Unlikely things to hear over a tannoy | Mock the Week - BBC

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ความคิดเห็น • 183

  • @iz723
    @iz723 7 ปีที่แล้ว +350

    Giving the space monster accidental laser surgery was hilarious

  • @Thegadgetman16
    @Thegadgetman16 7 ปีที่แล้ว +180

    "If you can understand this, I'm overqualified to make announcements."

  • @IlGreven
    @IlGreven 6 ปีที่แล้ว +151

    "We apologize for the bus breakdown; this is the replacement train service."

  • @nikbol43below
    @nikbol43below 4 ปีที่แล้ว +103

    I never knew what a tannoy was until I started watching Mock the Week.

    • @musefan12345
      @musefan12345 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      The correct term is “speaker system”. Tannoy is actually a brand name - Alan Partridge

    • @HarryNicNicholas
      @HarryNicNicholas 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      how annoying.

    • @clickbait007
      @clickbait007 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      "speaker system" works but I think the more accurate name would be "public address system" or "PA system". If you say "tannoy" outside the UK it leads to brain melt. Haha...

  • @Amadeus-ms9lt
    @Amadeus-ms9lt 7 ปีที่แล้ว +470

    The Land Rover line is too accurate. Wtf do so many Londoners have off-road vehicles despite never going off-road?

    • @johnnywoodchip8227
      @johnnywoodchip8227 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Amadeus190890 They buy them because apparently that makes them rich. In the country we use them for what there meant for. Also the Discovery is sort of a family car.

    • @Amadeus-ms9lt
      @Amadeus-ms9lt 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      But there are so many other off-road vehicles it makes no sense.

    • @johnnywoodchip8227
      @johnnywoodchip8227 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Amadeus190890 SUV's can be sporty not really utilitarian but are definitely vehicles.

    • @800Viffer
      @800Viffer 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Kumar never misses an opportunity to slip in a race, politics or 'class' joke. If only they were funny I could live with it/him

    • @saoirsedeltufo7436
      @saoirsedeltufo7436 5 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      800Viffer someone’s bitter... different people have different senses of humour - shame you don’t have one

  • @PSNragglefraggle1
    @PSNragglefraggle1 7 ปีที่แล้ว +55

    'This is the voice of the Mysterons, we know that you can hear us.'

    • @simeonbaumel7293
      @simeonbaumel7293 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      In 24 hours, Earth will be destroyed. Earth, you have 24 hours to live.

  • @chaomac
    @chaomac 7 ปีที่แล้ว +116

    seatbelt man wins

  • @edwardharriss1463
    @edwardharriss1463 5 ปีที่แล้ว +131

    "Could the owner of a Black Aston Martin please report to security we've had complaints of it continually firing rockets and torpedos at other cars"

    • @pfoster1666
      @pfoster1666 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      "Could the owner of a silver Delorean please report to security - you will be double-parked one year from now."

    • @pfoster1666
      @pfoster1666 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      "Could the owner of a black Pontiac Trans-Am please report to security - it keeps questioning the lineage of the parking attendant."

    • @carlhague9102
      @carlhague9102 ปีที่แล้ว

      This is a message for the owners of a black and red GMC van. Somebody has a problem where no one else can help and wants to hire you.

  • @fplzebra1940
    @fplzebra1940 7 ปีที่แล้ว +117

    Milton Jones is probably the funniest guy I've ever heard!

  • @CricketEngland
    @CricketEngland 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    “This is southern railways and we would like to apologise for the correct arrival time of the train into platform 18, and we hope this to never happen again”

  • @erikpark
    @erikpark 5 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    "To whoever left their pants in the men's lavatory, could you please pick them up, because we certainly won't."

  • @chrisgarton4225
    @chrisgarton4225 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    That man’s playing Galaga, he thought we wouldn’t notice, but we did.

  • @joetrp-3553
    @joetrp-3553 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Miltons word play is unmatched

  • @WxB2001
    @WxB2001 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    'Only you can hear me'

  • @Biglmpact
    @Biglmpact ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The southern rail bit gets me everytime xD

  • @andrewfenn3019
    @andrewfenn3019 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    BING BONG
    "This is not a drill. I repeat, this is not a drill. That was a bing bong machine. This is a drill."
    *makes a drill sound*

  • @jaggass
    @jaggass 6 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    ''I know your feeling suicidal and on train tracks but please stay on the line''

  • @smallspore
    @smallspore 7 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    Unlikely things to hear over a tannoy: EVERYONE JUST STAY CALM AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  • @RIXRADvidz
    @RIXRADvidz 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    things over a tannoy and instructions on a package, are my two favorite Things We'd Like To See. Hugh reading out what sounded like blithering gibberish was full on medical instructions for the use of the product., things over a tannoy, will the parents of the lost child that fell into the tiger enclosure please come collect their shoes...

