Then Joe thinks, "Punch, if it is spiked, that would be good. A sandwich, with that punch, would taste good right about now.[a long pause] Um, what was I talking about? Whatever, I could use a ham right about now.
Hahaha I love that they just keep the two towers references going through all of them What do your Joe don eyes see? A beer can lay here.. and a Twinkie Crebaindon, from Texas!
MST3K: "We stuffed dead raw squirrels into our mouths." RiffTrax: "Just lightly stun 'em and swallow 'em whole." Closest thing we got to a shared riff between the two.
"Sometimes Mike just trips!" "What's that pearl? Oops sorry Mike's tripping again" Greatest mst3k host segment ever.... And it just happens to be on this movie.
Hahahahahah what do your Joe Don eyes see? A tin can lie here. I love it. Not just a lotr reference but it's like he's literally the furthest from a lithe elf as humanly possible
Say what you will of this soggy Joe Don Baker "action" movie, I think the female lead is a pretty good looking woman but is a kind of proto-Julia Louis Dreyfus. Anyone else catching that vibe?
Honestly I'm not a fan of coming up with new riffs on things where they have already had the bones picked clean on. The Time chasers live episode was a bit dead because of that problem
Sometimes the movies got edited down to fit the format of Mystery Science Theater 3000 when it was airing on cable back in the day, and many of these edits were either due to time or explicit content. Rifftrax offers them the chance to riff on the full, uncut movie.
Now I know what you're thinking: Did I eat five donuts or six?
MariktheGunslinger The question is... are ya feelin full. Well do ya fatty?!
Fun Fact: The girl who played Maria is Dr Helena Dalli, Malta's Minister for European Affairs and Equality.
Interesting fun fact! Thanks for the info! 👍👍👏👏👏👏
She is drop dead beautiful. Or at least I think so. A hotter Julia Louis Dreyfus look almost.
1788468 and she’s gorgeous
No surprise she can't act then.
she's a socialist.
Somewhere I can hear Joe Don Baker yelling, "These bastards are doing it again!? That's it, this time I really will punch them!"
Then Joe thinks, "Punch, if it is spiked, that would be good. A sandwich, with that punch, would taste good right about now.[a long pause] Um, what was I talking about? Whatever, I could use a ham right about now.
@@stanmcserr8576 He thinks all that while scarfing down a pile of cheeseburgers.
@@aj7789 A pile of cheeseburgers ground up in a blender mixed with milkshakes because ain't no one got time to eat them one at a time.
Meanwhile, the retirement home nurses decide to up the dosage on Joe Don's meds.
@@idunbeezasmart1 Ain't got time for this.
I've been to Chocolate Malta. Nice place. A lot like regular Malta, but much more chocolate.
Any whipped cream?
Karl Hart Oh, tons. They import it from West Cheesistan.
You'd better run
or he'll steal your lunch
You'd better hide
your lunch
'cause he won't stop
till he gets his man
or your lunch.
You son of a
It's like Woody from Toy Story wished to be a real boy on a Monkey's Paw
One of my favorite MST3K movies and thank you Rifftrax and the 3 guys for giving this one another go! "A giant baby in a hat!"
"It's like a classic western…..omelet. Just a cheesy pile of meat and oil." LOL
I was going to say a classic western...bacon cheeseburger.
“May the lord guide this cap into thine ass!!!!”😂🤣
Hahaha I love that they just keep the two towers references going through all of them
What do your Joe don eyes see? A beer can lay here.. and a Twinkie
Crebaindon, from Texas!
MST3K: "We stuffed dead raw squirrels into our mouths."
RiffTrax: "Just lightly stun 'em and swallow 'em whole."
Closest thing we got to a shared riff between the two.
"In the name of God! Somebody put me on TH-cam!"
It's funny you should say that...
Mitchell and 'holster snacks'?
Yes, please.
"Sometimes Mike just trips!"
"What's that pearl? Oops sorry Mike's tripping again"
Greatest mst3k host segment ever....
And it just happens to be on this movie.
Waaaa.... I... IT'S URKEL!!!! HEY EVERYBODY IT'S URKEL!!!
I laughed so hard at the 'confession scene' that i couldn't breathe!!!!!!!!!
Same! I wasn’t ready
You think you can take me?
To a pizza place?
And Michael sneaks out of the booth to fly away in an escape pod disguised as a crate of humdingers.
"But I was gonna marry that donut!"
