Not trying to be a d!ck, but he uploads an average of every 5 months. There can be times where he takes 7+ months to give us an extra long/crazy deep video.
I doubt anyone will see this, but about 5 months ago my ex boyfriend died in a car accident, and this video really connected with me because yeah I'm a mess because of it but I'm not the first person to feel like this. I used to watch your videos with him all day when he would visit. Thank you for the amazing content exurb1a ❤
My worst day was when i lost my daughter and carried her lifeless corpse to hospital. She was the product of 10 years of ivf, investigations and natural failure. The strain all that takes is immense and It's taken me years to feel human again. No chance of kids now. Its too late for us. The ptsd has worn away but the pain always just under the surface. Absolutely considered ending it all. Absolutely drank too much and got into trouble. The cavern is a horrible place but as long as you allow yourself to visit when it suits, things dont seem as bad forever. Anyway. Touching video. Here's to you Georgie. May we meet again one day so we can give you another hug.
The worst period of my life was probably when I was completely strung out on drugs, going into the hospital every single year and always thinking of OD'ing again. I can't think of any significant number of friends I had at the time other than those who just wanted to do more drugs with me (and only briefly at that). These days, I'm quite happy, and have a partner who genuinely understands and loves me, and am finally satisfied with my body and existence as a woman instead of a man. This is a lovely video.
I am thankful for every video and he should take the time he needs for them. I... I just love him on a mentally way and I wish there were more people's you could talk on a frequentzy like that.
I'm currently going through the worst year of my life. Single after three years, broke, unemployed, in debt, depression, anxiety, suicide attempts... This video is something I needed to hear. As I sit here on my 28th birthday all I can say is... Thank you.
Happy birthday friend. One must go through the hard parts of life to truely appreciate the good parts when they come around. You can make it through this, give yourself the future you deserve
12:21 “but something happens, or nothing happens-“ this is my favorite line in this video… because long story short I’ve pretty much been isolated my entire life and only recently the crushing weight of loneliness has begun to devour my entire existence
I understand what you mean. After enough time alone, you convince yourself it's easier than engaging with people. Eventually something feels like it's missing, but by then it's harder than ever to break the isolation. I'm not gonna pretend I have a solution for you, but I would like to share some hope.
I'm in a really bad point in my life and this video really come up at 5 a.m. in the morning where I don't sleep because everything is so fucked up in my life and so many things are going wrong and I feel like I have no time left to sort everything out. I'm a pretty stoic person due to my upbringing but this video with the stupid jokes really hit hard and broke me. Thank you exurb1a, genuinely. I hope the way out of the gloomy cave of despair is near and it's good to know that we all struggle all the same.
Stay strong dude... Or don't, since I'm told it's ok to break sometimes... But there's always a different tomorrow, and people will care. Good luck to you, spartan
Take a deep breath. Collect your wits, and try to get ahold of the situation. Know that there's no "quick fix". Change takes time. But little by little, you can regain your life. And if you think there's nothing to regain, remember that just as deep down you're now, just as high up can you get. And a true eventful life needs ups and downs. Like a heartbeat 💓 Don't let that heart flatline... Okay? 👍 Now, have a great day tomorrow. You never finish if you don't start 😊
Our names are in the cave with you, you aren't alone. It's nice to remind yourself sometimes, one consistent thing in this universe is that things will change. Nothing can stay the same forever
Man I needed this today, I fucked up am living in the cave alone right now. It helped me to see the light… just started a new job , probably have just lost the girl and my friend that I love the most and I’m living in a new country with no one to fall back on. It’s all so overwhelming and feels hopeless, but I’m just in the cave right now… thanks for opening my eyes
@@brenopaz9129 That doesn't mean it wasn't loneliness to begin with - that just means you're no longer lonely because you're sharing your life with someone in a meaningful way
Let us all, trauma bond. I'm a 23 Romanian bloke, my dad died in 2021, because COVID, I was in college doing archaeology from home and dropped out because I was more depressed than an onion cutting itself. I didn't work for 2 years, then started working from home for 1 year, got laid off, after two months I went to Germany and worked there for a month, conditions were utter garbage and life threatening (BinderGmBH - avoid that company like the plague) whilst sleeping on an inflatable mattress next to 2 trash bins in my cousin's kitchen. Got home, with some money but no job to speak of. Now, I am less depressed than an onion cutting itself. How have your lives gone to shit?
@@bigzed7908 With a father that is highly addicted to gambling, leading to all kinds of shitty behaviour and circumstances. He destroyed the lives of his (ex) family members. The only thing I got going for me is that I make some money in a soul-reaping job and I finally got an apartment in summer (and moved away from my grandma's). I thought that that could've marked the beginning of a new chapter, maybe the chance to fix most other aspects of my life (the apartment is the first fixed aspect). And then I discovered water damage a couple hours ago.. It's pretty bad but I really hope that I don't have to move out. That would be quite the gift for Christmas...
@@bigzed7908 Sadly(Happly) i don't have much trauma, i did almost die of an overdose 3 weeks ago, but we got through that now just trying to finish school and go on with life
@@bigzed7908 not to be the ''bob the fixer'' but first, Im sorry for that. Second of all, you sound pretty funny, you speak good English and you have a lot of experience that could help others who are in the same position as you. why not become a streamer? and online creator? build a community of helping each other and so on and so forth.
@@bigzed7908 I'm not a funny guy like you. I'm 36 from a North African country. My wife and I have recently overcame vaginismus after we struggled with it for three years. It only happened because I had accepted my responsibility in the perpetuation of the problem. When I did that, I became her ally rather than someone whose reaction she had to fear which greatly helped her relax. I'm struggling with other stuff but I'm soldiering on.
My partner of 20 years died a month ago, my sister's services were a month before that, my brother I buried six months ago and he his wife a few months prior. My father has been gone a decade, my mom preceded him by half that length. Next month I will have lived for 22,000 days and the world population has more than doubled in my lifetime. Yet I am all alone, tired, and feeling around in an unfamiliar dark cave. This may be a new kind of hell, but I am not inexperienced with the underworld; I planned ahead this time and brought a large bottle of Gin. Thank you.
We need regular doses of insanity so that we can feel comfort in the fact that it's not just us who are insane, all of existence is insane. No one should be alone with their insanity.
Hungary mostly became an illiberal democarcy through the consolidation of power by a single party called FIDESZ, and huge amounts of corruption and embezzelment of public funds by said party. @@imnotakingimnotagodiam..ab9455
@@imnotakingimnotagodiam..ab9455 Because the hungarian president basically managed to to (somewhat) sneakily turn hungary into a dictatorship. That's why Trump likes him so much, because he already established what the big orange turd wants to have in the US too.
So the two gorgeous paintings at 3:00-3:05 are Lighthouse on the Norwegian Coast by Peder Balke (if you also put the word "nasjonalmuseet" into the google search, you get an extremely high def image), and Ship Pole in Storm by Ivan Aivazovsky Don't worry, this only took me 45 minutes :)
Hey man, I spent so much time in the cave of despair, i made it my home, swept the floor, dusted things down, hung a few nice paintings, put in a couch and a bed, a fridge full of goodies, tv, computer with internet connection, now it's my temple of solace.
There's a little cabin right at the mouth of the Cave of Despair. It's not much, but I keep the fire going in case anyone needs a warm drink and a listening ear on their way out of the Cave. I've seen countless faces emerge from the Cave. Some stop, most don't, but to everyone who passes, I offer a warm smile and a wave to welcome them back into the light. I'm no stranger to the depths, and on one of my many journeys back to the surface, an old man was sat outside telling stories out of an old tome. When he saw me emerge from the cave, he smiled and beckoned me over. The old man is long gone now, but I've remained at the cabin, tending to the fire in his stead. After all, someone has to keep the beacon lit to guide the Cave's denizens back from the abyss.
I'll just brush off the thought of "Everyone is secretly broken aren't they?", because no matter how broken they may be, some of them still choose to become insufferable piece of s*** instead of reflecting on their reality and being a bit kinder.
4:00 "English is terrible for talking about complex emotions, especially the sad ones" is not something i've thought about but makes sense given the cultures
English is very easy to fix. If there isn't a word for something, then borrow a word from another language or make up a new one! It's not that English lacks the word as such is that we don't want to write it down or express the thing 🙂🤷♂️
Currently in the cave myself. My motto these past couple of years has been "If you're going through hell, keep going" and "this shall pass". I just wish I'll find the exit sooner rather than later, but there's no point trying to rush ahead of time. This helps, though. Thanks, existential dread turtle.
I tell myself "it will be okay at the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end". There's no evidence for this to be true but we gotta keep going somehow. It'll be okay at the end.
As a person with various mental illnesses, it's hard honestly. I end up in that cave more times than you'd think and i've honestly thought of giving up several times in life, to throw the towel and you know what to do but. I'm still here, somehow, and i am still able to type this comment. It's amazing. And i'm probably in that cave again, but you know when you fall too many times in the same place, you learn to endure, carved my name there more times than i can count. A little greedy isn't it? Most of life is misery for me, everyday feels like an awful struggle that gives me constant headaches and pain, yet i still have those occasional little moments of joy. And those little moments are the reason i live, are the reason i'm still here.
Omg… same. I live around a family who mostly does not know how to make me feel emotionally validated. They tell me to just let go of my negativity. But this video makes me feel valid. Sometimes something happens, or nothing happens, and you end up in the cave. But as you said, I persevere. I wanted to commit recently, but I told myself to stay for the relief I get when I experience the simple joys, such as sleeping peacefully on my bed, with my plushies.
