This was a great example of autistic late diagnosed adults having a warm conversation full of acceptance for each other. As a late diagnosed autistic adult still trying to find my way socially, this is inspirational for me about how good communication can be amongst autistic adults. You are all being wonderful role models and I thank you for that.
When I got diagnosed at 27, my clinician asked me "So what's your diagnosis?" I said well if I have it I've had it all my life. it's not like I've got cancer. He replied yes you are autistic, though you are self-aware and are already doing things in your life that will assist you.
Not officially diagnosed, at 53, going through the process. I am positive I have delayed processing; I am terrible when I’m put on the spot and a neuropsych eval revealed my adult son has working memory and executive function issues, scored low on that portion of one of the tests. Although I’m not “official”, I strongly suspect I am and the masking thing is what actually led me to believe I am bc last year I spent months with a therapist trying to figure out why I can’t be my true self. I kept asking “but why can’t I just be myself?” I would say that was the defining moment that led me to pursue formal diagnosis and further research. I appreciate you all so much as an older adult, and the ways autism has touched my life in so many ways (pretty sure my sister is too, long story there) cannot be understated.
I have so many autistic traits; yet, I don't seem to be as troubled by the eye contact like most people on the spectrum [among other things], so I "didn't fit in" there either, and it made it hard for me to determine who I was, where I belonged, or even if I belonged. But, after much searching, I found Dr. Benjamin Neeley [Camas, WA.] who is licensed to do assessments via telehealth in several states. He specializes in adult assessments only and helps to differentiate between OCD, ADHD, and autism. It was an expensive out of pocket expense for me [first one only acknowledged what I already knew and minimized my questions].
This is an historic video. Where have you ever seen four NDs together with a world of chatters online watching???? OMG!!! IM SO EXCITED TO SEE!!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE I smiled like an idiot the whole time and laughed out loud numerous times!!!!!!!
I definitely feel the "You mean suffering like this _isn't_ normal?" vibe. So many things I just thought everybody went through, but have been gradually developing the understanding that it's pretty specific to neurodivergent people (especially adult/late diagnosed). I also loved the constructive interference conversation. The BS radar thing is so true, too (I tend to say that I have X-ray vision precisely because I see through the bullshit that other people are slinging; I'm frequently not convinced that they themselves even see it). Also, while there's nothing wrong with working hard or trying, it's important to remember a few things related to that. Let's start with the "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" saying. That was *always* a derisive joke, coined by the labor side of the equation to ridicule toxic assertions made by the capitalist/owner class side. It's literally not possible to pull yourself up by your bootstraps (they're on your boots, not above you; it would require cartoon physics to be real). That saying has been _coopted_ unironically by the Modernist project (or in more current terms, _neoliberal_ thought and values) and Capitalist thought as part of _blaiming victims_ of that system for the problems they experience, rather than acknowledging that the system itself harms large swaths of people or is in need of reformation or overhaul. The truth is, in sociogical terms, *it doesn't work* (never did). It was always bullshit. We as humans are necessarily mutualistic, dependent on one another to live. The _personal responsibilty_ push was always a toxic artifact of an inhumane system used to subordinate the many to the whims of a privileged few. Don't listen to these stupid lies; they're killing us all, not just neurodivergent people. Stupid little fact: Slap Yo Mamma is also the name of a spice mix. My sister-in-law is obsessed with it, using it in nearly everything (overusing it IMO). Personally, I like more subtle flavors, and varieties of them, but YMMV.
A. The moon being in retrograde was a joke and said very obtuse on purpose. B. Highly aware of the impossible physics of pulling oneself up by the bootstraps as well as the history. However, do you think an argument could be made for the shift in meaning as happens with implications of nomenclature over time? I'm not saying that is or isn't the definitive case here. I understand the physics and inference of working oneself beyond capacity... But is there room to consider a shift in the culture of the phraseology?
@@NeurodiverJENNt WRT A: I didn't mention the moon in retrograde thing (and I assumed it was a joke, since it can't go retrograde). Was that maybe directed at another comment? WRT B: Fair enough, but it does not seem to be common knowledge, at least as far as I can tell, and it wasn't obvious from your use of it that you were aware of its original meaning. Perhaps you were joking there, too. I think that term is used very, very commonly _without_ reference to that original meaning, and without understanding that it should be questioned. The mainstream meaning of it surely doesn't seem to understand its history (and I hope you'll pardon me for what seemed like a reasonable assumption that your use matched the mainstream usage). With that phrase, no, I don't personally think there *is* room for a shift in meaning with it, at least not one that loses track of its roots. There remains a pervasive assumption supporting the untenable _personal responsibilty_ narrative that I consider profoundly unhealthy and uncritical of the status quo, and the systems that *continue* to plague us all. Again, it's bad for everyone, regardless of neurology, and if we allow it to go unchallenged, it will *remain* bad for everyone. But it is especially bad for neurodivergent people since it's part-and-parcel of problematizing difference, and blaming individuals for not fitting in. Use the phrase as you please, but I consider it a moral imperative to point out the (still to this day) toxic place it comes from (and thus I will continue challenging its use, though not your personal use of it, since you've expressed awareness of it).
@@icanhasutoobzwell shyt, you're correct about that first point. Second, I can totally respect your desire to educate others on the meaning behind that phrase, and there was no way for you to know my knowledge of the history of the word based on how I used it. I do think we could have a conversation on locus of control and personal responsibility alongside the need for community, and find areas where we could agree to disagree but I'll save that for another day. I appreciate the respectful conversation.
@@NeurodiverJENNt I suspect in a longer, more nuanced conversation we would have little that we would _need_ to agree to disagree about. I'm certainly not against the idea of people taking responsibility for their own words and actions (I'm a pretty big proponent of it, actually), just the notion that these things happen in a social vacuum, and that individuals can take _personal_ responsibility for _systemic_ issues (which, unfortunately, seems to be the most common context for which such phrases are deployed, at least AFAICT). But as you said: another day. Meanwhile, I'm happy to accept a shift in meaning WRT to that and similar phrases as soon as they are no longer being used in the mainstream unironically, and the problematic expectations surrounding them cease to be a thing. It's the unspoken expectations and assumptions that tend to accompany such phrases that rub me the wrong way, not the phrases per se (and not the individuals using them, but the societal inertia that keeps them going).
