Everyone have in laws. My only advice for all the Nyabs are to treat your in laws how you would want your own parents to be treated. The golden rule applies, “treat others how you would like to be treated.” As a Nyab, it’s ok if you don’t take care of your in laws if they didn’t love you. But if they loved you, their tears will turn into curse if you are evil to them. You will surely be judged. Also, if Nyab don’t want to care for in laws, don’t be mean to them and mistreat them. Allow your spouse to care for his mother as he please. And don’t be so evil. 👿
Ua neeg nyob es peb yuav tsum hlub peb cov niam thiab os mog. Ua cas peb cov niam lawv laus tau ntxim2 hlub li os. Kuv niam los txom2 nyem siab li no thiab os lawv aw…
Karma will come around. I believe in karma. Most daughters-in-law only want you when you can still help them. Once you can't help others, you are useless to them. This generation is like that.
thaum tub tseem noj niam mis ces tub yeej mloog niam lus.tam sim no tub ho noj nyab mis ces tub kawg mloog nyab lus nyab hais li cas ces tub kawg ua li ntawd xwb.tiam tshiab no cov hluas yeej coj li no.
She is teaching her kids to treat her when she is old. Don’t worry about it. What’s go around will come around. What go up must come down. I hope will reap what she saw very soon.🙏🙏🙏😢
Zaj no mas cas yuav txaus tu siab ua luaj li os ntuj aw. Kuv nim ke mloog ke quaj tag nrho zaj neej neeg no. Lub neej yog zoo li no xwb ces tsis muaj tub los txhob ntshaw thiab. Cov niag tub poob peev li no thaum xeeb rau hauv plab paub tias yog tub no ces muab tshem pov tseg txhob yug los tsim txom yus thiaj tsis tu tu siab.
Why blame the nyab…it’s ain’t her job. The old lady’s own kids didn’t even do it. All them two did was blaming each other back and forth, be jealous of each other that mother love who most and who will get mama’s leftovers, but expect nyab to take care and change diapers?…ho! If nyab is evil then what mama’s brats be…devils?
Alot of the ladies here are bashing and cursing the nyab but can they take care of their elderly disabled in-laws every single day when they work full-time, take care of the children, and household? It’s easy to point out the bad in someone else when we don’t know their situation. If the daughter-in-law was physically abusing the mother-in-law intentionally, that’s criminal.
Oh, just muam kus kes xwb. She’s just one mouth full of bad things to say. She wouldn’t take responsibility…she was afraid that mama will die on her, peeps. She jealous mama loved her less.
Don't be so hard on your brother. He's in the middle. I am sure he was as stressful as you and loved your mother as much as you. It doesn't make him less of a man or human. He probably didn't want to lose his kids and end up with child support. Child support is a pain. If he was to step up and be the man you wanted. Would you have helped him pay for child support until all his kids turn 18? I don't think so. Its good you took your mother in and helped as much you could. I applaud you Sister. Don't worry too much about your brother, as long as he is alive and healthy. Let him be. Focus on your life.
I cannot bash on the Nyab. Hmong culture expectations are a$$ backwards. Why is the Nyab expected to care for the MIL when the Nyab is an outsider. The MIL has never taken care of the Nyab. There’s no attachment there. Nothing is owed!
That’s a problem for many of us who are the daughters who cannot do anything because of our strict tradition of the son(s) being the ones to be held responsible at death times. I feel your struggles and frustration. I ended up telling my mom to just stay and do nothing if she is going to live with her son. Sad 😢!
First of all, I'm a daughter and a mother of daughters and do not condons abuse of our elders. However, we are in the 21st century, let the responsibility of taking care of one's Mom and Dad be both sons and daughters. We can't expect an outsider to come and bear this weight. We are all living longer beyond our 80's and 90's which means there needs to be some serious discussions on the topic of caring for our parents. Caring for our aging parents can put a lot of stress on one permanent care giver; therefore, we should outsource the care providers to include daughters and professional nursing facilities.
@@nangkue8371 Easy to say now when you're young and navigating the world is easy for you, but give it another 30 years and you'll go back to regret this comment.
Yes your nyab and brother are wrong but you as the only daughter should help too. Just don’t expect your brother and nyab to do everything. Bc your mom loves both of you not just him you are just as responsible as your brother and nyab. Pretty sure if you help out too there would less stress and arguments. Stop putting everything on the Nyah’s shoulder. Everyone should contribute and do their part.
@@roseanimetor8157 she did when the ultimatum was presented. She should have been helping out way before that and shouldn’t have to wait for her nyab and brother to do. Bc some daughters believes that it’s the son and daughter in law duties to take care of the parents but in reality it’s every kid duty to take care of their parents. Bc the parents birth both son and daughter. So responsibility should be equally. Im not saying her brother and nyab is good but just saying do your part too. The bro and nyab will for sure get their karma but in reality please help out the son and daughter in law too(not talking about this couple but in general) taking care of the elderly is hard physically and mentally.
@@pavang5531 how do we know that she is not helping? Is it the story said that she goes to her brother’s house and takes care of her mom as well? Of course, everyone should do their part but seems like she is doing it.
How about everyone just takes care of their own parents married or not. It’s not the outsiders job to care for your parents. They are Only there to assist as need or to support u. When they married u, they married only u! Not your whole family. That’s y on the marriage license only have two peoples name on it.
I am so sad listening to this story. I'm sorry your mom is not here with you anymore but look at the bright side, she's not suffering anymore. Your nyab is going to get her turn in a much worst. Karma is never too far! 😢❤️
Don’t blame each other. We all have our own life. Parents should not expect their children to take care of them. We don’t live on the farm and can care for our elders. Now, we all have jobs outside the home and we’re all so busy. Live on your own. Get outside help.
