Thank you, destiny. I have once again listened to one of the most braindead and worst conversations of all time, for no reason whatsoever, knew none of the context behind it, and really enjoyed it. Good job. Keep at it.
Well its not inconceivable. I'll give you an example, highschool sweethearts. Would you expect teenagers to be certain they want children? Or even think to have that conversation? They get older and get engaged but never have the talk about children, but then it turns out one of them doesn't actually want children.
@@jorgeyportlythis never happens in real life. Young people don’t get engaged then find out their partner doesn’t want children, this is crazy to me and I’m in my early 20s. Even for high schoolers, they constantly talk to each other.
@@jorgeyportlysounds like they won't be sweethearts for long if they can't work that one out. But I don't think anyone bases their understanding of relationships off of what high schoolers are capable of.
@@jamesf4423 it does, maybe when you grow up you realize you dont want kids, or that you do want kids asap. i dont think ive talked with my first girlfriend about absolutely anything serious other than our current plans since we were 15 year old kids...
According to Bella’s logic, wiping your ass is the single biggest priority in finding a mate, since none of us would be with a partner that doesn’t wipe their ass!
She doesn’t understand the conversation and what deal breaker means. Deal breakers are minimum requirements. The point is when youre choosing your partner, youre not chosing people on minimum requirements because its assumed that by that point everyone youre deciding on already meets minimum requirements. You’re now choosing beyond your minimum requirements
The thing about 50 shades of grey is ABSOLUTELY FUCKING INSANE. Like it is literally canon, that Christian Grey is a bad Dom, because he DOESN'T do aftercare and such and wants to hurt women who look like his mom. Anna literally breaks down crying multiple times in the book and breaks up with him after he ignores her safe word and leaves her afterwards. 50 shades of grey has nothing to do with kink and everything to do with an abusive relationship.
Oh damn! I have heard that before but completely forgot about it - I was still hung up on her thinking that BDSM from a woman’s perspective is less hardcore than missionary from a man’s perspective 🤣 absolutely bonkers
Dude, this "Abuse" thing is really annoying. Everything is "Abusd". I think Work & Taxes are the epitome of Abuse. I believe I have an extremely abusive relationship with DMV & Police & Employers & ... Nobody gives crap about my "safe words".
@@maxwellsdemon10 But you see my point. Nobody cares, if I have to work for 12 hours & pay like 30-40% tax. Cant claim PTSD on Taxes. They will send me to jail. But a bad date or someone said something, now is the end of the world. And I've notice that nobody even cares about child abuse. Otherwise we wouldn't allow every idiot to have 10 children.
Pretty much this. There is no excuse. If you are unhappy, find a way to make it work or leave. If you are incapable of being faithful, you a deeply selfish to get into a relationship with someone else and plan to cheat on them just because YOU want to have it both ways.
@@durpasaur3052 It's immature.. You'll grow up one day. I would know because I used to do that and it got me literally no where. Always worst off after the act.
I agree with the car anaolgy completely. Relationships are a system. Its complex and the parts all work in different ways to function, but not every single part is as "important" as any other part. For example, which is more inportant the brain or the heart? It doesnt really matter. They are both essential.
The car analogy was a good analogy, but she won that point by saying “but if she gets cancer you won’t care about the sexual compatibility anymore, because health is actually the highest priority it’s just that most of the time it doesn’t require your attention”. She’s right on that That being said this was the most brain dead conversation I’ve heard in a while 😂
@@PooeyBum11I'm not even sure what her point of contention was though, if the health and wellness of your partner is always paramount, then why is she even asking what Destiny prioritizes most? It seems like they both understand that there's a few foundational priorities that can be valued less or more over time depending on the current situation but she's still asking what the most important one is as if there's a right or wrong answer.
@@PooeyBum11but that’s not even true…would you rather be with someone who has okay health but great in bed, or with someone who has exceptional health but is terrible in bed? Most people would take the former, which according to Bella’s logic, means sex is “higher priority” than health (priorities don’t work this way)
@@PooeyBum11 depends. if youre dating somebody for a few months and then they get seriously sick its completely fine to bail. it might feel shitty but you arent married or whatever and you arent obligated to sacrifice several years of your life to care for her until she dies with having gotten almost nothing out of it yet, as harsh as this sounds.
feels like Bella is kind of insecure about someday being rejected for not being good at sex and its trying to convince herself that wanting a partner that knows what their doing is for weirdos
She’s very basic low tier intelligence and I’m surprised he eve. Entertainer this convo. It clearly evident she’s vanilla and plain in bed and has no adventurousness and is projecting to future partners to not test her and steer her suitors who are similarly vanilla her way. This isn’t rocket science. This is very simple basic observation between these two. Similarly that destiny thinks he’s so evolved and more intelligent and life experienced than everyone else, when his actual behavior of being an open relationships and sleeping with many people falls dead squarely in the square peg of biology about men sleeping around and spreading their seed for thousands of years of the history of the human species. He’s an animal just like all of us. He is no different. He’s not better than anyone else, and his literal actual behavior falls exactly in line with his point about opportunistic behaviors in that he wouldn’t have the same opportunities if he wasn’t wealthy and above average in Populus and popularity and status, so now that he has the opportunity to sleep with multiple women, he is doing what the exact basic biological function of man is supposed to do and that’s sleep around and spread your seed. he is actually basic as fuck and is not any more evolved, special, intelligent, or superior than the average man in any such way, unlike how he clearly thinks he is . This was actually too extremely basic as fuck people just having a basic conversation.
Too many deal breakers for you to not look like a psycho going over them all. You can maybe get like 3 or 4 in a natural convo(i.e. job, kids, make sure they don't stink), but most people easily have like 20+ deal breakers that are just gonna take time to learn as you explore the relationship.
@@note4note804 Nah. You don’t need to explore to figure it out. You have deal breakers to ween incompatible people out in the first place so you won’t end up making demands and getting crushed later.
