Blythe Baird - When the Fat Girl Gets Skinny
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ก.ย. 2024
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Blythe Baird, performing at NPS 2015 in Oakland, CA.
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"If you develop a eating disorder when you are already thin, you go to the hospital. If you develop a eating disorder when you are not thin to begin with you are a success story." Hit me so hard that part
I’m here for you. How’re you feeling?
Felt that
Yah that one hit hard
Me too!
@@Aileen_moon Do you really care?
"when you develop an eating disorder when you are already thin to begin with you go to the hospital, if you develop an eating disorder when you are not thin to begin with you are a success story"
yeah because they don't know you have anorexia till ur dangerously skinny. they can't see inside your head. being healthy is more common than developing a full blown eating disorder
I remember hitting my lowest point and being taken to a hospital by my request. I remember even though I exhibited many anorexic traits and behaviors I was diagnosed with EDNOS BC I wasn't thin enough. I remember using that as fuel against myself to say "see, you aren't doing enough. You're still fat." And that's just so fucked up
Juana Paula what
grace l. langsford I started to cry when she said that, it hit a nerve
@jennyeet This comment is stupid and proves the poets point.
“I only feel pretty when I am hungry” this one sentence hurt me
Me too.
Same
...yeah..
That sentence hit me hard :(
AYLIN KOHAN are you stupid?😂I’m not saying skinny is healthy I’m saying fat is unhealthy, there’s a balance.
'If you develop an eating disorder when you are already thin to begin with, you go to the hospital; if you develop an eating disorder when you are not thin to begin with, you are . . a success story'
this line
this line in particular stood out to me the most
This got me so bad
+Ben Liow hit home...
it's so sad how true that line is. i am currently fighting for my life against anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa. i feel like there is no hope. i need help, but my parents won't provide me the professional help i need. i don't know what to do anymore
+melodies4life thank you so much. i'll defiantly check her channel out. i am actually crying because you're the first person who has cared.. thank you so much
"As a child 'fat' was the first word people used to describe me, which didn't offend me. Until I found out it was supposed to."
Everdeen10 yup
Everdeen10 I cried when she said that
That line broke me and that's when the floodgates of my eyes opened
Yep...
Everdeen10 so true
“Why was I supposed to stop being hungry when anorexia was the most interesting thing about me”
AYLIN KOHAN Not hungry anymore
Yes. Exactly this. Powerful.
Still hungry but less with every visit to the therapist and every hug.
@@fabi45 that's great! I'm so proud of you for how far you've come! ❤
"not obsessed with being empty, but afraid of being full"
Literally me
@@KCCain-pi8oi you ok?
K.C. Cain same. I’m bigger 170lbs and I’m 14 but I’m really athletic and EXTREMELY very good at sports and even the captain or some teams. But I wanna get smaller except it’s hard. And it’s not that I wanna starve I just hate being full cuz it makes me feel horrible
im scared of being full, but afraid of being too skinny.. its hard to achieve both
Agree, I was so small naturally. Around 60kg appropriate weight for my age and height. People called me aneorexic, and I was not just small and my twin and I would try to gain weight, my twin has trouble cause she has a slow gold bladder. I have had 2 children now and am at the right weight, just have. A bit of a belly 😁 but I have learnt to love myself
"if you are not recovering, you are dying."
that makes me cry everytime
crowntheaj I read this comment as she said it. Wow...powerful.
crowntheaj I'm the like that make it 1.8k
luca vii
Yeah that hurt me 😔✊🏼
what does it mean
“Looking at an apple as an apple, not 60 calories or half an hour of pushups” this is exactly what I’m suffering with, the calculator in my head spinning
Alyssa Nering this it exactly how I feel. I can’t eat one thing without thinking about all of that
Ik i can’t do much but you’re beautiful and wanted angel 🥺💞
Me too. I’m glad I’m not alone.
same. all i see is calories. 39 calories in that and 78 in that.
The only thing I think about when eating or drinking anything
"When I was little, someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up and I said... small."
“So when I evaporated everyone congratulated me on getting ‘healthy” ... that hit home . Very moving .
Danielle Pascal damn
Yolo swag
i read that just as she said it
what does the line mean to you?
I stopped eating when I was fat, (felt fat) to the point where I went from a size 12 to a size 3 and my therapist told me, "I don't see your rib cage caving in. that's when the problem starts."
Abby I can relate
from the bottom of my heart i hope you found a better therapist (which shouldn't be hard considering this one was a flippin mofo *every scold ever* and that you're healing and feeling better
That's messed up... I hope you're doing better and I hope you found a new therapist.
Same but it was if I can't see your intestines then you aren't skinny at all
I truly hope you get better. I am size 14 and I absolutely hate my body. I know the feeling too well.
“I say I am sick, they so ‘No! You’re an inspiration!’ How could I not fall in love with my illness?” Damn that is beautiful
How are you? I hope you aren’t sick anymore. How do you feel?
"How could i not fall in love with my illness?"
'not obsessed with being empty but afraid of being full'- I loved this poem
I read that as it was said
" i used to be proud when i was cold in a warm room" man i feel that
AYLIN KOHAN thanks for asking! That’s so sweet. Honestly I’m not doing too well but eh. 💛
AYLIN KOHAN thank you so much ❤️ you’re a amazing. Thank you so much, I really needed this.
❤️❤️❤️🥰
AYLIN KOHAN hey. I’ve been thinking about you a bit haha 😅. You’re really sweet and I’m really grateful for your support so I was wondering if you wanted to share contact info? Like insta gram. I’d love to get to know you better ☺️
Don’t have to if you don’t want to of course!
