"In the black speech of Mordor, which I will not utter here, it reads "One ring to rule them all; One ring to find them; One ring to bring them all; And in the darkness bind them. In thanks to Waldreg, gone but not forgotten." Don't worry about that last part."
I wanna see a moment where Sauron is totally exhausted and falls over. Then a hand appears over him. He looks up and sees Waldreg smiling as he says to him "You didnt think I would let you go alone did you?" He lifts him up and the real series finally begins.
Honestly the Arondir wearing wood armor in front of the ents is a brilliant idea. The entwife could try talking to the face on his armor, and realize it’s a dead ent and kill them all. That would have been immaculate
@@reek4062The problem isn't that they breed and that orc women and children exists, the problem here is how it's presented , with what we know of the orcs they wouldn't be loving father or give a shit about the safety of the babies they would far more likely give them the minimal care to survive and then leave them to their own devices
"Frodo my lad, did I ever tell you the tale of Waldreg the Unwashed, the man who made Mordor? Or of our cannibalistic ancestors who stole people's wheels?" - Bilbo Baggins
"I thought not. It's an Orc legend. Waldreg the Unwashed was a Sleem Lord so wise and so powerful, he could influence the script writers to create... Mordor."
"Got out of hand" is also funny, because Morgoth promised Ungoliant that he would feed her out of both hands if she did his favor for him. Their falling out occurred when she demanded more food and he gave her all the jewels he had stolen from the Noldor and was holding in one hand, but refused to give her the other hand, which was concealing the Silmarils. She had grown vast and powerful by feeding on the light from the two Trees, the last of which was contained in the SIlmarils, so they were what she really wanted to eat. They were fighting over Morgoth's breaking their deal to give her the literal contents of his hand. Hand technicalities recur with the Silmarils. King Thingol basically kicked his daughter's suitor Beren to the curb saying "don't come back without a Silmaril in your hand." He succeeded against all odds, and at the cost of Galadriel's brother's life, in stealing one of the Silmarils from Morgoth, but then Sauron's biggest werewolf attacked him and bit off the hand in which he held the Silmaril. He returned to Thingol's court and basically showed his stump ... and Thingol accepted the deal, and let Beren marry his daughter because the Silmaril was technically in his hand, even if both were in a werewolf's stomach.
Annatar: Wouldn't those rings help you to get back into your father's inheritance? Durin: Pardon me for answering your question with one of my own, if I may. Annatar *smiles and nods politely * Durin: WHO THE F*CK ARE YOU?
“Do you know how the Orcs first came into being? Well you see, Morgoth and Adar were in the dungeons making orc babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." -Saruman the White
It's like with Loki in Marvel. Lafi's son. Lurtz, Saruman's son. Taken in to become the rightful heir to Isengard. You are going to marry a wonderful woman and have many kids.
If the legendary Elven crafter Celebrimbor not being competent enough to invent a functioning umbrella doesn't perfectly illustrate what's wrong with this show I don't know what does.
Ent: "Have you touched bow or limb of a tree with an axe?" Don Lemonlos (Slowly hides bow an arrows behind his back): "Noooooo, I've neeeever done that..."
The Showrunners have, perhaps unsurprisingly, fallen for a common misconception about the Rings. Sauron did NOT create Rings for Dwarves and Men. Sauron, in disguise, would work with the Elves to create 16 Rings of Power in his long term plan to corrupt the Elves. The Rings were meant to be used by the Elves and in fact the Elves did use these Rings. In secret however, the Elves would create three more Rings of Power (the ones seen in the show). As such they were free of any Sauron influence. When Sauron completed the One Ring and put it on the Elves wearing the other 16 Rings of Power immediately knew something was wrong and took off the Rings. They would then lock away these Rings. This pissed Sauron off as his whole Grand Plan fell apart instantly. What would follow would be a very, very long period of wars, raids and espionage by Sauron to re-claim the 16 Rings of Power from the Elves. Which he succeeded at and THEN he gave 7 of them to the Dwarves and 9 to Men as a Plan B. Bonus Trivia: The Rings didn't really work all that well on Dwarves because Dwarves lack a proper Soul to corrupt.
The dwarves lacking souls isn’t confirmed canon, having one (recent) source I’m aware of, and it’s not a particularly reliable one (I really wish people wouldn’t editorialize Tolkiens work when they write books about his writings; just cite his writings, authors): Reinders, Eric (2024). Reading Tolkien in Chinese: Religion, Fantasy, and Translation. Perspectives on Fantasy series. London, UK: Bloomsbury Academic That’s from Wikipedia which is known to be unreliable at best. Other sources say they would get reincarnated (One Ring Wiki). Dwarves lived longer than Men,[2] often up to two-hundred-and-fifty years, though Durin I may have lived as long as two-thousand-and-five-hundred years. As many of their later kings seemed in likeness to the Seven Fathers of the Dwarves, most Dwarves believed that the spirits of the Fathers were able to return to their dead bodies during times of importance or struggle, coming back to life in order to save their people. King Durin I was thought to have returned to life six times, ruling over his folk with seven lives. The Silmarillion: It says that the elves believe that, after death, dwarves return to the stone from which they were made. But according to dwarvish tradition, Mahal (Aule, the Vala that created the dwarves) gathers their spirits into a separate hall set apart in the Halls of Mandos. It’s further said that Iluvatar gave them a place among the Children in the end, and that after the Dagor Dagorath the dwarves will help Aule rebuild the earth. There’s also a curious belief that the Seven Fathers of the dwarves can be reborn, and are reincarnated several times. Durin, the most famous of the old fathers, was reborn seven times (if the legends are to be believed.) Source being the much more reliable source, Tolkien himself: The Silmarillion, Quenta Silmarillion, Chapter II: "Of Aulë and Yavanna" Also, the Dwarven rings and the One Ring did indeed have an effect on them, amplifying their greed, covetousness, and wrath. This is also mentioned in the Silmarillion if I recall correctly. What it did NOT do was allow Sauron to dominate them, much to his annoyance. But regarding the elves and origins of the rings, you’re correct as I remember it. Granted, I’m an old man, and I have to look these things up to remind myself sometimes.
that last part is bullshit, they have proper souls. just that they area a more stubborn and willful breed than men are as a whole. while men tend to be more fearful and desperate, uncertain of themselves.