I can never tell if she's trolling or actually that dumb, the car wheel analogy was good demonstration that you need all cogs for the relationship to work and you can't really put more or less importance on one thing, because any of them missing would be a deal breaker.
@@GritWithKai Yeah that was when I started getting frustrated, when her only response to the car analogy was "well relationships are far more complex than cars." I cracked up everytime Destiny said the most clear and basic statement ever, I would look over to see why there was a long pause in the convo, and would just see her face completely dumbfounded and shocked.
@@Nightknight1992 yeah, idk wtf is going on in her head, she waits at least a year to have a talk about kids? that's one of the easiest talks to have. Had that talk with my ex on like week 1 or 2 and with my fiancee I had it like day 3 or 4 of when we started dating. I find it unreal that someone doesn't understand how a person could be unhappy in a relationship when sex is not that great, but I think it comes back to being a shy, introverted ass hole in relationships who can't speak up about their issues. You'd think once honeymoon phase is over that would become a more noticeable issue and you'd bring it up, but my assumption is some people don't because they're too afraid of being alone or something. Imo those relationships don't last long term, people like her just waste time, that shit should be criminal.
@@GritWithKaiI think her point was that educating someone you truly care about and is ostensibly competent is an easier path than eithe changing your perception or modulating the appearance of someone you’re not physically attracted to. I’m not there in this convo yet but it’s probably her just getting stuck on a point he’s already acknowledged while hinting at something else he disagrees with
The cognitive dissonance of this girl is wild. I could literally see the hamster wheel turning as she tried to figure out how not to get caught in hypocrisy.
But at least she has massive jugs and filled lips. Ugh, why there were those plastic... girls? It looked like they were contesting which one has more cleavage and tighter shirt. Never mind the arguments, LOL.
"I think it's really weird to compare a car to a relationship" aka her IQ is too low to understand analogies. The 'right front tire not being more important than the left one' was perfectly illustrative of what he was trying to say. Idk where he finds these people
@@Jake38nineso destiny who perfectly was able to frame her position vs the girl who had to reframe everything destiny said couldn't grasp just because something is a "deal breaker" doesn't make it the most important or only important thing in a relationship, claims wanting children is one of the top important things to her but would date someone for a year before even bringing it up along with all the other supposed mega important things. Ok buddy
Bellarama is interesting just because she takes the "general public" position and has done 0 introspection. So it's basically just Destiny addressing traditional societal norms
When I was a kid, I would use these types of semantic and technical arguments to win. As I became an adult, I realized life isn't like that. My daughter is just now understanding that semantically & technically one can be right but in actuality, in life one can be wrong. I'm almost 50 and I still argue this way when I'm trying to manipulate or I just want to win. If I'm using these types of arguments, then I likely don't have much respect for that person. I'm not saying she doesn't respect him. I am gonna say she's not good at this type of argument bc she keeps moving the goal post and refuses to admit any time he has a point. Her dismissing his car example shows that Does she have a crush on him?
No she’s right about that. Vanilla sex can be extremely sociopathic and dangerous where as most kink people are doing forced theatrics or novelty for the sake of it
@@off6848 How in the fuck is Vanilla Sex possible to be Sociopathic out of everything, blud you're describing Rpe jesus christ. Also kinks are faaar more Hardcore, especially if done in improper ways. It's got shit all to do with "novelty", unless you're literally posing
Damn, me and my fiancée had the wanting kids, how many, etc. within like first 4 days of dating. Even the girlfriend I had before my fiancée, I had the kids talk in maybe the first 2-3 weeks. It's crazy to think that there's people like Bellarama who will wait at least a year or two before talking about that type of stuff. Talking about wanting kids, how many, how long down the line is literally the easiest conversation to have ftom my experience, but maybe that's because of the types of women I usually go for, my ex was a primary school teacher and my fiancée is working on becoming a midwife and she generally loves being around kids.
The ranking part feels like a hospital vs gym mismatch. Dealbreakers are a requirement or the relationship is dead but you need more than agreement on dealbreakers to have a thriving relationship.
The ranking aspects of a relationship to what Destiny considered dealbreakers felt like a situation of "On a scale of 1 to 10, how important is having kids" "Yes"
When asked what she ranks highest, she didn't include being alive, being human, and stuff like that, and etc. Does that mean she'd rather be in a relationship with a dead dog as long as she could adopt than a living human who won't have kids? I'd bet having kids is actually way down on her priority list once she includes whether or not the person is less than 90, whether they're over 18, number of chromosomes, not in a vegetative state, not in a coma, not a conjoined twin, and stuff like that.
@@pedantechTo your point her top 5 was silly and a useless list in making a relationship work. That's something you can discuss on the first date and THEN determine things that are actually important to you creating a healthy relationship.
@@Kefka2010 I was also trying to demonstrate that Destiny was right about the difference between priorities and deal breakers. The things I listed are ridiculous as priorities for anyone else, but by her definition they have to be near the top of priorities.
The car analogy made so much sense, it was weird that she thought it was so weird. I've heard this a lot, where some people will say "you're comparing this to that" like "you're comparing cars to a relationship" and yeah there are comparisons that don't work and don't make sense, but I see some people fail to get really simple, straightforward analogies like this all the time. It's like they don't understand that not everything about the things you're comparing have to be identical. All the wheels of the car are needed to make it work. No one wheel is more important than the others. Multiple facets of a relationship can be important without any one being more (or greatly more) important than the others. Those are all that need to be in common for the analogy to work. It's a really simple analogy. I don't want to assume or imply anything, I don't want to assume somebody is stupid because they don't get analogies but it's just strange to me and I've seen more and more people like this lately. It's kind of like the Aphantasia thing - I can't imagine what it's like to think as someone that can't rotate an apple in their mind. I don't know how they can have any sense of object permanence or what. I guess it's just a different way of thinking but it's very frustrating to talk to people that don't understand hypotheticals or comparisons.