AYLIN KOHAN I’m @sk9nnyp9g on snap 💛💛💛
Thank you for being so sweet
@@it.9076 this thread made me tear up a lil bit 🥺
"If you are not recovering, you are dying"
- honestly, my life qoute now.
Stay strong❤
Agree
Yup same.
Anne Sophie This is a fact for me.. I am not recovering, and probably never will.
Anne Sophie When I got sick I was thin.. When we found out why I kept getting thinner I was in the hospital for 3+ days. Than I was sent to a doctors twice a week.
"if you develop an eating disorder when you are already thin to begin with you go to the hospital. if you develop an eating disorder when you are not thin to begin with, you are a success story." DAMN
heatherhaux is e
I got called a success story by my parents when i had an eating disorder. It only made it worse
“Said he is just so glad to finally see me taking care of myself”... damn... that hit home
My dad said the same thing to me in passing when i hadnt had the time or patience to eat much more than public school lunch(may as well be cardboard) and dinner and i wanted to cry
It's almost exactly what my grandfather told me when I was like 11. He would weigh me whenever he saw me and when I stopped gaining weight, he was thrilled. But I had stopped eating. And 2 years later....... Here I am
How are you now?
@@emmahancock8911 how’re you now?
@@saavikofvulcan6887 how are things now?
"I only feel pretty when I'm hungry"
I thought I was alone.. Who else feels this way?
Everyone I think...
Me.
I don’t necessarily feel “pretty” when I’m hungry, just powerful and proud of myself for not giving in.
All the time
@AYLIN KOHAN I'm a lot better
This was me.. I developed anorexia while I was overweight and all I got was congrats. I'm crying. This is so true.
+Ariel H I developed anorexia when I was thin, as I have always been, but my some of my friends (the ones who were not concerned out of heir minds about me) and my friends friends who I did not know were complimenting me on how good I looked and asking me how I did it. I became the resident weight loss guru who told nothing but lies when I told them to just eat healthily, smaller portions and exercise. I was never following those words.
Im fat too (this isn't me). How did u become anorexic ?? I wish I could. All I do is eat when I want to look like the girl in my avi ! Smh
+bristay1 woah why are you wishing anorexia on yourself it's a serious illness if I were you I wouldn't make that kind of comment on this video!
***** I feel really sad now that I even posted my original comment. It never occurred to me that someone might read my words and be inspired to want to be anorexic. That really hurts. I cannot and will not insult you for saying what you did because I don't find you stupid or anything else along those lines. I just feel very sad for you that you would wish you could become anorexic. I actually want to give you a hug. I am sorry that you would feel so low about yourself to the point of wishing such a devastating mental illness on yourself. Whilst anorexia from the outsiders perspective looks like it's all about weight loss and being/looking thin or like a bag of bones, it really goes far much deeper than the surface.
I have been tortured by very terrible thoughts and pictures in my head for years since I developed anorexia which have completely ruined my ability to sleep peacefully, sleep long enough or at times, sleep at all. It's beyond awful having thoughts that convince you to physically harm yourself, cut, beat, punch and starve yourself. The thoughts of utter hopelessness are by far the worst as they overtake you and lead you down the very slippery slope of suicidal thoughts and ideations. This is something I hardly ever speak about but I believe that ever since I developed anorexia I have become dumber and dumber. I forget things very easily and can't remember the simplest things that I used to be able to remember. Growing up I was an excellent English student, but ever since anorexia I have lost that excellence. Anorexia has left me with terribly painful joints which lock, crack, click and pop everyday. The pain which is throbbing and stabbing is sometimes so bad, especially when I get it in my pelvis, that I cannot put any weight on either one or both of my legs and as a result, I cannot walk. I lost a lot of friends and alienated my family because of this illness.
A few years ago my cousin was displaying a number of symptoms which made me worry that she had also become anorexic. I can't even describe the amount of pain and sadness I felt that she might be anorexic. It's been a terrible disorder and I genuinely would never want anyone else to suffer from it. It turned out that she had developed very severe disordered eating and had she carried on she would have become anorexic. I recognised myself in her, especially the early stages of my anorexia.
To answer your question, how did I become anorexic, I was already suffering from depression and had tried to kill myself 3 times when I was 15. I had absolutely no plans whatsoever of living past 16. I had developed disordered eating patterns at 15 and I was already cutting myself quite severely on a daily basis. I wanted nothing more than to no longer exist. All my childhood I went through many bouts of really hating the fact that I had ever been born in the first place starting from when I was about 4. I was an incredibly miserable child. I was so angry and so sad and very driven to commit suicide. I was sexually abused once as a child and a number of times as a teenager. The abuse that broke the camels back as they say was when I was 17 and that was when and how the disordered eating developed into anorexia nervosa. Somehow the only way I found that I could cope with what happened was to stop eating.
I was very quickly diagnosed and put into therapy for anorexia even though I was already in therapy for all my other issues. Unfortunately for me, I was so deeply entrenched in the anorexia that I was in complete denial about it. I couldn't see and I couldn't believe that there was something wrong with me. I couldn't see that I was sick. Even though I carried on with this therapy, I only got worse and worse instead of better. Anorexia was like this incredibly powerful force that nothing and no one could make me see was ruining me.
I was already mentally ill and perhaps predisposed to anorexia from birth, who knows, so this is the condensed story of how I became anorexic. It wasn't a diet. Anorexia is not a diet it's a sickness deep inside of your head rooted in a myriad of other factors which affect and influence its development in a person.