Ummm...Those that criticize the nyabs as if they are better or exempt hopefully you are as you preach. Lol. Son or daughter, it's everyone's job. Don't be expecting the outsiders to do your job. That is just ludicrous. Plus there is nothing wrong with getting Assisted Living considering many young people have jobs and busy schedules. In my generation, that's where I expect to go when I am old. For now, I understand my generation must honor those elders before me. At the same time, I find Hmong culture and old practices to be an added hindrance. Somehow Hmong people like to complicate things a lot more with all their crazy rules and restrictions.
Listen, I said Nyabs with an "s" referring to in general because lots of people I see are hypocrites. I don't like pretending to be perfect like some because I know I am not. It's true that every situation is different on its on term but don't be getting all mad if your SIL or BIL aren't doing your job for you. Even if they may be cruel or abusive it still falls under your responsibility as the blood child of your parent. In my family we don't wait for our wife/husband to do our job. If they have the heart and volunteer that is great. If not, we do it ourselves. We don't wait or cry. Some of us may do more than others but that is what's called "Stepping Up." At the end, you just have to think it this way, you'll just receive more blessings for doing the right thing. Lol. It goes with the American saying "If you want it done right, then do it yourself." Ridiculous that some siblings choose feuding over jealousy vs fulfilling their responsibility.
Phem npaum kj tu nyab thiab tu nu no ce nkawv g Tha cia siab rau nkawv pab li os yu ua li CA rau tej niam tej txiv ce yu cov yuav ua raw nraim li ntawv lwm hnub lau ce yuav raw nraim li niam txoj kev
Koj zaj neej neeg no hais tau tu siab heev li os. Yog leej twg yuav hlub niam hlub txiv ces hlub thaum tseem muaj sia nyob thiaj tsim nyob lawv yug tau yus ib zaug. Txhob cia thaum lawv qi muag lawm es mam tias hlub es yuav mus siv txog 5-6caum phav nyiaj los ua lub ntees. Tsis muaj nqis lawm.
I have 4 brothers but none wanted to take care of my mom either. My mom's life story is just like yours. Daughters can only do but so much when it comes to her parents for those who have traditional husband's. We have to live with it until we change our traditions.
If u want to love someone just do it when they're alive! don't wait until they're dead to come n cry bcoz the death cant wake up or hear u . OMG so sad !!! Lady don't put all ur hopes in ur son's hands bcoz they're all disappointment if they're not men enough to stand up their grounds!!!these daughters are best at loving n caring for u . why she can love her mother's but not her mil ??without her mil she wldnt have her husband's?? karma will gets her no matter what !
Leej twg hais tias cov neeg hmoob hu tias cov niag twm tub ntawv yuav ua cas txawj hlub niam hlub txiv yuav ua cas txawj nco niam txiv tus txiaj tus ntsig na tib co kuag ka kuag hlau xwb. Cov twm tub ces tib co nyhav av xwb.
No one is right or wrong as we don’t have both side of the story, however, the only problem I have is the elderly abuse. Regardless it is the responsibility of the nyab or not to take care of the mother, she has no right to abuse the mother.
Niam Yog ob leeg niam. Cas pheej npav kom nyab li nyab xwb. Qhov zoo qhov phem kom nyab xwb. Nej cov muam tau pab mus tus Nej niam thiab. Cov txiv los tau pab Nej tus poj niam tu Nej niam thiab. Txhob tias txhua yam es pov rau nyab cuag Li nej twb tuag tag lawm.
No one should abuse the elderly, if you can not take care them,then send her to the nursing home.The elderly deserve respect, they are still human being, they were once young and energy too.
Ua ca yuav nkim lub zog yug thiab tu khwv rau noj rau haus npaj cuab tsa yim kawg nkaus hais tau tu siab tshaj tshuav tsi ntev ce yuav npam lauj lwm hnub nws cov mam li ua rau nws os yom
I’m going to speak from different perspectives. Traditional Hmong belief is “have kids so they can take care of you when you’re old.” There’s no guarantee that my child will take care of me. How sad that would be. All I’m saying is parents shouldn’t put expectations on their kids to take care of them in old age. It’s not the kids job. I don’t like the guilt trip of “I sacrificed so much when you were a baby,” because the child can readily object that they didn’t choose to be born. If you know it in your heart that you can’t take care of a disabled or elderly person, there are many facilities that can help. Don’t be disgruntled taking care of someone simultaneously ruining relationships. It’s ok to love someone and still put them in a facility. God bless the persons heart who can do the job within their own home. However you do it, if it’s done out of love and respect, it’s ok either way.
Tu nyab no ma phem tiag tiag ca ua cuag li lwm hnu nws tsi txawj laus na ib hnu ma yeej yuav txog nws ntus xwb ho muaj tub los txhob cia mu yuav tu nyab no coov ntxhias coj los ua nyab tu niam laus aws qhov tseeb yog koj tu nus ua tsi tau txiv xwb os lam nyob lub tej chaws zoo txawj ntses tab si koj tu nus tsi muaj zoo hlwb los hlub tej laus
How can you don't help take care of your mom several days a week? It's funny some daughter always whine and complain but never take the mom home to help take care a few days. Please give your dil a break too. It's not easy to take care of a elder 24/7.
@@ThePrincessWorrior why are you so bitter about the sister in this story? You must be the sil in this story. She is not jealous. As a hmong daughter, you guys should understand better.
@@panghouathao4723 : She sounds pretty bitter. Despite the brother's circumstance, he sounded like he was trying really hard. Because she had to lend a hand, she has hard feelings. Can't give her credit for being fake.