Also if someone gets to the point of being about to get married and hasn't talked about whether they want to have kids, idk what to tell you. That couple's just stupid lmao
“having kids is a huge priority for people in relationships” *gives an example of a woman for whom having kids not only wasn’t a dealbreakers but also she completely changed her mind on having kids*
im sorry do you honestly believe this isn't a major decision in the average relationship? Even if you don't want kids its a huge discussion you need to have getting into any relationship.
@@bentoomet8805 its a statement that needs no example though. "Like I knew this one guy and he said, yea totally having kids or not having kids is important in a relationship" Like what would a good enough example even look like? Literally any person on the planet should agree without needing a "good" example.
@@saltymcnaulty9927 I disagree I think there’s a very large amount of people that change what they want in a relationship wildly as it progresses. Changes in finances for one could completely dictate whether or not someone changes from not wanting to wanting. I know tons of women who also say they don’t want kids growing up and then when they hit their mid-20’s they get an urge to have children.
This girl gives major "I wanna change Destiny so he's compatible with me" vibes. Cause I feel that a girl who had no interest in him wouldn't necessarily be so hung up on his desire to be interested in the mechanics of sex. 🙄
Why is this over 2 hrs, had this as background noise and walked away for a hr...... came back and it felt like it was the same exact point in the convo
I'm agnostic, and I have zero problem taking position in things. It's about being opened to any possibility. That being said, religion is about .001% possible.
Mainly because Bella gets a set idea of what she thinks Destiny believes in the beginning of the conversation and argues against that the entire time. Then acts extremely smug about it
I have had this playing in the background while playing a game thinking this convo had to be almost over for the last 30 minutes. I just now realized I am on 1 hr 10 minutes of a 2 hr and 13 minute video... fml
Why is it SO hard for people to be able to restate another person's viewpoint? She was asked at least a couple times to restate what Destiny said, and was incapable of doing so. Another really frustrating debate where Destiny has to hand hold his guest the whole time.
What is it with women and an inability to grasp/understand analogies. Is it a debate tactic? or just an innate difficulty Its like because a woman must always have a conversation directly relate back to her that she cannot wrestle with a conversation relating back to a foreign hypothetical. It seems like Destiny would have had better luck saying "priorities are in tiers" where S tiers are Health/Well being, sexual capability, reproductive capability etc etc
The idea that you HAVE to make a firm decision on whether or not you wanna have kids by your early twenties is absolutely crazy to me. People change careers, partners and even hobbies at this time of life and that's perfectly natural. NO one is the exact same person throughout their life especially at that point
Some people want to raise a child up to adulthood while they are young enough to be fully invested in their life. I know some people who had really old parents and they felt they missed out on a lot because their parents were too old to do physical activities with them growing up. So, they made a choice to have a kid when they are young, so they have all the energy and physical capability to be there for any activity their child wants to do.
@@SubzeroBlack68That's fine...but her point was making it a requirement when you have more in common with high school children than the adult world is nuts.
@@Kefka2010 I don't think it's crazy because the answer for most people is a definite "Yes" and if it's "No" or "Unsure" many people would end the relationship. If you're only looking for serious relationships who would want to burn their early 20s with someone who they won't spend the rest of their life with? Who wants to have to find a new relationship and spend even more time with them to see if they're right for them later in life when there's more pressure and a time limit on kids?
@@user-lh7mt7zo7l I disagree, I believe it's rare to find someone who wants kids in short order in their late teens or early 20s. First time mothers average 27 years old. That makes a lot more sense than someone being 20 or 21 and wanting kids immediately. Most people would probably feel how I felt when I was that age. You don't want kids now but you're open to the idea that that may change.
@@user-lh7mt7zo7l Also, what's with people thinking relationships that end are a "waste"? I never understood that. I've had multiple relationships and I'm even divorced and I don't look at my past relationships as a waste. I had some great relationships with wonderful women...why would that be a waste? I grew a lot, became a better person and had some fun years. I always felt it was weird of people to believe any relationship that doesn't outlast you is a waste.
She's in her "i also have a brain" phase. Unfortunately she's intellectually unbearable, her points are weak and she's not a good debater at all. She's going to do great among simps tough.
I feel like the priority discussion could have easily be resolved by introducing severity to the equation. Sure hygiene is a huge priority, but its a low severity. From development, a typo in the logo is a huge priority to fix but it's not a show stopper. There could be a situation where something his high severity but a low priority.
Yeah, there was a communication break there. They're saying deal breakers are unimportant to them in deciding a partner but are a basic requirement that must be met. For example, I'm never dating a child but there's no value that you gain from simply being an adult. Deal breakers are generally always negative traits (to you) you don't want to deal with. They don't offer and positives to the relationship by not having them. She didn't seem to understand that concept.
I think this is a fine conversation to have, but I hate when people do the fake nice voice and fake kindness and fake laughter that’s meant to come off as demeaning. I know they do it to try and annoy the other person. Also, the car example did a fine job of simplifying that multiple things can be equally important for a relationship to work. I think she was just disagreeing to disagree, which is what most of this felt like
I wish someone will ask her to rank the people in her life. And if she places her mother number one and her father number two, does that mean she doesn’t give a rip about her father? Does that mean she would rather have her father die, and her mother live because of her ranking system?relationships have nothing to do with ranking. It’s so frustrating to keep hearing about priorities and ranking.
All her examples were antidotal and that's okay but when Destiny uses his experiences she's like your wrong woman want this etc etc.....she just has to be right lol
Nice how none of them ever mention a person's personality having any value. It really is just a list that needs to be checked off and you'll get dumped if you don't meet certain criteria even if you are great to be around. That's why you have to hold off asking the big deal-breaking questions as long as possible. The end will come, it's just how long you can fake it to enjoy the relationship before it does.
I love it when Destiny comes in and shatters the immersion of these LARPer intellectuals. Its like when the football team comes across a bunch of geeks playfighting with their swords in the woods and then emotionally scar them for the rest of their lives as punishment.
Or if I would be trying to learn how to be mostly annoying while pretending to be a win for a discussion. Her questions are a special kind of precious.
