The point that should’ve been made is that everyone has the potential to choose poorly, and that’s fine but LEARN FROM IT. For the example, with the “multi purpose product”, most females are in the situation where they realize that product is flawed but decide “fck it lets buy it again to see if it’s different the next time” and then complain about ALL CLEANING PRODUCTS when that one multipurpose product has issues. It makes literally no sense 😂, if you’re consistently picking men who have issues or things that would lead you to believe they’re garbage, all anyone is saying is take responsibility for the things you believe are initially attracting you to these types of people, and do a better job vetting the men you’re talking to. Same way for men who try to wife these Instagram models and are surprised or confused when they find out they just were wanted for their money.
That’s exactly why her analogy doesn’t really work. Like most folks when they buy something and it doesn’t work, they go “oh no, that doesn’t work, I’ll have to try something DIFFERENT next time.” But she focused on the idea that “well don’t blame me that I didn’t know it wouldn’t work if I’ve never bought it before,” which is not really the point. The point is that the benefit of leaving a bad relationship allows you the opportunity to seek out something better for yourself in the future. Just as you would if you bought a product that did not work, and you tell yourself you’ll get something better next time. The part that makes it difficult to overcome that obstacle is the idea of comfort and familiarity. Which can relate back to her trauma and Stockholm syndrome argument as to why women perpetually end up dating “bad men.” With her cleaner analogy, the argument isn’t “well I used it once and it actually ruined my stuff, and idk how that happened” it sounds more like “I mean, yea it doesn’t work as good as this other product my friend told me about, but it’s what I’ve always used. I know it only really works well in around 3/5 situations, but I mean hey 60% isn’t THAT bad. Plus it’s not like I can return it at this point, I waited too long to get a refund, and I hate to throw it away when there is still so much product left.” It’s a lot of different things that basically make is so you talk yourself into putting up with the situation you’re in for any number of reasons even if you do recognize that it really isn’t good for you. I wish she’d gone past the surface level of just “don’t blame women for choosing bad men, bad men don’t always look bad in the beginning” because if that is as far as your argument goes, then the obvious counter argument is “then just leave when you find out.” Which is also not fair, because it’s not always that simple. The argument should not be “don’t tell women to choose better men” because the reason for that is the hope that women can grow and find someone who treats them well and doesn’t hurt them. Most people who say “choose better men” aren’t trying to gaslight you. They’re just trying to get across to you that you should consider changing your standards. Because the standards some folks have pretty much exclusively attract toxic people. You can date bad men in the past, but use it as a stepping stone, not a stumbling block.
Girls: It's not my fault I picked a bad man, he hid it from me! The guy she picked: "Eyy yoo bitchh, you finee, what's yoo name sidechick?" 90% of the time, these guys aren't con artist. Learn to spot a doucheee.
Accountability is kryptonite for most women. The only constant in your failed relationships is YOU. If you keep picking garbage dudes, then don't be shocked if the relationships fail. It's like someone that keeps buying high end supercars and then complains about them not being reliable. You picked them.
@@mac1bc Men dont pick they audition then they get picked the men that ruin the community dont even have to audition they get picked off the characteristic we are complaining about. Women deny they have great power because ofc with great power there must also be great blah blah you know the rest. I know this shit seems backwards based off what we were all taught how men are the pickers but that's literally cause the patriarchy gave women very little wiggle room but women always had that power it's why so many cultures try to suppress them. Btw I ain't hating on women arousal is arousal but let's be real if women were only sexually attracted to science minded individuals we would all be in space such is the power of the devine 😺.
@@godemperorletoatreidesii6971 It ain't like that man. Most girls don't pick the obvious doucbags. They pick stand up guys with things going well for them. The girls that pick douchy guys are just douchy girls that haven't realised that they're with their own kind. There's a reason why not even the douchy guys would wife up those woman. They don't deserve good men, that's why it stings when they're told to pick better men. Because they know better men would be disgusted with them.
Married 24 years. The thought process of women is amazing. My wife will just go at a green light. Not look to see who’s coming or if traffic is stopping. Because the light was green. She’s right. What she doesn’t get is. If she gets into an accident…. A bad one no less. Hospitals, insurance, rentals… Then she won’t stop complaining on how it’s affected her life. But…. Her light was green…..
@@iamlegend5190 I literally had this argument after a near miss. Her whole thought process was… My light is green. That’s it. It will be their fault. It will be her fault when i get a Uber and leave her ass there.
@@mikemosley535 i have this convo on so many different levels/situation. Just because youn right. Don't stop the outcome or the bs that come along with it. Right vs right decision....is 2 different concepts that most women don't understand. "Light green. But you or kids still hurt or killed"
Women who get into toxic relationships do so in the hope of "changing him". Irony? When the guy does change, he suddenly becomes BORING. If not, then the woman blames the man for the failed relationship, not because of the choice she made in choosing him in the first place.
@Overlord Reyo never lose yourself over a chick. When they try to change certain things about you, it's a shit test. Double down on any behavior that they complain about because it's what attracted her in the first place
@@dubbcee1000 fax men are islands & females are waves. We d should to stand firm in our values only time u should make a change is if u decide no one else.
Not only does “multi purpose” not mean “all purpose,” something being “stained” doesn’t mean it’s dirty. You literally “stain” wood to give it a better look and better “cleanability.”
So before you use a cleaning product you’ve never used before…. You’re supposed to test it where it won’t be seen incase it stains. I bet it even says that on the bottle.
Here’s the problem with the multipurpose cleaner, it tells you exactly what it cleans and what it’s safe for and how to test if it’s safe for a surface. If you can’t follow directions it’s your fault. If it stains wood, then it’s not meant for wood. If it’s not getting your stovetop clean then it doesn’t cut grease. Read the directions in the back and see if it’s multipurpose fits your purpose. If it’s false advertisement then yes the company is at fault for giving you a faulty product, but if your dumb behind keep buying the same or similar products with the same ingredients expecting different results, then yes, you need to learn to pick better multipurpose cleaning products. Or better yet get the product that gets the specific job done. Also as someone who got dropped because of being non toxic, I know of a few women who specifically choose toxic men. Tried to save ‘‘em but JCole taught me otherwise. listed to them make a myriad of excuses for these dudes when I asked simple questions about suspect behavior. Now most of them have kids by men they can’t stand. Love ‘‘em all dearly but I had to leave after listening to all the venting about how men ain’t ish. Had to start looking out for my mental health
also the fact that you expect it to do literally everything as she said in the video, also if you as a person decided to clean your bathroom AND THEN your stove which you COOK OFF OF, you deserve all of what happened to you🤦♂
@@gbatista20 that’s something I didn’t notice about women until I started watching Kevin Samuels. He doesn’t normally let women ramble-but one time, he did. This women went on for five whole minutes (I know this because Kevin timed her) just to ask a simple question. Watching Kevin just sit there with this look on his face like, “when is she going to get to the point?” was one of the funniest things I had ever seen on his show.
For a group that always rattles on about "my biological clock is ticking" they sure waste alot of time in regards to choosing dudes and who they attempt to stick it out with (toxic environments)
There is a level of personal responsibility that has to be taken. It seems a common trend these days that women will go on social media and trash men, talking about how terrible men are, how they can't find any good guys, and/or how the men that are available aren't worth dating (for whatever reason). Let's also remember that most of these women complaining on social media are often over 30, as in, NOT in their personal prime anymore. First, you waited way too long to decide you want to settle down. Any man that was worth marrying, wanted to marry you 10 years ago, but you wanted something different at the time. Not a man's fault. Second, any of the men you're seeing in the landscape today are the leftovers, either because they're not trying to have a relationship, or there's something about them that you see as not being relationship material (he's got some weight on his belly, kids from a previous marriage, too nice/not aggressive enough for you to feel sexualized, whatever). Like, you still have options, but now you don't like the options. Not the man's fault that your expectations are too high. Third, you better decide real quick if you're gonna change your mindset or not. Every year that ticks by where you haven't changed your attitude about men, is another year you better get yourself a pet, or else you're gonna end up lonely. Don't change your mindset, end up crazy cat lady. But if you want real human companionship, that means coming to a mindset of "I'm not perfect, and neither will he be." It means "I'm gonna need to work on me for him, just like he might need to work on him for me." And "I want a best friend, and I need to be ready to treat him like a best friend." There's a lot more there, but these mindsets will get you started. Take steps toward change, or end up lonely. That's your choice at this point. Not the man's.
