You all probably dont care at all but does any of you know a way to log back into an instagram account..? I was stupid lost the password. I would love any tips you can offer me!
@London Gannon i really appreciate your reply. I got to the site on google and im trying it out now. Takes a while so I will reply here later when my account password hopefully is recovered.
I got invited to a Quaker wedding once while I was on a day trip. I walked into a meeting building because I needed the bathroom and they invited me to a worship service. The only way I can describe it was peacefully beautiful. There was a real sense of peace in the room, it amazed me how welcoming and warm they were
I'm not a Quaker but have long felt there was 'something' about Quakers. This video was a joy! I felt myself drawn into the silence of community. What a lovely way to wed.
Having several ancestors who were Quakers and reading their certificates from 300 plus years ago, it's great to see that the earlier traditions have remained.
Oh that was really beautiful to see. I was married at a Mass in 1964... And that was very very beautiful, too. And my husband passed away 9 years ago this August, but we were married for 48 years with five children, and I have four grandchildren, I will be 78 this year. It was very refreshing and beautiful to see how things are done and the Quaker weddings. I ask God to bless and inspire all these marriages that they LAST and that their children and grandchildren have great Joy in the relationship that they started so sweetly and sincerely. I never knew that that's how people got married in a Quaker Wedding, and it was really refreshing and beautiful, and so sincere in our Lord.🙏👑🕊️🌹 It also gave me great peace to see that things can be done differently, and still all the love and the blessings are THERE ❣️. THANKS very much for this different point of view on a wedding, which was really an eye opener for me, but it gave me tremendous peace in witnessing the love these people have and their absolute genuine commitment to each other. I just know that they'll have a long and beautiful marriage BECAUSE of the sincerity of the SPIRITUALITY in each other, and with each other In our Lord Jesus.. Their children and grandchildren will be VERY happy because of the absolute SPIRITUAL sincerity that FLOWS in the relationships. God bless and love everybody, and stay CLOSE to the Lord IN all things...in Everything we think, say, or do, let it REFLECT that we have CHOSEN our Lord Jesus, and we will be FAITHFUL to Him ALL our lives, as He IS the source of our joy and our hope and our blessings. AMEN 🙏👑🌹🕊️🤗💕
We were married in a United Methodist Church in 1968 and have been married now 54 years. We had a lovely wedding with 300 people * my dad had a large family* But the love and prayers of those around you make a large difference. Congratulation for all the years you and your husband had together and we can thank God when anyone has a marriage that stands strong in this world now it takes faith and prayer and the desire to remain married. ( On both parts). Unconditional love is what holds together with God in the center.
I’m not sure why TH-cam suggested this video but I’m glad it did! Not sure what I loved more, the video (which was interesting and sounded so lovely) or the comments! I’m a Catholic and had the traditional (Filipino) Catholic wedding and as I watched this video, I felt like “gee, I wish our weddings were this poignant and so beautiful”. For those Catholics who commented, thank you for re-educating me about what my faith background teaches so I don’t feel sad or jealous but to still appreciate my traditions just as much as the traditions laid out in this informative video. But, someday if hubby and I do a vow renewal ceremony, I’d love to follow the Quaker format! So serene and beautiful. Simple and lovely!
That idea alone is beautiful God will bless it and has blessed it either way. In silence or in another platform will not matter as much as the love you carry in your heart. The intentions are so important I think? God reads our hearts and minds.
I'm getting ready for my Quaker wedding in two months, and these videos are so incredibly helpful! So glad my fiancé brought me into this wonderful faith, I can't imagine a more beautiful and meaningful ceremony.
I really enjoyed it. It was beautiful. It is nice to see that there is some sanity out there (and depth) with weddings. What a beautiful path the Quakers are!!!!
Love that meeting house too. My ancestors (probably many people's ancestors) helped build it, and they worshiped in it for generations. Amazing to think about how many generations of people have worshiped there over the years.
I love watching your videos. I sit quietly now and pray. I haven't prayed to God in a very long time. It has been so nice getting back in contact with him. Quietly praying for me has been a God send. ❤
This video recently popped up on my TH-cam feed and is the first of many I've watched. Thank you so much for your work. I have sat alone in silence first thing every morning for most of my adult life; it is a sacred time and is the most important part of my day. I had no idea that there are churches (meeting houses) that actually do that together. It is wonderful that your services are unplanned meetings where you sit in silence together and share with each other as divinely prompted (at least in the liberal branch of the Quakers). I would love to be a part of that. There must be very strong connections in your meeting houses because of this. I also love a lot of the other videos I've seen, particularly the one about SPICES. What I have seen so far strongly resonates with me. Thank you so much for your channel.
We don’t value mainstream weddings for us or our girls but this sounds just wonderful...Our wedding in early 70s was in my mums garden and I had asked the pastor to make it short and we asked neighbors and friends to pop in if they wanted. They did and we had fun. Our vows were and are heart felt...I wish I knew your beliefs earlier... I love how you express your Christianity.
Hi. Thank you very much for this video. I knew somewhat what to expect, because I had been to a Quaker funeral service years ago in Pennsylvania, outside of Philadelphia a ways. I grew up in Gladwyne, Pennsylvania. I was raised in the Episcopal church, and had godparents, Rollie and Edie Ellis, who were Quakers. Well, my uncle Rollie passed away, so I went with my parents to his funeral at a Friends Meeting house. And the same as with the wedding, there is no minister or preacher or some other person upfront conducting a service. Only a brother I think it was got up and then explained how a Quaker funeral is supposed to go. He told the people there that if anyone so felt moved to do so, they could get up and say a few words or more about Rolland Ellis. Well, I remember sitting in quite a lot of silence, with no one getting up to speak for a long time. I remember my father getting up & saying some words about uncle Rollie. It was very nice! It was very different I have to say! But it was very nice. Yes, you couldn’t sit there and help but think about the person who had passed on, in this case my godfather.