I saw someone point out that the showrunners' knowledge of the making of the rings was likely from PJ's prologue, and that is why certain things are the way they are in the show (and in fact the showrunners themselves have said that their pitch was a 5 season version of the prologue). In the prologue, we're told that 3 rings were "given" to the elves, 7 to the dwarves, and 9 to men. Let's note that this is the exact order it's being done in RoP, even though the 3 elven ones were last in canon. Also, it's possible they took the word "given" literally, which is why Sauron was more involved in making them than in canon. What a messed up timeline this is, eh.
3 หลายเดือนก่อน +16
Those poor giant spiders, they just wanted to tell Isildor's future for him, not their fault humans cannot cope with all that cosmic knowledge and their heads explode.
Re Earien suddenly betraying the king for Pharazon, and why did she do it- this is yet another example of how the showrunners forget to put character motivations on screen. The actress, Ema Horvath, said during s1 that Earien greatly admired Pharazon, so much so that her main interest in Kemen was that he was Pharazon's son. This was news to me, since there was no clue in the show. So now, in s2, one might think that the only reason she's supporting Pharazon is her brother "dying", when she was already fully behind him.
Is this show even worth covering now that Waldreg is gone? To me Waldreg is like L from Death Note. Without him carrying the show, the same way he carried the key to create Mordor, what's even the point?
Imagine they had Isildur work with the orc to escape the spiders. Wouldve been a great opportunity for the writers to add some relatability to the orcs, instead of resorting to the orc family thing
So there's three types of proto-Hobbit: Harfoots, Stoors, and Fallowhides. Harfoots and Fallowhides are more like modern Hobbits, with Harfoots being darker and Fallowhides being well white. Stoors were weird comparably, being slightly taller on average, growing beards, wearing boots, and taking to water really well swimming and being expert boatmen. The Shire was settled mainly by Fallowhides and some Harfoots, while other Harfoots lived near the Dwarves in the Blue Mountains, and the Stoors lived mainly in the Vale of the Anduin. Smeagol and Daegol were Stoors. The remaining Stoors were wiped out by the Nazghul in their hunt for the Ring. Why would you put Stoors in a desert?
My absolute cynical, tinfoil hat take? They got tired of people complaining about character ethnicities, and so put them in the desert to provide an "excuse" for the darker skintones.
2:31:00 On the topic of the forging of the rings, the whole point was that nobody was able to make those because the rings are, essentially, super-advanced magitech in the setting. The material of the rings was never supposed to be special. A good analogy I've read in the past was that the Rings of Power were like integrated circuitry. What is a circuit board made of? Silicon from sand, copper, maybe some gold contacts... nothing especially ground-breaking. The tricky part is the configuration of those materials and the manufacturing process itself, and turning that into a computer is another thing entirely. The magical ingredient isn't mithril; it was Annatar/Sauron all along, who stole the knowledge of how to make the bloody things from his previous Valar master before he joined Morgoth. That was his "gift", and as expected, the show absolutely butchers it the same way it does everything else.
Rags saying it's aragorn not eragon we have to stop this but...he keeps saying isildur differently everytime he says it and sometimes can't even say sauron right either 😂
It will never not be funny that the giant gorge where the bridge was destroyed by lightning is the location of Sarn Ford. A 'ford' being "a shallow place in a river or stream allowing one to walk or drive across."
I just realized that the way Galadriel has been characterized thus far, she is quite literally the female version of boogie. "Elrond, remember what you promised me? Don't you think you could trust me on this?" "Why yes Galadriel I do, but if you remember, the 'promise' was to ensure that Sauron wouldn't rise to control all of middle-earth" "YOU LIAR! YOU LIAR! HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF A COLLOQUIALISM IN YOUR LIFE?! YOU FUCKING GOOGLED IT! (love ya tho)"
Let’s get this straight: the creator’s of this show absolutely consider this a prequel to Peter Jackson’s trilogies, not a strictly Tolkien show. This despite not having the right to do that or the permission and Peter Jackson having nothing to do with it. Some may find this irrelevant, but personally I find it distasteful to use the same or similar fonts, to use imagery where they can, even use quotes from Jackson’s trilogies (whether written originally by Tolkien or not) to make this project directly connected to 6 movies they had nothing to do with, and desperately wanted to inherit. Not everybody who loves the movies is an avid fan of Tolkien. I would wager there are more fans of the movies than there are straight up Tolkien fans. Having said that, It annoys me to no end. If you are going to unofficially make a show hoping to ape the audience from a wildly popular and generally accepted to be masterpieces (well, The Lord if the Rings, not The Hobbit so much) you damn well better make sure you’re up to the task. Your show needs to be more than just references and imagery from that thing. You need to have at least a somewhat close in quality story to tell; and, my God, you need to remember that when you are trying to draw an audience from a hugely popular piece of media you are inviting comparison to that piece of media. Your show better be able to stand next to it. This show doesn’t even come close. I watched the first season and I couldn’t help but feel the lack of “epicness”, I felt that the show wanted me to believe it was taking place in the same place as the trilogies it was drawing from took place but failed at that miserably. The show made Middle Earth feel small and empty. And that is the issue the whole show has throughout - every moment of it feels like it is pretending to be something it fails to actually be. It makes the whole thing feel fake, look fake. Star Wars under Disney has the same issue. Because it’s true. Both are pretending they are as good as the media they’re drawing from but seems to not really “get” what made that media great, so all they can do is make as many references to that better thing in the hopes of fooling you into believing they are one and the same. They aren’t.
7:38:20 Hey Bob'olas, Nick'dir and Sally'driel - you three wear the rings for now. Also you'll stay at home, do pottery or something. We'll check on you from time to time to make sure it's no evil pottery though.
I think the worst part about Arondir giving her shit for branding is it goes directly against what soldiers are taught to do as POWs. You do everything you can to survive, resist, and escape (or wait for rescue). Being branded is not the same as giving up intel or compromising your allies and country.
Waldreg has ascended to join the honourable Wilford Brimley, James Earl Jones & Lemmy (hail Lemmy! 🤘). I am so rooting for 5 seasons of this crap, I'll sign all the petitions. The memes & reviews are a goldmine of laughs & Amazon losing hundreds of millions or 1.2........ BIIIIIIIIILLLION so far is the cherry on top 😁
"oh my god, he caused a volcanic eruption that destroyed the southlands! No cities, no buildings - not even a single wall dreg is left!" "Waldreg, huh? Heh... I kinda like the sound of that..."