Nope. It’s a legitimate thing to tell a woman. I tell my friends and other women this. Pick better men and stop fuckin around with the bad boys that don’t a damn about you. And please stop blaming good men cause of your choice in men. They just don’t want to take accountability.
I know you're looking out for your friends but please stop telling them to find good men after they acquired emotional scars that a good man will have to suffer through just to be with them. Good men don't deserve the suffering foolish women bring with them.
Good morning gorgeous. Tell them they need to heal within and love themselves first, being alone sucks but people need to deal with themselves first and foremost❤️✌🏿
The product analogy doesn’t work because 9/10 times it’ll have the instructions on what NOT to use it on……even if it says ‘multipurpose’ = (There’s ALWAYS a choice!)
Watching these videos and talking with alot of my female acquaintances has me truly believing that women are just dumb. No logic and common sense in these chick's.
how many women have y’all heard say “i was in a toxic/abxsive/controlling/deabeat relationship with this guy” yes you need to pick better just like how you tell men to pick better. get your iq checked too.
5:00 She used the perfect cleaner for her oven. And when the oven became clean and maintenance free, she found it boring 🤦♂️ So.. If I got this analogy right, they need to "dirty the oven" to "find the right cleaner"...And then they get bored of the clean oven... so they dirty the oven again, to find another cleaner that will........ Keep the oven dirty? 🤔
Toxic Men = great in bed, rollercoaster of emotions, abusive( verbal) so on... Simple kind of man = get what you need in life, take care of you, boring life, divorce, take half your stuff. I chose $ingle for life for 1400 Alex.. 😎 😎
If you use the Multipurpose Cleaner and it doesn't clean the stove, Are you gonna keep using that same cleaner on the stove or are you going to walk away from it and get a new cleaner? Lol EXACTLY
The young ones are the worst. You hit the nail on the head. She didn't pick coherent responses, intentionally. She sabotaged her own argument in the fine print. Then had the gall to provide an analogy that she didn't follow all the way through, again intentionally.
Patrice O'Neal was right when he said "Even the smart ones don't get it." You know a mofo is no good when you get with them. Don't be surprised when they show you what they are then turn around and blame everyone for your poor choice.
@@sugarwaterpurple5280 Most of the manosphere exist because you spread the consequences of your stupidity to the majority of men by dating only the same few. You have more chance to find any type of man with a woman modest in all aspect than the opposite. Now live znd die alone in the misery you bring upon yourself
@@sugarwaterpurple5280 Wow,Why you are reevaluate that bitter? You say that about a video where men are preaching accountability and say that it would be the same if men picked bad women. You can dodge accountability all you want, but the consequences for your actions will still exist.
Every day these angry lonely women try to redefine what words mean to fit their own delusional circumstances. They need to pick up dictionaries & job applications instead of picking bad men & crying about it.
@ minute 9:00.... Since when does "multi-purpose" mean "ALL-PURPOSE"? 🤔 This also serves as an analogy for human shortcomings. No one person can excel and please you in any and everything, so you weigh your pros & cons then decide whether that particular relationship is for you or not.
They don't want want to give up Chad, and Tyrone. They want an excuse to ride the CC, and not be considered a garden tool. Once a garden tool, always a garden tool.
My sister and I talked about this topic the other day. She pointed out that most people hate to take any type of responsibility for actions they have taken and would do anything to shift the blame. Picking better people to date should always be the goal so we can learn from the past. Getting upset that it’s being pointed out will not help the problem.
You will NEVER pick a better man until you pick better ideals, principles and values that develop into convictions to become a better woman and person. As long as you hold to bad ideals, bad values, destructive desires and habits, you will continue to do so.
This is exactly what causes 90% of the day-to-day problems in people's lives. I'd like to also take the time to say that there is a difference between it being someone's fault, and someone's responsibility. It can be your ex's fault for being toxic asl, but it's your responsibility to hold yourself accountable and say "if I picked better criteria for men, I wouldn't have this situation." The opposite applies here as well. This goes for almost any situation, excluding things outside of your control aka skin color, people dying, etc. I feel that would be obvious, but I'm surprised at how many people don't understand that as well.
"Choose better men" means you need to do your do diligence. Women take time to analyze 40 different unecessary things about a man but the important factors they passover. I understand you pick what attracts but if there is a pattern then you need to loom at yourself 1st. What you accept into your life. Then yes take responsibily for your choices.
So only toxic men have big “members”? So does that mean she tried every non-toxic men and found them lacking?🤣😭🤣. Sadly imposing respect for women daily. Starting to think they needed to be treated like special needs kids. This is not how adulthood works🤣🤣🤣😭
OK let's go with her analogy about the cleaning product, If that particular Product did not do the job, would you go back to the grocery store and buy the same product?
If a person likes playing in the dirt... Or constantly decides to play in the dirt... And then they complain about being dirty And you tell them to stop playing in the dirt and then they won't be dirty... How the hell is that gaslighting?
At 7:02 she describes a specific type of human being, they're called narcissists, and they target a certain type of person, the low self esteem, emotionally vulnerable with little to no self respect. You HAVE to look within, to understand the people you attract, and are attracted to. From there you absolutely *need* to put in the work to both better, and elevate yourself, so that you are in a position to attract a higher caliber of man. I.E. PICK BETTER MEN
I paused this video and searched "toxic men" and filtered it to my twitter mutuals only. About 3 dozen of them have tweeted about wanting toxic men or that they're currently dating one
I've learned over the years that internal problems manifest as external problems. That even applies to 'unlucky events' in life because you can internally shift your perspective to view that external problem with a better light, then comes those internal problem solving skills... I guess what I'm trying to say is fricken work on yourself. Work hard. Because the things we see in other people that we dislike, we dislike about ourselves. It all starts with you. That makes it simple. You stay with a toxic partner, then work on your self esteem because the blame game got old when you turned 18. Give yourself compassion, and then you will receive compassion from others... and its not fair to dump your baggage on others because you should have worked on yourself yet turn around and call the other person toxic because man, you need a mirror to view yourself.....
I love her cleaning spray analogy imagine buying something that stains your wood then you keep buying the same shit expecting that it won't stain your wood next time. it's literal insanity and shows an extreme lack of personal accountability
I'm a woman and I know for a fact that most of the women in my area of Ohio enjoy the company of toxic men but complain that there's no good men when told to pick better guys!!! Smfh
yup, they complain to their guy friends that they friend-zoned and when you tell them to pick a good guy they tell you all the good ones are taken. Then you say well I'm right here and they say but we're too good of friends. haha this is why I don't talk to women once they friend-zone me.
@@ICP1SBJ as you should bro. I'll never forget when I ghosted this chick that friendzoned me throughout high school and half my 20's. I was just an emotional tampon for her once the revolving door of toxic dudes became to much for her to handle. And it wasn't even like I was being timid about it. I let her know my feelings multiple times from jump. Took me a while to realize most chicks are genuinely repulsed by emotionally available men
@@ICP1SBJ You shouldn't be friends with a woman that you're attracted to it's never gonna end how you want it doesn't matter how many guys hurt her she's already placed you in the friend zone 🤷🏽♂️don't torture yourself brother just cut ties with her 💯
I never really comment, but I will leave this here: it is a woman's responsibility to vet a man just as it is equally important for a man to vet a woman. Again, what is the goal to dating? What's the end game? Is it marriage or just casual sex? I believe people think so lightly of relationships that they end up in bad situations. Make your intentions known prior to being involved will help alleviate a lot of issues. I feel if you continually go into these situations with no game plan, YOU are the problem. Learn from your mistakes and grow.
I think the bigger point needs to be made. It's not about who you are attracting. Bad people will show up no matter what. If you saw bad people as door-to-door salesmen, then understand, they will knock on every door in that neighborhood, they keep knocking until someone answers. Don't want bad people in your life? Recognize the door-to-door salesmen and don't answer the effin door. Once I stopped answering, I stopped dealing with bad people.
Not true. when dating people don't present their authentic selves. And if you've lived your life you've encountered people who thought were one way and turned out to be something else. They presented a lie and then revealed the truth.
