I don't know if I'm the only one, but I always feel amazing during a binge. I feel completely disconnected from the world, from my life and it's a big relief. But the aftermath... well it's terrible. I just feel worthless and it's indeed one of the feeling I try to avoid at all costs!!! Thank you for putting out such quality content and good luck to anyone who is struggling😊
It’s not exactly a feeling I want to avoid, it’s failure I want to avoid. Failure is my biggest fear. I’m thankful that you asked this question because I realize that we can pass this fear onto our children
Loneliness... Food is my bestest friend. It has 'helped' me through some of the worst times in my life. It will always be there for me, even when others reject me... The ironic thing is, I am a Christian, and God says that He is there for me when I am... lonely... etc etc. Something to pray about for sure. Thank you Sarah. xo
The more I’ve pondered this question, I’ve came up with a lot, but I finally had a lightbulb moment: disappointment. I for some reason binge eat to try to avoid feeling disappointed in myself. I weigh everyday, and one of my biggest daily fears is seeing a number I don’t like. For example, nothing makes me more upset than restricting and not seeing enough of a change in my weight. Basically, I feel like when I binge, I know the scale will go up the next day, so I don’t have that nagging feeling of “what if I gain or stay the same weight?” I just know for sure and can be mentally prepared for it. But like you said, binge eating causes the disappointment. This sounds so much more messed up when I write it out, but maybe someone can relate.
hyperintention is what caused my binge eating. I wanted to lose as much weight as I could so bad, I'd restrict and then started binging and feel like a failure to the point it's a habit now and I live in a household in which I am forced to eat (not in an extreme way but still) and it puts me under pressure
I found your channel just a couple of days ago. Just wanted to share my impression. I like your gentle and caring delivering of information. I thought that for all these years of dealing with binge eating I already learnt everything about it that I could. But I was wrong, fortunately. I discovered new thoughts, new ideas and new support. So, thank you for helping people struggling with this disorder, it really matters.
The feeling I am avoiding is shame and body hate. Of course I want to change and I’m not happy with my appearance… it’s very difficult to accept myself as I am but yet be compassionate at the same time.
Wow! When you asked what I really didn't want to feel, first thing that came up was sadness. Second to that is loneliness. This makes it feel so doable! Just like in love. For me, when I stopped pursuing it, it came to me. The perfect example. Thank you for this.
I agree. These two emotions have become incredibly heightened for me due to being in the middle of a long summer holiday. I dont know what to do anymore.
Sisterly love at first sight! ❤ You are such a warm person and I really feel that you’re not just making a TH-cam video, you WANT to help people. Thank you so much for making this, it has really helped shift my thinking.
Definitely wanting to avoid feeling shame for me. It’s not as scary as you anticipate when you start to create a safe place to feel feelings! Thank you Sarah. Great reminder to keep in the habit of tuning into our own thoughts and feelings.
Usually I think I'm just trying to avoid hunger. I hate that empty feeling in my stomach. The thing is though, when I'm binging constantly I still get very hungry so it doesn't solve anything. If I'm eating an entire pizza and feeling hungry an hour later then I'm not really preventing hunger at all.
I’ve been struggling with my relationship with food, I know it’s not the easiest thing to deal with but I sure know that it’s not impossible. Im committed to stop binging and focusing on my goals. At the end of the day im supposed to control my anxious binging habits and im READY to control them, im a strong person but also there is no such thing as a strong person that gets controlled by their emotions. So im going to control my emotions instead of them controlling me. Im gonna shift my mind to a better place and not focused so much on the binging because if i do I know I’ll start to feel anxious and i don’t want that. I know im going to do it and im ready for this change in my life. Thank you everyone for reading this and im not going to let myself down.