At times it feels as if I am the cave's custodian. Most visitors find an exit. Some don't and decide to make their own. The ones that don't find the exit bring even more visitors and things get crowded. Eventually things quiet down and I am again alone and left to clean up after everyone. I am not there because I like it. It's not that the pay is great or the heath insurance is good. I just can't seem to find a way out. Many people have told me how they got out, but it is all just twisting caves and quicksand for me. I get this analogy is bad and people will read it as whining or lack of effort, but that is just what mental illness is like for me.
My wonderful grandmother just passed away and I didn’t go home for Christmas this year because I was “too busy with work”. I didn’t see her before she left and now she’s gone. The Christmas card she sent me is sitting on my kitchen table although I haven’t had the strength to open it yet. It’s safe to say I’ll taking a trip to the cave for a little while. But this video shed a bit of light on the way out and, for that Alex, I thank you
4:22 I'm Italian, but I never heard this Idiom. What I heard is "minestra riscaldata", which translates to "reheated soup": it conveys the same message of "a situation that is now past, which you want to revive but which no longer has the value as it had in the past".
Sorry to be that jerk, but are you Italian in the sense you were born and raised and still live there, or Italian in the sense you immigrated at 3 years old to another country and have Italian ancestry?
@eskaweeks Italian Italian, born, raised and living in italy. I cringe too at Americans calling themselves Italian bacause they have some ancestor 150 years ago from Naples.
Same with the german word "waldeinsamkeit". Never heard it, it's apparently a thing but technically you could create every word in German by just putting nouns together lol
This one's a new favorite, I'm so glad you're still creating ^^ My mom recently passed away, and I really needed this. I just slept in my own bed for the first time in a month since it happened. I hope that by braving the reality of my inherited, empty home, I will come out of this with new eyes and strength.
i have a final today, specifically in about 30 minutes. I popped this on to pass the time, thinking "whats the worst exurbia could do to my psyche in a wee 15 minute video?" then the story about your neighbor shook me deep and now im chocking back from the sympathy to a stranger I cant even identify in person. im not complaining of course, in fact I can probably face my exam in a better mindset now im aware "this is literally an objectively very good day for myself" but I ask you warn me ahead of altering the course of my whole outlook on life in a quarter hour period. It's not good to age so quick...
Just remember, once you've got through this period in your life, whenever bad things happen in the future, you can think "well at least I'm not doing fucking finals". Probably.
It’s funny how sometimes I have these ideas, but don’t know how to express them in an orderly fashion. Then somebody comes along and shares the same thoughts you were having through their words.
"It'd be better not to have the tragedies in the first place but it is pretty neat how resilient we can be even as everything goes down the toilet in our own little lives and on the big global stage. And that we know, just as well as our ancestors did: Life is cruel and intolerably awful at times but if one dares to stare directly into the unavoidable abyss of pain, loss and tragedy, the reward on the other end is often new eyes." this turtle always surprises me with its quotes. 10:35
Got a whole new perspective from this video. I've been cycling in and out of feeling like there's no point continuing for years. The image you described, of your future self waiting for you to come out of despair really broke through the clouds and shone some sunlight into my darkness. Yes, I can get through this and it is worthwhile. I will be stronger on the other side and will have the energy to have a positive influence on the lives of my loved ones. Thank you so much for making this 🖤
Lost a friend this year, he went into the cave, he was not alone, I was there with him. He decided to never come out. I'm still there, scratching and clawing... despair, darkness. I'm still here though. Even when I eventually walk out, I will be sad, he will not walk out with me. I won't walk out and find him outside, nor will I walk out first and wait for him. He is lost, forever...
I'm sorry for your friend, but there's no shame in thinking for yourself and leaving the cave. Knowing that you've done all you can helps, I believe. Be gentle with yourself, and who knows- maybe you choosing yourself will lead your friend by example :'')
I don't tend to reply. But this seemed important. I know it sucks. And believe my name is in that cave as well. I imagine your friend might have felt like he was alone there. He was wrong, as you know. Just as you might not be alone in there as well. The comment section of this video is just the tip of the ice berg of random strangers who understand how you feel. Just as there are plenty of others in real life. Nothing last forever, the cave in time too will change. Hang in there. With all kindness, yours truly. A sympathetic stranger.
@@AhYes-it3mr I'm truly sorry for your loss. I've lost a friend the same way. Life has no meaning. He didn't trust anyone, besides me, his mom and his brothers...
the cave is so fucked. i cant find my way out of it sometimes as well. it's disorientating and dark and sometimes it just feels like home. fuck that place. i'm so sorry your friend never found the way out but i'm so glad you will.
Wow! I think this is the most beautiful video I have ever watched/ listened to. I am currently in the cave of despair and this video just turned up on my feed today. I was thinking recently about how terrifying and dreadful life can be at times and how we don't often talk about this. I love how this video basically talked about everything I've been thinking about recently. Plus there was beautiful artwork, beautiful music, foreign language and I love the the quotes from those famous artists when they too were in the cave of despair. The modern day obsession with having to be positive at all times definitely makes life harder when you are depressed, grieving etc We just really need to be allowed to feel our feelings, then we naturally start to feel a bit better anyway.
I discovered this channel by accident one night as I was scrolling TH-cam in 2018. By god has this changed my life. Every time I watch your videos I feel a sense of common dread and hopefulness. It always makes me feel like I am going to be okay. Thank you for what you do, thank you for the time you invest into the world. Here’s to years of craziness ahead of us and behind us. Thank you for creating, the world is a better place because of you.
I’ve saved all of his video essays, so that I can put him on autoplay and many nights I listen to his words as I drift asleep. I move between the videos of exurb1a and Horses for my subliminal listening.
Thank you for this. In the cave for the past two years, currently on my way out, one step at the time, glimpses of the light outside shining through. Bookmarking this to be my flashlight for future cave visits, because you sure as hell can't see a damn thing down there, not even your own memories of walking out.
@@bigbluedinothethird9781 yeah it goes “I’m trying to get high, don’t call me again and then ends with a saying that, in this context, is used as something like “you dipsh*t” (literal translation word for word sounds very weird in english but goes “to fuck you”)
@@bigbluedinothethird9781translation goes “What do you want, man!? I’m trying to get h1gh! Don’t call me again, for f***s sake! Idiot…” Literal translation word for word would go something like “What do you want,eh? I’m trying to get h1gh! Don’t call me again, eh, to f*** you! Idiot…” We sometimes use “to f*ck you” as an insult, depending upon context is used as “you dips**t” or “for f***s sake”
i've been feeling terribly unmoored in my life and stumbled upon this video. i clicked with zero expectations, but i left feeling very healed. thank you so much! it was such a beautifully done video, i know i'll be revisitting it many times (whenever i enter my cave of despair)
Dude. Yesterday I told my counselor that if I was unalived, “oh well”. I have been firmly in the cave of despair and today, with the help of whisky… 🤷♀️ I decided to crawl out, again. Then I randomly saw this video tonight. Damn. Thanks.
Soak in the joy when it happens, steal happiness back from tragedy. Get good at bunkering down and distracting yourself during the bad times. Always remember things can take a turn for the better. This too shall pass.
In the midst of some of the worst years of my life, I've found something that brings me joy and passion. For the past few months Ive been learning to skydive and have been working as a parachute packer for a local DZ. I hated my life for most of my life, but this has given me community, confidence, bravery, and an absolute burning desire to live life and enjoy it as much as i can no matter the struggles. You never know what's coming next. That alone is a great reason to live. Edit: Well, that (6:52) was a bit of a coincidence.
But you can't really skydive every so often. It costs a bunch. And with the world that doesn't think nor care, how do you earn a living and then some to cover skydiving? Ain't that... really hard to plan out?
@@littlehorn0063He has regained his will to live, and all you see is problems? Clearly it's working for him 🎉 I actually lost a friend, who didn't regain his will to live... And then just didn't......... 😢
@@littlehorn0063OP was sharing their specific situation and passion, which they apparently have the budget and time for. But for their general point it doesn't have to be skydiving. Sewing is a cheap but fun hobby, drawing as well, a lot of physical activities are free. Eventually while living you stumble into something you really enjoy, for op it happened to be skydiving.
@littlehorn0063 Skydiving only costs about $25 a jump once you have a license. You can absolutely do it alot. I did many jumps almost every weekend with a medium paying job.
There is a dish "Sauerkraut with pork and barley" that gets better the more you reheat it, especially if you burn it a little while reheating. French toast is also a dish that uses stale bread and makes it different but still better than it originally was. There is truth to reheated things not being the same, but sometimes they are better for it. Same for fixing pots through "Kintsugi"
I got my current laptop at 1/3 of it's price because it fucking fell off a shelf and got damaged (only estetical damage tho) and it was marked for destruction. Ofc I took a risk cuz there might actually be some fracture to the MB or something (that 1/3 price tag was still a lot of money for me) but it's /been 3 years and it's still fine. You can tell where it hit the floor cuz the screen hinge is split, it has a bend and the speaker grill exploded but in a way is a reminder that it was on its way to be shredded. People told me to fix the markings but I never bothered. I kinda thought of it as some kind of "kintsugi". I didn't fix it but I appreciate the damage. I know it's just a silly laptop that has no thoughts but I'm happy to have "saved it".
I love your content and your videos! Please don't stop making them anytime soon. Every time I watch your videos, I feel like my intrusive thoughts are being explored fully, almost in berserk mode. I’m really busy nowadays with day-to-day tasks, and your videos help me feel grounded and humble. They remind me to enjoy life as it comes, and I’m sure many people feel the same way. Love you! 💖
"oh yeah" they say "there's the library and there's the cinema, and the bakery and that's the cave of hopeless despair you'll end up in sometimes where all of your dreams are savagely crushed for no obvious reason." And you will say "sorry, what?" and they say "oh and over there is the juice bar."