@@SuperTruthful its true but no liar is exempt from displaying visible red flags to anyone with common sense. Most people ignore early red flags and suffer the consequences later down the line
😐 His multi purpose product illustration was HORRIBLE..... Because by his illustration then... A woman would need a man for EVERY specific "purpose" she has... So (using the cleaning product example) if she walks into a store specifically looking for ONE product (monogamy) to take home that will do it all so she doesn't have to junk up her shelves at home (baggage) with product after product after product because she just wants ONE perfect and efficient one to do it all, that would be the ideal situation for her and her partner right? (Man finds a woman who doesn't have too many issues and he is the exact "all-in-one" she is looking for) But by HIS illustration, there's no such thing as the perfect "all-in-one" so a woman would need to pick a SPECIFIC product for EVERY SPECIFIC job she needs done... But y'all call a woman like that a 304 type.. a for the streets type... He was so quick to shoot down her argument that he couldn't even see that she did indeed make sense. A product that PROMISES IT ALL is MISLEADING if it can't really DO IT ALL... Correct or incorrect? No technicalities, no speaking LITERALLY about multi purpose products... It's just facts. It's misleading. And if you pick something or SOMEONE based off of fallacies and false advertisement, is it your fault for believing them, or their fault for MISLEADING you?... Now once you find out that multi purpose product ain't SHYT and you don't return that mess with the quickness then yes, it's on you. But initially, it's not. Let's be real now c'mon lol
Hell no it’s not. I don’t blame women (in general) for their mens behavior. But I do blame them for continuously picking dead beat men or gang bangers and then crying about being left holding the kids when they skip out on fatherhood or get beaten or otherwise poorly treated. A lot of women even admit they would rather have a drug dealer or scammer rather than a hardworking 9-5 guy. Whatever, take what attracts you but don’t cry to us about it when you get bit.
Yo, also, women will tell other women- or even admit- that they have shit taste or point out their friend's shitty taste in partners. Women can be brutal in that aspect.
True, a woman cannot take responsibility for how a man presents himself... but what I want to know is why they also don't want to take responsibility after finding out who he is and what he is about and keep going back to him over and over and over 🤔
Let's say I go to the store to get some multi-purpose cleaner, but then when I get home the MPC gets completely shit-faced, pisses on my futon, blows my friends, then acts like it's all my fault!? I guess I'll just stop cleaning.
There's a lot more the cleaner part, some women will choose the same item that says multi cleaner but choose it cause its in a tall purple can and it looks more compelling even tho its says what it is, and another thing, women as they leave a toxic relationship should take the time to heal then get into a healthy one with a good men then hopping into one right after only to change the men in a bad way cause she not use to the good but the bad
I wonder, and I mean I wonder sincerely, if this woman also believes women that say “pick better women” are also gaslighting, or if it’s just really good character growth advice when the words are leaving the lips of a female.
regarding her analogy, shes right it would be the companys fault and my response would be to be more cautious about any claims made on cleaning products to avoid the sitation happening again
3 Simples rules here (1) Looking at the world thru rose color glasses (aka Honeymoon phase) (2) I am looking for my "Harley Quinn and/or Joker" route of mainstream media (aka Toxic/abusive relationship .. remember Joker constantly kept Harley around for sex & to abuse her until he would try killing her) (3) "You are the company that you keep!" (my grandparents taught me this early on in childhood & I have lived by this my whole life some ppl sneak in under the radar but eventually get picked up with their red flags later on.. then you hafta make your choice on WHO you are .. that is the "Get better... friends/spouse/family/job etc" that falls SOLELY on YOU! And here is a fourth random fact: While yes men controlling the narrative is a common thing to hear and know about .. women have more control of said narrative bc either (a) men are afraid of being disbelieved and/or shunned in society when it is their word against a woman's or (b) women cry wolf to protect themselves when they are in the wrong .. while I'm being on the higher side but man on woman abuse is 50-60% of the time reported but woman on man is like 13-15% of the time reported back to those two random facts I posted! I will give a personal story here my ex wife ... decided bc I went out the day before my birthday and spent time with some friends/family she didn't agree with that when I got home that night she wanted to fight .. we yelled and screamed for 30ish minutes or so until I had enough and had a onset of a headache coming on so I started to ignore her and decided to grab some PJs and a towel to get a shower .. walking to the bathroom she decided to punch me in the back of my head and break her finger on my head! The next day I had a family movie day on my birthday with my mom .. so I dropped my wife at the time off at the ER bc her finger was still bothering her and swollen (this is how we found out she broke her finger) .. the cops decided to press charges on me bc SHE BROKE HER FINGER ON MY HEAD and I had no physical damage on me .. she admitted to both the ER & Cops & court that she hit me not vice versa but bc she had the damage I was still charged! Reasons like that is why MORE men hide & take the abuse than report or get out of it.. everytime I tried leaving her then she would find anyone I was talking to and tell them how I ABUSED her so she would lose interest in me, until my now spouse and I connected (she asked after being told that and of course I explained everything.. I guess it helped she had known me all our lives lol)
I'll never forget a friend of mine was extremely quiet in school we tried to hook him up with a girl in the class and her response was "he's cute but he too lame for me" imagine calling someone lame because they're quiet
Lol, at this point all this to me is just entertainment. They will come for anything and everything we say eventually so I’ve decided I’m going to enjoy the downward spiral.
I honestly dont get why they do it. I was far from perfect as a boyfriend but I really did give my all to my ex. She disregarded everything I did to her and gaslighted me by accusing me of every form of abuse that she did to me, then proceeded to cheat on me with a guy who is very toxic and is way more abusive than I could ever try to be. I just don't understand women sometimes
lets be honest, we ALL put our best face forward in the beginning..weather its at a new job or new relationship...its natural...no woman is gonna tell a man she likes that the last guys did XYZ to her, so she is eventually gonna take it out on him..cause the man will keep his distance or pursue other people....but the issue is this...when that man starts exhibiting toxic behavior, the woman doesnt do the smart thing..which is leave..they opt to stay with the guys for years dealing with it...and generall speaking if someone is abusive, verbal, mental or physical, its not taking them years to display that..you can only keep up the appearance of being good for so long..most likely, the woman saw warning signs long before the toxic came out..so it actually is her fault for not making the choice to leave..
It's not gaslighting, it's just a factual statement that goes for both men and women. That's not to say it's all on you because it's not, but a fair share of it is and you gotta own up to it so you can do better in the future. Rejecting it will just doom you to repeat the cycle
the definition of gaslighting contains the words "psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time". What EXACTLY was this extended period of time she is talking about? Especially from multiple people?
@@heedmywarning2792 no one knows what gaslighting really means anymore. Its just a buzz word that people use to deflect accountability, like calling someone a narcissist because youre mad they didnt want to be with you.
The idea mentionned here about "actively picking toxic people" is a proven fact in mainstream psychology with abuse victims. There is a reason that people stay in toxic relationships; be it the love of attention sympathy gets them, the comfort of knowing what evil will come, the freedom from thinking for yourself, even the desire to be wanted... Whatever the reason, unless we are able to take a step back and objectively think of how the abuse served us (what need did it fulfill, which often needs an outsider's perspective), then we are not only prone to repeat it by finding an equally or worse toxic individual to fill that void, but we might start inflicting it unto others is a subconscious plea to have them retaliate and do it to us. In other words, abuse becomes our love language.
They like using the worst analogies or structure it the wrong way and then feel like they made an argument. The crazy part is she just proved the point with that mindset. They stay telling on themselves and it's all documented.
I got an e-mail from a Nigerian prince saying if I sent him $1000 he would send me a million back. This turned out to be a scam!!!!! A week later a different Nigerian prince did the same thing thing!!! Then another, and another and another. Obviously all e-mails are scams.