I'm autistic with intellectual disability and adhd. Diagnosed in march 2024. My interest is witchcraft and to an extent violin. I can't mask but according to the cat q I am a high masker. No one in my work history likes me and I come across as antisocial. I can't communicate, I only talk if I ask questions about the job I'm doing.
I’m currently grappling with immense challenges. I have ADHD and just received my ASD 1 diagnosis. For the past 18 years, I’ve been in the car business, starting from a sales position and eventually working my way up to managing large dealership groups. I’ve been known for my vast knowledge and remarkable ability to accomplish seemingly impossible tasks. However, I kept burning out without understanding the underlying cause. Now, I feel like I’ve lost my intelligence and the capacity to handle the stressors. It’s as if I’ve completely lost my sense of self. Everyone I’ve helped make a good life for themselves and their families has turned their backs on me and now feel alone.
Learning I was ADHD in my late 40's ended up making me feel even worse, because I felt like I didn't even fit in there. I would compare myself to others with ADHD, thinking they seemed to be so much more capable in areas where I struggled. There was always that missing piece and that missing piece was autism. Until I learned that, I continued to put unrealistic expectations on myself, blaming myself for "not measuring up". It also kept me from finding my own tribe.
"Flashbacks to Uni" with the keyboard. Holy shit! I was in the dorm in the US sharing a room and the roommate would stay up ALL night writing her papers and it was....just pure agony with the keyboard. I totally feel the keyboard CPTSD
Orion re: constructive interference, the word you want is amplitude not frequency. Converging waves get higher amplitude, the wave gets bigger on the Y axis. Frequency would be the same amplitude but faster. Thank you for being an autistic page where I can share this without (hopefully) being labeled a jerk.
1:02:03 For older people like Orion and me, a childhood diagnosis would probably have resulted in our being put in some sort of a special school or even institutionalised, all the better to be abused. Neuro-divergence wasn't well understood back then, so even if you didn't end up under the purview of a bunch of sadists, they just didn't have a lot to help you.
I think the main thing with late diagnosed autism and or adhd its more so about identifying and focusing on the main bad or unfavourable behaviours that affect daily life rather than adding or self diagnosing behaviours that come and go or could be expressed by most people some of the time.
Authenticity, honesty is a kind of LOVE … so although people have said authenticity is higher than love, seems to me that being authentic and being able to be authentic is the highest form of love. The highest LOVe is being TRUE, being AUTHENTIC, being you and saying what is true. AUTHENTICITY as the highest form of LOVE 💗
Constructive interference?! 🤯 Wooooow!!! Omg! That is A MAI ZIIIING !!! Thank you Orion! (Also sort of, after the 🤯, seems so obvious! Because to be authentic means to be ONE with everything, connected, probably SUPER CONNECTED to all the energy there is, so... 🤯)
Q: I am really interested what NTs would think about this interaction. I know NDs communicate effortless with one another, as do NT's. Do we sound different to them when we are all talking together? Does that make sense?
Special Interest, Oh my goodness, anything that sparks my Interest "is my special interest". I go down the rabbit hole with any subject until I have filled my thirst for that topic.
19:23 Oh, Orion, I feel the pain of hearing people typing loudly. *I fucking hate it.* It's a form of torture for me. (Erm, yes, I think I might have some sensory issues.)
These points are all true, for actual waves using actual physics. The stuff about frequencies and love and authenticity etc, is unfortunately pseudoscience/BS. Ironically it came right before the 4 of them agreed that autistics have excellent BS detectors... I will be kind and suggest that they meant BS in terms of not being authentic, which they may be good at detecting. But BS in terms of being untrue, I'm afraid they missed a real corker there. It's true that certain people get along well, and I believe Orion when he says that he has a great time with authentic people and a horrible time with unauthentics. But authenticity has a wavelength that's 4000 x better than love?! I'd love to see the scientific paper describing the experiment, methods used, etc. (genuinely) This actually highlights the vulnerabilities of autistic people, in terms of sometimes being naive and less streetwise, autistic women are more vulnerable to abusive relationships, etc. Not that believing in pseudoscience necessarily matters in this case. Apart from that though, very insightful video. In fact even that part was interesting to watch, plus the fact that when autistic people interact the ticks or stims of one person can trigger sensitivities in another person so it's not necessarily plain sailing (this is an analogy, to illustrate that things dont always run smoothly!) but we saw that Orion was direct about how the keyboard sounds were affecting him and she took that feedback well and was appreciative of it.
Remember hearing I might have something called asperges in the early 80's but it wasn't recognized in the US yet. When the doctor explained it to my mother she refused to bring me back. Not sure if that's undiagnosed or untreated but I reckon it amounts to about the same thing. 49 now and having dealt with the gut issues that no one can explain for years finding the videos that discuss that aspect opened a flood gate. Now I need to discuss it with my GP and determine if there are treatment issues so that maybe I can unrestrict my diet and maybe reduce food related inflammation. Lots of masking and finding ways to camouflage the parts of my brain that ain't right only to have my gut give me away makes me feel a little betrayed but also a bit relieved. Maybe there's an answer to my food issues.
You can heal or ease these things you suffer with. Your brain and gut are very connected to mood and attention. Get to know your body and what it is trying to tell you - it holds all the answers. Try to prioritize the feeling of relaxation. Meditation or walking in nature can be a helpful way to calm the mind and have more clarity.
Orion trying to use "Slap your mama" at the end was just fantastic. I laughed so hard. 👏🏻 I'm from the Midwest in the US and we heard that a lot growing up like in the South. Now in Colorado. Haven't heard it in a while and honestly I'm not sure how to explain. I remember a commercial for some food though "it's so good it makes you wanna slap your mama!" 🤷🏼😝🕺🏻 Where on earth did this phrase come from?! If anyone knows the history, I'm legit very interested to know. Big word and language geek here.