If they’re committed to five seasons I’d rather they just reboot it completely at this point with a new cast and production team and writers and… what they have is unsalvageable and utterly unremarkable in every facet. It’s too bland and sanitized, I know a lot of people think that’s Tolkien but seriously The Silmarillion and Children of Hurin are both anything but, and they can be extremely depressing and dark. They’ve broken the lore and stripped and wonder and magic from his work to spit out this soulless slog of filter smeared sludge. With the budget they had it’s inexplicable how utterly mediocre everything is, or perhaps that explains it all too well. If it wasn’t Tolkien it would be inoffensive, bland, boring, and forgettable… but it’s not. I hate this more than I hated The Acolyte because Star Wars was already a tainted brand by that point, this is poison introduced into a healthy body.
This is intentional cultural vandalism by people whom hate Western civilization and traditional values. They’d rather see the world painted communist red.
One of my lol moments in ep4 was when the two harfoots jump off the cliff and roll down the hill from the left and when they stop a huge cloud of dust appears from the right😂
7:08:30 I am pretty sure the Shire is supposed to be like the least magical place in Middle Earth. And hobbits in general have essentially no magic at all.
Aragon Legolas and Gimli chasing the Urukhai is considered a legendary feat of endurance in LoTR. even for elves, that distance at the speed they went is heroic
At this point, the only thing that can save The Rings of Power is to introduce a new Harefoot character named Skibidi who lives in a hole in the ground.
Having now seen reviews to the end relistening to this is hilarious, especially the start of ep4 when you talk about galadriel and helbran etc for a good 5 minutes, so many bits of that are great to register to E.g. push galadriel off a cliff, your prediction that she will have a showndown with helbran at the end so he can woo her spot on etc
3:35:50 why are there crumbled old castles? why are they in ruins of castles when they use castles? what happened to the castle? was it the Earthquake of Evil??? perhaps. damage looks kinda old, though. the damage done to the stone is all worn-over. must've been some spoopy earthquake.
1:47:23 “Orcing 9 to 5, what a way to make a living’, barely gettin’ by, on maggoty bread and no man-flesh, Sauron just uses our kind, and he never give us credit It's enough to drive us to cannibalism if you let it!” Or “My Orcy takes the morning train, he Orcs from 9 to 5 and then, he takes another home again to find me waiting for him!”
Hearing Fringy breakout into the “I’m not a wizard” was a surprise and a pleasant one at that but I think this show is slowly breaking everyone’s brains. 5:58:30 How does something this expensive get made so poorly?
The Halloween Arc is probably Nightmare on Elm Street. There's nine films and they've mention Freddy a few times in recent streams that imply they've seen the movies
Either Halloween, Elm Street or Friday the 13th. I prefer Halloween but maybe it's a mix of the best of each franchise. Or we could be wrong. Probably something along the lines of what we got with Final Destination or Saw.
I noticed another thing - this show doesn't have any songs. If anything, Bombadil should have had a song. They are so rushing the plot they never added any.
How in the world is Sauron going to convince Celebrimbor to make him an all powerful ring and keep up with the charade that he's an angel. Like, the whole point of the creation of the rings is that Sauron tricked EVERYONE, no one knew who he was. Here however everyone BUT Celebrimbor knows he's Sauron, and I don't see how he could create the remaining rings without finding out that he's evil without first receiving a lobotomy.
Galadriel says “Go back to the void from whence you came!” in The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug. So that already took the line from Gandalf but at least they changed it a little.
Ha on IMDB Glug the orc "Robert strange" gets 5th billing as in he's the fifth actor they name and appears in 10 episodes, behind Elrond (10 episodes) ahead of Nori(9 episodes).
7:01:00 Don't you get it? It's a reference to The Never Ending Story's Swamp of Sadness. Arondir dies here. Oh, wait. No he doesn't. _WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?! A DIONOGA?!?!_
I find it so strange that we live in a world where most mainstream media is just completely built on "And Then" storytelling that has virtually no rhyme or reason behind it, while South Park is known for demanding a higher quality of their storytelling, where everything matters and leads to the next thing and pretty much everything has a point.
5:34:00 With the discussion of the "premonitions", it could be the writers harking back to LOTR where Galadriel tells Frodo that her mirror will show him "things that were, things that are, and somethings that have not yet come to pass."
I do not get why the Palantír is a bad thing. Firstly, pretty sure the Valar gave it to Númenor, not the Elves, they cannot make such magic. Second, Sauron never once touched any of the Palantír, nor even knows about them, so they cannot be corrupted. The reason they were in the Third Age is due to him capturing one of them in Minas Morgul.
These episodes were Rags is lead are really good. It's more... Whimsical, laid back, goofy, the whole atmosphere he (unintentionally?) sets up invites others to play off of it in a fun way. I think he'd be a worse fit for something serious like e.g. Arcane, and I would prefer Mauler to lead that as usual, but for a clown show like this, Rags is perfect.
I don't know why they didn't do the series as almost an anthology with Sauron being the connecting thread and each season is a new actor playing Sauron in another form and centers around how he convinces each race to accept the rings of power. You could even have a b plot just for Numenor and it's eventual destruction
Something I find bizarre is okay you have spooky forest which has a lot of bad rumours about it, now either that's been there forever OR it randomly sprung up after the volcano and considering Shelob isn't a fan of light that would imply that A) She's now in the forest because of da volcano exploding OR B) She was already in the forest/cave but than because it was darker she went out into the village, and headed straight for that village despite an volcano exploding would be quite the hell nah I'm staying inside. Anyway she randomly came across this village and than dragged Isuldur what a few miles back to the cave... but of course he didn't wake up on that hour(s) long trip. Also that would be quite the trip out of her area and she clearly already has plenty of food. That's quite the risk for baby Shelob to take. You would assume she has captured enough orcs and other animals, as she had the energy to produce children. Finally we know that she stings her prey, so how the fck he can even move is close to impossible as Shelob would wrap him so tight that it would be impossible to get out without someone there to cut you out. Next random point who the fck got Shelob pregnant? This is partly a jk as I know in lore she has children but here she's not even close to being fully grown despite what existing since the first age at least. I'm fairly certain that she had to mate with lesser broods and in some cases her own children although like her mother I think she also ate them and like most spiders, the men who were chosen did not survive this encounter. Why is she so small here? It's been what a few hundred if not thousands of years since she was born. Hell she was likely born quite the massive spider as Ungoliant was a giant.