Perhaps this will make you rethink your stance on this wish you have for yourself or perhaps not. Either way, I can only but hope that you see that anorexia is never something that one would wish for. If I had the chance to go back in time and undo my anorexia, I actually would because it has wasted so many years of my life. I've lost far too much time to it. I had to repeat college (Britain) twice and university once because of anorexia. I have lost a lot of time and years repeating things whilst my friends moved on with their lives. I am even behind my younger cousins who have already graduated from university whilst here I am finally in my final year of university. Why would I not go back in time to undo all this waste of life? Anorexia is such a waste of life. Please take care of your life.
With plenty of love and concern for your sanity
Hil
+Hil S hey hil, even if this message wasnt ment for me, i feel involved as i feel like im starding to get anorexic... even if i dont want to. hearing your story makes me sad and i feel very sorry for you (even if that doesnt help anyone). anyways i want to thank you for sharing your story. thats very brave of you. i wish you all the best and that you stay healthy. greetings from germany, prinzessin silbermilch
I feel like I’ve found a mirror of myself in this.
Family at my auntie’s birthday complimenting me on my weight loss and telling me how great I looked, not knowing I would purge what we ate for lunch, and have 6 laxatives, just to be sure not one calorie of my undressed salad would be absorbed.
After 2 years, I gave up on my anorexia. Not to heal myself, but because I had no willpower left. I quickly became overweight again. And with that came the concern and disappointment from family.
My mother tried to explain to me how she was only worried for my health - that’s all. ‘Remember you in that dress you wore to your auntie’s birthday? You looked so beautiful that day’.
A knife to my stomach, that had already been traumatised enough. If only she knew.
And so the demon returned. ‘How could I not fall in love with my illness?’
I hope you don't let it take you back to being sick. Focus on being healthy not skinny. If you told her the truth she be horrified. No decent parent wants their child to go through the hell that is Anorexia. You can find another way. I hope you are doing well.
@@kats6736 not all parents are decent.
I'm so sorry you went through that. I hope your parents will rethink those comments and decide not to say such harmful things, and I hope you also have safe people who understand what you need.
Wow thanks for all the support! A year later my family know my story and have helped me. I’m a healthy weight and have fallen in love with cooking again. I still have bad thoughts from time to time, but I know how to manage them. Thank you ❤️
qween-zee I hope you’re looking after yourself in quarantine babe, anorexia is a stopper on one’s life and you should fight to keep your life free and unrestricted ❤️ you deserve it .
Because I only feel pretty when I'm hungry.... too real man that hit me so much omg
It's so true
Love that song, love that name
same i started tearing up I got so emotional
same
When anorexia was the only interesting thing about me.....damn, that line made me lose it. ❤😯
dreamergirlbaby the best pine, yeah. Really intense
Line*
Loose weight?
"how could i not be in love with my illness" ACTUAL CHILLS.
Thank you Button for sharing my poem! 💜 xoxox
+Blythe B this was amazing and thank you for sharing x
+Blythe B you have written some of my favourite poems, thank you for sharing your gift with words.
this is so amazing. I love you.
+Blythe B You are so amazing, your words are so touching. thank you for sharing!!
+Blythe B I would love to talk with you, Blythe.
"It didn't offend me until I learned it was suppose to." Damn.
“if didn’t offended me until i found out it was supposed to” that hit hard
And I hate the fact it is actually true...
I’m here for you
@@kimberlyceulemans6015 I’m here for you
"if you are not recovering, you are dying" that line gets me everytime I love this so much
Alanna Gibney I
i know it sounds ridiculous, but that shit is hard
I felt my heart vibrate when she said "or why breakfast tastes like giving up" I jumped an thought I died for a second because I felt addressed
@AYLIN KOHAN Fine. I may not be very kind to myself when I make myself a meal, but I don't think I'm near anorexia and that's a plus
@@backpain5280 Thank you! There's going to be up days and down days but I'm relatively healthy, thanks for checking up on me, and memento mori my friend
How’re you now?
@@Aileen_moon I'm doing great, thanks for checking
@@makedadavies9900 I'm glad you're ok. Keep fighting
"When I was little someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said 'small'".
Damn.
And this right here is why I *never* comment or compliment someone on their weight. You never know how someone lost it. Maybe it was drugs. Maybe it was starving themselves. Maybe it was severe stress or depression. Maybe it was another illness. Would that not feel shitty being complimented for something you didn't do in a healthy way, or that maybe it was never your intention and just a side effect of something horrible going on in your life?
And then, what happens if the weight comes back on? Would that not make them feel even worse than before? We, as a society, focus far too much on weight. Yes, let's encourage a healthy lifestyle, but you cannot judge someone's health solely on their size.
+English3Muffin I feel this. I've always been skinny naturally but I might also have a condition that makes me like this. I have not been diagnosed but it is very likely and I have so many girls saying that they want to be as skinny as I am wishing they could have my body type and I always say "No, you really don't." because they don't know what it's really like. Everything else is so small, have fun having almost no breasts, being perpetually cold, not being able to be a healthy weight, gain weight, and getting made fun of for being too skinny when you're my weight.
Thank you
+English3Muffin This ^^. I went to the doctor yesterday. I'm clinically obese, but something is going wrong with my body. I started losing weight for no reason. It's scary. I have an autoimmune disorder, and I haven't changed anything. It's hard to eat nothing but liquids (because I can't swallow well any more) and not lose weight, but I wasn't losing weight on a liquid diet a month ago. All my doctor would say was "Congratulations -- at least you're losing weight." Even my doctor doesn't see my aberrant weight loss as something symptomatic of a failure of my body... he just figures I won't die 'fat'.
+Storm Weaver. Try another doctor.
Thank you. I wish everyone could be as enlightened. When I gained weight, everyone asked me if I stopped exercising. No, I started eating properly.
"I say 'I am sick'; they say 'no, you're an inspiration'. How could I not fall in love with my illness?"
