To anyone reading this, I pray that the pain in your heart when a narcissist harms you will be erased. May the long nights of tears give way to the dawn of hope and peace. Amen.
@@lovelytrejo6678 Thank you for sharing. I truly understand how you feel, and I hope you find the love and comfort you deserve. Wishing you all the best!
I'm the scapegoat in my "family" of origin and in my extended family. There are a few things they could never steal from me, one of them Is my older years, I won't be by their side at their death bed. I won't attend their funerals. I won't change their diappers. I won't cry when they are gone. I said good bye some 5 years ago 🎉, and I'm so blessed and thankful for that.
Me neither, if, when my disordered spouse passes, ( he has been diag with a term cancer). I will not be sad..I have regret I didn’t get out before he was diagnosed…I’ve already been grieving the relationship we could’ve had, and abuse free marriage I should’ve had,…etc. I will have to be careful as most outsiders have no clue of the depth of their abnormal behaviors…so in private I will celebrate when his number is called.
I actually have/had (stopped answering her calls this week) a friend who is blaming her soon to be ex-husband for giving her a bacteria that is killing her. (I don't think she's dying, too many contradictions) She's lost a lot of weight. She forgets that she told me she was taking a weight loss drug several months ago. The things she says are crazy and she won't listen or get help, so I know she's a narcissist swimming in her own cess pool. I can't take anymore of her lies even tho we only talk on the phone. (live in different states) Her poor ex. (I think? he may be as bad as her?) Says her kids will probably take her in if she cries hard enough...really? wow. They told her they can't deal with her.
I’ve dealt with a person like this. They will message me and complain about things like their health or job. Paranoid behavior and anger issues too, blames others.
I had both of my parents that were Narcissists. Growing up my Mom would abuse physically and mentally my younger brother and myself. She would beat us up with a belt buckle, burned my legs with an iron. We lived a horrific childhood and teenage years. My father was 11 years older than my mother and he abused her mentally, physically and emotionally. He would leave her black and blue and bleeding at times. He died 22 years ago and was still on denial, very aggressive verbally and physically to my aunt( his sister) who took care of him till he passed. My mother is 92 years old today on denial as well; very manipulative behavior but not as bad as she used to be. It most definitely impacted our lives negatively and emotionally. My brother had several relationships but was never able to handle the emotional responsibility and never married. He’s 60 years old today and single, unhappy and unfortunately he turned just like our parents. I’ve been married for 42 years and recently filled for divorce 2 years ago. I was never able to have an emotional connection and was never in love with my ex-husband. I agree with your statement and explicit reasoning. Unfortunately I don’t think there is any cure for individuals with Narcissistic Disorder. The best is to put distance between but it’s very difficult. Thank you for sharing your journey and experience with a Narcissistic relative.
I wish you peace and healing. That really is horriric. My narc father did beat me and my brother up. My brother is in a mental institution now. I havent seen him since more than 15 years. I want to save him but dont know how to. My mother doesnt tell me which hospital/home he is in now. And I pray and hope that he is not narcisstic. He was a normal kid.
She burned my left thigh too with an iron. I still have the scar but it faded just small holes from the bottom of the iron are there. Hugs to you and have a peaceful holiday.
My brother is a Malignant Narcissist and at 57 he is still clinging to our mother's apron strings. It's getting to the point of elder abuse, she's 89. It is demonic oppression or possession, he left the church because he was caught sending inappropriate pics to other member's wives. He's a sick puppy and the clock is ticking to a volcanic meltdown. His eyes haved turned darker, and his gaight is almost a lurching motion. Something changed. Creepy.
Protect your mother she is unknowingly enabling this behaviour. It will only get worse for her. She might as well cut him loose because if she passes (God forbid) he'll be alone anyway.
@Gigi0408 I'm trying. He had a calendar made with himself, and my mom featured in pics, 12 months. In every picture, he is leaning on her, or holding her arm or hand. He never married or had children. Classic textbook Malignant Narcissist !
The narc I knew did not become nastier, he simply became weak. He asked me to be with him all the time. He cried like a child and asked me why everyone always left him. He asked me to stay with him forever - like a child does. It was quite sad. He was very compliant and good. But he regained his strength in a month or so and became the conniving jerk he'd been.
You mean they do not suddenly have an epiphany and realize all of the harm they have caused, Danish?! NOPE! It is business as usual AND they are ALWAYS the victim. Thank you, Danish, and Merry Christmas, my friend…🙏🏽🥰🙏🏽🎄🎄🎄
I've experienced rage out of nowhere, where eyes go black and they're shaking and grinding on their teeth. I've also experienced shifting of blame where they're so convinced it was me that did something which I had 0 control over. Luckily this person is no longer in my life.
Thanks, Danish. You are 100% correct. Even when the ambulance came to take him to the hospital for his final amount of time, he was exactly as you explained it. The medical personnel had evidently seen this type of person before. Without me telling them anything, they clearly indicated to me that they knew and saw.
Wow, the timing of me seeing this video is perfect, I was with a narcissist for 4 years, and when we stopped seeing each other, i found the love of my life, but because i was trauma bonded, i ended up ruining things but i realized my mistakes, and did all i could to make sure i got her back and i did
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i am in a similar situation, and i do not know what else do to have him back, i have been dying inside, people actually think i am happy, i am not.
I feel your pain , after trying out the no contact experiment that failed miserably, i had to find other means, i had to reach out to a spiritual adviser, it was brilliant idea which i never thought it was, but it worked wonders for me.
So true. They unlevel the playing field even more, and move the goal posts further again. Every time. Any narcissistic relationship is always abusive because they require you to abandon yourself and play a role. The only way you can stop the abuse is to quit playing the game, in whatever way you do it. I think when you recognize the game and you find a way to stop participating in it, your recovery will start to take shape in the way you need it to.