The wandavision mention made me remember somethign rather stupid. why couldn't they have had it that in wandavision that Wanda was actively trying to to undo her own hex but was failing, rather than willingly choosing to let it contniue? Basically she has to fight her own trauma and self in order to free everyone. makes her far less malicious and stupid if her mind was so unwell she lsot control of her own power.
Don't these writers know that making Numenor have an elected monarchy DESTROY Aragorn's claim to the throne of Gondor (or any claims to any thrones) ? I mean, they're stupid but really?!?
Aussie here: we also have sub-tropics and some temperate parts are even cold enough to get snow, and some parts are legit straight up Alpine regions. and while we do have a "big desert" its actually a bunch of large deserts blotched between sections of Scrubland
01:03:00 From the original legendarium's perspective, this is again a misrepresentation of Númenórë as they started building ships like after 7 centuries of staying on the island, their culture had nothing to do with the sea, so the shells are ridiculously out of place. In fact, they put a wreath on the bows of their ships to symbolise coming home. And they detested sailors (at least, at first - see the tale of Erendis and Aldarion. Granted, this could be set in a later period, but the timeline is so jumbled as to not make any sense either way). - Adûnâi
"In the black speech of Mordor, which I will not utter here, it reads "One ring to rule them all; One ring to find them; One ring to bring them all; And in the darkness bind them. In thanks to Waldreg, gone but not forgotten." Don't worry about that last part."
“Waldreg had his chance.”
- Sauron (probably)
"Galadrial, Sauron is evil"
"From my point of view, Waldreg is evil"
"Then you are lost!"
@@RhysCallinan-hf7qxPlease learn the difference between the letters "e" and "a" .
@@Ron_Jambo_ elright. I will laern thet.
@@RhysCallinan-hf7qx Most literate american citizen right here.
“They shall be Rings of Power” has serious “So that’s it, huh? We’re some kinda Suicide Squad” vibes.
What are you, some kind of Lord of the Rings?
I wanna see a moment where Sauron is totally exhausted and falls over. Then a hand appears over him. He looks up and sees Waldreg smiling as he says to him "You didnt think I would let you go alone did you?" He lifts him up and the real series finally begins.
"Wake the fuck up, Saurai. We have a Mordor to make great again" - Waldreg (probably)
Cinema.
Honestly the Arondir wearing wood armor in front of the ents is a brilliant idea. The entwife could try talking to the face on his armor, and realize it’s a dead ent and kill them all. That would have been immaculate
So all the entwives disappeared cuz they are off to find the manager?
@@kinagrill ...that...........might actually be canon, in a way....?
Tolkin becoming a particle accelerator in his grave when he sees the orc baby
I mean... they do breed. They "multiply," specifically.
says the person who hasn't read the books
Tolkien said nothing about them having human family values. You read the books but didn’t understand them.
@@reek4062The problem isn't that they breed and that orc women and children exists, the problem here is how it's presented , with what we know of the orcs they wouldn't be loving father or give a shit about the safety of the babies they would far more likely give them the minimal care to survive and then leave them to their own devices
An orc child existing is fine, but a loving orc family is hilariously out of line.
"Frodo my lad, did I ever tell you the tale of Waldreg the Unwashed, the man who made Mordor? Or of our cannibalistic ancestors who stole people's wheels?"
- Bilbo Baggins
“Bilbo have you been off your medication again?”
- Frodo Baggins
“Waldreg had his chance to shower.”
- Bilbob Bagginbox
"Sauron has yet to reveal his deadliest servant. Waldreg The Unwashed of Mordor."
"I thought not. It's an Orc legend. Waldreg the Unwashed was a Sleem Lord so wise and so powerful, he could influence the script writers to create... Mordor."
What? No.
Well yes, but that isn't the point.
the Balrogs show up "Morgoth, is that a spider?"
"i can explain, it got out of hand."
lmfao that way of explaining the lore is always hilarious XD
now I imagine Balrogs sitting in a circle having a discussion. 😅
@@sparkypackGotta get the memers on that.
"Got out of hand" is also funny, because Morgoth promised Ungoliant that he would feed her out of both hands if she did his favor for him. Their falling out occurred when she demanded more food and he gave her all the jewels he had stolen from the Noldor and was holding in one hand, but refused to give her the other hand, which was concealing the Silmarils. She had grown vast and powerful by feeding on the light from the two Trees, the last of which was contained in the SIlmarils, so they were what she really wanted to eat. They were fighting over Morgoth's breaking their deal to give her the literal contents of his hand.
Hand technicalities recur with the Silmarils. King Thingol basically kicked his daughter's suitor Beren to the curb saying "don't come back without a Silmaril in your hand." He succeeded against all odds, and at the cost of Galadriel's brother's life, in stealing one of the Silmarils from Morgoth, but then Sauron's biggest werewolf attacked him and bit off the hand in which he held the Silmaril. He returned to Thingol's court and basically showed his stump ... and Thingol accepted the deal, and let Beren marry his daughter because the Silmaril was technically in his hand, even if both were in a werewolf's stomach.
Annatar: Wouldn't those rings help you to get back into your father's inheritance?
Durin: Pardon me for answering your question with one of my own, if I may.
Annatar *smiles and nods politely *
Durin: WHO THE F*CK ARE YOU?
I hAvE mAnY nAmEs
@Vario69 Durin: "Oh you certainly do and I might give you some more if you don't start making sense now!"
@@Nokaret *the scene abruptly cuts and everything resolves off screen because the writers ran out of brain cells *
With the death of Waldreg, the thread of prophecy has been severed.
Unfortunately, the writers will persist in the doomed world they have created.
This writers are worse Dreamers then Dagot Ur!
What a fool you are! I’m a god, how can you kill a god? What a grand and intoxicating innocence!
If only they had redrafted to restore the weave of fate.