I fuckin love juice, Simply Peach Juice is my elixir of life 😋🍑♥️ But I also like Brisk Fruit Punch, apple juice and orange juice too. One time, a hurricane was coming, and so I went to get some supplies and spent $60 on juice and drinks 🫢 and I don’t even drink alcohol anymore. 😅
sometimes when I'm sitting here feeling miserable this channel posts something and I think to myself "great I would love to hear how depressing life is for everyone right now..." but despite that I still watch it for some reason and sometimes it does make me feel worst and all I can see is how bad it all is but... other times, like today, it doesn't go that way and maybe I cry or maybe I smile and I can't quite say it gave me happiness but maybe... it just gave me the feeling I was allowed to stop thinking about everything that hurts and let go for just a moment
I don't have sufficient words to tell you how seen your videos make me feel. I have some psychology friends who mean we'll, but wield a sort of deliberate ignoring of bad things and make me feel bad for saying, "Hey everyone can see this shit, right?" They mean to ease my pain and I love them and I get it. I have also had very good therapy, but it was from a therapist who didn't insist I sort of gaslight myself. All of this is to say, your videos are priceless and I cannot thank you enough.
This helped me so much, for the past days this has been going on for a year my mood constantly swings, I'm miserable now, I feel sad but seconds later I laugh at anything I see even the most basic jokes. Up until now I'm still miserable af, but after this video I realized that, feeling these insecurities, these mishaps, these flaws, everyone does too, everyone is a fvking mess. It cheered me up, it made me feel that people are too busy with themselves to even bother me or to even know how I feel or find their to way attack me, its all upon my reactions on how I deal with these, and sometime in the future, I'll look at this comment, with a subtle smile, and a single tear.
This video essay is quite beautiful. Thank you for taking the time to make it. I’ve been to that cave, spent almost most of childhood and then a decade of my 30’s there. Now life is beautiful and “doing without trying” is my way. Accepting the realities of life as absurd comedy rather than tragedy.
Thank you. I was in a full blown PTSD shutdown, and my boyfriend put you on, he's got no idea who you are, just that you were at the top of the page. It worked. Helped calm down the emotions long enough for them to settle. I've been listening to you for years, and still am surprised by how you inject so much optimism. You really have made an insane difference to me over the years.
needed to hear this today. my dad died a few months ago & today is his birthday. its comforting to know that i’m not the only one going through this- although it often feels like it sometimes. may we always find our way out of the cave & not let it ultimately consume us
Don't forget to leave your name on the wall, and take some time to find the names others have left during their temporary stay there. It's good to be remembered
You can do it buddy. Hope we'll see you out here on the cliff again soon but take your time if you want. It's okay to have a a bit of a fucking wobble every now and then.
My two favorite quotes regarding this topic: "everything will turn out ok in the end, and if it isn't ok yet, it's not the end" and "if you can think of a beautiful end, live beautifully until the end" especially this one helped me though very dark times in my life.
Thanks man, needed that. Unemployed currently. Nobody sends employment offers in December. Trying to find meaning in all of the free time I have. This was a good kick in the pants telling me everything will be okay.
I was there two years back. Went through the holidays broke and borrowing money for rent. Got something like 20 job offers January 2nd. So long as you can tough it out, I promise you got this.
I just wanted to take a moment and thank you for the content on this channel. My life is a complete mess. I'm 40 years old with no direction in my life whatsoever. No career. No close family, very few friends... On my good days I'll preach that the only hope for humanity is to have hope in humanity. On my not so good days I'll curl up in a little ball on the couch and pray that maybe this time I'll never wake up. Life really can suck sometimes. But the content of your videos never fails to cheer me up. Keep it up man, such wit and wisdom are in very short supply these days. I wish you the best. Oh and your cat IS f****** majestic. So umm, yea... congrats on that too.
It’s like he just knew I failed my final exams and dropped an edible. He’s truly a god amount men and this is the best present I could ask for right now! Thanks for making me feel heard that I’m not crazy and giving me hope to keep going
This video came at the absolutely perfect time for me. For far too long, so much about my life and, in a way, the situation of the world as a whole has been so utterly *still* . Some things shifting and changing, but everything ultimately stagnating. Sometimes I wonder if I'll make it through this. Sometimes I wonder if humanity will make it through this. Looking back though, at how much we as a species have been able not only to survive but come out laughing is astounding. By all means we should have been wiped _millenia_ ago by plagues and war and our own stupidity and yet here we are, watching a funny British man on TH-cam making hand puppets swear. Even if moving forward is like wandering through the forest in the dark, while it's raining, after having all of your limbs chopped off, I know that considering all the awful shit we've been through before, we _can_ make it through to the other side. Thank you, Exurb1a. Thank you.
I was sick the last month and suffered from anxiety and stress it was the worst month of my life i couldn't do anything i was just so stressed and everything was going down , but i see it now as a reminder that after bad days , good days come and if one day i started to feel good again i will be very very gratefull for the life i have , i ask god from the bottom of my heart to overcomethis and i'll be the gladest person
13:50 - Best timing ever omg. I love that you put Debussy's music on the background, i mean, that music is so beautiful, quiet, calm, etc, it's all this and more haha. Good music, perfect timing and great video.
The feeling after watching a new exurb1a video is truly something special. You help with my inner peace so much. I have had one of the roughest years of my life after losing my dad unexpectedly on my birthday late last year, and just recently finished your books 'Poems for the Lost Because I'm Lost Too' and 'Geometry for Ocelots'. I seriously cannot thank you enough for how much your writing and video's contribute to my wellbeing and motivation to keep going when the road is at its hardest. Much love, Exurb1a
Your videos always remind me of my old college friend. Naturally she shaved her head and moved to Brighton, never to be seen again. We were the only people in our friend group that had watching your videos in common; But it was fun sharing our ideas about each concept you shared whilst I had the chance to. I like to think they still watch from time to time. Hope you’re enjoying yourself Ally.
How the hell algorithm maybe but I started to love and find your videos time ago, recently went deep diving in Taoism soon to get to the hardest biggest heartbreak and now you post this. This subscribe is for life
14:15 Énouement isn’t an official French word and doesn’t appear in dictionaries like Larousse. It was created by John Koenig in The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows to describe complex emotions. While it sounds French, it’s not recognized in the language.
Funnily enough, for all the existential dread in basically all of your video’s. I cannot describe in the English language how much your videos make me glad to be alive
i love this video, depression turtle's soul is so beautiful I could listen to you talk for ages "If one dares to stare directly into the unavoidable abyss of pain, loss and tragedy, the reward at the other end is often new eyes"
First of all, good to see you posting. Posting this comment here as a bit of closure for myself. My parents immigrated to the US before I was born, but they are from Bulgaria. We grew up speaking English at home so I have no trace of a Bulgarian accent, but my mother took me to visit my grandparents at their house when I was 3 years old and I learned the language anyway. Over the years my brothers and I were fortunate to go visit them a few times and stay with them in my grandparents house. One of the best things about that house was it was right next to the train tracks and we could see the train from the rooms we stayed in, or in the kitchen for breakfast. In 2014 I made my first trip over there by myself and stayed with them as an adult. I considered going to university there, but was having a hard time finding a school with the programs I wanted that was accredited in the US, and it didn’t work out. I remember working with my grandma in the garden and watching the trains as they rolled by. In 2018 I got married, and in 2019 I went to visit with my mom, brothers, and my wife and we had a grand time. I remember sitting on their patio with my cousins, brothers, and wife just laughing having a great time, watching the trains. My grandmother died in 2020, which was really hard for me as I didn’t have the means to go back to see her right after the trip in 2019. She had actually nannied for my brothers and I in the states in our younger years and that was tough. 2022 my son was born and he is by far the best part of my life. In 2023 my wife, son, mom, and I made a trip over to visit my grandpa. The house was there as always, but it was difficult being there without my grandma. The plants in her garden had withered with no one to tend to them. I chose to focus on the delight my son found with the trains my grandpa would show him- picking him up so he could see out the window. My grandpa died a couple months ago in 2024, and things are weird with the house and whats going to happen to it. I feel like I’m missing a part of me with them gone, and I’m missing a part of my heritage. When we go to visit, Bulgaria will be there and be the same, but it’s not the same without them. Work life has been piling up a lot of stress on me over time to just create this general blahhhh I feel in life. I know you mentioned in other videos you live/lived in Bulgaria for a bit, and I recognized some of your b roll footage as being on the main train line that cuts through the country. Including a section that goes past my grandparents house with all those memories. It’s a bit weird, but your videos give me a sense of connection. I wonder if you ever saw that house or them from the train on the rails that went right past that house. I LOVE your content, I was petty deep into the exurb1a library when I first saw those shots on the train and the Cyrillic letters that spelled Bulgarian words. I was gleefully surprised to see you shared a part of the world I find so pure, beautiful, and joyful. That’s not why I watch your content though. Our ways of thinking are pretty similar, despite the fact I’ve done little philosophy reading outside of Descartes, and both your fiction and nonfiction content is astoundingly clever. I love when you drop a new video But there is still an underlying sense of homesickness, and when I watch one of these videos, it helps with that just a little bit more. Cheers mate, thanks for everything you do
Съжалявам за баба ти и дядо ти. Желая ти винаги да си ги спомняш с добро и да вдъхновиш същите хубави спомени и емоции, които ти си имал у твоите деца и внуци :)
The Top Comments be like; Wow no ads! So cool to see him post! "quote from the video that would ruin the video if you scrolled down" New Comments be like: Thank you for this im in the worst year of my life right now after losing my entire family slowly one by own to the eternal pain and suffering, a single tear rolls down my face and you have shown me another path to hope.
I was quite literally thinking this identical thought and then I found your comment. I don't get it, either. Something isn't right with this platform as of late.