"If you are not recovering, you are dying." Damn that hit me really hard. Wow.
im not recovering from mine, sadly
@@spare_quarter4086 same.. atleast not until I'm underweight.. then we'll see..
I've never cried so hard from a slam poetry, until I watched this.
Adelin Rizkyka this was like a year ago
But there a short film with this poem. Recommend checking it out.
Michael Goldshmidt i respectfully disagree. when I saw this the first time all I thought about is how so many “over weight” people feel this way. It’s ok to want to look a certain way but do it in a health manner. Becoming anorexic or bulimic because you don’t want to be fat is a horrible thing that is becoming too common.
Michael Goldshmidt I’ve been anorexic for over a decade. I’ve been too skinny, too fat, recovered, and on the verge of death multiple times. Everything she said is true.
Same I keep coming back to this because I relate and every time I cry my eyes out
@Michael Goldshmidt her message is amazing, its a true story for so many people, it's real and that's the best you can get
I love how she said less calories in an apple than there really are, so girls who are trying to trigger themselves or find out how many calories are in things will count less
Oh I didn't get that, thanks for pointing it out. [Even though people with EDs usually round it up e.g 70=100]
the really sad thing is that i know exactly how many calories are in a pink lady, a granny smith etc
Tegan O'Neill damn maam ;-; i wish you the best!
I thought it was 64 but maybe my apples are smaller?
Yes frrrr she knows
1:31 that line... it's relatable.. people congratulate me for losing 35 pounds in much less than a year, they don't care how i did it, my pain is beauty to them.
I'm so very sorry. I hope you're doing better now. When others ignore truths, it's hard not to ignore them too. But we must learn to take care of ourselves where others don't🥺 I wish you the best
"If you develop an eating disorder when you are not thin to begin with you are a success story" this line hit me hard
“If you are not recovering you are dying” that part hit me so hard-
"When you're developing an eating disorder when you're not thin to begin with, you're an success story"
so true, sadly
Michael Goldshmidt That’s not how it works. Anorexia is a mental illness. You can’t “just quit”
@Michael Goldshmidt doesn't mean it's the correct way to lose weight. Just get sick so you get skinny then become better? Weird logic u got mate. Especially the "some people" so not everyone. "Some people die, some people don't ah whatever it could help you!" gtfo with this helping people into mental illnesses bullshit.
im so glad someone finally spoke about this. i hate that no one cares how the fat girl is losing weight, just as long as shes doing it.
“I only feel pretty when I’m hungry” and “not obsessed of being empty but afraid of being full”
wow so true
Thanks for this poetry
I saw her perform this at Button Poetry Live a few days ago and it was absolutely my favorite! She is amazing!
Glad you enjoyed the show! Hope to see you back!
+Button Poetry is there a link to find out where these shows are going to be?
+missteanus Button Poetry Live is held every first Monday of the month at Camp Bar in downtown Saint Paul: facebook.com/buttonpoetrylive
For PSi events, such as the National Poetry Slam, where this video was filmed, you should check out www.poetryslam.com
+FruityPearls Check comment above.
Button Poetry Yes but in which country is Button Live located? I am from South Africa so... is there any Button Poetry in South Africa too or is it just at Camp Bar in downtown Saint Paul?
wow what she says about people praising her because she had lost weight even at the expense of her health is really telling about the priorities in society regarding the human body - especially the bodies of young girls who have to see skinny bodies everywhere. This is a sick society, a skinny body is seen as healthy whilst a fat body is seen as undesirable. You can be skinny or a bit overweight without being unhealthy. The problem is that skinniness is seen as the epitome of beauty even though not all body types can adjust to that canon of beauty.
I know your comment was made two years ago but I have this male friend and he's like really thin and he has a Sixpack and I hear the boys saying they want to look like him. But they don't know that he just eats shit, pizza after pizza, bags of chips, chocolate and just so much more. Especially in the holidays he tells me that he threw up because he just ate shit. He could say that he can eat two pizzas and still feel hungry and people wouldn't say anything, I Mean, he's skinny and he has a Sixpack, so he's healthy right.
I am overweight, now imagine me saying that I can eat two pizzas. You'd hear them talking shit about me. Because I apparently am unhealthy. But he isn't?
And I hate my body, and I still just see skinny people everywhere. But I once saw this plus size model modelling jeans and a shirt in a fashion magazine, and no she didn't have a perfect hourglass body. I can assure you she looked really good, like damn. And for a split second I thought "if she looks good, why can't I?"
Representation just really matters and people don't take it serious, but it's true. We need to see people of color more often, we need to see plus size women just slaying it, people of all ethnicities. Something needs to change.
Michael Goldshmidt It’s not about people being attracted to anything, it’s about media and how young girls are pressured into diet culture and body dysmorphia
@Michael Goldshmidt
Well how about stop bullying ppl for how they look.
@Michael Goldshmidt Newsflash: Just because the world isn’t fair doesn’t mean we can’t try to push for positive change. And some people *do* glorify thinness. If you think they don’t, you’re only focusing on *some* people.
Maybe those who glorify thinness are the “wrong people”, but they are people in our society nonetheless. Their influence can be seen in the 30 million+ people (of all ages and genders) suffering from an eating disorder in the U.S.
You are very right, the average person is attracted to “healthy-looking people.” The problem being discussed here isn’t about health. The problem is how our society (a vague term, I know) emphasizes that in order to look/be “healthy,” you have to be thin. *You* may not have been affected by this. *You* may not think that being super skinny is healthy or attractive, but there are so many ways that people (teens and teenage girls especially) are told, explicitly and implicitly, that the only way they will be accepted, lovable, and “healthy-looking” is to be SKINNY.
