I think this is your best video yet. I do not bother calling people out on their masks any longer though. I am older now and have limited energy and even more limited patience, so I just try to keep a poker face and walk away. I'm terrible at hiding my disgust though, so they usually know I am repulsed by them. Another advantage of being older is that I no longer care if they know.
I can completely understand what you’re saying. I think that knowledge comes with INFJ experience. Thank you so much for saying this is your favorite video so far, I really appreciate that! Jay
I'm not young but I still call ppl out when necessary. It's the advocate side of me that won't let me just walk away. If someone is harming others with their toxic behavior, that person deserves to be called out on their bs.
I feel more and more like sarcasm is shared terrain when it comes INFJ. I classify mine as hopeful cynicism. Would love being in a whole room full of us sometime just to experience that vibe.
I feel the same way. I can relate to everything being said here. I know this will really help me. I was thinking I was just too different and didn't fit in with anyone.
I 100% concur. I love being an INFJ, however I'd argue that as long as you like the person you are, and have self-respect - youre gonna love whatever MBTI personality category you fall into. I ask this though: would you wish upon anyone to be an INFJ? // I don't know if I necessarily have an answer for this; but I truly do wish people could see the world thru my eyes. But I suppose that wouldn't be possible without similar personality traits.
"Not everyone will like you... " man if that's not the truth. I've always found it's odd how people come to dislike one for just being quiet. I always tend to be super introverted, especially in the most modest of crowds and people can't handle it. And then If I speak it's worse. There's just something about the way I speak. Just recently learned I was INFJ. My life makes so much sense now and I'm 50 years old.
Does reveal a lot when you find out you are an INFJ, thanks for watching. Don’t give up, just look for the few people who get you and enjoy your alone time! Jay
@@INFJcircle I wish! I've two boys, age 4 and turning 2. I don't mind them as they fit into my alone time. In the middle of an insane custody battle though ( for the second time) against some really challenging behavioral health issues. Despite having a clean bill of heath - being an INFJ aside 😋-- I still have all eyes on me and in my space. I don't know about other INFJs on this quality, but I don't like attention. Maybe when I was much younger I craved it some. But now, I don't like it. And, being in the midst of a doozy of a custody fight to protect my boys, I got all kinds of attention that I have to put on a happy face for. My typical RBF just won't cut it anymore. For my boys, I try like hell though. But, I get a little alone time watching these videos all about "me." I ravenously relish every moment I get for sure.
I lost my children Tuesday. I had no lawyer and all I could do was take more abuse and then let them rule against me. I had no evidence and no witnesses because my lawyers stopped working my case 2 weeks prior to discovery and my GoFundMe never gained traction. Everytime I tried to defend myself against the lies crafted to take my children from me, to present facts, I faced objection after objection. The judge on more than one occasions mocked and scoffed at me as I testified or attempted to present my case. She and opposing counsel also exchanged snide remarks in response to my testimony. I couldn't help but wonder the whole time: "is this because I'm an INFJ?" I felt like I was in grade school being bullied again with all the kids around me standing and pointing. Nope, as an INFJ hardly anyone will like you.
I completely agree … even when I keep a low profile and make light of any “ talents or interests” I have , I seem to be still upsetting someone ! I’m now 67 , and now that I look back , this has been a common feature in my life and genuinely, I don’t know why …. A friend of mine who was an actor once said to me that the one thing a lot of actors dislike is talent in others ….
INFJ, things I like in no particular order: the macabre, astrology, (I share that right away to weed out the close minded) deep psychology, esoteric knowledge, reading, painting, flavored hot tea, and cats. 🎉
10 yrs ago I was 27 and took a personality test a for the new HR guy. I tested to be INFJ. I didn’t pay much attention to it then, but I’ve always known I was a different. Lately I’ve been studying the infj personality and it is encouraging I am able to understand that it’s ok to daydream. I appreciate your channel
@mchubb8 literally same. People think I’m doing nothing but inside I’m rhyming and scheming 😆 (pulls a random Goldbergs episode reference outta nowhere)
One thing that instantly puts me, as an INFJ, into 'take no prisoners' mode is when I've seen through to someone else's dark secret, and I'm even willing to not acknowledge it, UNTIL THEY PROJECT IT ON TO ME. Nothing infuriates me more than having someone, to whom I am offering forbearance, tell me I'm the one who's guilty of something ugly that I KNOW they've been up to. I had an acquaintance once, who while I was at her house I heard her upstairs beating her dog. I heard the beating and I heard the dog whimpering. Later that evening she made a comment about how I 'don't like dogs'. I love dogs, but I neither overly indulge them nor do I beat them. I kind of lost it and right in the middle of a restaurant I told her to her face that I heard her beating her dog. I probably wouldn't have said anything about it, although I'm sure I wouldn't have continued to be friendly with her after that. But SHE DUMPED ME for confronting her.
I can relate to this. Unfortunately this sort of thing happens to INFJs a lot. This sounds like a particularly difficult situation. This person sounds like they definitely had some narcissistic traits. Anytime someone is toxic it’s good to be away from that person, so I don’t think you had a big loss by losing out on this relationship!
@@INFJcircle I can't even count the number of narcissists I've had in my life. Sad to say, this kind of thing happens to me a lot. And honestly I feel like crap for a long time after these occurrences, meanwhile the narcissists just shrugs it off and goes their merry way. I'm left wondering WHY DOES THIS STUFF KEEP HAPPENING TO ME. Now, I'm much more standoffish when it comes to letting people in my life. But, I'm still walking around with an INFJ cosmic 'kick me' sign on my back.
@@INFJcircle I think she said I didn't like dogs because I think I made a face when this woman allowed her dog to eat off the kitchen counter. I didn't actually say anything. I love animals but I don't let them on the counter at my house. But I don't tell others what standards to hold in their own houses, but I can't help involuntary facial expressions.
@@cynthiajohnson9412sounds like you’re better off with that person out of your life! But,hey, I’m a picky INFJ and good friendships are hard to come by. Good that we’re not so dependent on a crowd.
@@rachelclare8795 Thanks. This happened when I had moved to a different state and literally didn't know a single person. I was going through a divorce and very vulnerable. And I didn't really understand back then that the people with room in their lives for new people, let's be frank, are mostly people with serious personality disorders who can't keep friends and people in their lives. Sad but true. My vibe was so wonky back then I even had a old guy touch me inappropriately at the library when I was helping him with something on the computer. And I was like Lord have mercy, what kind of weak messages am I putting out to the universe? I had a couple of not good experiences with emotionally volatile, unstable people. Then when my vibe got better I had of group of friends who caused me what I call 'second tier narcissistic abuse' - people who's abusive and controlling spouses ended up treating me badly. Right now, over the last few years, I've gone back and rid my life of some narcissistic relationships that I've held on to for many, many years that kept pulling me down no matter how hard I tried to cleanse my energy. So I'm going solo until I get myself in a strong vibrational pattern. Then I'll see who I attract. But no more just being open to whoever shows an interest in me. Those days are gone forever.
Personality is from latin root word "persona," meaning "mask"... INFJs as people often see through the masks(persona-lities) others put on and why they put them on. It's a great power that comes with a considerable amount of emotional, mental & spiritual burden/responsibility.