  • @jaggass
    @jaggass 7 ปีที่แล้ว +129

    ''Can customers stop pretending to trip up on the floor to claim compensation? we're broke enough as it is''

  • @jonathancooper4914
    @jonathancooper4914 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    One of the better ones I’ve seen.

  • @paddyh8023
    @paddyh8023 6 ปีที่แล้ว +49

    Ladies and gentlemen, the train will be arriving in 5 minuites, which is a pitty cause this is Tesco.

    • @edwardharriss1463
      @edwardharriss1463 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Lay off it mate that's one of Frankie's old jokes

    • @WxB2001
      @WxB2001 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      I'm sure he knows

    • @insertausernamehere73
      @insertausernamehere73 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Barack Obama Is that the real official Obama from USA

    • @paddyh8023
      @paddyh8023 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@insertausernamehere73 Yes it is

    • @insertausernamehere73
      @insertausernamehere73 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Barack Obama Holy shit my guy. You’re so cool

  • @darthmarticusLFC
    @darthmarticusLFC 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    That pilot one was genius

  • @astrocitizen
    @astrocitizen 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Yeah, the Seatbelt-Man joke is good.... not the best but it does take a unique view of illuminated signs.

  • @CliftonPhotographer
    @CliftonPhotographer 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I can't believe Hugh's language, after all he's a doctor.....
    Oh wait this isn't My Hero!

  • @danpettitt7012
    @danpettitt7012 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    1:40 best one in my opinion

  • @87654321j
    @87654321j 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    3:15 could be used for public transport in Perth too 🤣

  • @alexandercosgrave
    @alexandercosgrave 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    "Welcome to Berlin station the next train is the 1939 service to Paris"

    • @Tcrumpen
      @Tcrumpen 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      "The new VW Serocco, Berlin to Warsaw in one tank" - Yes i know this was from Top Gear

  •  4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    The clip is a tad old but still has some very fun jokes :-D

  • @eamonahern7495
    @eamonahern7495 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    "F🤬 me, there's one coming!" 🤣

  • @stockcarben9025
    @stockcarben9025 7 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    This is Southern Rail everything is on time what the hell is going on.

    • @ethanch3011
      @ethanch3011 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      One day last week all NORTHERN rail trains were ACTUALLY ON TIME (from what I saw)

  • @chrisgarton4225
    @chrisgarton4225 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    (Nelson from The Simpsons impression)
    Ha ha!

  • @Writeous0ne
    @Writeous0ne 6 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    felicity ward looks like miltons daughter

  • @Most0riginalUsername
    @Most0riginalUsername 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Loved Tannoy Dave

  • @keirrobinson4156
    @keirrobinson4156 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    40 people own a Land Rover.

  • @greendart_
    @greendart_ 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    WHO IS SEATBELT MAN AND WHY AM I SCARED OF HIM

  • @justaconcernedkid5630
    @justaconcernedkid5630 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    0:45 that aged like milk damn

    • @kylestubbs8867
      @kylestubbs8867 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Can you explain that one?

    • @justaconcernedkid5630
      @justaconcernedkid5630 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@kylestubbs8867 Given the current situation lots more airlines have gone out of business

  • @jackywackydoodah2821
    @jackywackydoodah2821 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    1:40
    3:14

  • @shilohstore6086
    @shilohstore6086 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Any other American have to Google tannoy first 😂

    • @buybymail
      @buybymail 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Shiloh Store Googling Tannoy is meta. One genericised trademark to find information on another!

    • @debraburns2761
      @debraburns2761 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      No, I figured it out in my own.

    • @MikeDCWeld
      @MikeDCWeld 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@debraburns2761 it is pretty easy to get from context.

    • @davidshulimson9491
      @davidshulimson9491 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I skipped past this clip several times before I decided to see if I could figure out what tannoy means. This might be my favorite one!

  • @Tcrumpen
    @Tcrumpen 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Could the owner of the bright yellow Porsche coverable in the car park please note that you are having a mid life crisis and just accept it
    Would the owner of a black BMW please contact the security desk. Your indicators were just stolen. Not that you would realise

  • @FooBarBash
    @FooBarBash 7 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Who's the Aussie/Kiwi comedian, she's hilarious?

