Exactly. It's demoralizing being able to identify the unrealistic expectations I set for myself, the double standard of how mean I am to myself when those standards aren't met, all setting up the self fulfilling prophecy of failing either due to severe analysis paralysis or uncontrollable chronic avoidance procrastination and yet not be able to stop dragging myself down that hole over, and over anxiety attack after anxiety attack.
My eyes started watering watching this. I get so frustrated with how much I can fail my own expectations. I hate to see others in the same boat, but it's nice to have company!
Also, perfectionism absolutely does not make allowances for the fact that everyone (even neurotypicals) will have an ebb and flow of "ability to do." The perfectionism does. not. care. It demands 125% all day every day, regardless of how I'm doing physically, mentally, emotionally, etc.
That got me in the feels.. the saddest part is I used to be a perfectionist and lived closer to my potential, but everything you just described beat me down so much over the years that eventually avoidance took over, and now I just habitually work below my potential. So now I can’t disappoint myself because my expectations are low, but the underlying guilt is debilitating.. Anyone else? Just me?
This is so true. I have such grand ambitions that could never be met except by the greatest experts of the day and then I'm disappointed when I can't do it myself. That perfectionism is always there, always casting doubt, always tearing down, robbing us of all of the joy that we could have gathered from what we were doing, and it's awful. It's been such a terrible journey for me, especially since I haven't had anyone to really encourage me except for my mother. Thankfully, I've made some real friends recently for the first time in my life, and now things are looking up for me. It feels like it's been such a long time coming; I'm glad that I was able to stick through it this long.
It was absolutely a hard fight for me to have to find a way to force myself to be happy with what I was capable of doing in the moment rather than what I wanted to be capable of doing. Sometimes I still can't make it happen. But you're right, it is the positive reinforcement that allows me to be able to do that at all and keep trying my best even if I'll never be able to truly reach my own standards for my projects.
I appreciate you making these videos not only for those that have ADHD but so we can show this amazing teaching content to our loved ones. We are all blessed to have you and your content 💜
I used to think I did okay at some things (not as well as I thought I could/should of course, but decent compared to average people around me)… then I had one big and a few small situations where adrenaline couldn’t get me through a deadline (the big situation was months long and during the start of COVID, so I probably should have known better, but I still can’t give myself grace for it years later), and now I have a boss that only ever compliments me on the basic stuff I do (which feels insincere and placating), and ignores or gets annoyed with me for spending time on stuff that is important but wasn’t getting done by others. My already limited confidence is 95% shattered, and I don’t even trust compliments from my coworkers anymore.
This helps with sports, always striving to be better, even when you do well, never be satisfied with “good”. At least, it helps me with my sport (Axe throwing) always looking for that perfect score!
Aww that was a fantastic message, thanks for that. Different topic, this video is in HDR and I've just watched it in bed and it was still way too bright at the screen's minimum brightness. When grading in HDR, Please consider setting the white elements at ~200 nits and most of the content under that. Then I leaves room for highlights as well to be brighter instead of compressed, which is the real benefit of HDR for content. Otherwise its best to publish in SDR for most content, since Mobile/Laptop/TVs adjust the presentation to the viewing conditions a lot better.
Exactly. It's demoralizing being able to identify the unrealistic expectations I set for myself, the double standard of how mean I am to myself when those standards aren't met, all setting up the self fulfilling prophecy of failing either due to severe analysis paralysis or uncontrollable chronic avoidance procrastination and yet not be able to stop dragging myself down that hole over, and over anxiety attack after anxiety attack.
Oh man. This had me tearing up. Very very accurate. 😭💛
My eyes started watering watching this. I get so frustrated with how much I can fail my own expectations. I hate to see others in the same boat, but it's nice to have company!
Me too friend
Same!
Bro, this couldn't be more accurate!
Much love from Western Australia 🦘❤️🤙🏼
Also, perfectionism absolutely does not make allowances for the fact that everyone (even neurotypicals) will have an ebb and flow of "ability to do." The perfectionism does. not. care. It demands 125% all day every day, regardless of how I'm doing physically, mentally, emotionally, etc.
Omg I can relate 😭
So true. The point on perfectionism feels like as if he was describing me. 😅
That got me in the feels.. the saddest part is I used to be a perfectionist and lived closer to my potential, but everything you just described beat me down so much over the years that eventually avoidance took over, and now I just habitually work below my potential. So now I can’t disappoint myself because my expectations are low, but the underlying guilt is debilitating.. Anyone else? Just me?
Oh, that sounds very familiar
This is so true. I have such grand ambitions that could never be met except by the greatest experts of the day and then I'm disappointed when I can't do it myself.
That perfectionism is always there, always casting doubt, always tearing down, robbing us of all of the joy that we could have gathered from what we were doing, and it's awful. It's been such a terrible journey for me, especially since I haven't had anyone to really encourage me except for my mother. Thankfully, I've made some real friends recently for the first time in my life, and now things are looking up for me. It feels like it's been such a long time coming; I'm glad that I was able to stick through it this long.
i love this guy
now i am not only diagnosed ADHD, but also Asperger's
I often feel belittled by the struggles i deal with
It was absolutely a hard fight for me to have to find a way to force myself to be happy with what I was capable of doing in the moment rather than what I wanted to be capable of doing. Sometimes I still can't make it happen.
But you're right, it is the positive reinforcement that allows me to be able to do that at all and keep trying my best even if I'll never be able to truly reach my own standards for my projects.
I appreciate you making these videos not only for those that have ADHD but so we can show this amazing teaching content to our loved ones. We are all blessed to have you and your content 💜
Your videos are so underrated. You put into words what I feel like since years
I used to think I did okay at some things (not as well as I thought I could/should of course, but decent compared to average people around me)… then I had one big and a few small situations where adrenaline couldn’t get me through a deadline (the big situation was months long and during the start of COVID, so I probably should have known better, but I still can’t give myself grace for it years later), and now I have a boss that only ever compliments me on the basic stuff I do (which feels insincere and placating), and ignores or gets annoyed with me for spending time on stuff that is important but wasn’t getting done by others. My already limited confidence is 95% shattered, and I don’t even trust compliments from my coworkers anymore.
This helps with sports, always striving to be better, even when you do well, never be satisfied with “good”.
At least, it helps me with my sport (Axe throwing) always looking for that perfect score!
Aww that was a fantastic message, thanks for that.
Different topic, this video is in HDR and I've just watched it in bed and it was still way too bright at the screen's minimum brightness.
When grading in HDR, Please consider setting the white elements at ~200 nits and most of the content under that.
Then I leaves room for highlights as well to be brighter instead of compressed, which is the real benefit of HDR for content.
Otherwise its best to publish in SDR for most content, since Mobile/Laptop/TVs adjust the presentation to the viewing conditions a lot better.
True!
❤
THIS ❤️
It appears that haviny ADHD means that at your core, you're just a golden retriever wanting to be told he's a good boy. 🐶
Gospel.