@alfredforbessealy524 Weltschmerz (German: [ˈvɛltʃmɛɐ̯ts] ⓘ; literally "world-pain") is a literary concept describing the feeling experienced by an individual who believes that reality can never satisfy the expectations of the mind,[1][2] (Wikipedia)
@alfredforbessealy524I personally would describe it like this: the world is broken and fucked up and there is nothing you can really do about it, basically being a plant with too much water and not being able to move, just wanting to get out of the water, because you just can't take any more water. there is so much suffering in the world and the glass is half empty
I spent the first hour of this year rushing my cat to emergency. She passed away a day later, just yesterday. I loved her more than I've loved anyone or anything in this world. In my grief, nothing got through excpet the existential turtle's latest video, conviniently posted just recently. Thank you, exurb1a. I can't wait to be the future me who has powered through this...
I feel like I’ve been in that dark cave since 2016. Then when 2020 happened, a lot more people started showing up, horrified, and it felt like some light was shining through. “I’ve been living like this for years!” I would say. It made things seem a bit less dark; to finally have some sort of companion or community in which I could share the misery.
I was an depressed alcoholic for 10 years, started doing alot of acid and mdma and ended just doing large dozes of acid by myself in the dark and one day i just stopped drinking and smoking weed and i haven't really been sad since...
Careful @@Tubeytime, this might be kind of true for cigarettes and stuff like that, but a lot of drugs come with evil withdrawals. If you're heavily addicted to alcohol, the withdrawal can kill you. And the reason one doesn't wanna stop doing the drugs is exactly because they control you
4:06 holy shit obsecure arabic word mentioned lets goooo btw "ya'aburnee" is usually used mostly in certain regions of Syria and Lebanon and it comes from the word "Qabar" which means "To bury" soneone, and when used differently it becomes an insult like "inshallah bi'qbrak" which means "I want to bury you/end you"
This sounds so passive aggressive, but my condolences man. I drew a portrait of my great grandma when she died and hung it on the mini-fridge. Keeps the memory alive yknow?
My friend and I have been discussing suffering a lot lately. Specifically focusing on the question of "If you could stop all suffering, would you?" And we've both come to the conclusion that suffering is a necessary evil. Me because I believe without suffering everything becomes numb, there will be no spectrum of pain to compare the lack of it against. And she believes that without suffering there is no meaning to life. Why do we do anything if not to struggle for it. "But if one dares to stare directly into the unavoidable abyss of pain, loss, and tragedy, the reward at the other end is often new eyes." Once again in a single sentence you artistically describe a feeling that has taken days of discussion for us to reach fully. Thank you turtle dude. For giving voice to otherwise indescribable feelings that we all have or will feel
Well said. I often remind myself that love = grief. You can't have one without the other. Grief and suffering are the price you must pay for love and hope. Nothing at all depressing about that, in fact it is the candle that both defies and defines the darkness (to quote Anne Frank).
I really resonate with your way of thinking as this masterfully concise way of putting together this complex philosophical and spiritual chain of thought is really admirable. It really hit close to home and seeing that it did in other people too makes me feel connected in a really nice way through the internet haha
I was thinking of writing some clever and profound comment and then suddenly it hit me. Fook it i said and I’m writing my stream of consciousness because who’s going to judge me? We see ourselves through the eyes of other people a lot but the funny thing is we don’t know how their eyes see. Speaking of eyes, the line “you will come out of the cave with the new eyes” or something like that (my memory sucks) is spot on. We come out of tragedies and heartbreaks with a totally new perspective mostly. In finding the way out the cave we find new versions of ourselves who are stranger to us. That said I’m currently finding my way out with the help of philosophies that our ancestors have created for us, videos like this and friends and family. These are my torches. Thanks for your contribution in giving us universes in little meat form existential punches and lifting our spirits o wise turtle. 🐢
Where was the giraffe's neck?
It's okay, he's a total mess, just like all of us.
You are doing good work. You are saving lives with it. Thank you.
It’s turtles all the way down
He wound it in
It shrinks in cold
For anyone wondering, Tiger said, in Bulgarian: What do you want? I am trying to get high, do not call me again
Weed is truly eternal. Amen.
Oh. That was a real language 😳 it actually sounded awesome. I couldn't figure out if it was something exhub1a made up. Neat
Thank you, I was looking for this.
thank you bro
that was some mispronounced bulgarian
2 videos in one year? Turtle is spoiling us
Not trying to be a d!ck, but he uploads an average of every 5 months. There can be times where he takes 7+ months to give us an extra long/crazy deep video.
😂
At least I have one of the depression turtle books to keep me busy the 9-17 months between posts
@@LivingDeathGuy same and worth it
What books bro? @@LivingDeathGuy
DEPRESSION TURTLE IS BACK BEFORE THE END OF THE YEAR
Finally!! I was rewatching his videos over and over
and before the world crumbles around us once again :)
depression turtle is back before GTA6
@Wayback-intime HE IS A TORTOISE
Turtle is never late, and never early.
Turtle arrives precisely when he needs to!
I doubt anyone will see this, but about 5 months ago my ex boyfriend died in a car accident, and this video really connected with me because yeah I'm a mess because of it but I'm not the first person to feel like this. I used to watch your videos with him all day when he would visit. Thank you for the amazing content exurb1a ❤
Hugs to you. I hope this loss will be bearable in time.
I saw it. Read every word. I clearly understand.
This is, amazing content:).
Damn this shithole existence:).
xo
Hang in there, fellow human. You are certainly not alone. Hoping things get better for you soon.
Ya ex boyfriend ey? Did you's breakup before or after he got cronched?
A few have seen it and now we know of your pain. Your not as alone as you thought.
no ads, no sidebars, just the human experience for 15 minutes straight. your videos are awesome as always
yeah thanks for not plugging the obvious prozac sponsor
I am reading this while watching an unskippable ad.
@@memecached skill issue
@@fredscallietsoundman9701 Prozac is poison
he's a sexual abuser
My worst day was when i lost my daughter and carried her lifeless corpse to hospital. She was the product of 10 years of ivf, investigations and natural failure. The strain all that takes is immense and It's taken me years to feel human again. No chance of kids now. Its too late for us. The ptsd has worn away but the pain always just under the surface. Absolutely considered ending it all. Absolutely drank too much and got into trouble. The cavern is a horrible place but as long as you allow yourself to visit when it suits, things dont seem as bad forever. Anyway. Touching video.
Here's to you Georgie. May we meet again one day so we can give you another hug.
I'm so sorry.
I cant even imagine. Im so sorry
I'm so sorry
😮 Love u
Seems like I am unable to write down what I felt while reading this.
Just wanted to say that I really respect you. And I wish u the absolute best ❤
"No one in this world is worth idiolizing, everyone is f*king pathetic."
-Arthur Schopenhauer
100%! I unalived all my heroes a few years back and it's been very liberating
@@TheAmericanAmerican name checks out
I wouldn't know, weekday gin and tonic bingers is what I'm about.
Why did I spend all last Monday lying on the floor trying to be an iggly wiggly squid?
that's way too cynical for me. people are amazing creatures.
The worst period of my life was probably when I was completely strung out on drugs, going into the hospital every single year and always thinking of OD'ing again. I can't think of any significant number of friends I had at the time other than those who just wanted to do more drugs with me (and only briefly at that). These days, I'm quite happy, and have a partner who genuinely understands and loves me, and am finally satisfied with my body and existence as a woman instead of a man.
This is a lovely video.
You where a man?
HE HAS AWOKEN
Perfect ✔️
Turtles are often known to hibernate, so it's good he finally woke up 😅
Finally ;)
I am thankful for every video and he should take the time he needs for them. I... I just love him on a mentally way and I wish there were more people's you could talk on a frequentzy like that.
Grand sir
"A bit of a fucking wobble" is a motto I can live by
fuckin cheers to this
Sometimes everyone feels a little wobly.
I AM GETTING WOBBLED IN MY FAVORITE VIDEOGAME
Yeah that got me 😂
I like this quote
I'm currently going through the worst year of my life. Single after three years, broke, unemployed, in debt, depression, anxiety, suicide attempts... This video is something I needed to hear. As I sit here on my 28th birthday all I can say is... Thank you.
Happy birthday friend. One must go through the hard parts of life to truely appreciate the good parts when they come around.
You can make it through this, give yourself the future you deserve
Happy birthday from Kenya.. same age and I feel completely hopeless
Happy birthday. Hope things will improve
Happy Birthday stranger, have a peaceful one
Brotha I FEEL you...late twenties are rough...going thru it myself. My buddy in his 30s said that this time period is a tough one...hang in there
12:21 “but something happens, or nothing happens-“ this is my favorite line in this video… because long story short I’ve pretty much been isolated my entire life and only recently the crushing weight of loneliness has begun to devour my entire existence
Same here
I understand what you mean. After enough time alone, you convince yourself it's easier than engaging with people. Eventually something feels like it's missing, but by then it's harder than ever to break the isolation. I'm not gonna pretend I have a solution for you, but I would like to share some hope.
I feel you
He may not come out of his shell often, but when he does the whole world stops to listen
POW etree
Beautiful
master oogway
a bard i seee
fake deep, but at least it ain't kurzesagt ot school of life (but pretty much the same, just not sooo obvi)
I'm in a really bad point in my life and this video really come up at 5 a.m. in the morning where I don't sleep because everything is so fucked up in my life and so many things are going wrong and I feel like I have no time left to sort everything out. I'm a pretty stoic person due to my upbringing but this video with the stupid jokes really hit hard and broke me. Thank you exurb1a, genuinely. I hope the way out of the gloomy cave of despair is near and it's good to know that we all struggle all the same.
Stay strong dude... Or don't, since I'm told it's ok to break sometimes... But there's always a different tomorrow, and people will care. Good luck to you, spartan
Take a deep breath. Collect your wits, and try to get ahold of the situation.
Know that there's no "quick fix".
Change takes time. But little by little, you can regain your life.