8:27 Thank goodness for your videos, Danish. You've given me the tools to cope and to make sense of what was happening. He has sat with a face on him all day because it's Christmas and he hates all types of holidays and prefers to be miserable and make everyone around him feel miserable too. Evil. I just ignored him and let him get on with it.
I can't help but laughing so hard because this is so accurate! 😅 "Come to the hospital or you won't see me again 'cause I am having a heart attack" 🤣 Every time when I tried to set boundaries or when I finally chose to leave my covert narcissistic partner he got ill or something happened where I was "the only person he could turn to." And right in this moment his life is falling apart completely and he thinks it's beacuse he is depressed because I left. But no. He is depressed because he is a deeply depressing person. And when I am not around he can't project his negativity onto me no more. He is left to chew and swallow his own bitterness. And I agree with him. He is truly the biggest victim in this world. The biggest victim of his own BS.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
Spot on! My son in law has been exposed. He’s expectedly in denial. A sense of relief for me. I feel bad for my daughter. 6 months of this I have experienced and no more. I will move out soon. I can’t believe I was lied to. Thank for your videos.
They get worse they are even more the victim become so vengeful and angry like how dare you call me out on my wrong doings. It's disgusting you will never win. 😮😮
there are also mini collapses and micro collapses as welll, ...if somebody blows up at you and then you see them later with somebody else doing the same thing to others in a manipulative manner. then they had a micro collapse with you and they see you watching them , that is the same as making an injured narcissist! a collapse is nothing more than they cant get you to do what they want!
When my mother was in hospital, dying, she would tell my golden sister: Oh, go to the beach, relax, have some rest. You must be so tired of taking care of me. When sister left, mother said to me: I have sent her away because she treats me roughly. i wand YOU to take care of my baths, etc, etc because you do it gently.
I just drew a huge intake breath when you noted their eyes turn black. I took a photo of my former husband perhaps three years ago sitting in his recliner with the cat in his lap. I’ve looked at that picture countless times. He was looking at me with the eyes of a shark stalking his prey; they were just dead. Very frightening.
There's a lot of people who have seen that. Some sites say it's a condition YOU have. That's BS. What you saw was REAL. Extreme rage and hatred. I'm so glad you aren't with him anymore. Take care, and have a beautiful new year!
I am so grateful that you are here to make sense of this. It's very meaningful to see your spot on synopsis of what we're going through and an explanation of this bizarre behavior. Have a blessed New Year and tysm for what you do! 🎉
Thank you Danish for your videos. You have helped my Hubby and I so much. We are experiencing every single thing you have just described. My narcissistic 84 year old father in law is experiencing this collapse . We are in the midst of it and nobody believes us when we ask for help . He has manipulated, verbally abused and physically attacked me. I have seen the black eyes you describe and they are the darkest and most dangerous individuals you will ever meet.
Look,beyond a point the threats just don't work anymore and they KNOW it. Fully agree. Narc abuse does not stop until WE stop playing the game. We need to cut the cords. These mf's never servere ties completely.
@@monicarai1497 Thank you. I have severed ties with my father. But my mother keeps bringing him in and makes him a condition although she has suffered under him too.
Thank you immensely Danish, for these eye openers on Narcissism. I never knew a thing about these people until this month, listening to you. Then I realized I’ve seen a couple of them in my lifetime. 😢
I have experienced EVERYTHING you described in this video and in your other videos on how a narcissist is to other family members. My son-in-law is text book. In fact, I have an up coming court date because he did attack me with mace just for cutting the grass. True story. Thanks Danish, I have learned to believe I was not the one at fault. You have justified the behavior of what a narcissist is about. I know how to rise above it. Happy Holidays! I always look forward to watching your videos.
I really THANK YOU SIR! I feel like you are reading lines out of my life. Gaining knowledge of this is empowering me in handling such situations and understanding the plot. My sister is a golden child and I am the Scapegoat, thank you so much Sir. Sharing your personal experience is helping me to relate to myself more. Thankyou! Tons of Gratitude 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you so much, Danish, for another extremely informative and empathetic video. I do have to laugh at how equally "done" you are with these family members. Oh it's the absolute worst! I'm lucky to be the black sheep, but my daughter just fell prey to her great aunt (my aunt/father's sister). My aunt lives across country and I sent my daughter to go to school and stay with her. We had no idea that she is a terrible covert narcissist and has tried to trap her in to round-the-clock elder care. I was happy to help, but I'm undermined and disrespected. Ugh! At least we narc survivors are the best of friends to each other!
My narcissistic mother insists on ordering same thing I order and then spends entire time complaining about food. Occasionally she says she is not hungry but ends up eating everything from my plate.
A hospice nurse told me that after years of working with patients and their families she came to realize that people die how they live. A lifetime of self centered, self serving narcissism prevents them from facing death gracefully due to all their evil deeds. They fight death with more chaos, drama and hostility towards those who are trying to help them. I pray they ask for God’s forgiveness, otherwise eternity for them will be bleak. My lessons from experiencing narcissistic abuse and seeing the abuser suffer and die without dignity, is that, with God’s help, the abused can grow stronger, wiser and more compassionate; purposefully pursuing a path that God prepares for those that choose to follow Him. God patiently gives the abuser time to turn from their path of destruction and follow Him, His mercies are new everyday, however He will allow the narcissist to eventually become ensnared in the web they spent their lifetime spinning for others.
Here is another, Narcissistic supply comes from effort, not outcome (60% of the time): they gain emotional nourishment from attempting to manipulate, regardless of success. Just like a Super Empath engages in caring things regardless of outcomes.