A couple of thoughts based on things I have noticed in people struggling with this: Sometimes 'controlling emotions' looks like suppressing them and then they pop up somewhere else. Denying, ignoring or shoving down emotions can lead to more compulsive behaviours and if food is a go-to compulsive behaviour for someone it could make it worse. When I work with people on their relationship with food it invariably includes improving their relationship with their emotions too. A compulsive urge to binge (as opposed to emotional eating/craving) comes from the primal brain, which has nothing to do with being a strong person. If this part of the brain gets dysregulated it can hit you with the power of a tsunami. When the lower brain takes over like this, your prefrontal cortex goes offline and all earlier intentions are out the window. This is not being weak; it's neurobiology. If you relate to having a seemingly irrational rebel in you, attempts to control may keep triggering this part and make bingeing worse. In these cases figuring out how to tame your rebel, as opposed to controlling it, is usually the path to feeling like you are able to make free choices (instead of compulsions) around food. I want to stress that these are just a couple of things that seem to be a pattern for many people I work with. I don't want to presume this is you, but also wanted to offer it in case it was as these popped into my head when I read your comment.
@@TheBingeEatingTherapist Feeling the fat with my hands and feeling the uncomfortableness of my fat rubbing against my legs.. and feeling my roles of fat on my tummy when I sit down and how the rolls squelch and get sweaty… that is a feeling of uncomfortableness I never ever want to feel again….
Can you please talk about health anxiety and binge eating. I have it and it makes my binging worse because it’s just another layer of anxiety she stress that pushes me to binging even more.
The feeling I want to avoid is disgust with myself and with my body - feeling tingly, itchy, restless, anxious, sometimes I feel like I want to rip my skin off my body. Then the despair sets in and flashback memories float my body, and then I eat to calm myself. And then I am ashamed and feel numb and sad. That is also a paradox for me, because my body carried me through a life full of violence and trauma, and now I hate it because of the way it looks. I really hate the fear/disgust/sadness and I really want to avoid it. I just can't imagine embracing it or looking forward to it, because it is just so unbearable. It always reminds me of my deepest depression, of the times I wanted to die, of all the suffering and abuse and then my brain is flooded and completely overwhelmed and I fear that the suicidal thoughts will return or that I will have another extreme panic attack. I don't know if any of this makes sense to you 😀. I think I understand a little bit why it is so important to feel the feeling instead of trying to numb it, but I am so terrified of feeling the feeling. Do you have any tips for me how I can reduce this fear, or how I could cope in the moment without (over)eating? My previous therapists suggested that with a history like mine, binge eating is one of the things I should not worry about ("you have far bigger problems"), but I think tackling this issue could be the key to (general) recovery for me.
And thank you very very much for your content, it is absolutely helpful and amazing and you are doing a great job explaining all of these difficult topics ❤️
i suspect it’s the other way round..if u tackled the trauma then you may be able to address the bingeing next. Have you done EMDR? something to consider ❤️
Looking forward to feeling unsafe and so far away from the safe place it borders on panic? Wow that is a lot to ask! But I can definitely see the effect it could have to implement this technique (forgot the term already) ✌️
I don't know if I'm the only one, but I always feel amazing during a binge. I feel completely disconnected from the world, from my life and it's a big relief. But the aftermath... well it's terrible. I just feel worthless and it's indeed one of the feeling I try to avoid at all costs!!! Thank you for putting out such quality content and good luck to anyone who is struggling😊
It makes me feel free
Omgggg yesssss exactly!!
Yes 🙈 An escape
Hi, I’m Ariane.. I keep binge eating at night every day..& I do it constantly .. & I can’t stop it.. Any suggestions? t
Thanks, Ariane
@@ariacurtis-zg7nk🙏
It’s been about two years since I binged yes it is possible! I once couldn’t go a week without binging. I’m grateful to god and all the advice I got.
Hi i need help. How did u quit??