Yeah, I agree. We see through the smoke and mirrors very quickly, unless we have a romantic relationship... then we seem to only see the good, as opposed to the full picture, sadly, lol.
I once had a friend who asked me “why don’t people like me?” I replied “because you are an obnoxious person, you know you are” They were stunned as they thought they were “a laugh” Oh, and that was the end of the friendship. 🤦♂️
I have had to talk myself out of saying something damaging on many occasions. I don't like to be that person but the devil on my shoulder really does know how to cut deep in people's soul.
I'm the same, being utterly perplexed as to why someone wouldn't heed my warnings. I think it's because we love to be kind, and others mistakingly take our kindness for weakness... their error, obviously, lol.
As an INFJ, this is hilarious! It's strange to be on the other side for once, having my own thoughts understood so well. I'm usually the one figuring people out!! LOL. I am laughing but I am honestly tearing up right now, you are brining so much of healing. You're the best!
Thank you my friend, yes, it means a lot to have someone understand us. I thank all of you for watching and commenting, so I feel related to as well! Jay
Thanks Jay! It is really validating to know I'm not the only one given the cold shoulder for seeing through people's BS. I'd like to say watch out for toxic people who lure others by falsely "mirroring" your likes and interests. Some are so good at the act they can even fool an INFJ who is just so glad someone finally "gets" them. It just gets worse from there, and they won't get better no matter what you do. It's worth sticking with your boundaries and waiting for authentic and truly kind people that really do get you, and love you for it.
You are absolutely correct. Some of those narcissists are geniuses with mirroring back who they want you to think they are. I’ve had a few of those relationships. The covert ones are the worst, they are the ones who can really fool you. So glad that I woke up and I now understand being an INFJ so much more and I really appreciate everything about myself. It ended, of course, in an ugly manner, because that’s what those demons do.
I totally agree. I have had my share of people (narcs) do the whole mirroring/copycat routine on me. I am much quicker at spotting this behavior than in the past, I’ve had it happen to me many times. It’s so maddening because it’s basically stealing from others and often done out of jealousy/envy. Once I see this pattern, I distance myself from them immediately💯
SO much healing here...thank you!! I was in love with a man who had impure motives and was lying to himself. He truly loved me I believe, but he hated that I could see right through him. He told me I was telling him too much. Too many uncomfortable truths too quickly. 😢 And he broke up with me. Well. What can I say? NOW.... I get it. I'm an INFJ...but before I knew how I was wired...and how some people react when they come into close contact with an INFJ...I could NEVER understand why people called me psychic. Or intimidating. Or wicked. (Seriously...a pastor called me a Jezebel and I was a mom with two toddlers trying to be a good wife, mom, and Christian! So confusing.) I was bewildered by people's reactions to me and started to believe I was some kind of toxic being...a blight on humanity maybe. But I'm not. I'm none of those things. Geesh. 🙄 I'm an INFJ. And probably a descendant of women who were tortured for being "witches." But I'm also a woman with feelings and I'm trying my best to live a good life in a world that, like my old prom dress, doesn't quite fit right.
Thanks for that deep and insightful comment. What you’re describing is certainly the life of an INFJ. Being misunderstood, mislabeled, it seems to be part of our life. Still, we can only truly interact and grow close to with those who mesh with our personality. And since we like to be alone, I guess that works out pretty well anyway, but keep your eye out for people who do understand you and accept you for who you are. Stay strong! Thanks for watching. Jay
You sound very much like me. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told I’m intimidating and honestly I don’t feel like I’m that at all in fact, sometimes I worry that I’m too soft. But then I realize that the reason they’re saying we are intimidating is because we are so genuine and honest, and can see through people that we just say things or phrase things like it is. We don’t have a mask that we’re hiding behind…. and even though we love words and language, we can also just cut to the point. That’s why, and now I understand it more fully, it’s so important to love ourselves, completely accept our good stuff, weird stuff, and shadows and know that we are ok…no change needed. The Right people will stay and want to be near you, and the wrong ones will be weeded out, that’s how I have to look at it now. Actually dated a guy for a long time and he hated when I used the word “weird”…. He just hated it for some reason. He also hated when I would respond “Really?” if he was telling me something cool, like a story or something. I realized he had some odd connection and understanding of what those words meant to him. Weird to me means something is off, not exactly in pattern with what normally occurs. And when I say really? It’s just like exciting response…like oh really?! He took it as me thinking he was lying. It made no sense to me whatsoever. Other than he was obviously paranoid that I thought he was lying all the time….ummm…because he was. And I can’t really explain why he hated the word weird. i’ve always sort of like that word.
I have mixed feelings about the word weird. I use it to affectionately talk about myself in a joking manner (knowing I AM weird) but I get defensive when someone points out my weirdness. Well I used to retreat back into my shell (still do sometimes) when I’m just myself and someone sees me and thinks it’s odd. I usually come in as my 100% authentic self, but as I’m judged I start to hide parts of myself. It’s some weird little defensive habit. (There I go again with the word weird lol) Also I’m younger so maybe that’s why. Maybe I’m just not mature emotionally.
Wow!! I never knew dancing in my bathrobe is an INFJ thing!! 😂 What a relief!! I really am normal!! Plus, living proof that disco is not dead!! I think I'll get down tonight with a little BeeGees and Donna Summers. Thanks, Jay!! 😊
Jay, your videos give so much food for thought and reflection. It makes me happy that someone as young as you is aware and that you don't have to go through as much xxxx as many of us oldies have. Thanks again for sharing with us ☺️ You're awesome 😊
You are helping me truly accept myself like never before in my life! At 53, its about time! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you do to help all INFJs! ❤
lol the comment on bbq’s is spot on. I’ll be honest and thought I was jealous of that type of thing in the summer but you’re right! I don’t want to be around people for the whole small talk. That’s not me at all 😂
I had to do this to a chap in our village pub. I liked to sit at the end of the bar to enjoy a Guinness. He liked to BS everyone about his time in the Royal Marines. I did my research, of course and when he finally tried to embarrass me one too many times I dropped the bomb. Sorry bad pun! He produced a picture of himself in uniform and after explaining that selfies were not a thing at that time I told him that his brother didn't approve of him borrowing it and pretending. To this day he tries to pretend it was all a ruse and meant as a joke. Poor lost soul, he has nothing else to talk about. I do feel sorry for him.
Oh my gosh, I loved reading this. I’ve done that before, and the look on the persons eyes….yikes!…..it looks like they’re looking through you with lasers. The disdain is unmistakable! I even did it once to my very Irish grandmother, exposed that she was lying, and then pulled the proof of it out of the garbage, literally……pulled a document out of the garbage that she tried to throw away. I don’t know if there are enough words in our language to describe the look of disdain. Piercing blue eyes that could’ve sliced through concrete!