I grew up near Swarthmore so the Society of Friends was a presence in our consciousness even though our family was firmly rooted on both sides in the Catholic Church. I recall from my early childhood an aunt pointing out a woman on the street in Swarthmore who was said to be the last who used the classic plain dress, though my mother explained that the Friends generally dress simply and modestly. In Catholic school the Sisters explained clearly that it is the couple who minister Matrimony to each other. In fact there is a provision in canon law that in remote locations if no priest or deacon is expected for three months the couple can profess their vows in the presence of at least two witnesses and that will be that. I am a Catholic priest and I've always been sure to explain to any couple I'm preparing the sacred character of what they will be doing at the wedding. In our ritual there is no giving-away of the bride nor do I pronounce them man and wife. By the way I'm the family genealogist and discovered that my 9th great-grandfather Hans Landis was the last Anabaptist martyr in Zurich. My great-grandfather married a descendant, and his son, who had no detectable religion in my childhood experience of him, married a wonderful Irish-American Catholic lady who made darn sure that the progeny were Catholic. I've always had a fellow feeling for those of the Amish/Mennonite/Brethren tradition, maybe it's in the genes.
Thank you for this Father. At our Catholic wedding, my father walked me down the aisle and the priest asked, "Who gives this woman to be married to this man ?" and my father answered, "I do" and then took my hand and placed it in my husband's hand. I felt a wave of emotion at that moment. He then sat down next to my mother.
In most of the weddings for which I've been the official Church witness the father walks the bride up the aisle and does just what you describe, Cathy, but it's a matter of culture not part of the ritual.
Thank you for sharing. Just to be clear Quakers are not Anabaptist - Amish/Mennonite. Very different churches and historical lineage. There's a Quaker meetinghouse in eastern Ohio that was the last or one of the last to practice simple dress maybe about 60 years ago. Now days Quakers are just modern people who strive to live a simple life. I have seen some people who choose to convert to Quakerism because they want to adopt the simple dress and live that lifestyle, but that's simply up to them.
In how the marriage is established or "made", Quaker and Catholic thought seem very similar. In Catholic theology, the man and the woman communicate the Sacrament of Matrimony to each other, and the priest only functions as the Church's official witness. In extraordinary circumstances, non-priests can function as the official witness.
This sounds beautiful, real and personal. It reminds me of the actor Matthew McConaughey whispering vows in his brides' ear that were only between the two of them.
This is lovely, I am not quaker but I value that rich silence that descends in corporate worship. How tender is that silence that bolsters up the couple as they publicly declare they are now 'one'.
@@amsodoneworkingnow1978 Oklahoma doesn’t have a Quaker church anymore. The church I attended as a young girl is now a lake. They disbanded and I have a hard time finding a church that worships like the one I grew up in.
Bo Do .... the TITLE does NOT say .... *what is* a Quaker wedding - it says What to "EXPECT" at a Quaker wedding - Hmmmm ~ Maybe ... calm yourself & get your ADHD in check, and truly LISTEN with your Heart - and then, just then, you 'might' "hear" the answer ~ YOU cannot 'hear' b/c of all of the internal & external incessant chatter. that. you. are : (
@@cindyglass5827 The title clearly suggests that the video explains how a quaker wedding works but it just left me confused more half way into the video, so I clicked off... That's all I said. Any good video in my opinion should start with giving a brief overview before going into a detailed emotional report. I am happy for you that you liked the video and have a nice day! Peace.
'Simplicity' is the main thought and even in the special times, they meet it is always being respectful and dressing respectfully. Every minute and everyplace you are walking in the eyes of God.
I myself couldn’t sit in silence that long, the white noise would drive me insane and or I’m sure my stomach would make “that noise” and I’m almost certain I’d get a case of the coughs or giggles (from a strange noise). All power to u ALL!! To each there own, and whoever or whatever keeps one sane before death and on the straight and narrow. AMEN😉
So nice to see this on our tenth anniversary! I pass our wedding certificate full of all those signatures every night when I go upstairs. Jon, could you do a follow up on the clearness for marriage committee process! I also recommend that folks rematch this and keep an eye on the listening partners🌚
I really wish for a Quaker wedding one day... however, my boyfriend is not a Quaker and has never attended meeting for worship and I am not sure yet if/how we could make that work.
He will never know if he did no at least attend once. It does not mean he is committing himself if he visits a meeting. Maybe if he knows he will no need to speak? Perhaps by now, things have changed or he has attended a meeting at least once just to see what he may think?