It’s not exactly a feeling I want to avoid, it’s failure I want to avoid. Failure is my biggest fear. I’m thankful that you asked this question because I realize that we can pass this fear onto our children
❤️🩹❤️🩹
Loneliness... Food is my bestest friend. It has 'helped' me through some of the worst times in my life. It will always be there for me, even when others reject me... The ironic thing is, I am a Christian, and God says that He is there for me when I am... lonely... etc etc. Something to pray about for sure. Thank you Sarah. xo
Same 🙏
The more I’ve pondered this question, I’ve came up with a lot, but I finally had a lightbulb moment: disappointment. I for some reason binge eat to try to avoid feeling disappointed in myself. I weigh everyday, and one of my biggest daily fears is seeing a number I don’t like. For example, nothing makes me more upset than restricting and not seeing enough of a change in my weight. Basically, I feel like when I binge, I know the scale will go up the next day, so I don’t have that nagging feeling of “what if I gain or stay the same weight?” I just know for sure and can be mentally prepared for it. But like you said, binge eating causes the disappointment. This sounds so much more messed up when I write it out, but maybe someone can relate.
hyperintention is what caused my binge eating. I wanted to lose as much weight as I could so bad, I'd restrict and then started binging and feel like a failure to the point it's a habit now and I live in a household in which I am forced to eat (not in an extreme way but still) and it puts me under pressure
I found your channel just a couple of days ago. Just wanted to share my impression. I like your gentle and caring delivering of information. I thought that for all these years of dealing with binge eating I already learnt everything about it that I could. But I was wrong, fortunately. I discovered new thoughts, new ideas and new support. So, thank you for helping people struggling with this disorder, it really matters.
Vulnerability, fear, uncertainty are the words that come to me x
The feeling I am avoiding is shame and body hate. Of course I want to change and I’m not happy with my appearance… it’s very difficult to accept myself as I am but yet be compassionate at the same time.
I do not think I could possibly Express how happy I am to have found you thank you!
Welcome! I'm glad you found me too ☺
Wow! When you asked what I really didn't want to feel, first thing that came up was sadness. Second to that is loneliness. This makes it feel so doable! Just like in love. For me, when I stopped pursuing it, it came to me. The perfect example. Thank you for this.
Glad it resonated Lorri ❤️🩹
Not over thinking this, i have to say boredom and loneliness. Been alone too long.😢
I agree. These two emotions have become incredibly heightened for me due to being in the middle of a long summer holiday. I dont know what to do anymore.
Sisterly love at first sight! ❤ You are such a warm person and I really feel that you’re not just making a TH-cam video, you WANT to help people. Thank you so much for making this, it has really helped shift my thinking.
Definitely wanting to avoid feeling shame for me. It’s not as scary as you anticipate when you start to create a safe place to feel feelings! Thank you Sarah. Great reminder to keep in the habit of tuning into our own thoughts and feelings.
Usually I think I'm just trying to avoid hunger. I hate that empty feeling in my stomach. The thing is though, when I'm binging constantly I still get very hungry so it doesn't solve anything. If I'm eating an entire pizza and feeling hungry an hour later then I'm not really preventing hunger at all.
Omg your channel is amazing ❤️thanks
I’ve been struggling with my relationship with food, I know it’s not the easiest thing to deal with but I sure know that it’s not impossible. Im committed to stop binging and focusing on my goals. At the end of the day im supposed to control my anxious binging habits and im READY to control them, im a strong person but also there is no such thing as a strong person that gets controlled by their emotions. So im going to control my emotions instead of them controlling me.
Im gonna shift my mind to a better place and not focused so much on the binging because if i do I know I’ll start to feel anxious and i don’t want that.
I know im going to do it and im ready for this change in my life. Thank you everyone for reading this and im not going to let myself down.
A couple of thoughts based on things I have noticed in people struggling with this:
Sometimes 'controlling emotions' looks like suppressing them and then they pop up somewhere else. Denying, ignoring or shoving down emotions can lead to more compulsive behaviours and if food is a go-to compulsive behaviour for someone it could make it worse. When I work with people on their relationship with food it invariably includes improving their relationship with their emotions too.