Jay, you are delving so deeply into an INFJ's soul these days! It's both terrifying (in the way an INFJ always manages to do) and intriguing and satisfying. Regarding this video, it resonates deeply with me. I even find myself exhibiting this behavior with my own M.O.M! In fact, it goes against Vietnamese moral values to intimidate one's parents, and I used to blame myself for being so strange. But after becoming aware of my nature, I've been able to transcend these inherited traditional values. I now respect people regardless of their age or relationship to me, as long as they behave appropriately. What if our elder family members mistreat us? Should we remain silent and allow them to harass us? I used to allow them to crush my spirit in this manner. But now, recognizing my true self and reclaiming the freedom of my soul, there will be no more narcissism in any form, not even from our parents! In a nutshell, "fair is foul and foul is fair"
One of my best friends is an infj. I guess I bypassed this effect by removing my mask for her before she had a chance to. Her truths are brutal and it took me a while to learn that those truths, while brutal, come from a place of love.
I think it’s interesting as an INFJ that I notice people wearing mask and if the person is kind I try to encourage them to be themselves and yet I wear one myself! 🤦♀️
I have accidently done this multiple times. I call it exposing them to the face of their soul. You're right, if they have bad motives, they do not like it at all and it's best to remove yourself.
Very Very true! Some people will get very uncomfortable around me without me even saying much. I talk. But I prefer to observe. They know I can see their mask falling off 😊.
Absolutely 💯. Many times, I even give them a chance to stop. Giving (at least to me) obvious hints. Numerous times, that I know what they are doing. Eventually "I get the feeling you believe X." Really? Just now ? Lol Then they get all bent out of shape. Without even asking why I would believe that or a chance for me to explain why. Which I can only take as I must have been correct or it wouldn't bother them so much.
0:53 What's interesting about this particular case is I have always found myself being a 135 lb 5 ft 6 individual sizing myself up to 6 ft tall 220 lb stereotypical bullies. I would befriend them. And I would hyper analyze them and push the boundaries and see specifically just how far I can push them before I get an aggressive response. Little did I know that this was me crying and peeling back the layers of their psyche in order to understand and diffuse them on a psychological level.
I relate to the being able to understand people from every walk of life. I can talk to everyone from homeless people to rich folk, I love talking to people from every different background, I find that's where I learn the most
Never heard this described before. But I think it explains why I am making it harder for people in my executive group at work in that I do these things without trying.
I find this fascinating. I am 52 years old and I only found out about 3 years ago, why I am so different from almost all people I ever new. At least I know now, that I am not the problem, I am just very different. Since I was little I stumbled from one knowlegde rabbit hole into the next. I burry myself so deep and for so long till I come out as an expert on the other side - only THEN I am happy.
LOL, I dance in my bathrobe, home alone! I can't believe how spot on these videos are! Many thanks. After years of being a "Weirdo, too sensitive, too serious" ect, I'm so relieved to discover I am an INFJ! I also like to (gasp) read books. : )
Totally agree with your point that it’s best to reveal enough of yourself to discourage bad matches. Just getting past a friendship that should never have been - almost nothing in common. Constantly being invited to watch various sports this person is into - finally woke up…
Thanks for the great advice in all your videos! I recently discovered I'm INFJ and this is the best channel I've come across so far. Proverbs 4:23 Above everything else, guard your heart; for it is the source of life's consequences.
Oh gosh; you nailed it with being like a prosecutor with facts 👏🏻. I did this to a staff member in a one on one meeting where she was trying to smear another team member and wouldn’t let it go about said team member being vile, insubordinate Yama Yada… I just keep asking about times dates, to report to HR; it went on for hours as I was told to “listen”to her. Needless yo say that was it but the next day … called in sick by her husband stating she had a breakdown 🤦🏻♀️…. Of course she did, but was fine and dandy gossiping to another outlet the very next day. Thank you; you are truly hitting so many buttons and helping me process past experiences and why I did the right thing🙏🏻
fascinating reading through comments. i think algorithms suggested your channel by my style of comments on other channels. infj's seem to have a type of talk. i would say that as we grow individually, even with particular laser cutting strengths, one of the best things we can do is still learn to truly appreciate that every other personality type is equal in value & to have compassion and patience on people's weaknesses behind their masks. i speculate that this could be harder for the infj due to our natural core tendencies. but it is nevertheless very validating hearing your videos - cheers;-)
This is something that can be really hard, people get scared because it’s like I see through them but that’s just what I feel like is happening I can’t be sure. Also I have a boss that’s always smiling and her eyes are wide and almost popping out of her head in every single interaction. I don’t play along. Ever since one time when I didn’t play along she has been giving me a evil side eye in every interaction. I don’t know how to handle her. I feel so uncomfortable and become very awkward when she’s around.
I will add to the list that we are a lot less impressed with accolades and what or who is popular. That's surface stuff to us and I think people sense that about us. It confuses them, offends them, and makes them feel invalidated. Usually this is all taking place on a subsconscious level.
I told my ex one time after the breakup (we have a kid together) that I was actually doing good for myself in college and she got pissed. My response "you just don't like it when people do better than you." And that my friend was not a fun night.
As always.....right when I needed you, here you are. A couple things really hit home. #1 Iearned early to see thru the mask. I despise deception. Just be honest. #2 Yes, most do not care about your accomplishments. They are usually envious and go out of their way to downplay what is my being. and finally #3 Be honest when you discover signs of compatibility. We do have over 8 billion to choose from. I am experience all of this right now, and this so made me feel at home within myself. Thanks Jay!
I was watching a video on optics that covered the idea of the Fresnel Lens. It doesn’t look like it should work because it is made of concentric circles. As a result it takes up a lot less space than typical lenses, it’s just flat. Yet it can render a magnified image all the same. This is like how people think that you must have substantially more information to understand them but an INFJ can see them regardless. Fresnel lenses are those flat magnifying lenses often sold as bookmarks of older people. They were originally developed for lighthouses to throw a more concentrated beam for ships to see from a greater distance. Traditional lenses to meet the requirements were too large, heavy and expensive so a mathematician came up with this solution.
My gosh, you got me laughing at 51 seconds. Isn’t that the truth…we start the excavating immediately! I have been accused of acting like I’m a prosecutor so many times…. I just laugh about it. It reminds me of that Postal Service song, “Nothing Better” where they are both talking about the relationship and she mentions that she could bring out charts and graphs so she can make it clear about what really happened in the relationship. Jenny Lewis is probably an INFJ. It’s such a great song. Its exactly how relationships, romantic or friendship, etc. can go, always two sides to it, but I always feel like the INFJ side is the accurate one, because we have the facts , we have great memories, and we know how to slay people with vocabulary. Of course I’m kidding ….kind of. I think sometimes people would rather have you scream a bunch of swearwords at them instead of using really brilliant and enchanting language with fantastic metaphors. Swearing just isn’t as colorful or creative.😅. You are definitely correct ….people do not like when we SEE them. They’re like oh no oh no, they see me!! And like you, said Jay…….God forbid, you show interest in learning anything new. You did a tremendous job on the video, Jay. I have an idea for a cool thing to delve into. Identifying Archetypes or personality types in music lyrics. Sounds like a perfect party game to me. Really small party though…..definitely not a blowout kind, lol. I was thrilled to find out someone else does not enjoy all day barbecues, oh my gosh, your face was hilarious when you said that!! Those things are torture. I could go on and on, and I know all of you would agree with most of the things that are just so energy sucking , boring or overwhelming to be involved with/go to. 😊 OK….now I will confess my favorite part of the video. Yes you are correct Jay……it was you dancing in your robe in your living room. I texted a friend of mine on Friday that I was having a dance party ….just me and the Bee Gees. Of course, they thought I was insane. I think it’s a blast….. And it can just pop you out of a bad mood, or raise your energy levels even higher if you’re feeling great already.🎉☘️
Thank you for this!! I had to go to that all day BBQ with a crap ton of small talk, luckily I got to skip most of it as I was in charge of the music at this thing aka the DJ...but I still would have liked being at home in my boring life than around that chaos. I did the same thing as you with the yuck when first asked to do that BBQ DJ thing for work....just glad it's in the past. I'd love to chat with you, if you'd like to also. Hope you're well, -Z
i feel like i’m a cross between infp and infj… maybe that’s common. anyway i relate to this. i trigger people just by existing and staying out of the way… i am a driven person and can see through everyone and it makes people uncomfortable as hell. i wish there were more people who wanted that level of depth, inspiration and authenticity in their connections. most people prefer to remain stagnant, living out a social script written for them.