Bella is just one of those people who it's pointless to argue with because she will never be capable of understanding even some of the simplest concepts because she's not capable of looking at the meaning of a word outside of her definition.
3:11 As someone who has casual sex more often than relationship sex, it’s just to get it on. It’s not about being able to have sex, or increasing body count, I just get horned up sometimes but don’t want the baggage of a relationship 5:41 This hit too deep 55:31 Mel was Agnostic confirmed. You’re still thinking about her lil bro, it’s okay
@@aaronyayger I was joking implying I was on multiple divorces, as far as I know he only had one. There is no greater point, you take things too seriously
in my opinion, and I believe the research as back this up. Young man trying to attain a high body count is them seeking status in the male dominance hierarchy, which gives him greater access to high-quality women, because inexperienced/younger women usually use their perception of the male hierarchy to judge the quality of a potential mates. Although this effect drops significantly as a woman gains experience/ages. Mature man who have status, really do not behave like this. If cheating occurs it's usually a result of disparate sex drives between the partners... and/or relationship problems...
i’m losing my mind listening to her move the goalpost over and over and just not have a basic understanding of even what she’s saying “i’m getting confused” yeah we can tell
This girl looks and talks like a little baby. What could she really know about relationships? Banging away in the internet isn't a relationship. Destiny isn't much better. They seem like they have really superficial connections in their own partnerships.
I seriously cant believe people are not having the "kid" conversation until 3-6 months or more into a relationship. Thats probably the one thing theres just no compromising on. I always brought it up on the first or second date if i didnt already know ahead of time.
All thing considered, i actually really enjoyed this debate, not the most informative thing but fun enough to listen to while i am doing other stuff, i like relationship/sex related talk when both people don't have a specific agenda to push and are instead talking normally and giving opinions
Thank you, destiny. I have once again listened to one of the most braindead and worst conversations of all time, for no reason whatsoever, knew none of the context behind it, and really enjoyed it. Good job. Keep at it.
Those are his best videos, I swear.
Thanks Leonardo, you have gave me a lot to think about
Yea I gotta stop wasting my time w this crap
This should be shown to dumb kids out there thinking a poly lifestyle sounds cool.
You watched 2 hours of content you hated, and it's Destiny's fault? lol
Waiting a whole year after dating someone before telling them your deal breakers is insane 😞
Well its not inconceivable. I'll give you an example, highschool sweethearts. Would you expect teenagers to be certain they want children? Or even think to have that conversation? They get older and get engaged but never have the talk about children, but then it turns out one of them doesn't actually want children.
@@jorgeyportlythis never happens in real life. Young people don’t get engaged then find out their partner doesn’t want children, this is crazy to me and I’m in my early 20s. Even for high schoolers, they constantly talk to each other.
Good for me. I can get it in before she realizes she hates me
@@jorgeyportlysounds like they won't be sweethearts for long if they can't work that one out. But I don't think anyone bases their understanding of relationships off of what high schoolers are capable of.
@@jamesf4423 it does, maybe when you grow up you realize you dont want kids, or that you do want kids asap. i dont think ive talked with my first girlfriend about absolutely anything serious other than our current plans since we were 15 year old kids...
That woman did not know what they were even arguing about for a single second, impressive.
I mean what did you expect. It’s Bella. She loves to argue just to argue for that screen time.
According to Bella’s logic, wiping your ass is the single biggest priority in finding a mate, since none of us would be with a partner that doesn’t wipe their ass!
And yet better content than half of his orbiters.
She's one of the most intelligent people i've seen on destinys stream too be honest
She doesn’t understand the conversation and what deal breaker means. Deal breakers are minimum requirements. The point is when youre choosing your partner, youre not chosing people on minimum requirements because its assumed that by that point everyone youre deciding on already meets minimum requirements. You’re now choosing beyond your minimum requirements
The thing about 50 shades of grey is ABSOLUTELY FUCKING INSANE.
Like it is literally canon, that Christian Grey is a bad Dom, because he DOESN'T do aftercare and such and wants to hurt women who look like his mom.
Anna literally breaks down crying multiple times in the book and breaks up with him after he ignores her safe word and leaves her afterwards.
50 shades of grey has nothing to do with kink and everything to do with an abusive relationship.
Oh damn! I have heard that before but completely forgot about it - I was still hung up on her thinking that BDSM from a woman’s perspective is less hardcore than missionary from a man’s perspective 🤣 absolutely bonkers
And woman love watching and reading that shit.
Along with the Netflix 28 days or whatever it's called where the woman is literally a kidnap victim
Dude, this "Abuse" thing is really annoying.
Everything is "Abusd".
I think Work & Taxes are the epitome of Abuse.
I believe I have an extremely abusive relationship with DMV & Police & Employers & ...
Nobody gives crap about my "safe words".
@@bestdjaf7499 you good m8?
@@maxwellsdemon10
But you see my point.
Nobody cares, if I have to work for 12 hours & pay like 30-40% tax.
Cant claim PTSD on Taxes. They will send me to jail.
But a bad date or someone said something, now is the end of the world.
And I've notice that nobody even cares about child abuse.
Otherwise we wouldn't allow every idiot to have 10 children.
No excuse for cheating.. Either play the field or stay with the one you are with.
Pretty much this. There is no excuse. If you are unhappy, find a way to make it work or leave. If you are incapable of being faithful, you a deeply selfish to get into a relationship with someone else and plan to cheat on them just because YOU want to have it both ways.
Just cheat, its exciting
@@durpasaur3052 so is losing your long term partner because you were too mentally weak to resist the most basic temptations.
@@durpasaur3052 It's immature.. You'll grow up one day. I would know because I used to do that and it got me literally no where. Always worst off after the act.
Brave take
It always feels like these relationship experts have never actually been in a relationship.
This girl is a "relationship expert"? That can't be true. I thought she was just a college girl who hadn't been in a relationship before.
No they’re just attractive chicks so they don’t need to develop critical thinking.