  • @williamcrowe2576
    @williamcrowe2576 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    "Will a Mr Michael Ellis please report to the Manager's Office? I'll repeat that... Will a Mr Nigel Mellish please report to the Manager's Office?"

  • @tizzieblack3384
    @tizzieblack3384 ปีที่แล้ว

    Want it back.😊

  • @denny52
    @denny52 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    the good old days... when mock of the week used to be good!

    • @shartsmcginty8056
      @shartsmcginty8056 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Those days were about 5 years before this.

    • @Master_Petes_Theater
      @Master_Petes_Theater 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Well, you needn't worry. The show has been cancelled.

  • @fkovacs1
    @fkovacs1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    " Will the vehicle with the really expensive audio system please turn your ULF bass down? Otherwise, we will shoot an arrow into it before you kill all the whales and dolphins ."

  • @TheLaughingMagpie
    @TheLaughingMagpie 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Only you can hear me

  • @dylantring7403
    @dylantring7403 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Who's the guy in the green top??

  • @brain_apostrophe_t
    @brain_apostrophe_t 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    AN AUSSIE!!!!

  • @adrianheeks
    @adrianheeks 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Nish Kumar.... Why?

  • @MissFaithLouise
    @MissFaithLouise 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Okay, just asking. What is a "tannoy"?

    • @Book7BrokeMyBrain
      @Book7BrokeMyBrain 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It's a public address system.

    • @harrybess283
      @harrybess283 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      an announcement microphone like on trains planes etc

    • @RIXRADvidz
      @RIXRADvidz 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      What is ''Google It''?

    • @kylestubbs8867
      @kylestubbs8867 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      British word for intercom.

  • @chrisgarton4225
    @chrisgarton4225 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Good evening everybody and welcome to The Whose Line Is It Anyway edition of Mock The Week!

  • @carriemitch1
    @carriemitch1 7 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Please someone upload the whole show!!!

    • @FloxPepper
      @FloxPepper 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Carrie Mitch just watch it on bbc iplayer

    • @carriemitch1
      @carriemitch1 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I would if I could, but unfortunately I'm not in the UK. But thanks for the suggestion, I appreciate it. I just wish BBC would let us in the US buy a subscription to the iplayer. Drats!

    • @RIXRADvidz
      @RIXRADvidz 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      they're all out there, just type in MOCK THE WEEK series 17, you'll get lots of hits

  • @reevethomas1083
    @reevethomas1083 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This is Virgin Trains, could all non-virgins please exit the train

  • @noname54eeee
    @noname54eeee 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    What the heck is a Tannoy?

  • @davidlance5310
    @davidlance5310 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    First joke’s my chat up line

  • @Fylde-qs4jx
    @Fylde-qs4jx 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    It was funny. Then Nish Kumar turned up.

  • @NosajKnows
    @NosajKnows 7 ปีที่แล้ว +74

    Probably the weakest round I've ever seen. Hugh was the only good one, Miles stole the 'bing bong' joke from Holly Walsh!

    • @romainsavioz5466
      @romainsavioz5466 7 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Nosaj only your point of view and maybe just had the same idea

    • @Katya_Lastochka
      @Katya_Lastochka 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Nosaj Not even. The sea and laser ones were good. Can't think of the other r.n.

  • @TheyCallMeCarg
    @TheyCallMeCarg 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Not being British I had to watch the video just to figure out what a tannoy is.

    • @RIXRADvidz
      @RIXRADvidz 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      one can just ''google'' the word. you'll get an accurate definition.

    • @TheyCallMeCarg
      @TheyCallMeCarg 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@RIXRADvidz I'd never even seen the word before, and watching the video gave me the definition I needed.

  • @raptor1672
    @raptor1672 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Why is Nish Kumar on anything?

  • @kian72olner
    @kian72olner 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    “Goal scorer for England is number 7 Raheem Sterling. Bulgaria, how shit can one team be. You’ve let Raheem Sterling score”

  • @jaggass
    @jaggass 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    ''Can Brian please report to the help desk? your mum wants to know what time you'll be home for tea''

  • @Nulono
    @Nulono 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    What the hell is a tannoy?

    • @kiarona.
      @kiarona. 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I googled it - apparently it's a public announcement system

  • @olliedylan1381
    @olliedylan1381 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Literally only watch for Milton

  • @Witnwisdom70
    @Witnwisdom70 7 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    Finally a funny female comedian

    • @craigk621
      @craigk621 7 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I thought she was the weakest, both jokes were basically the same.
      Still comedy is subjective.