Shift abputndiagnoses IS so important. It’s naming clusters of things instead f having to explain in one hour you have a words and it’s not a label, but a communicative tool that increases understanding and abilities to navigate and open up our worlds! Freedom in diagnoses.
My ADD brain just cannot handle the live streams. On the one hand, I wish I could participate and interact, but it's too much multi-tasking for me and I process too slowly for it.
Noise canceling headphones are so exspencive even Loops earplugs that i have ( everything better than nothing) and other things that are needing just to come through all the irritations and feelings erpvery day . If you earn not much money its allmost imposseble to buy one sadly 😢
I got headphones for $10. They are not noise cancelling but they block out more sound that Loops. Foam earplugs work well and are cheap. The only reason I got Loops were so I didn’t have bright earplugs in my ears.
Im glad we're differentiating between late diagnosed and non-late-diagnosed autistic people instead of lumping them together since they have totally unique struggles, psychological profiles and often vastly different levels of social intelligence
I do not understand why people struggle to differentiate level one ASD and ADHD. I certainly do not think they should be lumped together. I have a level 1 autism and while I have executive dysfunction, I have been assessed for ADHD thoroughly and there is no sign of it whatsoever.
@@gigahorse1475 I'm guessing it's because there are many people who have both level 1 ASD and ADHD, probably many who don't even know it because they weren't allowed to be diagnosed together before 2013 in the US. Somee people may then be most familiar with how the two present together, rather than just one or the other on their own. Though there are definitely some adhders who have more similar traits to autism than others, the criteria is still different and there are still many experiences that only one group really has when compared to the other. There are things that may result in a behavior that is similar or even the same, but the origin will be different, and finding the reason why it's being done is the key to telling the difference. It's not uncommon for people with ADHD or autism (especially when they're younger) to butt themselves into a conversation they weren't a part of. For those with ADHD, in the DSM this is listed as a result of impulsivity. For someone with autism, this may just be a result of not quite picking up on social cues OR a need to facilitate the correcting of information. As in, you overhear someone saying something incorrect and you just need to correct them and believe you're being helpful, and then become confused when the person you're correcting is hostile or annoyed. The action of butting into a conversation is the same but the reason it's being done and the experience of it is different.
I've been struggling with the possibility of my own Autism for about 20 years. My cousin who is Autistic told me that he thinks I'm Autistic then and that's when I started considering it. I'm 59 now and there was never good support for a level one or two Autistic. I was diagnosed with Bipolar in 1989 but they might have diagnosed me with Autism if they knew as much about it as they know now. I should mention that the meds for Bipolar have actually helped a lot with the Autistic problems. I even got much better grades in school because of the meds.
I’m really beginning to think that I am on the spectrum. My friends used to pick on me about having ADHD, squirrel! I have anxiety, depression, and I definitely go to worst case scenario, I’m very sensitive to people’s energies. I read the entire encyclopedia series, bonus books and all when I was a kid. I have a need to learn things. I’ve pushed myself from being a very shy child, to public speaking, acting, working in a profession where I talk to people constantly. My dad made me learn to give a firm hand shake and make eye contact for the work force. I have always walked on my tip toes, so I used to wear incredibly high heels because it felt more normal to me. I’m learning to walk heel to toe for my foot and ankle health. I’m very silly, sarcastic, and have that dark sense of humor. Question? Do any of you have difficulty watching the News and becoming overwhelmed? I’ve been this way since I was a child. My mom used to call me the computer who wore tennis shoes, after the movie with Kurt Russell. Comments appreciated.
the description of late diagnosed, ? You all look young. I’m very late diagnosed at 64, it’s a very difficult experience knowing I’ve lived more of my life than I have left to live. I’ve always been labeled as can’t fit into the team so as a nurse it was difficult, I knew all my procedures. I have masked myself for so long I don’t know how to live as an unmasked person. I tend to get in more verbal spats when I express the way I want to do my things in woodwork group. Ex teachers tell me to be quiet or stop talking when I answer a question, too quickly and it’s right, they get pissed off. I feel most at peace when I stitch or knit or be around my dogs and cooking food for my youngest son.
Hello!!! I love your videos so much. They have helped me beyond anything I've found so far. I was wondering what your insight is on Borderline Personality Disorder. Specifically about Borderline Empathy Paradox. Someone has mentioned it to me, and I know I understand you thoroughly. It's why I'm such an avid watcher since my late diagnosis. Is there anyway you could shed some light on that subject at all? Thank you so much for your contributions ❤️
Obviously Orion is talking about 1940 billion BC, when the constellation was formed. Looking great for his age. Always been one of my favourite constellations.
I self identified about 6 weeks ago, I'm 64 years old, and knew I was 'different' as a small child. Several years ago a psychologist told me 'maybe you're just on the spectrum somewhere', and I mistook it as 'just a little weird', resulting in my discounting something very important. Knowing now that I'm a high masking autistic, with all it's peaks and valleys, is like having your whole life story explained to you page by page.
Even in the Netherlands good health instans services are poor , not knowing anything about what autism is and how it affects our every day . Lots of mis diagnoses and antidepressiva later when you finally got the right diagnose .
