Heh, I recall as a young teenager in History class, the teacher stated something & wrote it on the board as he said it, my 1st reaction, "Should we write this down?" & as soon as I said it, my brain went "Doh!" & I finished the rest out loud, "Of course, because he wrote it on the board." The teacher was excited & said, "Who said that?" & I raised my hand the teacher, "No, who responded?", and I had to respond, "That was me." At first he thought I was confused, but then he realized I was serious that I had responded to my own statement. He looked at me flabbergasted, and said rudely, "How often do you argue with yourself & come to the right answer?" He made several more bombastic comments about my sanity. A couple of days later, another student did something similar, but actually was wrong in their assumptions. And the teacher, looked at that student, "That was stupid & wrong, at least when Lynn argues with himself he gets it right, then you do it & get the wrong answer." I still feel stupid relating that conversation, but it points out that sometimes you can challenge yourself, win or lose, but both can be a teaching opportunity, as long as you look for the knowledge you gain.
I know you've realized it yourself before, but it always bears repeating: the GM's at the table to have fun, too. Honestly there's always a little kernel of doubt at the start of every session I'll play if I'll be able to get it going, but it's much easier to keep it moving once it starts.
Have you ever failed because you were opposing yourself? Thinking about it, yeah. Way, way back in high school in particular it was common for me to practice failing. I couldn't shoot a basket ball to save my life. So I kept trying to make two and three pointers anyway, and I got a bit better at taking that in stride. Couldn't write poetry in iambic pentameter, so I drafted freeform poetry. And I put some impossible tasks in front of myself as well. Asking some girls out who were WAY out of my league for a start. Trying out for the military with little idea of what I was really getting myself into, just a willingness to see if I could make it. Lots of stuff. How could I blame myself, I was the person putting those challenges in front of me? In tabletop games, that looks like learning about playing the meta so that I know what I'm doing to play against that meta. I'm not a guy who likes over the top magic, my brain doesn't follow it well, so I enjoy those +1 swords rather than decks of many things. I'll take a cloak of billowing over a set of mariners armor. Or I'll sell a Potion of Greater Invisibility for four hundred common magical items or an absurd farming venture just to see what happens. Anyway, for me that also means being my own worst critique. I play my own editor, find the cracks, and don't shy away from pointing them out. doesn't need to be harsh word, just need to be red ink. That way I seal the problem before other people find them. And I fail at that too. My patootie relies on spell check all the time. And I have to go back over my phrases in writing to make sure I don't mess up. Point is I get through that process by being my own opposition. Yet the label of editor gives it this nicer spin, adds some comradery to it. My most specific example is this setting I've been writing for well over ten years. Redrafting it, making it more complex, adding content and context to it ever step of the way. It is a series of failures and learning from the ashes of days now far behind. In the end I'll have a "finished" product that resembles exactly what I look for in prebuilt settings. With sources cited, lore provided, and so much more. That takes time. It took time to get where I am now. And I'm still not done. With all that said, I think you're on the right track. I do hope this doesn't become a weekly occurrence. I wonder if it already is though, I would have to watch your Weekly after session battle reports for your Saturday game to know. In the past you've had some pretty strong performance anxiety going into them. Struggled with the whole "What is my job" and "Am I doing it right?" with regards to being a game master. Not to mention the fabled foe: "Is this what I'm supposed to be doing?" All that can be tough. Especially when that's the whole medium of TTRPG's. You make your own fun. Contrast that with something prebuilt like a wargame or a video game and it can be difficult to find a balance. It seems like you're doing exactly what I would recommend. Work things out for yourself, not just going with an extreme answer. Like what you mentioned with that Glenn Becker guy (I dunno how to spell his name). You really want to work things out and find a realistic, effective approach because you care about helping your son find a healthy balance of video games and other activities in his life. And that's commendable. I hope you keep applying yourself, advancing your problem solving skills and working through things. I imagine that as long as you do that and he sees it, your son will walk away with, at the very least, the knowledge that you genuinely want to impart a healthy life balance. And at some point in the future that will be his responsibility. He'll need to find balance between all the things in life that bring him joy because they don't just provide joy, they add to other skills and parts of ourselves. It's part of becoming an adult and finding your independence, identity, and voice as one. I hope you got something out of this. Good luck with your adventures.