I’m sure you agree that it is unhealthy when you are able to see someone’s ribcages, right? Or maybe when someone’s thigh gap is wayy too big?
Yet people (especially teens/teen girls) aren’t told as much how unhealthy these things are. Instead they’re told again and again how unhealthy the opposite is, how they need to strive to be the other type of unhealthy.
I appreciate that you acknowledged that it is easier for some to get to the point of being healthy than others. This is true. I myself am lucky to have a fast metabolism, “good” genes, and in all honesty a small stomach. (Probably from being so picky as a kid.)
But it’s simple psychology-if you are led to believe that your body type is ugly, unattractive, and unhealthy, you are going to struggle mentally with accepting yourself and trying to improve yourself in a healthy way. It’s easier for some than for others to push past the social norms.
These people aren’t whining. They are calling out a system that preys upon the weak and tells them they’re not good enough. They are criticizing the notion that you should put your body size determines your worth. They are demanding that people stop judging others for being themselves. They are trying to tell people that you don’t have to use unhealthy methods to be perceived as attractive.
You know what really won’t do anyone any good?
Accepting defeat. Not calling out the misrepresentation, the under-representation, the false information, and the obsessive, predatory, and hypocritical tendencies of our society.
Telling people “Well, it sucks, sorry. The world isn’t fair, that’s just how it is, deal with it.”
This is a complicated issue. Don’t oversimplify it with your pessimistic, narrowly focused, condescending comments.
Michael Goldshmidt nobody gives a shit what you’re attracted to, weirdo. you’re probably one of the ppl who would praise this poet for losing weight even tho she was on the edge of death just cause she’s skinny. go on somewhere
"i used to love the feeling of drinking water on an empty stomach"
me: **drinking water on an empty stomach**
AYLIN KOHAN i didn’t see your reply, i still drink water on an empty stomach for breakfast quite often but i eat regular meals too.
How’re you now?
@@peoplearemyreligion how are you?
Me too. It feels good though
I tried it it only made me hungrier
I find myself coming back to this at least once a week. This slam poem is the most powerful poem concerning eating disorders. I always have goosebumps.
Laura ur too thin baby girl xx
This is the most relatable poem I've ever heard
Lani Stephens me too:(
"When I was little, someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said.. small." 😭
I feel this so so much. I've been dealing with anorexia and bulimia since I was 15, and at 19 and even after fainting at school, in a concert, and at work, I've never gone to the hospital. "If you are thin to begin with when you get an eating disorder, you go to the hospital. If you are not thin to begin with, you are a success story" is so damn true. At one point I was 150 lbs under what I started at, cold in the warmest electric blankets I could find and not taking down a single calorie for days, I didn't go to the hospital. I went to therapy once every two weeks and was told to figure it out on my own. It's not fun to be fat and anorexic. It's a nightmare.
by definition it is literally impossible to have anorexia and bulimia at the same time
+Gabby Stokes you can have a anorexia binge-purge sub type
Took the words right out of my mouth!
anorexia binge purge type is literally a subtype of anorexia - it is not having both anorexia AND bulimia. binging and purging is not a solely bulimic behaviour, just as restriction isn't a solely anorexic behaviour - they are all eating disordered behaviours not specific to one diagnosis. It is diagnostically impossible to suffer from anorexia and bulimia.
+Gabby Stokes Its actually called (or was called, i think they might have stopped using the term, but im not sure of the updated term) EDNOS, or Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified ... Basically, its what they used to diagnose patients who had behaviours of both Anorexia and Bulimia, and/or other irregular, damaging eating habits... Ie, someone who doesnt eat for long periods of time and then binges for an entire week, and then purges straight after; or someone who only eats on weekends, or certain food groups (meats, vegetables, etc) on certain days/weeks/times ...
Poems like this make me fall more in love with slam poetry.
I wonder if her family listened to this and felt bad or understood what she was going through growing up or wonder why they didn’t try to do anything to help...idk I’m just curious...
I wonder that too. Personally, I wrote a similar poem speaking about my body issues and eating disorder, performed it in front of my mom and nothing happened, she related it more to herself and her own issues which is understandable
That’s what I was wondering.
I’m sorry xx
I hadn't heard this one in a while and suddenly I've figured out why I used to hate it: it's true. I developed an eating disorder and got complimented on my newfound thighgap and the smaller clothing sizes. I didn't realize how unhealthy that was until just a little while back. I'm glad I did.
No one here has said it yet, but they should: Good job. I'm proud of you.
Every time I feel myself slipping i listen to this again and I remember why i dont want to go back
+rose stay strong boo:)
when i was younger (around 8) is when people started poking at my fat, I wasn’t the skinniest. I used to starve myself and at one point i lost 40 pounds in 2 months. My mother was so proud of me, she was proud until she found out the way I lost weight. I lied. I would tell her I was “working out” or “eating healthy” she was truly happy at first. I didn’t starve myself again, until 4 years later. I am now twelve and bullied. People call me chubby, they call me fat, they poke at my cheeks, they grab my sides. I starved myself again to try to make friends, only lost them because they were tired of dealing with me. I am still 12 but more responsible? I don’t starve myself, I actually eat healthy. Im happy for who I am right now. I am satisfied with me. How about you guys love yourself too?
ily
Hey. You’re 14 now. Stay safe in the pandemic, and don’t fall down there again :)
i hope you are well.
hey, you’re 16-17 now. i hope youre doing ok
Dude are you me same thing happened to me back when I was around 7 and as soon as I gained the weight back all those new friends suddenly just disappeared
'If you develop an eating disorder when you are already thin to begin with, you go to the hospital; if you develop an eating disorder when you are not thin to begin with, you are . . a success story'
I've heard the line "too fat to have an eating disorder" a million damn times...