She's a sex worker lol
Bella: “I agree…” > Goes on to say the complete opposite of the thing she apparently ‘agrees’ with.
I agree with the car anaolgy completely. Relationships are a system. Its complex and the parts all work in different ways to function, but not every single part is as "important" as any other part. For example, which is more inportant the brain or the heart? It doesnt really matter. They are both essential.
The car analogy was a good analogy, but she won that point by saying “but if she gets cancer you won’t care about the sexual compatibility anymore, because health is actually the highest priority it’s just that most of the time it doesn’t require your attention”. She’s right on that
That being said this was the most brain dead conversation I’ve heard in a while 😂
@@PooeyBum11I'm not even sure what her point of contention was though, if the health and wellness of your partner is always paramount, then why is she even asking what Destiny prioritizes most? It seems like they both understand that there's a few foundational priorities that can be valued less or more over time depending on the current situation but she's still asking what the most important one is as if there's a right or wrong answer.
@@PooeyBum11but that’s not even true…would you rather be with someone who has okay health but great in bed, or with someone who has exceptional health but is terrible in bed? Most people would take the former, which according to Bella’s logic, means sex is “higher priority” than health (priorities don’t work this way)
@@PooeyBum11If one of your tires blows, it doesn't matter which, you are in trouble.
@@PooeyBum11 depends. if youre dating somebody for a few months and then they get seriously sick its completely fine to bail. it might feel shitty but you arent married or whatever and you arent obligated to sacrifice several years of your life to care for her until she dies with having gotten almost nothing out of it yet, as harsh as this sounds.
feels like Bella is kind of insecure about someday being rejected for not being good at sex and its trying to convince herself that wanting a partner that knows what their doing is for weirdos
She’s very basic low tier intelligence and I’m surprised he eve. Entertainer this convo. It clearly evident she’s vanilla and plain in bed and has no adventurousness and is projecting to future partners to not test her and steer her suitors who are similarly vanilla her way. This isn’t rocket science. This is very simple basic observation between these two. Similarly that destiny thinks he’s so evolved and more intelligent and life experienced than everyone else, when his actual behavior of being an open relationships and sleeping with many people falls dead squarely in the square peg of biology about men sleeping around and spreading their seed for thousands of years of the history of the human species. He’s an animal just like all of us. He is no different. He’s not better than anyone else, and his literal actual behavior falls exactly in line with his point about opportunistic behaviors in that he wouldn’t have the same opportunities if he wasn’t wealthy and above average in Populus and popularity and status, so now that he has the opportunity to sleep with multiple women, he is doing what the exact basic biological function of man is supposed to do and that’s sleep around and spread your seed. he is actually basic as fuck and is not any more evolved, special, intelligent, or superior than the average man in any such way, unlike how he clearly thinks he is . This was actually too extremely basic as fuck people just having a basic conversation.
Not discussing deal breakers on the first date is literally insane to me
Yessss!
I thought people went down the list from kids, faith, career, to even favorite color
@@xxghastlytonerxx they should. Saves everyone involved a whole lot of time, effort, and money to get those out of the way.
Too many deal breakers for you to not look like a psycho going over them all. You can maybe get like 3 or 4 in a natural convo(i.e. job, kids, make sure they don't stink), but most people easily have like 20+ deal breakers that are just gonna take time to learn as you explore the relationship.
@@note4note804 Nah. You don’t need to explore to figure it out. You have deal breakers to ween incompatible people out in the first place so you won’t end up making demands and getting crushed later.
She keeps saying the same thing he's saying but saying it in a tone like she's disagreeing it's driving me crazy lol
Exactly lol
Just like That Katy
Cleaning a cottage and listening to this, and she made me scream in real life way too much
"Don't you want a 10 that you can sexually educate?" Bella is coping hard...
I can never tell if she's trolling or actually that dumb, the car wheel analogy was good demonstration that you need all cogs for the relationship to work and you can't really put more or less importance on one thing, because any of them missing would be a deal breaker.
@@GritWithKai Yeah that was when I started getting frustrated, when her only response to the car analogy was "well relationships are far more complex than cars."
I cracked up everytime Destiny said the most clear and basic statement ever, I would look over to see why there was a long pause in the convo, and would just see her face completely dumbfounded and shocked.
@@GritWithKai that broke my brain. she cant fathom several things leading to the same outcome, no matter their level of importance.
@@Nightknight1992 yeah, idk wtf is going on in her head, she waits at least a year to have a talk about kids? that's one of the easiest talks to have. Had that talk with my ex on like week 1 or 2 and with my fiancee I had it like day 3 or 4 of when we started dating.
I find it unreal that someone doesn't understand how a person could be unhappy in a relationship when sex is not that great, but I think it comes back to being a shy, introverted ass hole in relationships who can't speak up about their issues.
You'd think once honeymoon phase is over that would become a more noticeable issue and you'd bring it up, but my assumption is some people don't because they're too afraid of being alone or something. Imo those relationships don't last long term, people like her just waste time, that shit should be criminal.
@@GritWithKaiI think her point was that educating someone you truly care about and is ostensibly competent is an easier path than eithe changing your perception or modulating the appearance of someone you’re not physically attracted to.
I’m not there in this convo yet but it’s probably her just getting stuck on a point he’s already acknowledged while hinting at something else he disagrees with
Bella can't understand why Fifty Shades of Grey is hardcore, because the idea of constantly gasping for air is what she experiences just by talking.
The cognitive dissonance of this girl is wild. I could literally see the hamster wheel turning as she tried to figure out how not to get caught in hypocrisy.
But at least she has massive jugs and filled lips. Ugh, why there were those plastic... girls? It looked like they were contesting which one has more cleavage and tighter shirt. Never mind the arguments, LOL.
"I think it's really weird to compare a car to a relationship" aka her IQ is too low to understand analogies. The 'right front tire not being more important than the left one' was perfectly illustrative of what he was trying to say. Idk where he finds these people
The cognitive distance is coming from Destiny. If you didn't see the hamster wheel turning in his head, then you're a simp and biased.