I love all your videos. Topic idea... Frustration of watching people not being true to themselves and you know exactly what they need to do and they don't do what you told them you feel they should be doing. And you can't exactly say you're getting this from intuition or sounding controlling. Makes it hard to embrace being an INFJ...
Ok I'm def an infj. Wow I usually call that popping the balloon or testing the foundation when people's egos goes unchecked. I'm usually the one who will check them and im pretty fair about it with everyone.
I’ve been having issues with some people for about 2 years. 1 used to be a coworker & the other is her daughter in law. She kept saying awful things to me after I had a tubal pregnancy so I told her to leave me alone & she would try to force me (and my husband) into conversation every chance she got. When I finally told her the last time that I don’t want to talk to her or be her friend she stopped but then her daughter in law came in while I was working & she told me she would hit me. I was angry but ignored her and now she does the same.. I just seen her again the other day. I feel harassed. The next time I see her im letting her know that I don’t like her or want to talk to her. Idk what to do about it bc they constantly do the same thing over and over. I was never friends with either of them.
You are so cute in this video!!!! Absolutely adorable and yes of course you're right as you tend to be, but I now see why people think I'm cute when I'm trying to be serious and make a point lol. Thank you so much Jay. I'm gonna come out of my hidy hole soon enough to start making my videos that the topics are swirling in my head. I've got it on paper but let's just say I've been doing some research. I'm excited to see what God does... love you my INFJ brother. God bless you!!! Small talk BLECH!!!!😂
I had this this surgeon giving me really great eye contact, but she had a wedding band on but she didn’t seem to match that kind of generally flirty person. I would just stare at her ring a couple of times during our appointments. By our last appointment she was ringless and happy. She asked me to stay n touch a number of times. I want to ask her out, but I don’t even know how or even whether I should if she doesn’t bring it up. I do know with laws there has to be some time after formal appointments end before anything personal can begin. I was looking at 6 months and there’s roughly 2 months left. I’ll probably send her a gift like coffee a mug, some chocolates and maybe one of my small sculptures (all things we talked about/ she brought up). If she wants to connect I’m hoping she’ll find a way to communicate that or not. Either way I know I will have been proactive enough to create an opening for something more to happen.
I saw a guy physically shaking because of one comment I said. I don't usually do this to people but he tried making me uncomfortable several times and even tho I blew his ego I felt bad for him seeing him all shook up like that. He couldn't even control it
I can't thank u so enough to the point you can sense my bad day, just happen, but im good for now, thank u, thank you, hugs, we're on the same gene here, tq
I’m an INFJ but I don’t remove people’s masks, i distance myself from those people.
I always notices them because their terrible hiders but I have to be around them in school for 4 more years.
Same here, its all subconscious though for me. Once i see i ghost
I think this is your best video yet. I do not bother calling people out on their masks any longer though. I am older now and have limited energy and even more limited patience, so I just try to keep a poker face and walk away. I'm terrible at hiding my disgust though, so they usually know I am repulsed by them. Another advantage of being older is that I no longer care if they know.
Oh!!!! I'm so in agreement with your comment 👍☺️ Better late than never 😁
I can completely understand what you’re saying. I think that knowledge comes with INFJ experience. Thank you so much for saying this is your favorite video so far, I really appreciate that!
Jay
I'm not young but I still call ppl out when necessary. It's the advocate side of me that won't let me just walk away. If someone is harming others with their toxic behavior, that person deserves to be called out on their bs.
Me too. 100%
I can identify!😎
I love your videos! At 74 I feel like I FINALLY BELONG!!
That’s because you do belong! Thanks for the comment!
Jay
@Janice Same here! 70 this year and finally looking after myself ☺️👍
Hey family!! 👋 ♥
Same here 63
THe same here. Just turned 73. It has been a lonely life on many levels and it is great to be in this circle.
“Noisy, all-day barbecues full of small talk. Ick!” That cracked me up. There is no better definition of hell. Thanks, Jay. 😂
🤩outside while smalltalk . 😮💨inside while smalltalk
Its hell for me also and I have been through hell.
Same!! 😂
Literally broke out in a smile
So crazy seeing someone have the exact same personality n mindset as me. From the sarcasm to the facts. I feel seen 😂
lol! Thank you my friend- happy to have you here!
Jay
Same here 😂😂 It’s refreshing to know my weird ass isn’t alone lmao
I feel more and more like sarcasm is shared terrain when it comes INFJ. I classify mine as hopeful cynicism. Would love being in a whole room full of us sometime just to experience that vibe.
I feel the same way. I can relate to everything being said here. I know this will really help me. I was thinking I was just too different and didn't fit in with anyone.
I don’t go to bed at whatever a decent hour is and I don’t care. I need this time to spend with myself alone.
I’ll happily stay up way too late doing something. 😆
I love that i’m an INFJ!
It is the best. 😆
Jay
I 100% concur. I love being an INFJ, however I'd argue that as long as you like the person you are, and have self-respect - youre gonna love whatever MBTI personality category you fall into.
I ask this though: would you wish upon anyone to be an INFJ?
// I don't know if I necessarily have an answer for this; but I truly do wish people could see the world thru my eyes. But I suppose that wouldn't be possible without similar personality traits.
"Not everyone will like you... " man if that's not the truth. I've always found it's odd how people come to dislike one for just being quiet. I always tend to be super introverted, especially in the most modest of crowds and people can't handle it. And then If I speak it's worse. There's just something about the way I speak. Just recently learned I was INFJ. My life makes so much sense now and I'm 50 years old.
Does reveal a lot when you find out you are an INFJ, thanks for watching. Don’t give up, just look for the few people who get you and enjoy your alone time!
