Hope you all enjoy this fairly long video. If you wanted to watch my first Ted Lasso video, here's that: th-cam.com/video/1fHwkYgRBLI/w-d-xo.html And here's this Patreon link: patreon.com/mylittlethoughttree Instagram link: instagram.com/little_thought_tree If anyone wonders why all the patron names in the credit are so tiny, I don't know what happened. I only just noticed, kinda weird
As a therapist, I appreciate your break down and channel. There is also South Asian theoretical frameworks that are left out in your analysis which happens a lot because of our Eurocentric psychological programs that do not include authentic minority voices, such as acculturation issues, white identification, immigration family history, 2nd generational impact, self as others, etc.
i personally think all the fathers in ted lasso are unique and are very integral to the themes of the show. obviously you've mentioned Nate and jamies dads, and touched little bit on sam's. but i think ted's father, ted himself, rebecca's father, phoebe's father and higgins are all perfect examples of the fatherhood spectrum, representing divorcee's, cheaters, absent fathers, present fathers, and dead fathers.
Honestly many, even most big stories in our culture-and in real life, like politics-are about fathers who couldn't/wouldn't really love their sons, and created big problems for everybody.
Nate ALWAYS had that rage. Look how overboard he is when protecting the pitch before he knows Ted is his boss. Then how misogynistic he is when he thinks he's fired.
@Wiley_Coyote yes but he didnt insult because she was a woman...if a man was in the postion he would have insulted him still...it wasnt misogynistic he was just an ass...
One video I'd love to see is about Beard's impression of Nate. It's a take that I haven't really seen done on youtube yet. I have some ideas about it personally, but I think it would be an interesting topic to dig deeper...since Beard seems to be the only one noticing and paying attention to Nate's change in season 2. Beard, from just a television show perspective, has a role separate from his character, and that's to actually explain things to the audience. So just the fact that Beard is constantly taking notice of Nate is a continuous reminder that we, as the audience, are also supposed to notice what Beard sees. But I'd love to also explore Beard's literal reaction, not just the acknowledgement.
The worst part is, his dad's words of "Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less" is genuinely good advice, and advice he clearly could have used considering he turns into a poisonous little traitor by the end, because he basically only thinks of himself. The issue is it's ALL he ever got from his father. Validation was definitely needed along the line. Still, we each make our choices, and while that might be an explanation, it isn't an excuse
I caught this when first watching it. Perhaps his father didn't notice the story yet, and was getting to it, but the fact that Nate had point it out in desire for validation was needy. On top of it, his mother validated him, but he's constantly looking in all the areas he's lacking in rather than focusing on what he has. My man had great friends and a great job and he threw it all away so he could get more shallow attention; shallow attention that means nothing when you are disappearing from life, remembering your final moments as you inch closer to death, only able to recall who you stepped over for your own gain.
I felt like Nate showed traits of a malignant narcissist, especially in moments with Colin or the Will the new kit man, he belittles Will because Will represents the weakness Nate is trying to escape and he can't build himself up without putting something or someone else down. The praise he got from Ted was enough to build him up for season 1, but once he gets praised by the outside world via social media for his coaching skill when Ted has his panic attack. After that level of praise anything Ted could give him paled in comparison and probably also worked to convince Nate he'd not only outgrown Ted but was actually carrying him the whole time because this is more psychologically palatable than being dependent on Ted. Also this may be why he's been drawn in by Rupert, who also has been shown to have malignant narcissistic traits, especially in the way he derives pleasure from belittling and tormenting Rebecca.
@@samuraiadz3182 I only say malignant because narcissistic personalities project confidence so that other believe the facade and that helps the narcissist believe their own hype, where I feel malignant narcissism (might be the wrong term, I'll admit) has another aspect alongside it, in Nate's case he has to belittle someone or something to feel "bigger", including his own reflection. Rupert is the malignant narcissism in full bloom, Nate is just a budding flower that I'm sure Rupert will nurture to full bloom.
I don’t fully agree but I definitely see where you’re getting that from. I think that his narcissistic-seeming traits are actually desperate grabs for power, but moreover, confidence. (I’m only halfway through the video so forgive me if this gets covered) I think the severity of Nate’s insecurity, while definitely being covered thoroughly, is still not quite driven home. A lifetime, formative years especially, of not having anything but negative feedback has ground his self image down to nothing. From what we see of Nate’s father, he is a man of quiet confidence, and he doesn’t seem to believe in giving external validation. It comes off to me that he views it as an indulgence, perhaps even detrimental, the need for it being a character flaw. This is highlighted by the newspaper scene. Nate’s father KNOWS his son is seeking praise and not only withholds it, he instead turns it into a lesson on humility. It doesn’t play as contemptuous or malignant, he just seems disappointed. I think his self worth is entirely internal, not needing any external input at all. He feels pride without needing the approval of anyone else and probably views only criticism as constructive, as it gives him a means to better himself. He doesn’t value praise and tries to instill that trait in his son, ironically forcing Nate to the other end of the spectrum. Nate does need external validation, which is perfectly normal, but being denied it his entire life has ended up destroying whatever little inherent self worth he had. He has no standards for how to receive that praise and so idolizes figures that seem to be showered in it, people in positions of power and public success. He finally sees a path toward these and is frantically attempting to claw his way there, afraid that path will close. He believes if he isn’t constantly getting praise, it could return to nothing at all. Fear of that potential fall from grace causes him to overreact to any perceived threat to his goal of being powerful and he reacts violently. It feels more to me like, unsure what brought him thus far, he’s lashing out emotionally like a wounded animal, in fear and confusion. His fight or flight response has only ever pointed to flight and, while he now has a means of fighting, he has no experience to determine an appropriate level of intensity. We only actually see him put down three people and I think it’s very important who those three are: Colin and the new kit manager; who both represent what he sees as the worst version of himself, and Ted; the surrogate father figure who showed him his first glimpse of what he always needed and is likely still the person who’s praise he values most after his actual father. I do agree that Rupert is a narcissist and will likely reinforce those traits in Nate as positive over the coming season. I’m hoping Nate will have a redemption arc where he confronts his father and receives catharsis for his trauma, allowing him to reach a healthy balance for his assertiveness where he doesn’t need to weaponize it.
I think the most interesting thing this show does is also pair this type of character with an extremely similar type of character who represents a journey to confidence that doesn’t have the turn in Higgins, and it goes to show the difference familial support has on one’s humility.
32:00 this whole monologue from Nate is so sad cuz you can clearly see that Nate is trying to believe all the things he's saying, and Ted is just hurting both for himself and for how Nate is feeling. I can't wait to see where they go with Nate's arc!
One of the things that, after a couple watches, I absolutely admire and want to emulate about Ted is you almost never see him blame others for their feelings or outlooks. Ted could have easily, just as all of us probably felt, could have told Nate off, accused him of being entitled, selfish, bratty. But he doesn't. He doesn't even come close to it. He understands that the buck stops here, with himself. "Tell me Nate, what do I got to learn?" Nate IS being selfish, a brat, short-sighted and selfish. But either Ted doesn't see it that way, or he understands that TELLING Nate these things won't help him grow out of it, Nate has to figure it out on his own. He has to see for himself that he's not seeing the forest for the trees. What an incredibly sacrificing way of doing it. I don't think I'd have the foresight or the strength to let Nate rail against me like that and take it on the chin and let him be.
I never considered that Nate kissed Keeley was because he wants to be like Roy, and it very well could be part of why he did it, but we have seen that behavior from him before. When he finally makes the restaurant reservation he asks the lady at the desk out on a date. And he does the whole scene is a demanding way, or I guess he would see it as powerful. The two scenes seem to have a lot of similarities. In both scenes Nate gets what he wants, a reservation or a suit of his "own", and he immediately pushes the interaction into a sexual one. Yeah the reservation scene is played for laughs but other than that they are really similar.
He also picks out an all black suit to look like Roy, but he has a very superficial understanding of Roy. They left Nate's relationship with his niece out of season 2 completely (she helped him make the suggestion and collection boxes in season 1 and he seemed genuinely delighted to share her company) and seems completely oblivious to Roy's close relationship with his own niece -- he's picking up the "public" side of Roy, without understanding (let alone appreciating) the best parts of Roy.
Having got to Episode 7 of season 2 I'm actually really annoyed at what I'm seeing in the Nate storyline. And without going into spoilers, yes I am talking about the restaurant.
You were right about Ted being able to forgive. He forgave Rebecca. But he and Rebecca could only grow because Rebecca owned up and apologised for what she'd done. You're right, it's down to Nate to be accountable for his actions
I’m wondering what you think about Nate’s hair color change over the course of season 2. It starts out black/brown and ends up fully grey (like Rupert’s). It feels like a visual symbol of moving from a “kid” to and adult.
For me it felt that he "grew old" not become an adult. It's like his misery and resentment is eating him inside and made him old. Also, he's trying to emulate his boss at this point
For me it was like the same thing. He’s changing and a reminder that he’s old and tired of living his boring life. Remember it was his parents 59th wedding anniversary. So I assume Nate is 40+
Stress. Deep down he knows what he’s doing is wrong, and he’s on the wrong path but he can’t help himself. Also, in an early episode Nate confesses that he is terrified of aging (in response to whether he takes long baths). Sometimes our deepest fears manifest themselves when we take a wrong turn.
I think it would be interesting if you looked at Higgins who seems to occupy a similar character niche to Nate and also kinda transcends that niche but in a very different way
Very interesting comparison, I definitely see it. I think what ultimately separates the two is that Higgins is confident and comfortable in being a nice guy and does not try to change who he is
Higgins has the live everybody can just hope to have one day. A loving wife and amazing kids. He seems boring on the outside just because his life is already great.
This is incredibly insightful. Even though you've made Nate's actions in season 2 understandable, it doesn't make them forgivable. We know why he's a a-hole, but it doesn't change the fact he's an a-hole. He's an exemplar narcissist, literally never thinking about anyone but himself. If he's redeemed in season 3, I hope it's earned, rather than just dismissing his bad behaviour.
I'd call him a sociopathic or psychopathic narcissist: Nate has always been the hero of his own story. People like Nate routinely populate the lower tiers of power and they use what power they have in petty ways over others - just as Nate does. They obsess over relatively minor details, as Nate does.They inevitably see kindness as weakness over time (both in themselves and in others)and are eventually driven to plot the undermining and downfall of their mentors - as Nate does with Ted. Critically, people with Nate's psychopathology are highly over-represented as serial killers/rapists and other 'power' based crimes against others. I've heard them described as 'spiders' - typically lying in wait, prone to indirect attacks, depending on the situation. If pushed to direct attack, they tend towards blitz styles overwhelming their opponents without warning. These people become monsters when those above them either give them real power, or are removed from their position of control over 'Nate'. People like Nate never, ever see themselves as the 'bad guy', regardless of what they do they always feel justified in their actions towards others. The problem is that by the time other realised just how dangerous people like Nate really are, it is generally far too late.
@@dohadeer8242 I'm not sure his brain is physically in the place it needs to be a sociopath. He has been in survivor mode the whole time we've known him.
I do love how in season three we get a closer look at his father and their dynamic. I feel for the father "I didn't know how to raise a genius." He did the best he could, but he was constantly confounded by a child/teen that was just so extraordinarily gifted, that he didn't know how to challenge him outside of his studies except to be aloof in the misguided goal of pushing his son to be "better" in some ambiguous way.
I love the character arch that keeley went through, she went through a mentoring and rise as well. but she thanked rebecca and they had a moment of recognition and openness.