I have to admit that I need to remind myself that content creators are deliberately looking good and that we don't see how they look on a bad day because otherwise I feel crappy because I'm always in dysregulated, chronically ill, mentally ill, gamer, couch potato mode. And since it's winter it's couch burrito. I can't watch the person in the bottom right corner because I know they're looking at a camera or screen but it looks like they're making eye contact with me and it weirds me out, lol. Also, I would 100% tune into a radio station to listen to Orion and music as long as it was ad-free, lol
I thought constructive interference multiplied the amplitude of the wave, not the frequency? Cause wavelength and frequency are mathematically related in a sine wave pattern, as the period of the cycle and the number of cycles in a certain span of time. The intensity of the waves, aka the amplitude, is a measure of how far up and down each wave oscillates. If you have the same frequency/wavelength curves superimposed, the highs will become higher and the lows will become lower due to the construction interference. Ack, physics is one of my special interests, can you tell? Idk for whatever reason, mathematics, physics, and life sciences are the way I make the most sense of the world. I think about them constantly, whether I'm considering why the weather is the way it is, or why condensation happens, or why my car radio is acting up and which routes to drive to improve my reception the fastest, or I'm thinking about the acceleration/deceleration of the car, the friction of the tires on the road under varying conditions, or maybe I'm just in the bathroom and find myself humming or singing a single note, trying to match the resonant frequency of the space where my sound amplifies in volume without effort, or maybe I'm matching pitch with my electric toothbrush motor, or a fan motor to try to get the sound waves to overlap perfectly, with no desynchronous pulses to indicate I'm out of tune... I think about light, sound, radiation, weather, genetics, natural selection, food chains, ecosystem balance, and chemical reactions all the time. Maybe I'm not doing the complicated arithmetics in my head, but the graphs and visual simulations absolutely live rent-free in my brain. Love the collab by the way! Was super cool to hear four different people on the spectrum answer such interesting questions together! Love to hear the variety of lived experiences, and will definitely be subscribing to everyone involved! :D
When will we talk about actual late diagnosed people. I wasn't diagnosed until 52. My parent's called me retarded as a child and I grew up believing that even though I have had many successful careers. I wish I was diagnosed in my 20s or 30s, it would have made life less painful and difficult
@MomontheSpectrum Yes, once you said that you might had been masking a bit more after the diagnosis, I realised that I'd been doing it as well, but in a weird way - putting a mask of a "more autistic person", or maybe "an autistic person other people want to see", and it still is NOT the real me... LOL, funny to suddenly see it. But I think it comes from the fact, that after 60 years of trying to fit in and pretending to be someone Im not, it seems almost impossible to figure out, WHO I ACTUALLY AM. Im planning to figure it out, with help of wonderful ppl like you guys ❤🔥
You know autistic people irritates the labels in clothing , seems in socks etcetera but what about spectacles and contactlenses ??? The sweaty feeling behind the glasses in the summer is one , pain behind the ears and on the nose but also if you can't wear an steal frame because of an allergie of metals etcetera . Is this reciniseble ?
Good points. The best I can offer is a suggestion that you go back to the optometrist where you got the glasses and get them to adjust the glasses so that they fit better and don't injure you. I've had some that, without adjustment, were really going to do me an injury. Especially initially, you might find it easier if you just put the glasses on for (say) reading and then take them off as soon as you've finished reading, rather than trying to wear them from the time you get up to the time you go to bed. I cannot come at contact lenses, full stop. Even if I could, I have a whole raft of eye problems and contacts wouldn't help, so I can't advise you in regard to them.
Seems there is a spectrum and level 1 autism and adhd merge in so many ways…. I have supposedly “add inattentive type” and baseline autism that the add meds do not treat…. Been diagnosed w bipolar2, possible borderline or narc (as per my own suggestions or worries), I’ve considered schizo affective and all of these have been on meds and various meds… and they never fully work for me. At the end of the day, I think y mild dysphoria in childhood came from aidhd in a neurotypical world
This live happened just over 2 weeks after my diagnosis. I have seen so many of their videos that have helped me a lot. Still helping me!
This was a great example of autistic late diagnosed adults having a warm conversation full of acceptance for each other. As a late diagnosed autistic adult still trying to find my way socially, this is inspirational for me about how good communication can be amongst autistic adults. You are all being wonderful role models and I thank you for that.
When I got diagnosed at 27, my clinician asked me "So what's your diagnosis?" I said well if I have it I've had it all my life. it's not like I've got cancer. He replied yes you are autistic, though you are self-aware and are already doing things in your life that will assist you.
This was like an ASD content creator all-star game! Loved this discussion! Thank you for putting it together Orion!
Not officially diagnosed, at 53, going through the process. I am positive I have delayed processing; I am terrible when I’m put on the spot and a neuropsych eval revealed my adult son has working memory and executive function issues, scored low on that portion of one of the tests.
Although I’m not “official”, I strongly suspect I am and the masking thing is what actually led me to believe I am bc last year I spent months with a therapist trying to figure out why I can’t be my true self. I kept asking “but why can’t I just be myself?” I would say that was the defining moment that led me to pursue formal diagnosis and further research. I appreciate you all so much as an older adult, and the ways autism has touched my life in so many ways (pretty sure my sister is too, long story there) cannot be understated.
I have so many autistic traits; yet, I don't seem to be as troubled by the eye contact like most people on the spectrum [among other things], so I "didn't fit in" there either, and it made it hard for me to determine who I was, where I belonged, or even if I belonged. But, after much searching, I found Dr. Benjamin Neeley [Camas, WA.] who is licensed to do assessments via telehealth in several states. He specializes in adult assessments only and helps to differentiate between OCD, ADHD, and autism. It was an expensive out of pocket expense for me [first one only acknowledged what I already knew and minimized my questions].
This is an historic video. Where have you ever seen four NDs together with a world of chatters online watching???? OMG!!! IM SO EXCITED TO SEE!!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE I smiled like an idiot the whole time and laughed out loud numerous times!!!!!!!
🥇Best AuDHD+ conversation group on TH-cam.
I definitely feel the "You mean suffering like this _isn't_ normal?" vibe. So many things I just thought everybody went through, but have been gradually developing the understanding that it's pretty specific to neurodivergent people (especially adult/late diagnosed).
I also loved the constructive interference conversation.
The BS radar thing is so true, too (I tend to say that I have X-ray vision precisely because I see through the bullshit that other people are slinging; I'm frequently not convinced that they themselves even see it).
Also, while there's nothing wrong with working hard or trying, it's important to remember a few things related to that.