@@joevang6024 no, i don't think she is faked. I think she feels like most hmong daughters feels. No matter how much we as daughter love and try to help our parents, in their eyes we will never be able to replace their son. And that is not jealousy. It showed much does a SON mean to hmong people. You can't denied most of them love their sons more than their daughters. Alot of the comments said she complained alot but she just wanted to take sure her mother was well taking care of and she was just doing what she was supposed to be doing as a daughter. She did tried to help out and took in her mother in the end, so you can't said she didn't help. She is mad at her brother for allowed that kind of treatments toward their mom and sad for her mother who loved her son deeply yet end up being disappointed her only son.
@@panghouathao4723 : It's not his fault the system is set up like that. Got to pity my man. Sounds like he's going to retire into an early grave. Gives me a headache just thinking about the three ladies.
This should be a lesson for all of us. It is sad being a Hmong girl. No matter how much you as a girl love your parents, no matter how much your parents get mistreated by their son, they will love and leave everything for their son. Even you yourself admitted that you love your sons more. This should be a lesson for yourself. Hopefully you learn from this and love your daughter evenly. Daughter or son, in the end, it's up to the individual if they love you or not. Please stop this tradition of valuing your sons more.
I think what's most fair is the American way. Once you're over 18, you're on your own. The problem with Hmong families are that parents take care of their sons/daughters past 20 or 30years and expect it to be garauntee retirement plan. Likewise for the kids, we want to reap the benefits when parents are still able to contribute, but want nothing to do with them when they fall on bad times like this grandma. Always invest/ care about yourself before anyone else. EVEN YOUR KIDS.
Zaj neej neeg no tsuas hnov ib sab lus xwb tej zaum niam pog thiab tus muam los yeej tau ua tej yam rau nyab tu siab lawm thiab peb tsuas hnov muam sab xwb tsis hnov nyab sab ces tsis paub hais muaj ib txhia muam lam heev xav kom nyab ua txhua yam rau yus niam yus txiv tab sis cov muam ntawv mus ua neej twb tsis hlub niam pog txiv yawg twb tsis yuav niam pog txiv yawg thiab thiab ib qho cov txiv neej hmoob koj niam koj txiv koj twb tsis hlub tsis ua rau noj tsis tu koj niam koj txiv es nej cov nus muag yuav xav kom lwm tus los ua nej qhev tau li cas muaj ib txhia niam pog txiv yawg thiab cov muam tsim nyab txaus nkaus thiab thaum laus ua tsis tau noj lawm leej twg yuav ua cas hlub kawg koj tus ntxhais nyob zov kom koj tuag mam nrhiav txiv yuav xwb cov muam tub nkeeg pw tsheej tag ki ua tsis tau ib pluag rau tej niam txiv noj tseem muaj cai kawg thiab
Niag thaub no ces tsheb tsi muaj poj niam kam yuav lawm es thiaj li tsi kav tso niag poj dab no mus thaub e cas yuav nkim kij niam lub zog yug koj thiab tu koj loj hlob li ko os yog kuv ces kuv twb mus dai tuag lawm lau
Hais thiab tsis hais los peb cov ntxhais yeej txawj mus ua nyab ib yam thiab os. Peb yeej hlub tsis tau lawv niam lawv txiv cuag peb hlub peb niam peb txiv. Cov laus nim no los yeej coj tsis zoo ib txhiaj thiab. Tej tug los yeej yws tau thiab ua qias neeg Heev, peb cov xiaj mais no ces txhob tos tos tej tub tej nyab take care yus lawm... yeeb meem nrhiav tsev laus tos yus ua ntej xwb. That's just my opinion.
Blame your brother, not the outsider. He is the selfish and evil one. But why you are also complaining about caring for your own mother who raised and loved you since birth? Being a caretaker is no easy job. You and your brother need to take turn caring for her and have her stay at both of your houses equally. That is the only fair way to repay the way she has raised and loved you both equally. Never blame the outsider,.
Agree. You can’t expect an outsider to love the way you would. They have no connection, and thus will be meaningless anyway. Bro dropped the ball on this one.
@@maicha4809 not saying the nyab was right. Just saying if the husband had balls, then the nyab would have no choice. Because the nyab carries the relationship, the mom had to suffer, therefore, it is the son’s fault more so than the nyab.
Tus neeg tsis yog yus yug los sab nraud los, tsawg2 tus thiaj hlub yus ua niam pog txiv yawg. Yus tub uas yus yug yog ua tsis taus txiv ces kawg tau txais txoj kev txom nyem siab ntsws.
Nyab siab phem li no ces yuav npam sai xwb nws twb yug tau ib co me nyuam thiab muaj ib hnub nkawv yuav tau txais phem tshaj ua koj niam tau txais lawv xav yuav nyiaj xwb yeej yuav npam xwb txog hnub npam lo txog nws ces nws mam paub txog ces lig rau nws lawm neeg siab phem ces yeej tsis tau zoo ib zaug li
Sounds just like my mom's life before she passed away. RIP mom. Only the daughter in law can love and willing to take care of her own parents but when it comes to the in laws she is not going to do the same, not even giving something little, that is why as a son you should do the same to your own parents like she does. It is up to the son how to treat his parents. Hopefully karma gets them that what I want karma gets my brother and his wife but it is not happening and her mom is still alive, out last my mom. Maybe she is still alive because God does not want her home and having her suffer by living.
This story is so sad. Because I can see my mom going through the same path as her mom. As a daughter if you love your parents so much you should be able to love your mil the same way. Your mil give birth to your husband and he is the man you love and the father to your kids. Without your mil you wouldn't have a man to love. Being a nyab is hard but no need to treat her in that way.