I never saw that as an arch for her. It always just seemed to be a part of who she is. In fact, as much as I like Keeley, she has had almost no character development throughout the series. We don’t really get a backstory for her so there’s nowhere to grow. Now, that is not a flaw of the character. She is still complex and delightful when she’s on screen. Not to mention Juno Temple could play a damn tree and make it complex. Really speaks to her as an actress. Keeley, from my perspective, has always been willing to care for others on her time, but is reiterated time and again throughout the show as the Independent Woman. She is so career focused that she failed to see that the vacation Roy planned for them was more for him than her initially because he had never gone on holiday and it was something he was desperate to share with her. She could’ve performed most of her duties from the resort. She chose complete focus on work over someone who really needed her. Being kind and grateful has always been a part of Keeley’s character DNA. It was evident in S1E1 where she was endeared to Ted after she saw him censoring her lady bits in Jamie’s locker. I do hope we get some resolution to her choosing between love and and a career or somehow managing both because as far as the end of season 2 goes, she can’t handle both and at several points becomes frustrated because one interferes with the other or infringes too much on her personal time. A great example of that is when she seeks escape from Roy during the part of the relationship where most people would still be in the Honeymoon phase. She moved on from that very quickly into being annoyed by Roy’s presence. Sorry I went on so long.
imo, Nate's value is to show and pop culture is to show that being mean and unkind is not exclusive to stereotypically socially successful individuals. Nate was mean and rude from the very beginning. and his meanness aids his ego and antisocial behaviour. his defensive behaviour is riddled w unrelated personal attacks that are meant to belittle not solve conflict or even express feelings. he specifically goes after things that are important to whoever he's confronting, and because he's so intuitive and smart he hits home almost every time. Nate is mean. this is unequivocal.
I love this breakdown, made me look at certain instances differently. The only thing I think could have helped your point was a later scene where we see Ted getting into bed and the picture Nathan gave him sitting on his bedside. I think it shows how Ted does feel about him, having the picture in a much more personal space. It also shows that Nathan projected his self consciousness, never thinking that Ted could have placed the picture where it has more meaning for Ted.
Can we just talk about how well they differ the thirst for respect and the thirst for power in this show? Nate and Nora gain the same opportunities to show their worth in the show. Although Nora's segment is shorter, it is shown so well how both Nate and Nora possess a thirst for respect, but Nate's thirst for power corrupts his thirst for respect. Nora is perfectly fine with just being a part of the adults because, as Roy says, "children just want to be a part of our lives." However, it isn't enough for Nate because he demands to be looked up to rather than an equal. Despite not getting his father's respect, I still don't think he would've magically been cured. It's going to take a serious character arc for Nate to overcome this one. I just hope it's not rushed and develops over a realistic setting.
Nate conflates power and respect, however he mistakenly thinks that power alone gives respect. Nora learns the opposite lesson from Rebecca - that respect conveys power (the 'Boss Ass B*tch' descriptor).
Please keep these coming man. Ted Lasso is one of the most sincere, funny, educational, entertaining show anyone can watch. That’s a big statement. And this is probably an echo chamber, but this show teaches you so well how to understand yourself and other people and how to navigate life in a productive, meaningful, happy life. Even when you have issues you have to deal with. And Nate is a mirror image of a lot of men in this world. There’s room to grow. There’s room to learn and be proud of yourself. Never take a Ted Lasso moment on face value. There’s always an underlying meaning
Thank you again for helping me understand a character I was struggling to empathize with! I have also had more sympathy than empathy for this character, and because I don’t personally connect with what it is to crave the felt sense of power, I was struggling to make sense of him in places, and empathize in others. I think you are spot on about even the stretches - his relationship to Roy, the cultural piece. This video sets me up so nicely to watch the next season with deeper understanding. Can’t wait for Season 3!!
As a fellow therapist, very much respect and appreciate your lens and love your appreciation for how great and important this show is for people to have access to with the current state of our world. Cheers! Great job! 😊
The bit at the beginning when you talk about Nate believing he deserves the punishment is also there when he tells Roy he kissed Keeley. He kept asking Roy if he wanted to hit him, like he wanted it. Like he felt all the things he did was wrong and he wanted punishment
An anecdote somewhat relating to this. Having been bullied myself when I was younger. I have for a very long time since then had considerable social power in my group of friends as I am the GM (game master) of choice most of the time. With my background I have made it a point to be inclusive of people even if they are awkward. Enter a new aquaintance that we play cards with. He is really quite annoying indeed, never knows how to shut up, constant need to affirm how cool he is even though he clearly is very awkward and needy. A friend of mine mentions that we play roleplaying games while we are playing a card game with him. He asks if he can join. I mentally slap myself for being principled but nonetheless goes "Yes" even though I find the guy annoying. He joins our group. Turns out he's a pretty good player and less annoying when he is included in our peer group. Then I find out that we have now given him enough confidence that when I am not around. He considers himself one of the cool kids and he is now bullying other people around him to increase his own sense of self worth. I feel like there is some scenario where that guy gets the validation he needs without turning into an asshole, but clearly joining my group wasn't it. Thus I found Nates story arc rather realistic since I have ran into similar though not as dramatic problems myself.
Something that occurred to me when I was watching season 2 is how Nate reminds me of No-Face from spirited away. Both of them speak to this fear I have, as someone who can be shy or a bit of a doormat, that having success and social acceptance built off of that success, might slowly bring out an ugly side of me. There’s something uncomfortable about getting something you’ve craved for a long time. You can feel both like you need to continually prove yourself, and resent the people to whom you’re always trying to assert yourself an equal. It feels terrible because wanting success and love and validation of your value as an individual can curdle into an ugly greed if you go without it for to long… it makes even the positive steps you take in your life feel like something you’ve stolen. If you feel like you have to fight for affirmation that you see others receive effortlessly, there’s something that feels really hollow about finally “winning” that fight. ultimately, love and respect are things people deserve-yet somehow for you they seem poisoned. Nate in season 2 really got under my skin because we’ve got a lot of the same issues, and I hope I never act the way he does-it really made me cringe and feel an uncomfortable empathy for him and everyone he took out his anger on. There aren’t a lot of stories that explore a character going from being bullied to a bully (you might see a character who’s more of an antagonist be revealed to have a backstory of being bullied) and I think it’s a very interesting dynamic because it chafes against what we want to see. An underdog triumphing in a way that makes us feel good, and the idea that shyness is sweet and being downtrodden imparts nobility and empathy. The truth is a lot more complicated, but it feels almost shocking to me when I see it portrayed in a story. I didn’t love everything about Ted Lasso but Nate’s character arc has been great. Thanks for the video, which has helped me think about his story in some new ways. Love your channel, and the healthy even-handed analysis you bring to character and story structure. It’s very insightful, and soothing in a way.
Maybe everyone deserves the opportunity for love and respect but actual love and respect are earned by mutual love and respect. Any healthy couple demonstrates this. The love we get comes from the love we give.
Hi Thought Tree. Not sure if you take suggestions but a movie you might want to analyze in the future is called "The Perks of Being A Wallflower". It's similar to Breakfast Club and Goodwill Hunting
I do indeed take suggestions! I'm also so disorganised and get so many, that they all get very jumbled in a big list. It's a film I once saw when I was young though and had a mind to rewatch someday
Nate's ability to hone in on the hidden truth of his "opponent" is actually his super power. He tells Ted he should be home with his son. And Ted's expression seems to prove it. This appears to be the crux of Ted's struggle in Season 3. If Nate can somehow come to value this ability he may be able to use his power for good. May be he will see Rupert's Achilles heal and help Rebecca let go of her toxic connection to her x-husband. That'd be cool.
A few notes from someone that is a fan of footie, Ted Lasso, and this channel! Nate's arc was based on a mish-mash of Anakin Skywalker and Jose Mourinho. (Anthony Head's character is the Palpatine in that arc of course). Nate's development from team assistant to world-beating coach....one whom eventually becomes unpopular with everyone else....is based directly on The Special One, who started out as a translator. His black suit, his whitening hair, directly taken from Jose's evolution over the years. Your analysis of Nate's fall is likely correct...but I'm interested in whether there will also be redemption...ideally without Nate needing to become a Force-Ghost! One thing I hadn't appreciated before your video: Nate's "wonder kid" flash of genius, beating Spurs in the FA Cup (S2E6?), lines up with your assessment - he instantly identified and struck at the vulnerability of the other team.
I definitely agree with the notion that redemption is possible, but not very likely. While those more optimistic about it tend to point to Jamie, we must also remember that the seeds were planted in season one for his redemption arc (the bonfire scene, the extra pass), but the seeds for Nate's downfall were also there in season one (a kiss-up/kick-down tendency, breaking the window when just barely driving his elbow). I know what they say about rock bottom, but if someone is driven by ego, it isn't very likely that person would go to where he was third or fourth on the managerial pecking order after craving to be the boss. That just seems to be a bit of a stretch.
By series 2 Nate shaves his hair down. As his hair grows in series 2 there is a lot more grey. I always figured Nate was probably dying his hair to avoid the self image of being an “old” kit man, and with it any feeling that his life was going nowhere. Nate loves the game, he loves it so much he is willing to put up with all the abuses as kit man, which warps his concept of cooperation into perceived submission and weakness. "You know, we used to believe that trees competed with each other for light. Suzanne Simard's field work challenged that perception, and we now realize that the forest is a socialist community. Trees work in harmony to share the sunlight." -Coach Beard to Nate Nate didn’t understand what Coach Beard was saying, Roy did. Nate understands the game but doesn’t understand that teamwork requires cooperation. Through Nate’s eyes the successful people never on the receiving end were arrogant, take for themselves, and famous. Series 3 may have Nate gaining big wins, but it will all fall down with Losses, and at that point he may be disillusioned when he receives berating from Rupert and/or the media and fans, showing him that no matter how much he advances “nothing changes”. Nate never learned how to deal with losing because he always felt he was a loser by the way he was being treated. I like to think Nate will get redemption in Series 3 while highlighting how beyond redemption Rupert is. Then again it may be not so feel good yet oddly satisfying arc wrap. In any case I enjoyed your analysis and it’s given me something to think about. Thank you!
I know this is a proper analysis but the gag where Nate is pacing back and forth in front of Keeley’s door too afraid to go in and then we see the reverse shot to show he’s not even in a corridor where there’s an excuse for visibly walking back and forth past the same door is so funny
I usually don't ever comment on videos, but I just wanted to let you know that this might be my absolute favourite channel on TH-cam. Your videos are super calming but also never boring. I don't know any other channel that consistently keeps showing me new perspectives like this. I'm always happy to see a new video from you so just wanted to say thank you for making them!
23:45 I think you hit the nail right on the head. Just because there is love doesn't mean there isn't also some level of emotional neglect involved. Where perhaps the child feeling like something is missing from their parental relationship(s) but they don't want to voice it because they know they are still cared about and loved, therefore they feel guilty for these feelings. As far as Nathan's father goes it seems to parallel some of the stereotypes of dads trying to "toughen up" their sons at the expense of his feelings it would seem and this translated into his confidence as an adult, or even possibly his self image as a whole? It does seem like Nathan has some level of imposter syndrome, at least to a greater extent than the average person has just going about their day. 32:35 Insightful take. I haven't read up on child development from the parent's perceptive yet, only the children's but it must be an interesting line to toe for parents in slowly allowing them more autonomy as they grow up, when certain things become more lenient and others remain firm until they reach maturity & transitioning them to a place as an equal either on a conscious level or otherwise. That is a reoccurring theme with some unhealthy parent/child relationships I hadn't fully conceptualized yet in the lack of equality or recognition as an adult and I'm intrigued! *full disclosure I still haven't watched the show so I'm only speaking from what I have seen from TH-cam lmao I really highly recommend the book "Running on Empty" and it's sequel book "Running on Empty No More" to anyone at school or work that has interest in exploring the concept of emotional neglect of a parental/ child relationship either in a professional and / or personal capacity. The author really digs into it in a way that few mental health professionals do I think, by categorizing the types of emotional neglect, such as a narcissistic parental figure, as well as how to address it as an adult healing from the experience. They are very good reads on the subject.
I reckon the guy who plays him must be great at acting, Nate seems kind of invisible in a way which seems at odds with the performative nature of acting. He's not as unlikeable now I can better understand his actions.