I disagree with what she says... It's plenty of females that ACTIVELY seek out the hot boys, scammers, bad boys, etc. Alot of females CHOOSE to get in these situations chasing a bag or looking to get something materialistic out of it. So it isn't gas lighting, and women don't change when they get in relationships? What planet she from
Dude I have seen a couple women I know say that line of "Every man is the same", I am not and/or have not dated them so I tell them this"Not all of us are the same and you know it cause you know me, the real problem you have is you are looking for something different from the same crap in the same toilet you got the last ones from, tell me i'm wrong", some have just said I am right and even take down their posts or have stopped talking to me, I just take it as less problems to deal with 😁
IF SHE CAN'T GIVE YOU HER BEST, WHY SHOULD YOU GIVE HER YOUR BEST? 1. Ignore her words focus on her actions 2. Don’t chase women become the man that women will pursue 3. Women you previously pursued and got rejected by Will later be interested when they see you have a different woman 4. Women think about marriage as a wedding day and not a lifetime supporting and respecting their man 5. Embrace rejection it will make you stronger 6. Disdain women who rejected you, ignoring them is the best revenge 7. The more attractive she is the harder you have to be, DONT SIMP 8. Stay away from single mothers 9. Prioritise your appearance no matter what’s 10. Never fully commit 11. Don’t share your weaknesses with a woman, seek professional help in a serious rut 12. Women cheat more than men, don’t let her accusations blind you 13. Be low tolerance, be ready to walk away at any given moment 14. Don’t be bitter, accept female nature and adjust 15. Keep playing the game and make it difficult. People come back to difficult games to try and beat it, easy games get played once and put on the shelf🚀👀💯✅✅✅🚀👀💯✅✅✅
If she is looking for a dude who lays pipe then she will find it but that is all he will do and he won't be exclusive about it, but if she is looking for a dude who is willing to have a healthy relationship she will also find it but to her it might be boring because that dude will understand he is accountable for all of his actions and will try to always take her feelings into account when he makes decisions that affect both of them.
Yes, there are manipulative people out there that will pretend to be something they aren’t and then switch on you after a time. But most of the time, people that are toxic show early signs of that behavior right away because they think the behavior is acceptable and appropriate. Toxic people rarely realize they are toxic and rather display toxicity openly. So the phrase “choose better men” is not gaslighting. Going for these toxic men that end up emotionally hurting and playing with these women is as much the women’s fault as the toxic men’s. Do these women immediately drop the man once they start displaying this toxic behavior or make it known they will not continue to see them if they continue that behavior? No, they stick with it cause it’s “interesting” and “fun” and “exciting” because the women themselves are toxic. There’s a loved one that was in an extremely toxic relationship and saw very early on the behavior, but stayed with the person cause they enjoyed that merry go round and constant high and low. It’s an addiction in a lot of ways. This loved one ended up divorced from the other person after a year and has luckily realized their fault in the relationship. They are now in a happy relationship with a healthy person. Overall, it’s just more of these delusional women not wanting to take accountability 🙄.
6:35 that still means the person needs to be accountable for picking that person though and not handling the situation accordingly. My parents taught me that you can either tolerate it or leave…it’s your choice on what you’re willing to put up with. It’s only manipulative if you choose to be manipulated…there are women that know better and still choose to be stay for the sex in many cases. THIS GOT ME THINKING bout that movie Baby Boy 😂Sure yeah there are probs other situations but the 🚩 tho What is she smoking? 🤦♀️ Women don’t know women like that
People don't like to be told the truth. In this day and age where respectful critique is manipulation, and gas light. People want to hear a beautiful lie.
This is what it looks like when you're raised to believe nothing is your fault. You get people who make stupid decisions and want to blame everyone but themselves for their bad choices in life. You are the author of your own fate, no one else.
I had a female friend one day she told me she wanted to become gl with the guy who was her friend with benefit I was like cool until she told me he is married I immediately told her that’s a big red flag she responded ,,You just don’t understand true love” she got dump a month later. Am sorry but the guy showed red flags that you can’t mean ss but she still went for it that just shows me some woman you don’t need much for them to manipulate themselves.
I had a female friend and one time she was just venting about her bf cheating on her. Mind you she must’ve caught this man cheating like a hundred million times before this now. I just was tired of hearing about it, so I told her, either she gonna let this man cheat in peace or leave him. According to her I wasn’t a good friend for telling her that
@@suntansuperman26 damned if u do damned if u don't. This is the reason why I just say it. And if they hate me. Oh well. They got the truth. Thank me or hate me later. U'll remember what i said if and when it ends up how u were warned it would go.
There are 2 paths to the "choose better" statement. There is holding accountabilty and there is pushing responsibilty. Holding someone accountable for choosing the same type of person without learning from past experiences. Also there are the thrill seekers that like that danger in their lives. On the other hand there is pushing responsibility. That is when the argument that the young woman presents. Now if a 18 year gets into their first relationship and it's terriblel (non abusive) . Telling that young person "to choose better..." make more sense because they're young have room to grow. Now let's take that 18 year on 3 different paths. First they don't listen to the advice and keep on dating trash people. Second they take the advice vet better and after a while fins someone good and decent and they get married. Third, they take the advice and marry someone who presents as good and decent, but actually they are financially domineering, undermine their partners concerns, unfaithful. Still they present themselves as good and decent. That's when it becomes victim blaming. One can say "you should have looked at the red flags" and more likely the red flags weren't so prominent or they presented themselves as common flaws others have. Now you are saying you are responsible for the way this person treats you because you couldn't look into the future or become Sherlock and predicted certain behaviors.
She is correct, there is a whole different person 6 months down the road. That’s why you don’t bed them right away. That’s why you take your time. See how he treats other women ie his mom, his sis and so forth. Also check out how others treat him. It’s a process not instant husband.
I'd like to expound a little on the "Pick better men/women." If you find yourself with a toxic person, not bad habits but a truly toxic person, definitely get out, and then take time to figure out what the red flags were, big and small. Until you've identified at least some of these, don't jump into another relationship. Then, once you've figured out those flags, be on the lookout for them. This is how we "pick better men/women." I've found the saying "love is blind" to be wholly untrue. *Infatuation* is blind. Love should be eyes wide open.
People will always pick what they are used to, because it requires less inner change...
A crappy man is a crappy woman's plausible deniability.
Facts
@@MISTERPERFECT3806 exactly! If it works, they will take all the credit; if there is no improvement? Then they can blame the guy…
God amen AMEN!!
"Gaslighting," "victim blaming," it's all the same behaviour - women squirming to avoid accountability.
The point that should’ve been made is that everyone has the potential to choose poorly, and that’s fine but LEARN FROM IT. For the example, with the “multi purpose product”, most females are in the situation where they realize that product is flawed but decide “fck it lets buy it again to see if it’s different the next time” and then complain about ALL CLEANING PRODUCTS when that one multipurpose product has issues. It makes literally no sense 😂, if you’re consistently picking men who have issues or things that would lead you to believe they’re garbage, all anyone is saying is take responsibility for the things you believe are initially attracting you to these types of people, and do a better job vetting the men you’re talking to. Same way for men who try to wife these Instagram models and are surprised or confused when they find out they just were wanted for their money.
That’s exactly why her analogy doesn’t really work. Like most folks when they buy something and it doesn’t work, they go “oh no, that doesn’t work, I’ll have to try something DIFFERENT next time.” But she focused on the idea that “well don’t blame me that I didn’t know it wouldn’t work if I’ve never bought it before,” which is not really the point. The point is that the benefit of leaving a bad relationship allows you the opportunity to seek out something better for yourself in the future. Just as you would if you bought a product that did not work, and you tell yourself you’ll get something better next time.
The part that makes it difficult to overcome that obstacle is the idea of comfort and familiarity. Which can relate back to her trauma and Stockholm syndrome argument as to why women perpetually end up dating “bad men.” With her cleaner analogy, the argument isn’t “well I used it once and it actually ruined my stuff, and idk how that happened” it sounds more like “I mean, yea it doesn’t work as good as this other product my friend told me about, but it’s what I’ve always used. I know it only really works well in around 3/5 situations, but I mean hey 60% isn’t THAT bad. Plus it’s not like I can return it at this point, I waited too long to get a refund, and I hate to throw it away when there is still so much product left.” It’s a lot of different things that basically make is so you talk yourself into putting up with the situation you’re in for any number of reasons even if you do recognize that it really isn’t good for you. I wish she’d gone past the surface level of just “don’t blame women for choosing bad men, bad men don’t always look bad in the beginning” because if that is as far as your argument goes, then the obvious counter argument is “then just leave when you find out.” Which is also not fair, because it’s not always that simple. The argument should not be “don’t tell women to choose better men” because the reason for that is the hope that women can grow and find someone who treats them well and doesn’t hurt them. Most people who say “choose better men” aren’t trying to gaslight you. They’re just trying to get across to you that you should consider changing your standards. Because the standards some folks have pretty much exclusively attract toxic people. You can date bad men in the past, but use it as a stepping stone, not a stumbling block.
I agree, you are suppose to learn, grow, and evolve from every failed relationship imo, but I too had a "type' and had to go out my comfort zone
even when men get fucked over, we really have to be accountable and most wont say all women are bad because one fucked them over
Girls: It's not my fault I picked a bad man, he hid it from me!