Txhob muab lub txim phem pov tag rau cov nyab os mog. Cov nyab ua mov ua zoo rau tej laus 1000 100 zaus twb tsis muaj nqis li cov ntxhais ua ib zaug os. Iawv lo ua yus tus nyab yus tawm mus ua hmoob sab tom tus nyab thiab os txhob tias tus nyab phem no os. Yus niam yug yus ces cem yus tag lo thiaj hlub yus tus nyab tsis yog nws yug nws yeej tsis hlub li hlub yus. Qhov yog tshaj plaws ces yus yog nws yug lawm tsis hais tub lo ntxhais hlub kom tau tus yug koj xwb os. Thiaj tsis npam mog
I don’t expect the nyabs to take care of their in-laws, however, the nyabs should not expect the in-laws to take care of their kids. Don’t want to care for the elders then don’t collect their money, don’t use them as your full time nanny. But karma is nobody’s friend. What goes around comes around. You do good deeds and good things will come your way. You treat your in-laws like crap, you better start enlisting yourself in a living assistant place now.
Everyone will grow old. The nyab will have her turn soon
The nyab will get cloned and live forever
Everyone have in laws. My only advice for all the Nyabs are to treat your in laws how you would want your own parents to be treated. The golden rule applies, “treat others how you would like to be treated.” As a Nyab, it’s ok if you don’t take care of your in laws if they didn’t love you. But if they loved you, their tears will turn into curse if you are evil to them. You will surely be judged. Also, if Nyab don’t want to care for in laws, don’t be mean to them and mistreat them. Allow your spouse to care for his mother as he please. And don’t be so evil. 👿
Ua neeg nyob es peb yuav tsum hlub peb cov niam thiab os mog. Ua cas peb cov niam lawv laus tau ntxim2 hlub li os. Kuv niam los txom2 nyem siab li no thiab os lawv aw…
Karma will come around. I believe in karma. Most daughters-in-law only want you when you can still help them. Once you can't help others, you are useless to them. This generation is like that.
thaum tub tseem noj niam mis ces tub yeej mloog niam lus.tam sim no tub ho noj nyab mis ces tub kawg mloog nyab lus nyab hais li cas ces tub kawg ua li ntawd xwb.tiam tshiab no cov hluas yeej coj li no.
Tiam no ces cov tub khiav mus ua nyab tag lawm os!
She is teaching her kids to treat her when she is old. Don’t worry about it. What’s go around will come around. What go up must come down. I hope will reap what she saw very soon.🙏🙏🙏😢
100% agree
Karma will bite her twice as hard
That’s right Amen.
Zaj no mas cas yuav txaus tu siab ua luaj li os ntuj aw. Kuv nim ke mloog ke quaj tag nrho zaj neej neeg no. Lub neej yog zoo li no xwb ces tsis muaj tub los txhob ntshaw thiab. Cov niag tub poob peev li no thaum xeeb rau hauv plab paub tias yog tub no ces muab tshem pov tseg txhob yug los tsim txom yus thiaj tsis tu tu siab.
No one knows until we go through this. All the evil nyabs will get their turn.
Why blame the nyab…it’s ain’t her job. The old lady’s own kids didn’t even do it. All them two did was blaming each other back and forth, be jealous of each other that mother love who most and who will get mama’s leftovers, but expect nyab to take care and change diapers?…ho!
If nyab is evil then what mama’s brats be…devils?
@@ThePrincessWorrior again you and I don't know until we go through it. I’m talking about all the evils Nyab, not just this one.
Zaj no hais tau zoo heev li os
Alot of the ladies here are bashing and cursing the nyab but can they take care of their elderly disabled in-laws every single day when they work full-time, take care of the children, and household? It’s easy to point out the bad in someone else when we don’t know their situation. If the daughter-in-law was physically abusing the mother-in-law intentionally, that’s criminal.
Yog tus muam phem es thiaj li talk shit about the nyab xwb mas.
Oh, just muam kus kes xwb. She’s just one mouth full of bad things to say. She wouldn’t take responsibility…she was afraid that mama will die on her, peeps. She jealous mama loved her less.
4
I bet if it was her own mother and her sil did that to her mother. She would be upset and hurt too.
to deal with her pass family. The son and the daughter have full responsible for the Pog.
Cas tu2 siab li cas zoo li kiv niam thiab kuv txiv kuv niam thiab kuv lub neej😭😭😭
Mloog ma. Lo kuag kawg
Muaj niam muaj txiv thiaj muaj yus, muaj ib hnub peb yuav lau li lawv thiab. Peb yuav tau ua siab ntev tu lawv thiaj tau koob hmoov
Don't be so hard on your brother. He's in the middle. I am sure he was as stressful as you and loved your mother as much as you. It doesn't make him less of a man or human. He probably didn't want to lose his kids and end up with child support. Child support is a pain. If he was to step up and be the man you wanted. Would you have helped him pay for child support until all his kids turn 18? I don't think so.
Its good you took your mother in and helped as much you could. I applaud you Sister. Don't worry too much about your brother, as long as he is alive and healthy. Let him be. Focus on your life.
Lub Ntuj aw🙏 Thov kom tej hluas hlub tej laus os vim thaum yus laus yus yuav need kev hlub kev pab ib yam thiab os.
Sorry sister, Im in your shoe too. I hope ur nyab's, nyab do the same to her mom and she will know much it hurt. Plus her kids will treat her worst.
It's ok, one day your brother and that witch sister in law will get their turn
I cannot bash on the Nyab. Hmong culture expectations are a$$ backwards. Why is the Nyab expected to care for the MIL when the Nyab is an outsider. The MIL has never taken care of the Nyab. There’s no attachment there. Nothing is owed!