In addition to what I said below, I think I have a bit of a hard time empathizing with the defense of projection. I think it triggers some childhood wound in me. It feels SO UNFAIR to some young part of me, and I struggle to see the protective functioning, though cognitively I understand the global protective stance of seeing the threat everywhere, as well as how enacting it with a safer attachment makes sense. You are relentlessly empathetic! It’s something I strive for!
It's telling right at the beginning when he's shouting at Ted/Beard to get off the pitch, but then changes his tone when he realises they are his superiors.
There are two scenes with Nate's parents. His father ignores him, de-values him and as a result, undermined Nate's ability to develop self-confidence. Also, why didn't Nate's father buy him his first suit? Don't most father's buy their son a suit during their late teen years? His parents failed to adequately prepare him for the social expectations of being a professional adult. In addition, Nate's mother failed to protect him and demand her husband be a loving and respectful father. Nate experienced emotional neglect from both of his parents and it thwarted his development. He should be a confident man who is aware of his needs and wants and feels worthy enough to pursue them. Instead he's indecisive, insecure, ashamed of himself, emotionally immature and unfairly blames Ted Lasso for not validating him enough. Nate's insecurities and lack of resilience is the real culprit. Ted Lasso did not portray him. Nate looks outside of himself for validation and unfairly expects others to be attuned to his needs.
this is such a great video. I have so many thoughts about nate it's hard to gather them all coherently. First, because I feel it's relevant, Colin and Isaac's bullying of Nate in season 1 definitely informs the way Nate targets Colin in s2. With Isaac being elevated to team captain and jamie being brought back against the express wishes of Nate & Beard, Colin probably feels like the most acceptable target for Nate to get his revenge, so to speak. Two, Nate is consistently really weird with women, sometimes turning into outright misogyny (calling Rebecca a "shrew" comes to mind). Feeling threatened & ignored by women in s1 turns into resentment and anger when his new status does not come with the attention he feel he's owed. I'm not calling him an outright incel, but I think it's an easy thread for Rupert to pull on, him being a full on misogynist no question. Finally, I really really hope they give nate a redemption arc. I want to see him come back from this very badly- it would just be such a bummer if he stayed a villain.
Thank you! As a layperson enthusiast, I’ve been looking for an article discussing Nate’s potentially narcissistic traits. Very interesting. Brings to mind certain politicians…
The actor (don’t know his name) had a small role in the sitcom Uncle (another great show) as an earnest carpet store manager and he’s really good there too, as you’d expect
I wonder if Nate's change in hairstyle(s) in the season was just to signify his change in character or if it could also be the character's attempts to be seen as mature and commanding and less child-like or looked down on in his eyes..
I’ve wondered lately if Roy reacted to Nate with Keeley differently than Jamie because Roy respected Nate more than Jamie. In the past Roy saw Jamie vie for Keeley’s affection over and over again, sometimes in disrespectful ways, and Roy feels protective of Keeley because of that. But he knows that Nate is intelligent and very critical of himself and doesn’t feel the need to protect Keeley because he knows that Nate understands at the end of the day what is inappropriate, even if his subconscious takes over in extreme ways sometimes. Just an idea but would love to hear a professional weigh in on this!
I always thought it’s because Roy didn’t see Nate as a genuine threat to win over Keely, whereas Jamie obviously is with their history. Seems like the simplest explanation. Again, it’s infantilizing Nate. He’s just a little shy guy who needs help buying a suit. This is also demonstrated in the way that Keely reacts to the kiss. It’s not outrage, but rather shock and pity. She tries to console him saying “it’s ok” even though he is fully aware of her relationship with Roy. I think with most men making unwanted advances she’d tell them off.
nate is the result of a bullied person empowered , when i was in school there was an attempt to bully me , i didnt stand for it and ended up bullying the bullys so i got to see things in a rare light , bullys do it because its fun and when it stops being fun or gets boring a bully will leave it alone for a bit , but when you empower a bullied person theres years of rage because it was never fun and they dont know when to stop and ultimately go too far and become the problem and i found i would end up putting them in their place , it kinda becomes a self fulfilling prophecy where the behavior sort of justifys their previous treatment , this is where i came in to it , i only bullied bullys and only when they were picking on the little guy , roy had it right , get a bigger dog to stand over the medium dog to get them off the little dog , nate once empowered didnt know where the line was and took it too far , this depiction is quite real in my experience and ted did the wrong thing by getting nate to roast the team this actually turned nate in to the bully
I think they based Nate’s deco-mentioned in season 2 is closely matched with Eric mangini. He left a coach who knew how to make his players better and he thought he was the genius who deserved all of the credit.
This is a beautiful, comprehensive analysis. I think you're spot on all the way through. Predictions are fun to share and appreciate, but I wouldn't want to attach to a prediction to the point I can't enjoy the show if it went another way. That said, I feel confident that, in accordance with this show's ongoing mission statement, it will give Nathan the redemption he needs. But I don't think it will come in an obvious way. And his path to redemption will be a brutal crucible that leads him into a hell of his worst fears realized. So what would that look like? I think it will manifest as Rupert doing everything Nate accused Ted of. Nate thinks Ted is a phony? Rupert is a known phony. He thinks Ted takes all the credit for Nate's successes and leaves Nate to take the blame for his failures? Rupert will do those things without a doubt. And because Nate thinks strength is turning his own self-criticism outward on others, he will be the bad-guy coach, hated by his team, while Rupert will play the nice guy that the team loves. So even if Nate's tenure is a smashing success, Rupert will get all the credit, and Nate will be left alone. And even if you win, you can end up alone and sad. Ted understands that togetherness matters more than winning. Nate has yet to learn that lesson. He isolated himself from Ted, from everyone, and then blamed Ted for abandoning him. I imagine his father feels just as abandoned. And speaking of fathers, this is where I think the final season will really get interesting. Because as much as Nate has projected his father onto Ted, I strongly suspect Ted will project himself just as much onto Nate. Because Nate's anger at him mirrors his anger at his father. But that doesn't mean Ted will be sympathetic, quite the opposite. I predict this season will show us Ted's ugly side, his anger at his own uncharitable feelings toward his father, projected onto Nate's uncharitable feelings toward him. We're going to see Ted truly lose his way, focusing the team not toward being their best selves, but punishing Nate for his betrayal. And I predict this will backfire spectacularly. Nate will lead his new team to victory, and Ted will take it personally. He'll blame himself, he'll blame his team, and he'll become just as isolated as his father became. This will be Ted's crucible. Now don't get me wrong, I also firmly believe both characters will redeem one another. This show is about the healing power of positivity. But it's also honest about the hard road to positivity. And in this third, final season, it has to test its own premise to the utmost. It's gonna get ugly. But then, it's always darkest before the dawn, right?
Amazing video, as always. My prediction with Nate's arc for next season is that it will mirror what happened with Ted: he'll confront his actual father (instead of projecting to Ted), accepting and showing his shame (to some kind of conflict idk), while Ted won't receive the apology and respect he deserves. I think this would test Ted's innate forgiving nature.
Right now Nate is riding high and full of himself due to the phrase on social media, but when the team loses and the negative criticisms start, that’s when his ego will get cracked
The desire to be headbutted by Roy is maybe also a desire to be punished, sort of like him spitting on himself. He’s able to admit to something important and have people be mad at him for that, rather than have to admit to the real big mistake he made, revealing Ted’s anxiety attack to Trent. He thinks he deserves to be taken down for that, he knows how bad it was, and he’s looking for a way to be punished for it without revealing it. I love Nate for this reason. Your explanation and mine both could be true because he has such complex things going on inside his head.
I really live your thought on this! I thought it was a combination of that mixed with wanting to know he's valued and seen as a threat to Roy's romance, and the immediate dismissal/forgiveness reminded him again that he isn't seen as on the same level. That he can be dismissed as a threat.
I found that he didn't speak to Dr. Sharon quite telling. He knows he has a ton of issues, but he never spoke to her. He knew he might get told something he didn't want to hear. So he avoided her, just like Ted did.
One thing about Nate's relationship with his family I'm curios about is his sibling(s). We're never introduced to them, but Nathan does mention a niece when he made the suggestion box in season 1, which would mean he has at least one brother or sister.
Hi Little Thought Tree!! This video has made me realize so many things about myself and I'd like to read more about becoming an adult, and accepting you deserve a place in the world. Are there any books you can recommend on this subject?? I'm very very interested cause you have helped me immensely!
I'm glad it could help! ☺️ In terms of recommending books, it's quite tricky to do because I haven't often read books about specific issues so much as research papers, or books about broader topics. You may have to do some searching yourself there, however I will recommend the youtube channel HealthyGamerGG. He is a very good therapist who makes lots of videos offering more practical advice and explanation. I've never had enough time to explore his channel as much as I should but I imagine he's done a video on this sort of thing, it's worth checking at least
Great question and I identify with him immensely too. I've overcame most of my issues but there are still some to address, such as petty and verbally aggressive behaviour with people I see as inferior to me when they show what I perceive to be 'pathetic' or weak behaviour. In a good mood I can handle but when overwhelmed with pressure I turn tyrannical and bitchy in a second. Therapy could be an obvious suggestion, and personally I found a brilliant coach from a men's group, 'Awakened Man' - Richard Joy. He has a youtube channel too, although his content only brushes the surface of topics; the real magic comes from group sessions and one-on-one coaching. Note this is not the same as therapy, and therapy is probably more suitable to uncover the roots of things - although there's cross over, coaching is more about moving forward with a realistic plan. There may be many similar, though watch out for the know-it-all guru types. Other than that, I recommend reading the poem 'How I became a warrior' by Jeff Foster, and 'Diary with a CEO' interviewing Dr Gabor Mate (2022). This won't be all the answers you need, but it's a damn good start.
@@fayesouthall6604 Yeah, but over the rest of the series, Nate makes a huge deal out of it - and, to some degree, the people around him, too. To me (Austrian/German) it makes absolutely no difference, either way... :)
@@Zett76 Because its the constant correction, Nate hasnt had an opportunity to learn how to learn from criticism, so to him criticism is what you do to someone you view as a child.
I appreciated the insights in your analysis of Nate. At the time, it seemed extreme when Nate blamed Ted and it was helpful to revisit all the scenes that led up to it. Here are a few of my thoughts: • It's interesting to see Nate's transformation from "kit man" to "wonder kid" ... in his attempt to be manly he is self-identifying as "kid" • "Wunder Kind" is "Wonder Kid", so it's amusing/weird to see Nate transfixed with the errant "Wonder Kind" • Wordplay: Nate's coaching success isn't *kind* and childlike in a positive way (e.g. Ted) but rather exhibits a childish petulance • Rarely is Nate in street clothes (top of mind: at his parent's home and at the Greek restaurant). He's either in team kit or wearing his dad's suit, Ted's suit, or Roy's suit • This video often shows John Wooden's Pyramid of Success, but no mention of its significance: how success is based on qualities of character that enable someone to be the best version of themselves. Nate doesn't get it in series two; he thinks it is based on popularity, power, etc. It's important to note that Coach Wooden later in life realized that LOVE was missing from the pyramid. • Ted is a relatively inexperienced father (his son is young) and since his own father died when Ted was 12/teen he lacks the awareness to help navigate and assist Nate in life outside of professional relationships
I always try to lift people like Nathan up because I can see their good sides. I got so often treated like shit from the same people…. In the end you can’t change these people or help them… they have to help themselves.
I never understood the reason in season 2 his hair went from black to gray by the end of the season. I’ve always felt as a metaphor that this season was like The Empire Strikes Back of the show. I’m waiting just like everyone else for season three and hopefully it will be soon.
All in all a nice video, I just had a little trouble at times following your longer, a little more rambly, sentences. On the other hand English is not my mothertongue so there is that. Maybe, in addition to doing videos about Ted himself and healthy femininity, you could also give your thoughts on Isaac, Dani and Higgins... man there are so many interesting characters and interactions between characters in that show, I hope you can one day cover them all, because I think this show deserves it :D
Interesting that Nate didn’t go to Dr Fieldstone. The few who didn’t, Rebecca, Keeley, Roy, Beard, Higgins seem pretty sensible balanced people. Nate is not anything like that. Also Nate had little knowledge of Teds Therapy needs. Just noticed his dad doesn’t even look up when Nate came into the house. I can’t imagine a parent not saying hello, or nice to see you. His dad is probably more responsible for Nate’s weak feeling.