Let's start with the "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" saying. That was *always* a derisive joke, coined by the labor side of the equation to ridicule toxic assertions made by the capitalist/owner class side. It's literally not possible to pull yourself up by your bootstraps (they're on your boots, not above you; it would require cartoon physics to be real). That saying has been _coopted_ unironically by the Modernist project (or in more current terms, _neoliberal_ thought and values) and Capitalist thought as part of _blaiming victims_ of that system for the problems they experience, rather than acknowledging that the system itself harms large swaths of people or is in need of reformation or overhaul.
The truth is, in sociogical terms, *it doesn't work* (never did). It was always bullshit. We as humans are necessarily mutualistic, dependent on one another to live. The _personal responsibilty_ push was always a toxic artifact of an inhumane system used to subordinate the many to the whims of a privileged few. Don't listen to these stupid lies; they're killing us all, not just neurodivergent people.
Stupid little fact: Slap Yo Mamma is also the name of a spice mix. My sister-in-law is obsessed with it, using it in nearly everything (overusing it IMO). Personally, I like more subtle flavors, and varieties of them, but YMMV.
A. The moon being in retrograde was a joke and said very obtuse on purpose.
B. Highly aware of the impossible physics of pulling oneself up by the bootstraps as well as the history. However, do you think an argument could be made for the shift in meaning as happens with implications of nomenclature over time? I'm not saying that is or isn't the definitive case here. I understand the physics and inference of working oneself beyond capacity... But is there room to consider a shift in the culture of the phraseology?
@@NeurodiverJENNt
WRT A: I didn't mention the moon in retrograde thing (and I assumed it was a joke, since it can't go retrograde). Was that maybe directed at another comment?
WRT B: Fair enough, but it does not seem to be common knowledge, at least as far as I can tell, and it wasn't obvious from your use of it that you were aware of its original meaning. Perhaps you were joking there, too. I think that term is used very, very commonly _without_ reference to that original meaning, and without understanding that it should be questioned. The mainstream meaning of it surely doesn't seem to understand its history (and I hope you'll pardon me for what seemed like a reasonable assumption that your use matched the mainstream usage).
With that phrase, no, I don't personally think there *is* room for a shift in meaning with it, at least not one that loses track of its roots. There remains a pervasive assumption supporting the untenable _personal responsibilty_ narrative that I consider profoundly unhealthy and uncritical of the status quo, and the systems that *continue* to plague us all. Again, it's bad for everyone, regardless of neurology, and if we allow it to go unchallenged, it will *remain* bad for everyone. But it is especially bad for neurodivergent people since it's part-and-parcel of problematizing difference, and blaming individuals for not fitting in.
Use the phrase as you please, but I consider it a moral imperative to point out the (still to this day) toxic place it comes from (and thus I will continue challenging its use, though not your personal use of it, since you've expressed awareness of it).
@@icanhasutoobzwell shyt, you're correct about that first point.
Second, I can totally respect your desire to educate others on the meaning behind that phrase, and there was no way for you to know my knowledge of the history of the word based on how I used it.
I do think we could have a conversation on locus of control and personal responsibility alongside the need for community, and find areas where we could agree to disagree but I'll save that for another day.
I appreciate the respectful conversation.
@@NeurodiverJENNt I suspect in a longer, more nuanced conversation we would have little that we would _need_ to agree to disagree about. I'm certainly not against the idea of people taking responsibility for their own words and actions (I'm a pretty big proponent of it, actually), just the notion that these things happen in a social vacuum, and that individuals can take _personal_ responsibility for _systemic_ issues (which, unfortunately, seems to be the most common context for which such phrases are deployed, at least AFAICT). But as you said: another day. Meanwhile, I'm happy to accept a shift in meaning WRT to that and similar phrases as soon as they are no longer being used in the mainstream unironically, and the problematic expectations surrounding them cease to be a thing. It's the unspoken expectations and assumptions that tend to accompany such phrases that rub me the wrong way, not the phrases per se (and not the individuals using them, but the societal inertia that keeps them going).
I'm autistic with intellectual disability and adhd. Diagnosed in march 2024. My interest is witchcraft and to an extent violin. I can't mask but according to the cat q I am a high masker. No one in my work history likes me and I come across as antisocial. I can't communicate, I only talk if I ask questions about the job I'm doing.
Sorry that no one in your workplace likes you, hope that changes
Love you all. Thanks for bringing to my world and probably many others much sanity. ❤
Thank you for doing this edit. I had to step away during the live bc it was overwhelming me, so I appreciate the opportunity to watch it this way.
Thanks for the chat, that was golden!
Yayyyy! I’ve been looking forward to this after I had to sleep through the livestream! So cool to have you all together!
"Taylor, How fast does the lawyer need it?" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
I’m currently grappling with immense challenges. I have ADHD and just received my ASD 1 diagnosis. For the past 18 years, I’ve been in the car business, starting from a sales position and eventually working my way up to managing large dealership groups. I’ve been known for my vast knowledge and remarkable ability to accomplish seemingly impossible tasks. However, I kept burning out without understanding the underlying cause. Now, I feel like I’ve lost my intelligence and the capacity to handle the stressors. It’s as if I’ve completely lost my sense of self. Everyone I’ve helped make a good life for themselves and their families has turned their backs on me and now feel alone.
I am so glad I zoned back in for when "constructive interference" was discussed. My mitochondria are vibing with this right now. Thank youuuu
Learning I was ADHD in my late 40's ended up making me feel even worse, because I felt like I didn't even fit in there. I would compare myself to others with ADHD, thinking they seemed to be so much more capable in areas where I struggled. There was always that missing piece and that missing piece was autism. Until I learned that, I continued to put unrealistic expectations on myself, blaming myself for "not measuring up". It also kept me from finding my own tribe.
Thank you for making this video. I really enjoyed it!
"Flashbacks to Uni" with the keyboard. Holy shit! I was in the dorm in the US sharing a room and the roommate would stay up ALL night writing her papers and it was....just pure agony with the keyboard. I totally feel the keyboard CPTSD
Orion re: constructive interference, the word you want is amplitude not frequency. Converging waves get higher amplitude, the wave gets bigger on the Y axis. Frequency would be the same amplitude but faster. Thank you for being an autistic page where I can share this without (hopefully) being labeled a jerk.