The son should take care of the mom, cook and clean for the mom. The nyab can help some.
That’s a problem for many of us who are the daughters who cannot do anything because of our strict tradition of the son(s) being the ones to be held responsible at death times. I feel your struggles and frustration. I ended up telling my mom to just stay and do nothing if she is going to live with her son. Sad 😢!
First of all, I'm a daughter and a mother of daughters and do not condons abuse of our elders. However, we are in the 21st century, let the responsibility of taking care of one's Mom and Dad be both sons and daughters. We can't expect an outsider to come and bear this weight. We are all living longer beyond our 80's and 90's which means there needs to be some serious discussions on the topic of caring for our parents. Caring for our aging parents can put a lot of stress on one permanent care giver; therefore, we should outsource the care providers to include daughters and professional nursing facilities.
@@nangkue8371 Easy to say now when you're young and navigating the world is easy for you, but give it another 30 years and you'll go back to regret this comment.
Cas koj zaj neej neeg no tham tau tu2 siab li os.....
Yes your nyab and brother are wrong but you as the only daughter should help too. Just don’t expect your brother and nyab to do everything. Bc your mom loves both of you not just him you are just as responsible as your brother and nyab. Pretty sure if you help out too there would less stress and arguments. Stop putting everything on the Nyah’s shoulder. Everyone should contribute and do their part.
Amen!
Agree!!! The nyab sounds mean! But you as the daughter should be helping more even though the nyab doesn't agree.
She did help, if not why her mom passed away at her house?
@@roseanimetor8157 she did when the ultimatum was presented. She should have been helping out way before that and shouldn’t have to wait for her nyab and brother to do. Bc some daughters believes that it’s the son and daughter in law duties to take care of the parents but in reality it’s every kid duty to take care of their parents. Bc the parents birth both son and daughter. So responsibility should be equally. Im not saying her brother and nyab is good but just saying do your part too. The bro and nyab will for sure get their karma but in reality please help out the son and daughter in law too(not talking about this couple but in general) taking care of the elderly is hard physically and mentally.
@@pavang5531 how do we know that she is not helping? Is it the story said that she goes to her brother’s house and takes care of her mom as well? Of course, everyone should do their part but seems like she is doing it.
Lwm hnub nyab cov yeej yuav ua rau nyab xwb mas
Cov nyab xav tias nws yuav Tsis muaj Hnub lau thiab tsw phem... yeej yuav Tsis tau neeg zoo li os
Yuav npam lau nkawv os
How about everyone just takes care of their own parents married or not. It’s not the outsiders job to care for your parents. They are Only there to assist as need or to support u. When they married u, they married only u! Not your whole family. That’s y on the marriage license only have two peoples name on it.
Tu siab heev li og niam laug aw
I am so sad listening to this story. I'm sorry your mom is not here with you anymore but look at the bright side, she's not suffering anymore. Your nyab is going to get her turn in a much worst. Karma is never too far! 😢❤️
Don’t blame each other. We all have our own life. Parents should not expect their children to take care of them. We don’t live on the farm and can care for our elders. Now, we all have jobs outside the home and we’re all so busy. Live on your own. Get outside help.
Ummm...Those that criticize the nyabs as if they are better or exempt hopefully you are as you preach. Lol. Son or daughter, it's everyone's job. Don't be expecting the outsiders to do your job. That is just ludicrous. Plus there is nothing wrong with getting Assisted Living considering many young people have jobs and busy schedules. In my generation, that's where I expect to go when I am old. For now, I understand my generation must honor those elders before me. At the same time, I find Hmong culture and old practices to be an added hindrance. Somehow Hmong people like to complicate things a lot more with all their crazy rules and restrictions.
Os pop pp
💯
Did you not hear! The nyab and son wants the PCA money! The mom wanted out but they wouldn’t!
@@Hmong664 these people don’t have ears and if they do they only want to hear the part they want to. 🤣
Listen, I said Nyabs with an "s" referring to in general because lots of people I see are hypocrites. I don't like pretending to be perfect like some because I know I am not. It's true that every situation is different on its on term but don't be getting all mad if your SIL or BIL aren't doing your job for you. Even if they may be cruel or abusive it still falls under your responsibility as the blood child of your parent. In my family we don't wait for our wife/husband to do our job. If they have the heart and volunteer that is great. If not, we do it ourselves. We don't wait or cry. Some of us may do more than others but that is what's called
"Stepping Up." At the end, you just have to think it this way, you'll just receive more blessings for doing the right thing. Lol. It goes with the American saying "If you want it done right, then do it yourself." Ridiculous that some siblings choose feuding over jealousy vs fulfilling their responsibility.
Mloog zaj dab neeg no tag mam thim xav ua cas yv hlub kV niam ua luaj os 😭😭😭
Tus siab tsaj li os nyab tsuab teev aw koj zaj neej neeg
Yo lady….. you know you can help out too right? Instead of standing by complaining
Guess you weren’t listening to the story huh?
Phem npaum kj tu nyab thiab tu nu no ce nkawv g Tha cia siab rau nkawv pab li os yu ua li CA rau tej niam tej txiv ce yu cov yuav ua raw nraim li ntawv lwm hnub lau ce yuav raw nraim li niam txoj kev
Koj zaj neej neeg no hais tau tu siab heev li os. Yog leej twg yuav hlub niam hlub txiv ces hlub thaum tseem muaj sia nyob thiaj tsim nyob lawv yug tau yus ib zaug. Txhob cia thaum lawv qi muag lawm es mam tias hlub es yuav mus siv txog 5-6caum phav nyiaj los ua lub ntees. Tsis muaj nqis lawm.