And if you think there's nothing to regain, remember that just as deep down you're now, just as high up can you get.
And a true eventful life needs ups and downs.
Like a heartbeat 💓
Don't let that heart flatline... Okay? 👍
Now, have a great day tomorrow.
You never finish if you don't start 😊
There with you. I don't bother to comment much anymore. But yeah. Lost and messed up. Been there for last 8 months. But let's keep up aye.
You are never alone. Remember that
Our names are in the cave with you, you aren't alone. It's nice to remind yourself sometimes, one consistent thing in this universe is that things will change. Nothing can stay the same forever
- "Oh no", I thought, "Everyone is secretly broken aren't they?"
Made me tear up, thank you once again clever depression turtle
Man I needed this today, I fucked up am living in the cave alone right now. It helped me to see the light… just started a new job , probably have just lost the girl and my friend that I love the most and I’m living in a new country with no one to fall back on. It’s all so overwhelming and feels hopeless, but I’m just in the cave right now… thanks for opening my eyes
"Were not famous." Idk, man, you're getting there.
queens we much
Fame is relative anyway, and even if somebody heard of you, doesn't mean they know you.
my uni prof mentioned him so that must mean something
"... loneliness isn't something you can share, and if you can, then it was not loneliness to begin with."
Billy Joel's Piano Man begs to differ.
I don't know why this was the first thing I thought of, either.
Then what is it? What is loneliness if not the longing to share life with someone?
@@3nertia Look at it differently, once you are able to share it then its no longer loneliness
@@brenopaz9129 That doesn't mean it wasn't loneliness to begin with - that just means you're no longer lonely because you're sharing your life with someone in a meaningful way
Not only that, but you can be surrounded by people and still be lonely.
The words I uttered when I saw this video in my feed were: "Aw fuck me."
Let us all, trauma bond.
I'm a 23 Romanian bloke, my dad died in 2021, because COVID, I was in college doing archaeology from home and dropped out because I was more depressed than an onion cutting itself. I didn't work for 2 years, then started working from home for 1 year, got laid off, after two months I went to Germany and worked there for a month, conditions were utter garbage and life threatening (BinderGmBH - avoid that company like the plague) whilst sleeping on an inflatable mattress next to 2 trash bins in my cousin's kitchen. Got home, with some money but no job to speak of. Now, I am less depressed than an onion cutting itself.
How have your lives gone to shit?
@@bigzed7908 With a father that is highly addicted to gambling, leading to all kinds of shitty behaviour and circumstances. He destroyed the lives of his (ex) family members.
The only thing I got going for me is that I make some money in a soul-reaping job and I finally got an apartment in summer (and moved away from my grandma's).
I thought that that could've marked the beginning of a new chapter, maybe the chance to fix most other aspects of my life (the apartment is the first fixed aspect).
And then I discovered water damage a couple hours ago.. It's pretty bad but I really hope that I don't have to move out. That would be quite the gift for Christmas...
@@bigzed7908 Sadly(Happly) i don't have much trauma, i did almost die of an overdose 3 weeks ago, but we got through that now just trying to finish school and go on with life
@@bigzed7908 not to be the ''bob the fixer'' but first, Im sorry for that. Second of all, you sound pretty funny, you speak good English and you have a lot of experience that could help others who are in the same position as you. why not become a streamer? and online creator? build a community of helping each other and so on and so forth.
@@bigzed7908 I'm not a funny guy like you. I'm 36 from a North African country. My wife and I have recently overcame vaginismus after we struggled with it for three years. It only happened because I had accepted my responsibility in the perpetuation of the problem. When I did that, I became her ally rather than someone whose reaction she had to fear which greatly helped her relax.
I'm struggling with other stuff but I'm soldiering on.
My partner of 20 years died a month ago, my sister's services were a month before that, my brother I buried six months ago and he his wife a few months prior. My father has been gone a decade, my mom preceded him by half that length. Next month I will have lived for 22,000 days and the world population has more than doubled in my lifetime. Yet I am all alone, tired, and feeling around in an unfamiliar dark cave. This may be a new kind of hell, but I am not inexperienced with the underworld; I planned ahead this time and brought a large bottle of Gin. Thank you.
Don't forget your steam password down there, you'll need your copy of doom as well
Beautiful comment
This man just gets depressed, disappears for a couple months, and drops a banger. just for the cycle to repeat again 😂😅
A true artist
And from that we got exurb1ism, the philosophy of needing regular existential crises to stay sane in this world.
Amen
I hate how much this makes sense
We need regular doses of insanity so that we can feel comfort in the fact that it's not just us who are insane, all of existence is insane.
No one should be alone with their insanity.
@@shipwreck9146 "To be sane in an insane world must appear insane"
Wait... I think you've figured something out. And it makes so much sense
At 13:54, when the turtle said "democracy" and showed a picture of the Hungarian parliament, I almost pissed myself laughing.
Én is RIP
why tho??
Hungary mostly became an illiberal democarcy through the consolidation of power by a single party called FIDESZ, and huge amounts of corruption and embezzelment of public funds by said party. @@imnotakingimnotagodiam..ab9455
@@imnotakingimnotagodiam..ab9455 Because the hungarian president basically managed to to (somewhat) sneakily turn hungary into a dictatorship. That's why Trump likes him so much, because he already established what the big orange turd wants to have in the US too.
Why what's up?
So the two gorgeous paintings at 3:00-3:05 are
Lighthouse on the Norwegian Coast by Peder Balke
(if you also put the word "nasjonalmuseet" into the google search, you get an extremely high def image), and
Ship Pole in Storm by Ivan Aivazovsky
Don't worry, this only took me 45 minutes :)
Thanks for your work!
Hey man, I spent so much time in the cave of despair, i made it my home, swept the floor, dusted things down, hung a few nice paintings, put in a couch and a bed, a fridge full of goodies, tv, computer with internet connection, now it's my temple of solace.
Lol , love this attitude
This is beautiful. When you're stuck for so long might as well get comfortable with it.
That’s called a “Man Cave”.
There's a little cabin right at the mouth of the Cave of Despair. It's not much, but I keep the fire going in case anyone needs a warm drink and a listening ear on their way out of the Cave.
I've seen countless faces emerge from the Cave. Some stop, most don't, but to everyone who passes, I offer a warm smile and a wave to welcome them back into the light.
I'm no stranger to the depths, and on one of my many journeys back to the surface, an old man was sat outside telling stories out of an old tome. When he saw me emerge from the cave, he smiled and beckoned me over.
The old man is long gone now, but I've remained at the cabin, tending to the fire in his stead. After all, someone has to keep the beacon lit to guide the Cave's denizens back from the abyss.
I have entered the abyss. I have bought a house in the abyss. I am getting my post forwarded to the abyss
"it would be odd to go an entire life without occasionally losing the plot" 13:28
I think i really needed that
The plot I once thought was the plot has seriously been rewritten the last couple of years.
@@Touwtjeyou’re lucky, my plot’s gone all avant-garde and no longer believes in any form of established narrative structure.
🫂
I just find my plot boring
@@rafaelalodio5116 Then all the better if you lose it.
I'll just brush off the thought of "Everyone is secretly broken aren't they?", because no matter how broken they may be, some of them still choose to become insufferable piece of s*** instead of reflecting on their reality and being a bit kinder.
4:00 "English is terrible for talking about complex emotions, especially the sad ones" is not something i've thought about but makes sense given the cultures
English is horrible for expressing emotions (I speak English, Czech, Slovak and a bit of German and English gets me most frustrated with expressives)
show me then
@@joyesjames8773 co ti mám ukázat? Že ozaj viem po slovensky, česky a aj Deutsch ich verstehe? Lol
English is very easy to fix. If there isn't a word for something, then borrow a word from another language or make up a new one! It's not that English lacks the word as such is that we don't want to write it down or express the thing 🙂🤷♂️
It's true but I still like English. It's the only language which never sounds odd (at least to me)
Currently in the cave myself. My motto these past couple of years has been "If you're going through hell, keep going" and "this shall pass". I just wish I'll find the exit sooner rather than later, but there's no point trying to rush ahead of time. This helps, though. Thanks, existential dread turtle.
Great motto, the dawn is near brother 💪🏼
I tell myself "it will be okay at the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end".
There's no evidence for this to be true but we gotta keep going somehow. It'll be okay at the end.
Yes, keep going! We are all pulling for you.
@dhhshfsjsj "it'll be alright on the night!"
In there with you. My motto is no way out but through
As a person with various mental illnesses, it's hard honestly. I end up in that cave more times than you'd think and i've honestly thought of giving up several times in life, to throw the towel and you know what to do but. I'm still here, somehow, and i am still able to type this comment. It's amazing.
And i'm probably in that cave again, but you know when you fall too many times in the same place, you learn to endure, carved my name there more times than i can count. A little greedy isn't it?
Most of life is misery for me, everyday feels like an awful struggle that gives me constant headaches and pain, yet i still have those occasional little moments of joy. And those little moments are the reason i live, are the reason i'm still here.
Omg… same. I live around a family who mostly does not know how to make me feel emotionally validated. They tell me to just let go of my negativity. But this video makes me feel valid. Sometimes something happens, or nothing happens, and you end up in the cave. But as you said, I persevere. I wanted to commit recently, but I told myself to stay for the relief I get when I experience the simple joys, such as sleeping peacefully on my bed, with my plushies.
At times it feels as if I am the cave's custodian. Most visitors find an exit. Some don't and decide to make their own. The ones that don't find the exit bring even more visitors and things get crowded. Eventually things quiet down and I am again alone and left to clean up after everyone. I am not there because I like it. It's not that the pay is great or the heath insurance is good. I just can't seem to find a way out. Many people have told me how they got out, but it is all just twisting caves and quicksand for me. I get this analogy is bad and people will read it as whining or lack of effort, but that is just what mental illness is like for me.