@@Jake38nine you got a specific example or
@@Jake38nineso destiny who perfectly was able to frame her position vs the girl who had to reframe everything destiny said couldn't grasp just because something is a "deal breaker" doesn't make it the most important or only important thing in a relationship, claims wanting children is one of the top important things to her but would date someone for a year before even bringing it up along with all the other supposed mega important things.
Ok buddy
Bellarama is interesting just because she takes the "general public" position and has done 0 introspection. So it's basically just Destiny addressing traditional societal norms
I feel like she does the general public position without actually being part of the general public or understanding it...
I feel Bella actually hasn't dated much but instead just hooked up with people.
I don’t even think she’s hooked up with many people. I think she has very low sexual and relationship experience
as long as " the emotional connection " is there lol
People are just realizing Destiny's a nympho?
I think people who dont buy into his reasonings for sleeping with multiple women know he's one.
When I was a kid, I would use these types of semantic and technical arguments to win. As I became an adult, I realized life isn't like that. My daughter is just now understanding that semantically & technically one can be right but in actuality, in life one can be wrong. I'm almost 50 and I still argue this way when I'm trying to manipulate or I just want to win. If I'm using these types of arguments, then I likely don't have much respect for that person.
I'm not saying she doesn't respect him. I am gonna say she's not good at this type of argument bc she keeps moving the goal post and refuses to admit any time he has a point. Her dismissing his car example shows that
Does she have a crush on him?
Yes
I think she does
Definitely.
I watched this live, i was screaming in my car for you to kick her off, I can't STAND this woman
You know she is simply arguing to be right rather than to seek truth when she says vanilla sex is more hardcore than 50 Shades of Grey BDSM. 😂
She’s just trying to justify being lame and unoriginal and boring in bed. Nothing more.
No she’s right about that. Vanilla sex can be extremely sociopathic and dangerous where as most kink people are doing forced theatrics or novelty for the sake of it
@@off6848 BDSM is about power and control. It’s not for theatrics.
@@off6848 How in the fuck is Vanilla Sex possible to be Sociopathic out of everything, blud you're describing Rpe jesus christ.
Also kinks are faaar more Hardcore, especially if done in improper ways. It's got shit all to do with "novelty", unless you're literally posing
I appreciate the timing & placing on the ending turning into the thumbnail. Props
Damn, me and my fiancée had the wanting kids, how many, etc. within like first 4 days of dating. Even the girlfriend I had before my fiancée, I had the kids talk in maybe the first 2-3 weeks. It's crazy to think that there's people like Bellarama who will wait at least a year or two before talking about that type of stuff. Talking about wanting kids, how many, how long down the line is literally the easiest conversation to have ftom my experience, but maybe that's because of the types of women I usually go for, my ex was a primary school teacher and my fiancée is working on becoming a midwife and she generally loves being around kids.
The whole dealbreaker mental gymnastics thing is crazy to me.
The ranking part feels like a hospital vs gym mismatch. Dealbreakers are a requirement or the relationship is dead but you need more than agreement on dealbreakers to have a thriving relationship.
Yeah, being alive is super important for the relationship but just being alive won't make your relationship thrive.
Man both of their entire personalities are nearly falling out of their tops
Juggz!
The ranking aspects of a relationship to what Destiny considered dealbreakers felt like a situation of
"On a scale of 1 to 10, how important is having kids"
"Yes"
When asked what she ranks highest, she didn't include being alive, being human, and stuff like that, and etc. Does that mean she'd rather be in a relationship with a dead dog as long as she could adopt than a living human who won't have kids? I'd bet having kids is actually way down on her priority list once she includes whether or not the person is less than 90, whether they're over 18, number of chromosomes, not in a vegetative state, not in a coma, not a conjoined twin, and stuff like that.
@@pedantechTo your point her top 5 was silly and a useless list in making a relationship work. That's something you can discuss on the first date and THEN determine things that are actually important to you creating a healthy relationship.
@@Kefka2010 I was also trying to demonstrate that Destiny was right about the difference between priorities and deal breakers. The things I listed are ridiculous as priorities for anyone else, but by her definition they have to be near the top of priorities.
@@pedantech I agree
Cat ears has the worst trait of all. That being I have to be right and I know I am right syndrome.
A plastic girl, who is not just the looks but is actually "smart".
She’s got the worst mindset towards what a good relationship should look like.
So does Destiny tbf.
@@gabrielordonez8011 In a way yeah
Should have said there's an expected baseline for a partner instead of "Deal Breaker"
The baseline is the deal-breaker they're the same thing that's why they keep going in circles
The car analogy made so much sense, it was weird that she thought it was so weird. I've heard this a lot, where some people will say "you're comparing this to that" like "you're comparing cars to a relationship" and yeah there are comparisons that don't work and don't make sense, but I see some people fail to get really simple, straightforward analogies like this all the time. It's like they don't understand that not everything about the things you're comparing have to be identical. All the wheels of the car are needed to make it work. No one wheel is more important than the others. Multiple facets of a relationship can be important without any one being more (or greatly more) important than the others. Those are all that need to be in common for the analogy to work. It's a really simple analogy.
I don't want to assume or imply anything, I don't want to assume somebody is stupid because they don't get analogies but it's just strange to me and I've seen more and more people like this lately. It's kind of like the Aphantasia thing - I can't imagine what it's like to think as someone that can't rotate an apple in their mind. I don't know how they can have any sense of object permanence or what. I guess it's just a different way of thinking but it's very frustrating to talk to people that don't understand hypotheticals or comparisons.
Also if someone gets to the point of being about to get married and hasn't talked about whether they want to have kids, idk what to tell you. That couple's just stupid lmao
“having kids is a huge priority for people in relationships”
*gives an example of a woman for whom having kids not only wasn’t a dealbreakers but also she completely changed her mind on having kids*
im sorry do you honestly believe this isn't a major decision in the average relationship? Even if you don't want kids its a huge discussion you need to have getting into any relationship.