5:29:45 "this land is so evil our horses give off no speed!"
- dookey Elrond, probably
This land is so evil I give off no fucks, Elrond!
5:26:10
“Mr Elrond, they have a saying in Chicago: 'Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. The third time it's Sauron'.”
“Do you know how the Orcs first came into being? Well you see, Morgoth and Adar were in the dungeons making orc babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me."
-Saruman the White
"I made you a birthday cake Lurtz. As I am your Daddy, I hope you will appreciate it."
Honor your great-grandfather Glug!
I can see that happening
It's like with Loki in Marvel. Lafi's son.
Lurtz, Saruman's son. Taken in to become the rightful heir to Isengard. You are going to marry a wonderful woman and have many kids.
I just had a thought 😄. Pretty sure Balrog has a family too, and that evil wizard Gandalf killed him! 😢 He killed him!!!
If the legendary Elven crafter Celebrimbor not being competent enough to invent a functioning umbrella doesn't perfectly illustrate what's wrong with this show I don't know what does.
They say that writers can only write what they know...
Ent: "Have you touched bow or limb of a tree with an axe?"
Don Lemonlos (Slowly hides bow an arrows behind his back): "Noooooo, I've neeeever done that..."
I fell asleep whilst listening and got gifted a membership apparently so whoever did that thank you very much sir
"The elves are coming over here and eating our shelobs!" - El Trumpâzon
THEY'RE EATING THE WARGS
EATING THE WARGS... E-EATING THE WARGS!!!!!
And turning the freaking hobbits gay!
I'm fully convinced the writers used Extra Credits as a writing guide
that would explain a lot
Shelob was just trying to warn Isildur to not be corrupted by the One Ring. She just didn't unlock her goth mommy form yet
The Showrunners have, perhaps unsurprisingly, fallen for a common misconception about the Rings.
Sauron did NOT create Rings for Dwarves and Men. Sauron, in disguise, would work with the Elves to create 16 Rings of Power in his long term plan to corrupt the Elves. The Rings were meant to be used by the Elves and in fact the Elves did use these Rings. In secret however, the Elves would create three more Rings of Power (the ones seen in the show). As such they were free of any Sauron influence.
When Sauron completed the One Ring and put it on the Elves wearing the other 16 Rings of Power immediately knew something was wrong and took off the Rings. They would then lock away these Rings. This pissed Sauron off as his whole Grand Plan fell apart instantly. What would follow would be a very, very long period of wars, raids and espionage by Sauron to re-claim the 16 Rings of Power from the Elves. Which he succeeded at and THEN he gave 7 of them to the Dwarves and 9 to Men as a Plan B.
Bonus Trivia: The Rings didn't really work all that well on Dwarves because Dwarves lack a proper Soul to corrupt.
There should be a big emphasis on LONG TERM PLAN.
It looks ages to get the elves' trust, and he never got everyone's trust.
The dwarves lacking souls isn’t confirmed canon, having one (recent) source I’m aware of, and it’s not a particularly reliable one (I really wish people wouldn’t editorialize Tolkiens work when they write books about his writings; just cite his writings, authors):
Reinders, Eric (2024). Reading Tolkien in Chinese: Religion, Fantasy, and Translation. Perspectives on Fantasy series. London, UK: Bloomsbury Academic
That’s from Wikipedia which is known to be unreliable at best.
Other sources say they would get reincarnated (One Ring Wiki).
Dwarves lived longer than Men,[2] often up to two-hundred-and-fifty years, though Durin I may have lived as long as two-thousand-and-five-hundred years. As many of their later kings seemed in likeness to the Seven Fathers of the Dwarves, most Dwarves believed that the spirits of the Fathers were able to return to their dead bodies during times of importance or struggle, coming back to life in order to save their people. King Durin I was thought to have returned to life six times, ruling over his folk with seven lives.
The Silmarillion: It says that the elves believe that, after death, dwarves return to the stone from which they were made. But according to dwarvish tradition, Mahal (Aule, the Vala that created the dwarves) gathers their spirits into a separate hall set apart in the Halls of Mandos. It’s further said that Iluvatar gave them a place among the Children in the end, and that after the Dagor Dagorath the dwarves will help Aule rebuild the earth.
There’s also a curious belief that the Seven Fathers of the dwarves can be reborn, and are reincarnated several times. Durin, the most famous of the old fathers, was reborn seven times (if the legends are to be believed.)
Source being the much more reliable source, Tolkien himself:
The Silmarillion, Quenta Silmarillion, Chapter II: "Of Aulë and Yavanna"
Also, the Dwarven rings and the One Ring did indeed have an effect on them, amplifying their greed, covetousness, and wrath. This is also mentioned in the Silmarillion if I recall correctly. What it did NOT do was allow Sauron to dominate them, much to his annoyance.
But regarding the elves and origins of the rings, you’re correct as I remember it. Granted, I’m an old man, and I have to look these things up to remind myself sometimes.
that last part is bullshit, they have proper souls. just that they area a more stubborn and willful breed than men are as a whole. while men tend to be more fearful and desperate, uncertain of themselves.
You expected these writers to be able to read or use a wiki? Honestly I think my Toaster could write a better story more in line with Tolkien.
I saw someone point out that the showrunners' knowledge of the making of the rings was likely from PJ's prologue, and that is why certain things are the way they are in the show (and in fact the showrunners themselves have said that their pitch was a 5 season version of the prologue). In the prologue, we're told that 3 rings were "given" to the elves, 7 to the dwarves, and 9 to men. Let's note that this is the exact order it's being done in RoP, even though the 3 elven ones were last in canon. Also, it's possible they took the word "given" literally, which is why Sauron was more involved in making them than in canon. What a messed up timeline this is, eh.
Those poor giant spiders, they just wanted to tell Isildor's future for him, not their fault humans cannot cope with all that cosmic knowledge and their heads explode.
Re Earien suddenly betraying the king for Pharazon, and why did she do it- this is yet another example of how the showrunners forget to put character motivations on screen. The actress, Ema Horvath, said during s1 that Earien greatly admired Pharazon, so much so that her main interest in Kemen was that he was Pharazon's son. This was news to me, since there was no clue in the show. So now, in s2, one might think that the only reason she's supporting Pharazon is her brother "dying", when she was already fully behind him.