I have 4 brothers but none wanted to take care of my mom either. My mom's life story is just like yours. Daughters can only do but so much when it comes to her parents for those who have traditional husband's. We have to live with it until we change our traditions.
Niam laus aw cas yv tu siab ua luaj li os kv mloog xb los kv nim quaj quaj tsi taus li os tu siab heev li
If u want to love someone just do it when they're alive! don't wait until they're dead to come n cry bcoz the death cant wake up or hear u . OMG so sad !!! Lady don't put all ur hopes in ur son's hands bcoz they're all disappointment if they're not men enough to stand up their grounds!!!these daughters are best at loving n caring for u . why she can love her mother's but not her mil ??without her mil she wldnt have her husband's?? karma will gets her no matter what !
Your Nyab have tub too she will know when she get older good luck to your Nyab and brother.
Yus ces zoo raws nraim zaj neej neeg no xwb os lawv aw tu siab tshaj li os mog
Nej cov uas tseem hluas tsis txob xav hais tias nej lub neej yuav zoo lis no mus ib txhis lis. Peb txhuas tus yeej yuav txawj lau thiab peb lub neej yuav zoo lis tus niam Tais no thaum twg los tsis paub. Peb yuav tsum hlub, hwm cov laus thiab uas siab ntev rau lawv. Lawv yuav nrog Peb nyob tsis ntev lawm.
Cov me phoog ywg aw .. hais kom 18 xeev hloov coj cai os.. muab cov niam pog nrog cov ntxhai nyob ...muab cov vau mus nrog niam tiav nyob .thiaj g muaj kev tus siab . Vim cov nyab lawv hlub tauv lawm niam yug lawv xwb ...
Leej twg hais tias cov neeg hmoob hu tias cov niag twm tub ntawv yuav ua cas txawj hlub niam hlub txiv yuav ua cas txawj nco niam txiv tus txiaj tus ntsig na tib co kuag ka kuag hlau xwb. Cov twm tub ces tib co nyhav av xwb.
Me nyab aw lwm hnub koj laus mas koj tseem yuav txom nyem tshaj koj niam pog nawb koj cov nyab yuam huab yuav tsim koj nawb
I’m just here for the comments. 🍿
This is why some time is better for your elderly to live in the assistant living.
May your mom rest in peace
Love you parents no matter what. They gave you life. Karma!!!!!
Yus nrhiav kev li cas rau tus laus taug ces lwm hnub yus cov nrhiav li ntawv rau yus taug xwb thiab tsis ua li cas. Ua zoo tau zoo ua phem tau phem.
Nco ntsoov tias ib hnub peb yeej yuav laus xwb2 nawb es txhob siab phem2 rau cov laus yog koj tus txiv pheej muab koj txiv neb sib lo ua niam txiv no koj puas txaus siab thiab mas los xyov koj zoo siab xwb as thov txhob ua phem2 rau cov laus tsam npam no nawb
No one is right or wrong as we don’t have both side of the story, however, the only problem I have is the elderly abuse. Regardless it is the responsibility of the nyab or not to take care of the mother, she has no right to abuse the mother.
Seriously?!! There ain’t no two side to the story. It’s her only son and she loved the grandkids..smh..he’s a bad son and got no balls
😭😭😭 I only have one myself and I hope one day it’s not like this story
Then just find a nice nursing home.
Niam Yog ob leeg niam. Cas pheej npav kom nyab li nyab xwb. Qhov zoo qhov phem kom nyab xwb. Nej cov muam tau pab mus tus Nej niam thiab. Cov txiv los tau pab Nej tus poj niam tu Nej niam thiab. Txhob tias txhua yam es pov rau nyab cuag Li nej twb tuag tag lawm.
Are you talking about yourself? Because that’s not what I hear in this story!
No one should abuse the elderly, if you can not take care them,then send her to the nursing home.The elderly deserve respect, they are still human being, they were once young and energy too.
Sad story 😢
Peb cov nyab thov kom hlub cov niam pog thiab mog yog yus tus nyab tsis hlub yus niam thiab txiv yeej mob yus siab kawg li mog,
Ua ca yuav nkim lub zog yug thiab tu khwv rau noj rau haus npaj cuab tsa yim kawg nkaus hais tau tu siab tshaj tshuav tsi ntev ce yuav npam lauj lwm hnub nws cov mam li ua rau nws os yom
😭😭😭😭
I’m going to speak from different perspectives. Traditional Hmong belief is “have kids so they can take care of you when you’re old.” There’s no guarantee that my child will take care of me. How sad that would be. All I’m saying is parents shouldn’t put expectations on their kids to take care of them in old age. It’s not the kids job. I don’t like the guilt trip of “I sacrificed so much when you were a baby,” because the child can readily object that they didn’t choose to be born. If you know it in your heart that you can’t take care of a disabled or elderly person, there are many facilities that can help. Don’t be disgruntled taking care of someone simultaneously ruining relationships. It’s ok to love someone and still put them in a facility. God bless the persons heart who can do the job within their own home. However you do it, if it’s done out of love and respect, it’s ok either way.
Muab xav ma tu tu siab li os peb ib tsoom me poj ntsuam aw....
😭😭😭😭😭
Hais rau cov niam tais yawm txiv uas pheej hais ntxhais vauv mas hlub hlub yus no niam pog txiv yawg twb tsis tau kev hlub los ntawm tub nyab lis
Koj niam lub kua muag poob pes tsawg zaug ces dhau no mus koj tus nyab thiab tus nus nkawd ces tsuas muaj puas zus zus xwb os. Txoj kev ntsim ib tug laus yuav npam tiag. Koj tug nyab nkawd muaj vaj muaj tsev yog los ntawd koj niam xwb.
