me a lot!
Let each comparison be a chance to love YOURSELF! Love that!
Just beautiful... thank you!
Wow Thank you Sophie, this video means a lot to me and helped me♥️ your own experience make sense to me because I have been through that too! I love that you said “ allow us to feel but also to move on and let each comparison be a chance to love yourself”💕
Appreciate the aesthetic of the video so much and the calming voice.
Thank you for this video! (I’ve also been getting into your videos here lately, great content) I have a bad habit of often comparing myself to others whether it’s my friends or even my family. Which I know isn’t a great thing to do when I know have a good thing going in my life also.
Thank you so much for this ❤
Love your videos and how well speaking you are with your videos and the topics and tips
I do really love this kind of content. Thank you so much!
Hi Sophie,
You always come with video's about subjects i'm struggling with! I started with a gratitude journal to realize how blessed i am in life 🥰 Amazing video. Much love
I like your thoughts on this sensitive topic! Very mature and helpful
Thank you for this video, it was what i needed :)
I very much admire your candidness and honesty.
Especially because you look like you have everything so together.
Your beauty, eloquence and stillness, only increases the perception.
Owning up to your weaknesses takes tremendous strength, good for you!
Thank you so much for this video, it's a very important reminder to everyone how comparing truly is the thief of joy. I am very guilty of comparing and I struggle with it every day and always have since a little girl..Best thing I did do was delete fb and Instagram and that was going on 5 years ago now and I don't regret it! I just need to start working on myself a little bit more, because just as you had said in the beginning it invalidates everything you have done.
It feels like my story, especially the sister comparison part. It all started when I was a little child too, Thanks for this..
Definitely malama we should not give importance to what others want us to be ,we should be what we want, what we wish ,ultimately we should be happy that's what matters the most. I really like the content you make and yes getting off from social media is
better rather feeling low because of that comparison and all that stuff. That's what I did too I decluttered all my social media and now I am trying to be in contact with family and friends and only those who are motivating me to pursue my goals and supporting me to full fill them.
I am not going to go into details. But it makes me think about so much crap I had to go through for a part of my life. I am so happy this chapter is sealed.
Just found your channel last night! Thank you for this video and all your videos. You touch on topics that are spot on and you have really helped me to focus on myself more and what Feels good to me.
I'm so happy to hear that :) thank you so much!
Sophie this is such a wonderful reminder. 💝 Stay reflective 💝 Xo
Comparisons can only stop when you control your thoughts. As the saying goes "there is nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so".
yes so true! thanks for your comment
i think its important to allow us to feel but also to move on and let each compaison be a chance to love yourself
omg how much i love this phrase
🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺
comparison is the thief of joy - love it. As you said, it is hard not to compete sometimes. i try my best not to but, then everyone around me are growing and having the best life and i am still there where i was before feels like. i don't have that kind of life that others have. It is hard not to sometimes, and that always puts me down. i can't help it
This is just what I needed,thank you.
Thanks for watching ❤
Thank you for this wonderful message Sophie.Very relatable. ❤
Thank you Diane 🥰
Your voice is so soothing and beautiful 😩
The thing that makes me get literally hooked on your videos is your beauty and your style. You are unique. I'm really a fanboy haha.
As I always say pls make more of such videos it's immensely helpful to the youth of this time and for people who are struggling.
Hi Sophie! Thank you so much for another amazing video! You always speak directly to my heart. 💗
💗 thank you so much Lydia
Envy and comparing myself to others is my biggest flaw. I'm working on it, but it's really hard. I think (in my case, but maybe with others too) it's just related to lack of perspective and lack of an idea for your own path.
I've noticed recently that I am most jealous of colleagues and friends that have good contract of employment, earn well and so on. But I had this epiphany that I don't like working from 9 to 5 and my productivity and creativity fluctuates, so it cannot be measured with cold KPIs and other sprints. Thus, working just like them would make me miserable in the long run. Since I decided to be my own employer, I feel more calmly and at the right place.
PS. Another amazing video, I'm addicted to your calm voice and minimalistic, clean background. You're inspiring me to make many small, but in the long run significant changes in my life. Have a nice day!
Hi Love, I so needed this video today. Thank you as always❤️🙏🌹
🥰 thank you Melika!
Wow, Sophie! So many things you said sound just like how I was or how I think. You seem so much like me in a variety of ways.
I really enjoyed listening to this video in my yard surrounded by Juniper trees and the weather was breezy and cool. Afterwards, I took a walk alone and it was so peaceful. I got to see the beautiful mountains near my house and an amazing sunset! I have been doing this more often this last week because I need more alone time from my busy life of being a stay-at-home mom of three, I home-schools as well.