Is this show even worth covering now that Waldreg is gone?
To me Waldreg is like L from Death Note. Without him carrying the show, the same way he carried the key to create Mordor, what's even the point?
He’ll be back as the mouth of Sauron.
Galadriel: how does one kill an orc? For a horse like you - i'll keep it simple, kick, stab, gut."
To be honest, Waldreg never cared about them, innocent or otherwise.
Can we please address the fact that Sauron never made any rings for Men and Dwarves?
Imagine they had Isildur work with the orc to escape the spiders. Wouldve been a great opportunity for the writers to add some relatability to the orcs, instead of resorting to the orc family thing
The writers chose to depict the orcs having wives and children because they believe the nuclear family is inherently evil.
Based take
Orcs having families is the dumbest thing to criticize.
@@reek4062 explain.
@@reek4062 Ah, someone who knows nothing of the lore.
@@reek4062I agree, it is literally the dumbest thing in the show. And we are criticizing it.
Therefore, it is the dumbest thing to criticize.
So there's three types of proto-Hobbit: Harfoots, Stoors, and Fallowhides. Harfoots and Fallowhides are more like modern Hobbits, with Harfoots being darker and Fallowhides being well white. Stoors were weird comparably, being slightly taller on average, growing beards, wearing boots, and taking to water really well swimming and being expert boatmen.
The Shire was settled mainly by Fallowhides and some Harfoots, while other Harfoots lived near the Dwarves in the Blue Mountains, and the Stoors lived mainly in the Vale of the Anduin.
Smeagol and Daegol were Stoors.
The remaining Stoors were wiped out by the Nazghul in their hunt for the Ring.
Why would you put Stoors in a desert?
My absolute cynical, tinfoil hat take? They got tired of people complaining about character ethnicities, and so put them in the desert to provide an "excuse" for the darker skintones.
@@TaoScribble No, they want people complaining about that, they need to play the racist card to deflect all criticism from their pitiful writing.
would that mean that gollumw as a stoor?
@@taddad2641 Gollum is kinda his own thing at this point, but if he could be healed of all the corruption of the Ring he would die as a Stoor.
Lmao stoor genocide
2:31:00 On the topic of the forging of the rings, the whole point was that nobody was able to make those because the rings are, essentially, super-advanced magitech in the setting. The material of the rings was never supposed to be special. A good analogy I've read in the past was that the Rings of Power were like integrated circuitry. What is a circuit board made of? Silicon from sand, copper, maybe some gold contacts... nothing especially ground-breaking. The tricky part is the configuration of those materials and the manufacturing process itself, and turning that into a computer is another thing entirely.
The magical ingredient isn't mithril; it was Annatar/Sauron all along, who stole the knowledge of how to make the bloody things from his previous Valar master before he joined Morgoth. That was his "gift", and as expected, the show absolutely butchers it the same way it does everything else.
'You can believe in dragons but not a bearded man dressed as a clown?'
Just because there’s magic in one place doesn’t mean there’s magic everywhere else 😜
Waldreg will return
In Waldreg: A Lord of the Rings Story
@@terrasur4168Nope, they changed the title to the “Chronicles of Waldreg: A Middle-Earth Story.”
Or Middle Earth: A View hosted by Waldreg.
'Waldreg somehow returned"
Waldregs Gude to the Galaxy: Mordor edition
Rags saying it's aragorn not eragon we have to stop this but...he keeps saying isildur differently everytime he says it and sometimes can't even say sauron right either 😂
It will never not be funny that the giant gorge where the bridge was destroyed by lightning is the location of Sarn Ford.
A 'ford' being "a shallow place in a river or stream allowing one to walk or drive across."
Who knew the Brandywine was such a big river with massive gorges?
@@beowulfsrevenge4369 Who knew Isildur had a sister with such massive…plot contrivances…😉
@@scionofdorn9101 They're her defining features.
I just realized that the way Galadriel has been characterized thus far, she is quite literally the female version of boogie.
"Elrond, remember what you promised me? Don't you think you could trust me on this?"
"Why yes Galadriel I do, but if you remember, the 'promise' was to ensure that Sauron wouldn't rise to control all of middle-earth"
"YOU LIAR! YOU LIAR! HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF A COLLOQUIALISM IN YOUR LIFE?! YOU FUCKING GOOGLED IT! (love ya tho)"
Let’s get this straight: the creator’s of this show absolutely consider this a prequel to Peter Jackson’s trilogies, not a strictly Tolkien show. This despite not having the right to do that or the permission and Peter Jackson having nothing to do with it. Some may find this irrelevant, but personally I find it distasteful to use the same or similar fonts, to use imagery where they can, even use quotes from Jackson’s trilogies (whether written originally by Tolkien or not) to make this project directly connected to 6 movies they had nothing to do with, and desperately wanted to inherit. Not everybody who loves the movies is an avid fan of Tolkien. I would wager there are more fans of the movies than there are straight up Tolkien fans.
Having said that, It annoys me to no end. If you are going to unofficially make a show hoping to ape the audience from a wildly popular and generally accepted to be masterpieces (well, The Lord if the Rings, not The Hobbit so much) you damn well better make sure you’re up to the task. Your show needs to be more than just references and imagery from that thing. You need to have at least a somewhat close in quality story to tell; and, my God, you need to remember that when you are trying to draw an audience from a hugely popular piece of media you are inviting comparison to that piece of media. Your show better be able to stand next to it. This show doesn’t even come close. I watched the first season and I couldn’t help but feel the lack of “epicness”, I felt that the show wanted me to believe it was taking place in the same place as the trilogies it was drawing from took place but failed at that miserably. The show made Middle Earth feel small and empty. And that is the issue the whole show has throughout - every moment of it feels like it is pretending to be something it fails to actually be. It makes the whole thing feel fake, look fake. Star Wars under Disney has the same issue. Because it’s true. Both are pretending they are as good as the media they’re drawing from but seems to not really “get” what made that media great, so all they can do is make as many references to that better thing in the hopes of fooling you into believing they are one and the same. They aren’t.
PJ's ''LotR'' films are not masterpieces; on the contrary, they are very generic and cliche-ridden.
@@reek4062 "They have a cave troll"
7:38:20 Hey Bob'olas, Nick'dir and Sally'driel - you three wear the rings for now.