The guy she picked: "Eyy yoo bitchh, you finee, what's yoo name sidechick?"
90% of the time, these guys aren't con artist. Learn to spot a doucheee.
A majority of women just can't learn from their own poor decisions or the poor decisions of other women.
It's sad.
Accountability is kryptonite for most women. The only constant in your failed relationships is YOU. If you keep picking garbage dudes, then don't be shocked if the relationships fail. It's like someone that keeps buying high end supercars and then complains about them not being reliable. You picked them.
I don't get it. We tell men to pick better as well when there are clear red flags
Insanity is doing the same thing expecting different results
@@mac1bc Men dont pick they audition then they get picked the men that ruin the community dont even have to audition they get picked off the characteristic we are complaining about. Women deny they have great power because ofc with great power there must also be great blah blah you know the rest. I know this shit seems backwards based off what we were all taught how men are the pickers but that's literally cause the patriarchy gave women very little wiggle room but women always had that power it's why so many cultures try to suppress them. Btw I ain't hating on women arousal is arousal but let's be real if women were only sexually attracted to science minded individuals we would all be in space such is the power of the devine 😺.
*Earth attacks using Accountability*
*Woman uses the sexism card*
*Accountability deflected*
@@godemperorletoatreidesii6971 It ain't like that man. Most girls don't pick the obvious doucbags. They pick stand up guys with things going well for them. The girls that pick douchy guys are just douchy girls that haven't realised that they're with their own kind. There's a reason why not even the douchy guys would wife up those woman. They don't deserve good men, that's why it stings when they're told to pick better men. Because they know better men would be disgusted with them.
Married 24 years.
The thought process of women is amazing.
My wife will just go at a green light.
Not look to see who’s coming or if traffic is stopping.
Because the light was green.
She’s right.
What she doesn’t get is.
If she gets into an accident….
A bad one no less.
Hospitals, insurance, rentals…
Then she won’t stop complaining on how it’s affected her life.
But….
Her light was green…..
That's a dope analogy.
💯
@@iamlegend5190
I literally had this argument after a near miss.
Her whole thought process was…
My light is green.
That’s it.
It will be their fault.
It will be her fault when i get a Uber and leave her ass there.
@@mikemosley535 i have this convo on so many different levels/situation. Just because youn right. Don't stop the outcome or the bs that come along with it. Right vs right decision....is 2 different concepts that most women don't understand.
"Light green. But you or kids still hurt or killed"
@@iamlegend5190 straight facts!!!
Women who get into toxic relationships do so in the hope of "changing him". Irony? When the guy does change, he suddenly becomes BORING. If not, then the woman blames the man for the failed relationship, not because of the choice she made in choosing him in the first place.
If he does* change, he becomes boring. Ie: no more sex, they cheat, or leave.
@Overlord Reyo never lose yourself over a chick. When they try to change certain things about you, it's a shit test. Double down on any behavior that they complain about because it's what attracted her in the first place
@@dubbcee1000 fax men are islands & females are waves. We d should to stand firm in our values only time u should make a change is if u decide no one else.
Not only does “multi purpose” not mean “all purpose,” something being “stained” doesn’t mean it’s dirty. You literally “stain” wood to give it a better look and better “cleanability.”
So before you use a cleaning product you’ve never used before….
You’re supposed to test it where it won’t be seen incase it stains.
I bet it even says that on the bottle.
Here’s the problem with the multipurpose cleaner, it tells you exactly what it cleans and what it’s safe for and how to test if it’s safe for a surface. If you can’t follow directions it’s your fault. If it stains wood, then it’s not meant for wood. If it’s not getting your stovetop clean then it doesn’t cut grease. Read the directions in the back and see if it’s multipurpose fits your purpose. If it’s false advertisement then yes the company is at fault for giving you a faulty product, but if your dumb behind keep buying the same or similar products with the same ingredients expecting different results, then yes, you need to learn to pick better multipurpose cleaning products. Or better yet get the product that gets the specific job done.
Also as someone who got dropped because of being non toxic, I know of a few women who specifically choose toxic men. Tried to save ‘‘em but JCole taught me otherwise. listed to them make a myriad of excuses for these dudes when I asked simple questions about suspect behavior. Now most of them have kids by men they can’t stand. Love ‘‘em all dearly but I had to leave after listening to all the venting about how men ain’t ish. Had to start looking out for my mental health
also the fact that you expect it to do literally everything as she said in the video, also if you as a person decided to clean your bathroom AND THEN your stove which you COOK OFF OF, you deserve all of what happened to you🤦♂
Hey ladies if you refuse to take any responsibility and want to be treated like CHILDREN...just say that.
It's like they are saying it already without saying it 🤷🏽♂️. Like they can't help what men they get involved with
Women don't like to speak directly. They always deflect questions, speak in riddles, talk too much but never straight to the point
@@gbatista20 that’s something I didn’t notice about women until I started watching Kevin Samuels. He doesn’t normally let women ramble-but one time, he did. This women went on for five whole minutes (I know this because Kevin timed her) just to ask a simple question.
Watching Kevin just sit there with this look on his face like, “when is she going to get to the point?” was one of the funniest things I had ever seen on his show.
@@ViralAgent1 I watch KS too.
For a group that always rattles on about "my biological clock is ticking" they sure waste alot of time in regards to choosing dudes and who they attempt to stick it out with (toxic environments)
“My biological clock is ticking”
“Yeah and it looks like times a wasting”
😂😂😂
These women don't know what gaslighting means
They constantly switch the definition up
@Rudy O'Brien she won’t even realize that she herself is gaslighting🙃
They know what it means but they use language to define reality (signal virtue and their special victim status) instead of describing reality.
There is a level of personal responsibility that has to be taken. It seems a common trend these days that women will go on social media and trash men, talking about how terrible men are, how they can't find any good guys, and/or how the men that are available aren't worth dating (for whatever reason).
Let's also remember that most of these women complaining on social media are often over 30, as in, NOT in their personal prime anymore.
First, you waited way too long to decide you want to settle down. Any man that was worth marrying, wanted to marry you 10 years ago, but you wanted something different at the time. Not a man's fault.
Second, any of the men you're seeing in the landscape today are the leftovers, either because they're not trying to have a relationship, or there's something about them that you see as not being relationship material (he's got some weight on his belly, kids from a previous marriage, too nice/not aggressive enough for you to feel sexualized, whatever). Like, you still have options, but now you don't like the options. Not the man's fault that your expectations are too high.
Third, you better decide real quick if you're gonna change your mindset or not. Every year that ticks by where you haven't changed your attitude about men, is another year you better get yourself a pet, or else you're gonna end up lonely. Don't change your mindset, end up crazy cat lady. But if you want real human companionship, that means coming to a mindset of "I'm not perfect, and neither will he be." It means "I'm gonna need to work on me for him, just like he might need to work on him for me." And "I want a best friend, and I need to be ready to treat him like a best friend." There's a lot more there, but these mindsets will get you started. Take steps toward change, or end up lonely. That's your choice at this point. Not the man's.
Pure facts 💯
Nope. It’s a legitimate thing to tell a woman. I tell my friends and other women this. Pick better men and stop fuckin around with the bad boys that don’t a damn about you. And please stop blaming good men cause of your choice in men. They just don’t want to take accountability.
I know you're looking out for your friends but please stop telling them to find good men after they acquired emotional scars that a good man will have to suffer through just to be with them. Good men don't deserve the suffering foolish women bring with them.
@@Jamfar777 exactly until they’re healed from that trauma we don’t need them in the already diluted dating pool
Good morning gorgeous. Tell them they need to heal within and love themselves first, being alone sucks but people need to deal with themselves first and foremost❤️✌🏿
@@rockyrillz105 Nah, we don't take "healed" girls either.
@@Ticketman99 😭😭🤣
The product analogy doesn’t work because 9/10 times it’ll have the instructions on what NOT to use it on……even if it says ‘multipurpose’ = (There’s ALWAYS a choice!)
…no. Because that’s not what “gaslighting” means 🤦🏾♀️ Yall really use that word like it means “being told something I don’t like” 🙄🙄
“Creepy” and “narcissist” are also words women like to use, yet have no idea what they actually mean.
Social media needs to be subscription based like Netflix and Disney+. Pay monthly or shut it
Watching these videos and talking with alot of my female acquaintances has me truly believing that women are just dumb. No logic and common sense in these chick's.