I'm a salvationist my husband has left since our marriage for a faith reason. But he supports me 100% in my faith. I originally left with him but was unsettled in the place he chose to worship in. In fact HE sent me back and HE purchased my new uniform We worship different yes but we respect each other's faith
I live in the USA. Yes these weddings are recognized by our country. In the USA in every state there are technically 2 ways to be married. 1 by federal and state law. This is called a civil union. 2 by God. This can be in whatever religious house, meeting place, etc you are a part of. To be married by the laws of state and federal law you go to the register of deeds office in your county, and get a marriage license. You can then go to the magistrate office and set up a time and date to be married. The magistrate is not a religious officiant. They are a person hired by that state to fulfill a lawful position. This is the way most civil unions are done, but there are others. To be married in your religion varies greatly, depending on that religion.You can get married only by your religion's rules or ways. You can get married only by the laws of your state and federal government, or you can do both. That is up to you. There is only really one difference. Getting married by state and federal law is the only way you are recognized by those laws. So, the only way for instance you can file joint federal tax returns, make legal decisions for the other if they can't due to illness, stroke, coma, etc., and many other laws that involve married couples. This is why same sex couples fought for the right fight to be married by state and federal law. Hope that helps.
@@mJc268 Thank you that's very interesting. I was comparing it with Gypsy weddings which aren't recognised by anyone else other that themselves. I once saw a case where the wife wanted to claim a widows pension but was told they had no record of their marriage.
It was clearly stated that all legal paperwork had been done prior to this celebration. In Britain this would mean that a civil marriage ceremony had taken place to ensure they were legally we'd possible just couple and two witnesses the marriage registry completed. But to the couple that would not have been their wedding the celebration in front of and with their faith community would be in fact even though the civil service may have been a week or even a month before their faith one they consider their anniversary to be on the date of faith service
This was beautiful, but not true for all Quakers. We are part of a pastoral meeting and the pastor does officiate the service. I think the unstructured meetings near us that have no pastor or only lay pastors will have no officiant. Edited to say, I am sure if a member requested a non officiant ceremony in our meeting it would be accepted, it is just not what most people request.
The more I read and see of the Quaker Faith, the more I am drawn to it. The statement of 'no one can say you're married but you, your partner and God '. I have always known i didn't want to be conventionally married. After my dad died when i was 23, someone asked me who i would have to give me away now. My answer was 'no one'. I would have done it for my dad, to honour him, but after that, I'm not chattel to be given away. I'm also bisexual, so that would have been an issue in church. I don't believe in the hyperbole of the bible or of Christ being the son of God. I believe God lives within each of us. We can have a conversation with God wherever we're standing, we don't need to wait till Sunday. Now, if only i could find the right person!!
I think i need to clarify my earlier post. I am not saying that there was not a man called Jesus Christ. I believe there was, but today, we would have perceived him differently, in the same manner as, say, Mandela, or Mother Teresa etc. I think he must have been an exceptional man, but I do not believe he was the Son of God. I also believe that the bible, written 200 years after Christ's death, it's a book of fables and parables. This is not too day, at all, that both the story of Christ and the teachings of the bible are not great sources of wisdom, comfort and guidance. They are. But i do not believe them to be 100% accurate representations, either. Neither do i underestimate the power of these things in the lives of people who wholeheartedly believe them. As I once said to my ex partners extremely devout Catholic grandmother (may she rest in peace), when she asked me about my beliefs, which, at the time are non existent, 'as much as you can't tell me there is a God, I cannot tell you that there isn't. If your faith brings you comfort and peace, who am I to not believe you?'.
Am dating a Quaker lady and this has helped me understand her silence, hope all go well for as we have not talked about religion but l feel like l have always be a Quaker hope she can be my wife one day
From my experience, there is often someone within the meeting itself who is a registered marriage celebrant or registrar, or you can organise your own registered marriage celebrant, to witness the proceedings and sign and file the paperwork.
In Pennsylvania, a state founded by Quakers, there are unique marriage license laws where only the couple and I think 2 witnesses need to sign? Don't need an officiant or "expert" sign.
my Quaker ancestors were excommunicated for their interracial marriage by the Quaker community. It now makes sense how they were able to be married despite the pressure not to do so
Actually, although only two people marry, it is a community affair as it affects the community. The couple are in the community affect it and are affect by it.
I once saw a documentary about the Quakers on PBS. It said that men and women lived separately in the community houses and that celibacy was the rule. It said that this way of life would eventually disappear unless new members asked to join. There were interviews with the elderly remnant of a large group and a lot of interesting history was included. This video is wonderful. It’s a reminder that Faith is a living thing . It grows and is nourished by God’s Love.
I'm thinking that maybe you saw a documentary about the Shakers Utopian Society. Quakers have never lived with a vow of celibacy, unless it was an individual's choice. A long time ago men and women sat separately in Meeting for Worship and boys and girls were in separate rooms in Quaker schools, but we've never lived communally in community houses. Modern Quakers lead normal modern lives all over the country.
@@laurareynolds1332 Thanks Laura. That’s right! Now I remember the large segment about the furniture and the signature features of the houses! This video makes me want to find a meeting!
I've been to a Qaker wedding I believe that was such a beautiful the take the using a bible the and they in the service was very romantic. Whittier,ca was a started by Qakers.
I would love to be invited to a Quaker wedding. I'm in San Luis Obispo, California. If anyone local is planning to get married Quaker style, consider inviting me!
The assertion that a Quaker marriage is different in that the couple marry each other, as opposed to an officiating ‘marrying them’ is actually incorrect in that this is exactly the same principle that underlies marriage in other Christian churches. The priest is there to witness the marriage on behalf of the church but it is the couple who marry each other in the sight of a God.
@Angel Bulldog My mom’s family came from England as Quakers but then became Seventh Day Baptists (she called them Holy Rollers since dancing and drinking were frowned upon). It’s one of the oldest churches in the Rhode Island-Connecticut area.