I feel like that relates..
she looks like a throwback from 1995, in a good way
“Not having my period in months”
I felt that :(
I lost it
Recovered
i’m so proud of you.it’s been a year but i’m wishing the best for you. i’m trying to recover
I didn’t knew not having my period was a symptom of EDs, to clarify, I have not been diagnosed,but I still puke every food I eat because I can actually see it becoming numbers on the scale, I haven’t had my period in like 3 months, didn’t notice anything was wrong until I saw this video.
'If you are not recovering, you are dying' is something that should be shouted from the goddamn rooftops
FrankieA I agree!!!
"how could i not fall in love with my illness" Hits me hard everytime
“i only feel pretty when i’m hungry” i say this whole heartedly i have never heard something that i understand that much before in my life
How’re you now?
"As a child fat was the first word people used to describe me which didn't offend me until I found out it was supposed to"
I can relate to it, this is so beautiful.
Will there ever be a year when watching this doesn't make me cry?
try again this year
This poem broke me.
(I’ve never been diagnosed with an eating disorder so I hope I don’t offend anyone by relating to this poem). I was friends with everyone at school and college, even with the ‘poplar ones’ but I was never one of them because I was fat. I’ve lost weight recently, not lost it the healthy way but people don’t care. I get compliments of everyone now, especially those popular ones because i ‘look so much better’. They ask me to go out, they invite me to places because I lost weight. THIS is what teenagers are dealing with, THIS is a reason why eating disorders are so common in teenagers and also a reason why they go unnoticed, because it doesn’t matter you starved yourself or made yourself sick because technically your healthier now you’ve lost the weight.
Before now I NEVER had any education or knowledge on eating disorders but I think I understand now. More people need to be educated.
That’s what happened to my friend. She’s now the most coveted girl because she used to be chubby and is skinny. I hate that I am slipping into this kind of mindset too, but I just don’t want to be disregarded or embarrassed and humiliated for being bigger anymore. I want what they have.
I hope you're doing well now, that you recovered from your mindset.
I have not been diagnosed, no one (besides my ex gf and current boyfriend) know about me dealing with stuff, and doing unhealthy stuff. I never wanted it to go super duper far, cuz I didn't want anyone to spend money on me, and I like food somewhere. So... It's really weird, and hard to like food but hate the possible effect it can have on you...
You didn't offend me at least, so in case you wondered XD
Again, I hope you're doing well now
I am sure you are beautiful btw ♥
I wonder how are you now
I was a dancer and a competitive equestrian (I did hunters and equitation which are notorious for encouraging anorexia and bulimia) as a child. I’ve always been kind of short with a broad stocky build and for that reason I got bullied a lot by my peers in dance and in the riding community. I think I got my last growth spurt when I was about 12. Most of my friends and even their parents would just call me big boned or say it was puppy fat and if I went on a diet I’d lose the weight. I first started to develop an eating disorder when I was nine years old and trying to squeeze into a pair of size zero shorts I got from my neighbor. I remember trying desperately to pull them up over my hips and sobbing uncontrollably because they just wouldn’t budge. I felt disgusting for being nine years old and unable to fit into a size zero. I didn’t know anything back then about weighing food, counting calories, or about pro-anorexia forums so I just ate only fruit for a while. Once I hit middle school and realized I still wasn’t happy with my body, I discovered pro-ana tumblr and from there the battle only worsened. I spent all my free time looking at thinspo and low calorie food suggestions and fad diets and workout routines. I spent my nights after riding and homework, sweaty and exhausted, doing sit-ups on the bathroom floor with the shower running so my family wouldn’t know I was up to something. I counted calories religiously, didn’t touch the school food because it didn’t have nutrition labels, and only got water or Diet Coke if I had to eat out with family. By the time I was 13 I hadn’t gained a single pound in three years. I was sick almost all the time and mostly lived on Gatorade and stale crackers. I got better for most of high school and started to eat normally and feel pretty happy with myself until my senior year. I went through a bout of depression after nearly failing my junior year and the depression led to the worst relapse I’ve ever had. I binged one night to the point where I made myself so sick that I was vomiting for two weeks straight and then stopped eating little by little until I was living on cigarettes and air. I shook all the time, I slept constantly, my body constantly was in pain, I missed school at least two or three times a month because I was too sick to go, my hair began to fall out, I stopped getting my period, and I was too weak to dance or ride. I was miserable all the time and spent most of my free time body checking on tumblr. I was emaciated at this point and it’s an absolute wonder that neither my doctors, teachers, or parents hospitalized me. I recovered during college and ended up gaining a bunch of weight after I dropped out and quit taking my Adderall and my mom still likes to remind me how good I looked my senior year. All my old school friends tell me I need to be that weight again too. And as a result it’s been relapse after relapse ever since. This is my second relapse in eight months. I would like to get out of this fight someday. I don’t want to die. I want to be healthy and happy and more importantly I want to stop hating this body. I’m sorry if I triggered anyone, I tried to make sure I left numbers and weights out of this comment so that I didn’t cause any upset. Thank you for listening.
@@lunarequine7734 Hi, I read your comment and if you need anyone to talk to please tell me. I can understand that it's too hard and no one didn't even realise? Thank you for sharing your story
When I hear things like this I remember those feelings. Cold water in an empty stomach, the dizziness and faint feeling while exercising, every millimeter or gram lost, the compliments at school, the constant sounds on my stomach, the clothes that got too big, when I burned every calorie I consumed and more, when people believed my lies... I fell in love with all those feelings so fast, I fell in love with feeling empty, I loved it so much I depended on it...