I agree 👍... You have to use the right tool for the right job... Most times we have to stay in our budget...
how many women have y’all heard say “i was in a toxic/abxsive/controlling/deabeat relationship with this guy” yes you need to pick better just like how you tell men to pick better. get your iq checked too.
5:00
She used the perfect cleaner for her oven. And when the oven became clean and maintenance free, she found it boring 🤦♂️
So.. If I got this analogy right, they need to "dirty the oven" to "find the right cleaner"...And then they get bored of the clean oven... so they dirty the oven again, to find another cleaner that will........ Keep the oven dirty? 🤔
In short: Women are masochists!!!
Aye I’m rolling that this man actually had a can of cleaner in his hand 😂😂😂😂
Toxic Men = great in bed, rollercoaster of emotions, abusive( verbal) so on...
Simple kind of man = get what you need in life, take care of you, boring life, divorce, take half your stuff.
I chose $ingle for life for 1400 Alex.. 😎 😎
If you use the Multipurpose Cleaner and it doesn't clean the stove, Are you gonna keep using that same cleaner on the stove or are you going to walk away from it and get a new cleaner? Lol EXACTLY
She's going to buy every brand of multi purpose cleaner at the store
Exactly. Buy another brand that works for Christ sakes.
'The Common Denominator' is never realised.
The young ones are the worst. You hit the nail on the head. She didn't pick coherent responses, intentionally. She sabotaged her own argument in the fine print. Then had the gall to provide an analogy that she didn't follow all the way through, again intentionally.
Patrice O'Neal was right when he said "Even the smart ones don't get it." You know a mofo is no good when you get with them. Don't be surprised when they show you what they are then turn around and blame everyone for your poor choice.
Same applies to men then right? If that were the case channels like this and most of the "manosphere" wouldn't exist
@@sugarwaterpurple5280 Most of the manosphere exist because you spread the consequences of your stupidity to the majority of men by dating only the same few. You have more chance to find any type of man with a woman modest in all aspect than the opposite. Now live znd die alone in the misery you bring upon yourself
@@sugarwaterpurple5280 Wow,Why you are reevaluate that bitter? You say that about a video where men are preaching accountability and say that it would be the same if men picked bad women. You can dodge accountability all you want, but the consequences for your actions will still exist.
@@shayla106 As will the consequences for men's actions, no? Where am I wrong?
Every day these angry lonely women try to redefine what words mean to fit their own delusional circumstances. They need to pick up dictionaries & job applications instead of picking bad men & crying about it.
@ minute 9:00.... Since when does "multi-purpose" mean "ALL-PURPOSE"? 🤔
This also serves as an analogy for human shortcomings. No one person can excel and please you in any and everything, so you weigh your pros & cons then decide whether that particular relationship is for you or not.
They don't want want to give up Chad, and Tyrone. They want an excuse to ride the CC, and not be considered a garden tool. Once a garden tool, always a garden tool.
What’s CC?
@@user-gv6ei2jg8g the cock carousel
"Toxic is fun!" = "I am still a child..."
My sister and I talked about this topic the other day. She pointed out that most people hate to take any type of responsibility for actions they have taken and would do anything to shift the blame. Picking better people to date should always be the goal so we can learn from the past. Getting upset that it’s being pointed out will not help the problem.
You will NEVER pick a better man until you pick better ideals, principles and values that develop into convictions to become a better woman and person. As long as you hold to bad ideals, bad values, destructive desires and habits, you will continue to do so.
This is exactly what causes 90% of the day-to-day problems in people's lives.
I'd like to also take the time to say that there is a difference between it being someone's fault, and someone's responsibility.
It can be your ex's fault for being toxic asl, but it's your responsibility to hold yourself accountable and say "if I picked better criteria for men, I wouldn't have this situation." The opposite applies here as well.
This goes for almost any situation, excluding things outside of your control aka skin color, people dying, etc. I feel that would be obvious, but I'm surprised at how many people don't understand that as well.
Gaslighting?? This is Olympic level mental gymnastics here 😆
Being in a toxic relationship can be dangerous and lead to someone being hurt, jailed or dead!
Where did the phrase “ I can change him” come from?🧐😂
You got her AOK😂😂
"Choose better men" means you need to do your do diligence. Women take time to analyze 40 different unecessary things about a man but the important factors they passover. I understand you pick what attracts but if there is a pattern then you need to loom at yourself 1st. What you accept into your life.
Then yes take responsibily for your choices.
I see you rocking that Cobra Kai my dude
COBRA KAI!!!
So only toxic men have big “members”? So does that mean she tried every non-toxic men and found them lacking?🤣😭🤣. Sadly imposing respect for women daily. Starting to think they needed to be treated like special needs kids. This is not how adulthood works🤣🤣🤣😭
It's really sad how women try to attach everything to a man junk
OK let's go with her analogy about the cleaning product, If that particular Product did not do the job, would you go back to the grocery store and buy the same product?
If a person likes playing in the dirt... Or constantly decides to play in the dirt... And then they complain about being dirty
And you tell them to stop playing in the dirt and then they won't be dirty...
How the hell is that gaslighting?
Nope. They should vet better. Just like men should.
If u ignore red flags it will come back to bite u and to me toxic doesn't equal fun toxic equals unnecessary stress.
At 7:02 she describes a specific type of human being, they're called narcissists, and they target a certain type of person, the low self esteem, emotionally vulnerable with little to no self respect. You HAVE to look within, to understand the people you attract, and are attracted to. From there you absolutely *need* to put in the work to both better, and elevate yourself, so that you are in a position to attract a higher caliber of man. I.E. PICK BETTER MEN
I paused this video and searched "toxic men" and filtered it to my twitter mutuals only. About 3 dozen of them have tweeted about wanting toxic men or that they're currently dating one
I've learned over the years that internal problems manifest as external problems. That even applies to 'unlucky events' in life because you can internally shift your perspective to view that external problem with a better light, then comes those internal problem solving skills... I guess what I'm trying to say is fricken work on yourself. Work hard. Because the things we see in other people that we dislike, we dislike about ourselves. It all starts with you. That makes it simple. You stay with a toxic partner, then work on your self esteem because the blame game got old when you turned 18. Give yourself compassion, and then you will receive compassion from others... and its not fair to dump your baggage on others because you should have worked on yourself yet turn around and call the other person toxic because man, you need a mirror to view yourself.....
Foreal...they are exerting way more energy making excuses than it takes to just take accountability 🙄
Bro seriously, this shit really getting ridiculous. Who the fuck made up this word gaslighting too
The good guys simply don't make their coochies wet!
@@onewayfarer53 pretty much. 9 to 5 Fred don't off the same amount of chaos as Pookie
I love her cleaning spray analogy imagine buying something that stains your wood then you keep buying the same shit expecting that it won't stain your wood next time. it's literal insanity and shows an extreme lack of personal accountability
She thought she was sooooo smart with that analogy. She's absolutely certifiably insane.
I'm a woman and I know for a fact that most of the women in my area of Ohio enjoy the company of toxic men but complain that there's no good men when told to pick better guys!!! Smfh
yup, they complain to their guy friends that they friend-zoned and when you tell them to pick a good guy they tell you all the good ones are taken. Then you say well I'm right here and they say but we're too good of friends. haha this is why I don't talk to women once they friend-zone me.
Well, it's Ohio...
@@ICP1SBJ as you should bro. I'll never forget when I ghosted this chick that friendzoned me throughout high school and half my 20's. I was just an emotional tampon for her once the revolving door of toxic dudes became to much for her to handle. And it wasn't even like I was being timid about it. I let her know my feelings multiple times from jump. Took me a while to realize most chicks are genuinely repulsed by emotionally available men
@@ICP1SBJ You shouldn't be friends with a woman that you're attracted to it's never gonna end how you want it doesn't matter how many guys hurt her she's already placed you in the friend zone 🤷🏽♂️don't torture yourself brother just cut ties with her 💯
I never really comment, but I will leave this here: it is a woman's responsibility to vet a man just as it is equally important for a man to vet a woman. Again, what is the goal to dating? What's the end game? Is it marriage or just casual sex? I believe people think so lightly of relationships that they end up in bad situations. Make your intentions known prior to being involved will help alleviate a lot of issues. I feel if you continually go into these situations with no game plan, YOU are the problem. Learn from your mistakes and grow.