There's not a rule or law about this. It's more of way of life that Quakers strive for. Everyone is allowed their interpretation of what simple means exactly. Quakers are modern people. Not to be confused with the Amish. The brides in this video were dressed simply and modestly especially compared to modern lavish weddings.
I was confused also. And I definitely did not understand the opening where she says, "I did not expect to be changed by becoming married, because I couldn’t tell that anything would be different."
Much better than traditional weddings but it still doesn’t go quite far enough in my view Traditional marriage is presented (especially to girls) as though it is a Fairytale! It certainly is not that and therefore it should not be presented as such
Just like with many churches - what this video did not go into - there is a process before the wedding that the couple goes through with a committee chosen by the meeting. This committee helps counsel the couple looking at realistic expectations. Again it's encouraging and establishing community support for the couple.
I love everything about quakerism except the silence. I hate the silence with so many people in the same room. I love singing and talking about the scripture. Not much for sermon from the front either.
No and yes. Quaker Oats call themselves “Quaker” because Quakers can’t lie. However, Quakers do not have much if anything to do with the company itself
No. The name and mascot of the oatmeal were chosen based on the stereotype of that era that Quakers were honest and trustworthy. But the chocolate companies Cadbury's and Rowntree's were founded by Quakers and run by Quakers for a long time!
Is this a culture or a religion? Or even some race involved here? I’m very fascinated by the religions that ppl chose for themselves and the religion their parents choose FOR them. I’m also super surprised to see black quakers? Who knew?🤷🏻♀️
I'm just someone who is interested in Quakerism. The things that are done at a wedding sound good, but it really sounded like the people talking, thought that the Quakers weddings were superior than other ones, which kinda made me sad as I guess I had it in my mind that Quakers were more inclusive towards humanity than that.
The couple marry themselves? True. FOR EVERY WEDDING CEREMONY. An officiant ensures that the particular faith's tenets are adhered to or that state laws are complied with, but the couple marry each other.
That's not what they mean. The couple performs the ceremony themselves. No officiant, telling them what to say and do. They know what to do. Its a moment just between them and God.
This isn’t a Quaker thing (the couple marries each other). It’s a Catholic thing. The couple marries each other. The priest/deacon is only there as a representative of the church (and state/province, where applicable) to witness the exchange of consent.
Partly true. While any Catholic, in an imergency, can baptize a person. Only an ordain priest can declare the couple to be married in the name of God. No priest, no marriage.
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You all probably dont care at all but does any of you know a way to log back into an instagram account..?
I was stupid lost the password. I would love any tips you can offer me!
@Tristen Joel Instablaster ;)
@London Gannon i really appreciate your reply. I got to the site on google and im trying it out now.
Takes a while so I will reply here later when my account password hopefully is recovered.
@London Gannon it did the trick and I finally got access to my account again. I'm so happy:D
Thanks so much you saved my account!
@Tristen Joel happy to help =)
I got invited to a Quaker wedding once while I was on a day trip. I walked into a meeting building because I needed the bathroom and they invited me to a worship service. The only way I can describe it was peacefully beautiful. There was a real sense of peace in the room, it amazed me how welcoming and warm they were
It was meant for you to need to stop there on that day at that time during your life! The Lord can hand us messages in such subtle ways.
I'm not a Quaker but have long felt there was 'something' about Quakers. This video was a joy! I felt myself drawn into the silence of community. What a lovely way to wed.
it was the Maori way of marriage before the govt got involved
Having several ancestors who were Quakers and reading their certificates from 300 plus years ago, it's great to see that the earlier traditions have remained.
Oh that was really beautiful to see. I was married at a Mass in 1964... And that was very very beautiful, too.
And my husband passed away 9 years ago this August, but we were married for 48 years with five children, and I have four grandchildren, I will be 78 this year.
It was very refreshing and beautiful to see how things are done and the Quaker weddings.
I ask God to bless and inspire all these marriages that they LAST and that their children and grandchildren have great Joy in the relationship that they started so sweetly and sincerely.
I never knew that that's how people got married in a Quaker Wedding, and it was really refreshing and beautiful, and so sincere in our Lord.🙏👑🕊️🌹
It also gave me great peace to see that things can be done differently, and still all the love and the blessings are THERE ❣️.
THANKS very much for this different point of view on a wedding, which was really an eye opener for me, but it gave me tremendous peace in witnessing the love these people have and their absolute genuine commitment to each other. I just know that they'll have a long and beautiful marriage BECAUSE of the sincerity of the SPIRITUALITY in each other, and with each other In our Lord Jesus..
Their children and grandchildren will be VERY happy because of the absolute SPIRITUAL sincerity that FLOWS in the relationships.
God bless and love everybody, and stay CLOSE to the Lord IN all things...in Everything we think, say, or do, let it REFLECT that we have CHOSEN our Lord Jesus, and we will be FAITHFUL to Him ALL our lives, as He IS the source of our joy and our hope and our blessings. AMEN 🙏👑🌹🕊️🤗💕
Very well said and definitely spoken from the heart.
We were married in a United Methodist Church in 1968 and have been married now 54 years. We had a lovely wedding with 300 people * my dad had a large family* But the love and prayers of those around you make a large difference.
Congratulation for all the years you and your husband had together and we can thank God when anyone has a marriage that stands strong in this world now it takes faith and prayer and the desire to remain married. ( On both parts). Unconditional love is what holds together with God in the center.