I really need to slow down more. Your videos are helping me to remember to do this more often. Thank you!
❤️🙌 happy to hear that
Great video! Very important topic and issue to discuss! 👍
Dearest Sophie Today We had RAIN in the Desert...it has been a while and it was such a LOVELY Day..entering into this cooler temp is truly a blessing.
I really appreciated your honesty in sincerity on Today's Video,it's so TRUE what comparison can do to our SOULS! It is inevitable sometimes! but to look at in INSTEAD as you suggest with happiness for others and to see how UNIQUE we really are
You are to me,a helping hand,a good friend who give advice of how life could be if We look at it with a different perspective.Thank u once again with your words of wisdom,and Yes I myself need to take BREAKS from social here and then
Sending You my love Sincerely Osiris.
Your video is so helpful to me which makes me feel better now, stop thinking and live with this moment
Thank you for this video, so timely.
I love your videos, your voice, your personality, everything 💖💖🥰🙌 this video really helped me
Thank you so much 😊❤
Simply, thank you! I am sure this is going to help a lot of people feeling the same!! Beautifully said.
🥰 I hope it can be an important reminder
"Comparison is the thief of joy." Aren't you the one with the inside scoop. That's a very good statement for how comparing ourselves to others truly is. I don't know why we as human beings compare things to other people. If we can make enough money to save for retirement, pay our bills (house, utilities, etc.) and go on a vacation every now and then, to my thinking you've achieved what you need to in life. Why go any further? However, the human idiosyncracy of comparison comes into play to try and be equal with someone else. I agree with everything you said in this video, Sophie. Thannk you!
people naturally face our weaknesses with their outcome result, that's why they can not validated our weaknesses, whie their forget about their journey their process before their arrived to their own outcome to validated another human experiences. of course there was so much effort to passing every weaknesses and even when we already passed it , it could come again in another form. so much gratitude for your video (this video) for the others who facing their weaknesses (ex;comparing or searching validation) by them self. xoxo
This honestly made me cry a little bit 💙
Great videos! So insightful & genuine 🙏
Thnak you for watching ❤
Thankyou for your insightful videos.
Amazing advise, makes so much sense! Will definitely try to inculcate into my physche.
❤😍 thank you for watching
Beautiful Message Sophie every person is unique and should stay the way they are, God bless you 🙏🏾
we need these reminders to embrace our uniqueness because it's easy to forget. Thanks for watching :)
'The only person whom you can compare yourself to is YOU'
A lot of thanks for this video. This serves as a reminder for me not to compare myself to others but instead appreciate all the things that I have and what I can do. What a genuine feeling contentment and happiness. ❤️
I love hearing that. Thanks for watching 🥰
Thank you for this reminder :) Sending love your way
Much love to you ❤
i sooo love this contentmi used to compare myself to others and it only gives me restlessness and dissapoinment towards my self.but now,i slowly learning how to feel great about me.sometimes,i do feel insecure but
i can easily swept it away from my mind.thanks and God Bless you always.!.😊😊
Self love is everything ❤ I'm happy you decided to change it around
You have hit the mail on the head! I have the exact same feeling!
I retired early, at 42, I worked non stop for 20 years then quit with enough money to live quite comfortably. I am now 49. I have recently started to compare myself to others. I recently found out that an old friend of my owns a Porsche, I have a Mercedes’. This triggered me to somehow so now I can’t stop. It seems like everyone else is doing better than me. I know deep down that this is not true…. What’s more Important is that it is not relevant.
I am now thinking a lot o about these things. I can feel the bitterness when I do. I hate feeling like this. I stopped looking at social media except TH-cam which is more in line with me. When I was on Fb many many years ago everyone’s life looked “perfect”. There was one girl I knew from school, all her posts showed he happy life. It looked like everything was amazing…. I then bumped into her about 3 years later and it turns out that the husband left her for a younger woman… I was astounded. I said but you both look so happy. It’s amazing how different reality is from things like Fb etc…. That’s why I don’t use them anymore.
Regardless I still have these insecure and jealous feelings….. I need to learn to stop doing it and really focus on my own life and reprioritize my life. I was brought up by an Iraqi dad who’s only focuse was to work work work and make lots of money… which I did. It was grueling. Now I have everythung in a material sense and have been fortunate enough to live comfortably as a retired man since I was 42. I did those things but I still feel terrible. I have this massive hole in me… is the only way I really know how to explain it. It’s like everything I was brought up to believe were important are actually not.. porsche, Mercedes’ etc…. Square footage of my house compared to others. It’s insane. I know it is but I find myself regurgitating it over and over again. It’s making me feel quite unhappy.