I feel the exact same. It’s hard when it’s your own brain working against you
beautiful
you're not alone
My wonderful grandmother just passed away and I didn’t go home for Christmas this year because I was “too busy with work”. I didn’t see her before she left and now she’s gone. The Christmas card she sent me is sitting on my kitchen table although I haven’t had the strength to open it yet.
It’s safe to say I’ll taking a trip to the cave for a little while. But this video shed a bit of light on the way out and, for that Alex, I thank you
4:22 I'm Italian, but I never heard this Idiom. What I heard is "minestra riscaldata", which translates to "reheated soup": it conveys the same message of "a situation that is now past, which you want to revive but which no longer has the value as it had in the past".
Sorry to be that jerk, but are you Italian in the sense you were born and raised and still live there, or Italian in the sense you immigrated at 3 years old to another country and have Italian ancestry?
@eskaweeks Italian Italian, born, raised and living in italy.
I cringe too at Americans calling themselves Italian bacause they have some ancestor 150 years ago from Naples.
Same with the german word "waldeinsamkeit". Never heard it, it's apparently a thing but technically you could create every word in German by just putting nouns together lol
I'm sorry but I must disagree. The best soups are even better when reheated later...
@@brenton2561Not all soups are created equal
This one's a new favorite, I'm so glad you're still creating ^^
My mom recently passed away, and I really needed this. I just slept in my own bed for the first time in a month since it happened. I hope that by braving the reality of my inherited, empty home, I will come out of this with new eyes and strength.
Hey man, be strong.
I'm sorry for your loss 🫂
Sorry for your lost, much love
I’m sorry for your loss man, the new eyes must be very fucking pretty if they need such huge bargains. I hope you would be doing okay soon.
Big hugs~ I don’t know how I will handle losing my mum, but in time you will be ok. Have to believe that for you and for myself. ❤
i have a final today, specifically in about 30 minutes. I popped this on to pass the time, thinking "whats the worst exurbia could do to my psyche in a wee 15 minute video?"
then the story about your neighbor shook me deep and now im chocking back from the sympathy to a stranger I cant even identify in person.
im not complaining of course, in fact I can probably face my exam in a better mindset now im aware "this is literally an objectively very good day for myself" but I ask you warn me ahead of altering the course of my whole outlook on life in a quarter hour period. It's not good to age so quick...
I hope everything goes well. If it doesn't, find another way. It's there. Just push it, you'll do it
Just remember, once you've got through this period in your life, whenever bad things happen in the future, you can think "well at least I'm not doing fucking finals". Probably.
how’d it go dude?
sooo fake deep.
@@intellectually_lazy Your name checks out👍🏾🤡
It’s funny how sometimes I have these ideas, but don’t know how to express them in an orderly fashion. Then somebody comes along and shares the same thoughts you were having through their words.
This came out the day after my grandpa died And i know you won’t see this but thank you exub1a this made me feel the tiniest bit better
Sorry for your loss ❤
Sorry for your loss. It is important that you take your time to grieve in your way.
I’m sorry for your loss
So sorry dear. Loss is never easy. Sending exurb1afam hugs your way!
"It'd be better not to have the tragedies in the first place but it is pretty neat how resilient we can be even as everything goes down the toilet in our own little lives and on the big global stage. And that we know, just as well as our ancestors did: Life is cruel and intolerably awful at times but if one dares to stare directly into the unavoidable abyss of pain, loss and tragedy, the reward on the other end is often new eyes." this turtle always surprises me with its quotes. 10:35
And Nietzsche was scared the abyss would stare back
“If misery is truth, then laughter simply is.”
Random ass homeless guy I met on the street.
Was there perhaps a giant wine barrel nearby?
@@pyrobeav2005bro might actually be exurb1a
Average philosophy major
Only few needles of fun juice…
"Never cut your hair, but let the people you love brush it," the homeless man said before he walked away from me
Got a whole new perspective from this video. I've been cycling in and out of feeling like there's no point continuing for years. The image you described, of your future self waiting for you to come out of despair really broke through the clouds and shone some sunlight into my darkness.
Yes, I can get through this and it is worthwhile. I will be stronger on the other side and will have the energy to have a positive influence on the lives of my loved ones.
Thank you so much for making this 🖤
He remembered his password!
Rather he came out of his cave ..
@Wayback-intime rather, his shell
Lol
5:30 THE MIGHTY TURTLE BROKE CHARACTER!!! SOUND THE ALARMS!
Who wouldn't. First half is the setup of a beautiful poem. The second half is more beautiful than anyone could possibly imagine.
So funny!
Lost a friend this year, he went into the cave, he was not alone, I was there with him. He decided to never come out. I'm still there, scratching and clawing... despair, darkness. I'm still here though. Even when I eventually walk out, I will be sad, he will not walk out with me. I won't walk out and find him outside, nor will I walk out first and wait for him. He is lost, forever...
I'm sorry for your friend, but there's no shame in thinking for yourself and leaving the cave. Knowing that you've done all you can helps, I believe. Be gentle with yourself, and who knows- maybe you choosing yourself will lead your friend by example :'')
I don't tend to reply. But this seemed important. I know it sucks. And believe my name is in that cave as well. I imagine your friend might have felt like he was alone there. He was wrong, as you know. Just as you might not be alone in there as well. The comment section of this video is just the tip of the ice berg of random strangers who understand how you feel. Just as there are plenty of others in real life. Nothing last forever, the cave in time too will change. Hang in there.
With all kindness, yours truly.
A sympathetic stranger.
@@AhYes-it3mr I'm truly sorry for your loss. I've lost a friend the same way. Life has no meaning. He didn't trust anyone, besides me, his mom and his brothers...
the cave is so fucked. i cant find my way out of it sometimes as well. it's disorientating and dark and sometimes it just feels like home. fuck that place. i'm so sorry your friend never found the way out but i'm so glad you will.
You'll walk out of the cave, soon.
Wow! I think this is the most beautiful video I have ever watched/ listened to. I am currently in the cave of despair and this video just turned up on my feed today. I was thinking recently about how terrifying and dreadful life can be at times and how we don't often talk about this. I love how this video basically talked about everything I've been thinking about recently. Plus there was beautiful artwork, beautiful music, foreign language and I love the the quotes from those famous artists when they too were in the cave of despair. The modern day obsession with having to be positive at all times definitely makes life harder when you are depressed, grieving etc We just really need to be allowed to feel our feelings, then we naturally start to feel a bit better anyway.
I discovered this channel by accident one night as I was scrolling TH-cam in 2018. By god has this changed my life. Every time I watch your videos I feel a sense of common dread and hopefulness. It always makes me feel like I am going to be okay. Thank you for what you do, thank you for the time you invest into the world. Here’s to years of craziness ahead of us and behind us. Thank you for creating, the world is a better place because of you.
I’ve saved all of his video essays, so that I can put him on autoplay and many nights I listen to his words as I drift asleep. I move between the videos of exurb1a and Horses for my subliminal listening.
„Have u hung out with people whose heart have been broken? It’s like they’ve been shot“ is wild but oddly specific
edit: 3:26 for those wondering
Also very true
Pretty accurate
Im barley surviving
Literally me
I laughed out loud when he said that. It's so true, and we know it first hand, not by watching another's misery.
Thank you for this. In the cave for the past two years, currently on my way out, one step at the time, glimpses of the light outside shining through. Bookmarking this to be my flashlight for future cave visits, because you sure as hell can't see a damn thing down there, not even your own memories of walking out.
"Why.....because shut up." LOL
Just found this and watched it twice at 2:30 am not wanting to go to sleep because....
0:24 knowing Bulgarian is finally paying off
Care to share translation?
@@bigbluedinothethird9781"What do you want, *tiger says*, I am trying to get high, don't call me again, fuck you, idiot", roughly.
@@bigbluedinothethird9781another comment said it was something like "I'm trying to get high, never call me again"
@@bigbluedinothethird9781 yeah it goes “I’m trying to get high, don’t call me again and then ends with a saying that, in this context, is used as something like “you dipsh*t” (literal translation word for word sounds very weird in english but goes “to fuck you”)
@@bigbluedinothethird9781translation goes “What do you want, man!? I’m trying to get h1gh! Don’t call me again, for f***s sake! Idiot…”
Literal translation word for word would go something like “What do you want,eh? I’m trying to get h1gh! Don’t call me again, eh, to f*** you! Idiot…” We sometimes use “to f*ck you” as an insult, depending upon context is used as “you dips**t” or “for f***s sake”
EXISTENTIAL TURTLE!!!!!
One of the few creators who accept us as who we are rather than telling us to get our shit together. you age like fine wine my friend.
Thank God
I just wanna be the shit mess I am without the world constantly bombarding me with “do better.” Jesus.
i've been feeling terribly unmoored in my life and stumbled upon this video. i clicked with zero expectations, but i left feeling very healed. thank you so much! it was such a beautifully done video, i know i'll be revisitting it many times (whenever i enter my cave of despair)
Dude. Yesterday I told my counselor that if I was unalived, “oh well”. I have been firmly in the cave of despair and today, with the help of whisky… 🤷♀️ I decided to crawl out, again. Then I randomly saw this video tonight. Damn. Thanks.
Good luck. I hope a light shines upon you, whatever it is. Merin sa haryalyae alasse!
Soak in the joy when it happens, steal happiness back from tragedy. Get good at bunkering down and distracting yourself during the bad times. Always remember things can take a turn for the better. This too shall pass.
We gotta keep crawling I guess. Start crawling, we might just be walking some day.
Man, me to man, me too!
In the midst of some of the worst years of my life, I've found something that brings me joy and passion. For the past few months Ive been learning to skydive and have been working as a parachute packer for a local DZ. I hated my life for most of my life, but this has given me community, confidence, bravery, and an absolute burning desire to live life and enjoy it as much as i can no matter the struggles.