Also you'll stay at home, do pottery or something. We'll check on you from time to time to make sure it's no evil pottery though.
Waldreg the Grey will return as Waldreg the White, only when the time is right.
Precisely when he means to 😉
The misdirection is people think Gandalf was the guy with the Harfoots, but it will turn out it was Waldreg.
I think the worst part about Arondir giving her shit for branding is it goes directly against what soldiers are taught to do as POWs. You do everything you can to survive, resist, and escape (or wait for rescue). Being branded is not the same as giving up intel or compromising your allies and country.
Waldreg has ascended to join the honourable Wilford Brimley, James Earl Jones & Lemmy (hail Lemmy! 🤘).
I am so rooting for 5 seasons of this crap, I'll sign all the petitions. The memes & reviews are a goldmine of laughs & Amazon losing hundreds of millions or 1.2........ BIIIIIIIIILLLION so far is the cherry on top 😁
Waldreg is the only thing that gives me joy in life
Joel literally wrote the Rings of Power to torture us
HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT !!! he can't keep getting away with it...
"oh my god, he caused a volcanic eruption that destroyed the southlands! No cities, no buildings - not even a single wall dreg is left!"
"Waldreg, huh? Heh... I kinda like the sound of that..."
If they’re committed to five seasons I’d rather they just reboot it completely at this point with a new cast and production team and writers and… what they have is unsalvageable and utterly unremarkable in every facet. It’s too bland and sanitized, I know a lot of people think that’s Tolkien but seriously The Silmarillion and Children of Hurin are both anything but, and they can be extremely depressing and dark.
They’ve broken the lore and stripped and wonder and magic from his work to spit out this soulless slog of filter smeared sludge. With the budget they had it’s inexplicable how utterly mediocre everything is, or perhaps that explains it all too well. If it wasn’t Tolkien it would be inoffensive, bland, boring, and forgettable… but it’s not. I hate this more than I hated The Acolyte because Star Wars was already a tainted brand by that point, this is poison introduced into a healthy body.
Watch the "Whitest Kids U Know Cubicle Boss" and that's gist of how insistent the shoerunners are despite the protests.
This is intentional cultural vandalism by people whom hate Western civilization and traditional values. They’d rather see the world painted communist red.
This is deliberate vandalism done for political reasons.
The desecration of Tolkien’s works is very intentional.
@@terrasur4168 Um did you forget about the Hobbit trilogy? Tolkien's work was tainted before Star Wars was. Whatever helps you cope though.
One of my lol moments in ep4 was when the two harfoots jump off the cliff and roll down the hill from the left and when they stop a huge cloud of dust appears from the right😂
#RestoreTheWaldregverse
Lmao Rags casually doing uppers *_and_* downers 😅
7:08:30
I am pretty sure the Shire is supposed to be like the least magical place in Middle Earth. And hobbits in general have essentially no magic at all.
Aragon Legolas and Gimli chasing the Urukhai is considered a legendary feat of endurance in LoTR. even for elves, that distance at the speed they went is heroic
At this point, the only thing that can save The Rings of Power is to introduce a new Harefoot character named Skibidi who lives in a hole in the ground.
Having now seen reviews to the end relistening to this is hilarious, especially the start of ep4 when you talk about galadriel and helbran etc for a good 5 minutes, so many bits of that are great to register to
E.g. push galadriel off a cliff, your prediction that she will have a showndown with helbran at the end so he can woo her spot on etc
The Rings of Waldreg
the Palantíri repair man skits are absolute gold
Wanna see cartoon versions of that.
The reason these horses are special... Is because they too, have read the script.
Enough with the quail sauce! Give me the meat and give me it raw.
Well, if you insist. {unzips}
3:35:50 why are there crumbled old castles? why are they in ruins of castles when they use castles? what happened to the castle? was it the Earthquake of Evil??? perhaps. damage looks kinda old, though. the damage done to the stone is all worn-over. must've been some spoopy earthquake.
1:47:23 “Orcing 9 to 5, what a way to make a living’,
barely gettin’ by, on maggoty bread and no man-flesh,
Sauron just uses our kind, and he never give us credit
It's enough to drive us to cannibalism if you let it!”
Or
“My Orcy takes the morning train, he Orcs from 9 to 5 and then, he takes another home again to find me waiting for him!”
you didnt choose this, you didnt want this, yet there it is - you were marked by Adar and you're now a Wildzi
Hearing Fringy breakout into the “I’m not a wizard” was a surprise and a pleasant one at that but I think this show is slowly breaking everyone’s brains.
5:58:30
How does something this expensive get made so poorly?
I think it’s a money laundering scheme
Either it's money laundering or some big bank or another is using this as part of its social engineering campaign.
Timestamp?
Money laundering.
@@camillecunningham7348 around 5:58:30 Lasts till 5:59:55
There are exactly three reasons to pay attention to RoP. One is shows like this rightly mocking it. The other two are on Eärien’s chest.
The Halloween Arc is probably Nightmare on Elm Street. There's nine films and they've mention Freddy a few times in recent streams that imply they've seen the movies
Well, we won’t know for sure until they post a trailer of some kind.
Either Halloween, Elm Street or Friday the 13th. I prefer Halloween but maybe it's a mix of the best of each franchise. Or we could be wrong. Probably something along the lines of what we got with Final Destination or Saw.
I noticed another thing - this show doesn't have any songs. If anything, Bombadil should have had a song. They are so rushing the plot they never added any.
How in the world is Sauron going to convince Celebrimbor to make him an all powerful ring and keep up with the charade that he's an angel. Like, the whole point of the creation of the rings is that Sauron tricked EVERYONE, no one knew who he was. Here however everyone BUT Celebrimbor knows he's Sauron, and I don't see how he could create the remaining rings without finding out that he's evil without first receiving a lobotomy.
We need an Ultimate Showdown between Waldreg and Mog.
Mog the doormat? What's the point - he'd obviously get waldrecked
@@Nokaret I don't know.... I think he's proto-Palpatine.
@@Nokaret "Get Waldrecked" is totally his combat catchphrase. 😅
@@matthewcollins4773 "Get Waldrecked" vs "You just got Mogged"
Waldreg will return to establish the rightful era of orcs!
what can men do against such reckless hate
Waldreg"hold my sword key"
Galadriel says “Go back to the void from whence you came!” in The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug. So that already took the line from Gandalf but at least they changed it a little.