Jay
@@INFJcircle I wish! I've two boys, age 4 and turning 2. I don't mind them as they fit into my alone time. In the middle of an insane custody battle though ( for the second time) against some really challenging behavioral health issues. Despite having a clean bill of heath - being an INFJ aside 😋-- I still have all eyes on me and in my space. I don't know about other INFJs on this quality, but I don't like attention. Maybe when I was much younger I craved it some. But now, I don't like it. And, being in the midst of a doozy of a custody fight to protect my boys, I got all kinds of attention that I have to put on a happy face for. My typical RBF just won't cut it anymore. For my boys, I try like hell though. But, I get a little alone time watching these videos all about "me." I ravenously relish every moment I get for sure.
I lost my children Tuesday. I had no lawyer and all I could do was take more abuse and then let them rule against me. I had no evidence and no witnesses because my lawyers stopped working my case 2 weeks prior to discovery and my GoFundMe never gained traction. Everytime I tried to defend myself against the lies crafted to take my children from me, to present facts, I faced objection after objection. The judge on more than one occasions mocked and scoffed at me as I testified or attempted to present my case. She and opposing counsel also exchanged snide remarks in response to my testimony. I couldn't help but wonder the whole time: "is this because I'm an INFJ?" I felt like I was in grade school being bullied again with all the kids around me standing and pointing. Nope, as an INFJ hardly anyone will like you.
I totally relate and I am older than you!
I completely agree … even when I keep a low profile and make light of any “ talents or interests” I have , I seem to be still upsetting someone ! I’m now 67 , and now that I look back , this has been a common feature in my life and genuinely, I don’t know why …. A friend of mine who was an actor once said to me that the one thing a lot of actors dislike is talent in others ….
INFJ, things I like in no particular order: the macabre, astrology, (I share that right away to weed out the close minded) deep psychology, esoteric knowledge, reading, painting, flavored hot tea, and cats. 🎉
Same. All of the above.
10 yrs ago I was 27 and took a personality test a for the new HR guy. I tested to be INFJ. I didn’t pay much attention to it then, but I’ve always known I was a different. Lately I’ve been studying the infj personality and it is encouraging I am able to understand that it’s ok to daydream. I appreciate your channel
It’s a very enlightening thing to learn that you are an INFJ. It explains so much about your life. I appreciate you, thanks for watching!
Jay
Daydreaming is one of my favorite hobbies.
@mchubb8 literally same. People think I’m doing nothing but inside I’m rhyming and scheming 😆 (pulls a random Goldbergs episode reference outta nowhere)
One thing that instantly puts me, as an INFJ, into 'take no prisoners' mode is when I've seen through to someone else's dark secret, and I'm even willing to not acknowledge it, UNTIL THEY PROJECT IT ON TO ME. Nothing infuriates me more than having someone, to whom I am offering forbearance, tell me I'm the one who's guilty of something ugly that I KNOW they've been up to. I had an acquaintance once, who while I was at her house I heard her upstairs beating her dog. I heard the beating and I heard the dog whimpering. Later that evening she made a comment about how I 'don't like dogs'. I love dogs, but I neither overly indulge them nor do I beat them. I kind of lost it and right in the middle of a restaurant I told her to her face that I heard her beating her dog. I probably wouldn't have said anything about it, although I'm sure I wouldn't have continued to be friendly with her after that. But SHE DUMPED ME for confronting her.
I can relate to this. Unfortunately this sort of thing happens to INFJs a lot. This sounds like a particularly difficult situation. This person sounds like they definitely had some narcissistic traits. Anytime someone is toxic it’s good to be away from that person, so I don’t think you had a big loss by losing out on this relationship!
@@INFJcircle I can't even count the number of narcissists I've had in my life. Sad to say, this kind of thing happens to me a lot. And honestly I feel like crap for a long time after these occurrences, meanwhile the narcissists just shrugs it off and goes their merry way. I'm left wondering WHY DOES THIS STUFF KEEP HAPPENING TO ME. Now, I'm much more standoffish when it comes to letting people in my life. But, I'm still walking around with an INFJ cosmic 'kick me' sign on my back.
@@INFJcircle I think she said I didn't like dogs because I think I made a face when this woman allowed her dog to eat off the kitchen counter. I didn't actually say anything. I love animals but I don't let them on the counter at my house. But I don't tell others what standards to hold in their own houses, but I can't help involuntary facial expressions.
@@cynthiajohnson9412sounds like you’re better off with that person out of your life! But,hey, I’m a picky INFJ and good friendships are hard to come by. Good that we’re not so dependent on a crowd.
@@rachelclare8795 Thanks. This happened when I had moved to a different state and literally didn't know a single person. I was going through a divorce and very vulnerable. And I didn't really understand back then that the people with room in their lives for new people, let's be frank, are mostly people with serious personality disorders who can't keep friends and people in their lives. Sad but true. My vibe was so wonky back then I even had a old guy touch me inappropriately at the library when I was helping him with something on the computer. And I was like Lord have mercy, what kind of weak messages am I putting out to the universe? I had a couple of not good experiences with emotionally volatile, unstable people. Then when my vibe got better I had of group of friends who caused me what I call 'second tier narcissistic abuse' - people who's abusive and controlling spouses ended up treating me badly. Right now, over the last few years, I've gone back and rid my life of some narcissistic relationships that I've held on to for many, many years that kept pulling me down no matter how hard I tried to cleanse my energy. So I'm going solo until I get myself in a strong vibrational pattern. Then I'll see who I attract. But no more just being open to whoever shows an interest in me. Those days are gone forever.
Personality is from latin root word "persona," meaning "mask"... INFJs as people often see through the masks(persona-lities) others put on and why they put them on. It's a great power that comes with a considerable amount of emotional, mental & spiritual burden/responsibility.
Yeah, I agree. We see through the smoke and mirrors very quickly, unless we have a romantic relationship... then we seem to only see the good, as opposed to the full picture, sadly, lol.
I once had a friend who asked me “why don’t people like me?”
I replied “because you are an obnoxious person, you know you are”
They were stunned as they thought they were “a laugh”
Oh, and that was the end of the friendship. 🤦♂️
Oh my gosh, you sound like my twin. Thank you for sharing that. I was laughing, that has definitely happened to me.
It just puzzled when people wont accept that warning, that I’m about to do damage. They know me but still think they are in control.
I have had to talk myself out of saying something damaging on many occasions. I don't like to be that person but the devil on my shoulder really does know how to cut deep in people's soul.
I'm the same, being utterly perplexed as to why someone wouldn't heed my warnings. I think it's because we love to be kind, and others mistakingly take our kindness for weakness... their error, obviously, lol.
As an INFJ, this is hilarious! It's strange to be on the other side for once, having my own thoughts understood so well. I'm usually the one figuring people out!! LOL.
I am laughing but I am honestly tearing up right now, you are brining so much of healing. You're the best!
Thank you my friend, yes, it means a lot to have someone understand us. I thank all of you for watching and commenting, so I feel related to as well!
Jay
Thanks Jay! It is really validating to know I'm not the only one given the cold shoulder for seeing through people's BS. I'd like to say watch out for toxic people who lure others by falsely "mirroring" your likes and interests. Some are so good at the act they can even fool an INFJ who is just so glad someone finally "gets" them. It just gets worse from there, and they won't get better no matter what you do. It's worth sticking with your boundaries and waiting for authentic and truly kind people that really do get you, and love you for it.