Tu nyab no ma phem tiag tiag ca ua cuag li lwm hnu nws tsi txawj laus na ib hnu ma yeej yuav txog nws ntus xwb ho muaj tub los txhob cia mu yuav tu nyab no coov ntxhias coj los ua nyab tu niam laus aws qhov tseeb yog koj tu nus ua tsi tau txiv xwb os lam nyob lub tej chaws zoo txawj ntses tab si koj tu nus tsi muaj zoo hlwb los hlub tej laus
Yog kuv ces kuv yuav foom nawj
😭😭😢oh Very said story 😭
Yeej yog ib qhov nyuaj siab kawg os yog leej twg niam thiab txiv leej twg thiab paub kev mob siab tu siab xwb os!
How can you don't help take care of your mom several days a week? It's funny some daughter always whine and complain but never take the mom home to help take care a few days. Please give your dil a break too. It's not easy to take care of a elder 24/7.
Oh because mama loved brother more and mama’s leftover treasure will be for brother so all sister would do is whine, complain, and act like angel😄
@@ThePrincessWorrior why are you so bitter about the sister in this story? You must be the sil in this story. She is not jealous. As a hmong daughter, you guys should understand better.
@@panghouathao4723 : She sounds pretty bitter. Despite the brother's circumstance, he sounded like he was trying really hard. Because she had to lend a hand, she has hard feelings. Can't give her credit for being fake.
@@joevang6024 no, i don't think she is faked. I think she feels like most hmong daughters feels. No matter how much we as daughter love and try to help our parents, in their eyes we will never be able to replace their son. And that is not jealousy. It showed much does a SON mean to hmong people. You can't denied most of them love their sons more than their daughters. Alot of the comments said she complained alot but she just wanted to take sure her mother was well taking care of and she was just doing what she was supposed to be doing as a daughter. She did tried to help out and took in her mother in the end, so you can't said she didn't help. She is mad at her brother for allowed that kind of treatments toward their mom and sad for her mother who loved her son deeply yet end up being disappointed her only son.
@@panghouathao4723 : It's not his fault the system is set up like that. Got to pity my man. Sounds like he's going to retire into an early grave. Gives me a headache just thinking about the three ladies.
Hlub koj heev os niam ntias a mus zoo koj os nawb.😭😭😭😭😭😭
Koj nyab nkawv twb yug tau cov me nyuam thiab muaj ib hnub twg nkawv yuav tau txais ib yam li ntawm
Nco ntsoov txoj kev tsis hlub koj niam mog
Nco Ntxoov koj tus poj niam neb tsim koj niam
Mogkawg khaum laud
Nebkawgyuav tau taug txojkevno nawv of cim ntsoov nawv of ( khaum king nawv)
Twb tias hmoob meka thiaj siab loj siab dav,txawj hlub no ne cas tseem tshuav tej tus poj hmoob siab me siab phem li nej tus nyab no thiab😔
Kev npam kev khaum muaj tiag ib hnub twg tus poj niam siab phem noj yuav poj xwb
This should be a lesson for all of us. It is sad being a Hmong girl. No matter how much you as a girl love your parents, no matter how much your parents get mistreated by their son, they will love and leave everything for their son. Even you yourself admitted that you love your sons more. This should be a lesson for yourself. Hopefully you learn from this and love your daughter evenly. Daughter or son, in the end, it's up to the individual if they love you or not.
Please stop this tradition of valuing your sons more.
I think what's most fair is the American way. Once you're over 18, you're on your own. The problem with Hmong families are that parents take care of their sons/daughters past 20 or 30years and expect it to be garauntee retirement plan. Likewise for the kids, we want to reap the benefits when parents are still able to contribute, but want nothing to do with them when they fall on bad times like this grandma. Always invest/ care about yourself before anyone else. EVEN YOUR KIDS.
Zaj neej neeg no tsuas hnov ib sab lus xwb tej zaum niam pog thiab tus muam los yeej tau ua tej yam rau nyab tu siab lawm thiab peb tsuas hnov muam sab xwb tsis hnov nyab sab ces tsis paub hais muaj ib txhia muam lam heev xav kom nyab ua txhua yam rau yus niam yus txiv tab sis cov muam ntawv mus ua neej twb tsis hlub niam pog txiv yawg twb tsis yuav niam pog txiv yawg thiab thiab ib qho cov txiv neej hmoob koj niam koj txiv koj twb tsis hlub tsis ua rau noj tsis tu koj niam koj txiv es nej cov nus muag yuav xav kom lwm tus los ua nej qhev tau li cas muaj ib txhia niam pog txiv yawg thiab cov muam tsim nyab txaus nkaus thiab thaum laus ua tsis tau noj lawm leej twg yuav ua cas hlub kawg koj tus ntxhais nyob zov kom koj tuag mam nrhiav txiv yuav xwb cov muam tub nkeeg pw tsheej tag ki ua tsis tau ib pluag rau tej niam txiv noj tseem muaj cai kawg thiab
Kuv niam kuv tu, kj niam kj tu ces teeb meem tsi muaj nawb. Kom lawv tu 3 niam ces 3 tias tsi zoo no os hmoob
Vim cov niam yeej hlub cov ntxhais dua ces cov ntxhais txhob complain cov nyab lau
Niag thaub no ces tsheb tsi muaj poj niam kam yuav lawm es thiaj li tsi kav tso niag poj dab no mus thaub e cas yuav nkim kij niam lub zog yug koj thiab tu koj loj hlob li ko os yog kuv ces kuv twb mus dai tuag lawm lau
Hais thiab tsis hais los peb cov ntxhais yeej txawj mus ua nyab ib yam thiab os. Peb yeej hlub tsis tau lawv niam lawv txiv cuag peb hlub peb niam peb txiv. Cov laus nim no los yeej coj tsis zoo ib txhiaj thiab. Tej tug los yeej yws tau thiab ua qias neeg Heev, peb cov xiaj mais no ces txhob tos tos tej tub tej nyab take care yus lawm... yeeb meem nrhiav tsev laus tos yus ua ntej xwb. That's just my opinion.