Mine goes through cycles like this all the time..wash spin cycles…Jekyll Hyde, very normal appearing to very anti social…most outsiders only see the nice nice normal, decent good ole boy… I now see him as an extremely disordered person, it is very sad that he’ll never be happy with himself etc..( he was ext psych. And vb abused from a very young age.. he was raised by his disordered mother…I’ve never seen such a case… I am his caretaker now as he is failing in health. Yes, he is as described in this video. A martyr, demanding attn, mainly psychological attn…helpless. However, his cond is very grave, term in most cases…so I err on side of caution, am very patient..as it’s very difficult to discern whether his neediness is from his cancer, I know some is due to his narcissism.. You have to get down into the psychological trenches with these kind, it is a psychological war …until you can find a way to leave.
you are very very true sir collapsing started for the past one year ... child behaviour For single touch ...he scared and yelled and shivered like an animal where the moment I shocked ... I see his face ...a typical mask removed face For every question ,he reacts late to answer ... Always he covered his face on the bed ... He avoids facing me Still he believes in control and manipulation and lies My God !
Merry Christmas Danish and thank you! If it may help anyone: for over 10 years my golden children, narcissistic siblings have controlled my mother's care without any input from me. Last year I confronted my sister over the fact that she started giving updates to my adult children and excluded me. I asked her several times and she stonewalled me each time. Right after she would start gaslighting me including me in group texts and ignoring my questions. I told her to get lost I truly want nothing to do with her. I finally told my mother last April what was happening and after several attempts she blurted out she could care less if I showed up at her deathbed and funeral And she had no intentions of asking my sister to include me in her care. I said goodbye to her and told her she would never see me again. Today, I am the talk of all the slanderous gossip networks, after all, how can a Christian woman not talk to her 90 year old mother. The answer is simple: my mother abandoned and abused me since I was a child. I finally am waking up to reality: God wants me to love others as I love myself. Loving an abusive sentimentally mother is impossible. I have to learn to love myself first by respecting my own dignity..
Yes...my mother tried to fake hospitalizations regularly..she'd still do if I didn't block her..heart attacks ..saying it's all my fault in any case..and inheritance and money weapon...
I recently diagnosed with Adhd whivh i had since childhood but got triggered in this dynamic. So my ability to connect dots and reach a conclusion made me find out his disorder abd within a year i realised that my lack of focus attention in the beginning of relationship triggered him and till now he was punishing me with silent treatment
Yes, paranoid projections of their own behaviors and wishes on to other people when they feel they no longer have the power to subject everyone around them. Yes, manipulative clinging and grasping and placing themselves in the position they imagine they have always placed others. My mother treated the elderly and dying in our family so abusively I used to think "well how is she going to trust these people when she is old and feeble and needs help?" She knew. She went off and hid away and died alone out of terror that the relatives would get ahold of her in her weakened state and show her what she had shown so many others in their hour of need. She ran away from taking responsibility for her own actions all the way to her grave. She didn't even bother trying to seduce anyone into pitying her or helping her because she knew what she would do when someone needed her -- exploit, punish, torment -- oh and she certainly wasn't going to subject herself to "turn around is fair play". She lived a coward and she did a coward. Narcissists are the biggest cowards on earth.
Unfortunarely, these things can be seen COMMON between both narcissist AND the actual Victim of narcissistic abuse (one example : these symptoms manifesting as trauma-response for Victim). So a narcissist can actually misuse this video to demonize the Victim as being the narcissist.
He called the kids saying I left him with all the work all the pipes are bursting. Even a long time I left after I was mentally abuse named called etc.. he called my daughter to get a hold of me to return home because he was having a major panic attack and he was scarred. My daughter begged me mom go see if dads ok I'm really worried. Etc .. An other time he passed out and he didn't know what was happening we he came back to himself to say to me thank you for not leaving me I was so scared for the next day put me down and ignoring me yelled at me in front of his family to stop caring for him well let's say he told to stop controlling him ... Twisted the truth by putting me down. He won't stop manipulating the kids. Like today he sent a text to my son saying if you care about me or if you don't give her the message etc .. Threatened him with love manipulative way .
Holy crap been thru like all of thoes. Narcisits are brutal just got out of a 5 yr relationship or should I say situationship. Discarded 4 time I let him live here with me n my kids wen covid happend he left me last in April n trying still get me back I don't even get it. I'm done never goijg back now he will have to feel what it's like. Me n my kids n pets deserve better. So peaceful now. Except txts gonna have go no contact soon it been 7 months.still everyday just there taking up space in my head Caz always has to txt say something or he's sick or somthing bad happend like... 😂It's karma dude.. ❤Thank u for your videos.
You’re spot on a trillion percent and it’s exactly what happened to me and glad we’re separated for over a year now in a bad divorce bcs he’s a criminal mind and stole 100’s of thousands of dollars and hid it all and plus all his abuses to me and my children and grandchildren and his own family What a horrible man he is 😮😮😮😢😢😢
Its also happens that a daughter who is a narcissist, blames ONLY the mother "for everything", no matter what the father is like, but only "the mother is to blame for everything" what is happening to the daughter's life. And the more someone tries to point out that it is lie, the daughter rages more and more and hates anyone who takes her mother's side. 😮🤔🤨
My mother said to me on her death bed, she used to slap me when I was a small child she didn't give a reason.this did hurt me but I forgave she was dieing
I haven't seen my narc mom for over 25yrs. She is astral traveling during the day and is haunting me and my dogs! I'm afraid it will only get worse when she dies
I honestly believe that narcissists become poltergeists instead of ghosts when they pass away. Poltergeists have all the same behaviours - cat and mouse games, keep you awake at night, hide belongings, noisy, etc. They refuse to move on even after they die because they want attention. They don't have the brain capacity to behave any other way. I believe you about your mother visiting. They are truly unnerving people
Prayer! 🤲🏾 Believer or not this is a spiritual war especially when they can't be ner you or be involved in your life. I still have dreams where that monster appears and as always I rebuke him and chase him out of my dreams.