You are absolutely correct. Some of those narcissists are geniuses with mirroring back who they want you to think they are. I’ve had a few of those relationships. The covert ones are the worst, they are the ones who can really fool you. So glad that I woke up and I now understand being an
INFJ so much more and I really appreciate everything about myself. It ended, of course, in an ugly manner, because that’s what those demons do.
I totally agree. I have had my share of people (narcs) do the whole mirroring/copycat routine on me. I am much quicker at spotting this behavior than in the past, I’ve had it happen to me many times. It’s so maddening because it’s basically stealing from others and often done out of jealousy/envy. Once I see this pattern, I distance myself from them immediately💯
Oh my gosh, this made me laugh! There is nothing worse than a noisy, all day bbq full of small talk, hah!
I can see myself in pretty much everything he says! Not in a bad way but like in a respectful way!
SO much healing here...thank you!!
I was in love with a man who had impure motives and was lying to himself.
He truly loved me I believe, but he hated that I could see right through him.
He told me I was telling him too much. Too many uncomfortable truths too quickly.
😢 And he broke up with me.
Well. What can I say?
NOW.... I get it. I'm an INFJ...but before I knew how I was wired...and how some people react when they come into close contact with an INFJ...I could NEVER understand why people called me psychic. Or intimidating. Or wicked. (Seriously...a pastor called me a Jezebel and I was a mom with two toddlers trying to be a good wife, mom, and Christian! So confusing.)
I was bewildered by people's reactions to me and started to believe I was some kind of toxic being...a blight on humanity maybe.
But I'm not.
I'm none of those things. Geesh. 🙄
I'm an INFJ. And probably a descendant of women who were tortured for being "witches." But I'm also a woman with feelings and I'm trying my best to live a good life in a world that, like my old prom dress, doesn't quite fit right.
Thanks for that deep and insightful comment. What you’re describing is certainly the life of an INFJ. Being misunderstood, mislabeled, it seems to be part of our life. Still, we can only truly interact and grow close to with those who mesh with our personality. And since we like to be alone, I guess that works out pretty well anyway, but keep your eye out for people who do understand you and accept you for who you are. Stay strong! Thanks for watching.
Jay
Almost cried, even though I haven't experienced motherhood myself. but as an INFJ your experiences resonated with me so deeply.
This reminds me of something funny.
Heaven might not want us due to unfair competition.
Hell won't have us because of unfair treatment.
🤣🤣🤣
You sound very much like me. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told I’m intimidating and honestly I don’t feel like I’m that at all in fact, sometimes I worry that I’m too soft. But then I realize that the reason they’re saying we are intimidating is because we are so genuine and honest, and can see through people that we just say things or phrase things like it is. We don’t have a mask that we’re hiding behind…. and even though we love words and language, we can also just cut to the point. That’s why, and now I understand it more fully, it’s so important to love ourselves, completely accept our good stuff, weird stuff, and shadows and know that we are ok…no change needed. The Right people will stay and want to be near you, and the wrong ones will be weeded out, that’s how I have to look at it now.
Actually dated a guy for a long time and he hated when I used the word “weird”…. He just hated it for some reason. He also hated when I would respond “Really?” if he was telling me something cool, like a story or something. I realized he had some odd connection and understanding of what those words meant to him.
Weird to me means something is off, not exactly in pattern with what normally occurs. And when I say really? It’s just like exciting response…like oh really?! He took it as me thinking he was lying. It made no sense to me whatsoever. Other than he was obviously paranoid that I thought he was lying all the time….ummm…because he was.
And I can’t really explain why he hated the word weird. i’ve always sort of like that word.
I have mixed feelings about the word weird. I use it to affectionately talk about myself in a joking manner (knowing I AM weird) but I get defensive when someone points out my weirdness. Well I used to retreat back into my shell (still do sometimes) when I’m just myself and someone sees me and thinks it’s odd.
I usually come in as my 100% authentic self, but as I’m judged I start to hide parts of myself. It’s some weird little defensive habit. (There I go again with the word weird lol)
Also I’m younger so maybe that’s why. Maybe I’m just not mature emotionally.
It's crazy i expose many narcissist at work and they are so mad at me like flying monkey etc...
Been there. Done that. The narcs drive me out.
Wow!! I never knew dancing in my bathrobe is an INFJ thing!! 😂 What a relief!! I really am normal!! Plus, living proof that disco is not dead!! I think I'll get down tonight with a little BeeGees and Donna Summers. Thanks, Jay!! 😊
BeeGees for me last Friday night!! 😅
Good for you!!
You made me laugh when you said we offend people coz we love to learn. Spot on, exactly what I'm dealing with.
Jay, your videos give so much food for thought and reflection. It makes me happy that someone as young as you is aware and that you don't have to go through as much xxxx as many of us oldies have. Thanks again for sharing with us ☺️ You're awesome 😊
Thank you Jackie, so thankful for you watching. I know so many relate. Being aware certainly is a huge part of the battle.
Jay
You are helping me truly accept myself like never before in my life! At 53, its about time! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you do to help all INFJs! ❤
lol the comment on bbq’s is spot on. I’ll be honest and thought I was jealous of that type of thing in the summer but you’re right! I don’t want to be around people for the whole small talk. That’s not me at all 😂
I had to do this to a chap in our village pub. I liked to sit at the end of the bar to enjoy a Guinness. He liked to BS everyone about his time in the Royal Marines. I did my research, of course and when he finally tried to embarrass me one too many times I dropped the bomb. Sorry bad pun! He produced a picture of himself in uniform and after explaining that selfies were not a thing at that time I told him that his brother didn't approve of him borrowing it and pretending. To this day he tries to pretend it was all a ruse and meant as a joke. Poor lost soul, he has nothing else to talk about. I do feel sorry for him.
Oh my gosh, I loved reading this. I’ve done that before, and the look on the persons eyes….yikes!…..it looks like they’re looking through you with lasers. The disdain is unmistakable! I even did it once to my very Irish grandmother, exposed that she was lying, and then pulled the proof of it out of the garbage, literally……pulled a document out of the garbage that she tried to throw away. I don’t know if there are enough words in our language to describe the look of disdain. Piercing blue eyes that could’ve sliced through concrete!
You were SO funny when you waggled your finger. 😊
YEP - I constantly crush peoples pitiful world views and then Crip-walk away laughing in existential assurance.
Geez! Had to listen to this 4 times as I reflected on things that now make sense with some of the examples provided. Bravo!
Glad it was helpful! Thanks for watching!
Jay
Jay, you are delving so deeply into an INFJ's soul these days! It's both terrifying (in the way an INFJ always manages to do) and intriguing and satisfying. Regarding this video, it resonates deeply with me. I even find myself exhibiting this behavior with my own M.O.M! In fact, it goes against Vietnamese moral values to intimidate one's parents, and I used to blame myself for being so strange. But after becoming aware of my nature, I've been able to transcend these inherited traditional values. I now respect people regardless of their age or relationship to me, as long as they behave appropriately. What if our elder family members mistreat us? Should we remain silent and allow them to harass us? I used to allow them to crush my spirit in this manner. But now, recognizing my true self and reclaiming the freedom of my soul, there will be no more narcissism in any form, not even from our parents! In a nutshell, "fair is foul and foul is fair"
One of my best friends is an infj. I guess I bypassed this effect by removing my mask for her before she had a chance to. Her truths are brutal and it took me a while to learn that those truths, while brutal, come from a place of love.