Blame your brother, not the outsider. He is the selfish and evil one. But why you are also complaining about caring for your own mother who raised and loved you since birth? Being a caretaker is no easy job. You and your brother need to take turn caring for her and have her stay at both of your houses equally. That is the only fair way to repay the way she has raised and loved you both equally. Never blame the outsider,.
Agree. You can’t expect an outsider to love the way you would. They have no connection, and thus will be meaningless anyway. Bro dropped the ball on this one.
Exactly!
She didn’t even care, but expected the nyab to care. That’s just hypocrite ridiculous. Hmoob daughters like her are just overly weird
She is an outsider, that is why she didn’t need to be such a bitch. Those of you on her side is probably just like her.
@@maicha4809 not saying the nyab was right. Just saying if the husband had balls, then the nyab would have no choice. Because the nyab carries the relationship, the mom had to suffer, therefore, it is the son’s fault more so than the nyab.
Tus vivncaus es txojkev uas luag tsis hlub yus Niam mas yeej tusiab tshaj li os..qhov uas tusiab tshaj yog qhov luag muab yus Niam thiab yus tunus siblo… puamchawj os…heev neeg muaj heevneeg tsim os
Txhob tu siab koj tu nyab twb yug tau coob coob koj tu nyab yeej yuav tau taug koj niam txoj kev ib hnub xwb mog
Tus neeg tsis yog yus yug los sab nraud los, tsawg2 tus thiaj hlub yus ua niam pog txiv yawg. Yus tub uas yus yug yog ua tsis taus txiv ces kawg tau txais txoj kev txom nyem siab ntsws.
Niag ntxhais thiab niag tub kiag twb tsis tu es yuav complain txog nyab. Vwm pob
Nyab siab phem li no ces yuav npam sai xwb nws twb yug tau ib co me nyuam thiab muaj ib hnub nkawv yuav tau txais phem tshaj ua koj niam tau txais lawv xav yuav nyiaj xwb yeej yuav npam xwb txog hnub npam lo txog nws ces nws mam paub txog ces lig rau nws lawm neeg siab phem ces yeej tsis tau zoo ib zaug li
Sounds just like my mom's life before she passed away. RIP mom. Only the daughter in law can love and willing to take care of her own parents but when it comes to the in laws she is not going to do the same, not even giving something little, that is why as a son you should do the same to your own parents like she does. It is up to the son how to treat his parents. Hopefully karma gets them that what I want karma gets my brother and his wife but it is not happening and her mom is still alive, out last my mom. Maybe she is still alive because God does not want her home and having her suffer by living.
Tu siab hev lis os zoo lis kuv naim ha os 😭😭
This story is so sad. Because I can see my mom going through the same path as her mom. As a daughter if you love your parents so much you should be able to love your mil the same way. Your mil give birth to your husband and he is the man you love and the father to your kids. Without your mil you wouldn't have a man to love. Being a nyab is hard but no need to treat her in that way.
Where is the nyab? Let hear her side of the story. I am sure there is 2 sides to a story.
Twb tuag mam quaj ces too late
Me viv ncaus aws , pab koj tu siab ua luaj li os.
Hlub koj niam kawg os
Txhob muab lub txim phem pov tag rau cov nyab os mog. Cov nyab ua mov ua zoo rau tej laus 1000 100 zaus twb tsis muaj nqis li cov ntxhais ua ib zaug os. Iawv lo ua yus tus nyab yus tawm mus ua hmoob sab tom tus nyab thiab os txhob tias tus nyab phem no os. Yus niam yug yus ces cem yus tag lo thiaj hlub yus tus nyab tsis yog nws yug nws yeej tsis hlub li hlub yus. Qhov yog tshaj plaws ces yus yog nws yug lawm tsis hais tub lo ntxhais hlub kom tau tus yug koj xwb os. Thiaj tsis npam mog
คนใจแคบไงแบบนี้รักลูกเค้าได้แต่แม่เค้ารับไม่ได้คนแบบนี้ ถ้า ชย มีหัวใจคงไม่รักจริงแค่ใช้ชีวิตยุเพราะลูกเท่านั้น😔😔😔
Tsis yog kauskes! Yog kuskes!
Peb ua nyab ua minyuam luag phem npaum cas los txhob ua niam lub kua muag poob nawb mog!. Lawv yog lub ntuj daim av
Yog tus nyab tsis take care koj niam ces koj tus nus take care, cook and clean koj niam xwb mas.
What a sad sad story.
What a sad story. :(
Nws twb yug tau ib pab thiab nws yeej yuav taug koj niam txoj kev ib hnub yus ua li cas ces yus tau li ntawd vim ntuj nyob qis2 li os
I don’t expect the nyabs to take care of their in-laws, however, the nyabs should not expect the in-laws to take care of their kids. Don’t want to care for the elders then don’t collect their money, don’t use them as your full time nanny. But karma is nobody’s friend. What goes around comes around. You do good deeds and good things will come your way. You treat your in-laws like crap, you better start enlisting yourself in a living assistant place now.