"I didn't kill all those people all by myself." (Yeah, you wanna hear that from law enforcement.)
Honestly I'd rather see what happened then. Whatever the Governor's brother was up to and lead up to the killings.
Starring a Bowling Ball in a Hat!
"He absorbed all the water!"
MEATBALLS FRIED IN LARD!!!!
High Cholesterol Plains Drifter!
04:55 “...or else I’m gonna come back and pay for sex.” 🤣😂🤣🤣
Newspaper Headline: Sheriff Geronimo single handedly ends all prostitution in Malta!!
Hahahahaha
My guns chamber exists in a constant state of quantum flux
There's an old saying in Texas that goes when in Malta make sure you only bring one suit
Especially when you’re trying to lay low! 😉
"Man, if only she was a roast."
6:17 Plot twist: this was the ancestor Abstergo wanted Desmond to sync with, but they chose not to because not even they're _that_ evil.
With Potatoes on the side...
7:07 - OMG....soda flew out the nose funny. Harrison Ford and his diarrhea!!! lol
Assassin’s creed after the hernia
"You think you can take me...."
".... to a pizza place?"
I LOVE this movie
“Except for your voice, face”.
😂 Went straight to their site and bought this one after that!
Aww can I have just one more justice?
Hahahahahah what do your Joe Don eyes see? A tin can lie here. I love it. Not just a lotr reference but it's like he's literally the furthest from a lithe elf as humanly possible
Great point Odin! True. The randomness Mike, Kevin and Bill come up with is genius shit
and don't forget, "a tin can lay here, and part of a twinkee!"
1:27 The Big Lebowski!
I hope there is a sequel.
"Please! Have some decency! Leave the lace curtains out of this!"
6:54
"NEW YORK CITY!?"
This actually happened to my family. We were in a smallish city in Texas and accidentally let slip we were from New York.
Great now when I go to bars I'm going to brag about making the kessel run
Really, you should be doing that anyway.
“He’s immediately hired as a flight attendant on United”
I was gonna marry that donut!?!
Can I get another meal?
"...WHAT?!!?"
meatballs fried in lard.
My-my-my-my-my Mitchell :3
My reaction to this riff:
You guys watch Joe Don Baker movies?
Now and forever, the question that stops the show.
That Kessel joke was TOP NOTCH just like my cheese puffs.
Mitchell 2 needs more money
Holy shit, it’s Mitchell! XD this is gonna be fun!
2:48 The gun belt theme
Seeing this years after the MST3K riff on Final Justice is like watching David Tennant Doctor Who, after enjoying The Talons of Weng Chiang. 🤓
Bwaahahahaha they left it open for a sequel!!!!
2 Boat Chases and 1 Dinggy chase as well ,Classic.
..."Chocolate Malta"...😂
Elaine Benis has a weird accent.
“En garde!” 😂
Bill McKinney from many of the Clint Eastwood movies was the guy shot by the pretty lady
Joe you need to loose some weight and soon otherwise you wont be Joe don baker you'll be Joe don bakery.
Say what you will of this soggy Joe Don Baker "action" movie, I think the female lead is a pretty good looking woman but is a kind of proto-Julia Louis Dreyfus. Anyone else catching that vibe?
In the original MST3K they made a "None of them are sponge-worthy" joke, so I think they get it
she was. now she's a corrupt politician (i wish i were joking)
Totally, an even hotter Elaine Benes I thought too. She is gorgeous for sure.
@@mariamicallef8151 Wow, that sucks!
Ah, Mitchell II.
Honestly I'm not a fan of coming up with new riffs on things where they have already had the bones picked clean on. The Time chasers live episode was a bit dead because of that problem
That's nice, dear.
I always thought Joe was kinda cute and who knew Hitler was in a basement in chocolate Malta? 😒🤔
This is never not funny
You sonova.....
Never really understood why they did these films again. Lack of material?
Fanservice.
Sometimes the movies got edited down to fit the format of Mystery Science Theater 3000 when it was airing on cable back in the day, and many of these edits were either due to time or explicit content. Rifftrax offers them the chance to riff on the full, uncut movie.
Is that the guy from Boggy Creek II?!? :O
Which guy? 🤔
You son of a…
Ah, Bill, Bill..."wherefore" doesn't mean "where," bro.
Mafia Priest Offering Forgiveness at the Confessional: Yes, yes, whatever you want. 😂