I’m not sure why TH-cam suggested this video but I’m glad it did! Not sure what I loved more, the video (which was interesting and sounded so lovely) or the comments! I’m a Catholic and had the traditional (Filipino) Catholic wedding and as I watched this video, I felt like “gee, I wish our weddings were this poignant and so beautiful”. For those Catholics who commented, thank you for re-educating me about what my faith background teaches so I don’t feel sad or jealous but to still appreciate my traditions just as much as the traditions laid out in this informative video. But, someday if hubby and I do a vow renewal ceremony, I’d love to follow the Quaker format! So serene and beautiful. Simple and lovely!
That idea alone is beautiful God will bless it and has blessed it either way. In silence or in another platform will not matter as much as the love you carry in your heart. The intentions are so important I think? God reads our hearts and minds.
i really appriciate this video...very helpful to understand the traditions behind Quaker weddings
Thank you for making this beautiful video. Thank you to the lovely people who shared their thoughts and special moments.
I'm getting ready for my Quaker wedding in two months, and these videos are so incredibly helpful! So glad my fiancé brought me into this wonderful faith, I can't imagine a more beautiful and meaningful ceremony.
I really enjoyed it. It was beautiful. It is nice to see that there is some sanity out there (and depth) with weddings. What a beautiful path the Quakers are!!!!
I will always remember my first visits to the Flushing NY Quaker Meeting House..I was so impressed by the values of quiet worship.
Love that meeting house too. My ancestors (probably many people's ancestors) helped build it, and they worshiped in it for generations. Amazing to think about how many generations of people have worshiped there over the years.
I love watching your videos. I sit quietly now and pray. I haven't prayed to God in a very long time. It has been so nice getting back in contact with him. Quietly praying for me has been a God send. ❤
This video recently popped up on my TH-cam feed and is the first of many I've watched. Thank you so much for your work. I have sat alone in silence first thing every morning for most of my adult life; it is a sacred time and is the most important part of my day. I had no idea that there are churches (meeting houses) that actually do that together. It is wonderful that your services are unplanned meetings where you sit in silence together and share with each other as divinely prompted (at least in the liberal branch of the Quakers). I would love to be a part of that. There must be very strong connections in your meeting houses because of this. I also love a lot of the other videos I've seen, particularly the one about SPICES. What I have seen so far strongly resonates with me. Thank you so much for your channel.
We don’t value mainstream weddings for us or our girls but this sounds just wonderful...Our wedding in early 70s was in my mums garden and I had asked the pastor to make it short and we asked neighbors and friends to pop in if they wanted. They did and we had fun. Our vows were and are heart felt...I wish I knew your beliefs earlier... I love how you express your Christianity.
I’m over here “do dah do” scrolling on TH-cam and these videos popped up. Quakers are pretty dope.
I come from a long line of Quakers and I've never heard of this kind of service or the wedding certificate. thanks for this beautiful video!
Great explanation. I can see this helping folks who are unfamiliar with Quaker practices and who are getting ready for a loved ones' wedding.
How did I get here? I’m not sure, but I’m glad that I did. This is pretty interesting.
Me, too. No idea how the algorithm pulled this up for me, but glad it did.
Same!
Good explanation but I would like to see a video of a quaker wedding to really get an idea of the proceedings.
Hi. Thank you very much for this video. I knew somewhat what to expect, because I had been to a Quaker funeral service years ago in Pennsylvania, outside of Philadelphia a ways. I grew up in Gladwyne, Pennsylvania. I was raised in the Episcopal church, and had godparents, Rollie and Edie Ellis, who were Quakers. Well, my uncle Rollie passed away, so I went with my parents to his funeral at a Friends Meeting house. And the same as with the wedding, there is no minister or preacher or some other person upfront conducting a service. Only a brother I think it was got up and then explained how a Quaker funeral is supposed to go. He told the people there that if anyone so felt moved to do so, they could get up and say a few words or more about Rolland Ellis. Well, I remember sitting in quite a lot of silence, with no one getting up to speak for a long time. I remember my father getting up & saying some words about uncle Rollie. It was very nice! It was very different I have to say! But it was very nice. Yes, you couldn’t sit there and help but think about the person who had passed on, in this case my godfather.
It was nice to see how my ancestors may have married. Thanks for making this video.
Looks lovely. These people seem really happy and genuine
I love this. It gives the older couples a chance to renew their vows the new couple.
I grew up near Swarthmore so the Society of Friends was a presence in our consciousness even though our family was firmly rooted on both sides in the Catholic Church. I recall from my early childhood an aunt pointing out a woman on the street in Swarthmore who was said to be the last who used the classic plain dress, though my mother explained that the Friends generally dress simply and modestly. In Catholic school the Sisters explained clearly that it is the couple who minister Matrimony to each other. In fact there is a provision in canon law that in remote locations if no priest or deacon is expected for three months the couple can profess their vows in the presence of at least two witnesses and that will be that. I am a Catholic priest and I've always been sure to explain to any couple I'm preparing the sacred character of what they will be doing at the wedding. In our ritual there is no giving-away of the bride nor do I pronounce them man and wife. By the way I'm the family genealogist and discovered that my 9th great-grandfather Hans Landis was the last Anabaptist martyr in Zurich. My great-grandfather married a descendant, and his son, who had no detectable religion in my childhood experience of him, married a wonderful Irish-American Catholic lady who made darn sure that the progeny were Catholic. I've always had a fellow feeling for those of the Amish/Mennonite/Brethren tradition, maybe it's in the genes.
Thank you for this Father. At our Catholic wedding, my father walked me down the aisle and the priest asked, "Who gives this woman to be married to this man ?" and my father answered, "I do" and then took my hand and placed it in my husband's hand. I felt a wave of emotion at that moment. He then sat down next to my mother.