Thank you for putting this together. :)
1:02:03 For older people like Orion and me, a childhood diagnosis would probably have resulted in our being put in some sort of a special school or even institutionalised, all the better to be abused. Neuro-divergence wasn't well understood back then, so even if you didn't end up under the purview of a bunch of sadists, they just didn't have a lot to help you.
3:28 Cool that you worked in radio, Orion. I’ve always been told that I had a face for radio, but I never went anywhere with it.
I think the main thing with late diagnosed autism and or adhd its more so about identifying and focusing on the main bad or unfavourable behaviours that affect daily life rather than adding or self diagnosing behaviours that come and go or could be expressed by most people some of the time.
Authenticity, honesty is a kind of LOVE … so although people have said authenticity is higher than love, seems to me that being authentic and being able to be authentic is the highest form of love.
The highest LOVe is being TRUE, being AUTHENTIC, being you and saying what is true.
AUTHENTICITY as the highest form of LOVE 💗
Constructive interference?! 🤯 Wooooow!!! Omg! That is A MAI ZIIIING !!! Thank you Orion! (Also sort of, after the 🤯, seems so obvious! Because to be authentic means to be ONE with everything, connected, probably SUPER CONNECTED to all the energy there is, so... 🤯)
Q: I am really interested what NTs would think about this interaction. I know NDs communicate effortless with one another, as do NT's. Do we sound different to them when we are all talking together? Does that make sense?
I thought this was a new collaboration then realized the last one was edited. Everyone is in different quarters of the screen this time.
Absolutely Orion!❤ Being authentic is important
Special Interest, Oh my goodness, anything that sparks my Interest "is my special interest". I go down the rabbit hole with any subject until I have filled my thirst for that topic.
19:23 Oh, Orion, I feel the pain of hearing people typing loudly. *I fucking hate it.* It's a form of torture for me. (Erm, yes, I think I might have some sensory issues.)
Hey brother Orion. I think it might be double the amplitude (power) when the 2 waves at the save frequency match, or sync up. 🙏🙏🙏👍😄
They can also cancel out when they don’t exactly align. Being the same frequency or different frequencies. Out of phase.
They can also add with different frequencies but not for full amount of each wavelength.
These points are all true, for actual waves using actual physics. The stuff about frequencies and love and authenticity etc, is unfortunately pseudoscience/BS. Ironically it came right before the 4 of them agreed that autistics have excellent BS detectors...
I will be kind and suggest that they meant BS in terms of not being authentic, which they may be good at detecting. But BS in terms of being untrue, I'm afraid they missed a real corker there.
It's true that certain people get along well, and I believe Orion when he says that he has a great time with authentic people and a horrible time with unauthentics. But authenticity has a wavelength that's 4000 x better than love?! I'd love to see the scientific paper describing the experiment, methods used, etc. (genuinely)
This actually highlights the vulnerabilities of autistic people, in terms of sometimes being naive and less streetwise, autistic women are more vulnerable to abusive relationships, etc. Not that believing in pseudoscience necessarily matters in this case.
Apart from that though, very insightful video. In fact even that part was interesting to watch, plus the fact that when autistic people interact the ticks or stims of one person can trigger sensitivities in another person so it's not necessarily plain sailing (this is an analogy, to illustrate that things dont always run smoothly!) but we saw that Orion was direct about how the keyboard sounds were affecting him and she took that feedback well and was appreciative of it.
Sorry I missed this! You four ROCK! Thanks for doing this.
This made my day, all my favorite people in one place!!!❤
Remember hearing I might have something called asperges in the early 80's but it wasn't recognized in the US yet. When the doctor explained it to my mother she refused to bring me back. Not sure if that's undiagnosed or untreated but I reckon it amounts to about the same thing. 49 now and having dealt with the gut issues that no one can explain for years finding the videos that discuss that aspect opened a flood gate. Now I need to discuss it with my GP and determine if there are treatment issues so that maybe I can unrestrict my diet and maybe reduce food related inflammation. Lots of masking and finding ways to camouflage the parts of my brain that ain't right only to have my gut give me away makes me feel a little betrayed but also a bit relieved. Maybe there's an answer to my food issues.
You can heal or ease these things you suffer with. Your brain and gut are very connected to mood and attention. Get to know your body and what it is trying to tell you - it holds all the answers. Try to prioritize the feeling of relaxation. Meditation or walking in nature can be a helpful way to calm the mind and have more clarity.
This is the best. Authentiek.
Orion trying to use "Slap your mama" at the end was just fantastic. I laughed so hard. 👏🏻
I'm from the Midwest in the US and we heard that a lot growing up like in the South. Now in Colorado. Haven't heard it in a while and honestly I'm not sure how to explain. I remember a commercial for some food though "it's so good it makes you wanna slap your mama!" 🤷🏼😝🕺🏻
Where on earth did this phrase come from?! If anyone knows the history, I'm legit very interested to know. Big word and language geek here.
Shift abputndiagnoses IS so important. It’s naming clusters of things instead f having to explain in one hour you have a words and it’s not a label, but a communicative tool that increases understanding and abilities to navigate and open up our worlds! Freedom in diagnoses.
My ADD brain just cannot handle the live streams. On the one hand, I wish I could participate and interact, but it's too much multi-tasking for me and I process too slowly for it.
Noise canceling headphones are so exspencive even Loops earplugs that i have ( everything better than nothing) and other things that are needing just to come through all the irritations and feelings erpvery day . If you earn not much money its allmost imposseble to buy one sadly 😢
I got headphones for $10. They are not noise cancelling but they block out more sound that Loops. Foam earplugs work well and are cheap. The only reason I got Loops were so I didn’t have bright earplugs in my ears.