Roy Kent has a feeling. Not feelings. I also think it’s a different feeling to go suit shopping with with a mom or dad vs. a fashion icon/object of desire like Keeley.
Why does no one ever mention his hair? There’s a very clear arch with a statement he made, his decline of character, and how his hair greys significantly over the course of a single season.
I think Rupert will be the catalyst for Nate in season 3. At first, Rupert will empower Nate and give him agency like he’s never had before, but once the cracks in Nate’s constructed “Roy Kent the Legend” persona start to show, Rupert will either cast him aside or (more likely) outright abuse him. I think we’ll see the seeds of that starting in that first episode of season 3.
great video! I don't think there is a 'go back to your own country' element as you suggest, but more of a criticism of Ted as a father because he specifically says Ted should be back in the US with his son. Nate felt Ted was a replacement dad at first and feels betrayed by Ted and let down just as he's incredibly hurt by his own father. That comment about Ted and his son was spiteful and coming from a 'you're a bad father' kind of place, in my opinion. Also a 'small' thing, the photo Nate mentions isn't in the office but it's actually at Ted's home on the fireplace mantle
Let's not forget to praise Nick Mohammed's performance, especially during the season 2 finale. He broke my heart in so many different ways and yet still managed to make me hate him.
We've had such a short glimpse into Nate's upbringing but everything that happens in this show relating to Nate is definitely because of that experience.
I’m predicting Nates West Ham will underperform Rupert will berate Nate who’ll take it out on his team and he loses the dressing room and then when they play Richmond Nate tries to get under teds skin on the touch line
Excellent work. I’d like to hear more about whether Ted holds any responsibility for his relationship with Nathan. For example, Ted and Beard raised eyebrows and shared looks when Nathan was self-abusive or very critical and aggressive when talking about the team. They didn’t do much to guide him. It appears they mildly judged him and quickly moved on. Surely Ted would recognise he put a kit man in a management role and would have to mentor him?
Nate is a fully grown adult and no one is responsible for him, he's not a child and it's unfair of him to expect those around him to parent him and also be his therapists. These are people with their own problems too
@@JB_Fraulein_Kunst the same could be said for the players, but Ted explicitly sees his role as not just producing a winning team but also their development as people. I also think Ted was clearly *trying* to help Nathan grow, but just didn't understand him fully, and isn't really a priority.
I'd agree both that Ted probably would take some responsibility/blame himself, and that Ted shouldn't have to feel that way because it isn't ACTUALLY his responsibility...even if he might feel a little guilt. He tried to create a positive environment but he can't entirely change people. Sometimes all you can do for those who are lost in a dark forest, is wait on the edge, ready to embrace them if they find their way out
It’s nobody’s fault but sometimes there’s a bit of a pattern with miscommunication/misunderstanding when introverts like Nate befriend people like Ted. Nate has a history of emotional neglect so I get that the kind of attention from Ted makes him feel special until of course he realizes Ted probably acts this way towards everyone all the time. This is how I understood the climatic rant at the end of the second season. This and a lot of transference of course
@@JB_Fraulein_KunstAnd even as fully grown adults we still have a lot to learn and grow from. The job of a leader is always to guide those you lead as you are by definition responsible for them. I personally think that while Ted cant be blamed for everything Nate accused him of, there is some truth to Nate claiming Ted abandoned him. Nate clearly still needed guidance on a few things, and Ted either missed it or ignored it. But as you said, Ted had his own issues going on throughout the season.
I see Nate’s redemption arc in season 3 going as follows. At the beginning it’s all smiles and handshakes with daddy warbucks while west ham are winning and nobody there is willing to question his methods. His overly demanding and excessively vicious way of man management will be his downfall at west ham. Similar to mourinho, who Nate seems to be based off, the moment the team drops points and the team loses momentum he’s going to look to for places to shift the blame. His habit of selling validation from social media could end up further inflating his ego (again similar to mourinho) and lashing out at the qualities of the players available to him and their limitations in what they can do for him. Under the assumption that he’s essentially untouchable and that in order to keep him as coach Rupert will have to get rid of the player he seems to be rubbish and bring in the ones he demands to replace them. Of course Rupert is way too ruthless to entertain any of that and will fire him immediately and have another top class coach on speed dial ready to take his place as first team within minutes of his sacking. And the resultant downfall of the image of himself he had fabricated and public humiliation would be the rock bottom that would force him to seek help and to face his demons. Reconciling with Ted feels to be something he has to do for his redemption to feel complete. Maybe Ted links him up with the therapist that helped him and the players in the team. With the end goal being for Nate after atoning for what a prick he was, to take over at Richmond to continue Ted’s work there rather than destroy it, thus freeing up Ted to return to Kansas to be with his son. Of course Nate would have to learn now to roll back those sharp edges in order to genuinely be a better person and get along better with others. Or maybe coach beard takes over as head coach and Nate accepts a role as his assistant with beardy and Roy boy to keep him in check because neither of those two would hesitate to call him out if he steps out of line
because nate's mom and dad are so far apart in how they treat him, he never receives a sense of balanced parenting, or a consistent and loving way to perceive himself, as flawed but worthy (health). his mother idealizes him and his father devalues him (which is the same dynamic that exists between his parents). having to orient in completely different ways to your parents is disorganizing. certain thoughts and emotions are ok with this parent, but not that one. his father shames him and his mother rescues him. he has to "organize" himself in completely different ways in order to get along with them. he never experiences rupture and repair, which is the essence of authentic relationship. i can be good, i can be bad, and i am still loveable. i can make a mistake, and still be understood and forgiven. health is when we can accept the good and the bad. we celebrate the good and we learn from the bad (without shame). essentially, ted is the securely attached parent nate never had, and rupert represents nate's real father. if nate's real father would simply "delight" in him, he wouldn't believe he has to work so hard to be worthy. nate's dad hardly even looks up from his newspaper to acknowledge him. his mother has likely spent her whole life trying to compensate for the lack of care and acknowledgement from his father. she is the classic rescuer/martyr, and likely wouldn't know what to do with herself if she didn't have people to fuss over. a good parent is "with you" in your successes and failures. ted sees the good in people and tries to put them in positions to be successful. nate's dad never offers his son worth - and his wife likely waits on him hand and foot. yes, the covert narcissist is the one who finds subtle ways to make you feel like shit, without being so direct.
Hey now, some of us totally connect/identify with him. Feeling small and invisible and on some level feeling deserving of being treated small and invisible
season 3 was definitely the weakest season. There's a lot about it I still loved but I do have issues with Nate's arc. In honesty, I can't even remember what bothered me anymore (my videos often blur in my head after a while) but I made videos all about each episode of season 3, plus a big season wrap up, so I imagine it's in there somewhere
I think narcissistic traits may be a red herring but perhaps more histrionic. While not in the typically thought of presentation of sexuality, if we consider the underlying purpose of the histrionics sexually, Nate traits truly meet those. Namely, to hide the internalized malicious core beliefs of unworthiness and unlovable by casting for external validation. While receiving it, he is unable to accept it as truth because of the very same belief that drives him to seek it. Further aggravated by perceived infantilizing (some real like by his mother and some false). The perception though creates a shell in his outer self and further demands seeking of greater validation from greater glory. Roy and later Ted are threats not because they may take his glory but with their presence he has very examples how he still falls short in other ways, yet he cannot understand it cognitively but only emotionally. The spitting on himself in the mirror to amp up his anger and push himself to undercut his heroes. There is another element in Season 2 which you hinted at but would have enjoyed greater exploration, the replacement kit boy. This is a kid who takes the place of invisible weakling. The role which Nate played initially in the first season. Nate’s treatment of him was quite harsh and speaks to his need for downward social comparison. Every action that runs the risk of endearing the kit boy to the team, Nate strikes back at him with vileness and harshness. Showing desperation of needing to have him easily present, low as can be. A physical manifestation in Nate’s mind of how Nate actually feels about himself. There was a time or two in the season which I worried that Nate would push him so low that I expected the next episode to open with the kit boy’s body to be found. I’m glad the producers did not take it there. It would have been a darkness that in accuracy of its pervasiveness may truly have been risking resonating and created example of what the producers would have been trying to speak out to heal.
okay, can somebody explain this "wunderkind" vs wonderkid thing to me because i just don't get it. i'm german and "wunderkind" is translated exactly to wonderkid. it's the word for wonder and kid combined. what is the big difference between saying "wunderkind" or wonder kid? didn't get that in the episode either.
Yeah, you're not alone in your confusion. Even me, to be honest. Sometimes comments like this have popped up, and I've tried to remember back to when I made this video and been like, "what was I getting at?" I think what I meant (and they seem to mean in the show because they do make a big point about it) is that wunderkind is seen more like an expression, here. Just a classic phrase people use, whereas saying "wonder kid", even though it literally means the same thing, places more emphasis on the idea of being a kid. That's the best I can think, which does feel a little flimsly. I haven't watched the video back or the clip from the show, so I might be remembering my own thoughts wrong
My sense is that "wunderkind" is used to show a level of sophistication -- familiarity with other languages and also with the concept of a "wonder Kid." "Wonder kid" isn't really an expression English/American speakers use. "Boy Genius" is something Americans would say. So, it's a case of Nate sort of knowing this "wunderkind" word and concept, but his use of it is slightly off. Kind of like a malapropism . . . or using the word "conscious" when you mean "conscience."
Hope you all enjoy this fairly long video. If you wanted to watch my first Ted Lasso video, here's that: th-cam.com/video/1fHwkYgRBLI/w-d-xo.html
And here's this
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If anyone wonders why all the patron names in the credit are so tiny, I don't know what happened. I only just noticed, kinda weird
As a therapist, I appreciate your break down and channel. There is also South Asian theoretical frameworks that are left out in your analysis which happens a lot because of our Eurocentric psychological programs that do not include authentic minority voices, such as acculturation issues, white identification, immigration family history, 2nd generational impact, self as others, etc.
i personally think all the fathers in ted lasso are unique and are very integral to the themes of the show. obviously you've mentioned Nate and jamies dads, and touched little bit on sam's. but i think ted's father, ted himself, rebecca's father, phoebe's father and higgins are all perfect examples of the fatherhood spectrum, representing divorcee's, cheaters, absent fathers, present fathers, and dead fathers.
One of the major themes of the show is people’s relationships with their fathers, whether it be bad or good
Honestly many, even most big stories in our culture-and in real life, like politics-are about fathers who couldn't/wouldn't really love their sons, and created big problems for everybody.
Nate ALWAYS had that rage. Look how overboard he is when protecting the pitch before he knows Ted is his boss. Then how misogynistic he is when he thinks he's fired.
I'm not sure I'd describe Nate as misogynistic. He didn't ever seem to be disrespectful to women.
@@baku2461 "You shrew" isn't disrespectful?
@@Wiley_Coyoteremind me again what happened there?
@@baku2461 when he sees Will, he thought he was getting fired and lashes out at Rebecca
@Wiley_Coyote yes but he didnt insult because she was a woman...if a man was in the postion he would have insulted him still...it wasnt misogynistic he was just an ass...
One video I'd love to see is about Beard's impression of Nate. It's a take that I haven't really seen done on youtube yet. I have some ideas about it personally, but I think it would be an interesting topic to dig deeper...since Beard seems to be the only one noticing and paying attention to Nate's change in season 2. Beard, from just a television show perspective, has a role separate from his character, and that's to actually explain things to the audience. So just the fact that Beard is constantly taking notice of Nate is a continuous reminder that we, as the audience, are also supposed to notice what Beard sees. But I'd love to also explore Beard's literal reaction, not just the acknowledgement.