Warcry is fun. Fantasy version of kill team. I’m 51 and still fighting computer game addiction. Computer games are still better for kids than watching any movies or tv which is garbage now. I make sure that my kids are not allowed to play computer games during school nights. They only can play on weekends.
@@zzgrom is Warcry better than Kill Team? Different? What do you like about that one? I think the no school nights makes sense, though I wouldn’t do the same - my son works hard to get good grades and be in class. It would be difficult for me to penalize him by taking games away through the week. I think I’m just going to work to find a mid week game that he loves.
@@FamilyTableTopMy kids at first were not too excited about it but they were playing Fortnite for hours every night. After complaining for a few days they started to discover new things to do like painting minis, wood carving, reading playing love letter, walking outside etc. I don’t see it as a penalty but saving them from becoming addicts and wish my parents were tougher with me when I was a kid/teenager.
Never tell players how the players how the sausage is made. Changing a monsters hp mid fight not cheating, it's encounter design on the fly. Telling players can, for a lot of people, ruin the experience.
For the part of "such a small thing, had such an impact". "The Pareto principle (also known as the 80/20 rule) states that for many outcomes, roughly 80% of consequences come from 20% of causes (the "vital few")." (Took that from wikipedia) I don't think that video games are evil per se. Some video games even teach you things. Elden Ring for example is good a learning how to handle failure since you will die a lot in this game. You'll learn problem solving from playing video games. Just as examples. But they can get pretty addictive if you have the predisposition for it, yeah. And it all boils down to dopamine. Video games are good for quick dopamine shots. I have adhd, played a lot of wow back in the days and need to keep away from MMOs or competitive games like Overwatch, League of Legends etc. because my brain will ultimately gravitate towards playing those games and not doing other stuff, which will give me less dopamine. I mean have you tried, involving your son in the DMing or preparation before the session? I don't know if it would spoiler him too much but at least for some things, that he can't figure out before the game? Or maybe let him try DMing a one-shot? Gives you a break and engages him more in it. Also for the part where you talk about others giving you their time and the anxiety coming from it. Gonna borrow a line from "40 year old virgin". "You are putting "the p***y on a pedestal" there. I know the feeling all to well but like I commented on your other video, pressuring yourself, will lead to pressuring everybody. I am in a similar situation where I am prepping the game for my family over Christmas and all the pressure of making it the best memory and the best session and I know if I keep it going like that until then, it will end in a disaster. So now I am dialing down my expectations about myself by 80% and it will be still great.
@@FamilyTableTop Well for the expectations, knowing yourself helps tremendously. I know that tend to have those expectations but I also know, that they are just completely out of proportion to normal human beings. Storytelling and crafting a cool story and by extension DMing, is a special interest for me. So I know and don't expect my players to watch 2000 videos about playing dnd, crafting stories, crafting encounters and so on. Reading books about DMing, even about monster tactics. Which means, that is just one big big indicator, that I can't use the same standards for my players. Do they get a free pass and need to do nothing? HEEEEEELLL nah. I don't expect stuff out of the ordinary from them. The only topic high on my list, that I want them to let me know asap is, if they have fun or not. For the MMO part, it is kinda the same. Knowing that I have this way of no-lifing when I am playing MMOs, helps me understand for which signs I need to look out. I know now, when I get the MMO/competitive game itch, it normally means, my mental health is either crumbling apart or shit is really going to hit the fan really soon. All this talk also makes me look like the most enlightened being on the planet but I am definitely not. XDD I just don't have kids for example and I just needed to understand and reflect on a lot of stuff that happened in my life. Also I am, compared to other GMs, "only" a beginner DM. I still make a lot of mistakes and also often times ask dumb obvious questions XDD
Heh, I recall as a young teenager in History class, the teacher stated something & wrote it on the board as he said it, my 1st reaction, "Should we write this down?" & as soon as I said it, my brain went "Doh!" & I finished the rest out loud, "Of course, because he wrote it on the board." The teacher was excited & said, "Who said that?" & I raised my hand the teacher, "No, who responded?", and I had to respond, "That was me." At first he thought I was confused, but then he realized I was serious that I had responded to my own statement. He looked at me flabbergasted, and said rudely, "How often do you argue with yourself & come to the right answer?" He made several more bombastic comments about my sanity. A couple of days later, another student did something similar, but actually was wrong in their assumptions. And the teacher, looked at that student, "That was stupid & wrong, at least when Lynn argues with himself he gets it right, then you do it & get the wrong answer." I still feel stupid relating that conversation, but it points out that sometimes you can challenge yourself, win or lose, but both can be a teaching opportunity, as long as you look for the knowledge you gain.