Im glad we're differentiating between late diagnosed and non-late-diagnosed autistic people instead of lumping them together since they have totally unique struggles, psychological profiles and often vastly different levels of social intelligence
Huh didn't think about that
@smartsmartie7142 what, all of it or something in particular about it?
I didn't think about how an early diagnosis affects people. I am currently finding out I am autistic so it's interesting to me.
@@smartsmartie7142 ah gochu
I'm so sad I missed this live stream. I will be on the next one 🥺😭
Watching this the first time: Was Love
Watching this the second time: Was Authentic!
I do not understand why people struggle to differentiate level one ASD and ADHD. I certainly do not think they should be lumped together. I have a level 1 autism and while I have executive dysfunction, I have been assessed for ADHD thoroughly and there is no sign of it whatsoever.
I agree. I have ASD level 1, and it’s definitely not the same thing as ADHD.
@@gigahorse1475 I'm guessing it's because there are many people who have both level 1 ASD and ADHD, probably many who don't even know it because they weren't allowed to be diagnosed together before 2013 in the US. Somee people may then be most familiar with how the two present together, rather than just one or the other on their own. Though there are definitely some adhders who have more similar traits to autism than others, the criteria is still different and there are still many experiences that only one group really has when compared to the other. There are things that may result in a behavior that is similar or even the same, but the origin will be different, and finding the reason why it's being done is the key to telling the difference. It's not uncommon for people with ADHD or autism (especially when they're younger) to butt themselves into a conversation they weren't a part of. For those with ADHD, in the DSM this is listed as a result of impulsivity. For someone with autism, this may just be a result of not quite picking up on social cues OR a need to facilitate the correcting of information. As in, you overhear someone saying something incorrect and you just need to correct them and believe you're being helpful, and then become confused when the person you're correcting is hostile or annoyed. The action of butting into a conversation is the same but the reason it's being done and the experience of it is different.
@orionkelly "I feel like im the keyboard" 😂😂😂 Yey!
Just started watching this. Not seen Claire's channel before, subbed now.
'Delayed processor' I like that phrase
I've been struggling with the possibility of my own Autism for about 20 years. My cousin who is Autistic told me that he thinks I'm Autistic then and that's when I started considering it. I'm 59 now and there was never good support for a level one or two Autistic. I was diagnosed with Bipolar in 1989 but they might have diagnosed me with Autism if they knew as much about it as they know now. I should mention that the meds for Bipolar have actually helped a lot with the Autistic problems. I even got much better grades in school because of the meds.
I’m really beginning to think that I am on the spectrum. My friends used to pick on me about having ADHD, squirrel! I have anxiety, depression, and I definitely go to worst case scenario, I’m very sensitive to people’s energies. I read the entire encyclopedia series, bonus books and all when I was a kid. I have a need to learn things. I’ve pushed myself from being a very shy child, to public speaking, acting, working in a profession where I talk to people constantly. My dad made me learn to give a firm hand shake and make eye contact for the work force. I have always walked on my tip toes, so I used to wear incredibly high heels because it felt more normal to me. I’m learning to walk heel to toe for my foot and ankle health. I’m very silly, sarcastic, and have that dark sense of humor. Question? Do any of you have difficulty watching the News and becoming overwhelmed? I’ve been this way since I was a child. My mom used to call me the computer who wore tennis shoes, after the movie with Kurt Russell. Comments appreciated.
the description of late diagnosed, ? You all look young. I’m very late diagnosed at 64, it’s a very difficult experience knowing I’ve lived more of my life than I have left to live. I’ve always been labeled as can’t fit into the team so as a nurse it was difficult, I knew all my procedures. I have masked myself for so long I don’t know how to live as an unmasked person. I tend to get in more verbal spats when I express the way I want to do my things in woodwork group. Ex teachers tell me to be quiet or stop talking when I answer a question, too quickly and it’s right, they get pissed off. I feel most at peace when I stitch or knit or be around my dogs and cooking food for my youngest son.
What if you taught woodworking your way? I bet people would sign up :) We all have our hidden talents.
The worst thing about it is that i spend years and years fore an assaynment but the psychic nurse just wouldnt listen and refused a test !
You guys are a hoot. Have none of that anymore, sadly. 😂 📻 🎶 💿
Hello!!! I love your videos so much. They have helped me beyond anything I've found so far. I was wondering what your insight is on Borderline Personality Disorder. Specifically about Borderline Empathy Paradox. Someone has mentioned it to me, and I know I understand you thoroughly. It's why I'm such an avid watcher since my late diagnosis. Is there anyway you could shed some light on that subject at all? Thank you so much for your contributions ❤️
Obviously Orion is talking about 1940 billion BC, when the constellation was formed. Looking great for his age. Always been one of my favourite constellations.
I self identified about 6 weeks ago, I'm 64 years old, and knew I was 'different' as a small child. Several years ago a psychologist told me 'maybe you're just on the spectrum somewhere', and I mistook it as 'just a little weird', resulting in my discounting something very important.
Knowing now that I'm a high masking autistic, with all it's peaks and valleys, is like having your whole life story explained to you page by page.
Even in the Netherlands good health instans services are poor , not knowing anything about what autism is and how it affects our every day . Lots of mis diagnoses and antidepressiva later when you finally got the right diagnose .
Omg was waiting for this.
Just a random piece of info. There's a hot sauce and seasoning here in America called 'Slap Yo' Mama'.
The whole gang is there lol let’s goooo
Lmao "it's vibes"
1:01:27 I'm assuming saying "a kid back in the 1940s" is a hyperbolic joke? or is he just a really spry 80 year old ? lol
I was joking.
Maybe that’s why life coaches like Tony Robins or TV evangelist do really well because they come across as authentic.
I have to admit that I need to remind myself that content creators are deliberately looking good and that we don't see how they look on a bad day because otherwise I feel crappy because I'm always in dysregulated, chronically ill, mentally ill, gamer, couch potato mode. And since it's winter it's couch burrito.
I can't watch the person in the bottom right corner because I know they're looking at a camera or screen but it looks like they're making eye contact with me and it weirds me out, lol.