The worst part is, his dad's words of "Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less" is genuinely good advice, and advice he clearly could have used considering he turns into a poisonous little traitor by the end, because he basically only thinks of himself. The issue is it's ALL he ever got from his father. Validation was definitely needed along the line. Still, we each make our choices, and while that might be an explanation, it isn't an excuse
I caught this when first watching it. Perhaps his father didn't notice the story yet, and was getting to it, but the fact that Nate had point it out in desire for validation was needy.
On top of it, his mother validated him, but he's constantly looking in all the areas he's lacking in rather than focusing on what he has.
My man had great friends and a great job and he threw it all away so he could get more shallow attention; shallow attention that means nothing when you are disappearing from life, remembering your final moments as you inch closer to death, only able to recall who you stepped over for your own gain.
The words were good, but the delivery was the important bit.
@@tyler_da_wizThe sad part was that 4 words would have changed that interaction drastically. "Im proud of you".
I felt like Nate showed traits of a malignant narcissist, especially in moments with Colin or the Will the new kit man, he belittles Will because Will represents the weakness Nate is trying to escape and he can't build himself up without putting something or someone else down. The praise he got from Ted was enough to build him up for season 1, but once he gets praised by the outside world via social media for his coaching skill when Ted has his panic attack. After that level of praise anything Ted could give him paled in comparison and probably also worked to convince Nate he'd not only outgrown Ted but was actually carrying him the whole time because this is more psychologically palatable than being dependent on Ted. Also this may be why he's been drawn in by Rupert, who also has been shown to have malignant narcissistic traits, especially in the way he derives pleasure from belittling and tormenting Rebecca.
Bullseye.
It definitely explored his narcissistic traits, but I wouldn't go as far as calling it malignant. Regardless this is a great bit of analysis here :)
@@samuraiadz3182 I only say malignant because narcissistic personalities project confidence so that other believe the facade and that helps the narcissist believe their own hype, where I feel malignant narcissism (might be the wrong term, I'll admit) has another aspect alongside it, in Nate's case he has to belittle someone or something to feel "bigger", including his own reflection. Rupert is the malignant narcissism in full bloom, Nate is just a budding flower that I'm sure Rupert will nurture to full bloom.
@@joanjobs4359 thanks for the response, very insightful:)
I don’t fully agree but I definitely see where you’re getting that from. I think that his narcissistic-seeming traits are actually desperate grabs for power, but moreover, confidence. (I’m only halfway through the video so forgive me if this gets covered) I think the severity of Nate’s insecurity, while definitely being covered thoroughly, is still not quite driven home. A lifetime, formative years especially, of not having anything but negative feedback has ground his self image down to nothing. From what we see of Nate’s father, he is a man of quiet confidence, and he doesn’t seem to believe in giving external validation. It comes off to me that he views it as an indulgence, perhaps even detrimental, the need for it being a character flaw. This is highlighted by the newspaper scene. Nate’s father KNOWS his son is seeking praise and not only withholds it, he instead turns it into a lesson on humility. It doesn’t play as contemptuous or malignant, he just seems disappointed. I think his self worth is entirely internal, not needing any external input at all. He feels pride without needing the approval of anyone else and probably views only criticism as constructive, as it gives him a means to better himself. He doesn’t value praise and tries to instill that trait in his son, ironically forcing Nate to the other end of the spectrum. Nate does need external validation, which is perfectly normal, but being denied it his entire life has ended up destroying whatever little inherent self worth he had. He has no standards for how to receive that praise and so idolizes figures that seem to be showered in it, people in positions of power and public success. He finally sees a path toward these and is frantically attempting to claw his way there, afraid that path will close. He believes if he isn’t constantly getting praise, it could return to nothing at all. Fear of that potential fall from grace causes him to overreact to any perceived threat to his goal of being powerful and he reacts violently. It feels more to me like, unsure what brought him thus far, he’s lashing out emotionally like a wounded animal, in fear and confusion. His fight or flight response has only ever pointed to flight and, while he now has a means of fighting, he has no experience to determine an appropriate level of intensity. We only actually see him put down three people and I think it’s very important who those three are: Colin and the new kit manager; who both represent what he sees as the worst version of himself, and Ted; the surrogate father figure who showed him his first glimpse of what he always needed and is likely still the person who’s praise he values most after his actual father. I do agree that Rupert is a narcissist and will likely reinforce those traits in Nate as positive over the coming season. I’m hoping Nate will have a redemption arc where he confronts his father and receives catharsis for his trauma, allowing him to reach a healthy balance for his assertiveness where he doesn’t need to weaponize it.
I think the most interesting thing this show does is also pair this type of character with an extremely similar type of character who represents a journey to confidence that doesn’t have the turn in Higgins, and it goes to show the difference familial support has on one’s humility.
32:00 this whole monologue from Nate is so sad cuz you can clearly see that Nate is trying to believe all the things he's saying, and Ted is just hurting both for himself and for how Nate is feeling. I can't wait to see where they go with Nate's arc!
He can’t see anything not in front of him.
One of the things that, after a couple watches, I absolutely admire and want to emulate about Ted is you almost never see him blame others for their feelings or outlooks. Ted could have easily, just as all of us probably felt, could have told Nate off, accused him of being entitled, selfish, bratty. But he doesn't. He doesn't even come close to it. He understands that the buck stops here, with himself. "Tell me Nate, what do I got to learn?" Nate IS being selfish, a brat, short-sighted and selfish. But either Ted doesn't see it that way, or he understands that TELLING Nate these things won't help him grow out of it, Nate has to figure it out on his own. He has to see for himself that he's not seeing the forest for the trees.
What an incredibly sacrificing way of doing it. I don't think I'd have the foresight or the strength to let Nate rail against me like that and take it on the chin and let him be.
I never considered that Nate kissed Keeley was because he wants to be like Roy, and it very well could be part of why he did it, but we have seen that behavior from him before. When he finally makes the restaurant reservation he asks the lady at the desk out on a date. And he does the whole scene is a demanding way, or I guess he would see it as powerful. The two scenes seem to have a lot of similarities. In both scenes Nate gets what he wants, a reservation or a suit of his "own", and he immediately pushes the interaction into a sexual one. Yeah the reservation scene is played for laughs but other than that they are really similar.
He also picks out an all black suit to look like Roy, but he has a very superficial understanding of Roy. They left Nate's relationship with his niece out of season 2 completely (she helped him make the suggestion and collection boxes in season 1 and he seemed genuinely delighted to share her company) and seems completely oblivious to Roy's close relationship with his own niece -- he's picking up the "public" side of Roy, without understanding (let alone appreciating) the best parts of Roy.
Having got to Episode 7 of season 2 I'm actually really annoyed at what I'm seeing in the Nate storyline.
And without going into spoilers, yes I am talking about the restaurant.
You were right about Ted being able to forgive. He forgave Rebecca. But he and Rebecca could only grow because Rebecca owned up and apologised for what she'd done. You're right, it's down to Nate to be accountable for his actions
I’m wondering what you think about Nate’s hair color change over the course of season 2. It starts out black/brown and ends up fully grey (like Rupert’s). It feels like a visual symbol of moving from a “kid” to and adult.
For me it felt that he "grew old" not become an adult. It's like his misery and resentment is eating him inside and made him old. Also, he's trying to emulate his boss at this point
I think it's taking the mask off to reveal the real character underneath what he's presented us with. ;)
I was curious about the same thing. The hair color change was remarkable for sure! It was the outside reminder of his transformation.
For me it was like the same thing. He’s changing and a reminder that he’s old and tired of living his boring life. Remember it was his parents 59th wedding anniversary. So I assume Nate is 40+
Stress. Deep down he knows what he’s doing is wrong, and he’s on the wrong path but he can’t help himself. Also, in an early episode Nate confesses that he is terrified of aging (in response to whether he takes long baths). Sometimes our deepest fears manifest themselves when we take a wrong turn.
I think it would be interesting if you looked at Higgins who seems to occupy a similar character niche to Nate and also kinda transcends that niche but in a very different way
Very interesting comparison, I definitely see it. I think what ultimately separates the two is that Higgins is confident and comfortable in being a nice guy and does not try to change who he is
He’s like a more intentionally designed, lovable Jerry Gergitch ( parks and rec)😅
Higgins has the live everybody can just hope to have one day. A loving wife and amazing kids. He seems boring on the outside just because his life is already great.
This is incredibly insightful. Even though you've made Nate's actions in season 2 understandable, it doesn't make them forgivable. We know why he's a a-hole, but it doesn't change the fact he's an a-hole. He's an exemplar narcissist, literally never thinking about anyone but himself. If he's redeemed in season 3, I hope it's earned, rather than just dismissing his bad behaviour.
I'd call him a sociopathic or psychopathic narcissist: Nate has always been the hero of his own story. People like Nate routinely populate the lower tiers of power and they use what power they have in petty ways over others - just as Nate does. They obsess over relatively minor details, as Nate does.They inevitably see kindness as weakness over time (both in themselves and in others)and are eventually driven to plot the undermining and downfall of their mentors - as Nate does with Ted.
Critically, people with Nate's psychopathology are highly over-represented as serial killers/rapists and other 'power' based crimes against others. I've heard them described as 'spiders' - typically lying in wait, prone to indirect attacks, depending on the situation. If pushed to direct attack, they tend towards blitz styles overwhelming their opponents without warning.
These people become monsters when those above them either give them real power, or are removed from their position of control over 'Nate'. People like Nate never, ever see themselves as the 'bad guy', regardless of what they do they always feel justified in their actions towards others. The problem is that by the time other realised just how dangerous people like Nate really are, it is generally far too late.
@@dohadeer8242 I'm not sure his brain is physically in the place it needs to be a sociopath.
He has been in survivor mode the whole time we've known him.
I do love how in season three we get a closer look at his father and their dynamic. I feel for the father "I didn't know how to raise a genius." He did the best he could, but he was constantly confounded by a child/teen that was just so extraordinarily gifted, that he didn't know how to challenge him outside of his studies except to be aloof in the misguided goal of pushing his son to be "better" in some ambiguous way.
I love the character arch that keeley went through, she went through a mentoring and rise as well. but she thanked rebecca and they had a moment of recognition and openness.
I never saw that as an arch for her. It always just seemed to be a part of who she is. In fact, as much as I like Keeley, she has had almost no character development throughout the series. We don’t really get a backstory for her so there’s nowhere to grow. Now, that is not a flaw of the character. She is still complex and delightful when she’s on screen. Not to mention Juno Temple could play a damn tree and make it complex. Really speaks to her as an actress. Keeley, from my perspective, has always been willing to care for others on her time, but is reiterated time and again throughout the show as the Independent Woman. She is so career focused that she failed to see that the vacation Roy planned for them was more for him than her initially because he had never gone on holiday and it was something he was desperate to share with her. She could’ve performed most of her duties from the resort. She chose complete focus on work over someone who really needed her. Being kind and grateful has always been a part of Keeley’s character DNA. It was evident in S1E1 where she was endeared to Ted after she saw him censoring her lady bits in Jamie’s locker. I do hope we get some resolution to her choosing between love and and a career or somehow managing both because as far as the end of season 2 goes, she can’t handle both and at several points becomes frustrated because one interferes with the other or infringes too much on her personal time. A great example of that is when she seeks escape from Roy during the part of the relationship where most people would still be in the Honeymoon phase. She moved on from that very quickly into being annoyed by Roy’s presence. Sorry I went on so long.
Good perspective on Nate's issues with self-esteem and Nate's underlying feelings of inferiority. I enjoy these psychological analyses of characters.
imo, Nate's value is to show and pop culture is to show that being mean and unkind is not exclusive to stereotypically socially successful individuals.
Nate was mean and rude from the very beginning. and his meanness aids his ego and antisocial behaviour.
his defensive behaviour is riddled w unrelated personal attacks that are meant to belittle not solve conflict or even express feelings. he specifically goes after things that are important to whoever he's confronting, and because he's so intuitive and smart he hits home almost every time.