PS This was in England.
In most of the weddings for which I've been the official Church witness the father walks the bride up the aisle and does just what you describe, Cathy, but it's a matter of culture not part of the ritual.
Thank you for sharing. Just to be clear Quakers are not Anabaptist - Amish/Mennonite. Very different churches and historical lineage. There's a Quaker meetinghouse in eastern Ohio that was the last or one of the last to practice simple dress maybe about 60 years ago. Now days Quakers are just modern people who strive to live a simple life. I have seen some people who choose to convert to Quakerism because they want to adopt the simple dress and live that lifestyle, but that's simply up to them.
@@laurareynolds1332 k
In how the marriage is established or "made", Quaker and Catholic thought seem very similar. In Catholic theology, the man and the woman communicate the Sacrament of Matrimony to each other, and the priest only functions as the Church's official witness. In extraordinary circumstances, non-priests can function as the official witness.
This sounds beautiful, real and personal. It reminds me of the actor Matthew McConaughey whispering vows in his brides' ear that were only between the two of them.
This is lovely, I am not quaker but I value that rich silence that descends in corporate worship. How tender is that silence that bolsters up the couple as they publicly declare they are now 'one'.
Thank you for sharing a glimpse into your lives & traditions.💕
I was just reading about it two days ago! Thank you for this video.
I grew up on a Quaker church. I miss it so much.
Go back your always welcome home to worship
@@amsodoneworkingnow1978 Oklahoma doesn’t have a Quaker church anymore. The church I attended as a young girl is now a lake. They disbanded and I have a hard time finding a church that worships like the one I grew up in.
These videos are so lovely
I was present at my grandmother's wedding to her her third husband. She was a Quaker. The groom was not. It was a lovely ceremony.
This is beautiful. Thank you.
I get being silent at times but I got to have some worship and prayer time that is not silent as well.
This is unbelievably beautiful.
Thank you for this enlightening video
KD, it's a pleasure to see you again. Wish I could have been at your wedding! I'm happy for you. :) --Christy
Quakers have the coolest weddings. A lot to teach non-quakers.
This is so beautiful.
Το quaker weating μου ειναι κατι ξενο.ειδα ομως μισ ταινια και περιπου γνωριζω μερικα εθιμα.πολυ ομορφη αφηγηση.
Thank you, this is a lovely explanation.
8min. and still no clue what a quaker wedding exactly is... this deserves a prize for most long winded explanatory video ever xD
It's a silent wedding.
They don't express any joy.
Almost feels like a funeral.
LOL
Bo Do .... the TITLE does NOT say .... *what is* a Quaker wedding - it says What to "EXPECT" at a Quaker wedding -
Hmmmm ~ Maybe ... calm yourself & get your ADHD in check, and truly LISTEN with your Heart - and then, just then, you 'might' "hear" the answer ~
YOU cannot 'hear' b/c of all of the internal & external incessant chatter. that. you. are : (
@@cindyglass5827 The title clearly suggests that the video explains how a quaker wedding works but it just left me confused more half way into the video, so I clicked off... That's all I said. Any good video in my opinion should start with giving a brief overview before going into a detailed emotional report. I am happy for you that you liked the video and have a nice day! Peace.
@@IH8YT Thank you! Your comment explained it to me more than half of that video 👍
Beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
'Simplicity' is the main thought and even in the special times, they meet it is always being respectful and dressing respectfully. Every minute and everyplace you are walking in the eyes of God.
I myself couldn’t sit in silence that long, the white noise would drive me insane and or I’m sure my stomach would make “that noise” and I’m almost certain I’d get a case of the coughs or giggles (from a strange noise). All power to u ALL!! To each there own, and whoever or whatever keeps one sane before death and on the straight and narrow. AMEN😉
That’s so romantic!❤️
This is so moving
This sounds so beautiful. I love it.
In a Catholic wedding the couple marry each other too. They administer the sacrament to each other. The priest is only there as a witness.
And the priest does not say," I pronounce you man and wife". He says, "Let me (or may I) present Mr. and Mrs.__________".
I didnt realise that... have been to Many catholic weddings and never paid attention to that detail. You are right of course
So nice to see this on our tenth anniversary! I pass our wedding certificate full of all those signatures every night when I go upstairs.
Jon, could you do a follow up on the clearness for marriage committee process!
I also recommend that folks rematch this and keep an eye on the listening partners🌚
I really wish for a Quaker wedding one day... however, my boyfriend is not a Quaker and has never attended meeting for worship and I am not sure yet if/how we could make that work.
He will never know if he did no at least attend once. It does not mean he is committing himself if he visits a meeting. Maybe if he knows he will no need to speak? Perhaps by now, things have changed or he has attended a meeting at least once just to see what he may think?
I'm a salvationist my husband has left since our marriage for a faith reason. But he supports me 100% in my faith. I originally left with him but was unsettled in the place he chose to worship in. In fact HE sent me back and HE purchased my new uniform
We worship different yes but we respect each other's faith
I'm 7th or maybe 8th generation quaker. For me it's not a action... it's a state of being. Not a passing trend but a way of everyday life.
Are these weddings recognised by the country they live in?