Rockin' that Cobra Kai AOK. I have the same shirt.
They will find any way to avoid accountability. Jesus H. Christ😂
I think the bigger point needs to be made. It's not about who you are attracting. Bad people will show up no matter what. If you saw bad people as door-to-door salesmen, then understand, they will knock on every door in that neighborhood, they keep knocking until someone answers. Don't want bad people in your life? Recognize the door-to-door salesmen and don't answer the effin door. Once I stopped answering, I stopped dealing with bad people.
Intentions don't matter. Picking wrong is picking wrong, and ONLY YOU can do something to fix that.
background check, STD panel, interview parents and close friends, review tax records, and legal records.
Not true. when dating people don't present their authentic selves. And if you've lived your life you've encountered people who thought were one way and turned out to be something else. They presented a lie and then revealed the truth.
Well stated!
@@SuperTruthful its true but no liar is exempt from displaying visible red flags to anyone with common sense. Most people ignore early red flags and suffer the consequences later down the line
😐 His multi purpose product illustration was HORRIBLE..... Because by his illustration then... A woman would need a man for EVERY specific "purpose" she has... So (using the cleaning product example) if she walks into a store specifically looking for ONE product (monogamy) to take home that will do it all so she doesn't have to junk up her shelves at home (baggage) with product after product after product because she just wants ONE perfect and efficient one to do it all, that would be the ideal situation for her and her partner right? (Man finds a woman who doesn't have too many issues and he is the exact "all-in-one" she is looking for) But by HIS illustration, there's no such thing as the perfect "all-in-one" so a woman would need to pick a SPECIFIC product for EVERY SPECIFIC job she needs done... But y'all call a woman like that a 304 type.. a for the streets type... He was so quick to shoot down her argument that he couldn't even see that she did indeed make sense. A product that PROMISES IT ALL is MISLEADING if it can't really DO IT ALL... Correct or incorrect? No technicalities, no speaking LITERALLY about multi purpose products... It's just facts. It's misleading. And if you pick something or SOMEONE based off of fallacies and false advertisement, is it your fault for believing them, or their fault for MISLEADING you?... Now once you find out that multi purpose product ain't SHYT and you don't return that mess with the quickness then yes, it's on you. But initially, it's not. Let's be real now c'mon lol
Ive skipped telling women to get a better man right to telling them to leave men alone
Hell no it’s not. I don’t blame women (in general) for their mens behavior. But I do blame them for continuously picking dead beat men or gang bangers and then crying about being left holding the kids when they skip out on fatherhood or get beaten or otherwise poorly treated. A lot of women even admit they would rather have a drug dealer or scammer rather than a hardworking 9-5 guy. Whatever, take what attracts you but don’t cry to us about it when you get bit.
Exactly. You made your bed; time to go to sleep.
I’ve seen those “scammer, drug dealer, 9-5” videos. They always make me happy to be single.
Yo, also, women will tell other women- or even admit- that they have shit taste or point out their friend's shitty taste in partners. Women can be brutal in that aspect.
True, a woman cannot take responsibility for how a man presents himself... but what I want to know is why they also don't want to take responsibility after finding out who he is and what he is about and keep going back to him over and over and over 🤔
Let's say I go to the store to get some multi-purpose cleaner, but then when I get home the MPC gets completely shit-faced, pisses on my futon, blows my friends, then acts like it's all my fault!? I guess I'll just stop cleaning.
There's a lot more the cleaner part, some women will choose the same item that says multi cleaner but choose it cause its in a tall purple can and it looks more compelling even tho its says what it is, and another thing, women as they leave a toxic relationship should take the time to heal then get into a healthy one with a good men then hopping into one right after only to change the men in a bad way cause she not use to the good but the bad
Their actively and intentionally avoiding character & actions.
I wonder, and I mean I wonder sincerely, if this woman also believes women that say “pick better women” are also gaslighting, or if it’s just really good character growth advice when the words are leaving the lips of a female.
She would call them male identified pick me victims of the patriarchy…
regarding her analogy, shes right it would be the companys fault and my response would be to be more cautious about any claims made on cleaning products to avoid the sitation happening again
The fact that she deflected with a gaslight is almost impressive
3 Simples rules here
(1) Looking at the world thru rose color glasses (aka Honeymoon phase)
(2) I am looking for my "Harley Quinn and/or Joker" route of mainstream media (aka Toxic/abusive relationship .. remember Joker constantly kept Harley around for sex & to abuse her until he would try killing her)
(3) "You are the company that you keep!" (my grandparents taught me this early on in childhood & I have lived by this my whole life some ppl sneak in under the radar but eventually get picked up with their red flags later on.. then you hafta make your choice on WHO you are .. that is the "Get better... friends/spouse/family/job etc" that falls SOLELY on YOU!
And here is a fourth random fact: While yes men controlling the narrative is a common thing to hear and know about .. women have more control of said narrative bc either (a) men are afraid of being disbelieved and/or shunned in society when it is their word against a woman's or (b) women cry wolf to protect themselves when they are in the wrong .. while I'm being on the higher side but man on woman abuse is 50-60% of the time reported but woman on man is like 13-15% of the time reported back to those two random facts I posted!
I will give a personal story here my ex wife ... decided bc I went out the day before my birthday and spent time with some friends/family she didn't agree with that when I got home that night she wanted to fight .. we yelled and screamed for 30ish minutes or so until I had enough and had a onset of a headache coming on so I started to ignore her and decided to grab some PJs and a towel to get a shower .. walking to the bathroom she decided to punch me in the back of my head and break her finger on my head! The next day I had a family movie day on my birthday with my mom .. so I dropped my wife at the time off at the ER bc her finger was still bothering her and swollen (this is how we found out she broke her finger) .. the cops decided to press charges on me bc SHE BROKE HER FINGER ON MY HEAD and I had no physical damage on me .. she admitted to both the ER & Cops & court that she hit me not vice versa but bc she had the damage I was still charged!
Reasons like that is why MORE men hide & take the abuse than report or get out of it.. everytime I tried leaving her then she would find anyone I was talking to and tell them how I ABUSED her so she would lose interest in me, until my now spouse and I connected (she asked after being told that and of course I explained everything.. I guess it helped she had known me all our lives lol)
I have heard women and men both tell men that they need to pick better.
I'll never forget a friend of mine was extremely quiet in school we tried to hook him up with a girl in the class and her response was "he's cute but he too lame for me" imagine calling someone lame because they're quiet
women definitely say pick better more, but its not gaslighting for trying to help better our lives 😂
Lol, at this point all this to me is just entertainment. They will come for anything and everything we say eventually so I’ve decided I’m going to enjoy the downward spiral.
Even though your spittin' game, your toooooo funny bro. Keep it up
I honestly dont get why they do it. I was far from perfect as a boyfriend but I really did give my all to my ex. She disregarded everything I did to her and gaslighted me by accusing me of every form of abuse that she did to me, then proceeded to cheat on me with a guy who is very toxic and is way more abusive than I could ever try to be. I just don't understand women sometimes
lets be honest, we ALL put our best face forward in the beginning..weather its at a new job or new relationship...its natural...no woman is gonna tell a man she likes that the last guys did XYZ to her, so she is eventually gonna take it out on him..cause the man will keep his distance or pursue other people....but the issue is this...when that man starts exhibiting toxic behavior, the woman doesnt do the smart thing..which is leave..they opt to stay with the guys for years dealing with it...and generall speaking if someone is abusive, verbal, mental or physical, its not taking them years to display that..you can only keep up the appearance of being good for so long..most likely, the woman saw warning signs long before the toxic came out..so it actually is her fault for not making the choice to leave..
It's not gaslighting, it's just a factual statement that goes for both men and women. That's not to say it's all on you because it's not, but a fair share of it is and you gotta own up to it so you can do better in the future. Rejecting it will just doom you to repeat the cycle
the definition of gaslighting contains the words "psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time". What EXACTLY was this extended period of time she is talking about? Especially from multiple people?
@@heedmywarning2792 no one knows what gaslighting really means anymore. Its just a buzz word that people use to deflect accountability, like calling someone a narcissist because youre mad they didnt want to be with you.