Nate is mean. this is unequivocal.
14:37
Remember folks, Jan isn't being rude, he's just being Dutch.
I love this breakdown, made me look at certain instances differently. The only thing I think could have helped your point was a later scene where we see Ted getting into bed and the picture Nathan gave him sitting on his bedside. I think it shows how Ted does feel about him, having the picture in a much more personal space. It also shows that Nathan projected his self consciousness, never thinking that Ted could have placed the picture where it has more meaning for Ted.
Can we just talk about how well they differ the thirst for respect and the thirst for power in this show? Nate and Nora gain the same opportunities to show their worth in the show. Although Nora's segment is shorter, it is shown so well how both Nate and Nora possess a thirst for respect, but Nate's thirst for power corrupts his thirst for respect. Nora is perfectly fine with just being a part of the adults because, as Roy says, "children just want to be a part of our lives." However, it isn't enough for Nate because he demands to be looked up to rather than an equal. Despite not getting his father's respect, I still don't think he would've magically been cured. It's going to take a serious character arc for Nate to overcome this one. I just hope it's not rushed and develops over a realistic setting.
Nate conflates power and respect, however he mistakenly thinks that power alone gives respect. Nora learns the opposite lesson from Rebecca - that respect conveys power (the 'Boss Ass B*tch' descriptor).
Please keep these coming man. Ted Lasso is one of the most sincere, funny, educational, entertaining show anyone can watch. That’s a big statement. And this is probably an echo chamber, but this show teaches you so well how to understand yourself and other people and how to navigate life in a productive, meaningful, happy life. Even when you have issues you have to deal with. And Nate is a mirror image of a lot of men in this world. There’s room to grow. There’s room to learn and be proud of yourself. Never take a Ted Lasso moment on face value. There’s always an underlying meaning
Thank you again for helping me understand a character I was struggling to empathize with! I have also had more sympathy than empathy for this character, and because I don’t personally connect with what it is to crave the felt sense of power, I was struggling to make sense of him in places, and empathize in others. I think you are spot on about even the stretches - his relationship to Roy, the cultural piece. This video sets me up so nicely to watch the next season with deeper understanding. Can’t wait for Season 3!!
at 34:00 to 34:20: "Here is a rare chance for Nate to push that feeling onto somebody else." I felt that.
As a fellow therapist, very much respect and appreciate your lens and love your appreciation for how great and important this show is for people to have access to with the current state of our world. Cheers! Great job! 😊
The bit at the beginning when you talk about Nate believing he deserves the punishment is also there when he tells Roy he kissed Keeley. He kept asking Roy if he wanted to hit him, like he wanted it. Like he felt all the things he did was wrong and he wanted punishment
I don't know if he wanted to be punished, but he wanted to be seen as a threat, as somebody worth punching.
An anecdote somewhat relating to this. Having been bullied myself when I was younger. I have for a very long time since then had considerable social power in my group of friends as I am the GM (game master) of choice most of the time. With my background I have made it a point to be inclusive of people even if they are awkward. Enter a new aquaintance that we play cards with. He is really quite annoying indeed, never knows how to shut up, constant need to affirm how cool he is even though he clearly is very awkward and needy. A friend of mine mentions that we play roleplaying games while we are playing a card game with him. He asks if he can join. I mentally slap myself for being principled but nonetheless goes "Yes" even though I find the guy annoying.
He joins our group. Turns out he's a pretty good player and less annoying when he is included in our peer group. Then I find out that we have now given him enough confidence that when I am not around. He considers himself one of the cool kids and he is now bullying other people around him to increase his own sense of self worth. I feel like there is some scenario where that guy gets the validation he needs without turning into an asshole, but clearly joining my group wasn't it. Thus I found Nates story arc rather realistic since I have ran into similar though not as dramatic problems myself.
😲
Something that occurred to me when I was watching season 2 is how Nate reminds me of No-Face from spirited away. Both of them speak to this fear I have, as someone who can be shy or a bit of a doormat, that having success and social acceptance built off of that success, might slowly bring out an ugly side of me.
There’s something uncomfortable about getting something you’ve craved for a long time. You can feel both like you need to continually prove yourself, and resent the people to whom you’re always trying to assert yourself an equal.
It feels terrible because wanting success and love and validation of your value as an individual can curdle into an ugly greed if you go without it for to long… it makes even the positive steps you take in your life feel like something you’ve stolen. If you feel like you have to fight for affirmation that you see others receive effortlessly, there’s something that feels really hollow about finally “winning” that fight. ultimately, love and respect are things people deserve-yet somehow for you they seem poisoned.
Nate in season 2 really got under my skin because we’ve got a lot of the same issues, and I hope I never act the way he does-it really made me cringe and feel an uncomfortable empathy for him and everyone he took out his anger on.
There aren’t a lot of stories that explore a character going from being bullied to a bully (you might see a character who’s more of an antagonist be revealed to have a backstory of being bullied) and I think it’s a very interesting dynamic because it chafes against what we want to see. An underdog triumphing in a way that makes us feel good, and the idea that shyness is sweet and being downtrodden imparts nobility and empathy. The truth is a lot more complicated, but it feels almost shocking to me when I see it portrayed in a story.
I didn’t love everything about Ted Lasso but Nate’s character arc has been great.
Thanks for the video, which has helped me think about his story in some new ways. Love your channel, and the healthy even-handed analysis you bring to character and story structure. It’s very insightful, and soothing in a way.
Maybe everyone deserves the opportunity for love and respect but actual love and respect are earned by mutual love and respect. Any healthy couple demonstrates this. The love we get comes from the love we give.
Hi Thought Tree. Not sure if you take suggestions but a movie you might want to analyze in the future is called "The Perks of Being A Wallflower". It's similar to Breakfast Club and Goodwill Hunting
Requiem of a dream- is a another suggestion I’d love to hear your thought process & how it is thought provoking is it to you
Ooh, I love Perks of Being A Wallflower and I'd love to see a video essay analyzing its depictions of mental health!
I love that one.
I do indeed take suggestions! I'm also so disorganised and get so many, that they all get very jumbled in a big list. It's a film I once saw when I was young though and had a mind to rewatch someday
I second that! My favourite line always stuck with me, "We accept the love we think we deserve".
Nate's ability to hone in on the hidden truth of his "opponent" is actually his super power. He tells Ted he should be home with his son. And Ted's expression seems to prove it. This appears to be the crux of Ted's struggle in Season 3. If Nate can somehow come to value this ability he may be able to use his power for good. May be he will see Rupert's Achilles heal and help Rebecca let go of her toxic connection to her x-husband. That'd be cool.
A few notes from someone that is a fan of footie, Ted Lasso, and this channel!
Nate's arc was based on a mish-mash of Anakin Skywalker and Jose Mourinho. (Anthony Head's character is the Palpatine in that arc of course).
Nate's development from team assistant to world-beating coach....one whom eventually becomes unpopular with everyone else....is based directly on The Special One, who started out as a translator. His black suit, his whitening hair, directly taken from Jose's evolution over the years.
Your analysis of Nate's fall is likely correct...but I'm interested in whether there will also be redemption...ideally without Nate needing to become a Force-Ghost!
One thing I hadn't appreciated before your video: Nate's "wonder kid" flash of genius, beating Spurs in the FA Cup (S2E6?), lines up with your assessment - he instantly identified and struck at the vulnerability of the other team.
I did wonder if it was coincidence or not that he looked like Mourinho by the end 😆 makes sense!
I definitely agree with the notion that redemption is possible, but not very likely. While those more optimistic about it tend to point to Jamie, we must also remember that the seeds were planted in season one for his redemption arc (the bonfire scene, the extra pass), but the seeds for Nate's downfall were also there in season one (a kiss-up/kick-down tendency, breaking the window when just barely driving his elbow). I know what they say about rock bottom, but if someone is driven by ego, it isn't very likely that person would go to where he was third or fourth on the managerial pecking order after craving to be the boss. That just seems to be a bit of a stretch.
By series 2 Nate shaves his hair down. As his hair grows in series 2 there is a lot more grey. I always figured Nate was probably dying his hair to avoid the self image of being an “old” kit man, and with it any feeling that his life was going nowhere. Nate loves the game, he loves it so much he is willing to put up with all the abuses as kit man, which warps his concept of cooperation into perceived submission and weakness.
"You know, we used to believe that trees competed with each other for light. Suzanne Simard's field work challenged that perception, and we now realize that the forest is a socialist community. Trees work in harmony to share the sunlight." -Coach Beard to Nate
Nate didn’t understand what Coach Beard was saying, Roy did. Nate understands the game but doesn’t understand that teamwork requires cooperation. Through Nate’s eyes the successful people never on the receiving end were arrogant, take for themselves, and famous. Series 3 may have Nate gaining big wins, but it will all fall down with Losses, and at that point he may be disillusioned when he receives berating from Rupert and/or the media and fans, showing him that no matter how much he advances “nothing changes”. Nate never learned how to deal with losing because he always felt he was a loser by the way he was being treated.
I like to think Nate will get redemption in Series 3 while highlighting how beyond redemption Rupert is. Then again it may be not so feel good yet oddly satisfying arc wrap.
In any case I enjoyed your analysis and it’s given me something to think about. Thank you!
Just finished season 2 & I’d watch a video like this for every character… probably multiple times 😅 such good supplementary content for this show!
I know this is a proper analysis but the gag where Nate is pacing back and forth in front of Keeley’s door too afraid to go in and then we see the reverse shot to show he’s not even in a corridor where there’s an excuse for visibly walking back and forth past the same door is so funny
I usually don't ever comment on videos, but I just wanted to let you know that this might be my absolute favourite channel on TH-cam. Your videos are super calming but also never boring. I don't know any other channel that consistently keeps showing me new perspectives like this. I'm always happy to see a new video from you so just wanted to say thank you for making them!
23:45 I think you hit the nail right on the head. Just because there is love doesn't mean there isn't also some level of emotional neglect involved. Where perhaps the child feeling like something is missing from their parental relationship(s) but they don't want to voice it because they know they are still cared about and loved, therefore they feel guilty for these feelings. As far as Nathan's father goes it seems to parallel some of the stereotypes of dads trying to "toughen up" their sons at the expense of his feelings it would seem and this translated into his confidence as an adult, or even possibly his self image as a whole? It does seem like Nathan has some level of imposter syndrome, at least to a greater extent than the average person has just going about their day.
32:35 Insightful take. I haven't read up on child development from the parent's perceptive yet, only the children's but it must be an interesting line to toe for parents in slowly allowing them more autonomy as they grow up, when certain things become more lenient and others remain firm until they reach maturity & transitioning them to a place as an equal either on a conscious level or otherwise. That is a reoccurring theme with some unhealthy parent/child relationships I hadn't fully conceptualized yet in the lack of equality or recognition as an adult and I'm intrigued!
*full disclosure I still haven't watched the show so I'm only speaking from what I have seen from TH-cam lmao
I really highly recommend the book "Running on Empty" and it's sequel book "Running on Empty No More" to anyone at school or work that has interest in exploring the concept of emotional neglect of a parental/ child relationship either in a professional and / or personal capacity. The author really digs into it in a way that few mental health professionals do I think, by categorizing the types of emotional neglect, such as a narcissistic parental figure, as well as how to address it as an adult healing from the experience. They are very good reads on the subject.
I reckon the guy who plays him must be great at acting, Nate seems kind of invisible in a way which seems at odds with the performative nature of acting.
He's not as unlikeable now I can better understand his actions.
That part about the go back home foreigner is exactly what I was thinking when I was watching the episode.
If anyone needed Dr. S the most, it was Nathan.
30:37 the music playing when Roy walks past Nate is very telling! It's beautifully done.
In addition to what I said below, I think I have a bit of a hard time empathizing with the defense of projection. I think it triggers some childhood wound in me. It feels SO UNFAIR to some young part of me, and I struggle to see the protective functioning, though cognitively I understand the global protective stance of seeing the threat everywhere, as well as how enacting it with a safer attachment makes sense. You are relentlessly empathetic! It’s something I strive for!