You as the GM are human too.
Don’t fret so much. Sounds like it was fun though
Hasn't most of us?
I know you've realized it yourself before, but it always bears repeating: the GM's at the table to have fun, too. Honestly there's always a little kernel of doubt at the start of every session I'll play if I'll be able to get it going, but it's much easier to keep it moving once it starts.
Have you ever failed because you were opposing yourself?
Thinking about it, yeah. Way, way back in high school in particular it was common for me to practice failing. I couldn't shoot a basket ball to save my life. So I kept trying to make two and three pointers anyway, and I got a bit better at taking that in stride. Couldn't write poetry in iambic pentameter, so I drafted freeform poetry. And I put some impossible tasks in front of myself as well. Asking some girls out who were WAY out of my league for a start. Trying out for the military with little idea of what I was really getting myself into, just a willingness to see if I could make it. Lots of stuff.
How could I blame myself, I was the person putting those challenges in front of me? In tabletop games, that looks like learning about playing the meta so that I know what I'm doing to play against that meta. I'm not a guy who likes over the top magic, my brain doesn't follow it well, so I enjoy those +1 swords rather than decks of many things. I'll take a cloak of billowing over a set of mariners armor. Or I'll sell a Potion of Greater Invisibility for four hundred common magical items or an absurd farming venture just to see what happens.
Anyway, for me that also means being my own worst critique. I play my own editor, find the cracks, and don't shy away from pointing them out. doesn't need to be harsh word, just need to be red ink. That way I seal the problem before other people find them. And I fail at that too. My patootie relies on spell check all the time. And I have to go back over my phrases in writing to make sure I don't mess up. Point is I get through that process by being my own opposition. Yet the label of editor gives it this nicer spin, adds some comradery to it.
My most specific example is this setting I've been writing for well over ten years. Redrafting it, making it more complex, adding content and context to it ever step of the way. It is a series of failures and learning from the ashes of days now far behind. In the end I'll have a "finished" product that resembles exactly what I look for in prebuilt settings. With sources cited, lore provided, and so much more. That takes time. It took time to get where I am now. And I'm still not done.
With all that said, I think you're on the right track. I do hope this doesn't become a weekly occurrence. I wonder if it already is though, I would have to watch your Weekly after session battle reports for your Saturday game to know. In the past you've had some pretty strong performance anxiety going into them. Struggled with the whole "What is my job" and "Am I doing it right?" with regards to being a game master. Not to mention the fabled foe: "Is this what I'm supposed to be doing?" All that can be tough. Especially when that's the whole medium of TTRPG's. You make your own fun.
Contrast that with something prebuilt like a wargame or a video game and it can be difficult to find a balance. It seems like you're doing exactly what I would recommend. Work things out for yourself, not just going with an extreme answer. Like what you mentioned with that Glenn Becker guy (I dunno how to spell his name). You really want to work things out and find a realistic, effective approach because you care about helping your son find a healthy balance of video games and other activities in his life. And that's commendable. I hope you keep applying yourself, advancing your problem solving skills and working through things. I imagine that as long as you do that and he sees it, your son will walk away with, at the very least, the knowledge that you genuinely want to impart a healthy life balance. And at some point in the future that will be his responsibility. He'll need to find balance between all the things in life that bring him joy because they don't just provide joy, they add to other skills and parts of ourselves. It's part of becoming an adult and finding your independence, identity, and voice as one.
I hope you got something out of this. Good luck with your adventures.
Warcry is fun. Fantasy version of kill team. I’m 51 and still fighting computer game addiction. Computer games are still better for kids than watching any movies or tv which is garbage now. I make sure that my kids are not allowed to play computer games during school nights. They only can play on weekends.