You never know what's coming next. That alone is a great reason to live.
Edit: Well, that (6:52) was a bit of a coincidence.
But you can't really skydive every so often. It costs a bunch. And with the world that doesn't think nor care, how do you earn a living and then some to cover skydiving? Ain't that... really hard to plan out?
@@littlehorn0063He has regained his will to live, and all you see is problems?
Clearly it's working for him 🎉
I actually lost a friend, who didn't regain his will to live... And then just didn't......... 😢
I'm truly happy for you. Thanks for sharing your story 🙏
@@littlehorn0063OP was sharing their specific situation and passion, which they apparently have the budget and time for. But for their general point it doesn't have to be skydiving. Sewing is a cheap but fun hobby, drawing as well, a lot of physical activities are free. Eventually while living you stumble into something you really enjoy, for op it happened to be skydiving.
@littlehorn0063 Skydiving only costs about $25 a jump once you have a license. You can absolutely do it alot. I did many jumps almost every weekend with a medium paying job.
There is a dish "Sauerkraut with pork and barley" that gets better the more you reheat it, especially if you burn it a little while reheating. French toast is also a dish that uses stale bread and makes it different but still better than it originally was. There is truth to reheated things not being the same, but sometimes they are better for it. Same for fixing pots through "Kintsugi"
I got my current laptop at 1/3 of it's price because it fucking fell off a shelf and got damaged (only estetical damage tho) and it was marked for destruction. Ofc I took a risk cuz there might actually be some fracture to the MB or something (that 1/3 price tag was still a lot of money for me) but it's /been 3 years and it's still fine.
You can tell where it hit the floor cuz the screen hinge is split, it has a bend and the speaker grill exploded but in a way is a reminder that it was on its way to be shredded. People told me to fix the markings but I never bothered. I kinda thought of it as some kind of "kintsugi". I didn't fix it but I appreciate the damage. I know it's just a silly laptop that has no thoughts but I'm happy to have "saved it".
@@9Tensai9 nice, fellow touhou fan
I love your content and your videos! Please don't stop making them anytime soon. Every time I watch your videos, I feel like my intrusive thoughts are being explored fully, almost in berserk mode. I’m really busy nowadays with day-to-day tasks, and your videos help me feel grounded and humble. They remind me to enjoy life as it comes, and I’m sure many people feel the same way. Love you! 💖
"oh yeah" they say "there's the library and there's the cinema, and the bakery and that's the cave of hopeless despair you'll end up in sometimes where all of your dreams are savagely crushed for no obvious reason."
And you will say "sorry, what?"
and they say "oh and over there is the juice bar."
Wow you can type out a script. Gold star
I fuckin love juice, Simply Peach Juice is my elixir of life 😋🍑♥️
But I also like Brisk Fruit Punch, apple juice and orange juice too. One time, a hurricane was coming, and so I went to get some supplies and spent $60 on juice and drinks 🫢 and I don’t even drink alcohol anymore. 😅
@@lincoln4408chill out man
@@Megadextrious you mean like no alcohol at all, only juice?
sometimes when I'm sitting here feeling miserable this channel posts something and I think to myself "great I would love to hear how depressing life is for everyone right now..." but despite that I still watch it for some reason and sometimes it does make me feel worst and all I can see is how bad it all is but... other times, like today, it doesn't go that way and maybe I cry or maybe I smile and I can't quite say it gave me happiness but maybe... it just gave me the feeling I was allowed to stop thinking about everything that hurts and let go for just a moment
I don't have sufficient words to tell you how seen your videos make me feel. I have some psychology friends who mean we'll, but wield a sort of deliberate ignoring of bad things and make me feel bad for saying, "Hey everyone can see this shit, right?"
They mean to ease my pain and I love them and I get it. I have also had very good therapy, but it was from a therapist who didn't insist I sort of gaslight myself.
All of this is to say, your videos are priceless and I cannot thank you enough.
*well
This helped me so much, for the past days this has been going on for a year my mood constantly swings, I'm miserable now, I feel sad but seconds later I laugh at anything I see even the most basic jokes. Up until now I'm still miserable af, but after this video I realized that, feeling these insecurities, these mishaps, these flaws, everyone does too, everyone is a fvking mess. It cheered me up, it made me feel that people are too busy with themselves to even bother me or to even know how I feel or find their to way attack me, its all upon my reactions on how I deal with these, and sometime in the future, I'll look at this comment, with a subtle smile, and a single tear.
This video essay is quite beautiful. Thank you for taking the time to make it. I’ve been to that cave, spent almost most of childhood and then a decade of my 30’s there. Now life is beautiful and “doing without trying” is my way. Accepting the realities of life as absurd comedy rather than tragedy.
Thank you. I was in a full blown PTSD shutdown, and my boyfriend put you on, he's got no idea who you are, just that you were at the top of the page. It worked. Helped calm down the emotions long enough for them to settle. I've been listening to you for years, and still am surprised by how you inject so much optimism. You really have made an insane difference to me over the years.
needed to hear this today. my dad died a few months ago & today is his birthday. its comforting to know that i’m not the only one going through this- although it often feels like it sometimes.
may we always find our way out of the cave & not let it ultimately consume us
Currently in the cave myself and this video helped. thanks
I have popped back with a torch.. this video reminded me not to stay to long.
Please accept a very warm handshake
@alfredforbessealy524I have chronically sweaty hands
Don't forget to leave your name on the wall, and take some time to find the names others have left during their temporary stay there. It's good to be remembered
You can do it buddy. Hope we'll see you out here on the cliff again soon but take your time if you want. It's okay to have a a bit of a fucking wobble every now and then.
My two favorite quotes regarding this topic:
"everything will turn out ok in the end, and if it isn't ok yet, it's not the end"
and
"if you can think of a beautiful end, live beautifully until the end" especially this one helped me though very dark times in my life.
Thanks man, needed that. Unemployed currently. Nobody sends employment offers in December. Trying to find meaning in all of the free time I have. This was a good kick in the pants telling me everything will be okay.
I was there two years back. Went through the holidays broke and borrowing money for rent. Got something like 20 job offers January 2nd. So long as you can tough it out, I promise you got this.
@vla1ne I'm glad I'm not the first one blazing this path. Thanks.
Yep, I'm there too. 58 years old, slight disabilities, and unemployable. No one is going to pick me out of the heap.
I just wanted to take a moment and thank you for the content on this channel. My life is a complete mess. I'm 40 years old with no direction in my life whatsoever. No career. No close family, very few friends... On my good days I'll preach that the only hope for humanity is to have hope in humanity. On my not so good days I'll curl up in a little ball on the couch and pray that maybe this time I'll never wake up. Life really can suck sometimes. But the content of your videos never fails to cheer me up. Keep it up man, such wit and wisdom are in very short supply these days. I wish you the best.
Oh and your cat IS f****** majestic.
So umm, yea... congrats on that too.
It’s like he just knew I failed my final exams and dropped an edible. He’s truly a god amount men and this is the best present I could ask for right now! Thanks for making me feel heard that I’m not crazy and giving me hope to keep going
This video came at the absolutely perfect time for me. For far too long, so much about my life and, in a way, the situation of the world as a whole has been so utterly *still* . Some things shifting and changing, but everything ultimately stagnating. Sometimes I wonder if I'll make it through this. Sometimes I wonder if humanity will make it through this.
Looking back though, at how much we as a species have been able not only to survive but come out laughing is astounding. By all means we should have been wiped _millenia_ ago by plagues and war and our own stupidity and yet here we are, watching a funny British man on TH-cam making hand puppets swear.
Even if moving forward is like wandering through the forest in the dark, while it's raining, after having all of your limbs chopped off, I know that considering all the awful shit we've been through before, we _can_ make it through to the other side.
Thank you, Exurb1a. Thank you.
5:56 of course the break in character happens when there's insults to someone's mother haha
Fucking classic that he included that 😂😂👌
I was sick the last month and suffered from anxiety and stress it was the worst month of my life i couldn't do anything i was just so stressed and everything was going down , but i see it now as a reminder that after bad days , good days come and if one day i started to feel good again i will be very very gratefull for the life i have , i ask god from the bottom of my heart to overcomethis and i'll be the gladest person
13:50 - Best timing ever omg. I love that you put Debussy's music on the background, i mean, that music is so beautiful, quiet, calm, etc, it's all this and more haha.
Good music, perfect timing and great video.
The feeling after watching a new exurb1a video is truly something special. You help with my inner peace so much. I have had one of the roughest years of my life after losing my dad unexpectedly on my birthday late last year, and just recently finished your books 'Poems for the Lost Because I'm Lost Too' and 'Geometry for Ocelots'. I seriously cannot thank you enough for how much your writing and video's contribute to my wellbeing and motivation to keep going when the road is at its hardest. Much love, Exurb1a
11:40 wait a second..... This is from "poems for the lost because I'm lost too" sneaky turtle thinking we wouldn't notice
pretty sure another frame of the guy doing the :o face was apart of the buddhism, absurdism, or another video too
"The universe knows what it's doing"
Bold assumption from a piece of the universe that doesn't know what it's doing
Kek'd
Your videos always remind me of my old college friend. Naturally she shaved her head and moved to Brighton, never to be seen again. We were the only people in our friend group that had watching your videos in common; But it was fun sharing our ideas about each concept you shared whilst I had the chance to.
I like to think they still watch from time to time. Hope you’re enjoying yourself Ally.
Unrequited love from a lesbian?.
How the hell algorithm maybe but I started to love and find your videos time ago, recently went deep diving in Taoism soon to get to the hardest biggest heartbreak and now you post this. This subscribe is for life
14:15 Énouement isn’t an official French word and doesn’t appear in dictionaries like Larousse. It was created by John Koenig in The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows to describe complex emotions. While it sounds French, it’s not recognized in the language.