I loathe how much I relate to this character. Thank you for the video
It's telling right at the beginning when he's shouting at Ted/Beard to get off the pitch, but then changes his tone when he realises they are his superiors.
There are two scenes with Nate's parents. His father ignores him, de-values him and as a result, undermined Nate's ability to develop self-confidence. Also, why didn't Nate's father buy him his first suit? Don't most father's buy their son a suit during their late teen years? His parents failed to adequately prepare him for the social expectations of being a professional adult. In addition, Nate's mother failed to protect him and demand her husband be a loving and respectful father. Nate experienced emotional neglect from both of his parents and it thwarted his development. He should be a confident man who is aware of his needs and wants and feels worthy enough to pursue them. Instead he's indecisive, insecure, ashamed of himself, emotionally immature and unfairly blames Ted Lasso for not validating him enough. Nate's insecurities and lack of resilience is the real culprit. Ted Lasso did not portray him. Nate looks outside of himself for validation and unfairly expects others to be attuned to his needs.
As someone who feels a lot like Nate with dashes of Roy, Ted and Jamie… I love how they wrote Nate in season 3.
this is such a great video. I have so many thoughts about nate it's hard to gather them all coherently. First, because I feel it's relevant, Colin and Isaac's bullying of Nate in season 1 definitely informs the way Nate targets Colin in s2. With Isaac being elevated to team captain and jamie being brought back against the express wishes of Nate & Beard, Colin probably feels like the most acceptable target for Nate to get his revenge, so to speak. Two, Nate is consistently really weird with women, sometimes turning into outright misogyny (calling Rebecca a "shrew" comes to mind). Feeling threatened & ignored by women in s1 turns into resentment and anger when his new status does not come with the attention he feel he's owed. I'm not calling him an outright incel, but I think it's an easy thread for Rupert to pull on, him being a full on misogynist no question. Finally, I really really hope they give nate a redemption arc. I want to see him come back from this very badly- it would just be such a bummer if he stayed a villain.
Thank you! As a layperson enthusiast, I’ve been looking for an article discussing Nate’s potentially narcissistic traits. Very interesting. Brings to mind certain politicians…
The actor (don’t know his name) had a small role in the sitcom Uncle (another great show) as an earnest carpet store manager and he’s really good there too, as you’d expect
Nick Mohammed
I wonder if Nate's change in hairstyle(s) in the season was just to signify his change in character or if it could also be the character's attempts to be seen as mature and commanding and less child-like or looked down on in his eyes..
I’ve wondered lately if Roy reacted to Nate with Keeley differently than Jamie because Roy respected Nate more than Jamie. In the past Roy saw Jamie vie for Keeley’s affection over and over again, sometimes in disrespectful ways, and Roy feels protective of Keeley because of that. But he knows that Nate is intelligent and very critical of himself and doesn’t feel the need to protect Keeley because he knows that Nate understands at the end of the day what is inappropriate, even if his subconscious takes over in extreme ways sometimes. Just an idea but would love to hear a professional weigh in on this!
I always thought it’s because Roy didn’t see Nate as a genuine threat to win over Keely, whereas Jamie obviously is with their history. Seems like the simplest explanation. Again, it’s infantilizing Nate. He’s just a little shy guy who needs help buying a suit. This is also demonstrated in the way that Keely reacts to the kiss. It’s not outrage, but rather shock and pity. She tries to console him saying “it’s ok” even though he is fully aware of her relationship with Roy. I think with most men making unwanted advances she’d tell them off.
nate is the result of a bullied person empowered , when i was in school there was an attempt to bully me , i didnt stand for it and ended up bullying the bullys so i got to see things in a rare light , bullys do it because its fun and when it stops being fun or gets boring a bully will leave it alone for a bit , but when you empower a bullied person theres years of rage because it was never fun and they dont know when to stop and ultimately go too far and become the problem and i found i would end up putting them in their place , it kinda becomes a self fulfilling prophecy where the behavior sort of justifys their previous treatment , this is where i came in to it , i only bullied bullys and only when they were picking on the little guy , roy had it right , get a bigger dog to stand over the medium dog to get them off the little dog , nate once empowered didnt know where the line was and took it too far , this depiction is quite real in my experience and ted did the wrong thing by getting nate to roast the team this actually turned nate in to the bully
Great analysis ! Can’t wait for the third season to air !!
finally finished ted lasso! so excited to finally catch up with your videos on it :D
I think they based Nate’s deco-mentioned in season 2 is closely matched with Eric mangini. He left a coach who knew how to make his players better and he thought he was the genius who deserved all of the credit.
Glad you put this together!
the suit analysis is what really hooked me, bravo! i'm subscribing!
Thanks!
This is a beautiful, comprehensive analysis. I think you're spot on all the way through.
Predictions are fun to share and appreciate, but I wouldn't want to attach to a prediction to the point I can't enjoy the show if it went another way. That said, I feel confident that, in accordance with this show's ongoing mission statement, it will give Nathan the redemption he needs. But I don't think it will come in an obvious way. And his path to redemption will be a brutal crucible that leads him into a hell of his worst fears realized.
So what would that look like? I think it will manifest as Rupert doing everything Nate accused Ted of. Nate thinks Ted is a phony? Rupert is a known phony. He thinks Ted takes all the credit for Nate's successes and leaves Nate to take the blame for his failures? Rupert will do those things without a doubt. And because Nate thinks strength is turning his own self-criticism outward on others, he will be the bad-guy coach, hated by his team, while Rupert will play the nice guy that the team loves. So even if Nate's tenure is a smashing success, Rupert will get all the credit, and Nate will be left alone. And even if you win, you can end up alone and sad. Ted understands that togetherness matters more than winning. Nate has yet to learn that lesson. He isolated himself from Ted, from everyone, and then blamed Ted for abandoning him. I imagine his father feels just as abandoned.
And speaking of fathers, this is where I think the final season will really get interesting. Because as much as Nate has projected his father onto Ted, I strongly suspect Ted will project himself just as much onto Nate. Because Nate's anger at him mirrors his anger at his father. But that doesn't mean Ted will be sympathetic, quite the opposite. I predict this season will show us Ted's ugly side, his anger at his own uncharitable feelings toward his father, projected onto Nate's uncharitable feelings toward him. We're going to see Ted truly lose his way, focusing the team not toward being their best selves, but punishing Nate for his betrayal. And I predict this will backfire spectacularly. Nate will lead his new team to victory, and Ted will take it personally. He'll blame himself, he'll blame his team, and he'll become just as isolated as his father became. This will be Ted's crucible.
Now don't get me wrong, I also firmly believe both characters will redeem one another. This show is about the healing power of positivity. But it's also honest about the hard road to positivity. And in this third, final season, it has to test its own premise to the utmost. It's gonna get ugly. But then, it's always darkest before the dawn, right?
Amazing video, as always.
My prediction with Nate's arc for next season is that it will mirror what happened with Ted: he'll confront his actual father (instead of projecting to Ted), accepting and showing his shame (to some kind of conflict idk), while Ted won't receive the apology and respect he deserves. I think this would test Ted's innate forgiving nature.
Right now Nate is riding high and full of himself due to the phrase on social media, but when the team loses and the negative criticisms start, that’s when his ego will get cracked
The desire to be headbutted by Roy is maybe also a desire to be punished, sort of like him spitting on himself. He’s able to admit to something important and have people be mad at him for that, rather than have to admit to the real big mistake he made, revealing Ted’s anxiety attack to Trent. He thinks he deserves to be taken down for that, he knows how bad it was, and he’s looking for a way to be punished for it without revealing it.
I love Nate for this reason. Your explanation and mine both could be true because he has such complex things going on inside his head.
I really live your thought on this!
I thought it was a combination of that mixed with wanting to know he's valued and seen as a threat to Roy's romance, and the immediate dismissal/forgiveness reminded him again that he isn't seen as on the same level. That he can be dismissed as a threat.
I never saw it as a guilt thing, so much as being seen a worth hitting.
I found that he didn't speak to Dr. Sharon quite telling. He knows he has a ton of issues, but he never spoke to her. He knew he might get told something he didn't want to hear. So he avoided her, just like Ted did.
One thing about Nate's relationship with his family I'm curios about is his sibling(s). We're never introduced to them, but Nathan does mention a niece when he made the suggestion box in season 1, which would mean he has at least one brother or sister.
That's a very good point!
@@mylittlethoughttree Man.... The little details they put into the earlier seasons are crazy....
Hi Little Thought Tree!! This video has made me realize so many things about myself and I'd like to read more about becoming an adult, and accepting you deserve a place in the world. Are there any books you can recommend on this subject?? I'm very very interested cause you have helped me immensely!
I'm glad it could help! ☺️ In terms of recommending books, it's quite tricky to do because I haven't often read books about specific issues so much as research papers, or books about broader topics. You may have to do some searching yourself there, however I will recommend the youtube channel HealthyGamerGG. He is a very good therapist who makes lots of videos offering more practical advice and explanation. I've never had enough time to explore his channel as much as I should but I imagine he's done a video on this sort of thing, it's worth checking at least
Great question and I identify with him immensely too. I've overcame most of my issues but there are still some to address, such as petty and verbally aggressive behaviour with people I see as inferior to me when they show what I perceive to be 'pathetic' or weak behaviour. In a good mood I can handle but when overwhelmed with pressure I turn tyrannical and bitchy in a second. Therapy could be an obvious suggestion, and personally I found a brilliant coach from a men's group, 'Awakened Man' - Richard Joy. He has a youtube channel too, although his content only brushes the surface of topics; the real magic comes from group sessions and one-on-one coaching. Note this is not the same as therapy, and therapy is probably more suitable to uncover the roots of things - although there's cross over, coaching is more about moving forward with a realistic plan. There may be many similar, though watch out for the know-it-all guru types. Other than that, I recommend reading the poem 'How I became a warrior' by Jeff Foster, and 'Diary with a CEO' interviewing Dr Gabor Mate (2022). This won't be all the answers you need, but it's a damn good start.
Honestly was expecting a more psychological deep dive on his behavior, it felt more like an explanation of himself
Honest question: what‘s the difference between "Wunderkind" and "Wonder Kid"?
Because the German word means EXACTLY that…
It’s the reporter who corrects him.
@@fayesouthall6604 Yeah, but over the rest of the series, Nate makes a huge deal out of it - and, to some degree, the people around him, too.
To me (Austrian/German) it makes absolutely no difference, either way... :)
@@Zett76 Because its the constant correction, Nate hasnt had an opportunity to learn how to learn from criticism, so to him criticism is what you do to someone you view as a child.
@@tlpineapple1 Ah. Makes sense. Thx!
Right. It wasn't that he said it wrong, it's the humiliation he feels from being corrected on it so publicly
This is spectacular, thanks for demonstrating all this.
I appreciated the insights in your analysis of Nate. At the time, it seemed extreme when Nate blamed Ted and it was helpful to revisit all the scenes that led up to it. Here are a few of my thoughts:
• It's interesting to see Nate's transformation from "kit man" to "wonder kid" ... in his attempt to be manly he is self-identifying as "kid"
• "Wunder Kind" is "Wonder Kid", so it's amusing/weird to see Nate transfixed with the errant "Wonder Kind"
• Wordplay: Nate's coaching success isn't *kind* and childlike in a positive way (e.g. Ted) but rather exhibits a childish petulance
• Rarely is Nate in street clothes (top of mind: at his parent's home and at the Greek restaurant). He's either in team kit or wearing his dad's suit, Ted's suit, or Roy's suit
• This video often shows John Wooden's Pyramid of Success, but no mention of its significance: how success is based on qualities of character that enable someone to be the best version of themselves. Nate doesn't get it in series two; he thinks it is based on popularity, power, etc. It's important to note that Coach Wooden later in life realized that LOVE was missing from the pyramid.