I don't believe a narcissist actually feels shame. They Shame others but for them they believe everything about them is perfect. I really believe we are off on the whole theory that narcissists suffered and now this is a response from trauma. Their victims suffer trauma and often move to be wonderful caring people.
Merry Christmas Danish!! 🎁🌟🎄. Thank you for all you've done and continue to do in narcissistic abuse awareness and healing. You are a gift yourself by being a ray of light helping us all ( including yourself) find our way together as well as alone. May you have a wonderful Christmas and may we all shine on! 😁🙏✝️🫂🕯️🫂🕯️🫂🕯️🫂🕯️🫂🕯️❤️
Sounded more like your father then grandfather but what do I care. I have ASD but my own family doesn't believe me because in my country psychological disorders are just lumped together into one condition "insanity". No body wants to admit to a psychological disorder because it just means you are telling people you are weak and insane and no one should believe you. My father might have been a collapse narcissist but a lot of symptoms don't match his demeanor. I only know he largely ignored me all my life focusing on my siblings but that might have just been the curse of being the middle son. He did frown on me and admonished me more then his other children. Even when I told him his elder son is the reason my career life was set back by a decade he accused me of false accusation until he lived with his elder son for 4 years and realized I was telling the truth about his ill nature but by then I had given up on fighting on my own behalf and let everyone think of me what they wanted to think.
Danish! Would you please make a video on malignant narcissist (sociopaths with covert narcissism) only if u are willing to? I was with one he was way different than other covert narcissist,eyes always blank.
Hi Danish, I just want to say that I genuinely owe my soul to you right now. The videos you’ve been sharing are cropping up at the most scarily perfect times, and I can’t begin to express how much they mean to me. I’m absolutely broken right now, grieving deeply, and all hope I had left for my parents to be good people has faded away. On top of that, I’m battling through a terrible virus and struggling to pull myself out of a relapse of anorexia. But the clarity your videos have provided has come at exactly the right moment. You are literally saving lives, including mine, and for that, I can’t thank you enough. God bless you, and please, keep doing what you’re doing. You’re making such a difference, and you’re saving so many of us. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.🙏🫶
I was the scapegoat. I was no contact for 20 years plus. Interesting how they end up. A cousin sent Me a picture of her she how died. She was slump over on the floor. I don't know why the cousin sent Me the picture. I was no contact with them as well. Really didn't care
Once you work out the narcs games and their behaviours there power goes coz you know then there only out for themselves, Even in old skool days this was looked down upon. When you realise there selfish and ignorant prooves only using you, doing this got her booted out as she took advantage of my kindness when i let her eat, she would scoff her face eating it fast on sly then by time i wanted to eat theres not much left or she ate best stuff leaving me whatevers left she did this once 2 many times nothing but a piss taker = narcissists
There is beautiful story that we were taught from the childhood. Every evening there was an idiot who was fooling that the lion is going to coming, but one evening it really came. It applies to them. Heaven's sake they can be honest and no drama so that she gets help from anybody and everybody ...She loves being from the childhood not understanding the real situation. It started from her father, then husband then so forth...
My five year relationship eith my bf ,,and muje ab realise hua hai ki vo narrasist hai, muje bharosa haii vo hai ,, ab muje visvas ni hota ki vo cute bnnee ki bs acting krta h sb fake h ,, im also have prosyis litile bit
My husband had his collapse 7 month ago....after 15 years He took so many drugs He had no Feelings He was acting demonic and still does most of the time And everything you say happened.... So im waiting 4 number 6? But he acted like he really wants 2 die ,kill himself but dont know how 2....could that b a way of how number 6 could b 2,i guess Thank u 4 ur videos❤
Sounds harsh, but I'll just live my life. I take pride in being the scapegoat. They die, oh well. It's not like they recognize their wrongdoings, so why be a doormat when you can be a scapegoat instead? Scapegoat for life
Holiday Offer on My Best Selling Courses:
www.emotionalabuserecovery.com/blckfriday
To anyone reading this, I pray that the pain in your heart when a narcissist harms you will be erased. May the long nights of tears give way to the dawn of hope and peace. Amen.
Amen. God bless you. I needed this more than you can ever know. Thank you. 🥹😔😭😭😭
@@closingthedivide1187 Thank you. Trust in God and he will help you.
Exactly I appreciate that. So sad. Just so freaking sad. I hope the same for anyone who feels the way I feel. I wish you love
@@lovelytrejo6678 Thank you for sharing. I truly understand how you feel, and I hope you find the love and comfort you deserve. Wishing you all the best!
Thankyou, that’s lovely.
I'm the scapegoat in my "family" of origin and in my extended family. There are a few things they could never steal from me, one of them Is my older years, I won't be by their side at their death bed. I won't attend their funerals. I won't change their diappers. I won't cry when they are gone.
I said good bye some 5 years ago 🎉, and I'm so blessed and thankful for that.
Me neither, if, when my disordered spouse passes, ( he has been diag with a term cancer). I will not be sad..I have regret I didn’t get out before he was diagnosed…I’ve already been grieving the relationship we could’ve had, and abuse free marriage I should’ve had,…etc. I will have to be careful as most outsiders have no clue of the depth of their abnormal behaviors…so in private I will celebrate when his number is called.
Same
I would LOVE it if a narc said they were being poisoned just so i could look them in the eye and say " You seem confused, YOU are the poison"
I actually have/had (stopped answering her calls this week) a friend who is blaming her soon to be ex-husband for giving her a bacteria that is killing her. (I don't think she's dying, too many contradictions) She's lost a lot of weight. She forgets that she told me she was taking a weight loss drug several months ago. The things she says are crazy and she won't listen or get help, so I know she's a narcissist swimming in her own cess pool. I can't take anymore of her lies even tho we only talk on the phone. (live in different states) Her poor ex. (I think? he may be as bad as her?) Says her kids will probably take her in if she cries hard enough...really? wow. They told her they can't deal with her.