Certainly a deformation of "dénouement".
@@madara14121I was going to say that, you beat me to it !
Funnily enough, for all the existential dread in basically all of your video’s. I cannot describe in the English language how much your videos make me glad to be alive
im crying my savior is back right after i went on a nostalgia trip on ur old videos
i love this video, depression turtle's soul is so beautiful I could listen to you talk for ages
"If one dares to stare directly into the unavoidable abyss of pain, loss and tragedy, the reward at the other end is often new eyes"
I wouldn’t get too attached to the narrator if I were you. He’s done some fucked up stuff
The best early Christmas gift ever
Your poem of your neighbour in the elevator is my favourite one in your book, still gets me to tears everytime
First of all, good to see you posting. Posting this comment here as a bit of closure for myself.
My parents immigrated to the US before I was born, but they are from Bulgaria. We grew up speaking English at home so I have no trace of a Bulgarian accent, but my mother took me to visit my grandparents at their house when I was 3 years old and I learned the language anyway. Over the years my brothers and I were fortunate to go visit them a few times and stay with them in my grandparents house. One of the best things about that house was it was right next to the train tracks and we could see the train from the rooms we stayed in, or in the kitchen for breakfast.
In 2014 I made my first trip over there by myself and stayed with them as an adult. I considered going to university there, but was having a hard time finding a school with the programs I wanted that was accredited in the US, and it didn’t work out. I remember working with my grandma in the garden and watching the trains as they rolled by.
In 2018 I got married, and in 2019 I went to visit with my mom, brothers, and my wife and we had a grand time. I remember sitting on their patio with my cousins, brothers, and wife just laughing having a great time, watching the trains.
My grandmother died in 2020, which was really hard for me as I didn’t have the means to go back to see her right after the trip in 2019. She had actually nannied for my brothers and I in the states in our younger years and that was tough.
2022 my son was born and he is by far the best part of my life. In 2023 my wife, son, mom, and I made a trip over to visit my grandpa. The house was there as always, but it was difficult being there without my grandma. The plants in her garden had withered with no one to tend to them. I chose to focus on the delight my son found with the trains my grandpa would show him- picking him up so he could see out the window.
My grandpa died a couple months ago in 2024, and things are weird with the house and whats going to happen to it. I feel like I’m missing a part of me with them gone, and I’m missing a part of my heritage. When we go to visit, Bulgaria will be there and be the same, but it’s not the same without them. Work life has been piling up a lot of stress on me over time to just create this general blahhhh I feel in life.
I know you mentioned in other videos you live/lived in Bulgaria for a bit, and I recognized some of your b roll footage as being on the main train line that cuts through the country. Including a section that goes past my grandparents house with all those memories.
It’s a bit weird, but your videos give me a sense of connection. I wonder if you ever saw that house or them from the train on the rails that went right past that house.
I LOVE your content, I was petty deep into the exurb1a library when I first saw those shots on the train and the Cyrillic letters that spelled Bulgarian words. I was gleefully surprised to see you shared a part of the world I find so pure, beautiful, and joyful. That’s not why I watch your content though. Our ways of thinking are pretty similar, despite the fact I’ve done little philosophy reading outside of Descartes, and both your fiction and nonfiction content is astoundingly clever. I love when you drop a new video
But there is still an underlying sense of homesickness, and when I watch one of these videos, it helps with that just a little bit more. Cheers mate, thanks for everything you do
Съжалявам за баба ти и дядо ти. Желая ти винаги да си ги спомняш с добро и да вдъхновиш същите хубави спомени и емоции, които ти си имал у твоите деца и внуци :)
Stay strong brother!!
❤
Can we get some more detail?
The Top Comments be like; Wow no ads! So cool to see him post! "quote from the video that would ruin the video if you scrolled down"
New Comments be like: Thank you for this im in the worst year of my life right now after losing my entire family slowly one by own to the eternal pain and suffering, a single tear rolls down my face and you have shown me another path to hope.
I was quite literally thinking this identical thought and then I found your comment. I don't get it, either. Something isn't right with this platform as of late.
Yup.. lots of people feeling petty of themselfs.. like they r competing to see whose the most miserable one.
dead internet theory
5:10 Well i feel alot of Weltschmerz in my Waldeinsamkeit rn
Weltschmerz ? World-pain? Please elaborate, this sounds like a word I need to know
Immerse yourself in Schadenfreude - it's a marvelous cure, but temporary.
@alfredforbessealy524 Weltschmerz (German: [ˈvɛltʃmɛɐ̯ts] ⓘ; literally "world-pain") is a literary concept describing the feeling experienced by an individual who believes that reality can never satisfy the expectations of the mind,[1][2] (Wikipedia)
@alfredforbessealy524I personally would describe it like this:
the world is broken and fucked up and there is nothing you can really do about it, basically being a plant with too much water and not being able to move, just wanting to get out of the water, because you just can't take any more water.
there is so much suffering in the world and the glass is half empty
@Alex-ye9bo yeah that pretty much describes it.
I spent the first hour of this year rushing my cat to emergency. She passed away a day later, just yesterday. I loved her more than I've loved anyone or anything in this world. In my grief, nothing got through excpet the existential turtle's latest video, conviniently posted just recently. Thank you, exurb1a. I can't wait to be the future me who has powered through this...
I feel like I’ve been in that dark cave since 2016. Then when 2020 happened, a lot more people started showing up, horrified, and it felt like some light was shining through. “I’ve been living like this for years!” I would say. It made things seem a bit less dark; to finally have some sort of companion or community in which I could share the misery.
i feel that very much ^^' hope you're doing alright nowadays.
5:50 someones been watching sam o nella
I noticed immediately lmao
@ same 💀
I wish it was me watching brand new videos from him. Alas, he hides.
What video is being referenced? I watch his vids too but I didn't recognize anything
@@Pyxytychinese warlord one
I was an depressed alcoholic for 10 years, started doing alot of acid and mdma and ended just doing large dozes of acid by myself in the dark and one day i just stopped drinking and smoking weed and i haven't really been sad since...
alone?
Addiction isn't this thing that controls us, we really can stop anytime we want, but we don't want to.
Yes alone @@samuelflg607
Incredible!
Keep making yourself well
Careful @@Tubeytime, this might be kind of true for cigarettes and stuff like that, but a lot of drugs come with evil withdrawals. If you're heavily addicted to alcohol, the withdrawal can kill you.
And the reason one doesn't wanna stop doing the drugs is exactly because they control you
that was incredibly helpful. i struggle so much with sadness and today is especially bad. i needed to hear it like that
Magic Turtle man remembered his password
Tiger swearing at me in Bulgarian (my mother tongue) with a cute British accent really got me.
Everyone feels “the sads”, but some people feel nothing else.
The cave has no exit. 17 years
and that's exactly what's keeping you in the cave. there's always an exit
Hi, do you need someone to talk to?
Utterly relatable
Prepare for the sads of tomorrow; and then just laugh in the face of it.
4:06
holy shit obsecure arabic word mentioned lets goooo
btw "ya'aburnee" is usually used mostly in certain regions of Syria and Lebanon and it comes from the word "Qabar" which means "To bury" soneone, and when used differently it becomes an insult like
"inshallah bi'qbrak" which means "I want to bury you/end you"
My grandma died two hours ago. Thanks.
I’m sorry for your loss, but I don’t see how it’s exurb1a’s fault.
@ I wasn’t being sarcastic brother. In the video he’s saying it’s okay to be sad. It helps.
@@maxmitchell5181 rip brother if fr
@velourbarbie I guess it’s crazy odds but yeah she passed away after having lung cancer
This sounds so passive aggressive, but my condolences man. I drew a portrait of my great grandma when she died and hung it on the mini-fridge. Keeps the memory alive yknow?
My friend and I have been discussing suffering a lot lately. Specifically focusing on the question of "If you could stop all suffering, would you?" And we've both come to the conclusion that suffering is a necessary evil. Me because I believe without suffering everything becomes numb, there will be no spectrum of pain to compare the lack of it against. And she believes that without suffering there is no meaning to life. Why do we do anything if not to struggle for it. "But if one dares to stare directly into the unavoidable abyss of pain, loss, and tragedy, the reward at the other end is often new eyes." Once again in a single sentence you artistically describe a feeling that has taken days of discussion for us to reach fully. Thank you turtle dude. For giving voice to otherwise indescribable feelings that we all have or will feel
Well said. I often remind myself that love = grief. You can't have one without the other. Grief and suffering are the price you must pay for love and hope. Nothing at all depressing about that, in fact it is the candle that both defies and defines the darkness (to quote Anne Frank).
I really resonate with your way of thinking as this masterfully concise way of putting together this complex philosophical and spiritual chain of thought is really admirable. It really hit close to home and seeing that it did in other people too makes me feel connected in a really nice way through the internet haha
The invention of the term crashout is a genuine innovation in the English language that shows that we are inventing new words for complex emotions
I was thinking of writing some clever and profound comment and then suddenly it hit me. Fook it i said and I’m writing my stream of consciousness because who’s going to judge me? We see ourselves through the eyes of other people a lot but the funny thing is we don’t know how their eyes see.
Speaking of eyes, the line “you will come out of the cave with the new eyes” or something like that (my memory sucks) is spot on. We come out of tragedies and heartbreaks with a totally new perspective mostly. In finding the way out the cave we find new versions of ourselves who are stranger to us.
That said I’m currently finding my way out with the help of philosophies that our ancestors have created for us, videos like this and friends and family. These are my torches.
Thanks for your contribution in giving us universes in little meat form existential punches and lifting our spirits o wise turtle. 🐢
So true…
The great turtle has dropped