Then I realized the damage it was doing. It was my final year at high school and I was losing concentration that I needed to regain in order to get the grades I wanted. My diet was that of a healthy person. But my body was used to being starved and so I gained a bunch of weight. Not enough to be obese like how I was , but enough for society to see me as "fat" . I developed a no-care attitude because I knew what was at stake. Now I'm done with school and I'm terrified. Part of me wants to go back to how I was before, but I'm so much healthier now. I can't stand being fat but part of me wants to just be happy and carry on eating 3 meals a day. But everyone around me seems disappointed and the things they said to me when I did lose the weight - and how they really saw me when I was obese - those disgusting thoughts of theirs circle in my brain and I'm just tired right now. This is the worst part.
+PierceTheBellybutton this is so real, same happens to me...
This should be shown in schools. People don't realize how often you get congratulated when you have an eating disorder. It's fucking mind bending to have your treatment center telling you you're dying when everyone else says you look so good, they're jealous you can fit into that size, they want dieting tips, they talk about it like that's all that matter about you, people who never noticed you compliment you. It feels like being congratulated on being thin when you're going through chemo. You can feel that you're dying. You feel depressed, angry, anxious, and lonely as fuck all at once.
You know what's awful? Being told it's "such a shame" when you go to treatment because you're "wasting" that skinny body. If you want it so bad fucking take it, along with the hair loss, dizziness, fainting, bleeding throat, stomach pains, shaking, freezing cold, clouded thoughts, aching muscles, constantly getting sick, heart palpitations, liver failure, and more.
"...anorexia was the most interesting thing about me"
"looking at an apple and seeing an apple not 60 or an hour of sit ups."
"afraid of feeling full"
i cryyy
How are you now?
Yeah... I'm crying. These poetry slams just hit me hard in the relatable feels
love this. i felt these words way too much, i hate eating, i feel sick everytime i eat, and i feel like a failure when i eat
i like feeling hungry and i think something's wrong with me.
+Kati I highly reccommended reading Intuitive Eating. I was exactly where you were and an still working out of it. You can do it, and you are beautiful. :)
+Ichabod Frances oh my god, you're so kind!!! thank you so much, i'll look into it. don't give up, my friend, you deserve the best:) thanku
Hey Kati, how are you doing now? Is it getting better? I wish you everything good in the world and in yourself, please stay strong xx
I'm here for you, stay strong
I’ve been rewatching this for years. Teared up again today.
I seriously can't get over this.
"...if you develop an eating disorder when you are not thin to begin with, you are a success story"
feeling proud of being cold in a warm room
only feeling pretty when I'm hungry
the freaking apple bit
"that shit is hard"
yeah, it definitely is.
I seriously appreciate this so much. As someone who started down the rocky road of EDs while overweight and never actually got "skinny enough" for the coveted AN diagnosis, I feel this so much. I'm in full remission at this point, but I still sometimes doubt whether I actually had an issue or if I made it all up. This helped me remember just how messed up it was.
Thank you.
“I say I am sick, they so ‘No! You’re an inspiration!’ How could I not fall in love with my illness?” that hit hard
I've watched this over and over and over again crying cause i cant get over it and this sentence "if you're not recovering you're dieing" its too much for me ..
I have to say, I've seen a few of these videos over the last few months and everyone is amazing, including this one! I never thought I'd be a fan of Slam Poetry but I am now. I wish you could buy MP3's on itunes of there performances. I'd love to find a way to support this art!
+Pete Deatherage Thanks so much for your kind words, Pete! We do have a couple of albums available on bandcamp, and many books available in our store (which are a great way of supporting artists): buttonpoetry.com/shop/. You can also get Blythe's book from Where Are You Press!
Man, I follow Button Poetry impatiently!! I'm always waiting for them to post. I love these artists and hope to one day perform with Button Poetry!! I love the poem Interchangeable Parts
+Button Poetry do you deliver your books to Brazil?
+Alan Vieira We do indeed! Just choose your country for international shipping at checkout.
+Pete Deatherage You could always save the video to your computer and then copy it to your player or phone but I feel like that might be piracy :/
“why would I ever want to stop being hungry when anorexia was the most interesting thing about me? ... so how lucky it is now to be boring.”
This made me break down in tears. I remember growing up I was a lot chubbier than all the other kids, all my sisters, but that was a simpler time. Oh how I miss those time, before children learned that it wasnt ok to be "fat", before they learned that pale faces and skinny waists were beautiful.. What I would give to go back to that time. Instead I live my days wishing I could be beautiful. Every time I look in the mirror it gets worse and worse. I'm down to 1 meal a day now... If that. I eat that one meal and even though I'm starving the thought of food entering my body, the thought of my one chance of beauty slipping away, I cant bare it. The thoughts are to horrible I can never keep the food down for to long. But at least ill be beautiful, even if it means being hungry.
you're already beautiful, you don't need to be hungry for that. take care of yourself, and if you want to lose weith, ask for help, don't do it on a dangerous way🥺
I see you wrote this 4 years ago. Just hoping you’re out there in the universe and know now that you’re beautiful? I hope you’re eating at least 3 meals now and are happy 💚
What I think people who haven't had to deal with the problems of losing weight need to understand about losing weight... is that if it happens extremely quickly, it's probably not been done in a healthy way. Healthy weight loss takes time.
Don't compliment weight loss that's both extreme and quick.
I watch this everyday... I can't get over it. It's amazing, and moving and honest.
Yo yo yo biatch
Your Mom yo yo yo bromosome how do you like my slam recommendations
"Replacing meals with other practically hobbies like making flower crowns or fainting"
"Fat was the first word people used to describe me which didn't offend me, until I learned it was supposed to"
"Not obsessed of being empty but afraid of being full"
"Someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said.... small"
"I used to be proud when I was cold in a warm room" damn.