@@zzgrom is Warcry better than Kill Team? Different?
What do you like about that one?
I think the no school nights makes sense, though I wouldn’t do the same - my son works hard to get good grades and be in class. It would be difficult for me to penalize him by taking games away through the week.
I think I’m just going to work to find a mid week game that he loves.
@@FamilyTableTopMy kids at first were not too excited about it but they were playing Fortnite for hours every night. After complaining for a few days they started to discover new things to do like painting minis, wood carving, reading playing love letter, walking outside etc. I don’t see it as a penalty but saving them from becoming addicts and wish my parents were tougher with me when I was a kid/teenager.
Never tell players how the players how the sausage is made.
Changing a monsters hp mid fight not cheating, it's encounter design on the fly.
Telling players can, for a lot of people, ruin the experience.
This is what you do as a GM. If a fight is to easy add something. If it is to hard, take something away. Adding HP is not cheating.
Agreed when u do so it breaks immersion, and they see how u oriented the story.
@@scottgozdzialski6478Stephanie Plays games did a whole episode on Vibes Combat not long ago.
Both my games died of player apathy. I know where u were. My players fought too much and so I quit.
I’m so sorry to hear that- what do you think caused the apathy?
@FamilyTableTop Player Conflicts. In our house.
For the part of "such a small thing, had such an impact".
"The Pareto principle (also known as the 80/20 rule) states that for many outcomes, roughly 80% of consequences come from 20% of causes (the "vital few")." (Took that from wikipedia)
I don't think that video games are evil per se. Some video games even teach you things. Elden Ring for example is good a learning how to handle failure since you will die a lot in this game. You'll learn problem solving from playing video games. Just as examples. But they can get pretty addictive if you have the predisposition for it, yeah.
And it all boils down to dopamine. Video games are good for quick dopamine shots. I have adhd, played a lot of wow back in the days and need to keep away from MMOs or competitive games like Overwatch, League of Legends etc. because my brain will ultimately gravitate towards playing those games and not doing other stuff, which will give me less dopamine.
I mean have you tried, involving your son in the DMing or preparation before the session? I don't know if it would spoiler him too much but at least for some things, that he can't figure out before the game? Or maybe let him try DMing a one-shot? Gives you a break and engages him more in it.
Also for the part where you talk about others giving you their time and the anxiety coming from it. Gonna borrow a line from "40 year old virgin". "You are putting "the p***y on a pedestal" there. I know the feeling all to well but like I commented on your other video, pressuring yourself, will lead to pressuring everybody. I am in a similar situation where I am prepping the game for my family over Christmas and all the pressure of making it the best memory and the best session and I know if I keep it going like that until then, it will end in a disaster. So now I am dialing down my expectations about myself by 80% and it will be still great.
That’s really good - how do you dial down your expectations?
How did you deal with playing MMOs?
@@FamilyTableTop Well for the expectations, knowing yourself helps tremendously. I know that tend to have those expectations but I also know, that they are just completely out of proportion to normal human beings. Storytelling and crafting a cool story and by extension DMing, is a special interest for me. So I know and don't expect my players to watch 2000 videos about playing dnd, crafting stories, crafting encounters and so on. Reading books about DMing, even about monster tactics. Which means, that is just one big big indicator, that I can't use the same standards for my players.
Do they get a free pass and need to do nothing? HEEEEEELLL nah. I don't expect stuff out of the ordinary from them. The only topic high on my list, that I want them to let me know asap is, if they have fun or not.
For the MMO part, it is kinda the same. Knowing that I have this way of no-lifing when I am playing MMOs, helps me understand for which signs I need to look out. I know now, when I get the MMO/competitive game itch, it normally means, my mental health is either crumbling apart or shit is really going to hit the fan really soon.
All this talk also makes me look like the most enlightened being on the planet but I am definitely not. XDD I just don't have kids for example and I just needed to understand and reflect on a lot of stuff that happened in my life.
Also I am, compared to other GMs, "only" a beginner DM. I still make a lot of mistakes and also often times ask dumb obvious questions XDD
@@FamilyTableTop You talked about him that NPC in a Livestream you knew he was key.