Worse than poison bro poison runs in their veins evil horrible ppl
I’ve dealt with a person like this. They will message me and complain about things like their health or job. Paranoid behavior and anger issues too, blames others.
I had both of my parents that were Narcissists. Growing up my Mom would abuse physically and mentally my younger brother and myself. She would beat us up with a belt buckle, burned my legs with an iron. We lived a horrific childhood and teenage years. My father was 11 years older than my mother and he abused her mentally, physically and emotionally. He would leave her black and blue and bleeding at times. He died 22 years ago and was still on denial, very aggressive verbally and physically to my aunt( his sister) who took care of him till he passed. My mother is 92 years old today on denial as well; very manipulative behavior but not as bad as she used to be. It most definitely impacted our lives negatively and emotionally. My brother had several relationships but was never able to handle the emotional responsibility and never married. He’s 60 years old today and single, unhappy and unfortunately he turned just like our parents. I’ve been married for 42 years and recently filled for divorce 2 years ago. I was never able to have an emotional connection and was never in love with my ex-husband. I agree with your statement and explicit reasoning. Unfortunately I don’t think there is any cure for individuals with Narcissistic Disorder. The best is to put distance between but it’s very difficult. Thank you for sharing your journey and experience with a Narcissistic relative.
I wish you peace and healing. That really is horriric. My narc father did beat me and my brother up. My brother is in a mental institution now. I havent seen him since more than 15 years.
I want to save him but dont know how to. My mother doesnt tell me which hospital/home he is in now.
And I pray and hope that he is not narcisstic. He was a normal kid.
She burned my left thigh too with an iron. I still have the scar but it faded just small holes from the bottom of the iron are there.
Hugs to you and have a peaceful holiday.
My brother is a Malignant Narcissist and at 57 he is still clinging to our mother's apron strings. It's getting to the point of elder abuse, she's 89. It is demonic oppression or possession, he left the church because he was caught sending inappropriate pics to other member's wives. He's a sick puppy and the clock is ticking to a volcanic meltdown. His eyes haved turned darker, and his gaight is almost a lurching motion. Something changed. Creepy.
Protect your mother she is unknowingly enabling this behaviour. It will only get worse for her. She might as well cut him loose because if she passes (God forbid) he'll be alone anyway.
@Gigi0408 I'm trying. He had a calendar made with himself, and my mom featured in pics, 12 months. In every picture, he is leaning on her, or holding her arm or hand. He never married or had children. Classic textbook Malignant Narcissist !
The narc I knew did not become nastier, he simply became weak. He asked me to be with him all the time. He cried like a child and asked me why everyone always left him. He asked me to stay with him forever - like a child does. It was quite sad. He was very compliant and good. But he regained his strength in a month or so and became the conniving jerk he'd been.
You mean they do not suddenly have an epiphany and realize all of the harm they have caused, Danish?! NOPE! It is business as usual AND they are ALWAYS the victim. Thank you, Danish, and Merry Christmas, my friend…🙏🏽🥰🙏🏽🎄🎄🎄
Yep
I've experienced rage out of nowhere, where eyes go black and they're shaking and grinding on their teeth. I've also experienced shifting of blame where they're so convinced it was me that did something which I had 0 control over. Luckily this person is no longer in my life.
Thanks, Danish. You are 100% correct. Even when the ambulance came to take him to the hospital for his final amount of time, he was exactly as you explained it. The medical personnel had evidently seen this type of person before. Without me telling them anything, they clearly indicated to me that they knew and saw.
Wow, the timing of me seeing this video is perfect, I was with a narcissist for 4 years, and when we stopped seeing each other, i found the love of my life, but because i was trauma bonded, i ended up ruining things but i realized my mistakes, and did all i could to make sure i got her back and i did
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i am in a similar situation, and i do not know what else do to have him back, i have been dying inside, people actually think i am happy, i am not.
I feel your pain , after trying out the no contact experiment that failed miserably, i had to find other means, i had to reach out to a spiritual adviser, it was brilliant idea which i never thought it was, but it worked wonders for me.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him/ her?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
A normal person embraces their old age as a gift because not everyone is blessed with a long life. Not a narc, they become bitter.
Do they ever
So true. They unlevel the playing field even more, and move the goal posts further again. Every time. Any narcissistic relationship is always abusive because they require you to abandon yourself and play a role. The only way you can stop the abuse is to quit playing the game, in whatever way you do it. I think when you recognize the game and you find a way to stop participating in it, your recovery will start to take shape in the way you need it to.
8:27 Thank goodness for your videos, Danish. You've given me the tools to cope and to make sense of what was happening. He has sat with a face on him all day because it's Christmas and he hates all types of holidays and prefers to be miserable and make everyone around him feel miserable too. Evil. I just ignored him and let him get on with it.
.." by something that is not human.." rightly said !!
I can't help but laughing so hard because this is so accurate! 😅
"Come to the hospital or you won't see me again 'cause I am having a heart attack" 🤣
Every time when I tried to set boundaries or when I finally chose to leave my covert narcissistic partner he got ill or something happened where I was "the only person he could turn to."
And right in this moment his life is falling apart completely and he thinks it's beacuse he is depressed because I left. But no. He is depressed because he is a deeply depressing person. And when I am not around he can't project his negativity onto me no more. He is left to chew and swallow his own bitterness. And I agree with him. He is truly the biggest victim in this world. The biggest victim of his own BS.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
Jesus will set you free in every way He healed me from the narc totally as well as giving me eternal life He is the way
Spot on! My son in law has been exposed. He’s expectedly in denial. A sense of relief for me. I feel bad for my daughter. 6 months of this I have experienced and no more. I will move out soon. I can’t believe I was lied to. Thank for your videos.