Yes, I thought you had to be married by someone
I live in the USA. Yes these weddings are recognized by our country. In the USA in every state there are technically 2 ways to be married. 1 by federal and state law. This is called a civil union. 2 by God. This can be in whatever religious house, meeting place, etc you are a part of. To be married by the laws of state and federal law you go to the register of deeds office in your county, and get a marriage license. You can then go to the magistrate office and set up a time and date to be married. The magistrate is not a religious officiant. They are a person hired by that state to fulfill a lawful position. This is the way most civil unions are done, but there are others. To be married in your religion varies greatly, depending on that religion.You can get married only by your religion's rules or ways. You can get married only by the laws of your state and federal government, or you can do both. That is up to you.
There is only really one difference. Getting married by state and federal law is the only way you are recognized by those laws. So, the only way for instance you can file joint federal tax returns, make legal decisions for the other if they can't due to illness, stroke, coma, etc., and many other laws that involve married couples. This is why same sex couples fought for the right fight to be married by state and federal law.
Hope that helps.
@@mJc268 Thank you that's very interesting. I was comparing it with Gypsy weddings which aren't recognised by anyone else other that themselves. I once saw a case where the wife wanted to claim a widows pension but was told they had no record of their marriage.
It was clearly stated that all legal paperwork had been done prior to this celebration. In Britain this would mean that a civil marriage ceremony had taken place to ensure they were legally we'd possible just couple and two witnesses the marriage registry completed. But to the couple that would not have been their wedding the celebration in front of and with their faith community would be in fact even though the civil service may have been a week or even a month before their faith one they consider their anniversary to be on the date of faith service
@@amsodoneworkingnow1978 Yes I know how things work in the UK.
This was beautiful, but not true for all Quakers. We are part of a pastoral meeting and the pastor does officiate the service. I think the unstructured meetings near us that have no pastor or only lay pastors will have no officiant. Edited to say, I am sure if a member requested a non officiant ceremony in our meeting it would be accepted, it is just not what most people request.
Wonderful!
After watching this video, I still don’t know what to expect.
Valerie Brown’s voice. ❤️❤️❤️
The more I read and see of the Quaker Faith, the more I am drawn to it. The statement of 'no one can say you're married but you, your partner and God '. I have always known i didn't want to be conventionally married. After my dad died when i was 23, someone asked me who i would have to give me away now. My answer was 'no one'. I would have done it for my dad, to honour him, but after that, I'm not chattel to be given away. I'm also bisexual, so that would have been an issue in church. I don't believe in the hyperbole of the bible or of Christ being the son of God. I believe God lives within each of us. We can have a conversation with God wherever we're standing, we don't need to wait till Sunday. Now, if only i could find the right person!!
I think i need to clarify my earlier post. I am not saying that there was not a man called Jesus Christ. I believe there was, but today, we would have perceived him differently, in the same manner as, say, Mandela, or Mother Teresa etc. I think he must have been an exceptional man, but I do not believe he was the Son of God. I also believe that the bible, written 200 years after Christ's death, it's a book of fables and parables. This is not too day, at all, that both the story of Christ and the teachings of the bible are not great sources of wisdom, comfort and guidance. They are. But i do not believe them to be 100% accurate representations, either.
Neither do i underestimate the power of these things in the lives of people who wholeheartedly believe them. As I once said to my ex partners extremely devout Catholic grandmother (may she rest in peace), when she asked me about my beliefs, which, at the time are non existent, 'as much as you can't tell me there is a God, I cannot tell you that there isn't. If your faith brings you comfort and peace, who am I to not believe you?'.
good luck. you sound a bit like a pantheist as well, but I don't think pantheists have a church or "meeting room" like Quakers do.
I could listen to that Valerie woman's voice all day. So soothing!
th-cam.com/video/2iPHRhRVbPk/w-d-xo.html
This is the only faith that makes sense to me
Who signs the legal marriage license?
Am dating a Quaker lady and this has helped me understand her silence, hope all go well for as we have not talked about religion but l feel like l have always be a Quaker hope she can be my wife one day
Just a question: who signs the marriage license that gets filed with the state?
From my experience, there is often someone within the meeting itself who is a registered marriage celebrant or registrar, or you can organise your own registered marriage celebrant, to witness the proceedings and sign and file the paperwork.
One of the Elders I think
In Pennsylvania, a state founded by Quakers, there are unique marriage license laws where only the couple and I think 2 witnesses need to sign? Don't need an officiant or "expert" sign.
Every time Anna laughed, I laughed too 😁
So does the state you live in consider you husband and wife if you do not sign a wedding certificate for that state.
Beautiful
my Quaker ancestors were excommunicated for their interracial marriage by the Quaker community. It now makes sense how they were able to be married despite the pressure not to do so
I have long thought that our most sacred private rite is marriage (and our most sacred public rite is the secret ballot)
Actually, although only two people marry, it is a community affair as it affects the community. The couple are in the community affect it and are affect by it.
I once saw a documentary about the Quakers on PBS. It said that men and women lived separately in the community houses and that celibacy was the rule. It said that this way of life would eventually disappear unless new members asked to join. There were interviews with the elderly remnant of a large group and a lot of interesting history was included. This video is wonderful. It’s a reminder that Faith is a living thing . It grows and is nourished by God’s Love.
I'm thinking that maybe you saw a documentary about the Shakers Utopian Society. Quakers have never lived with a vow of celibacy, unless it was an individual's choice. A long time ago men and women sat separately in Meeting for Worship and boys and girls were in separate rooms in Quaker schools, but we've never lived communally in community houses. Modern Quakers lead normal modern lives all over the country.
@@laurareynolds1332 Thanks Laura. That’s right! Now I remember the large segment about the furniture and the signature features of the houses! This video makes me want to find a meeting!