@@saltymcnaulty9927it is but that’s not the point. The point was how she used a terrible example.
@@bentoomet8805 its a statement that needs no example though. "Like I knew this one guy and he said, yea totally having kids or not having kids is important in a relationship" Like what would a good enough example even look like? Literally any person on the planet should agree without needing a "good" example.
@@saltymcnaulty9927 I guarantee the majority of people will change their minds, often more than once, about whether they want to have kids.
@@saltymcnaulty9927 I disagree I think there’s a very large amount of people that change what they want in a relationship wildly as it progresses. Changes in finances for one could completely dictate whether or not someone changes from not wanting to wanting. I know tons of women who also say they don’t want kids growing up and then when they hit their mid-20’s they get an urge to have children.
Had never seen someone say that's my point so much, while also not making any points
This girl gives major "I wanna change Destiny so he's compatible with me" vibes.
Cause I feel that a girl who had no interest in him wouldn't necessarily be so hung up on his desire to be interested in the mechanics of sex. 🙄
No she was exposing him. None these girls want ur face or his.😂😂
Why is this over 2 hrs, had this as background noise and walked away for a hr...... came back and it felt like it was the same exact point in the convo
I'm agnostic, and I have zero problem taking position in things. It's about being opened to any possibility. That being said, religion is about .001% possible.
The inability to engage with a hypothetical/comparison is a red flag
This convo should’ve gone on the main channel August 😐
First hour could have been explained in two words: filter vs sort.
These guys are talking past each other.
usually how convos with bella go. i just certain points see if i agree with them or not and just do that.
Mainly because Bella gets a set idea of what she thinks Destiny believes in the beginning of the conversation and argues against that the entire time. Then acts extremely smug about it
The "Destiny AKA Steven" line was really funny actually.
I have had this playing in the background while playing a game thinking this convo had to be almost over for the last 30 minutes. I just now realized I am on 1 hr 10 minutes of a 2 hr and 13 minute video... fml
The most circular conversation.
Imagine only asking AFTER you get engaged if you wanna have kids.
Why is it SO hard for people to be able to restate another person's viewpoint?
She was asked at least a couple times to restate what Destiny said, and was incapable of doing so.
Another really frustrating debate where Destiny has to hand hold his guest the whole time.
That romantic intimacy comment about the abuser cracking his knuckles across her face was wild! Loved it!
The Problem was that Destiny meant it is an integral part and Bella didn’t see it that way. She was like: Meh. I‘m ok if it’s not good.
24:24 "you know what a car is, right?" lmao
What is it with women and an inability to grasp/understand analogies.
Is it a debate tactic? or just an innate difficulty
Its like because a woman must always have a conversation directly relate back to her that she cannot wrestle with a conversation relating back to a foreign hypothetical.
It seems like Destiny would have had better luck saying "priorities are in tiers" where S tiers are Health/Well being, sexual capability, reproductive capability etc etc
I find it hard to take anyone seriously who wears headphones with ears on them.
Incel
There is no body, not her mother, not her biggest fan, nobody who takes her seriously
If this girl says "and stuff like that" one more time I'ma lose my everloving MIND.
I have no idea what she was arguing the whole time 😂
Anyone else have "I disagree with you" on their bingo cards?
"You don't think they can be educated ?" sounds so creepy
The idea that you HAVE to make a firm decision on whether or not you wanna have kids by your early twenties is absolutely crazy to me. People change careers, partners and even hobbies at this time of life and that's perfectly natural. NO one is the exact same person throughout their life especially at that point
Some people want to raise a child up to adulthood while they are young enough to be fully invested in their life. I know some people who had really old parents and they felt they missed out on a lot because their parents were too old to do physical activities with them growing up. So, they made a choice to have a kid when they are young, so they have all the energy and physical capability to be there for any activity their child wants to do.
@@SubzeroBlack68That's fine...but her point was making it a requirement when you have more in common with high school children than the adult world is nuts.
@@Kefka2010 I don't think it's crazy because the answer for most people is a definite "Yes" and if it's "No" or "Unsure" many people would end the relationship. If you're only looking for serious relationships who would want to burn their early 20s with someone who they won't spend the rest of their life with? Who wants to have to find a new relationship and spend even more time with them to see if they're right for them later in life when there's more pressure and a time limit on kids?
@@user-lh7mt7zo7l I disagree, I believe it's rare to find someone who wants kids in short order in their late teens or early 20s. First time mothers average 27 years old. That makes a lot more sense than someone being 20 or 21 and wanting kids immediately.
Most people would probably feel how I felt when I was that age. You don't want kids now but you're open to the idea that that may change.
@@user-lh7mt7zo7l Also, what's with people thinking relationships that end are a "waste"? I never understood that. I've had multiple relationships and I'm even divorced and I don't look at my past relationships as a waste. I had some great relationships with wonderful women...why would that be a waste? I grew a lot, became a better person and had some fun years. I always felt it was weird of people to believe any relationship that doesn't outlast you is a waste.
1000% disagree that women's love last longer lol that's just wild
I'm mad she used all of the 1 hr really as a prelude for her real issue which is just with Destiny's relationship style
She's in her "i also have a brain" phase. Unfortunately she's intellectually unbearable, her points are weak and she's not a good debater at all. She's going to do great among simps tough.
I left this video with less brain cells than i started with. sick
I feel like the priority discussion could have easily be resolved by introducing severity to the equation. Sure hygiene is a huge priority, but its a low severity. From development, a typo in the logo is a huge priority to fix but it's not a show stopper. There could be a situation where something his high severity but a low priority.
Yeah, there was a communication break there. They're saying deal breakers are unimportant to them in deciding a partner but are a basic requirement that must be met. For example, I'm never dating a child but there's no value that you gain from simply being an adult. Deal breakers are generally always negative traits (to you) you don't want to deal with. They don't offer and positives to the relationship by not having them.
She didn't seem to understand that concept.
Btw, i don't believe that girl EVER touched 50 Shades of Grey. Nothing she said was accurate to Christian Grey as a character whatsoever.