They get worse they are even more the victim become so vengeful and angry like how dare you call me out on my wrong doings. It's disgusting you will never win. 😮😮
there are also mini collapses and micro collapses as welll, ...if somebody blows up at you and then you see them later with somebody else doing the same thing to others in a manipulative manner. then they had a micro collapse with you and they see you watching them , that is the same as making an injured narcissist!
a collapse is nothing more than they cant get you to do what they want!
When my mother was in hospital, dying, she would tell my golden sister: Oh, go to the beach, relax, have some rest. You must be so tired of taking care of me. When sister left, mother said to me: I have sent her away because she treats me roughly. i wand YOU to take care of my baths, etc, etc because you do it gently.
I just drew a huge intake breath when you noted their eyes turn black. I took a photo of my former husband perhaps three years ago sitting in his recliner with the cat in his lap. I’ve looked at that picture countless times. He was looking at me with the eyes of a shark stalking his prey; they were just dead. Very frightening.
There's a lot of people who have seen that. Some sites say it's a condition YOU have. That's BS. What you saw was REAL. Extreme rage and hatred. I'm so glad you aren't with him anymore. Take care, and have a beautiful new year!
sharks are beautiful💙 not like these human narcs they are evil 👿
@@deborahrobinson6553 I saw that.
I saw that.
I am so grateful that you are here to make sense of this. It's very meaningful to see your spot on synopsis of what we're going through and an explanation of this bizarre behavior. Have a blessed New Year and tysm for what you do! 🎉
Danish, i xan understand how anf what you have gone through your childhood. Your strength and courage is much appreciated
Thank you Danish for your videos. You have helped my Hubby and I so much. We are experiencing every single thing you have just described. My narcissistic 84 year old father in law is experiencing this collapse . We are in the midst of it and nobody believes us when we ask for help . He has manipulated, verbally abused and physically attacked me. I have seen the black eyes you describe and they are the darkest and most dangerous individuals you will ever meet.
Look,beyond a point the threats just don't work anymore and they KNOW it. Fully agree. Narc abuse does not stop until WE stop playing the game. We need to cut the cords. These mf's never servere ties completely.
What do you mean exactly by cutting cords?
Severing ties. What else could it mean?
@@monicarai1497 Thank you. I have severed ties with my father. But my mother keeps bringing him in and makes him a condition although she has suffered under him too.
@rahulm2827 Sorry to hear that. She's probably trauma bonded.
Thank you Danish!! Your courage is for all of us!!
Thank you immensely Danish, for these eye openers on Narcissism. I never knew a thing about these people until this month, listening to you. Then I realized I’ve seen a couple of them in my lifetime. 😢
I have experienced EVERYTHING you described in this video and in your other videos on how a narcissist is to other family members. My son-in-law is text book. In fact, I have an up coming court date because he did attack me with mace just for cutting the grass. True story. Thanks Danish, I have learned to believe I was not the one at fault. You have justified the behavior of what a narcissist is about. I know how to rise above it. Happy Holidays! I always look forward to watching your videos.
I really THANK YOU SIR! I feel like you are reading lines out of my life.
Gaining knowledge of this is empowering me in handling such situations and understanding the plot.
My sister is a golden child and I am the Scapegoat, thank you so much Sir.
Sharing your personal experience is helping me to relate to myself more. Thankyou! Tons of Gratitude 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you so much, Danish, for another extremely informative and empathetic video. I do have to laugh at how equally "done" you are with these family members. Oh it's the absolute worst! I'm lucky to be the black sheep, but my daughter just fell prey to her great aunt (my aunt/father's sister). My aunt lives across country and I sent my daughter to go to school and stay with her. We had no idea that she is a terrible covert narcissist and has tried to trap her in to round-the-clock elder care. I was happy to help, but I'm undermined and disrespected. Ugh! At least we narc survivors are the best of friends to each other!
My narcissistic mother insists on ordering same thing I order and then spends entire time complaining about food. Occasionally she says she is not hungry but ends up eating everything from my plate.
A hospice nurse told me that after years of working with patients and their families she came to realize that people die how they live. A lifetime of self centered, self serving narcissism prevents them from facing death gracefully due to all their evil deeds. They fight death with more chaos, drama and hostility towards those who are trying to help them. I pray they ask for God’s forgiveness, otherwise eternity for them will be bleak. My lessons from experiencing narcissistic abuse and seeing the abuser suffer and die without dignity, is that, with God’s help, the abused can grow stronger, wiser and more compassionate; purposefully pursuing a path that God prepares for those that choose to follow Him. God patiently gives the abuser time to turn from their path of destruction and follow Him, His mercies are new everyday, however He will allow the narcissist to eventually become ensnared in the web they spent their lifetime spinning for others.
Merry Christmas Danish❤🎁🎄
Happy Christmass brother.Thank you.
Here is another, Narcissistic supply comes from effort, not outcome (60% of the time): they gain emotional nourishment from attempting to manipulate, regardless of success.
Just like a Super Empath engages in caring things regardless of outcomes.
Merry Christmas Danish and everybody who is listening❤. Jesus take care of us all and I pray for this.
Thank you for sharing. Happy Christmas
He has gone through a lot himself and yet helping others!
You are on fire with these topics, amazing. Much luv to you, have a Merry Christmas 💚
The comment about being surprised that you got old, so accurate... as were the others
Mine goes through cycles like this all the time..wash spin cycles…Jekyll Hyde, very normal appearing to very anti social…most outsiders only see the nice nice normal, decent good ole boy…
I now see him as an extremely disordered person, it is very sad that he’ll never be happy with himself etc..( he was ext psych. And vb abused from a very young age.. he was raised by his disordered mother…I’ve never seen such a case…
I am his caretaker now as he is failing in health. Yes, he is as described in this video. A martyr, demanding attn, mainly psychological attn…helpless.