    • @kingdomofskeough6880
      @kingdomofskeough6880 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Where?

    • @yoshiboy6198
      @yoshiboy6198 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Middle one on the left

    • @yoshiboy6198
      @yoshiboy6198 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Middle one on the left

    • @kingdomofskeough6880
      @kingdomofskeough6880 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      yoshiboy619 still don't see a funny comedian

  • @ethancatton5370
    @ethancatton5370 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    I don’t get the seatbelt man one

    • @whims_ii
      @whims_ii 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      When you're on the airplane someone always comes round and threatens you if you haven't got your seat belt on after the notice comes up

    • @RIXRADvidz
      @RIXRADvidz 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      When You Illuminate the Bat Signal , Bat man Comes , illuminate the seat belt sign....now where's that mop, Batman made another mess....

  • @jakamneziak
    @jakamneziak 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    'could a mrs McCann come to the reception desk please, a Mrs McCann we found your daughter!'

  • @316SR
    @316SR 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Nish is so UNFUNNY

  • @RD19902010
    @RD19902010 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Never heard of Felicity Ward. Most of her jokes here are terrible.

  • @youtubeviewer5861
    @youtubeviewer5861 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hey,I've got a land rover

  • @andrewhughes7092
    @andrewhughes7092 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Nish Kumar. NOT FUNNY. NEVER HAS BEEN, NEVER WILL BE.

  • @ronnierhino100
    @ronnierhino100 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    That Nish guy isn’t very funny is he?

  • @atahservices2840
    @atahservices2840 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Correction: RangeRover not Land Rover

    • @johnnywoodchip8227
      @johnnywoodchip8227 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeah

    • @Luke_-_
      @Luke_-_ 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      What's your point? Both off road vehicles.

    • @RIXRADvidz
      @RIXRADvidz 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      mercy. so touchy about their little vroom vroom cars. It's A RANGE Rover not a land rover. wha' evzz, it's just a car innit. burns gas, kills the environment, rubber tires, tarmack roads, heated garage, it's a just a car, innit.

  • @chrisgarton4225
    @chrisgarton4225 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Would all new england patriots fans please claim your tom brady jerseys as a compliment of our appreciation. Any fans of the other thirty-one NFL teams please get out, we only care about tom brady.

  • @theleonardsinclairexperien2982
    @theleonardsinclairexperien2982 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Qpu

  • @mow184
    @mow184 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Why does Nish Kumar even have a spot on this show, let alone a career?

  • @mrq.1236
    @mrq.1236 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Last

    • @RIXRADvidz
      @RIXRADvidz 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      but not least. Firsters are the winners of that award.

  • @AliMakaveli
    @AliMakaveli 7 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    *"Will all Virgin employees please report to the check in desk" would've made more sense*

    • @craigk621
      @craigk621 7 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      erm ... why ?

    • @clivetimbrell
      @clivetimbrell 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It's comedy. Not necessarily meant to make sense.

  • @chenelvamijnhijmer1997
    @chenelvamijnhijmer1997 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Second

  • @El-Tel63-Terry.
    @El-Tel63-Terry. 7 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Public address not "Tannoy"

    • @charlietolley3901
      @charlietolley3901 7 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Terry it's called a tannoy

    • @El-Tel63-Terry.
      @El-Tel63-Terry. 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Charlie Tolley Tannoy is a trade name of a public address system.

    • @charlietolley3901
      @charlietolley3901 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Terry Tannoy is the oldest and one of the most popular public address systems especially in England. Just like in America and various other countries, when there is a specific company which most people purchase for that produce.g Jello, most people just call that product by the company name

    • @El-Tel63-Terry.
      @El-Tel63-Terry. 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Charlie Tolley I'm fully aware of what Tannoy is thank you. People wrongly call public address systems " Tannoy " whether they are or not..... hence my original reply, people often call vacuuming " hoovering " whether they are using a " Hoover " or not..... do you now see my point ? (That's in the UK)

    • @romainsavioz5466
      @romainsavioz5466 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Terry and people are calling sticky tap scotch in France

  • @jgeeth
    @jgeeth 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Frankie Boyle would have made everything laugh 😂 🤔

    • @RIXRADvidz
      @RIXRADvidz 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Eau Gawd, you're STiLL Crying about Frankie leaving? STILL???