A compulsive urge to binge (as opposed to emotional eating/craving) comes from the primal brain, which has nothing to do with being a strong person. If this part of the brain gets dysregulated it can hit you with the power of a tsunami. When the lower brain takes over like this, your prefrontal cortex goes offline and all earlier intentions are out the window. This is not being weak; it's neurobiology.
If you relate to having a seemingly irrational rebel in you, attempts to control may keep triggering this part and make bingeing worse. In these cases figuring out how to tame your rebel, as opposed to controlling it, is usually the path to feeling like you are able to make free choices (instead of compulsions) around food.
I want to stress that these are just a couple of things that seem to be a pattern for many people I work with. I don't want to presume this is you, but also wanted to offer it in case it was as these popped into my head when I read your comment.
I don’t want to feel fat .. I remember what that felt like and for me I don’t ever want to feel that fat feeling ever again!!!!
Fat is something we carry on our bodies. What were the actual feelings you felt when your body was bigger than you wanted it to be? ❤️
@@TheBingeEatingTherapist Feeling the fat with my hands and feeling the uncomfortableness of my fat rubbing against my legs.. and feeling my roles of fat on my tummy when I sit down and how the rolls squelch and get sweaty… that is a feeling of uncomfortableness I never ever want to feel again….
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤😁 what a great video Sarah!!! It resonates so much. Thank for this new video with a fantastic content!!!
This is so powerful 🤩💥🎯💕!!
Thank you so much 💗
Can you please talk about health anxiety and binge eating. I have it and it makes my binging worse because it’s just another layer of anxiety she stress that pushes me to binging even more.
The feeling I want to avoid is disgust with myself and with my body - feeling tingly, itchy, restless, anxious, sometimes I feel like I want to rip my skin off my body. Then the despair sets in and flashback memories float my body, and then I eat to calm myself. And then I am ashamed and feel numb and sad. That is also a paradox for me, because my body carried me through a life full of violence and trauma, and now I hate it because of the way it looks. I really hate the fear/disgust/sadness and I really want to avoid it. I just can't imagine embracing it or looking forward to it, because it is just so unbearable. It always reminds me of my deepest depression, of the times I wanted to die, of all the suffering and abuse and then my brain is flooded and completely overwhelmed and I fear that the suicidal thoughts will return or that I will have another extreme panic attack. I don't know if any of this makes sense to you 😀. I think I understand a little bit why it is so important to feel the feeling instead of trying to numb it, but I am so terrified of feeling the feeling. Do you have any tips for me how I can reduce this fear, or how I could cope in the moment without (over)eating? My previous therapists suggested that with a history like mine, binge eating is one of the things I should not worry about ("you have far bigger problems"), but I think tackling this issue could be the key to (general) recovery for me.
And thank you very very much for your content, it is absolutely helpful and amazing and you are doing a great job explaining all of these difficult topics ❤️
i suspect it’s the other way round..if u tackled the trauma then you may be able to address the bingeing next. Have you done EMDR? something to consider ❤️
I think I’ve been in hyperintention for my entire life and I can’t get out
A good advice, thank you😘
that was Incredibly insightful. Made me love you. So I'm subbing. Thank you
Looking forward to feeling unsafe and so far away from the safe place it borders on panic? Wow that is a lot to ask! But I can definitely see the effect it could have to implement this technique (forgot the term already)
✌️
Thank you for this
thank you.
What if you don’t want to feel fat or scared about health. So fear and fat?
You are wise
Thankyou
The feeling I am trying to avoid is Emptiness 💔
same :"(
me too 😢
Feel good 🤔 does it makes Sense ?
Yes, I think it does. It’s an assumption to think we only want to avoid the “bad” feelings ❤️🩹
Emptiness
For the algo
Mine is fear. No longer a binge eater, infact I need to eat more. But I was for a long time, and fear has been a constant theme.
❤️🩹❤️🩹
Feeling inadequate
❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
REJECTION