I think it’s interesting as an INFJ that I notice people wearing mask and if the person is kind I try to encourage them to be themselves and yet I wear one myself! 🤦♀️
SAME!!! I just typed that out in another comment 😂
Love this! How do we find someone else who loves to dance around in their bathrobe?😂
You just play the right song on the perfect night when the energy is mellow and it explodes into high fun loving energy.
I have accidently done this multiple times. I call it exposing them to the face of their soul. You're right, if they have bad motives, they do not like it at all and it's best to remove yourself.
Very Very true!
Some people will get very uncomfortable around me without me even saying much.
I talk. But I prefer to observe. They know I can see their mask falling off 😊.
Absolutely 💯. Many times, I even give them a chance to stop. Giving (at least to me) obvious hints. Numerous times, that I know what they are doing. Eventually "I get the feeling you believe X." Really? Just now ? Lol Then they get all bent out of shape. Without even asking why I would believe that or a chance for me to explain why. Which I can only take as I must have been correct or it wouldn't bother them so much.
Noisy all-day barbeques full of small talk are like torture.
Thanks for making this video now i understand what you mean.❤😢
0:53
What's interesting about this particular case is I have always found myself being a 135 lb 5 ft 6 individual sizing myself up to 6 ft tall 220 lb stereotypical bullies. I would befriend them. And I would hyper analyze them and push the boundaries and see specifically just how far I can push them before I get an aggressive response. Little did I know that this was me crying and peeling back the layers of their psyche in order to understand and diffuse them on a psychological level.
I find it much more fun to accept the deception for what it is.
This gives you a lot more information.
I relate to the being able to understand people from every walk of life. I can talk to everyone from homeless people to rich folk, I love talking to people from every different background, I find that's where I learn the most
Never heard this described before. But I think it explains why I am making it harder for people in my executive group at work in that I do these things without trying.
Love the channel I’m approaching 35 years of age and just now realizing all of this. Your videos have been very helpful.
Yes, every INFJ needs a gavel. The Chosen has spoken👏📯
The bathrobe dance in the room haha hell yesss!!! 😂
You are so much more accurate and relatable than the other infj guy on youtube. I cant stand watching that guy
It’s like you get me. And yes it’s so insulting when people automatically hate on anything I like. I feel like you are talking directly to me.
I find this fascinating. I am 52 years old and I only found out about 3 years ago, why I am so different from almost all people I ever new. At least I know now, that I am not the problem, I am just very different. Since I was little I stumbled from one knowlegde rabbit hole into the next. I burry myself so deep and for so long till I come out as an expert on the other side - only THEN I am happy.
LOL, I dance in my bathrobe, home alone! I can't believe how spot on these videos are! Many thanks. After years of being a "Weirdo, too sensitive, too serious" ect, I'm so relieved to discover I am an INFJ! I also like to (gasp) read books. : )
Totally agree with your point that it’s best to reveal enough of yourself to discourage bad matches. Just getting past a friendship that should never have been - almost nothing in common. Constantly being invited to watch various sports this person is into - finally woke up…
Thanks for the great advice in all your videos! I recently discovered I'm INFJ and this is the best channel I've come across so far. Proverbs 4:23 Above everything else, guard your heart; for it is the source of life's consequences.
4:00 😂 I thought I was the only one!
You are most certainly not the only one 😂
Jay
I think we all thought we were the only one, until I found out about being a infj I sure thought I was the only one.
Oh gosh; you nailed it with being like a prosecutor with facts 👏🏻. I did this to a staff member in a one on one meeting where she was trying to smear another team member and wouldn’t let it go about said team member being vile, insubordinate Yama Yada… I just keep asking about times dates, to report to HR; it went on for hours as I was told to “listen”to her. Needless yo say that was it but the next day … called in sick by her husband stating she had a breakdown 🤦🏻♀️…. Of course she did, but was fine and dandy gossiping to another outlet the very next day. Thank you; you are truly hitting so many buttons and helping me process past experiences and why I did the right thing🙏🏻
fascinating reading through comments. i think algorithms suggested your channel by my style of comments on other channels. infj's seem to have a type of talk. i would say that as we grow individually, even with particular laser cutting strengths, one of the best things we can do is still learn to truly appreciate that every other personality type is equal in value & to have compassion and patience on people's weaknesses behind their masks. i speculate that this could be harder for the infj due to our natural core tendencies. but it is nevertheless very validating hearing your videos - cheers;-)
Great video as always! I would love to see you do a video on the subject of people who are disrespectful towards INFJs and how INFJs should respond.
Lol. Always happy to see someone whos dance skills are on par with mine. Thanks for that. 😊
yep, If I was given money for triggering people just by showing up, I could be living the life of my dreams
Same here! 💯
This is something that can be really hard, people get scared because it’s like I see through them but that’s just what I feel like is happening I can’t be sure.
Also I have a boss that’s always smiling and her eyes are wide and almost popping out of her head in every single interaction. I don’t play along. Ever since one time when I didn’t play along she has been giving me a evil side eye in every interaction. I don’t know how to handle her. I feel so uncomfortable and become very awkward when she’s around.
Luckily I’ve hardly had anyone be weirded out by my interests, in fact most people are fascinated by me.
Do you mean there are other INFJs out there who dance around their homes in their bathrobes (at any time of the day)? Hallelujah!
Indeed! Indeed!
Jay
I will add to the list that we are a lot less impressed with accolades and what or who is popular. That's surface stuff to us and I think people sense that about us. It confuses them, offends them, and makes them feel invalidated. Usually this is all taking place on a subsconscious level.
You hit the nail on the head with this one, my friend. As always.
I told my ex one time after the breakup (we have a kid together) that I was actually doing good for myself in college and she got pissed. My response "you just don't like it when people do better than you." And that my friend was not a fun night.
It's zero fun calling out people. It's actually depressing and tiring. I have a very small circle of friends now and am adjusting to being alone.
🎵" *On ne change pas*
On met juste les costumes d'autres sur soi
*On ne change pas*
Une veste ne cache qu'un peu de ce qu'on voit"🎵
- Celine Dione
Oh Jay,Just now saw how one person's ego was broken by a small feedback and started attacking back.Forcing no contact from 2nd meeting 😊
Oh my Goodness thank you so much for showing up in my feed ❤❤❤
I personally call this the, “The Julia Sugarbaker Effect.” To my pleasant surprise after the fact, I learned after reading her book, so does Tina Fey.
Just discovered your channel. Good and more unique INFJ content !!!
As always.....right when I needed you, here you are. A couple things really hit home. #1 Iearned early to see thru the mask. I despise deception. Just be honest. #2 Yes, most do not care about your accomplishments. They are usually envious and go out of their way to downplay what is my being. and finally #3 Be honest when you discover signs of compatibility. We do have over 8 billion to choose from. I am experience all of this right now, and this so made me feel at home within myself. Thanks Jay!