However, his cond is very grave, term in most cases…so I err on side of caution, am very patient..as it’s very difficult to discern whether his neediness is from his cancer, I know some is due to his narcissism..
You have to get down into the psychological trenches with these kind, it is a psychological war …until you can find a way to leave.
They "cry" never seen tears.
you are very very true sir
collapsing started for the
past one year ...
child behaviour
For single touch ...he scared
and yelled and shivered like
an animal where the moment
I shocked ...
I see his face ...a typical
mask removed face
For every question ,he reacts
late to answer ...
Always he covered his face
on the bed ...
He avoids facing me
Still he believes in control
and manipulation and lies
My God !
O yes, those black soolless eyes. I will never forget those.
Thank you Danish.
Your videos make my day! So spot on!!!
Merry Christmas Danish and thank you!
If it may help anyone: for over 10 years my golden children, narcissistic siblings have controlled my mother's care without any input from me. Last year I confronted my sister over the fact that she started giving updates to my adult children and excluded me. I asked her several times and she stonewalled me each time. Right after she would start gaslighting me including me in group texts and ignoring my questions. I told her to get lost I truly want nothing to do with her. I finally told my mother last April what was happening and after several attempts she blurted out she could care less if I showed up at her deathbed and funeral And she had no intentions of asking my sister to include me in her care. I said goodbye to her and told her she would never see me again. Today, I am the talk of all the slanderous gossip networks, after all, how can a Christian woman not talk to her 90 year old mother. The answer is simple: my mother abandoned and abused me since I was a child. I finally am waking up to reality: God wants me to love others as I love myself. Loving an abusive sentimentally mother is impossible. I have to learn to love myself first by respecting my own dignity..
I saw aging narcisists many times and it was not pretty, to say the least. Many get worse with age.
Yes. Merry Christmas Danish
Yes...my mother tried to fake hospitalizations regularly..she'd still do if I didn't block her..heart attacks ..saying it's all my fault in any case..and inheritance and money weapon...
Happy Christmas to you.
Thank you so much for enlightening at the right time🙏
I recently diagnosed with Adhd whivh i had since childhood but got triggered in this dynamic. So my ability to connect dots and reach a conclusion made me find out his disorder abd within a year i realised that my lack of focus attention in the beginning of relationship triggered him and till now he was punishing me with silent treatment
I don’t know if you care for Christmas 🎄 but anyway If you do, have a merry Christmas! I hope you have a great year. Greetings from the USA.
Perfect.
Yes, paranoid projections of their own behaviors and wishes on to other people when they feel they no longer have the power to subject everyone around them. Yes, manipulative clinging and grasping and placing themselves in the position they imagine they have always placed others. My mother treated the elderly and dying in our family so abusively I used to think "well how is she going to trust these people when she is old and feeble and needs help?" She knew. She went off and hid away and died alone out of terror that the relatives would get ahold of her in her weakened state and show her what she had shown so many others in their hour of need. She ran away from taking responsibility for her own actions all the way to her grave. She didn't even bother trying to seduce anyone into pitying her or helping her because she knew what she would do when someone needed her -- exploit, punish, torment -- oh and she certainly wasn't going to subject herself to "turn around is fair play". She lived a coward and she did a coward. Narcissists are the biggest cowards on earth.
God bless you. Merry Christmas and happy new year 2025
Unfortunarely, these things can be seen COMMON between both narcissist AND the actual Victim of narcissistic abuse (one example : these symptoms manifesting as trauma-response for Victim). So a narcissist can actually misuse this video to demonize the Victim as being the narcissist.
That's very accurate.
That's very accurate of you.
I remember my ex fiance collapsed only for a few days and took 1 week off but that was it and back to old behavior.
True True🔥 He was Good at that get me to feel sorry for him when he's sick and faking 😐😬
Merry Christmas Danish ☝🏾❤️👑🏆🎉
Happy holidays Bossigma🙂💝🌟
I've witnessed all of it. This video is all about me and my narcissistic father. It was a terrible experience.
Dot on point.
You see the beast that was camouflaged earlier
He called the kids saying I left him with all the work all the pipes are bursting.
Even a long time I left after I was mentally abuse named called etc.. he called my daughter to get a hold of me to return home because he was having a major panic attack and he was scarred.
My daughter begged me mom go see if dads ok I'm really worried. Etc ..
An other time he passed out and he didn't know what was happening we he came back to himself to say to me thank you for not leaving me I was so scared for the next day put me down and ignoring me yelled at me in front of his family to stop caring for him well let's say he told to stop controlling him ...
Twisted the truth by putting me down.
He won't stop manipulating the kids. Like today he sent a text to my son saying if you care about me or if you don't give her the message etc ..
Threatened him with love manipulative way .
Been in all of that😢
Holy crap been thru like all of thoes. Narcisits are brutal just got out of a 5 yr relationship or should I say situationship. Discarded 4 time I let him live here with me n my kids wen covid happend he left me last in April n trying still get me back I don't even get it. I'm done never goijg back now he will have to feel what it's like. Me n my kids n pets deserve better. So peaceful now. Except txts gonna have go no contact soon it been 7 months.still everyday just there taking up space in my head Caz always has to txt say something or he's sick or somthing bad happend like... 😂It's karma dude.. ❤Thank u for your videos.
Great video
I❤ Danish videos, so relatable.
Thank you for making aware of us
You’re spot on a trillion percent and it’s exactly what happened to me and glad we’re separated for over a year now in a bad divorce bcs he’s a criminal mind and stole 100’s of thousands of dollars and hid it all and plus all his abuses to me and my children and grandchildren and his own family
What a horrible man he is 😮😮😮😢😢😢
Yes! The eyes, demon eyes! I was scared as F***
Sadly it's incurable and there is no medication. It also overlaps with BD.
