Can you do a video specifically on what kind of boundaries are healthy and how to implement them? I need them but have no idea where to start - the last boundry we made didn't have consequences with it, so when my ws crossed the line, there was no consequences so nothing changed. No its better, i want to put new boundaries in.... but no idea how.
Dude....just wanna say,wife got news last August...so coming up on a year since "d day "YOUR blog infuriates and inspires me...NEVER MET YOU BUT,I LOVE YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE...YOU BOTH GIVE US THE STRENGTH AND WILL TO KEEP GOING!!!
I realize I have to seek therapy on my own, I'd like to do it with my partner. He just denied every single proof everything. Gaslights me about things I saw with my own two eyes 😞😞😮💨
Yes! See an experienced therapist as soon as possible. I also highly recommend the book After the Affair: a program to help you cope, heal, and move on - together or apart by Snyder, Baucom, and Gordon
So what if I’m told because I am the unfaithful, I deserve no boundaries? That my depression (diagnosed and medicated) is not relevant. At what point is it no longer my job to just take whatever she feels like saying or doing?
I get it. you are human, you have meaning and value and while you made a terrible choice, that choice has consequences, but that doesn't mean you deserve to be treated without respect. i think it takes a third party expert to get involved so they can hear it from someone else besides you that you do in fact, deserve respect and boundaries. it's tough to pull off, but the right plan and expert can help.
I feel respect for you because you are obviously trying...I mean you have been watching these videos so you are willing to try and fix things. I can assure you not everyone on the cheating side does that. That doesn't mean your partner is not entitled to his/her share of rage and resentment, however there should be understanding from both sides
Of course your depression matters. However, you lost all credibility when you were unfaithful. At least for a while, you need to let go of your privacy with phones and other devices and will need to be extremely open and honest about everything you do and everywhere you go because your partner no longer trusts you at all. Even when you say something small they doubt what you say. THAT is what your partner means by you deserve no boundaries. You HAVE to allow them to invade your life to see that you ARE being honest...that you CAN be trusted again. Depression is not an excuse to continue to shut them out of areas they very clearly no longer trust you in. Yes, you are human and you have feelings....but at the end of the day, your depression is NOTHING compared the ACTUAL trauma you have caused your partner. Trauma that will ALWAYS be with them for the rest of their life because of your choices. Your depression also is NOT an excuse for your choices and its likely triggering your partner when you bring it up because they feel like you are excusing and justifying a choice that HAS no justification...a choice that quite literally DESTROYED who they are as a person.
Thank you for explaining how I can set emotional boundaries and never would have thought that we all have to set that kind of boundaries
so glad it helped my friend. thank you for watching and commenting.
Can you do a video specifically on what kind of boundaries are healthy and how to implement them? I need them but have no idea where to start - the last boundry we made didn't have consequences with it, so when my ws crossed the line, there was no consequences so nothing changed. No its better, i want to put new boundaries in.... but no idea how.
100% responsible for 50% of the marriage 👍🏻
Dude....just wanna say,wife got news last August...so coming up on a year since "d day "YOUR blog infuriates and inspires me...NEVER MET YOU BUT,I LOVE YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE...YOU BOTH GIVE US THE STRENGTH AND WILL TO KEEP GOING!!!
I realize I have to seek therapy on my own, I'd like to do it with my partner. He just denied every single proof everything. Gaslights me about things I saw with my own two eyes 😞😞😮💨
Yes! See an experienced therapist as soon as possible. I also highly recommend the book After the Affair: a program to help you cope, heal, and move on - together or apart by Snyder, Baucom, and Gordon
So what if I’m told because I am the unfaithful, I deserve no boundaries? That my depression (diagnosed and medicated) is not relevant. At what point is it no longer my job to just take whatever she feels like saying or doing?
I get it. you are human, you have meaning and value and while you made a terrible choice, that choice has consequences, but that doesn't mean you deserve to be treated without respect. i think it takes a third party expert to get involved so they can hear it from someone else besides you that you do in fact, deserve respect and boundaries. it's tough to pull off, but the right plan and expert can help.
I feel respect for you because you are obviously trying...I mean you have been watching these videos so you are willing to try and fix things. I can assure you not everyone on the cheating side does that. That doesn't mean your partner is not entitled to his/her share of rage and resentment, however there should be understanding from both sides
Of course your depression matters. However, you lost all credibility when you were unfaithful. At least for a while, you need to let go of your privacy with phones and other devices and will need to be extremely open and honest about everything you do and everywhere you go because your partner no longer trusts you at all. Even when you say something small they doubt what you say. THAT is what your partner means by you deserve no boundaries. You HAVE to allow them to invade your life to see that you ARE being honest...that you CAN be trusted again. Depression is not an excuse to continue to shut them out of areas they very clearly no longer trust you in. Yes, you are human and you have feelings....but at the end of the day, your depression is NOTHING compared the ACTUAL trauma you have caused your partner. Trauma that will ALWAYS be with them for the rest of their life because of your choices. Your depression also is NOT an excuse for your choices and its likely triggering your partner when you bring it up because they feel like you are excusing and justifying a choice that HAS no justification...a choice that quite literally DESTROYED who they are as a person.
Thank you for this