I was watching a video on optics that covered the idea of the Fresnel Lens. It doesn’t look like it should work because it is made of concentric circles. As a result it takes up a lot less space than typical lenses, it’s just flat. Yet it can render a magnified image all the same. This is like how people think that you must have substantially more information to understand them but an INFJ can see them regardless.
Fresnel lenses are those flat magnifying lenses often sold as bookmarks of older people. They were originally developed for lighthouses to throw a more concentrated beam for ships to see from a greater distance. Traditional lenses to meet the requirements were too large, heavy and expensive so a mathematician came up with this solution.
My gosh, you got me laughing at 51 seconds. Isn’t that the truth…we start the excavating immediately! I have been accused of acting like I’m a prosecutor so many times…. I just laugh about it.
It reminds me of that Postal Service song, “Nothing Better” where they are both talking about the relationship and she mentions that she could bring out charts and graphs so she can make it clear about what really happened in the relationship. Jenny Lewis is probably an INFJ. It’s such a great song. Its exactly how relationships, romantic or friendship, etc. can go, always two sides to it, but I always feel like the INFJ side is the accurate one, because we have the facts , we have great memories, and we know how to slay people with vocabulary. Of course I’m kidding ….kind of. I think sometimes people would rather have you scream a bunch of swearwords at them instead of using really brilliant and enchanting language with fantastic metaphors. Swearing just isn’t as colorful or creative.😅. You are definitely correct ….people do not like when we SEE them. They’re like oh no oh no, they see me!!
And like you, said Jay…….God forbid, you show interest in learning anything new. You did a tremendous job on the video, Jay. I have an idea for a cool thing to delve into. Identifying Archetypes or personality types in music lyrics. Sounds like a perfect party game to me. Really small party though…..definitely not a blowout kind, lol.
I was thrilled to find out someone else does not enjoy all day barbecues, oh my gosh, your face was hilarious when you said that!! Those things are torture. I could go on and on, and I know all of you would agree with most of the things that are just so energy sucking , boring or overwhelming to be involved with/go to. 😊
OK….now I will confess my favorite part of the video. Yes you are correct Jay……it was you dancing in your robe in your living room. I texted a friend of mine on Friday that I was having a dance party ….just me and the Bee Gees. Of course, they thought I was insane. I think it’s a blast….. And it can just pop you out of a bad mood, or raise your energy levels even higher if you’re feeling great already.🎉☘️
Thank you for this!! I had to go to that all day BBQ with a crap ton of small talk, luckily I got to skip most of it as I was in charge of the music at this thing aka the DJ...but I still would have liked being at home in my boring life than around that chaos. I did the same thing as you with the yuck when first asked to do that BBQ DJ thing for work....just glad it's in the past.
I'd love to chat with you, if you'd like to also. Hope you're well, -Z
i feel like i’m a cross between infp and infj… maybe that’s common. anyway i relate to this. i trigger people just by existing and staying out of the way… i am a driven person and can see through everyone and it makes people uncomfortable as hell. i wish there were more people who wanted that level of depth, inspiration and authenticity in their connections. most people prefer to remain stagnant, living out a social script written for them.
I love all your videos. Topic idea... Frustration of watching people not being true to themselves and you know exactly what they need to do and they don't do what you told them you feel they should be doing. And you can't exactly say you're getting this from intuition or sounding controlling. Makes it hard to embrace being an INFJ...
Ok I'm def an infj. Wow I usually call that popping the balloon or testing the foundation when people's egos goes unchecked. I'm usually the one who will check them and im pretty fair about it with everyone.
Another great video. Thanks so much Jay. You're helping so many of us.🙏
You are super welcome! Thanks for watching.
Jay
The accuracy is epic
Love it! Some will, Some won't, NEXT!
My mother used to correct me, apparently my truths spoken to my older brothers, seemed to often crush their egos…
Yes, we tend to do that without even meaning to.
I’ve been having issues with some people for about 2 years. 1 used to be a coworker & the other is her daughter in law. She kept saying awful things to me after I had a tubal pregnancy so I told her to leave me alone & she would try to force me (and my husband) into conversation every chance she got. When I finally told her the last time that I don’t want to talk to her or be her friend she stopped but then her daughter in law came in while I was working & she told me she would hit me. I was angry but ignored her and now she does the same.. I just seen her again the other day. I feel harassed. The next time I see her im letting her know that I don’t like her or want to talk to her. Idk what to do about it bc they constantly do the same thing over and over. I was never friends with either of them.
You are so cute in this video!!!! Absolutely adorable and yes of course you're right as you tend to be, but I now see why people think I'm cute when I'm trying to be serious and make a point lol. Thank you so much Jay. I'm gonna come out of my hidy hole soon enough to start making my videos that the topics are swirling in my head. I've got it on paper but let's just say I've been doing some research. I'm excited to see what God does... love you my INFJ brother. God bless you!!!
Small talk BLECH!!!!😂
I had this this surgeon giving me really great eye contact, but she had a wedding band on but she didn’t seem to match that kind of generally flirty person. I would just stare at her ring a couple of times during our appointments. By our last appointment she was ringless and happy. She asked me to stay n touch a number of times. I want to ask her out, but I don’t even know how or even whether I should if she doesn’t bring it up.
I do know with laws there has to be some time after formal appointments end before anything personal can begin. I was looking at 6 months and there’s roughly 2 months left. I’ll probably send her a gift like coffee a mug, some chocolates and maybe one of my small sculptures (all things we talked about/ she brought up). If she wants to connect I’m hoping she’ll find a way to communicate that or not.
Either way I know I will have been proactive enough to create an opening for something more to happen.
It's funny. I couldn't understand why when they see me they turn around and walk away. I think it is my inquisitive stare.
I saw a guy physically shaking because of one comment I said. I don't usually do this to people but he tried making me uncomfortable several times and even tho I blew his ego I felt bad for him seeing him all shook up like that. He couldn't even control it
Thats somewhere a good thing, your empathy hold you from really burning people.
Thats how much light you carry.
I can't help. I'm this way.
This hit me! In a great way! And who is watching me dance in my robe?😂Excellent video❤
Great advice, great insight! Im a new sub. You make this experience make sense! Your sense of humor is refreshing too. Ty!
So funny about the "all day BBQ's" doesn't sound like a good time to me either !!
I can't thank u so enough to the point you can sense my bad day, just happen, but im good for now, thank u, thank you, hugs, we're on the same gene here, tq
The dancing part was accurate😂
Thank you so much for this content. It's truly so refreshing to feel understood.
You are very welcome!
You hit the nail on the head - I love your videos.
Man this sounds soooo relatable!
Awesome!
Jay
I love your content. You’re always on point and very relatable. Thank you for taking the time to make these awesome videos where we feel safe.
I don't like small talk, but the BBQ part of what you said sounds awesome. 😊
Totally and absolutely undeniably correct, very well explained.
The big brother vibe😊😊😊❤❤❤🎉🎉
Oh WOW! I found my tribe!! ❤
Im humble and give everyone opportunities to back off before i even do that. 😂
They’re soooo me. Ohhh 😮 how come? Ohh my, it’s nice to know I’m not alone.