Its also happens that a daughter who is a narcissist, blames ONLY the mother "for everything", no matter what the father is like, but only "the mother is to blame for everything" what is happening to the daughter's life.
And the more someone tries to point out that it is lie, the daughter rages more and more and hates anyone who takes her mother's side. 😮🤔🤨
Mothers are the ones passing down narcicism in 97% of cases. The daughter is probably right. Leave her alone.
@@Lizbeth36961
Where do you get that information?
My mother said to me on her death bed, she used to slap me when I was a small child she didn't give a reason.this did hurt me but I forgave she was dieing
I haven't seen my narc mom for over 25yrs. She is astral traveling during the day and is haunting me and my dogs! I'm afraid it will only get worse when she dies
She can't harm you, walk in your FREEDOM 😊❤
I honestly believe that narcissists become poltergeists instead of ghosts when they pass away. Poltergeists have all the same behaviours - cat and mouse games, keep you awake at night, hide belongings, noisy, etc. They refuse to move on even after they die because they want attention. They don't have the brain capacity to behave any other way. I believe you about your mother visiting. They are truly unnerving people
Pray. Prayer protects you from evil spirits.
Prayer! 🤲🏾 Believer or not this is a spiritual war especially when they can't be ner you or be involved in your life.
I still have dreams where that monster appears and as always I rebuke him and chase him out of my dreams.
@@VMM34WoW! Great connection, holy crap 😮
The last one
Do they run a smear campaign as well when they are facing the collapse ?
Thank for your video
Thanks sir
I don't believe a narcissist actually feels shame. They Shame others but for them they believe everything about them is perfect. I really believe we are off on the whole theory that narcissists suffered and now this is a response from trauma. Their victims suffer trauma and often move to be wonderful caring people.
Merry Christmas Danish!! 🎁🌟🎄. Thank you for all you've done and continue to do in narcissistic abuse awareness and healing. You are a gift yourself by being a ray of light helping us all ( including yourself) find our way together as well as alone. May you have a wonderful Christmas and may we all shine on! 😁🙏✝️🫂🕯️🫂🕯️🫂🕯️🫂🕯️🫂🕯️❤️
Sounded more like your father then grandfather but what do I care. I have ASD but my own family doesn't believe me because in my country psychological disorders are just lumped together into one condition "insanity". No body wants to admit to a psychological disorder because it just means you are telling people you are weak and insane and no one should believe you. My father might have been a collapse narcissist but a lot of symptoms don't match his demeanor. I only know he largely ignored me all my life focusing on my siblings but that might have just been the curse of being the middle son. He did frown on me and admonished me more then his other children. Even when I told him his elder son is the reason my career life was set back by a decade he accused me of false accusation until he lived with his elder son for 4 years and realized I was telling the truth about his ill nature but by then I had given up on fighting on my own behalf and let everyone think of me what they wanted to think.
Ty
Danish! Would you please make a video on malignant narcissist (sociopaths with covert narcissism) only if u are willing to?
I was with one he was way different than other covert narcissist,eyes always blank.
Hi Danish,
I just want to say that I genuinely owe my soul to you right now. The videos you’ve been sharing are cropping up at the most scarily perfect times, and I can’t begin to express how much they mean to me. I’m absolutely broken right now, grieving deeply, and all hope I had left for my parents to be good people has faded away. On top of that, I’m battling through a terrible virus and struggling to pull myself out of a relapse of anorexia.
But the clarity your videos have provided has come at exactly the right moment. You are literally saving lives, including mine, and for that, I can’t thank you enough. God bless you, and please, keep doing what you’re doing. You’re making such a difference, and you’re saving so many of us. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.🙏🫶
I was the scapegoat.
I was no contact for 20 years plus.
Interesting how they end up.
A cousin sent Me a picture of her she how died. She was slump over on the floor.
I don't know why the cousin sent Me the picture. I was no contact with them as well.
Really didn't care
Love ya danish ❤❤❤❤❤ your great 👍 👌
"I'm having a heart attack come visit me" 😂😂 so predictable 👿
They will find one person to devalue while they're on their death bed within weeks or days before they die
Once you work out the narcs games and their behaviours there power goes coz you know then there only out for themselves, Even in old skool days this was looked down upon. When you realise there selfish and ignorant prooves only using you, doing this got her booted out as she took advantage of my kindness when i let her eat, she would scoff her face eating it fast on sly then by time i wanted to eat theres not much left or she ate best stuff leaving me whatevers left she did this once 2 many times nothing but a piss taker = narcissists
This is so demonic. I hope to never again come in contact with such people.
The most hideous part of it. Is they did not have to play god with you !
There is beautiful story that we were taught from the childhood. Every evening there was an idiot who was fooling that the lion is going to coming, but one evening it really came. It applies to them. Heaven's sake they can be honest and no drama so that she gets help from anybody and everybody ...She loves being from the childhood not understanding the real situation. It started from her father, then husband then so forth...
My five year relationship eith my bf ,,and muje ab realise hua hai ki vo narrasist hai, muje bharosa haii vo hai ,, ab muje visvas ni hota ki vo cute bnnee ki bs acting krta h sb fake h ,, im also have prosyis litile bit
Please upload this video on hindi sir
I wonder where they end up in the afterlife....
My husband had his collapse 7 month ago....after 15 years
He took so many drugs
He had no Feelings
He was acting demonic and still does most of the time
And everything you say happened....
So im waiting 4 number 6?
But he acted like he really wants 2 die ,kill himself but dont know how 2....could that b a way of how number 6 could b 2,i guess
Thank u 4 ur videos❤
Sounds harsh, but I'll just live my life. I take pride in being the scapegoat. They die, oh well. It's not like they recognize their wrongdoings, so why be a doormat when you can be a scapegoat instead? Scapegoat for life