This was beautiful
I love this so much.
WHY DO YOU READ COMMENTS BEFORE WATCHING THE VIDEO? 🤔
For conflicting statements, thought they would be more modestly dressed.
Very interesting
I've been to a Qaker wedding I believe that was such a beautiful the take the using a bible the and they in the service was very romantic. Whittier,ca was a started by Qakers.
I would love to be invited to a Quaker wedding. I'm in San Luis Obispo, California. If anyone local is planning to get married Quaker style, consider inviting me!
Interesting, I like it.
Nice people
Disappointed not to see any (explicit) mention of same-sex Quaker weddings.
I LOVE this 💞
The assertion that a Quaker marriage is different in that the couple marry each other, as opposed to an officiating ‘marrying them’ is actually incorrect in that this is exactly the same principle that underlies marriage in other Christian churches. The priest is there to witness the marriage on behalf of the church but it is the couple who marry each other in the sight of a God.
I didn’t know Quakers were still around I thought it was something that died out
@Angel Bulldog oh yeah maybe it was the shakers
@Angel Bulldog My mom’s family came from England as Quakers but then became Seventh Day Baptists (she called them Holy Rollers since dancing and drinking were frowned upon). It’s one of the oldest churches in the Rhode Island-Connecticut area.
Quakers, 7:17 Nose piercing? 17:21 Tattoos?
Very common.
I'm confused... I thought Quakers dressed modestly and simply. These pictures have women (Bride) dressed very modern and not modest.
There's not a rule or law about this. It's more of way of life that Quakers strive for. Everyone is allowed their interpretation of what simple means exactly. Quakers are modern people. Not to be confused with the Amish. The brides in this video were dressed simply and modestly especially compared to modern lavish weddings.
I was confused also. And I definitely did not understand the opening where she says, "I did not expect to be changed by becoming married, because I couldn’t tell that anything would be different."
So beautiful and meaningful. 😊😢😊
Much better than traditional weddings but it still doesn’t go quite far enough in my view
Traditional marriage is presented (especially to girls) as though it is a Fairytale!
It certainly is not that and therefore it should not be presented as such
You’re right it is certainly no fairytale. For all practical purposes it is like entering a business negotiation followed by a contract
Just like with many churches - what this video did not go into - there is a process before the wedding that the couple goes through with a committee chosen by the meeting. This committee helps counsel the couple looking at realistic expectations. Again it's encouraging and establishing community support for the couple.
If this is how you girls feel about marriage then you have absolutely no idea what it truly means
@@spiritwings4592 Why don’t you share your thoughts in detail on what you believe it to be
I love everything about quakerism except the silence. I hate the silence with so many people in the same room. I love singing and talking about the scripture. Not much for sermon from the front either.
The silence of a "gathered" meeting is very special
Before sunrise brought me here
Does this have to do with oatmeal in some way?
No and yes. Quaker Oats call themselves “Quaker” because Quakers can’t lie. However, Quakers do not have much if anything to do with the company itself
No. The name and mascot of the oatmeal were chosen based on the stereotype of that era that Quakers were honest and trustworthy. But the chocolate companies Cadbury's and Rowntree's were founded by Quakers and run by Quakers for a long time!
simple beauty
Is this a culture or a religion? Or even some race involved here? I’m very fascinated by the religions that ppl chose for themselves and the religion their parents choose FOR them. I’m also super surprised to see black quakers? Who knew?🤷🏻♀️
Didn't know there where Black Quakers! One man says he faced his partner. Does this mean they accept same sex marriages?
They do 👍🏼
Wow....but thanks for sharing.
Quakers were intrumental in making slavery iligal
I'm just someone who is interested in Quakerism. The things that are done at a wedding sound good, but it really sounded like the people talking, thought that the Quakers weddings were superior than other ones, which kinda made me sad as I guess I had it in my mind that Quakers were more inclusive towards humanity than that.
No one in this video said or implied that quaker weddings are better than any other. It is just that they are a better fit for Quakers.
what to exoect... i think:
not a lot of speeches?
: )
Do Quakers ever divorce ?
yes.
"traditional" quaker vows. Interesting. My wife and I had a similar leading, but to break tradition in order to absolutely follow God.
What’s is Quaker? Christians? Thanks
Nope. They don't follow any religion but respect every religion, culture and traditions🤗.
@@satizsapkota1185 Okay well that’s not true. Quakers are, generally Christians, with the exception of a few Universalists.
Ok so say a couple is of different races. On black one white? Then how will that go?
The couple marry themselves? True. FOR EVERY WEDDING CEREMONY. An officiant ensures that the particular faith's tenets are adhered to or that state laws are complied with, but the couple marry each other.
That's not what they mean. The couple performs the ceremony themselves. No officiant, telling them what to say and do. They know what to do. Its a moment just between them and God.
This isn’t a Quaker thing (the couple marries each other). It’s a Catholic thing. The couple marries each other. The priest/deacon is only there as a representative of the church (and state/province, where applicable) to witness the exchange of consent.
Partly true. While any Catholic, in an imergency, can baptize a person. Only an ordain priest can declare the couple to be married in the name of God. No priest, no marriage.
This is not how my Quaker wedding was!
What was the differences?
It was a pretty normal wedding, with the pastor up front. Just a regular wedding on a Saturday. With no church service first or anything.
@@robinbarrett5301 Ohhh youre that kinda Quaker. The one with a “pastor”. Got it