4:28 AOK came with the evidence
The idea mentionned here about "actively picking toxic people" is a proven fact in mainstream psychology with abuse victims. There is a reason that people stay in toxic relationships; be it the love of attention sympathy gets them, the comfort of knowing what evil will come, the freedom from thinking for yourself, even the desire to be wanted... Whatever the reason, unless we are able to take a step back and objectively think of how the abuse served us (what need did it fulfill, which often needs an outsider's perspective), then we are not only prone to repeat it by finding an equally or worse toxic individual to fill that void, but we might start inflicting it unto others is a subconscious plea to have them retaliate and do it to us.
In other words, abuse becomes our love language.
They definitely pick these toxic men because of the excitement gets them wet
@@Reezy12333 no not actually.
@@kenmckinnie6061 yea it does lol
@@Reezy12333 nah because im not toxic. Im
Just attractive
@@kenmckinnie6061 Your a minority and attractive niggas get cheated on by toxic mf all the time
They like using the worst analogies or structure it the wrong way and then feel like they made an argument. The crazy part is she just proved the point with that mindset. They stay telling on themselves and it's all documented.
Straight up! These chicks stupid as hell 😂
Excellent points and video
I got an e-mail from a Nigerian prince saying if I sent him $1000 he would send me a million back. This turned out to be a scam!!!!! A week later a different Nigerian prince did the same thing thing!!! Then another, and another and another. Obviously all e-mails are scams.
I disagree with what she says... It's plenty of females that ACTIVELY seek out the hot boys, scammers, bad boys, etc. Alot of females CHOOSE to get in these situations chasing a bag or looking to get something materialistic out of it. So it isn't gas lighting, and women don't change when they get in relationships? What planet she from
HAHAHAHA some people I have known actively seek out toxic people. She lost me at that
Dude I have seen a couple women I know say that line of "Every man is the same", I am not and/or have not dated them so I tell them this"Not all of us are the same and you know it cause you know me, the real problem you have is you are looking for something different from the same crap in the same toilet you got the last ones from, tell me i'm wrong", some have just said I am right and even take down their posts or have stopped talking to me, I just take it as less problems to deal with 😁
IF SHE CAN'T GIVE YOU HER BEST, WHY SHOULD YOU GIVE HER YOUR BEST?
1. Ignore her words focus on her actions
2. Don’t chase women become the man that women will pursue
3. Women you previously pursued and got rejected by Will later be interested when they see you have a different woman
4. Women think about marriage as a wedding day and not a lifetime supporting and respecting their man
5. Embrace rejection it will make you stronger
6. Disdain women who rejected you, ignoring them is the best revenge
7. The more attractive she is the harder you have to be, DONT SIMP
8. Stay away from single mothers
9. Prioritise your appearance no matter what’s
10. Never fully commit
11. Don’t share your weaknesses with a woman, seek professional help in a serious rut
12. Women cheat more than men, don’t let her accusations blind you
13. Be low tolerance, be ready to walk away at any given moment
14. Don’t be bitter, accept female nature and adjust
15. Keep playing the game and make it difficult. People come back to difficult games to try and beat it, easy games get played once and put on the shelf🚀👀💯✅✅✅🚀👀💯✅✅✅
If she is looking for a dude who lays pipe then she will find it but that is all he will do and he won't be exclusive about it, but if she is looking for a dude who is willing to have a healthy relationship she will also find it but to her it might be boring because that dude will understand he is accountable for all of his actions and will try to always take her feelings into account when he makes decisions that affect both of them.
Telling someone to pick better isn’t gas lighting
9:34 she looks so sure of herself awwwe
It's one thing to go out with one guy who turns out to be terrible but after two or three, it's you lady.
Yes, there are manipulative people out there that will pretend to be something they aren’t and then switch on you after a time. But most of the time, people that are toxic show early signs of that behavior right away because they think the behavior is acceptable and appropriate. Toxic people rarely realize they are toxic and rather display toxicity openly. So the phrase “choose better men” is not gaslighting. Going for these toxic men that end up emotionally hurting and playing with these women is as much the women’s fault as the toxic men’s. Do these women immediately drop the man once they start displaying this toxic behavior or make it known they will not continue to see them if they continue that behavior? No, they stick with it cause it’s “interesting” and “fun” and “exciting” because the women themselves are toxic. There’s a loved one that was in an extremely toxic relationship and saw very early on the behavior, but stayed with the person cause they enjoyed that merry go round and constant high and low. It’s an addiction in a lot of ways. This loved one ended up divorced from the other person after a year and has luckily realized their fault in the relationship. They are now in a happy relationship with a healthy person. Overall, it’s just more of these delusional women not wanting to take accountability 🙄.
6:35 that still means the person needs to be accountable for picking that person though and not handling the situation accordingly. My parents taught me that you can either tolerate it or leave…it’s your choice on what you’re willing to put up with.
It’s only manipulative if you choose to be manipulated…there are women that know better and still choose to be stay for the sex in many cases. THIS GOT ME THINKING bout that movie Baby Boy 😂Sure yeah there are probs other situations but the 🚩 tho
What is she smoking? 🤦♀️
Women don’t know women like that
You attract what you are, period. If he's toxic guess what so are you or vice versa.
These women always seem to get outsmarted by men when in relationships and these guys probably had a 8th grade education.
Because relationships are really simple. And what are most men. Simple. But shit always gotta be turned into a complex situation
People don't like to be told the truth. In this day and age where respectful critique is manipulation, and gas light. People want to hear a beautiful lie.
This is what it looks like when you're raised to believe nothing is your fault. You get people who make stupid decisions and want to blame everyone but themselves for their bad choices in life.
You are the author of your own fate, no one else.
I had a female friend one day she told me she wanted to become gl with the guy who was her friend with benefit I was like cool until she told me he is married I immediately told her that’s a big red flag she responded ,,You just don’t understand true love” she got dump a month later. Am sorry but the guy showed red flags that you can’t mean ss but she still went for it that just shows me some woman you don’t need much for them to manipulate themselves.
I had a female friend and one time she was just venting about her bf cheating on her. Mind you she must’ve caught this man cheating like a hundred million times before this now. I just was tired of hearing about it, so I told her, either she gonna let this man cheat in peace or leave him. According to her I wasn’t a good friend for telling her that
@@suntansuperman26 nah you needed to tell her how things are
@@suntansuperman26 damned if u do damned if u don't. This is the reason why I just say it. And if they hate me. Oh well. They got the truth. Thank me or hate me later. U'll remember what i said if and when it ends up how u were warned it would go.
@@anthonym840 trueeee no disrespect but the things you wanna hear aren’t that good the truth hurts but it’s the truth
There are 2 paths to the "choose better" statement. There is holding accountabilty and there is pushing responsibilty. Holding someone accountable for choosing the same type of person without learning from past experiences. Also there are the thrill seekers that like that danger in their lives. On the other hand there is pushing responsibility. That is when the argument that the young woman presents. Now if a 18 year gets into their first relationship and it's terriblel (non abusive) . Telling that young person "to choose better..." make more sense because they're young have room to grow. Now let's take that 18 year on 3 different paths. First they don't listen to the advice and keep on dating trash people. Second they take the advice vet better and after a while fins someone good and decent and they get married. Third, they take the advice and marry someone who presents as good and decent, but actually they are financially domineering, undermine their partners concerns, unfaithful. Still they present themselves as good and decent. That's when it becomes victim blaming. One can say "you should have looked at the red flags" and more likely the red flags weren't so prominent or they presented themselves as common flaws others have. Now you are saying you are responsible for the way this person treats you because you couldn't look into the future or become Sherlock and predicted certain behaviors.
Women will say anything in an attempt to absolve themselves from responsibility, accountability & DUTY.
Sooo... the guy at 3:05 to about 3:30 is on my podcast. Lmao I'm about to give him shit for this!!!
She is correct, there is a whole different person 6 months down the road. That’s why you don’t bed them right away. That’s why you take your time. See how he treats other women ie his mom, his sis and so forth. Also check out how others treat him. It’s a process not instant husband.
You out smarted her on this 1
I'd like to expound a little on the "Pick better men/women."
If you find yourself with a toxic person, not bad habits but a truly toxic person, definitely get out, and then take time to figure out what the red flags were, big and small. Until you've identified at least some of these, don't jump into another relationship. Then, once you've figured out those flags, be on the lookout for them. This is how we "pick better men/women."
I've found the saying "love is blind" to be wholly untrue. *Infatuation* is blind. Love should be eyes wide open.
Who uses mulit-purpose cleaner to clean an oven when it's so much easier and better to use oven cleaner