Also, I would 100% tune into a radio station to listen to Orion and music as long as it was ad-free, lol
Orion has some great videos, referred to as unmasked, unwatchable. The podcasts are worth the content, even if commercials
@@TheVOLTAGEVIDEOSNot "unmaked" but "unmasked".
I'm also interested in the intersectionality in autoimmune disease and autism. My dad has psoriasis and my mom has several others. I have psoriasis.
Am glad am not the only person that hates typing sounds
I thought constructive interference multiplied the amplitude of the wave, not the frequency? Cause wavelength and frequency are mathematically related in a sine wave pattern, as the period of the cycle and the number of cycles in a certain span of time. The intensity of the waves, aka the amplitude, is a measure of how far up and down each wave oscillates. If you have the same frequency/wavelength curves superimposed, the highs will become higher and the lows will become lower due to the construction interference.
Ack, physics is one of my special interests, can you tell? Idk for whatever reason, mathematics, physics, and life sciences are the way I make the most sense of the world. I think about them constantly, whether I'm considering why the weather is the way it is, or why condensation happens, or why my car radio is acting up and which routes to drive to improve my reception the fastest, or I'm thinking about the acceleration/deceleration of the car, the friction of the tires on the road under varying conditions, or maybe I'm just in the bathroom and find myself humming or singing a single note, trying to match the resonant frequency of the space where my sound amplifies in volume without effort, or maybe I'm matching pitch with my electric toothbrush motor, or a fan motor to try to get the sound waves to overlap perfectly, with no desynchronous pulses to indicate I'm out of tune... I think about light, sound, radiation, weather, genetics, natural selection, food chains, ecosystem balance, and chemical reactions all the time. Maybe I'm not doing the complicated arithmetics in my head, but the graphs and visual simulations absolutely live rent-free in my brain.
Love the collab by the way! Was super cool to hear four different people on the spectrum answer such interesting questions together! Love to hear the variety of lived experiences, and will definitely be subscribing to everyone involved! :D
I’m all about #darkhumor and #dryhumor 😁
Jenn is now without yellow/blue in face , much better ❤
The "Charlie's Angels" live stream! 😋
(but is Orion "Charlie" or "Bosley"?
Hello from Queensland Australia
When will we talk about actual late diagnosed people. I wasn't diagnosed until 52. My parent's called me retarded as a child and I grew up believing that even though I have had many successful careers. I wish I was diagnosed in my 20s or 30s, it would have made life less painful and difficult
Visor for connecting to my bug headphones. I need a hat. Hats don’t fit over my headphones
Oh darn I can put my headphones in top of the hat. I was doing it in the wrong order. Lols
I have Tiffany on a cassette tape
I had her tape and I still have a bottle of Debbie Gibson’s Electric Youth perfume stashed somewhere 😂
Orion looks very young for being in his 80s 😂
@MomontheSpectrum Yes, once you said that you might had been masking a bit more after the diagnosis, I realised that I'd been doing it as well, but in a weird way - putting a mask of a "more autistic person", or maybe "an autistic person other people want to see", and it still is NOT the real me... LOL, funny to suddenly see it. But I think it comes from the fact, that after 60 years of trying to fit in and pretending to be someone Im not, it seems almost impossible to figure out, WHO I ACTUALLY AM. Im planning to figure it out, with help of wonderful ppl like you guys ❤🔥
Hello @Jennt from Colorado.
❤❤❤❤
I was giving ideas to Claire for products
I sense a 4X meltdown coming. 😅
You know autistic people irritates the labels in clothing , seems in socks etcetera but what about spectacles and contactlenses ??? The sweaty feeling behind the glasses in the summer is one , pain behind the ears and on the nose but also if you can't wear an steal frame because of an allergie of metals etcetera . Is this reciniseble ?
glasses/sunglasses !! I can't stand them.
Good points. The best I can offer is a suggestion that you go back to the optometrist where you got the glasses and get them to adjust the glasses so that they fit better and don't injure you. I've had some that, without adjustment, were really going to do me an injury. Especially initially, you might find it easier if you just put the glasses on for (say) reading and then take them off as soon as you've finished reading, rather than trying to wear them from the time you get up to the time you go to bed.
I cannot come at contact lenses, full stop. Even if I could, I have a whole raft of eye problems and contacts wouldn't help, so I can't advise you in regard to them.
Am so sad I missed this live
ASD creators... Unite!
Seems there is a spectrum and level 1 autism and adhd merge in so many ways…. I have supposedly “add inattentive type” and baseline autism that the add meds do not treat…. Been diagnosed w bipolar2, possible borderline or narc (as per my own suggestions or worries), I’ve considered schizo affective and all of these have been on meds and various meds… and they never fully work for me. At the end of the day, I think y mild dysphoria in childhood came from aidhd in a neurotypical world
Yay, so exciting, I know I'm so late
Can I ask, how hard was it to not talk over each other?
I was thinking about Homer Simpson recently and I think he may be autistic. He shows allot of signs! 😅
Maybe my opinion is skewed because my dad used to say homer was just like him and my dad is clearly autistic.
You know you're dealing with a southern girl when she says "goodness" as if god is an inappropriate word lol
It’s a Christian thing. “God” isn’t an inappropriate word, we just don’t like to use His name in vain as if His name is a curse word.
@@gigahorse1475 OK cultist
@@t-man5196 Hey, I just explained my beliefs to you in a nice and factual manner. Why resort to insulting me out of nowhere?
@@gigahorse1475 it's not an insult, just stating a fact
Autism and Adhd are kinda completely opposite, but also kinda very similar
"Autism and Adhd (...) kinda very similar"
Just like males and females...
I’m gluten free too because I have celiac!
Cake is gross. lol
I guys are suprer❤❤❤❤
The moon doesn’t go into retrograde. Why would one say that?
I actually meant to say Gatorade
@@NeurodiverJENNt lollll
This is too much, mate. Just saying. It’s just me. You’re doing a good job. But, I’m out. Cheers.
❤❤❤❤