I really enjoy your content. You are honest, very articulate and I can relate to everything you say. Now, I need to try to improve going forward. Making sure that the I,portan5 things are the things I focus on and not this emptiness and envy (which is not actually warranted or even realistic) so I can get back to enjoying life again.
i do sometimes find myself in that loophole without even really realizing it although i may have told myself that im looking from a positive side and stuff. But eventually, i'd got caught up too much in my own thoughts and washed all the positive ones and focused more on the things that im lacked of. That's a big struggle for me and im still trying to be better in managing my own thoughts. Very grateful for this video as well. Thank you so much
I really relate to this comment where I just overwhelm myself so much to the point where it starts hurting my head. I realized that once I’m caught up in the cycle of comparison and get so deep into it all my thoughts and feelings are so negative I don’t see the point in trying anymore if everyone is always going to be better. But I realized I really need to watch my words and thoughts. It’s really comforting to know that so many other people feel similar:))
One of my favorite quotes from the Dao De Ching is "When you are content to be yourself and don't compare or compete, everyone will respect you." Over the years, I have struggled a lot with comparing myself to others, especially as a musician, and although it did help motivate me to practice more and improve, it also has reduced a lot of my self-confidence. I liked what you said about comparison being something that's just part of life but also that we have to be mindful about what effect the comparison has on us. Overall, you're right that comparison comes from a place of weakness, and I believe you should be able to love who you are no matter what regardless of external influences. I could say a lot more about this, but I'll stop here... Once again, thank you for a wonderful, well-thought-out, relaxing video
Very true words! Your videos are always so profound and very important, especially for younger people. ❤ I think that not comparing oneself to others is a n everyday challenge and a training. We can only get better with time and learn how to stay true to ourselves. 🌻
I love how you put it 🥰 you're right! it's a challenge we all have to take on and learn how to overcome
Thank you for showing your beautiful self today ❤️
🥰 thanks for watching
Omg your video came in the right time. Been comparing my arts and works with others in social media, people that idk, to the point I bought stuff i dont need cos i dont want to be left behind that in the end its useless and ruined all of my works. :(
You're not alone! I feel like we all experience this at one point or another. I hope that you're able to see beyond that and move past it
Thank you 😢😘
I have been learning Korean for almost a year and a half. I've learned so much and really love the language. And yet I find myself tempted to compare myself to other learners on social media or in my classes who are further along and better than I am. It can really steal the joy out of the process. But one of my friends shared a quote and it says, "Don't compare your beginning to someone else's middle -- Jon acuff"
So if you are learning something, or trying to master a skill, and you find yourself comparing your work to the work of someone more experienced, remember that, just like Sophie said, it is not comparable.
I hope my message came across the right way ^^
I love that quote and try to remember this as well! The best I can do is focus on me and my growth. Best of luck with your Korean :)
감사합니다! Thank you 💕
I love this! Jealous can derail you from your destiny
So true! I've felt this
WHOA! Your voice is soooooooo soothing
🥰 thank you
I needed to hear this. Thank you
Thank you for watching
I agree in that, even with good intent, comparisons can hurt and exude true anxiety in someone of not feeling enough. I have spent years fighting that feeling and now that I am a mother and protect my children, I see that finally I do not compare myself but it is still a struggle.
I love that so much. I also try not to compare others and learn from my own experience :)
That's a nice post ! I loved it.
Thank you ❤️
Let each comparison be a chance to love yourself.
thanks for watching until the end :)
Hi Sophie, What a beautiful message 💕💕
🥰 thank you so much for watching!
Thanks for sharing! 💗
I am very grateful to you for your superb and inspiring videos. Keep it up! You are a very talented and beautiful woman. Peace, love, freedom!
Everything Sophie you mentioned in your video is absolutely true 👍 thank you for sharing 😊 🙏 ❤
❤️ thanks Michael
@@MalamaLife Your welcome. Enjoy your day 😊❤
Ohhh this video is the one that I needed the most. I can't miss any of your videos❤
I'm so glad to hear that 🥰 thank you for always supporting!
Ooh I loved seeing the pumpkin patch footage! We’ll be going there soon! You’re sooo creative with your BRoll! I love learning this art from your channel :)
I'm going again too :) I love being up there