Why do they call it Mordor instead of Waldregland?
Waldregard
Waldrugs
His name was Waldreg Mordor
Ha on IMDB Glug the orc "Robert strange" gets 5th billing as in he's the fifth actor they name and appears in 10 episodes, behind Elrond (10 episodes) ahead of Nori(9 episodes).
This is possibly the best panel to discuss this show! Metal, Goger, random film talk and the little platoon! It makes for some quality entertainment.
"The slow drip splits the boulder" is a Utica expression
Wait, I thought Amazon wasn't allowed to say Halflings, but the 'dark wizard' guy literally calls the Harfoots, Halflings.
They can't say Hobbit. "Hafling" is a widely used term in fantasy media.
7:01:00 Don't you get it? It's a reference to The Never Ending Story's Swamp of Sadness. Arondir dies here.
Oh, wait. No he doesn't.
_WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?! A DIONOGA?!?!_
It’s gotten so bad people are claiming it’s a Sauron origin story
I wish I had a billion dollars to piss away on passionless spaff.
I find it so strange that we live in a world where most mainstream media is just completely built on "And Then" storytelling that has virtually no rhyme or reason behind it, while South Park is known for demanding a higher quality of their storytelling, where everything matters and leads to the next thing and pretty much everything has a point.
Evil makes fire not hot but it makes lightning REALLY hot. You really got to have a grasp on the arbitrary workings of evil you know.
Waldreg my beloved
5:34:00 With the discussion of the "premonitions", it could be the writers harking back to LOTR where Galadriel tells Frodo that her mirror will show him "things that were, things that are, and somethings that have not yet come to pass."
I think they outright steal that turn of phrase in EP 5
Episode 350 of EFAP should be named after the classic South Park meme of Chief’s Dad being scammed by The Loch Ness Monster.
I do not get why the Palantír is a bad thing. Firstly, pretty sure the Valar gave it to Númenor, not the Elves, they cannot make such magic. Second, Sauron never once touched any of the Palantír, nor even knows about them, so they cannot be corrupted. The reason they were in the Third Age is due to him capturing one of them in Minas Morgul.
Ah, just as the spiders predicted
“My Tipples are sort of stretched, like butter twisted over too long a time”
Bilius Bungleton the Third
These episodes were Rags is lead are really good. It's more... Whimsical, laid back, goofy, the whole atmosphere he (unintentionally?) sets up invites others to play off of it in a fun way.
I think he'd be a worse fit for something serious like e.g. Arcane, and I would prefer Mauler to lead that as usual, but for a clown show like this, Rags is perfect.
Bro that nibble aint no Tom Bombadil, you can hear that fool coming a mile away cause he is always singing his fucking name
2:21:36 Oh boy, are you gonna LOVE Sauron’s face when Celebrimbor does something in Ep 6
I don't know why they didn't do the series as almost an anthology with Sauron being the connecting thread and each season is a new actor playing Sauron in another form and centers around how he convinces each race to accept the rings of power. You could even have a b plot just for Numenor and it's eventual destruction
FFS in the books Tom Bombadil can hardly talk a sentence without mentioning Goldberry, he is fucking SMITTEN to that woman and for good reason!
Rags running these has been hilarious. It's a nice change of pace when the other main hosts take over facilitation now and then.
Something I find bizarre is okay you have spooky forest which has a lot of bad rumours about it, now either that's been there forever OR it randomly sprung up after the volcano and considering Shelob isn't a fan of light that would imply that A) She's now in the forest because of da volcano exploding OR B) She was already in the forest/cave but than because it was darker she went out into the village, and headed straight for that village despite an volcano exploding would be quite the hell nah I'm staying inside. Anyway she randomly came across this village and than dragged Isuldur what a few miles back to the cave... but of course he didn't wake up on that hour(s) long trip. Also that would be quite the trip out of her area and she clearly already has plenty of food. That's quite the risk for baby Shelob to take. You would assume she has captured enough orcs and other animals, as she had the energy to produce children. Finally we know that she stings her prey, so how the fck he can even move is close to impossible as Shelob would wrap him so tight that it would be impossible to get out without someone there to cut you out.
Next random point who the fck got Shelob pregnant? This is partly a jk as I know in lore she has children but here she's not even close to being fully grown despite what existing since the first age at least. I'm fairly certain that she had to mate with lesser broods and in some cases her own children although like her mother I think she also ate them and like most spiders, the men who were chosen did not survive this encounter. Why is she so small here? It's been what a few hundred if not thousands of years since she was born. Hell she was likely born quite the massive spider as Ungoliant was a giant.
The wandavision mention made me remember somethign rather stupid.
why couldn't they have had it that in wandavision that Wanda was actively trying to to undo her own hex but was failing, rather than willingly choosing to let it contniue? Basically she has to fight her own trauma and self in order to free everyone. makes her far less malicious and stupid if her mind was so unwell she lsot control of her own power.
Welcome to Mordor!
-crowd cheers
The adventures of Waldreg.
Don't these writers know that making Numenor have an elected monarchy DESTROY Aragorn's claim to the throne of Gondor (or any claims to any thrones) ? I mean, they're stupid but really?!?
Waldreg will return with robot legs.
"You're a wizard, Harry."
Aussie here: we also have sub-tropics and some temperate parts are even cold enough to get snow, and some parts are legit straight up Alpine regions. and while we do have a "big desert" its actually a bunch of large deserts blotched between sections of Scrubland
"Tipples" - Waldreg
6:57:46 Home on the Range reference in the wild????
Beware, when RFT says 'just quickly'. Down the rabbit hole.... 😅
23:43 The web is always right
1:08:18 You can’t spell “funeral” without “feral”
01:03:00 From the original legendarium's perspective, this is again a misrepresentation of Númenórë as they started building ships like after 7 centuries of staying on the island, their culture had nothing to do with the sea, so the shells are ridiculously out of place. In fact, they put a wreath on the bows of their ships to symbolise coming home. And they detested sailors (at least, at first - see the tale of Erendis and Aldarion. Granted, this could be set in a later period, but the timeline is so jumbled as to not make any sense either way).
- Adûnâi