I think this is a fine conversation to have, but I hate when people do the fake nice voice and fake kindness and fake laughter that’s meant to come off as demeaning. I know they do it to try and annoy the other person.
Also, the car example did a fine job of simplifying that multiple things can be equally important for a relationship to work. I think she was just disagreeing to disagree, which is what most of this felt like
I wish someone will ask her to rank the people in her life. And if she places her mother number one and her father number two, does that mean she doesn’t give a rip about her father? Does that mean she would rather have her father die, and her mother live because of her ranking system?relationships have nothing to do with ranking. It’s so frustrating to keep hearing about priorities and ranking.
😂 1:29:30 This chick is super insecure and loves to project
Destiny has me dying this whole conversation😂🤣
All her examples were antidotal and that's okay but when Destiny uses his experiences she's like your wrong woman want this etc etc.....she just has to be right lol
At around 46 mins this went from what I felt was 2 people not understanding each other to this girl has a really hard time understanding anything.
Why did she go from no accent to almost soviet Russia in less than 2 minutes? 😂 I'm so confused.
This would have been more bearable as a 1 on 1 I feel like Ana, at multiple times, completely derailed Destiny digging into a point
Yup, just another one of destiny's toys bumbling their way thru a sentence just to ultimately say nothing
@@Skyward8 well they said "You're moving the goalpost" a lot lmao. I'm sure that felt like something to them
Nice how none of them ever mention a person's personality having any value. It really is just a list that needs to be checked off and you'll get dumped if you don't meet certain criteria even if you are great to be around. That's why you have to hold off asking the big deal-breaking questions as long as possible. The end will come, it's just how long you can fake it to enjoy the relationship before it does.
Her claim that women fall out of love less often is contradicted completely by women imitation of divorce the vast majority of the time.
I don't think Bella knows that what she is describing is FWB that she developed feelings for.
I love it when Destiny comes in and shatters the immersion of these LARPer intellectuals. Its like when the football team comes across a bunch of geeks playfighting with their swords in the woods and then emotionally scar them for the rest of their lives as punishment.
Be careful, Sir Tiberius Longbottom has an 18 dex score and retard strength racial feat.
There should be a counter for whenever someone says the word, “typically……” lol
Chick with pink cat-ear headphones? Naaahh 💀 this is going to be good.
THE ENDING 😂
I listened to half of this, and I feel dumber for it.
this was excruciating
The girl destiny debated she is wrong on everything
My brain hurts
😂😂😂
Destiny is completely wrong about agnostic people.
Militant atheists are even more cringe than religious people.
But how can you be sure?
This Ana girl is a fantastic guest to have if I was at all interested in an inexperienced 21 yr olds opinion on anything. Especially relationships.
Or if I would be trying to learn how to be mostly annoying while pretending to be a win for a discussion. Her questions are a special kind of precious.
Why does everytime she goes to make a point does she sound like she’s about to start crying?
Why did August mirror Destiny's cam?
I had the child conversation before the 1st date
Destiny lost all his life saving on this debate
Bella is just one of those people who it's pointless to argue with because she will never be capable of understanding even some of the simplest concepts because she's not capable of looking at the meaning of a word outside of her definition.
3:11 As someone who has casual sex more often than relationship sex, it’s just to get it on. It’s not about being able to have sex, or increasing body count, I just get horned up sometimes but don’t want the baggage of a relationship
5:41 This hit too deep
55:31 Mel was Agnostic confirmed. You’re still thinking about her lil bro, it’s okay
"He's still thinking about his exwife after only 2 months, what a lil bro."
@@aaronyayger it hits different when you’re on your 3rd divorce ig
@@DougDimmaDab So he doesn't care now? What are you saying?
@@aaronyayger I was joking implying I was on multiple divorces, as far as I know he only had one. There is no greater point, you take things too seriously
@@DougDimmaDab
Destiny got divorced twice
in my opinion, and I believe the research as back this up. Young man trying to attain a high body count is them seeking status in the male dominance hierarchy, which gives him greater access to high-quality women, because inexperienced/younger women usually use their perception of the male hierarchy to judge the quality of a potential mates. Although this effect drops significantly as a woman gains experience/ages. Mature man who have status, really do not behave like this. If cheating occurs it's usually a result of disparate sex drives between the partners... and/or relationship problems...
i’m losing my mind listening to her move the goalpost over and over and just not have a basic understanding of even what she’s saying
“i’m getting confused” yeah we can tell
is it language barrier, or is this woman just not that smart?
Wait im so confused. Hasnt destiny constanrly made mad fun of lip fillers and said how incredibly disgusting they are??
Yeah, on multiple occasions, he said plastic lips and boobs were disgusting. If they're on a 20yo BPD girl who cares I guess.
@@TheDevo13 He's not wrong tbf. Well he's wrong about this chick I guess. But not in general, it's such a weird look.
And. Stuff. Like. That.
This feels like a debate of the shade of blue of the sky 😮
This girl looks and talks like a little baby. What could she really know about relationships? Banging away in the internet isn't a relationship. Destiny isn't much better. They seem like they have really superficial connections in their own partnerships.
TH-cam needs something like Superlikes on Tinder.
Its the smugness and the fake laughing when they think they have a good point for me.
It's something all leftists do, lmfao.
this was an excruciating watch/listen.
I think what Des said about porn is right. Porn doesn't create the issues, its the byproduct of the issues. People watch porn because issues exist.
She was trying to keep up and brought up good points
I seriously cant believe people are not having the "kid" conversation until 3-6 months or more into a relationship. Thats probably the one thing theres just no compromising on. I always brought it up on the first or second date if i didnt already know ahead of time.
Spoken like a SIMP
All thing considered, i actually really enjoyed this debate, not the most informative thing but fun enough to listen to while i am doing other stuff, i like relationship/sex related talk when both people don't have a specific agenda to push and are instead talking normally and giving opinions
Her calling melina a high value woman is hilarious 😂