• Ted is a relatively inexperienced father (his son is young) and since his own father died when Ted was 12/teen he lacks the awareness to help navigate and assist Nate in life outside of professional relationships
I don’t watch Ted lasso, but its reputation precedes it. I enjoy ur vids anyway
I always try to lift people like Nathan up because I can see their good sides. I got so often treated like shit from the same people…. In the end you can’t change these people or help them… they have to help themselves.
I can't decide if it would have been better or not if Ted had told Nate where the picture really was.
Speaking of Rupert... have you concidered making videos about Buffy?
I never understood the reason in season 2 his hair went from black to gray by the end of the season. I’ve always felt as a metaphor that this season was like The Empire Strikes Back of the show. I’m waiting just like everyone else for season three and hopefully it will be soon.
All in all a nice video, I just had a little trouble at times following your longer, a little more rambly, sentences. On the other hand English is not my mothertongue so there is that. Maybe, in addition to doing videos about Ted himself and healthy femininity, you could also give your thoughts on Isaac, Dani and Higgins... man there are so many interesting characters and interactions between characters in that show, I hope you can one day cover them all, because I think this show deserves it :D
Dude amazing video. Super good analysis 👍👍👍
Interesting that Nate didn’t go to Dr Fieldstone. The few who didn’t, Rebecca, Keeley, Roy, Beard, Higgins seem pretty sensible balanced people. Nate is not anything like that. Also Nate had little knowledge of Teds Therapy needs. Just noticed his dad doesn’t even look up when Nate came into the house. I can’t imagine a parent not saying hello, or nice to see you. His dad is probably more responsible for Nate’s weak feeling.
Yup, you can already see in S3 Ep 1 how he speaks to one of the West Ham players during a practice session. He wont be a team builder, definitely not
Woah your almost at 100k subs, just 100 more!
And now I've reached it!
Nate becoming the villain was so unexpected! What a great twist ! I can’t wait to see his redemption ark in season 3
Roy Kent has a feeling. Not feelings.
I also think it’s a different feeling to go suit shopping with with a mom or dad vs. a fashion icon/object of desire like Keeley.
Why does no one ever mention his hair? There’s a very clear arch with a statement he made, his decline of character, and how his hair greys significantly over the course of a single season.
This deserves more than sub 8k views.
I think Rupert will be the catalyst for Nate in season 3. At first, Rupert will empower Nate and give him agency like he’s never had before, but once the cracks in Nate’s constructed “Roy Kent the Legend” persona start to show, Rupert will either cast him aside or (more likely) outright abuse him. I think we’ll see the seeds of that starting in that first episode of season 3.
great video! I don't think there is a 'go back to your own country' element as you suggest, but more of a criticism of Ted as a father because he specifically says Ted should be back in the US with his son. Nate felt Ted was a replacement dad at first and feels betrayed by Ted and let down just as he's incredibly hurt by his own father. That comment about Ted and his son was spiteful and coming from a 'you're a bad father' kind of place, in my opinion.
Also a 'small' thing, the photo Nate mentions isn't in the office but it's actually at Ted's home on the fireplace mantle
Yep thats a good comment 😊
Loved this will check out other videos definitely all on Ted Lasso
Have you seen Shoresy? It's a very short show you could watch in an afternoon, and deals with sex, masculinity, foster care, body image
Well done, great video
Let's not forget to praise Nick Mohammed's performance, especially during the season 2 finale. He broke my heart in so many different ways and yet still managed to make me hate him.
We've had such a short glimpse into Nate's upbringing but everything that happens in this show relating to Nate is definitely because of that experience.
I’m predicting Nates West Ham will underperform Rupert will berate Nate who’ll take it out on his team and he loses the dressing room and then when they play Richmond Nate tries to get under teds skin on the touch line
He could try but it’s very public
Thematically Nate is the "it's the hope that kills you" mindset to juxtapose Ted's believe mindset
Excellent work. I’d like to hear more about whether Ted holds any responsibility for his relationship with Nathan. For example, Ted and Beard raised eyebrows and shared looks when Nathan was self-abusive or very critical and aggressive when talking about the team. They didn’t do much to guide him. It appears they mildly judged him and quickly moved on. Surely Ted would recognise he put a kit man in a management role and would have to mentor him?
Nate is a fully grown adult and no one is responsible for him, he's not a child and it's unfair of him to expect those around him to parent him and also be his therapists. These are people with their own problems too
@@JB_Fraulein_Kunst the same could be said for the players, but Ted explicitly sees his role as not just producing a winning team but also their development as people. I also think Ted was clearly *trying* to help Nathan grow, but just didn't understand him fully, and isn't really a priority.
I'd agree both that Ted probably would take some responsibility/blame himself, and that Ted shouldn't have to feel that way because it isn't ACTUALLY his responsibility...even if he might feel a little guilt. He tried to create a positive environment but he can't entirely change people. Sometimes all you can do for those who are lost in a dark forest, is wait on the edge, ready to embrace them if they find their way out
It’s nobody’s fault but sometimes there’s a bit of a pattern with miscommunication/misunderstanding when introverts like Nate befriend people like Ted. Nate has a history of emotional neglect so I get that the kind of attention from Ted makes him feel special until of course he realizes Ted probably acts this way towards everyone all the time. This is how I understood the climatic rant at the end of the second season. This and a lot of transference of course
@@JB_Fraulein_KunstAnd even as fully grown adults we still have a lot to learn and grow from.
The job of a leader is always to guide those you lead as you are by definition responsible for them.
I personally think that while Ted cant be blamed for everything Nate accused him of, there is some truth to Nate claiming Ted abandoned him. Nate clearly still needed guidance on a few things, and Ted either missed it or ignored it. But as you said, Ted had his own issues going on throughout the season.
I see Nate’s redemption arc in season 3 going as follows. At the beginning it’s all smiles and handshakes with daddy warbucks while west ham are winning and nobody there is willing to question his methods. His overly demanding and excessively vicious way of man management will be his downfall at west ham. Similar to mourinho, who Nate seems to be based off, the moment the team drops points and the team loses momentum he’s going to look to for places to shift the blame. His habit of selling validation from social media could end up further inflating his ego (again similar to mourinho) and lashing out at the qualities of the players available to him and their limitations in what they can do for him. Under the assumption that he’s essentially untouchable and that in order to keep him as coach Rupert will have to get rid of the player he seems to be rubbish and bring in the ones he demands to replace them. Of course Rupert is way too ruthless to entertain any of that and will fire him immediately and have another top class coach on speed dial ready to take his place as first team within minutes of his sacking. And the resultant downfall of the image of himself he had fabricated and public humiliation would be the rock bottom that would force him to seek help and to face his demons. Reconciling with Ted feels to be something he has to do for his redemption to feel complete. Maybe Ted links him up with the therapist that helped him and the players in the team. With the end goal being for Nate after atoning for what a prick he was, to take over at Richmond to continue Ted’s work there rather than destroy it, thus freeing up Ted to return to Kansas to be with his son. Of course Nate would have to learn now to roll back those sharp edges in order to genuinely be a better person and get along better with others. Or maybe coach beard takes over as head coach and Nate accepts a role as his assistant with beardy and Roy boy to keep him in check because neither of those two would hesitate to call him out if he steps out of line
because nate's mom and dad are so far apart in how they treat him, he never receives a sense of balanced parenting, or a consistent and loving way to perceive himself, as flawed but worthy (health). his mother idealizes him and his father devalues him (which is the same dynamic that exists between his parents). having to orient in completely different ways to your parents is disorganizing. certain thoughts and emotions are ok with this parent, but not that one. his father shames him and his mother rescues him. he has to "organize" himself in completely different ways in order to get along with them. he never experiences rupture and repair, which is the essence of authentic relationship. i can be good, i can be bad, and i am still loveable. i can make a mistake, and still be understood and forgiven. health is when we can accept the good and the bad. we celebrate the good and we learn from the bad (without shame). essentially, ted is the securely attached parent nate never had, and rupert represents nate's real father. if nate's real father would simply "delight" in him, he wouldn't believe he has to work so hard to be worthy. nate's dad hardly even looks up from his newspaper to acknowledge him. his mother has likely spent her whole life trying to compensate for the lack of care and acknowledgement from his father. she is the classic rescuer/martyr, and likely wouldn't know what to do with herself if she didn't have people to fuss over. a good parent is "with you" in your successes and failures. ted sees the good in people and tries to put them in positions to be successful. nate's dad never offers his son worth - and his wife likely waits on him hand and foot. yes, the covert narcissist is the one who finds subtle ways to make you feel like shit, without being so direct.
Hey now, some of us totally connect/identify with him. Feeling small and invisible and on some level feeling deserving of being treated small and invisible
Yeah, unfortunately many of us do. Really not an easy feeling at all. Hope you can also be kind to yourself
Nate deserves no redemption in S3, but my guess is that they're gonna shoehorn that in anyway.
How did you feel after season 3? Nathan didn't fail at being a manager.
season 3 was definitely the weakest season. There's a lot about it I still loved but I do have issues with Nate's arc. In honesty, I can't even remember what bothered me anymore (my videos often blur in my head after a while) but I made videos all about each episode of season 3, plus a big season wrap up, so I imagine it's in there somewhere
I think narcissistic traits may be a red herring but perhaps more histrionic. While not in the typically thought of presentation of sexuality, if we consider the underlying purpose of the histrionics sexually, Nate traits truly meet those. Namely, to hide the internalized malicious core beliefs of unworthiness and unlovable by casting for external validation. While receiving it, he is unable to accept it as truth because of the very same belief that drives him to seek it. Further aggravated by perceived infantilizing (some real like by his mother and some false). The perception though creates a shell in his outer self and further demands seeking of greater validation from greater glory. Roy and later Ted are threats not because they may take his glory but with their presence he has very examples how he still falls short in other ways, yet he cannot understand it cognitively but only emotionally. The spitting on himself in the mirror to amp up his anger and push himself to undercut his heroes.
There is another element in Season 2 which you hinted at but would have enjoyed greater exploration, the replacement kit boy. This is a kid who takes the place of invisible weakling. The role which Nate played initially in the first season. Nate’s treatment of him was quite harsh and speaks to his need for downward social comparison. Every action that runs the risk of endearing the kit boy to the team, Nate strikes back at him with vileness and harshness. Showing desperation of needing to have him easily present, low as can be. A physical manifestation in Nate’s mind of how Nate actually feels about himself. There was a time or two in the season which I worried that Nate would push him so low that I expected the next episode to open with the kit boy’s body to be found. I’m glad the producers did not take it there. It would have been a darkness that in accuracy of its pervasiveness may truly have been risking resonating and created example of what the producers would have been trying to speak out to heal.
Redo the video now that the show is finished for better context on S3 nate?
Interesting.
okay, can somebody explain this "wunderkind" vs wonderkid thing to me because i just don't get it. i'm german and "wunderkind" is translated exactly to wonderkid. it's the word for wonder and kid combined. what is the big difference between saying "wunderkind" or wonder kid? didn't get that in the episode either.
Yeah, you're not alone in your confusion. Even me, to be honest. Sometimes comments like this have popped up, and I've tried to remember back to when I made this video and been like, "what was I getting at?"
I think what I meant (and they seem to mean in the show because they do make a big point about it) is that wunderkind is seen more like an expression, here. Just a classic phrase people use, whereas saying "wonder kid", even though it literally means the same thing, places more emphasis on the idea of being a kid.
That's the best I can think, which does feel a little flimsly. I haven't watched the video back or the clip from the show, so I might be remembering my own thoughts wrong
My sense is that "wunderkind" is used to show a level of sophistication -- familiarity with other languages and also with the concept of a "wonder Kid." "Wonder kid" isn't really an expression English/American speakers use. "Boy Genius" is something Americans would say. So, it's a case of Nate sort of knowing this "wunderkind" word and concept, but his use of it is slightly off. Kind of like a malapropism . . . or using the word "conscious" when you mean "conscience."