"because i feel pretty when i am hungry"
Never thought i Wil EVER feel like this. But lately i've been feeling this thing. I feel so wrong when i eat and feel like a monster. This makes me reflecting about lots of things..
You should talk to someone about that, it's basic human nature to eat, it's survival. Nothing or nobody should ever make you feel guilty for eating. Hope you feel better
@AYLIN KOHAN i have bulimia now. But i am in therapy. Thanks for asking 😊
"Which didn't offend me, until I found out it was supposed to" hit me deep😢
I love this poem because that thought has crossed my mind more than once. I'm overweight, and society has cherished anorexia stories as victory marches that the idea of slipping into an eating disorder has become an option. Thankfully, I'm working on the things that can improve my weight: exercise, sleep, and actually eating 3 meals a day, but the fact that society has pushed many people in my same situation to things as depreciating as this and then hold them as inspirational stories only exacerbates the problem. Thank you for this poem, Baird, you speak the absolute truth. :)
+Schnapp Jamata I only see weight loss stories from people who were overweight to an average/healthy size praised. Mind I have never had an eating disorder or a problem with my weight so I guess I see things differently.
Sammy Ariel I used to hear stories like that as well, but now more and more I hear about how teens have turned to eating disorders as the only way for them to lose weight and stay that way. It's sad and as someone who's considered that path before, it's easy to see purging yourself as the only way out.
You don't choose to have an eating disorder, it is a mental health condition. That is like saying someone chooses to be schizophrenic. If someone could actually choose to have an ED, then they already have a mental problem to start with.
I know that a lot of people restrict too much in a bid to lose weight quickly, then an eating disorder develops.
+Sammy Ariel and yes, I do already suffer from depression and live in a very stressful environment. And it is an environment that exacerbates the idea that skinny is the only way to be. I also agree that in the idea of eating disorder as a disorder, it isn't something that is a choice. But also like you said, when faced with other mental conditions and situations, it is definitely symptoms that can be mimicked into shadowing the disease. I'm sorry I didn't clarify earlier when I mentioned that I had considered it as a choice.
Ahh glad you agree, yeah unhealthy eating habits can be symptoms of depression. Hearing a voice telling you not to eat, believing things contain more calories than they have, or seeing yourself as fatter than you are is more like anorexia nervosa. There are lots of less well known EDNOS though, when you have a very unhealthy relationship with food but not enough symptoms of anorexia nervosa or bulimia.
Whatever health problems you have I hope you can overcome them, good luck.
This hit me in a way I cannot even describe. Breathtaking.
Jo Bo I feel just the same
"If you develop an eating disorder when you are not thin to begin with, you are a success story" got me so hard 😭
less than a minute in and im shaking in tears. this hits so hard, especially when ive been through it all :(:
After all these years, this poem has been the strongest anchor in my recovery. I don't think Blythe will ever see this but if you do, THANK YOU. This makes it Real, I'm not crazy.
watched this 8 years ago as an obese 11 year old. i sit here as a 19 year old skinny girl, absolutely mortified by how deeply ive related to this for so, so, long.
I can't stop crying... this girl understands me so much😭 This was too much for me
how can i get my calculator to stop too? How can i go through an entire year without punishing myself for everything i eat? Because it's been three years already and I dont seem to be figuring it out
I don't know but it's disgusting to see people insult body immage when people are "fat" or "skinny." I know people who get bothered about both and it's weird to me how people think it's their business. I'm sorry you can't see how beautiful you look though - and I'm sure people tell you stuff like that all the time. but really, your hair looks amazing and I'm sure there are so many people close to you that you worry. I hope you realize that you don't need to loose weight to make yourself "look better"
I'm sorry If I bothered you butting into your business
-
with time, patience, love, and support. im proud of you and you can survive. i know this is an old comment and i hope you're doing better.
I hope the calculator turned off. I hope you found the help, support and habits you need to get better. ❤ Don't stop trying.
That feeling, how many people are watching this in same time and crying... Broo IT hurts
I’m here for you
This video should be viral
i'm not okay after watching this. absolutely beautiful.
It's been 2 years since I fell into my eating disorder, this was my go to poem to listen to in an effort to trigger myself. I am recovering now, and couldn't be happier
We live in a world where people, especially teenagers, can be easily influenced - mainly by themselves. And I love this poem because it fits so perfectly.
+maria fernanda This is so true. The funny thing was I got the complete opposite growing up, especially in middle school. I live in South Carolina and went to the "country" type kind of schools. I was a late bloomer and a lot girls were developing quickly. I stuck out like a sore thumb and over the years, I had to learn to not let those words break me. I began to realize that those words made me beautiful. You should check out my TH-cam channel. I do poetry, but I also have a web series asking for people to share their opinions on certain things. I would love to know your thoughts. Check it out when you get the time, please!
"Why would I ever want to stop being hungry when anorexia was the most interesting thing about me?" This hit far too close to home. This is probably the only spoken word on eating disorders I actually like.
You can tell she’s putting her true emotion into this, good on her and it’s great to see her speak out about this.
I remember watching this two years ago wishing that I had an eating disorder so that I could get skinnier because I'm just a 15-year-old girl who weighs 220 pounds now I am watching this again and but my problem isn't just my weight, now it's my mental health and weight. two years ago I could've been skinnier while being happy but now I, even though i've lost weight, am still fat and I couldn't feel more shitty
Take care Sun, please
“Not obsessed with being empty but afraid of being full” That line got me 😯
I’ve got chills al over my body when she said “I’ve youre not recovering you are dying”
the fact that i've watched this over a hundred times-
I’m here for you